Disclaimer: I do not own the Fate franchise it belongs to Kinoko Nasu and Type-Moon.
Different Fates
Chapter 29
The girl staggered down the street, breathing hard and sweating as she worked her way through the night crowds, every so often bracing herself against a wall with one hand. A few people half-heartedly noticed her appearance and asked if she were alright, but she ignored them. Most however, did not care.
No one cares…no one…if family doesn't care…why would complete strangers?
Rin Matou continued down the street, shutting out her grandfather's telepathy and fighting the agitation of the worms in her. Prana pumped through her circuits and down into their bottomless maws, rendering them sluggish and docile despite her grandfather's efforts to have them bring her to heel.
For the first time in her life, she openly defied him, and he was displeased with that, and her earlier having said too much. Too much…Tohsaka…her sister now knew, and he found it unsuitable for his purposes
No surprise there.
But even sluggish and docile, the worms couldn't ignore her grandfather's command. They were still him after all, and they were fused into her body, entwined like a blasphemous abomination of a nervous system around and inside of her. Every step…every breath was agony and delight in equal measure, hot needles driving into her and gentle orgasms rippling through her with every motion.
Rin Matou let it sink into the background, letting it become routine and something to not care about, just like her nightmare of a life had always been. There was little or nothing she could do about it after all. But this time…there was something more. Resentment had always been there, and even hatred, but like everything else they usually just faded into the background.
Not this time…this time the resentment and hatred bubbled and boiled to the surface even as the nightmare sank into the background. There was a shadow now, and it called for revenge, not just against the ones who had betrayed her, used her, but against a world that let such things happen.
I hate this world. It doesn't deserve to exist. This world should burn.
Rin Matou continued on her way, her face twisted into an ugly sneer as she made her way down the street. The sound of obnoxious music, boisterous voices, and careless laughter poured out from stores and restaurants all around, mixing with the dull sound of vehicles and the inane chatter of the crowds.
Look at them so happy. They know nothing of how filthy this world is, and even if they did they wouldn't care. They'd happily cover themselves with its filth and revel in it, carrying on without a care.
It makes me sick.
This entire is world is filthy. Everyone in it is filthy. I am the filthiest of them all.
Is there a reason for continuing to exist? There is none. Everything should just vanish. Everyone should just die. No more life…no more hope…no more pain and suffering…all equal in darkness.
For a hundred billion years and more…until the universe ends…until eternity ends…until then…sweetness…sweet oblivion and silence...
Obnoxious lights shone down from overhead, the building crowds jostling and bumping her around. She stumbled and fell, spilling a nearby garbage can even as she fell to her knees. "Hey are you alright?" someone nearby asked. The concern in his voice made her sick.
Such falsity…
"That was a bad fall…and you don't look so good. Are you alright Miss? Hey…"
Rin clutched at her face with one hand, falling forward on her other hand. Her breathing came hard and heavy, something building inside of her, hot and angry, raging barely in control.
"Miss…?"
"What's wrong with her?"
"Is she sick?"
"She certainly looks it."
"Could be a dye job…you know how hookers are these days."
"You think she's on drugs then?"
"All of you…" Rin snarled in a voice that was hers and not hers all at the same time. "…this entire world…everything and everyone…"
A concerned bystander placed a cautious hand on a shoulder and then recoiled as static sparked and she threw a fiery glance at him. "JUST DIE!" she screamed, her eyes blazing and her body crackling with corposant.
Fire exploded outwards, screaming filling the air as an entire block and more was consumed.
Sakura's fist solidly connected with Shinji's face, the boy flying back and tumbling over the couch with a cry of pain. Shaking off Anika's attempt at restraining her, Sakura strode around the couch towards Shinji as he struggled to his feet. Pulling him up by the scruff of his neck, Sakura proceeded to land blow after blow into Shinji's belly, ignoring his shouts of pain.
Anika could only stare with horror at the sheer brutality her friend was capable of. Or rather, she stared at the purely physical nature of it. Had Sakura drawn her sword and cut the boy down, she could have understood. She'd have said nothing of it, just like she'd said nothing about Sakura's pursuit for revenge against the Emiya boy.
Men and women had the right to vengeance after all.
But this was no clean vindication of honour. This was merely venting anger, inflicting pain simply for pain's own sake, to drive home to an enemy his own helplessness. As Sakura pulled the vomiting Shinji up by the hair before breaking his nose with a solid blow into his face, Anika lunged forward. "Sakura stop!" she shouted.
