Spitfire, Chapter 17: Icebox

What exactly happened?

What the fuck actually happened?!

Misty had internally asked herself that question a million times by the moment that her feet hit the outside walk. She did not pause to grab her jacket, or her bag as she trudged on, leaving her exit door open. Luckily, her shoes were never removed, so she was able to sprint right away. Not entirely sure why she was running, or where she was going, she hauled herself through the night streets of Pallet Town blindly as Gary's distant voice yelled after her.

Before the mess that ensued; Misty was surprised that she didn't feel as hostile; or upset, or really, anything other than happy after her talk with Ash on the back porch. Even though she knew that everything still wasn't 'perfect' between them, she was happy. In fact, a part of her was okay with where she and Ash were, even if where the were was the permanent friend zone. She enjoyed having him as a friend more than anything else; simply being around him was enough to bring her mood up, and she would be lying if she said that wasn't worth every part of torment she created for herself over the years.

She was also lying if she said that was all she ever wanted from their friendship.

Thus, when May approached her for advice that evening, Misty never thought that May would have thought that kissing Ash was considered a good solution. Sure, May didn't fully believe that Ash and Serena were dating, but kissing him? Damn it, May, what were you thinking? Misty hissed internally.

Misty touched her face where Serena had slapped her and exhaled hard. Her stomach muscles contracted as her feet pounded against the dirt roads. She had not ran in so long that her lungs started to burn, but she didn't stop. Her feet carried her much further than she could have imagined, and she was at the harbor before she stopped to kneel over the planks. Because of the fading sun the harbor was empty, aside from a few returning sailors. Huddling over as the wind pressed gooseflesh over her skin, she was left to think back to the party, holding her forehead and stomach while lurching forward, gagging. Remembering.

Previously, Tracey was standing alone near the fire place; and so Misty took her place there. Desperate to make conversation about something that didn't revolve around handing out advice. She had no more to give! She could not tell everyone that the solution they thought was the best one was the correct one. Especially not if said solutions resulting in May kissing Ash! Misty was still young herself; she didn't have all of the answers; on top of that, Misty was TRYING to be neutral, but neutral friends never had a happy ending. In the end, she would have to take a side—whether she would side with herself, or no one, was the better question.

"Hey Tracey; how are you?" Misty had asked Tracey at the party before everything went screwed. He had relaxed momentarily before panic shot in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Misty asked, "Did Daisy do something?" She added, and then Tracey shook his head, almost getting a love-struck daze over his features.

Since Tracey helped Misty and Daisy save their luvdiscs a couple of years ago, Tracey had been dating Daisy. He came around quite a bit before then—stirring the pot just enough so that everyone thought that he and Misty were dating. However, it didn't take Misty long to deduce that he was infatuated with her sister. Sure, she was a little jealous at first; but after realizing that Daisy was Tracey's type, Misty accepted him like he was her own brother.

"Draw me like one of your french girls." Misty had snickered, recalling an event that had happened right before she moved into her own apartment and out of the gymnasium top floor. Tracey turned a scarlet shade of red upon hearing Misty make the comment, and then looked around the room like someone was listening to their conversation; and puffed out his cheeks.

"You heard that?"

"Why do you think I moved?" Misty added, acting mortified. Tracey's face grew a deeper shade of red, and he coughed to clear his throat. Misty was sure that Daisy enjoyed the extra attention her "like, perfect, model body" received from Tracey, the artist. However, that didn't make it any less gross, and it couldn't stop her from teasing the head-band wielding man.

"Not showing off those pictures are you? I don't think Daisy would like that. Though...I'm sure Brock would pay you..." she cooed with a fox expression; Tracey waved at her to stop.

"Stop that! It was only the one time." He was frantic now- he was never the best at being titillated, but Misty could only tease more.

"That's not what Daisy said." Of course, Daisy never told her anything, but Tracey's reaction only verified the message and Misty could have died from laughter. If only Ash were here to make the situation worse like they used to do to Brock when they were kids.

"It's funny, I get it. Harhar. Would you stop?" Tracey groaned, covering his face. "At this rate, I'm not even going to be able to announce my engagement without passing out from embarrassment."

Misty didn't miss a beat. "Oh, buck up Tracey, you know that-" her face fell, "Wait, you're what?" Misty's breath was nearly knocked completely out of her chest and she stood tall with her arms crossing.

