Spitfire, Chapter 14: I'm alive

Before Misty had followed Ash out; Dawn May, and Misty stood in a slight circle, holding half-fancy glasses and furrowed faces while they talked about supper's special events, pokepictionary, pokemon and other topics; mostly, May and Dawn talked about a possible rematch—and a battle against Misty.

"Sorry, girls. I left most of my pokemon at the gym. I kind of came here on the spur of a moment." Misty replied awkwardly while scratching her head. She shut them down effectivly, much to Dawn's displeasure. She had wanted to battle Misty since she first hear about the water-type gym leader.

Hearing her comment, Dawn puffed up her cheeks and looked at Misty with raised eyebrows; "That's what Brock mentioned; he said that he went to Cerulean City to pick you up."

Misty nodded nervously, as if unsure of what to think about Dawn at the moment; most of Dawn's comments were a bit unsettling to Misty; the latter still wondering if Dawn had over heard Gary in the kitchen about fighting for Ash—and if she had, why she hadn't mentioned it yet. So, Misty treaded lightly. Dawn seemed non-the-wiser as she suddenly turned spastic, looking between May and Misty with brimming grin.

"I have a great idea." Dawn said, taking her bag off her shoulders—she removed a bottle of champagne before continuing, "Ash should give a speech." May nodded her agreement, but Misty grunted.

"He doesn't like speeches very much, does he?"

"Why do you care, aren't you two fighting?" Dawn chimed harshly, catching a worried look from May.

"So you guys haven't made up yet?" Misty shook her head softly in response; and Dawn placed her hands on her hips, May mimicked the pose; that simply wouldn't do.

And so, with some much needed encouragement, the red-head finally stalked off to talk with Ash nearly five minutes ago, now. Dawn had long since left as well, mingling with other people from the party—getting stuck on Gary. May didn't think much about it; she didn't want to see Misty fight with Ash about as much as she didn't want to see Serena with Ash. May slurped her drink and sighed. She knew that the only reason Dawn even brought up the speech was so that Misty would go talk with the sullen boy. He was acting weird since dinner—and at least him getting angry was more of a reaction than no reaction. May backed up against the wall, leaning her shoulders against it with her hips popped out slightly.

So, with Misty talking with Ash; and Dawn talking with Gary, May was left on her own thoughts. She swished her drink in her mouth before swallowing. In a lot more than one way, May was different than Misty. Possibly, the first and foremost difference was while Misty had lost her love of romance and the belief that love conquers all over years of experience; May was anything but over the idea of love; no, it still intrigued her, interested her and caught her attention. She believed in it.

May wasn't like Misty in respect to girlishness, while Misty was girly sometimes, May liked to believe that every moment should have a feminine touch; even if that said moment is clearing her plate, and several others at the table; she did so femininely. With respect to understanding when there were times that dirt and grim won—such as her events arriving into Viridian City. There was nothing girly about running around covered head to toe in dirt; luckily, she had two companions with her equally as muddy, equally as messy.

At that thought, she swished around her beverage and smiled.

Had someone asked her seven years ago if she would have traveled half-way across the world with her little brother, she would have laughed; and done so loudly. Her relationship with Max wasn't always the best; he had a hard time listening to her, and she to him. In the general sense, they lacked respect for one another, but they didn't lack love. No, May loved her brother. The way that he stood by the fireplace beside Bonnie, thinking he was being smooth as a baby's bottom while attempting to flirt. It was almost so cute she wanted to take a picture and send one home to her mother and father in Hoenn. She couldn't help but grin—she hadn't ever been lucky enough to have boys run head over heels for her, and so seeing Max attempt to flirt was comforting. At least Max would someday become a good man.

Maybe, unless he turned out like Brock. May sipped her drink until slurping the bottom. Turning out like Brock would be bad. Maybe she should intervene after all? She grinned. What was the point in being the older sister if she wasn't allowed to embarrass and torment him sometimes.

See, May knew the difference between family love, and relationship love pretty clearly, crystal clearly. Family was a blood tie, one that she could always rely on and count on, while a relationship was passionate and bold and new. But to say that relationships were on her mind before this trip into Pallet Town would have been a lie. No, quite honestly she carried on without much thought about it; that's what confused her the most about the situation with Ash. Was relationship love this complicated all the time?

Why did she care so much about something she cared so little?

"May, how's it going?" Drew's voice cut through the party-esque atmosphere like a razor, when he spoke, his words always called for attention; well, that's at least what May thought. Sometimes. Occasionally. Her cheeks blushed for a moment before she retained her composure.

"Pretty good, and yourself?" She asked, returning to her position beside the window. With her thoughts derailed, she had forgotten all about causing trouble for Max. Lucky him.

"Decent. You girls did really well at Pictionary." May had to stop herself from gloating, it wasn't often that her rival fetched her a compliment, and so it was hard to pipe down from crowing. Luckily Karaoke didn't catch on after pictionary or else Drew might not have been in such a good mood.