Any more of this…if you kill him like this…you'll regret it forever.
Kirei for his part watched with thickly-veiled amusement. A part of him had been surprised at the sheer strength such a slender girl like Sakura possessed, though in hindsight that was foolishness on his part. Swords were heavy, forged out of steel to cut through steel, bone, and flesh. As a swordswoman such strength as Sakura showed now was only to be expected from someone who wielded a sword on the battlefield.
No doubt her slender appearance and modest attire belied a toned frame. Nothing too muscular, but enough to make her parents raise their eyebrows if they ever saw her.
Well…maybe not Tokiomi, though he'd probably raise an eyebrow over her favouring western swordsmanship over eastern disciplines.
Kirei's amusement at the Matou boy's physical battering and the baroness' horror at Sakura's rampage came to an end as the baroness rushed forward, physically restraining her friend. "Enough Sakura…!" she said, struggling to hold Sakura back. "Anymore and he'll die!"
"That's the idea!" Sakura said, throwing Anika off and turning on her. "It's what he deserves, along with the rest of his family!"
"Then draw your sword and finish it!" Anika shouted back. The baroness raising her voice in anger seemed to strike a chord at Sakura, who took a step back and looked away. "There's no need to punish him to such an extent! Why cause such needless pain?"
Sakura's eyes flared and she looked back at Anika. "Needless pain…?" she echoed. "My sister was turned into a guinea pig! And there also 'engraving' to consider. You know as well as I do even without the details that it's comparable to torture! Why should he be spared pain when my sister was not?"
"Then you would sink to their level?" Anika retorted, and Sakura blanched. The blood ran from her face as realization sank in, the girl recoiling as though struck. Anika took a deep breath and ran a hand over her face. "If you want to kill him, then do it. Make it quick and claim your just vengeance. But don't sink to their level and inflict pain for its own sake!"
Sakura looked away with a sound of disgust. "Fine…" she snapped, walking back around the couch. "…I'll think about it."
Anika sighed and shook her head. She glanced at Shinji, who struggled to his feet. The boy's face was bloody from a broken noise and a burst lip, and his hair was streaked with blood from where hair had been ripped out when Sakura had punched him in the face while holding him by the hair. Vomit stained his clothes, and Anika wrinkled her nose with disgust.
With another shake of her head she turned her back and followed after her friend. "So why is he here?" she asked Kirei.
"Apparently he sought to trade information in exchange for sanctuary." Kirei answered while walking over to Shinji and helping him to the couch, using a healing spell on his face.
"A turncoat…" Sakura sneered. "…you would trust someone like that?"
Kirei's lips curled at the girl's ignorant irony. After all, she did trust him. Though she was beginning to see that perhaps she should be more cautious about him from now on.
Wise move, child.
"Please keep in mind that I was once an Executor." Kirei replied. "I have participated in more than one interrogation session in the past, and with more…formidable individuals on the other side. I know the truth when I hear it."
Sakura said nothing, but Anika coughed. "And…?" she asked. "Has he given anything of use?"
Kirei nodded and walked over to a bookshelf filled with books and papers. Eventually he returned with a slim notebook which he handed to Sakura. "I have taken the liberty of compiling everything he's told to me." He said. "Despite lacking magical potential, the boy has excellent understanding of magical theory. If he had possessed said potential, he might have made a fine magus someday."
Sakura scoffed before flipping through it. It contained details about the Matou magecraft: training methods, concepts used and their applications, their familiars and how they were bred, used, as well as their limitations and side-effects. There was also a general description of the Matou's unique variation of the magic crest, and a brief discussion on the potential the Matou magecraft held with regards to reincarnation magecraft.
There was more, but Sakura's hands shook terribly, her eyes wide as she read again and again the details of the crest worm and how the Matou could use their familiars to store their souls and subvert the bodies of others to reincarnate themselves. She couldn't…it was too much…just this…no…no…no…no…no!