"I wasn't supposed to say that." Tracey spoke quickly whilst covering his mouth, he was always the air-headed nice guy, couldn't keep a secret if his life was on the line. That explained his weirdness around Misty, and his neglectfulness to talk with her or visit the gym the last couple of months.

"What do you mean you weren't supposed to? Why hasn't Daisy told me?" Misty interrogated, stepping in closer to Tracey, her good mood suddenly deflated.

"Well...she, we, haven't told anyone yet. With everyone traveling all the time, it's too hard to get a hold of everyone." His nervous nature only drew on Misty's nerves and so she was too quick to draw his reason out on the table.

"So you were going to announce it here?" Her voice pitched aggressively, as if suggesting why he would even think that was a good idea.

"Yeah...I mean, no one is going to be together again like this in a long time. I thought now would be the perfect time."

"But today is Ash's big day." Misty added, which caused Tracey to give her a puzzled look. Misty thought that with Ash's victory already overshadowed by the media hounding his relationship rather than his battling techniques, the last thing he needed was someone's engagement thwarting his party. The last thing he needed was someone else stomping on his celebration of said already-downplayed victory as a league champion.

"I'm sure Ash wouldn't mind." Tracey started, and then lowered one eyebrow at Misty. "Do..do you still like him, Misty?" Tracey asked almost smirking as he did, acting as if he knew that was her reason for being against the idea; but Misty was prepared for this. With much of her practice coming into play, she carefully rolled her eyes and glared at Tracey. She then motioned toward Ash, who she caught staring, and then back at Tracey. Whether she liked him or not had nothing to do with this. Even if she didn't have special, weird feelings for the boy, she would have still stood up for Ash.

"Did you ask him? He's pretty confused already about his own victory being overshadowed by his new relationship." she said matter-of-fact.

Tracey didn't need to be told anymore and he shrugged in response, defeated at her words; he hadn't even thought about that. "I didn't even think." Tracey admitted sorrowfully, and Misty pat him on the shoulder carefully.

"That's okay, it's exciting news... that I should have known about, but I think you should wait." Misty advised him—and it was good advice, because with Ash's already freshly mixed up emotions, he might very well just turn into a giant ball of intense panic and then implode. The last thing he needed to worry about was the fact that not only was he confused, but that he was old enough to get married now—an idea he probably hadn't even thought about thinking about. As if Tracey were on the exact same thought she was, he looked at her with accepting eyes and shook his head gently.

"You always were the smart one." he admitted and then chuckled. "but do you?"

Misty seemed taken aback. "Do I what?" She asked, and Tracey grinned as Ash was escorted out of the room by May, with Serena on their heels.

"Like Ash still?"

"Of course. He's my best friend." Misty admitted with a confident smile. She wouldn't give him anymore than that. He crossed his arms and nodded, accepting the battle of wits.

"But are you still in love with him?"

"Love is such a strong word." Misty added and narrowed her eyes mockingly. "Are you in love with my sister?"

"Of course I am. Are you to Ash, like I'm with Daisy?" Tracey offered, cocking his jaw, but Misty tilted her head.

"I wouldn't say that's the same thing. Ash is taken."

"You're difficult, you know that?" He shoved her on the arm gently and smiled. His voice took on a worried tone, "Regardless, are you?"

Misty couldn't help but smile at Tracey's remark, her teeth showing beneath her pink lips made her feel like a little kid again. Gary had asked her this question only moments ago, and her entire reaction was different. She grinned rather than getting defensive with her long time friend.

Since her talk with Ash outside, she couldn't help but feel that maybe, not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but maybe some day Ash would see Misty for everything she was; and not just as a friend. Tracey was one of her friends that she used to spend hours with at the gym joking about her impending and time consuming, imaginary love affair with Ash. Aside from Tracey and Brock, and apparently Gary, no one else knew about her feelings. She would joke that one day, Ash would realize how amazing she was, and swoop in dramatically to save her from the dull gym. The jokes, however, grew less frequent the more that Misty waited alone. A brief glimmer of sadness crossed her eyes before being replaced with one of delight. After that talk, however, it didn't seem as hopeless. She raised her fingers to her mouth thoughtfully, and look down at her shuffling feet.

"I think I d-"

"That Witch!" She heard Serena yell from the kitchen and Misty's face went pale. Something bad was happening. Her inflated mood, swinging laughter and contagious smile died as quickly as Tracey's as she slowly turned at the stomps coming from down the hall. Serena had scaled the hallway, and the living room in such a short time, that Misty wasn't able to turn fully until Serena was calling her name and.

