Spitfire, Chapter 18: It starts with an earthquake
The night was finished off rather quickly upon the disbandment of the living room. After an hour, when Misty and Gary hadn't returned, even after the new-couple, Drew and May did (though they hadn't told anyone officially yet). Ash decided to call it a night himself. Dawn and Brock spent nearly an hour coaxing all the information that happened over the last two weeks out of him—drawing the same blurred lines that Misty recited to him earlier that evening. Dawn especially asked a million questions about the events; while Brock tried to remain vigilant that Ash was dating Serena, and should simply apologize.
While he sat at the dinning room table sneering at his cup of hot chocolate while he listened to the sounds of his friends go about their own business, the last thing he wanted to do was apologize or explain his situation. Quite frankly, he was already tired of it all. Thinking that if relationships were this complicated, why bother? He slid the mug away from him while listening eagerly into the kitchen beside him. May was in there right now, with Serena whom was baking a cake with Bonnie. He pulled on his fingerless gloves several times while listening to the girls speak.
May kept apologizing, but Serena kept insisting that it was okay. Ash had no idea what happened on the back porch while he was in his bedroom being half scolded, but when Serena reappeared, it was as if nothing had happened. She wasn't mad at may, in fact, she apologized to May right in front of Ash.
"Stop apologizing, I understand that you were confused." Serena had said before hugging the brunette; that of course, wasn't good enough for May who still felt like crap, and so the older trainer followed Serena around asking continuously if she was, "sure" that she wasn't "mad". Ash stood up after May brought it up the eighth time, and exited the dinning room. He couldn't take listening to them anymore. While Serena seemed so forgiving of May, she hadn't spoken a single word to Ash; she hadn't even bothered to look at him.
But, what who was he to judge? He didn't blame her, in fact; the last thing she should do is forgive him. He was a terrible boyfriend. He crossed his arms while leaning up against the railing of the stairs, contemplating once again going into the kitchen. It was quite possible that Serena was waiting for him to speak first, but the problem was that he didn't know what to say.
Really, where did he start? Sorry, May kissed me, it wasn't my fault. But while I'm at it, I'm sorry I've been really air headed the last couple of days. Also, I'm sorry I don't like you the same way that you like me. That's alright, right?
He sighed while scratching his forehead. He could hear Pikachu playing in the living room, at least trying to, the yellow pokemon had laid on Ash's stomach the whole time he mopped in his bedroom about how all females were crazy. Dutifully, however, Ash let Pikachu do his own thing, but in reality, all Ash wanted to do was collect Pikachu, say his goodbyes and simply be done with it. Ash didn't blame Misty for leaving, if it wasn't his party and if it wouldn't result in everyone scolding him for the rest of his life, he would have left right along with her. While he slumped forward slightly, exhaling, his heart sank.
Misty had left a little over two hours ago, it was nearly 11:00o'clock now, and she had no appearance, no phone call. Worst of all, she left with Gary; but Ash couldn't deduce why that bothered him so much, and he was too tired to think about it. He had done enough thinking today to last him the rest of his life, and his head ached because of it. He groaned while letting his arms fall beside him. How horrible was he, asking about Misty when his girlfriend was in the kitchen distraught about tings he couldn't control. It was not his fault May was crazy.
It wasn't, was it?
"Hey, Ash." May offered timidly, emerging from the kitchen while shutting the door behind her. She approached who leaned against the railing and offered him a slight smile.
"Hey, May." he said, sub-consciously taking a step away from the brunette. Just to be safe.
When she returned earlier, she was covered head to toe in dirt and mud, so was Drew; and had Ash been feeling more or less like himself, he might have made a comment about it—but after dealing with the stress his relationship caused, the last thing he wanted to do was ask someone else about theirs.
"Any luck with Serena?" she asked subtly, tucking her hands behind her back. She was clean now, showered once she arrived at the Ketchum Residence, she also had her leg wrapped by Brock and looked to be able to stand on her own now. As they spoke, Drew was in the shower.
