A new chapter. Wheep :D

Doodler100: Mwaha, well, I like the feels to just surprise you and knock you down, that's how it works :D I'm wondering how you'll find this chapter :D

Dis Thrainsdotter: You're absolutely right and Tarya and Thorin will have some time to discuss a few things quite soon, we will see how that turns out :D

SociallyAwkwardDreamer327: First review ever?! Oh god, I feel so honored :D Thank you! I'm glad you like the story. And yes, I really wanted Kili and Tarya to be friends before anything else could happen because I'm just not really a fan of oh-hey-I've-never-seen-you-before-and-I-don't-even -know-your-name-but-you're-the-love-of-my-life-thi ngies. There had to be some sort of connection first :D

Also thank you so much to Mistflower21, BelovedDaughter and DwarvenWarrior for your reviews! I love reading them and they really keep my motivation up!

And also thanks to the people who followed and favorited and just wheeew!

And now read :D

Kili felt Tarya slump against him as she started crying and he tightened his hold around her, not quite knowing what to say. But then again, maybe he shouldn't say anything for once and so he just resolved to embrace her tightly and kept quiet, bringing one hand up to softly stroke her hair while she cried into his shoulder. It broke his heart, hearing her muffled sobs against his tunic and feeling her body tremble in his arms. Why couldn't she just tell him what was going on? Was it really so hard for her to understand that he cared about her and that he only wanted to help her?

He knew that he had been rather harsh with her before and probably a bit unfair, as well, his temper simply getting the better of him. But still. It would have made everything so much easier if she just talked to him.

They stood together like that for a while, her enveloped in his arms and Kili couldn't tell for how long exactly when her sobs were slowly starting to fade. He felt her grip the fabric that was covering his chest lightly, sniffing a few more times until she finally pulled back a little and looked up at him, her face flushed and her golden eyes red from all the crying.

"You took a bath," she mumbled hoarsely and he gave her a small smile, wiping the last traces of her tears softly off her cheeks with the back of his fingers before he placed one hand on her cheek.

"Well, a prince can't go around smelling like a whole horde of pigs, can he?" he teased slightly and saw a faint smile gracing her lips, before he continued cautiously. "Will you tell me what's causing you so much sorrow?" he asked her, his voice barely more than a whisper. "Please?"

She sighed heavily and inclined her head, almost as if in defeat. Her gaze settled on the collar of his tunic while she was absentmindedly pulling on a string there. Kili placed his free hand over hers to still her nervous fumbling, pressing it lightly to his chest. "Tarya…" he muttered, urging softly, fearing that if he raised his voice too much, it would destroy the feeling of calm that had settled in between them.

"Do you remember when I…" she hesitated a moment, her voice still a bit raspy from her crying. "… When I told you about my mother?"

Kili frowned a bit at her but she didn't see it because her gaze was still firmly set upon where her hand had been fumbling with his string, which had been replaced with his hand covering hers. "I do," he answered lowly, waiting for her to continue.

She did so after another moment of silent hesitation. "Do you remember what I said?" she asked him quietly, clenching her teeth for a second. "That I didn't know what happened to her?"

"I do," he repeated, observing her face intently.

"I know now," she whispered and the raw pain in her voice sent a deep ache through his chest.

He didn't rush her. Kili waited patiently, slightly squeezing her hand that felt so small in his own and bringing his other hand up to tuck a few strands of her hair behind her ear before he placed it back on her cheek, hoping to give her some comfort. He watched her close her eyes for a moment before she continued.

"She was killed," Tarya said, her hand fisting his tunic underneath his grip. "Murdered by the Pale Orc."

Kili's brows furrowed immediately when she said that but she went on before he could question her, almost as if she had to get it all out now that she had started, before she could back down.

"My mother was so kind, Kili," she continued in a low mumble, staring at his chest. "She was strong and wise and loving. And she was beautiful, too. She taught me everything I know. How to survive on my own, how to lead my life as a wolf of the Amarok. How every creature has a life and a spirit worth respecting…"

Kili could see how much it hurt her to tell him about this and he wanted nothing more than to pull her in his arms and comfort her. But all he could do was listen to her soft voice in the settling darkness as she allowed him to see more of her soul than she had ever let him before.