SMACK

Right on the face.

And that's what lead her here, kneeling on the pier holding her stomach and inhaling and exhaling harshly; her voice growing harsher the more she tried to regain control of her situation and emotions. She clawed horribly at her tank top, huddling over as her forehead nearly touched the wooden deck.

For a brief moment when her happy situation was turned upside down, she was nothing but a floating spectator. She watched from an aerial view how she pushed Serena down, screamed, glared at Ash, and then took off.

It was like a hurricane of raw emotions all at once, and the worst feeling yet was that she could feel it pounding back in her chest like a rapid dog ripping at her flesh. She hiccuped, and looked forward to stare at the crashing waves in the darkness. For so many years, months; she kept it pulled together. Every piece of her was neat and tidy. Her battling was pristine, her gym was immaculate, everything about Misty was supposed to be this together adult. Yet, here she was. Even after all of the talks, all of the support; the maturity and grace that she damn near faked all day. She was here, sitting alone at the pier, staring out into the darkness of the fading sun. She shook violently, the stinging ache of her cheek chilling her to the bone as a fresh pool of tears started to cascade from her eyes.

This was a real shit storm.

Help out, Brock said, Misty was the only one that understood her feelings, he said. She could help the other girls, he said. Yeah, Misty helped 'a lot'. Who was she kidding about 'being in love' with Ash? Her body lurched forward, dry heaving. "Fight for Ash" Gary said. Man, she was really just setting herself up for failure; and the worst feeling of all was that she, while having not done anything as drastic as May, felt she deserved to get slapped.

Serena was, unfortunately, the only one who deserved to feel isolated and pissed off. With the way that Ash was acting, Misty would have probably done much worse if she was in the blonde's shoes. The gym-leader's face scrunched up as she spat to clear her scratchy throat. Mew, Misty felt horrible. Helping Ash when she should have been helping Serena. What was she doing? It was probably fate that Serena slapped her at that moment, admitting to herself that she still loved Ash even though he was taken.

Oh...oh boy. She wiped at her eyes with her bare wrists, smearing her black mascara onto her cheeks and arms, only weeping harder. She loved Ash. There was no mistaking it. That feeling pounding in the back of her chest was undoubtedly guilt—the euphoric message that she wanted someone who was off limits. That she wished that she was the one who was brave enough to kiss Ash, not May. While she may not have done it, she wanted to. Secretly, she wanted nothing more than to see Serena fall on her face. That hadn't changed, no matter how much she told herself otherwise. No matter how nice Serena was, no matter her good characteristics, no matter her relationship. Misty would never like Serena.

Unfortunately, Serena stole Ash. Even though Ash was never Misty's to steal away to begin with. She hiccuped again as the sun finally curved beneath the horizon, shading her face as she slumped. Worst of all, she told him not even an hour ago to be careful. Yet, here she was.

"Misty," Gary's deep voice tore into her immediate sadness and train of thought, followed by the warmth of his black over-coat being dropped over her shoulders. Shuddering at the sight of Misty weeping, he took a seat beside her, crossed his legs and hunched forward. She didn't look at him, as if she were ashamed to do so. Nearly forcing herself to stop crying in a matter of seconds.

"Jeeze, Mist. I don't think I've ever seen you cry before."

"Don't call me that!" She hissed between sobs, effectively ending Gary's speech. Mist was the nickname Ash used. Selectively, the only person to use it beside him was Brock. It wasn't something she was used to hearing from anyone else, and hearing it now only phased her into tremors while she covered her face with her hands.

Gary chose to remain silent after that, waiting for the tears to stop themselves before he chose to speak again. After nearly five minutes had passed, Misty's uncontrollable sobs had turned into a whimper, that eventually faded into a distant sigh, until she stopped all together. Sitting calmly with her hands folded over her thighs, she collapsed backwards to stare up at the sky, startling Gary who thought she had passed out.

"Are you alright?" he asked suddenly mouth jarring but when he saw Misty's determined eye face the sky, he knew that she would be. If not now, then eventually.

"No." Misty exhaled honestly, placing her wrist against her forehead. He waited for her to add another comment, but when she didn't, he swallowed.

"What happened in there?"

Misty glowered, narrowing her eyes as she sat up, almost hitting Gary with her head as she maneuvered to sit cross legged like him.

