The knocking on the hatch made Erin shiver. So, it was now… Sam would meet his son, Nate would meet his dad. Gods, she wished things didn't have to be like that. She wished she had been less selfish and just told him right away…
Erin sighed and looked in the mirror before opening the hatch – she wanted to make sure she didn't look as nervous as she felt. She glanced at Nate, who was sitting by the table coloring a draw in all his innocence, completely oblivious to the situation that was about to take place. Then, she approached the cabin's entrance and opened it, seeing Sam standing there right away.
"Hey," she murmured. He didn't look as mad as before. Probably spending the past hour by himself allowed him to cool down. The nervousness was clear in his face; he didn't even try to hide it. "Come on in," she said, getting out of his way.
Sam entered silently, looking at the floor. The anticipation was killing him… Would the kid like him? Why would he, anyway? He was just a stranger… "Nice place," he said, just to break the silence.
She raised an eyebrow. "It's a good place to live in, close to the life station. Not many people pass through this hallway 'cause it only has living cabins…" Erin replied, pretending she didn't know he hadn't looked at anything but the floor. She signaled him to follow her and took him closer to the table where their son was drawing. "Nate, can you come here for a while?"
The little boy looked up to his mother and hopped out of his chair, approaching her. "What happened, Mommy?" he asked.
"I just wanted to introduce you to someone." She lifted him from the floor to her arms and turned him to Sam. "This is…" she stopped, wondering what he was to her these days. "This is Mommy's friend, Sam." Then, she looked at Sam. "This little guy here is Nate." Our son, she added in her mind.
Sam observed the little boy carefully. Erin was right – he had his eyes and his hair. But apart from that there was a lot of Erin in his face. That little boy was his. Suddenly, a wave of pride invaded him. He really was a dad.
"Hi," Nate shyly greeted his father, unaware of that fact. He always acted shy when he first met people…
"Hi," Sam replied.
There was silence for a few moments with the two just staring at each other. Then, Erin had an idea to break the ice. "Sam is a viper pilot, you know?" she told her son, putting him back on the floor.
The little boy's eyes opened in excitement. "Really?" He stared at Sam, instantly fascinated. "You fly vipers?"
"Yeah, I do," Sam lowered himself to his son's eye level.
Erin decided it was best to give them some alone time. "I'm going to the room to do some… cleaning. If you need something…" When she finished the sentence, Nate was already dragging his father to the table in order to show him his draw, so she just left with a small smile playing on her face.
"Is this what a viper looks like?" Nate asked, pointing at the draw.
The kid has the ability to put everyone at ease around him, Sam thought, looking at the draw. It looked more like a white and red rocket with a window and someone inside. But then again, he was three. "It's pretty close," he assured his son.
"Mommy's friend, Kara, showed me a viper the other day," the little boy told him. "You know Kara? She's a pilot too. Mommy says she's the cat."
"Yeah, I know her," Sam confirmed, feeling a little awkward speaking about his ex with his son. "And she's the CAG, not the cat. Means Kara the pilot's boss. She's my teacher you know?"
"Teacher?" Nate asked in confusion. Now grownups also needed teachers?
"Yeah, you can't fly a viper without learning how to do it first," he explained. "She's the one who teaches us how to fly. I'm still kind of new at this; I used to play pyramid before."
Nate's fascination for this new friend grew even more. "You played pyramid?" he asked in the most excited tone Sam had ever heard. Erin was right before. The kid loved him.
"In the c-buccs. That's how I met your mom," he told the little boy.
"Mommy played pyramid too?"
Sam shook his head. "She was the one who fixed us when we got hurt playing," he stated.
Nate gave him a proud smile. "Mommy fixes people. She's a doctor," he said.
"Hum, so what do you wanna be when you grow up?" Sam inquired his son. When he was a kid, he had always wanted to be a fireman for some reason.
"I'm gonna be a pyramid player, a viper pilot and a doctor," he stated in a firm voice, like it was a settled matter.
Sam laughed at the irony. The kid wanted to be exactly the same as his parents were… "You surely don't think low, kid," he mumbled. But genetics will help, Sam added in his head.
