Chapter 8 Waking towards a Henosis.

My dreams revolved around a vivid recollection of my early days.
In these dreams, I was joined. Accompanying me time and again was her.
I called her Aquamarine. But her name eluded me. Perhaps she didn't have one.
Perhaps I hadn't earned the right to know it yet. Or perhaps it was something more.
Still, regardless of the circumstance. I found myself standing in a room where younger version of me played with animals. The plastic toys were cheap, disposable items that you could pick up at any store. The young version of myself seemed to build these elaborate scenarios.
Was this when?

No, I answered. This was when I learned about other animals.

It was when I was sitting in my room. My parents were yelling out in the hallway once again.
The argument this time was about me running away from them. I had broken away from them and taken a Flabebe I found laying on our side walk to the local pokecenter. My parents had received a phone call from the nurse. They showed up. Mom looking proud of me, but dad looked furious.

I was dragged from the pokecenter and sent immediately home before I had a chance to explain myself. I was yelled at and sent to my room. However, dads reaction earned moms ire, once again.
"He can't go running off like that!"

"Are you insane?! He just saved a goddamn pokemon! We should be congratulating him on being so selfless!"

"No! It doesn't matter what he was doing! He disobeyed me and I'm not going to allow it!"

"Disobey you, what are you? Some kind of Egotistical sociopath?! Don't you realize that nothing is truly the black and white you wish it to be?! If the child doesn't learn moral right and wrong, how can he truly grow up to be a happy person! If you'd get off your high horse for 5 minutes you would realize that not every thing done wrong requires a firm hand!"

"I'm the goddamn manager here not you! So don't you talk to me about right and wrong!"

A loud noise was heard. The child cringed then curled his legs to his chest. A fresh wave of tears began falling down his cheeks. Foolishly, he blamed himself for his parents shortcomings. He thought it really was his fault that his dad was mad at him. At that young age, he had no way of knowing that the one who was truly at fault was his father.

Then, the lightest, voice finally spoke again.

Was this it?

...Yes.

This was the moment that set him on his path.

Two shades. One at 5 foot 7, the other at 5 foot 2, stood looking upon the child. In this memory, there was the two, a human and a gardevoir, standing side by side in a little childs room. The child, naturally, was unable to see this spectral pair. However, the emotions the kid emitted were very real to the both of them. They watched as the child curled up further as the sound of a slapping noise, followed by the sounds of a struggle broke out below. A crash was heard, and the barely discernable shouts of one of the two was briefly audible.

"This is when I gave up."

June 3130.

The sounds of nature brought me slowly back to reality.

At some point, I began to be aware of the sounds of the outside world around me. There was a crying noise that was melodic in nature, followed by a melodic response. The sound of footsteps were audible as I slowly began to open my eyes.

My eyes opened to a harsh input of light. A brilliant azure blue. So pristine in color, and unblemished by the sky. I allowed my eyes to slowly adjust to this heavenly grace. I felt weighted down. But my attention was distracted from that. As my eyes adjusted to the light and I felt myself becoming fully awake, I took a moment to simply enjoy what I was seeing. It was not often that the sky seemed to vivid to me. Nor was it often that I dreamt of the time my parents were arrested.

With a sigh, I decided to begin sitting up. With a spasm, I flexed my abdominal muscles, only to find that no matter the effort that was put in, little resulted. The weight that I had dismissed seemed to be restraining me. I shifted one arm slowly. It was free, but it was resting against something warm. I rubbed it slowly. Investigatively. Then I looked down towards my hand.

However, I wasn't able to find my own hand. Instead, I discovered a mass of aquamarine hair at chin level. Confused, I moved my hand till I could see it, then I placed my hand on the mass of hair, then gently pushed it aside. Under that hair was the still sleeping face of an adult Gardevoir, who carried the peaceful expression that very few people would likely see on this earth.