"Honestly? I'm not sure. May kissed Ash, I think, Serena got pissed and blamed me. I got slapped, and booked it. What else could I have done in that situation? Everyone was staring at me."

"...Could have decked her." Gary assured the red-head, but that was only met with a scowl.

"She had every right to get mad."

He snorted, "At you? How do you figure that?"
"It's like you said. A part of me still deeply cares for Ash, and I'm not sure I haven't been trying to subconsciously ruin their relationship." She said bitterly.

"If you've been trying, I didn't notice. It seemed to me like you were fully supporting it."
"Yeah, on the outside." She muttered, pulling at a loose string on his jacket sleeve. While normally she would have returned the jacket without a second thought and excused herself. She needed to talk to someone, and Gary was available. So talking she did.

She continued, "The answer is no. I don't want to fight for Ash, Gary." Misty said certainly, "I never wanted to fight for Ash. Win him over someone else." she paused to inhale, "I wanted him to realize that he liked me. I don't want to have to hurt other people for him to acknowledge that. What kind of relationship would that even be?"

It was a rhetorical question, of course, so Gary didn't have to answer, instead he said: "...Have you ever considered moving on?"
"I've tried."

"I mean dating other people." Gary asked awkwardly, as if cutting to the point quick enough that Misty looked at him.

"...No, actually. I can't remember the last time I went on a date with the intention of making a boyfriend out of it. That's if I ever have." She admit sardonically while pulling her knees up to her chest and putting her chin on them. She added, "Not for lack of trying. I just don't click with anyone."

"Because you're not over Ash?"

"I thought I was, honestly." Misty said dejectedly, looking up at the stars half hidden behind clouds, thoughtfully, she added; "But honestly, I've been waiting a long time for Ash to have some symbolic resonance of feelings for me, and I think a part of me just wasn't ready to move past the idea that he could have feelings for me, you know? Tonight, right before all of this, he actually asked me for advice about Serena, and while I didn't want to get in the way—it sounds like he already knows that he doesn't want to date her. On top of that, he doesn't understand why he was upset about our kiss."

She looked away briefly and blinked slowly, "So...I think I let myself believe for a moment that Ash and Serena weren't really a thing, and that Ash would finally realize that I've always been here, waiting for him and then..." She touched her face and cracked a dull smirk.

"I guess reality hit me pretty hard, huh?" She smiled sadly at Gary, and was amazed to see that Gary's hazel eyes were patiently trained on her own. He didn't smile for her, or make a snide comment, in fact, he sat quietly and then looked to the ocean thoughtfully.

"It's important not to blame yourself. You could wish all you want that Ash would open his eyes and see you, but so long as you never acted on that, do you really need to blame yourself?"

"May kissed Ash to see if the feelings she had were real. That's how Serena deduced that her feelings were real. Maybe I should have just kissed Ash and called it a day."
"You already know that you love Ash, May wasn't sure. She made a mistake. We all make mistakes." Gary admit, as if referring to himself as well.

"Is that why you kissed me?" Misty shoved him hard on the arm, causing Gary to chuckle, "Because you wanted to know if you really liked me?" She laughed with an eye roll, but when he didn't respond right away, and silence was funneled between them, Misty looked at him with very sincere, apologetic eyes.

"Oh no.. Gary, I didn't..." She said, but when she went to apologize, Gary raised his hand to silence her and shrugged his shoulders.

"Spare me the apology. I knew what I was walking into; we can't all be oblivious to romantic emotion like Ash." Gary said while resting his elbow on his knee and smiling up at her.

She sighed and looked forward, "How in the world, Gary? Me, really?"

"I thought it was weird at first, too. But unlike you and Ash, I have unfortunately dated many people in my life, and I like you the most, even now."

"That's sweet," She cooed causing Gary to sigh.

"I just wish that you knew there was more out there than Ash." His dejected tone of voice made her lips purse.

"I could say the same to you." Misty said while chuckling, feeling the conversation turning gawky.

"I've seen what else the world has to offer." Gary said smirking, unable to look at her as a blush covered his cheek. Misty sighed, wanting to giggle at his aloof nature. Gary getting embarrassed over any girl was funny enough; over her just made twice as much ammo.

"How long?"

"Oh, that's a tough question." Gary said while tapping his lips. "Probably since you said 'If I cried every time Ash lost a battle, I would be waterlogged'." He grinned toothily at her, and Misty slapped her forehead, finally letting out a short, tired laugh.