"None. She won't even look at me." He said awkwardly, shuffling his feet whilst May looked down.
She cast her eyes to the floor, "I'm really sorry about everything...I know that doesn't help but..."
"I'm not upset," Ash deduced quickly, raising his hand, "Confused as hell why you would kiss me, but not upset in the slightest, May. Don't apologize to me." He paused awkwardly, looking at her smile. He pointed accusingly.
"Just...uh, don't do it again."
She frowned playfully at this, scrunching up her nose and then leered at him; "You don't have to worry about that. I don't fancy incest."
"Oh thank god, that's what you thought, too?"
"That's not weird, is it?" May asked sheepishly, turning a shade of red.
"I don't think so. But it begs the question why you did it." He said objectively, watching May's face fall.
"Oh...you really want an answer for that..." While scratching her face with her index finger she mumbled and looked away from him. "it's silly, really." She offered but Ash scoffed.
"I'm all ears." He suggested, garnering an awkward cough from the coordinator.
"Well, err.." she grumbled while fidgeting her hands together, unable to make eye contact, "I sort of did it, to uh...well, you know, see if I liked you."
Ash deadpanned, "You couldn't have just asked?"
May looked deeply shocked by his accusation and laughed nervously, "I honestly hadn't thought about that. Plus I was nervous." She admit with a sheepish grin. Ash almost lost his balance and fell over, save for the table beside him.
He took a moment to recover, and then crossed his arms and sighed; "I guess it doesn't matter. Something was bound to go wrong eventually." May frowned, the tone of his voice was so defeated; he was really down in the dumps.
"I think you should go talk to Serena, I'm sure she will understand."
Ash scoffed, "And tell her what, exactly?"
"That you're sorry?"
"For what? I didn't make you kiss me." he said while pointing at May, who looked stand-offish.
May looked taken aback and blinked at him. "Ash, don't you want to make up with Serena?" She asked suddenly, eyes full of worry, abut Ash's eyes told another story as he firmly looked away, casting his eyes downward.
May's throat filled with mirth, "Ash, if you don't like her, you should tell her."
He looked up at her with big, shameful brown eyes and his eyebrows knit together: "I'm not sure that I don't."
"Well you need to get sure and fix everything." She said sharply, drawing his attention to her blue eyes. May folded her arms determined.
"So not it's my fault that all females are crazy?" He scowled at May, getting a scowl in return.
"No, but it's pretty obvious that-"
"May stop, okay? I've already had three people scolding me, I don't need to hear it again." He said grudgingly, kicking himself off of the wall, "I'm not mad at you...just, leave me alone for now, okay?"
May watched him walk away and down to the kitchen, holding her hand above her heart and giving out a silent prayer that whatever was happening with Ash, he would be able to find a solution the same as she did. Her face flushed red thinking about Drew and she stumbled up the stairs to where Dawn was sitting, listening to the whole conversation between Ash and May.
She looked exceptionally bored, sitting with her knees up in a pink nightgown with fuzzy white slippers and gray sweats. Her elbow was propped neatly onto her knee and she cupped her face with her hand while she watched May walk up the stairs. Thankfully, she didn't glare, but she looked deep in thought herself.
"Ash is taking it pretty harsh." Dawn echoed while listening to Delia and Brock prepare the guest bedrooms. "To make matters worse, Misty isn't back yet."
May wasn't sure what to offer in return, so she pursed her lips and offered a small shrug of her shoulders. She, too, was wearing her pajamas, but they were a black tank top and green baggy pants. They weren't nearly as fancy as Dawn's and were the definition of traveling pajamas.
"Does Delia know yet?" May decided while nudging her head toward the nose of sheets beeing pulled over spare beds.
"Not yet, I don't think. We told her we were reenacting a scene from Journey Stories." May sniggered at this, but it only made her heart feel heavier as she slumped to sit on the top stare beside Dawn. She touched her forehead and exhaled; here she was, happy with Drew, after thwarting the rest of her friends lives.