From the doorway of her room, Erin Decker watched her son bonding with his father with tears in her eyes. She had been so terribly wrong…
---
Two hours after waking up from the worse nightmare she had had in months, Kara was alone in her cabin with Jamie – Lee had been called back to the CIC because of something related to the newfound planet.
Her daughter's carrier was firmly set on top of the table she was sitting by – the stupid dream had freaked her out and she wasn't planning on letting the baby out of her sight anytime soon – not even to daycare, taking Jamie to work was the next step. Just the thought of Leoben touching her child made her sick. She would kill him before he entered the same room as the baby.
Kara's attention turned back to the draw in front of her – the damn colored figure; a mandala. What did that thing mean? It had been there all her life and she had never bothered to think of it. Was it the colors? Blue, yellow, red… She had once studied the color meanings in high school: blue to calmness, yellow to hope, red to love… but also war.
"Now, that's confusing…" she mumbled to herself. She'd end up driving herself crazy with that stupid mandala.
The baby whimpered in her carrier, asking for her mother's attention. Jamie had been cranky since she'd woken up and Kara suspected these were the first signs of teething… She got up and reached for her daughter, cradling her against her chest. The baby rested her head against her mother and put her little hand in her mouth, chewing it.
Kara was getting frustrated, not only with the dream itself but also with the fact that she couldn't bring herself to tell Lee about the mandala. She needed to figure it out first and, knowing her husband, if she told him he would just shake his head and tell her it didn't mean anything. Maybe she should see an oracle…
She heard the door of the cabin opening and quickly reached for the mandala drawing, throwing it to Jamie's carrier so Lee wouldn't ask questions.
"Hey again. Have I mentioned that sometimes I really hate to be the commander of a ship?" he said when she turned around.
"I think that was always implied," she stated. "They won't be calling you every two hours to the CIC now, will they? 'Cause if they do I may have to intervene…"
"Hopefully, no. They just need me to assign a small army of marines and half a dozen raptors to the recon mission to the planet. Dad says that if everything is safe down there, the harvest can start in a couple of weeks or so…"
"Algae, yummy," she said sarcastically. "I dare you to feed that to Jamie. It will be quite a picture when she spits it all to your face."
Lee shook his head and looked down at his baby daughter and gently took her out of her mother's arms, lifting her to his eye level. "What's with the frown, princess?" he asked Jamie. The usual smile on her face was gone…
Kara sighed, part of her hurting for the baby. "I think she may be teething," she told her husband, caressing Jamie's hair. She was always such a good baby – guess teething would be beyond her good mood… "Sounds like we're in for a few sleepless nights."
Lee groaned and clutched the little girl closer. "Dad told me about that. He said it would make us think twice before having another one of these," he stated, nodding at Jamie.
"Not until she's potty trained at least," Kara said. As much as she loved the idea of having more kids with Lee, double diaper changing was just too much… "And if we could get rid of the toasters before another one came, that would be a blast."
Her husband looked her in the eyes, hearing the slight hint of concern in her voice. "This dream thing had been bothering you, hasn't it?"
Kara shook her head, not wanting to admit it. "I'm fine," she lied.
Lee frowned, sifting his daughter's weight to his other arm. "Are we backing to the phase when we didn't tell anything to each other? You can't let a dream drive us apart." He approached his wife and touched her arm. "Jamie is safe. Leoben won't be able to get here unless he manages to pass dozens of vipers, plus dozens of marines plus the two of us." His hand ascended to her face and he leaned closer to kiss her softly, as if to assure her.
She relaxed and let him pull her closer to his chest, so their baby girl was snuggled between them. Lee was right. The stupid nightmare was driving them apart and she couldn't let that happen. Just that morning, before the wedding, they had been acting so stupidly happy – and she loved that. These moments were too precious to simply let go.
"Let's put this little princess to bed and hit the shower," he suggested with a little naughty hint in her voice.
And who was Kara to refuse? It would be a good way to let go, even if it was just for a few hours, of the stupid fears in her mind. "The shower it is," she agreed.
---
The hours felt like minutes and, sooner than Sam realized it, it was past Nate's bedtime.
"To bed you go, Mister Nathan," Erin told her son.
"But Mommy, I wanna talk to Sam…" her son protested with pleading eyes.
She raised an eyebrow. "The puppy eyes won't work this time," she said. "It's two hours past your bedtime."
