Chapter summary: This feeling has a name, Daine, but you will learn it later. (Daine's growing up is not all about Numair. But mostly it is.)

3.

Beautiful, buxom, mature

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You get your young girls drunk

"On wine on poetry on virtue"

You spin them around and play them your tunes and pour them just one more.

And then you blame them

When they are throwing up at your feet?

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The winter she turns sixteen is the first time Daine decides to drink at the palace festivities.

She doesn't think she gets completely drunk, but she does go through all the equivalent stages. Starting with giggling against Miri in the loud smoky hall, and ending somewhere more morose when, later in the night, the Riders begin to head off to bed, sometimes in pairs.

Miri and Evin are still sitting with her, though, though she suspects they want to pair off together, too. But they're being wonderful and best friends and so lovely to her. When Evin brings over a bottle of something and starts pulling them outside, he makes a point that Daine is coming too, and Miri takes her hand, so she follows, and feels only a little bit awkward about it.

(She's not used to having this as the problem. Somewhere between the wars, the immortals, the trouble with madness, fleeing her country, and the blossoming of her magic, she missed this stage – of teenage floundering).

There are bonfires in the meadow where they exercise ponies in summer, with bubbling pots of hot mead and cider set out, and musicians wondering around, competing with the off-tune drunken bawling of the party goers. All the Rider troops have come out, most of the palace staff, and even some of the nobles (ones that aren't above this sort of thing). It's loud and rambunctious and fun.

They stand towards the outer edges around the fire, part of the mass but still a little separate so they can still be just together. Evin drapes a hang over her shoulders and passes her the bottle – whatever it is burns way more than the wine going down, and Daine coughs a little. But Evin and Miri are laughing and it makes her laugh too.

"What is that?" Daine chokes. Evin takes the bottle from her and takes a big swig, and passes it to MIri. They're both slightly taller than Daine so they smile at each other over her. They're also both slightly more drunk – she can feel Evin swaying a little because he's sort of holding on to her.

"We're contributing to your education!"

"That's right - we can't leave everything to Master Numair!" Miri giggles. "I'm sure there are subjects that he won't cover with you. Or uncover with you." They both burst out laughing again.

Daine thinks that's a sexual innuendo, but she doesn't really want to deal with that right now, especially not from Evin and Miri. So she takes it as a comment about the drinking. She grins at them and takes the bottle back from Miri.

"I'm ready to be educated."

"Atta girl!" Say Evin, and swings her around in a dance-of-sorts for a while.

It's not even that cold, between the fire and the whiskey and the three of them standing pressed up against each other. They stay out for awhile, and Daine feels relaxed and happy and light.

Then Evin starts playing with her hair and Miri keeps holding her hand. She feels Miri's cheek press against her own (cool and smooth). And Miri is laughing and wonderful, and Daine thinks, Miri could probably talk to the whales, too, if she wanted to, she probably grew up talking to them without even realizing. She's feeling so much love and affection for her friend, and Evin's hands are warm where they're touching her neck, he's standing right behind her and she can feel his voice rumble even through her coat. Miri's cheek is cool and she's still holding her hand, there's brawling music, and happy screams, and the fire is orange casting blue shadows on the snow. Everything is spinning just a little bit so that she feels so light, and then Miri kisses her, with cool chapped lips, on the mouth.

Daine's heart skips and flips over.

She stays there for just a moment, then comes to her senses and pulls back fast.

She can't go very far because she's still standing right against Evin, whose laugh (warm and without any malice) is reverberating though her back. Miri grins at her. Her eyes are bright, with dancing reflections of the firelights. She leans in again, kisses the corner to Daine's mouth, then kisses her fully again. Daine's heart beats fast. She doesn't know what to make of it, but it's not unpleasant. For her first kiss.

"Not a part of your usual lessons?" Miri laughs when she pulls back, seeing the slightly dazed expression on Daine's face.

"Or is it?" Suggests Evin.

It's a little too much, to have the image of Numair come up in between all of this. She shakes her head vigorously. Miri squeezes her hand and steps back, smiling. They're still being her friends. They're not pushing anything. Evin passes her the bottle again, and he doesn't try to kiss her.