"I really screwed up." May confined in Dawn, who pursed her lips in response.
"Yeah, you did." She coaxed carefully, presenting a dazzling, sarcastic smile "You managed to break Ash up, get Misty slapped, and set an aura of uncomfortableness and then start dating someone else in under two hours. I'm sure that's a record somewhere." Dawn laughed playfully, though May could hear a bit of uncertainty and discomfort in her tone; she decided not to press the issue.
Instead, her face turned red. "How did you know about...? You know." she narrowed one eye at Dawn, who shrugged.
"Well, I wasn't positive until just now. But tell him to go a little easy on the hickies next time, too." she laughed in spite of herself, and May covered her face with her hands, embarrassed at first before trying to cover her neck with her hair. She hissed frantically, only making Dawn laugh harder.
"I wonder if Ash and Serena will work things out." Dawn said suddenly, pulling May away from her embarrassment. Her eyes narrowed slightly upon looking at Dawn's face. The blue-haired female reflected gloom in her eyes, but May wasn't sure how to go about questioning it.
"Yeah..Serena said it was okay, but..." May sighed, "I'm not sure Ash wants to fix it."
Dawn looked at May, half-smiling, "I don't think so, either." Dawn faced Ash again while he sauntered around the kitchen door, breathing loudly.
"After he told Brock and I everything that happened over the last week, I'm surprised he hasn't exploded yet."
"He told you everything?"
"Yeah he did," Dawn said matter-of-fact, and then the same discomfort crossed her face as last time, "and it's pretty obvious that his confusion spans from the fact that he is madly in love with someone else."
May blinked twice, "With who?" she asked while her eyebrows knit together in thought. Dawn grinned in response, trying to drown the discomfort with a cheery expression. She raised her index finger.
"It's a surprise!" Her forced grin put may into a pout and she folded her arms, about to speak next when Tracey's voice echoed down the hallway below.
"What are you girls talking about?" Tracey poked his head around the corner of the stairs and looked up to the top with a questioning gaze, leering their conversation downward. Max followed him around, they were both holding pokemon gears, exchanging information when Max had a gleam cover his eyes.
"You were gone an awfully long time, May. What were you and Drew doing?" He suggested with a wiggling eyebrow, changing the subject.
"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" May shouted a little robust, throwing her gloves that at her brother's head while he started to make kiss-y noises and flee.
The sudden noise and hearing May rush down the stairs brought movement and life back into Ash's legs once again and he stepped into the kitchen, swinging the door open before he could back out. His breath left his lungs while he stared into the bright room. Serena was standing at the table, applying generously strawberry icing over a vanilla cake, with Bonnie besides her with flour over her cheeks. They immediately looked up together, watching Ash with big eyes while he cleared his throat.
"...uhh.. Can we talk?" Ash spoke while coughing, he eyed Bonnie and gave a sort of nod to the younger girl who smiled back up at Ash, and then at Serena. She pat Serena on the arm before slipping out of her chair and around the table.
"Play nice, okay?" She looked up at her friends receiving a nod in return, and then eagerly made her way out of the kitchen, shutting the door behind her. Ash swallowed hard while he looked into Serena's blue eyes. She offered him a slow smile, and continued to frost the cake, keeping her hands busy.
"What did you want to talk about, Ash?" She asked suddenly catching Ash off guard. Her tone was so sweet it made his stomach churn slightly. He moved forward to press his fingertips against the table top, repeating in his head over and over to stay calm.
"I uh, I don't know how to start this." He nervously rubbed the back of his head, and upon hearing his anxiety, Serena placed her icing bag down and dusted her hands off on her apron.
"Then let me start;" She looked him dead in the eye and sucked in air. Ash had no idea what she thought about when she was outside; either a generous way to kill him, or a way to torture him until he died. Either way, he was sure he would die; that was until her next comment; "I'm sorry."
For a moment, he stared at her, mouth open until he snapped his head and blinked furiously at her, "what?" was all he could manage.