"She was the only one I had, Kili, and knowing that she died was one thing… But knowing that her life – the life of a creature so dignified – was ended by a filthy orc that is now wearing her fur like a rug, a cheap trophy of his own cruelty is… I- I can't bear it. I owe my mother everything and now she's gone and… and I'm just so alone, Kili," she said agitatedly, gripping his tunic tighter, so that he almost stumbled towards her, and he could see that she was on the brink of crying again, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears. "I have been alone for a very, very long time. It's part of being what I am. And I didn't mind, really. I didn't think about my mother often and I didn't think about the fact that I had a lonely life but when I saw that orc wearing her fur, I couldn't help myself, Kili. I had to fight him; he couldn't just get away with what he did to her. And then I saw Bilbo running towards him and Thorin was lying on the floor and… I couldn't let Azog hurt anyone else I care about. I needed to fight him. I still do."

She closed her mouth then and clenched her teeth together, scowling at his collar. Kili waited until she raised her gaze and looked him in the eyes, her gaze full of uncertainty.

"I'm so sorry," he said quietly and he really was, not only for her mother. Tarya frowned slightly, lowering her gaze again and he continued quietly. "For shouting at you up on the Carrock. For saying you didn't care about anyone when you ran against Azog. You were caring about everyone. I understand that now."

He finally let go of her hand on his chest and lifted both his hands to her shoulders, squeezing slightly. "I cannot possibly imagine how it must be to spend the majority of one's life alone but I can tell you one thing, Tarya. And that is that you are not alone anymore. Nor will you ever be again, if you don't wish so. You have me now," he said and quickly continued in the same breath, "And Fili, Bilbo and all the others. Mahal, even Dwalin cares for you and he's not exactly the most affectionate kind of dwarf."

Tarya smiled slightly but still looked a bit uneasy.

"But you have to understand something, too," he continued, bringing one hand to her chin to tilt it up, so she was forced to look into his eyes when he told her what he needed her to hear. "You are part of our company. And we all care about each other. We're friends. We protect each other. So please know that this applies to you, too, even if I'm aware that you don't particularly like it."

He couldn't quite tell what she was thinking when she looked at him with her peculiar eyes that looked the colour of a rich vein of gold.

"Do you trust me?" he asked her quietly, unconsciously letting his thumb stroke over her cheekbone. Tarya nodded slowly, looking at him as if she were under a spell. "Then please don't shut me out. Talk to me and let me help you if I can, and I promise you that Azog will be rightfully punished for what he has done when the time comes."

Tarya wasn't sure what to do. She felt Kili's warm touch on her cheek and it comforted her in a way that she didn't understand. She saw the deep honesty in which he spoke in his dark brown eyes and she couldn't help but feel sheltered.

He was right. She wasn't alone anymore. Even though she had lost her mother, she was less alone than ever. She had become part of a company, she had gained friends. And then there was this one particular dwarf right in front of her to which she had committed herself. She hadn't thought about this part of their relationship in a while because she still didn't quite know what it embodied but she slowly came to believe that maybe – just maybe – it meant she had finally found somewhere to belong.

And for that it was probably worth letting her guards down, she thought. It was worth letting Kili in.

She finally brought herself to nod, although she still couldn't avert her gaze from the deep brown of his eyes. It was like he was an anchor, helping her to find her way back to calm in the horrible swirling of her thoughts.

Kili smiled at her then, a gentle and bright smile that she couldn't help but return, even if hers was not as bright as his. But then again, she had never seen anyone with a smile as bright and contagious as Kili's, she thought to herself. He pulled her into his body again then, wrapping his arms around her and she returned his hug, putting her arms around his waist. She felt him press a small kiss to her head but before she could think about the gesture, a loud voice reached her ears.

"Oi! What in Durin's name is keeping you so long? Seriously, you send someone to look for another and suddenly, they're both untraceable."

Tarya turned her head to see Fili fighting off a twig that had tangled in his sleeve. He got rid of it with a huff and looked at them, his eyebrows rising as he took in their position.