I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm sorry for letting it happen. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to help. I'm sorry for not trying to find out. I'm sorry for forgetting you all this time. And…and…I'm sorry…I'm sorry for being grateful…that you…not me…that this happened to you…I'm sorry…
Sakura closed her eyes, her hands clenching and distorting the notebook in them. "All these apologies…" she thought. "…worthless…there's no point in them…they won't change anything…forgive me sister…please…but…"
Eyes slowly opened, and they fell upon the Matou boy sitting in silence across from her. The boy had stayed silent all this time, apparently unwilling to risk provoking her in any way ever since she beat him earlier. Pointless…his appearance reminded Sakura of everything she'd read, of her sister's 'training' and everything that came with it.
Defiled…broken…infested with parasites…stripped of all dignity…
With a snarl of hurt and rage Sakura threw the notebook at Shinji, and would probably have beaten him again had Anika not restrained her. "Sakura…!" the baroness said, struggling to keep Sakura in her seat. "Stop this please! Control yourself!"
In the end Sakura could only collapse in her seat, letting her face sink into her hands. Anika sighed and held her close, rubbing her on the back as the other girl sobbed. "It's alright…" she whispered. "…it's alright…"
She looked up at Kirei who met her gaze evenly. "I'm taking Sakura home." Anika said, and he nodded.
"That might be best." He agreed, and Anika helped Sakura to her feet. As she guided her to the door though, Sakura abruptly stopped.
"Sakura…?" Anika asked.
"Archer…" Sakura said softly, her voice and face low. The Servant materialized behind them. "…bring him."
"Very well…" he said, and Sakura walked away, Anika keeping an arm over her and whispering to her. Archer then turned to Shinji, who looked more than a bit alarmed.
"Hey, hey…" the boy said desperately to Kirei. "…you can't let me go with them. Tohsaka…she…if I go into her house I'm never coming out!"
"That is certainly possible." Kirei said with a shrug. "But there's no guarantee of that."
Shinji struggled as Archer wordlessly pulled him away. "Priest…!" he shouted. "Do something! Damn it I asked for sanctuary! I told you everything I know!"
"I am only obliged to provide sanctuary to Masters of the Holy Grail War." Kirei smoothly answered. "You are not therefore I am under no obligation to shelter you. In fact, I never said I would shelter or help you, only that you might be able to get Tohsaka's mercy if you spilled what you knew."
"Then why?" Shinji shouted as he tried to pull free from Archer. He might as well have tried to pull free from a concrete wall, considering a Servant's strength.
Kirei smirked at him. "I was curious." He said. "I simply wanted to know why a Matou – and not their Master – would come to my church, and more than that was being hunted by his own family head. My curiosity has been satisfied and you have my thanks."
"PRIEST…!"
Kirei looked on with a smile as the boy was taken away by the Servant. He stood in silence, alone, until at last he sensed his guests leave in their entirety. Only then did he turn to an apparently empty corner. "Well?" he asked. "What do you think King of Heroes?"
Golden motes of light flickered through the air, materializing the figure of a tall man with blonde hair, encased in golden armour engraved with cuneiform in blue. Crimson irises regarded the priest coolly. "Don't underestimate her Kirei." He said simply.
"I won't." he said with a smile. "Rest assured I will regard young Tohsaka with…"
"I wasn't talking about the rebellious child." Gilgamesh interrupted. "This will be a great trial for her, and I expect to see her learn from it. But no I was referring to her friend."
"Baroness Derfflinger…?"
"Yes." Gilgamesh said, the briefest flicker of annoyance over what he considered a presumptuous title passing over his face. Briefer in fact, than what Kirei expected: apparently the baroness had managed to if not impress the King of Heroes, at least grab enough of his interest that he wouldn't condemn her outright.
"She is the rebellious child's friend." The King of Heroes continued. "Friends…are more valuable than most would think. But I doubt you'd understand that, would you, treacherous one?"
Kirei smiled and bowed. "No, I suppose not." He said.
Gilgamesh made a sound of disgust, walking towards the doorway and vanishing into motes of gold.
Anika paced back and forth in the Tohsaka living room, while Shinji sat resignedly on the couch. Archer was there, as was Flora, Sakura's homunculus maidservant. Immediately upon arrival Sakura had vanished into her workshop, asking everyone else to wait for her in the living room.
It was obvious that she was planning something, and it worried Anika. Sakura was losing control, and while it was understandable – her entire world had been torn down around her within a matter of hours – it wasn't something that could just be dismissed.
