Hello and first off: sorry for the wait! I had a little personal drama going on lately and didn't get to write or update as I would have wanted to. But now I'm here and I have a new chapter with me :D
happypills27: Hahaha! Oh my god, I don't wanna know what that teacher was thinking :D I'm really glad you liked the chapter, though! Thank you so much :)
DwarvenWarrior: Yeah, now Kili knows what's up, though that causes another problem, you'll see :D I know that feeling, I was on a riding day-trip once when I was younger and god, my muscles were so sore afterwards :D
Doodler100: Well, she could hardly go and run around naked, could she? xD Kili is one sexy dwarf, indeed, I can't argue with that :D But I think your OC should rather have a few words with Kili then, since he's a bit more the one 'making the moves' and Tarya has no idea of what's actually going on around her :D
Teshka: Aww, yeah, Kilarya the little cutie pies xD I'm happy you liked the last chapter! :D
Thank you guys so much for your reviews! Also to DJ Sparkles, ZabuzasGirl, AngelBells (I loved your reaction :D), kaia and Angel of the Night Watchers!
I love reading from all of you guys!
Also thanks to those who favourited and followed and whatnot!
Now, read and please let me know what you think when you're done reading, I'd really like that :D
Tarya listened to Bombur as he sat down next to her to tell her about his wife and she couldn't help but smile at the big redhead's story. Apparently, Delifra had made a move on Bombur after she had been working with him in his kitchen for three years and everyone had long become aware that the dwarf maid had a soft spot for the cook. Well, everyone except the cook himself.
Then one day, Delifra had waited for Bombur in the kitchen halls, a blueberry cake placed in front of her on the table. She'd said that she'd especially made it for him because she knew that it was Bombur's favourite.
"It was the best blueberry cake I have ever tasted. The crust was perfectly baked, neither overdone nor underdone. The sponge was great and the filling was just exquisite, let me tell you. Sweet with just a hint of vanilla and –"
"I don't think the lass wants to hear about the cake, Bombur," Bofur interrupted his brother amusedly. "But rather about what happened with you and Delifra."
Bombur shot first his brother and then Tarya a sheepish look to which the Amarok replied with a small chuckle. The big dwarf shrugged slightly, a faint blush creeping on his cheeks. Tarya smiled softly at the redhead. She had never seen Bombur with as happy an expression on his face as he had now that he was talking about his One and she enjoyed it greatly. Tarya was quite fascinated by the concept of Ones, really. Apparently, it was something that only happened in the race of dwarves, for Bilbo didn't know of it either and was listening as fascinatedly to the companions' stories as she was.
"Well, as I ate the cake and looked into Delifra's face… she was looking so expectant and hopeful, you must know… it was like something clicked in place inside me."
"Well, they always say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach," Bilbo muttered next to her, earning a few chuckles from around the camp.
"Who says that?" Tarya asked, slightly confused, as she turned her gaze to Bilbo. She'd never heard anyone say that. Animals sure didn't, she thought, and as she looked up, she saw that almost all eyes were on her again and she wondered whether she'd just said something stupid by the way the dwarves were looking at her.
"Well, all sorts of people, really," the hobbit answered after a moment of silence, looking at her with a curious expression. "It's quite a common saying."
Tarya slightly nodded her understanding; a small frown working it's way on her face. Love seemed to be a rather big thing for all races if they were even common sayings about it, not just dwarves, she thought.
"Have you never heard it?" she heard Fili ask across the fire and the Amarok quickly glanced over to him, though accidentally catching his younger brother's gaze in the process. Her frown deepened slightly. Kili was looking at her as if he'd seen a ghost. But she had no time to wonder about it as the brunet dwarf quickly averted his gaze to somewhere else, leaving her to hesitantly move her own over to Fili who was watching her thoughtfully.
"No, I haven't," she said in reply to his question. "I guess it's not as common amongst my kin."
"Right," Fili mused, his brows drawing together in thought as he looked at her. "What is it like for Amarok, then?"
Tarya shot him a questioning look, to which the blonde dwarf cleared his throat slightly. "When you fall in love, I mean?"
Tarya shrugged slightly. She had never really thought about that before. "We don't."
"What do you mean, 'you don't'?" Fili prompted quickly, almost sounding offended. Tarya could only raise her eyebrows at him in surprise.