"Thank you, your team didn't do so bad, either." She said, with one eyebrow raised. That was when Drew turned around to face the crowd, rather than standing in front of her to talk. He looked onward at the shuffling of bodies. Serena had started talking with Brock and Tracey a lot more. The friendliest, and easiest going of all of Ash's traveling companions. They were not confusing like girls, and they weren't abrasive like Gary and Drew. They just seemed so natural. Often, May wondered why exactly it was that Brock could never get a date? She knew from Misty that Tracey had started dating her oldest sister, but had no idea how serious.

He seemed happy; so that was nice.

"What happened at dinner?" Drew asked, breaking the silence with a quirked eyebrow, drawing May's blue eyes back over to his green. She had her lips pursed over her drink, and started to sip again; letting off a loud gurgling noise from the bottom of the cup. What was that saying? If you weren't supposed to answer something, busy yourself with something else? In this instance, she hoped she could just keep drinking until Drew had forgotten his question.

Unlikely, because after a few seconds; he extended his hand, and took the empty glass away from her fingers; leaving her sucking air out of the straw. She scrunched her face, disgruntled.

"I was enjoying that."

"I figured if you wanted to suck air, you should at least have a clean supply." He added in that snarly way that made May want to pull on his cheeks until he screamed uncle. She glared with a pout. At least her distraction worked, right?

"So, what happened?"

Damn it, no it didn't.

"Well, obviously Brock, Gary and Misty are tripping." She nodded respectfully, casting a single glance at Gary, who was busy chatting with Dawn. Everyone seemed so much happier after the games, so it was refreshing to see everyone getting along again.

"C'mon May. Did it have anything to do with why you were crying earlier?" He asked, and May had to shiver with how perceptive he was. She thought that she had covered her tear stains pretty well, her eyes mostly wiped and taken care of—and Misty's pep talk put her right at ease. She hoped that dinner's special events didn't have anything to do with that, but she thought she knew what it had been about. A little dense to follow, she might have even pitched in had she known about the secret plan to thwart Serena from knowing anything.

She had to stammer and think, which only made Drew sigh, and flip his hair testily. May was never good at making up a believable cover story; so maybe the truth would better suit this situation than a poor lie? Drew would never stop pestering her if she lied, any how.

"Well, I'm not for certain," she started, having taken out the straw in her mouth and dropped it into the cup that Drew still held on to, "But I think Misty, Brock, and Gary were just looking out for Serena." She explained carefully. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the full truth.

This caught Drew's attention as he looked over the crowd once more—noticing a very clear lack of Ash, and another of Misty. Surprisingly, May was one of the few that knew what happened between Misty and Gary; confused herself about why Ash would be upset about it though; she didn't seem to mind at all that Misty was the one taking the brunt of Ash's anger. No, she almost seemed suited for it.

"...Why?" Drew finally asked, looking sideways at May.

"Because of something that happened between Gary and Misty. Apparently it upset Ash, and the truth would upset Serena the most."

Drew let out a frustrated sigh, touching two fingers to his forehead.

"The infamous love-square?" He looked around the room again, counting a few more heads.

"Love...hexagon, polygon...octagon?" He added with some of his coolness lost. May giggled which resulted in a grin from her green haired traveling companion.

May knew that she might have been included in that, but for some reason; at least right now, her heart seemed to flutter enough that she didn't seem to mind. "Something like that, Drew, but I don't think it's as complicated as it seems." May said offering a sly wink, garnering a blush from him that hadn't gone unnoticed by the brunette. He did that a lot lately, though she never asked why. She would have said something, but he shook his head in repertoire, and fumbled to find conversational footing again.

"You're okay though, right? Nothing happened?"

"Nothing worth telling." She assured him with a solid pat on the shoulder right as Misty and Ash made their reappearance into the room. Ash held onto the bottle, but looked quite hesitant to make a toast. In fact, after Misty touched his shoulder to part ways; he placed the bottle on the stand by the exit door. Speech was not going to happen, apparently. May slouched a bit.

"I need to go talk with her." May pointed over in Misty's direction before sauntering off, leaving Drew standing, holding two glasses awkwardly. One might have even thought he looked a bit sad to watch her go.

But May had a job to do, she had questions to ask; and she knew the best person to get them from was the mother-esque person of the group; Misty. Least...May viewed her as the motherly type, she always had a baby pokemon, a stern tone, yet a gentle touch. Maybe she was bias, having heard so many great stories from Brock and from Ash, but that's what she liked the most about Misty, she was caring; always.

However, May was also the type of person that over-looked negative traits easily, it wasn't naivety to stir such a belief, she just thought that everyone had a fair chance. That's why even after years of Harley tormenting her and trying to undermine her, she kept giving him another chance to redeem himself in a fair competition. She wanted to believe that everyone had some good in them, and while Misty was a bit temperamental and sometimes crazy; she always had an underlying sense of care, fun and adventure as well.