"Oh, well," he grinned. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

Kili quickly let go of her and they both took a step back from each other, Tarya feeling an uncomfortable heat rise into her cheeks, even though there was really nothing to be embarrassed about, she told herself. Fili's grin widened ever so slightly but he didn't say anything as his brother sent him a dirty glare, followed by a look that Tarya couldn't quite decipher. But Fili seemed to be all over it, since his expression lost a bit of its mischief.

"You're not," Kili stated. "We were merely sorting out our…"

"Cat fight?" Fili provided and Tarya rolled her eyes at him, gathering her things once again.

"Argument," Kili finished, shoving his brother's shoulder when he walked past him. Tarya followed swiftly, sticking her tongue out at the blonde dwarf who chuckled lightly behind her.

"Well, I'm glad you sorted it out," she heard him say and Tarya looked at him over her shoulder, hearing a slight reservation in his voice.

"But?" she asked and Fili blinked at her, a look of defeat on his face.

"But… I have lost two gold coins to Bofur, thanks to you."

She turned to fully face him now, walking backwards behind Kili who snorted quietly to himself.

"You took bets on whether we would make up with each other?" she asked him incredulously, annoyance written all over her face.

Fili shook his head but she could see that he was trying to supress a grin that was threatening to spread on his lips. "No, no, never," he said solemnly and she raised an eyebrow at the blonde dwarf. "The odds to that would have been quite one-sided. We took bets on when you would resolve your fight. I said not before tomorrow but here you go, cuddling on a riverbank not even a day later."

"We were not – ," she cut herself off and turned her back on him when she saw the mischievous glint turn back in his eyes. "You are incorrigible."

Kili shot her a glance over his shoulder. "That's my brother for you," he smiled at her annoyed face.

"Well, you're brother is a moron," she announced just as they stepped back into the camp, tearing the companions' attention towards them.

"Never a truer word spoken, lass," Bofur laughed from his spot and Tarya chuckled lightly when Fili let out an indignant 'Oi!'. The merry dwarf with his fur hat grinned at the blonde Durin and held out his hand in silent demand. Tarya heard Fili sigh deeply before he walked past her and tossed two gold coins into Bofur's open hand.

Tarya walked over to where Bilbo was sitting with a bowl of stew on his bedroll. She sent the hobbit a smile when she sat down and Bilbo returned the gesture.

"Here," Kili came to stand before her and as she looked up at him, she saw that he was carrying two bowls in his hands. "You must be hungry," he said, handing her one of them. She thanked him, before he turned around to join his brother on the other side of the fire that was by now warming the company in the settling night. Tarya watched his retreating form as she took a spoonful of the stew, only now realizing how hungry she actually was.

This evening wasn't filled with the usual cheerful chatter of the dwarves, for they all were too tired to tell stories or to sing, as they sometimes did. It didn't take long after dinner until they all went to sleep, Gandalf offering to take watch, releasing Thorin from doing it himself, which the dwarf-king had actually planned on doing. But even Tarya could see that the proud dwarf was on his limits, even if she knew he'd never admit it openly.

Tarya herself felt the very same way. Her body was aching and she was glad to finally catch up on the lost sleep. She lay down on her spot next to Bilbo who was already fast asleep, curled into a small ball, his hands tightly buried in his pockets, probably to keep them warm during the night, she thought, glancing at the hobbit a last time before she closed her eyes, burying her face in the warmth of her coat.

Tarya didn't know how long she had been trying to fall asleep when she finally gave up and opened her eyes again. She didn't know what was wrong. She was tired enough to sleep through a whole day but somehow, something didn't feel quite right and she couldn't sleep. She would have blamed it on the fact that she was still troubled by the last day's events but the talk with Kili had really helped her with that – at least for now – so that couldn't be it. It had been good to get her thoughts off her chest and his response to it had really calmed her. So, what was keeping her from sleeping?

She slowly sat up, looking around the camp. The fire was still alight, although a bit smaller now and Tarya wondered how far through the night already was. She saw Gandalf sitting on a boulder nearby, puffing on his pipe in the darkness, seemingly deeply lost in thought. As her gaze wandered, it suddenly halted on the form of Kili who was turning around in his sleep as if he couldn't find a comfortable position to stay in. And then, she had an idea of what felt strange about this evening and what was possibly keeping her from sleeping.