"Well, romantic love is not something that Amarok are overly familiar with," she explained hesitantly, hearing her voice gaining a hint of defiance, although she really didn't quite know why. She didn't have to justify her kin's customs. "Amarok are wolves, we don't fall in love, really. We don't even live in packs like normal wolves, so we don't have those bonds, either. We – " she paused shortly, a bit embarrassed by what she was about to say. But the truth was the truth, she thought, and clearing her throat, she finished. "I guess we just… mate."
There was a long, almost uncomfortable silence as none of her companions knew how to respond to that and Tarya kept her gaze firmly on the floor, not willing to look any of her friends in the eyes, feeling heat spreading in her cheeks as they all stared at her. Although there was truly nothing to be embarrassed about, she thought. Even though she wasn't really just a wolf anymore and wasn't even sure how accurate her description still was in her own particular case, it was still completely natural behaviour for Amaroks. And anyway, there were so few of her kind out there that mating between Amarok was a rare thing in itself. In all her years, Tarya herself had never even seen another Amarok besides her mother. Still, she felt like she should have just kept quiet.
"Well… that seems quite natural for wolves," Balin spoke up after a moment, his voice gentle and friendly as always and Tarya slowly raised her gaze to meet the old dwarf's. Balin was smiling softly at her and she was thankful for the old dwarf's friendly demeanour.
Kili was not a happy dwarf.
In fact, the young prince of Durin felt utterly miserable as they set out on the road again the next morning.
He had not been able to find any sleep that night, his mind keeping him awake until he could see the morning sun rising in the sky. The last evening, his thoughts and feelings had wandered from first confusion, as his own body seemed to betray him whenever he was near Tarya, to the shocking realization that he had evidently found his One in an Amarok and that there was nothing he could possibly do about it. And then, before he could even so much as truly process that he was in love – that he actually loved Tarya – he was confronted with the crushing certainty that his adored one would never return those feelings because she didn't even know what love truly meant.
The fact that Tarya had been lying as close beside him as she usually did and that he could practically feel the warmth radiating off her body had not been helping much to calm his mind, either. Normally, the black-haired woman's presence next to him would have helped him sleep quieter, ease his mind. But last night it had suddenly just been a painful reminder that she was so close and yet unreachable. And that feeling still remained the same now that she was sitting in front of him on the pony again, her back softly colliding with his chest every now and then.
It was driving Kili insane.
She was there – his One – right under his nose and he couldn't tell her how he felt about her, although his whole body was urging him to do so. It almost seemed to be worse than before, now that he knew what was going on with him. But Kili knew he couldn't give in to that. The way she had talked about her kin's attitude towards love the night before was his proof. Tarya was not familiar with it and he would just ruin their friendship if he suddenly made a move on her. She wouldn't understand and he would probably just manage to scare her away from him. He couldn't risk that.
This was all so wrong, Kili thought with a silent sigh. There had never been word of dwarves falling in love with anyone not their race. At least, none that Kili had heard of. Why did it have to be him of all people whom it happened to? It seemed like the Valar were playing a rather cruel joke on Kili, letting him fall in love with someone who wouldn't return his feelings. He wasn't sure what happened to dwarfs whose love stayed unrequited. It was said, though, that a dwarf who found his One would never love another in his lifetime. And Kili had no trouble imagining that. Now that he knew what exactly it was that he was feeling, he was also certain that he would feel like this towards Tarya for the rest of his life, even if he'd never actually tell her. He couldn't tell her.
He knew he would never be more than a friend to the Amarok, never her beloved. But Kili could do that, he thought, albeit a bit grimly. It wasn't quite enough, it wasn't what his heart truly wanted but he could live with it. He could live with never being able to call Tarya his beloved if it meant that he wouldn't lose her. But he would have to keep his distance from now on, at least for a while, until he had his feelings back under control. For his own good.
"Well, here is Mirkwood!" he suddenly heard Gandalf exclaim loudly and was abruptly ripped out of his trail of thoughts. Kili blinked a few times, wondering how he'd managed to get so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed the large dark trees growing ever bigger before them as they came closer to the forest.
He then felt Tarya shift uncomfortably in front of him as the company stopped right at the edge of Mirkwood and quickly descended the pony, reaching up his arms to help her down. Tarya accepted his aid silently, shooting him a quick look before she turned her back on him as soon as she felt the floor beneath her feet and walked away towards Bilbo. Kili sighed quietly. He'd not spoken a word to her – or anyone, for that matter – since the last evening and she was obviously quite angry with him for giving her the cold shoulder. And Kili couldn't blame her, for she had no idea what she was even getting it for. But he just couldn't bring himself to talk to her as if nothing had happened. Not yet.