Further confused, I glanced around. I could see that it was laying almost entirely on me, but had positioned itself so that the shard that portruded from its chest did not poke into me. One of its legs was drawn up to my waist, and its leg emerged from the gown it wore, effectively hooking me into place. There was a dull pain in my left shoulder, which was currently being covered by the sleeping gardevoir. Due to this, I was unable to see just what the matter was. However, I was able to see a shadow against the tree we were apparently sleeping in move.

I slowly turned my head to see a young Ralts looking at me. It had the most peculiar expression of curiosity on its face. I gave it a small smile, then looked questioningly at the Gardevoir that was laying on me. My brain began to slowly put the pieces together as the Ralts happily chirped at my acknowledgement. I was laying in a hammock like bed, with a ralts happily speaking to me, and a Gardevoir laying atop me. Luckily, I only had a moment of confusion before the events of the previous day came rushing back to me:

I was attacked.

She saved me.

I nearly died but now, because of her, I am alive.

My shirt was missing.

Strangely, the last thought seemed rather relevant in my mind. My shirt was missing and I was injured. Aquamarine was curled up on me and the Ralts seemed amused by this. My naked chest was in contact with her. She and I were warming each other up.

The professor is going to draw, quarter, and commit me to the firing squad for this.

I gave a light groan as my eyes closed. I felt myself grow depressed as the consequences of today settled upon me. I was completely exposed. I was interacting with the observed subjects. I was now part of the observation when I was supposed to be observing and documenting.
I dejectedly closed my eyes then turned my head so that my face was buried in Aquamarines hair.

I was screwed in every possible sense of the word.

The light, melodic murmers of aquamarine as she emerged from slumber brought me out of my reverie and back to the present. I shifted my head slightly as she slowly woke up. Then, with hair slightly askew, met my eyes with her deep crimson orbs, then gave a small, warm, smile.
I felt her arms clench slightly around my still trapped torso, then I felt her left hand seek my left hand. Immediately, a warmth spread through me as our emotions began that process of intermingling. She communicated relief and hope. My response centered heavily on momentary confusion and embarassment which was met with obliviousness on her part. my fingers seemed to dance as I felt myself communicating my perception of how the Other Gardevoir would take this.

To further emphasize my point, I then made a slight jerking motion towards the young Ralts sitting not 2 feet away from us. A cloudy expression was communicated that threatened to invade my expressions until I quickly tried to articulate that I was just worried for the young ralts. Further, I communicated enjoyment at our interactions and how fascinated I was specifically by her. The smile and joy that radiated from her face as she slowly sat up could have lit up even the darkest of caves.

She slowly untangled herself from me, then walked over to the young ralts. before she knelt down to look it in the eye. With my body now free and her distracted by communicating happily with the Ralts, I took a moment to examine the damage.

As far as I could tell, my shoulder was covered in wrappings made of leaves. A blue paste was visible at the edges. and the gritty feeling seemed to run throughout the entire wrapping. As I gingerly touched the wrapped shoulder, I could feel very clearly that something had been heavily damaged. The pain centered on three strips in the front and a wide expanse along the shoulder and down the bicep. However, the pain was dulled despite the tactile evidence that I was rather badly injured. This was a multi week healing at best...

I could flex my arm below the elbow, but I could only do so gently. If I tried flexing it too fast, the entire arm lit up in a screaming, heavy metal, display of pain.

I felt along my abdomen to find that there was heavy bruising on the left side, and near black bruising along my sternum. My leg hurt but looked relatively undamaged. My head however, didn't feel as bad. Considering that my hand gingerly touched a lump I am certain will be playing mary cobb with my senses for the next few days. Yeah, all things considered, my head was fine.

I decided that it was now or never. I slowly retracted my legs then turned myself so that I could sit my legs on the ground, I slowly proceeded to sit upright. As long as I moved slowly, I wasn't too bad off. I sat there with the left arm curled up in my lap, and the right one rubbing my head idly. Then, I glanced around, to find the other Gardevoir watching with a mixture or reactions on display.

The matriarchs male had its mouth slightly open. It seemed to register honest surprise that I had managed to sit up. The surprise turned to confusion, then to uncertainty.