So, when May intercepted Misty she did so without cracking her facade—because quite honestly, she was confused. She didn't understand what was going through her head, or why she cared so much. While the initial shock of discovering that Ash was dating Serena was like getting scalded with very hot water, the longer May thought about it, the more she was okay with Ash's decision.

That's what scared her the most, because she had spent, not an obsessive amount of time, making fantasies in which she and Ash would date for years and eventually become the best at their career; only, now that she was faced with needing to know if that would ever come true or not, she was mortified of the outcome. Ash was wonderful, he was sweet and heroic, daring and trustworthy, he had a long list of things that May absolutely adored about him, but she couldn't stop this nagging feeling in the back of her mind, constantly pressuring her and pestering her about her feelings. How unnatural they were. When they traveled together, the feelings came in bursts, never full on assault shots like they were now; so she was torn between acting, and over-thinking; and she needed help from someone who might be the only other person in her shoes. Her facade faltered, only slightly.

"Hey Misty." May started with her hands twitched together, she looked to have caught Misty by surprise; her eyes grazing down at May. Misty was still a few inches taller than her.

"Hey, what's up?" the red head spoke smoothly; May was impressed to see that she had recovered so much since their last conversation. Having gone from falling down at dinner, to light as a kite now.

"You seem to be in a good mood." May muttered, a small smile returning to her features. Good moods were always contagious for May. If someone else was happy, she was too.

"I'm always in a good mood." Misty retorted with a half-smirk.

May chuckled, "Right, and I'm a leprechaun."

"You don't have red hair." Misty added with an expression that May could only think reminded her of astonishment; May let out a bellowing laugh.

"So are you a leprechaun?" she choked out, rubbing her eye.

"Of course. Stay away from my gold." Misty laughed because May laughed, and winked playfully.

Suddenly, May's heart rate increased; why was she in such a good mood? She was pretty uneasy during their last conversation; sputtering about how Ash wouldn't talk with her. "You're in a really good mood; did something happen?" May asked and playfully pushed Misty. The older girl blushed gently and then shook her head. May had to swallow hard to remain calm.

"No," she denied as confidently, "Anyways, enough about me. What's wrong? You were so cheerful earlier."

That's right, May had been loaded in a 'cart of denial' the last time they spoke privately. It wasn't that she didn't believe Serena and Ash were dating, they just didn't act couple-y, like May would think a couple would act. So it might have been a little bit of denial... but May had worked past that on her own; settling somewhere in the middle. She could see that Misty was worried, and so May crossed her arms timidly.

"I...I uh, don't know what to do about Ash." May admitted quietly, more so to herself than to Misty, so that no one would hear her. Misty reached out to touch May's shoulder.

Her emerald green eyes ripped into May's blue ones like a knife; her kind gesture forced May to stand upright and it was like Misty could see into her soul. May had a feeling what she should do to confirm her feelings for Ash, but it was a little unorthodox, and possibly frowned upon in most situations.

"Talk to him. It helps. You'll feel better doing what you think you need to do... So, if you think you know what will fix the situation, do it. You can't keeping holding onto hope just because it's there." Misty smiled at May, who only gave her an even more confused look after the short pep talk.

"But Misty, I'm not sure my solution is very...forthcoming."

"I'm sure it will be fine. If you have a solution to your problem, do it. Because I unfortunately don't have one for you, but I'll always be here to listen." At that last comment, May smiled brightly.

"Thank you, Misty." May said happily before excusing herself. Misty watched her leave as quickly as she had come, and then shrugged her shoulders as she worked her way forward.

May didn't miss a beat to exit into the hallway, she checked it both ways before walking off into the bathroom. Once there, she splashed her face with cold water, reiterating her plan in her mind over and over again. High stakes for high results? Wasn't that what Ash had told her when they first started traveling together. If she didn't put her all into it, she would never see results.

Well. She looked at herself in the mirror, and tried to smile. She was going all in...but something just seemed...wrong.

As she gazed into the mirror in front of her, looking over her bandana, she almost moved to take it off. Who was it that called to check up on her during her travels in Johto? Who was it that always told her she looked "nice" with her hair down? May fingered her gloves gently, peeling them back on as she prepared for her version of the end game. Her stomach felt concave, like she could throw up.

Couldn't Misty have just given her an answer instead of telling May that what she thought was right, was probably the right thing? Was Misty putting too much faith in May?

May groaned, rubbing her hands against her temples. She couldn't think this way! Everytnhign was too confusing, and she needed an answer now. No matter the consequence. She had to remain positive that some good could come of this—though she wasn't sure why she would want to do this, she just had to know. There was no other way for her to figure this out.

Serena figured it out. So if May could determine her emotions were worth fighting for; she might actually fight for Ash. If she thought that there was something that could ever work between the two of them, she wanted to know.

Regrettably, she was right back at the start again, looking into the reflection of her blue eyes as she gulped. But why now? Why was she wanting this now? A week ago, she wouldn't have even noticed. Stepping away from the sink, she exhaled.

It was now or never.