"Are you all right?" he suddenly heard a very familiar voice asking carefully from beside him. Kili looked up and saw Fili standing a few feet away, holding his own pony by the reigns and watching him worriedly. The blonde dwarf had of course noticed the dark rings around his younger brother's eyes.
Kili shortly looked around, noticing that the rest of the company was a bit further away, nearer to the forest gate already.
"Yeah," he then mumbled, avoiding his brother's gaze. "Just tired."
Fili's brows drew together in worry as he observed Kili's face. His little brother was looking positively miserable and Fili was quite sure he knew why. He'd seen the realization dawning on his face the night before and he'd seen the hopelessness creep into his features just moments later. Fili knew his brother was in love with Tarya, and he knew that Kili knew it as well. The only problem was that apparently Kili's solution to this was to push the Amarok away from him.
He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by a sharp look from Kili. "Don't start."
Fili closed his mouth, eyebrows rising in question.
"I know what you're about to say," Kili stated, maybe sounding a bit harsher than he intended to. "Don't start."
With a sigh, Fili inclined his head, accepting that his brother didn't want to talk at the moment. Maybe it was just too early, the blonde dwarf thought; Kili always needed some time to adapt to big events. And finding one's One was quite a big event, indeed.
Tarya felt an unpleasant feeling fill her stomach when she came to stand beside Bilbo and looked up at the massive dark trees before her. The forest gate was formed like some sort of archway out of two large trees that had mingled and knotted their branches together over many decades and Tarya already dreaded the first step inside the looming darkness that waited behind it.
"Now," she heard Gandalf say. "You must send back these excellent ponies you have borrowed."
Tarya heard a few of the dwarves grumble at that, although she didn't quite understand it. After all, they had always known that they would have to send the ponies back to Beorn. And quite honestly, she was glad that she didn't have to share a pony with Kili any longer. While she had slowly gotten more used to the strangeness of sitting on a pony thanks to him, she could easily do without the awkward heavy silence he'd treated her with today and that would be easier if they weren't pressed up against each other all the time.
"Beorn isn't as far off as you might think, you fools," Gandalf huffed at the dwarves' nagging. "If your eyes were as sharp as Mr. Baggins', then you would have seen the large bear that has been going along with us and watching the camp at night. Beorn is a bad enemy, and you had better keep your promises. You cannot guess the kindness he has shown you in letting you ride his ponies so far, nor what would happen to you if you dared take them into the forest."
Tarya raised her eyebrows slightly as she saw some of the dwarves exchange worried looks and turned her gaze to Bilbo who just shrugged. She had never actually seen Beorn following them along during the last days but every now and then in the evening, the wind had carried a certain smell over the camp and Tarya had known that the familiar bear was near.
"What about the horse, then?" Thorin asked gruffly. "You don't mention sending that back."
"That is because I'm not sending the horse back; I am riding it."
Tarya felt her stomach drop at the wizard's announcement. Of course, she had known that Gandalf was planning to leave them soon but that he was dropping them off on the very edge of Mirkwood still filled her with a certain amount of dread. Having a wizard in the company had been quite useful, after all. As it turned out, a lot of the others had similar opinions and did not hesitate to share them with Gandalf but he waved all complaints off. He had pressing business to attend in the south and – as he was saying – he was already late.
And so there was nothing left to do for them than to fill their water-skins on a nearby stream and unpack the ponies. Tarya saw the two Durin brothers stand together, both their faces hard and thoughtful, although Fili shot her a small smile when he caught her gaze. Tarya smiled back as Dwalin handed her the pack she'd have to carry.
They had distributed the bags and packages as fairly as they could, although Tarya was almost sure that hers was a bit lighter than the others', for when Bilbo put on his pack, he almost toppled over. Tarya quickly grabbed his shoulder to steady him and the hobbit shot her a thankful look out of slightly widened eyes.
"Don't worry," Thorin said from beside them, causing the both of them to look up at the dwarf-king who was just re-strapping his bow to his back. "It will get lighter all too soon. I expect we will all wish our packs heavier before long, when the food begins to run short."
"What an optimistic outlook you've got there," Tarya replied dryly and Thorin just sent her a pointed look. They both knew his words were true and the Amarok sighed quietly as he stepped past her, directing her gaze back to the archway that marked the entrance to the forest. She didn't feel good about this.