The Amarok slowly got up, gathering her bedroll and the cloak she was using as a blanket from the floor and quietly made her way through the camp over to where the brunette dwarf was lying. She met Gandalf's blue-eyed gaze halfway through camp and stopped in her tracks, when she saw his knowing gaze on her. The wizard observed her a second, before his gaze swept to Kili for another moment. When he next looked at her, he had a gentle smile on his face and Tarya returned it slightly, not quite knowing what to think of the strange twinkle in the wizard's eyes. But she shrugged it off and took the last steps until she was standing next to the dwarf she had aimed to.

Laying out her bedroll next to his, she quickly lay down, covered her body with her cloak and closed her eyes. Yes – she thought, feeling Kili's warmth next to her – that was better.

But Kili was still tossing and turning next to her, so she instinctively reached out and grabbed his hand, opening her eyes confusedly when the dwarf suddenly twitched and then stopped moving altogether. When she looked over, she saw herself confronted with his dark gaze in the murk of night. He didn't say anything, squeezing her hand before he turned around so they were facing each other. There was something strange in his expression, Tarya thought but she couldn't quite decipher it before it gave way to a slightly worried expression, confusing her even more. And then it suddenly vanished completely when he gave her a small smile, as if he had just wiped it off his face.

She returned his smile slightly as he let go of her hand and she brought it up to tuck it under her head, wondering what he had been thinking about just before. All the while, she couldn't look away from Kili who was observing her silently. It was a bit awkward, she thought, and she was a bit embarrassed for coming to sleep next to him as if she were a fearful child. But then again, they usually slept next to each other, so she couldn't really be embarrassed for that, could she? It was normal and she just somehow felt more at ease here next to him than before beside Bilbo, although she couldn't tell why.

"Good night," she whispered, unwilling to think about the topic any further and she quickly closed her eyes.

She heard him shuffle a bit before his soft voice reached her ears. "Sleep well, Tarya," was the last thing she heard before she finally sank into the welcoming arms of unconsciousness.

Kili awoke early the next morning to the feeling of something tickling his face. He wrinkled his nose slightly, cracking one eye open, only to stare right into a mass of black hair. The young dwarf frowned deeply. What…? He couldn't finish the thought as he felt a body pressed to his front. He quickly jerked his head back, only now realizing that he was holding Tarya in his arms and that he had pressed her back flush against his chest, one of his hands sprawled on her stomach.

He immediately retrieved his hand as soon as his brain had caught up to the situation, awkwardly shuffling a bit backwards until their bodies were no longer touching. It was then that he heard an amused chuckle behind him.

"Want to tell me again that you were not cuddling?" Fili grinned as his younger brother sat up to face him, a slightly flustered look on his face.

"I just- I didn't… Oh, shut up," he grumbled, gracing his brother with an annoyed look as his grin widened. Looking around the camp, Kili was relieved that only a few others were getting up just now and apparently none of them had seen him sleeping – well, cuddling, really – with Tarya. Apart from Fili, of course, who somehow managed to always see everything that was even just slightly embarrassing him. His relief was short-lived though, when he met the light blue gaze of a pair of astute eyes across the camp.

He swallowed hard as Gandalf stared him down and Kili couldn't tell what the wizard was thinking at all. He looked just as much as if he were about to congratulate someone on his birthday, as he did like he wanted to knock him out with his staff.

Kili averted his gaze when he heard a low groan next to him and he looked over at Tarya who was stretching her limbs lazily, blinking up into the sky where the morning sun was shining down upon them. He could only hope that she hadn't noticed their position during her sleep. He wondered just for how much of the night they had actually spent in this position.

"Slept well, milady?" Fili chuckled from where he sat on his boulder and Tarya shot him a rather confused look while Kili sent a warning one at the same time. "Nice and warm?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I slept wonderfully," she smiled then and Fili smirked slightly, raising his eyebrows at Kili.

"Do you hear that brother? She slept wonderfully," he grinned and Kili resisted the urge to roll his eyes at him.

"Yes, that's great," he said, sending Tarya a smile that she returned brightly. He felt his heart flutter at the sight, just as it had done the night before when he had woken up to her holding his hand. And just as the night before, as nice as the feeling might be, it had worry spread through him like a paralyzing poison. He didn't know why his body was acting like this all of a sudden but he knew one thing.

This couldn't be good.