"I'm sorry...Listen, I had a little while to think about this, and I guess I just didn't want to accept what was going on...but..." She rounded the table to stand beside him, carefully slipping his hand into hers. He wanted to pull away, but something about her tone told him otherwise.
"I understand now why you have been acting so funny...and I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you the way that I did at the championship. I know how much it bothers you that your battle was overlooked because of our kiss..." She stammered up, looking up at him with water in her eyes. He swallowed hard and shook his head.
"it wasn't that Serena." he offered, but in reality, that was at least a part of the reason. She shook her head.
"Please, let me finish," She paused, "I used my lips when I should have used my voice to tell you that I liked you. Instead I assumed that you felt the same way and just kissed you. I wasn't really thinking when I did it, and I was just as surprised as you were. I just didn't want our friendship to end because of it, you know?" She looked up at Ash, who responded with a curt nod.
She continued, "but a part of me wishes that instead of letting me hang on, you would have just said you didn't feel the same way as I do." She hiccuped slightly as sobs started to form in the back of her throat, her own words were breaking her heart. Ash tried not to feel the same sting, but it was there, like something punched him in the gut. He reached out his hand to place it firmly against her shoulder, causing her to look up.
"I'm really sorry I didn't say anything, Serena. I just didn't know how." He confirmed honestly, but the sad smile that Serena crossed him with only made his relief drown him. Inhaling sharply, she turned quickly away from him wiping her eyes with her knuckles and breathing deeply. For a moment, silence washed between them, but Ash remained statuesque for his friend.
She huffed after a few minutes and Ash retracted his hands into his pockets. He didn't know what to do with himself. Sitting seemed like a bad idea, but standing made his head dizzy.
"Are you positive you don't feel anything for me?" She asked while slowly turning to face him now that her tears were gone.
Thoughtfully, Ash looked her over once, and inhaled briefly, looking off to the side nervously. These were all great questions that he still didn't have an answer for. Sure, he felt something for Serena, but was it that magical feeling that he was supposed to have. Hell, would Ash ever feel that way about someone?
"...I, uh..." he rubbed his neck as a nervous habit, and then brought his hand through his hair while he looked up at her, "I'm not in love with you Serena." he finally placed the words correctly, echoing May's words in his head.
She inhaled, and then closed her eyes, "But you like me." She said matter-of-fact. Ash's confidence faltered slightly.
"Err... well, yeah, I guess. I mean, you're one of my best friends." He stammered uncomfortably, getting a sigh of relief from Serena. He panicked inwardly.
"So...someday you might, you know..." She said while casting her eyes down as a trickle of pink covered her cheeks. Serena's affection for Ash did start as a simple crush, maybe it wasn't too late for Ash's to turn into something else as well. She thought happily about it, but Ash was the opposite.
No, no no no. he echoed in his head, but his words reverberated otherwise. "I mean, I can't make any absolutes..." He offered, which was true. He couldn't say that he would never love Serena, technically, some day, anything could happen. Reality speaking, he didn't love anyone except for his mother, and the person who invented waffles, but what ever. Her smile made him force one over his own lips and he took a step back to be sure.
She exhaled sharply, determination filling her eyes; "I'm not ready to give up on you, Ash. I pushed to quickly, but I would like to restart by saying that we're great together. I want to get back to that; and dating shouldn't change us."
Ash's face scrunched up, recalling all the times he dodged calling her a girlfriend, the times he flat out rejected touching her, hugging her, or etc, or even the times that he refused to kiss her—not even starting the fact that he was having fluffy feelings for Misty, and that May kissed him. He swallowed hard.
"You still want to date me even after everything that's happened?" Ash asked, slightly dejected.
"Yes." Serena said glumly, looking down at the cake, she fiddled with the icing bag and looked sideways. "I love you, Ash."
His face turned beet red; and the little ears behind the door let out a gasp. The spying Bonnie's face turned red as well, as if she were hearing a soap. Ash cleared his throat and his heart raced slightly. Was that the feeling he was supposed to have?