"It looks quite uninviting," Bilbo muttered and she just nodded, for the hobbit was stating a mere fact.
"Let's just hope we'll get through soon," she said, sharing a small smile with Bilbo before she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning around, she met Gandalf's sharp gaze. The wizard bent down slightly, leaning on his staff as he did so.
"My dear Tarya," Gandalf muttered, a small smile coming to play around his lips. "I sure hope we meet again before the end of your journey. You have made the right decision in staying with them."
"Have I?" Tarya asked lowly, her gaze involuntarily wandering to the brunette dwarf that was standing further away with his brother, his back turned on her. Had she done something to offend him? Tarya didn't know but she felt her mood drop further with every moment he kept this behaviour on.
Gandalf smiled softly. "Indeed, you have. And be certain that you will always make the right decision as long as you are following your heart."
Tarya returned her gaze to the grey wizard, frowning slightly as she tried to make sense of his words.
"Trust your heart and your friends, and you shall always find the right path, Tarya," Gandalf muttered, squeezing her shoulder gently. Tarya couldn't help but return his smile, sad that the wizard was leaving.
Gandalf's gaze wandered to Bilbo then who had witnessed the exchanged silently. The hobbit was looking rather uneasy at the idea of stepping into Mirkwood and Gandalf patted his shoulder amicably. "Now, Bilbo, don't back out now. You have come so far already. I wish you good luck for the remainder of the journey."
Tarya looked at Bilbo who still seemed a bit uneasy, gazing up at Gandalf with an unsure expression on his face. He cleared his throat slightly. "I- I found something in the Goblin tunnels," he then mumbled, causing Gandalf to narrow his eyes at him. Tarya's brows drew together questioningly as she watched the hobbit's right hand fumble the small pocket on his vest.
"What did you find?" asked Gandalf slowly, observing Bilbo closely. The hobbit's gaze flew to the ground then, before it landed on Tarya who gave him a small smile. His expression changed ever so slightly and as he returned his gaze to Gandalf, he pressed his lips together for a moment before he finally answered.
"My courage," Bilbo said a bit hoarsely and Tarya smiled brightly at this statement.
"Good," Gandalf chuckled, winking slightly at the small man before him. "You'll need it."
Tarya exchanged a look with Bilbo and her returner her smile as Gandalf turned away from them and towards the rest of the group. Everyone had their packs shouldered by now, their weapons strapped to their sides and backs, ready to depart. Bilbo followed the wizard as he stepped to his horse and began to bid them farewell. Tarya averted her gaze to the entrance to the forest again, standing alone at the edge for a moment while Gandalf wished them good luck and courage several times, telling them something about how he would maybe check in on them once again before the journey was all over. Tarya wasn't really listening though, her hands nervously fumbling the two longs daggers that were strapped to her hips.
"Goodbye!" Thorin growled at the wizard, after Gandalf had already mounted his horse. "If you won't come with us, you had better get off without any more talk."
Fili saw Gandalf shoot his uncle a slightly cross look but a moment later, the wizard turned his horse in the direction they had come from. "Goodbye, then!" he called as he rode off into the West. The dwarves turned around and headed for the forest gate when they suddenly heard the wizard's faint voice one more time and as Fili turned around, he saw Gandalf's silhouette in the distance, the wizard having brought his hands to his mouth as he called out to them. "Goodbye! Be good, take care of yourselves – and DON'T LEAVE THE PATH!"
Then he turned around and was soon out of sight.
"That wizard always needs to have the last word," Fili muttered quietly, causing Kili beside him to snort slightly.
"Well, it's either him or uncle. He won this round," the brunette whispered so that only Fili would hear it. The blonde dwarf grinned at his younger brother before they turned around as Thorin ordered them to move.
As Kili turned, his gaze fell upon Tarya who was standing right at the forest gate, staring into the dimness they were about to step into. The Amarok was looking rather nervous but her expression changed when she threw a look over her shoulder and accidentally caught his gaze. Her features hardened somewhat as a hurt look crept its way into her golden eyes. She kept looking at him as he came closer with Fili beside him and Kili felt his heart give a hard tug in his chest. He sighed quietly. This had to stop as soon as possible, he thought, as he averted his gaze, settling it onto the back of the person that was walking in front of him, which happened to be Bilbo.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tarya fall in step further ahead next to Dwalin as they plunged into Mirkwood.