"Oh god, that was so long ago!"

"That was when I realized you weren't like other girls. You wouldn't degrade yourself to improve other people. You have a sense of pride unlike-"

"Stop Gary." Misty said putting up her hand, "It will never happen."

A little irritated by her immediate rejection, he fought the urge to grumble as he spoke; "Why not?"

"Because it wouldn't work." Misty assured him, and Gary pursed his lips.

"How do you know that?" after his question, Misty narrowed her eyes at him.

"I just do."

"You don't know that. We could be great together."

Misty raised her eyebrows knowingly. She knew that her and Gary's personalities were too...well, actually, she couldn't think of a good excuse aside from the fact that she just didn't feel that way about him. Plus, he was egotistic alas not nearly as bad as he was eight years ago, looking at him sometimes made her mouth go sour, so dating was out of the question. "I can't. Not right now. I'm sorry." She assured him, and Gary shrugged.

"I already knew that answer, but it doesn't hurt to clear the air, does it?"

"Are you implying something?" she smirked.
"No, I'm not heavily implying that you should be the one to set Ash straight, no." He returned her smirk with one of his own.

She glared because of the sarcastic tone of his voice, and then Gary grinned at her in that better-than-thou way that made her skin crawl and want to pull on his face. She chewed on her words for a moment, and then finally Gary exhaled.

"Misty, I know you want to just back out of this and let whatever happens, happen. But like I said before, I honestly think this nonsensical crap about 'protecting' the girls should end, and you need to tell Ash what's going on. I mean, you've been trying to let things sort themselves out, let him sort his own life out, and while it's noble, look at how well it's going." He used his hands to make air quotation marks and rolled his eyes before staring back at her green eyes. "Sometimes, you have to be an egotistical bastard like me, and just fucking scream what you're thinking to the world, and force everyone to listen. By everyone, I mean Ash."

Flabbergasted, Misty glared at Gary. His advice was uncanny, but so very.. Damn it, why did he have to be so forthcoming? "What am I supposed to say to him, Gary?" she finally snarled.

"How about 'open your eyes, you don't like Serena, I have liked you for the longest time, and you need to figure out who you like or don't like and let everyone know that is your solution'? I mean really, this whole situation could have been avoided if someone told him to make his relationship with Serena a public announcement in which he said he actually liked her and only her. And if he couldn't do that, he didn't need to date her. No confusion at all. Ash chose Serena, boom, everyone else has to move on regardless of their feelings for him."

Misty couldn't help herself, she cracked a smile at his blunt, yet honest belief system and shook her head. "It's a little bit more complicated than that now. I think some friendships are going to need to be repaired."

"Which is why the longer you wait, the worse it will get."

"...He should know how to fix this himself though..." Misty said sadly, and Gary shook his head.

"Ash has grown up in a lot of ways. Romantically, he's still ten. He needs help and its to the point that if you or Brock don't step in, I'm going to."

Misty rolled her eyes for what felt like the billionth time that day, and stared at him none-to-impressed. Recalling what Brock had told her; it was like she had Brock, the angel on her left shoulder, telling her to let Ash figure it out and be patient, and Gary, the devil on her right shoulder telling her to fix the problem herself and to hell with anyone that said otherwise. She huffed, "You were the reason that this drama started you know. When you kissed me."

"I had to know. I just had to know." Gary grinned sarcastically, "Besides, it started the moment you walked into the house."

"You are such a hypocrite." She shook her head while slowly standing up. Gary followed suit, agreeing without words that it was time to find a final solution for this horrible, horrible situation.

"Last question, Gary. Well, a few.." She raised her fist and started to lift fingers while she spoke; "Why help me? And Why do I have to be the person to say it to him?"

Gary shoved his hands into his pockets and looked upward at the sky. His jaw clenched; "Let's just say...that when you, Misty Waterflower, speak, Ash always listens. Regardless if he admits to it or not."

Vague answers were vague. Misty sighed while rubbing her forehead, "I would kill for a shot right now." she laughed nervously, causing Gary to smile back at her.

"...I'll take you up on that."

She hesitated, "Really?"

"There's a nice place just down town." he pointed a little ways past the dock and Misty gave and half-smirk and nodded sheepishly.

"Well, there really isn't a point in stirring the pot tonight, everyone is probably still frazzled... It would be best to wait until everyone has rested." She argued to herself while tossing his jacket back at him. "Alright, Gary. It's a date."