The Matriarch, as I called her, gave me a curious look at well. Though hers seemed to be amusement. Judging by the exchange of glanced between the two, it seemed likely that some kind of debate had taken place concerning my physical health.

The other two simply regarded me with curiosity as well. No doubt they were uncertain about what to make of the human who crashed into their lives while getting attacked by a poochyena.
Speaking of, I looked to my savior who was happily humming lightly to the ralts. She seemed as carefree as ever. The human she seemed interested in survived the day and was in her bed, and the ralts was seeking more singing lessons.

It was like everything had gone according to plan.

He tried to speak, but found that his mouth was quite dry, and his voice quite hoarse. With a worried expression, he rasped out a single word to them.
"Water?"

The word was met with expressions of confusion between all of them. Even AquaMarine seemed to be perplexed by the word. Her head tilted, cutely, to the side, then looked him in his eyes as he repeated the word.

"Water..."

Confusion remained on her face. This seemed to indicate that she could not understand english. Thus, he decided to try something. His right hand edged out, then gently tapped her middle finger. With a bright expression, she happily placed her palm above his as he found his fingers moving almost automatically as he formed the image as clearly as possible as he could in his mind.
Water?

A look of realization came to her face followed by a feeling of embarassment that she had forgotten something like this. Then she looked to the others, then vocalized quickly.
"Gard, ir rd."

I listened closely as she vocalized what I had asked for, then tried it out for myself.

"Gar...ir...rde?"

All eyes snapped to me as I made an attempt. Aquamarine broke the silence by furiously tracing her fingers across my palm.
I felt the rise in questioning as she focused. In confusion, I broke through her frustration, then focused on the image of me drinking water, followed by the recent memory of me trying to say what she did followed by a questioning sense.

Realization came to her face followed by embarassment again. She then vocalized slowly to the others "Devo ga ga voir!"

That one I understood better. The lead female of the ralts-less pair, brought forth a cupped hand of water, then gently held her hands to my lips.

As I reluctantly drank from her hands, I felt cool relief spread through my mouth and down my throat.

"Ahh... yeah that will do the trick..." I finally said, sighing as I finished off the water.

The grateful feeling seemed to radiate from me without Aquamarines assistance. A radiance of joy spread from the one who offered me water, which matched the gratitude I apparently radiated.

I felt myself suddenly being grabbed as I realized that I had an emotional exchange with the another one of the Gardevoir. A wave of jealousy consumed me as Aquamarine turned me to face her. This seemed to earn the lightest laugh from both the Matriarch and the other female.
Posessively, I felt her hand fall into mine. Again, we seemed to lapse into this exchange. Her indicating I had angered her. The expression of confusion passed from me to her, then a sudden groaning noise that emitted from her followed by the feeling of frustration.

Her left hand left the ralts before she stood up then all but pressed her chest to my face.
I recoiled backwards, then looked up to her in confusion. She gave me a cross look, then placed my temple against her chest shard. I felt my temple pulsing gently as I began to notice the heat that seemed to radiate from her chest shard. With each pulse, I felt the sense of coherence as their vocalizations remained incoherent to me, but more attunded to an apparent cloud of emotions. Then, I began to hear it ever so softly. r me beh would have been dead!

What?

I sat back then looked up to meet her face. She gave a smile then tilted her head to the side. beh sze can you now understand me? I felt a voice bubble up into my consciousness.

At first, my confusion began to broadcast, then I was aware of the fact that the voice came from her. Yes.I suddenly thought. I poured my focus into this task to make sure that I could be understood.

Aquamarine suddenly gave a loud vocalization then grabbed onto my right shoulder before pulling me gently into an embrace Now my beh sze can hear me! Hello Beh Sze! I am glad that we can understand one another now!

Beh...Sze?

There was a slight murmuring noise to the right as the matriarch looked at the two of us. Again, the seemingly innocent gardevoir had clung herself to me. Arias bond seems to have worked. She spoke to me through my mind. welcome to our tet ze. your addition to our family honors us greatly. If Aquamarines voice was like honey, this one was like a church bell. Elegant yet commanding.