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The two of them do leave eventually (together), but Daine tells them she wants to stay by the fire a little longer. She's too on-edge and confused to head to bed yet. She's about to get morose as well, but feels a familiar presence in the corner of her mind. It's Tahoi! Which means Onua is probably nearby, as well. Daine can't think of anyone she wants to be with more right now. Onua is the most straightforward person she knows. Things are never confusing with Onua.

Daine follows a thin line of her magic to Tahoi. It's a little bit hard to walk in a straight line but she feels proud of herself for not stumbling.

Onua is sitting with her head in her hands, and Daine doesn't really understand what is going on when the other woman sees her, rolls her eyes, and starts laughing.

"Oh no," says Onua. "Not you, too." Then Daine sees that, just a few feet from Onua, a girl – one of this year's newest and youngest Rider recruits – is on her knees, throwing up. Daine sways, a little queasy at the sight. Then realizes what Onua is implying.

"No! I'm not. I'm fine. I'm not even – " Her cheeks are red, but Onua doesn't really seem to care. She sighs as Daine sits down next to her (making it a point of being graceful and purposeful and not at all sloppy). The girl moans a little. "Is she OK?" Daine asks.

"Numair went to bring reinforcements. She's fine – but her troop rides out tomorrow morning to a new winter training camp. I tell Sarge this every time – they may be soldiers, but they're still – so young." She looks sideways at Daine again for a moment. "What's going on with you?"

"I'm fine." Daine says quickly.

Numair comes up to them, with him a woman. Daine starts to feel weary before she even realizes why. It's clear, even though there's nothing you could put your finger on, from the way they're walking together, from the way they stand – there's something going on between them. Daine doesn't often meet these women – Numair tends to keep that part of his life separate from her. She tries not to stare.

"Hello, Daine." Numair says, smiling at her. She thinks of Miri's chapped lips and the comment –not a part of your usual lessons?

Daine thinks she probably just feels weird about it because of the things Evin and Miri were saying. And the other things that happened tonight. It's all just on her mind and jumbled up with the alcohol. She never gets silly like this.

Numair introduces the woman, who smiles at Daine briefly before she goes over to the Rider girl and kneels besides her. She's lovely, of course. She's tall and golden-haired and with a generous swell to her bosom. She puts her hands on the girl's shoulders and nothings extremely obvious happens, but the girl's wretching stops. They stay still like that for several minutes.

Daine looks back and sees Numair watching the scene, smiling just slightly.

Of course he likes her. She's beautiful and magical, she's probably talented and experienced and mature. She probably has a boudoir. She probably wears lace.

The image of Numair with a woman in lace undergarments comes up forcefully before her eyes. Daine scowls.

"She just needs to sleep it off, now." She hears Numair's lover say.

"I'll take her back." Onua says. She pulls the girl up, who is crying and saying something apologetic. Onua clucks impatiently. She's stern and no-nonsense, but she cares so much about the Riders. She's the kindest at moments like these. They head towards to barracks.

Daine turns and realizes that Numair is looking at her closely. She feels horribly self-conscious because that means the woman at his side is also looking at her, frustratingly patient and serene.

"Stop trying to figure out if I'm drunk, Numair." She snaps. His eyebrows shoot up. Daine wants to rear for a fight. The woman leans over to whisper something in his ear, he nods, and she retreats.

"I wasn't." He says, taken aback. "I thought you looked upset. Is everything alright?" Daine stares at him, her face burning. She is upset, but it's ridiculous.

"I'm fine."

"Did something happen?"

She wants to shout who is that! and what are you doing?! and maybe something incomprehensible and maybe something else.

"I said I was fine Numair. You don't have to baby me. I'm not a child."

Numair looks stunned. "Very well." He says. She thinks he looks a little sad, too. He touches her hair lightly and briefly.

"I will see you tomorrow, Magelet."

And he turns around and starts walking back inside – inside where his beautiful talented fantastically-Gifted buxom lover is waiting in her lace underthings. Daine sinks back down to the log. There is a bump against her side, and she turns to wrap her arms around Tahoi gratefully. She buries her fingers in the dog's thick fur. Humans are just too hard, sometimes, she thinks. Tears are hot on her face.

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Then, two weeks later, the barrier collapses, and things change.

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A/N: Three chapters in a row where someone is drunk and/or vomiting – how far can we take this trend? The second line in the poem is from Baudelaire's "Be Drunk". All other standard disclaimers apply.