The Clock Tower, no the Mages Association's history is full of examples of promising geniuses who turned into monsters because of a single choice that would define the rest of their lives. And right now…with the flames of wrath and vengeance raging out of control as their targets shift…Sakura…
Shinji slowly but nervously rubbed his hands together. He'd always know that if he told Tohsaka everything she'd most likely kill him, but he'd always hoped that in exchange for information on the Matou magecraft – magi being magi – his life would be spared. In hindsight though it seemed he was a fool.
The amount he knew and gave was only the tiniest amount there was of the Matou magecraft, and if anything it only served to stoke Tohsaka's anger further. What was more…even though he had prepared himself to die…resigned to it even…now that death was staring at him in the face…he didn't want to die.
I'm a coward. In the end my hatred for my family is hollow. I thought I hated them because they were monsters, and I deserve to die because we share the same blood, but now…?
I don't want to die. I want to live. I…I…I'm just a selfish coward. I hated them…not because they were monsters…but because I couldn't…
Shinji swallowed dryly, unwilling to complete the thought that he hated his family because he couldn't be one of them.
Flora was Flora. A homunculus coined in a magus' lab, she was programmed to be loyal to and to serve her mistress no matter what. There was no room for doubt, only unflinching duty.
Archer for his part stared out the window at the darkness outside. Much like Anika he worried about what Sakura might do. And just like her, he knew that Sakura was about to make a choice that would define her for the rest of his life.
The sound of a door closing in the distance caught their attention, followed soon after by the sounds of heavy boots coming closer. Finally Sakura appeared, and to Anika's worry she didn't make eye contact. Instead she placed a scroll along with a strange-looking pen on the table before Shinji, and then turned and walked closer to the mantelpiece.
She didn't explain, but judging from her expectant bearing, she expected him to read and sign the scroll, all the while staring at her family's photos on the mantelpiece. Shinji slowly picked up the scroll and began to read it. It took only a moment to recognize what it was. "A geis scroll…?" he said in surprise, and Anika whirled to look at Sakura in shock.
"Sakura what are you…?" she began, only to trail off as Shinji began to read aloud. She turned her eyes back to the boy, while Archer remained focused on Sakura.
The way her shoulders are slumped…the way she's not reacting to the pictures in front of her…compared to the storm of emotion from earlier…it's like…damn it. She's internalizing…steeling herself to do something she can't ever step back from.
Archer bit his lip. "Will I witness your downfall Sakura?" he thought. "Much like Rin Tohsaka, you could be one of the greatest magi of your generation, but will you be her dark shadow, great and terrible?"
"Shinji Matou is to become a bound retainer of the Tohsaka family." Shinji read. The conditions of the geis were simple but terrifying in its implications. "He is to obey without question any and all commands given to him by recognized members of the Tohsaka family. In exchange for his complete submission and obedience, the Tohsaka family will support and protect his person and health. This geis will be bound to the crest of the Tohsaka family, and to the nervous system of Shinji Matou. Failure on the part of the Tohsaka family will result in the destruction of their crest. Failure on the part of Shinji Matou will result in pain of magnitude and duration to be set by recognized members of the Tohsaka family at their discretion. Failure on the part of Shinji Matou may also be punished by termination through disintegration of the skeletal system."
"Sakura…!" Anika shouted in horror, but the other girl didn't respond, still staring at her family's photos.
"You cannot be serious." Shinji ground out. "This…this is madness. I…I'll be a slave to be tortured or killed painfully at your pleasure! Why not just kill me? Or send me back to my grandfather? If you want to torture or kill me painfully, then that's less effort on your part!"
Finally Sakura raised her head. "Are you refusing the geis?" she asked, Anika and Archer recoiling in horror at her tone of voice. It was cold, lifeless, as though the person speaking it didn't really care one way or the other.
Shinji's response was to tear the geis scroll in half. "You can stick this up your arse bitch!" he spat. "I didn't defy my grandfather just so you can take his place!"
Sakura stayed silent a moment longer. "Archer, take him outside." She ordered in the same cold voice from before. "Flora, prepare the pedestal if you please."
Archer grabbed Shinji by the arms and began dragging the struggling boy outside, Flora giving a bow and leading the way. Anika tried to reason with Sakura, only to be ignored as the other magus stalked out of the living room and then out of her house. Anika followed, watching with mounting worry as Sakura drew her sword slowly, the steel shining with reflected lamplight and Moonlight.