"And you might not love me right now, but someday, I think you'll realize that we're meant to be! So while I am sorry that I pressured you into this, I'm not sorry for telling you." Her face had turned an earthly shade of red, surpassing the color of the strawberries on the table entirely. Ash had to take a step back to prepare himself. He had no idea what proper the lady. In fact, he was drawing a blank and almost wished that Serena had started to scream at him instead of this; hell, even crying would be better. He would have kindly accepted either one, but Serena wasn't that kind of girl. She never would be.
"Serena...I..I uh.." He grumbled, rubbing his neck nervously but Serena raised her cooking spoon at him, launching some left over batter at his face that he dodged tediously. Serena had slowly started to approach with a smile.
"Don't answer right now. I want you to think about it." Ash groaned inwardly at her words; more thinking? He was going to have an aneurism at this rate. She leaned forward again, nearly pecking him on the lips and effectively killing his blush. He blinked once at her; her blue eyes full of so much raw emotion.
"Will you do one thing for me?" she asked, only inches away from his face. His eyebrows knit together precarious, watching her lips like they were a rapid pokemon.
"What's that?"
"Will you kiss me, just this once?" Her breath touched his lips, making shivers run down his spine.
"...err, why?"
"To give you something to think about." She added, getting closer, if that were possible. Ash gulped, unsure about how to go about this; and so he figured mentally. What could it hurt? Maybe kissing her would be different?
His face scrunched up, and he questioned if this was how May felt only a couple hours ago. Carefully, he grabbed her by the upper arms, and then leaned in to kiss her proper; turning red from his neck to his forehead. It was a bit rough, by no means gentle; and from the inexperienced lips of Ash Ketchum, a little sloppy. She didn't bother to wrap her hands around his neck, in fact, she left them limp at her sides until they separated. Cautiously, he removed his hands from her upper arms, and took a few steps back. Unsettled with the kiss. He inhaled but when he went to speak those words; his mouth fell short seeing the pleading look in her eyes.
Before he could think about it, she smiled happily, "See, I wont give up." She said happily, causing Ash to blink several times. He lurched back and coughed.
"Am I really worth this much trouble?"
"And much, much more" she replied sweetly before rounding the table again to finish her cake, "I mean, if I don't give this my all now, I will regret it forever." She blinked up at him, and that uncomfortable feeling; the rocks forming in his stomachs came back and he exhaled.
"What if by the end of this, I don't feel the same way?" He asked out loud but his words didn't affect Serena.
"Until you can tell me you've found someone else, I will always be here for you. That's all that matters." Her kind tone, her nurturing personality, it was all something to be admired, but Ash wanted to run the other direction. Maybe Serena did want to get married. He swallowed hard, unsure of what to say next; luckily, she did.
"Want to help me finish the cake? You can have the frosting bags."
His face brightened up and a grin returned to his features. "Would I ever?" He commented while making his way to grab the frosting bag that Bonnie was using previously. While there was much to think about, feelings to sort out; right now, he wanted a break. There was always tomorrow to find a solution to his problem.
Outside of the door, a nosy Bonnie took a step back and folded her arms. Serena had mentioned when Clemont and Bonnie were outside consoling her that she wasn't positive that she rushed in to things with Ash; not only that, but it was pretty clear that Ash had some repressed feelings for a certain someone else that she wouldn't name. Knowing this, Bonnie couldn't phantom why Serena would keep trying with the dark haired boy. Bonnie smiled sadly, Serena must have really liked him.
"I didn't expect that." Dawn echoed Bonnie's feelings, startling Bonnie, who nearly jumped out of her skin upon hearing Dawn's voice beside her. She had no idea that the older trainer was hovering above her. Dawn grinned slightly and raised her thumb to her chin in thought.
"This just got really interesting!" She sang while taking a few steps back, she paused for a moment as if having a thought of her own and then grinned. Tomorrow would begin Phase 1 of Dawn's Mission Impossible.