Nate turned to Sam for help but he shook his head too. "I think you'd better do what your Mum is saying. If you don't sleep, you won't grow and they don't want short guys in the pyramid league. They have a hard time scoring."
"That's not fair," the little boy said with a pout as his mother snorted.
Sam laughed. "Don't worry, I'll be back tomorrow and we can finish our conversation if you want," he assured his son.
"Promise?"
"Promise," Sam said, rufling the little boy's hair.
He sat on Erin's couch, watching her dress their son in his pajamas by the little bed settled in a corner of the room. She tucked him in and sat on the edge of the bed, reading to him from a book.
Sam watched as Nate's face relaxed and at some point he was sure the little boy had fallen asleep. Erin noticed the same and closed the book, putting it on the nightstand and planted a kiss on his forehead before turning off the lights.
He got up and signaled to her to follow him outside the cabin, which she did.
"Nate already loves you," was the first thing she said when they stepped out of her quarters.
"He's something else…" Sam stated. "Are you sure he's just three?"
Erin laughed softly. "Yeah. But he does sound older when he talks," she admitted. "He's gifted, don't ask me why. Said his first word at five months old and by the time he was one he could say entire sentences. He also started to walk early."
"I guess he had good genes," Sam said simply. "You did a good job with him." There was silence for a moment. "You think he'll accept me when he finds out I'm his dad?"
"You're already his hero. I'd be surprised if he didn't," Erin replied. Then, she sighed, once again regretting putting the two of them through that. "Will you ever forgive me for keeping him from you?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know," he said. Maybe time would fix things, maybe it wouldn't. He wasn't even sure he wanted things fixed… "The only thing I'm sure of is that it won't happen right now…"
"Guess I deserve it," she mumbled.
"Hum, I have to go. Early CAP tomorrow," he said, finding a way to escape the uncomfortable chat.
"Wait," she requested. "I have something I need to show you." She re-entered the cabin, leaving the door open behind her and returned a couple of minutes later with what looked like an album and a box. "Nate's baby book and a few more photos. I thought you might want to see them…" She passed the items to him. "You can keep a few if you want."
"Thanks," he said. "So, tomorrow same time?"
"Maybe a little earlier. I don't want him to get used to go to bed later…"
Sam nodded in agreement. "Okay, see you tomorrow, then."
"Yeah, tomorrow," she responded faintly.
He practically ran back to his bunkroom, curious to see the photos. He had lost so much… Sam wished he had taken part in raising that amazing kid but he probably wouldn't have done much better himself.
Closing the curtain of his bunk and turning on the small lamp in it, Sam opened the book. The first picture was an ultrasound. Frak, he thought, unable to believe that Nate had ever been that small little thing. He wondered how Erin had looked pregnant – stunning for sure. She was always stunning to him…
The next picture was Erin in a hospital bed, holding a small blue bundle. She was kind of pale but looking down at the baby adoringly. Unconditional love, for sure…
That one was followed by several pictures of Nate as an infant, then a toddler, and the last ones looked more like the little boy he knew. He reached for the box, which had a few more pictures of Nate, some with Erin in it. He decided to keep the one on the top. It was recent, showing Erin sitting by a table in daycare with a very colored Nate on her lap – he had paint all over his arms.
Sam got up and walked to his locker, opening it. He had just managed to stick the photo by the mirror when someone else entered the bunkroom.
"Hey, Erin came to talk to me earlier."
He didn't need to turn in order to know it was Barolay. "I know," he stated. "We talked after that."
"Hum, so you're together again?" Jean asked hopefully.
"It's not that simple…" he mumbled, not taking his eyes of the photo.
She approached him and saw it too. "Who's the little guy with Erin," she inquired.
Sam turned to her. "Our kid," he said.
A/N: Oh my god. I just saw the new bsg episode and let me tell you I'm still in absolute utter shock. My boyfriend swears I went catathonic in front of the screen. Please, tell me what you thought of the episode if you seen it, 'cause my god, that was spectacular. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter and that I made justice to the meeting you expected. I have one assignment down and two more to go (one of them in next monday). Remember, 10 reviews get you a preview in my livejournal. We haven't been able to reach them lately, but that doesn't mean I won't keep my promise.