Flora took the model astrolabe gently but firmly off of the pedestal, and Archer divining its meaning placed Shinji on the makeshift block. The boy's eyes widened with horror as Sakura stopped right next to him, her sword held point down against the ground.
"If you have any last words boy…" she said. "…now is the time."
Shinji gasped a few times, and then he shook his head with panic. "I'm sorry, I'll sign the scroll please, just don't kill me." He begged, ignoring the liquid warmth in his pants. "Please…please…PLEASE…!"
Ignoring his pleas, Sakura lifted her sword and brought it down in a gleaming arc. "NO…!" Anika shouted, running forward and grabbing Sakura by the wrist, Starlight stopping just inches from the hysterically sobbing Shinji.
Sakura stared at Anika right next to her, and then with a shout of frustration grabbed her by the collar and slammed her against a nearby lawn ornament. "Why?" she demanded, Starlight held against Anika's neck. "Why do you get in the way? You know that he deserves to die, he and his entire family do! Quick and clean…just like you said…so why…?"
Anika didn't answer at once, instead smiling and placing a hand against Sakura's cheek. "Because I can't let you do this." She said, tears making their way down from her eyes. "I'm sorry Sakura, I really am…but if you do this…after you tried to enslave him…you'll be no different than him or his family, the tame psychopaths who infest the Clock Tower, or even the monsters we've faced in the past."
Starlight shook once, the edge just barely cutting into the baroness' skin. "Anika…" Sakura whispered as her voice and eyes wavered.
"Will you kill me Sakura?" Anika asked. "That's fine. If killing me…killing him…killing everyone that stands in your way makes you happy, do it. For your happiness' sake…it's fine."
Starlight wavered again. "Do…do you…" Sakura began softly, also beginning to cry. "…do you really want to die? Do you really want me to kill you? Do you really think…it would…?"
"No." Anika said.
"Then why?"
"Because I love you, and I don't want to see you losing everything that makes you who you are."
Sakura's eyes widened, Starlight shaking without stopping now. "Me…" she whispered. "…lose everything…"
Anika's smile faded. "Yes…" she answered. "…I told you earlier, that you are a beautiful person. And you still are…you're still the most beautiful person I've ever seen, especially now, standing on the edge."
"Anika…"
"I'd rather die with that as my last memory…" Anika said sadly. "…than see you stain yourself once and forever with unjust blood. Because once you step on that path, you'll walk it forever. So…if you still want to kill him…kill me…please…do it…if it makes you happy…do it."
"I can't…" Sakura said, her turn to cry as she loosened her grip on Anika's collar. "…I can't do it…how you could even…me…kill my own friend…someone who loves me…someone I…"
Sakura staggered back, Starlight swinging limply at her side, her face low. "Get him out of my sight." She whispered.
"My lady…?" Flora asked.
"Get him out of my sight!" Sakura shouted in response, refusing to raise her face as tears dripped from her face onto her blouse. "I don't care if Zouken gets him, or a Master and a Servant, I'll not have him and his family's poison in my house any longer!"
"I will obey." Flora said with a bow, grabbing the hysterical boy and taking him away. Archer stayed, looking on and inwardly breathing a sigh of relief. Sakura had made her choice, and the path of darkness was avoided.
"Sakura…" Anika began only to stop as Starlight fell to the ground with a clatter and Sakura threw herself at Anika.
"I love you too!" she all but shouted, crying into the baroness' shoulder. "So please…stay with me…just stay with me…"
"Sakura…" Anika whispered, returning the embrace and holding Sakura close. Archer bowed and left, vanishing into astral form to watch for enemies, and to give the girls some space.
Will this be enough to turn the tide? Once…for Saber's sake…I fought against the King of Heroes and won…and again I defied All of the World's Evil for her sake…will those two…will Sakura have that strength as well?
A/N
Orumon: well as pointed out in this chapter, her entire world's fallen apart, and as you said she is a hormonal teenager. It's not the first time that magi have gone off the rails either: in canon, Kayneth had a bad tendency to go out of control, though Sakura here has more reason to (Kayneth usually just throws a tantrum).
We're still some chapters from the Feast of Heroes, before that I want to wrap some things up between Sakura and Anika, Saber and Shirou, and a few other things besides those.
And don't worry: I know right now there isn't anyone in the city apart from Gil, Kirei, and possibly Bazett who have a guarantee of taking Zouken down for good. I have a plan, and so does Sakura.