How is this possible? I asked.

With a smile, The matriarch looked first at me, then at the bubbling Gardevoir who sat with me, yet seemed focused briefly on the Ralts.

Aria has taken an interest in you. She seems to have been fascinated in you since you ensured Asas safe return to myself and Aitsu. The matriarch replied.

Wait.

Names were used just now.

I looked around at the Ralts and Aquamarine.

It would seem that the matriarch called her Aria.

I then looked at The Ralts. This one was called Asa.

Finally, I looked to the male Gardevoir. Aitsu.

I see... I am glad you all have such amazing names... though...I trailed off then looked at the Aquamarine Gardevoir Aria?

She suddenly looked up from the Ralts apparently named Asa then gave me an expectant look which I felt as if it were my own emotion as well.

Yes my beh sze? her voice filled my mind. Honey. That's how I would describe her voice. It was sweet and a little thick. Like honey.

I looked her in the eyes, then offered a small smile. Thank you for saving my life. I am honored to meet you...I finally said.

It's nice to meet you beh Sze! But we've known each other all our lives! I gave her a confused look then decided not to pursue this for the time being.

Her ramble was cut short by the sudden interruption of the Gardevoir Matriarch. She shared your dream last night. As such, she feels as though she knows you better than anyone one else in fates paths. She elaborated.

I gave a nod, but it was clear that the implications of what was meant was currently lost on me.

With a shrug, I looked at Aria. I was very self conscious of her and the others for a moment before I looked back at the Matriarch who seemed to have suddenly vocalized.

Alright, It's time that we circled forth to bring the fruits of our fortunes to our lives. As usual, young Asa, the light of our future. You grant the life that pulses into us all.

I felt my eyes widen slightly as the matriarch spoke these words telepathically to us all, all the while vocalizing for the sake of the young Ralts.

I found myself wishing, as she said these ceremonious words, wishing that I had my notepad so that I could copy down just what was said. Instead, I tried my damnedest to commit her words to memory for when I found my shirt.

Then, I felt some fruits placed at my feet by Aitsu.

Again, the matriarch vocalized. For the one who Aria has brought to us. The life that seeks to know in innocence like a child. The mate and beh sze of young Aria, With those words, I realized how I was described.

Mate?

Beh Sze?

I was confused once more, then looked to The Aquamarine Gardevoir now known as Aria with uncertainty. She then recieved her serving of food then gave a smile as the matriarch spoke again For Aria, the new bell that rings vitality into our lives. Bringer of a new mate and fighter of the dark animals. I felt my hand fall to her shoulder as her accomplishments were described. Was I suddenly proud of her? I was uncertain of the emotions I was feeling at that moment. However, I felt her humility as she seemed to reflect on previous events.

Then, the Matriarch turned to the pair, food was then placed in front of them by Aitsu. Then she spoke to them as well:

Aina and Aika, the first of the community who brought us to prosperity. your unborn children await the bright potential that you will bring them!

With food all but served out, Aria gave me the slightest nudge, then brought the food to her mouth but did not bite. I followed suit , I noticed that the Ralts did not seem to care as it happily began eating freely.
For us, the leaders. May we continue to serve you, our family. May fate be kind to us, and may the new family that Aria and her mate represent bring us new vitality! I did a double take just in time for everyone to suddenly bite into the fruit.

Family? Was I suddenly included into that?

I quickly followed suit realizing that I was partaking in this ceremony as well. Therefore, I decided that I would be better off saving such thoughts for later.

I couldn't help but to notice that the mornings ceremonies were different than the ones I had previously observed. Rather than it being short and to the point, this one seemed longer. More drawn out. I watched Aria eat her fruits while I slowly consumed mine. Had it not been for the pain in my shoulder and the difficulty chewing, I probably would have eaten quicker.

But then, I noticed that even though I was uncertain about how long I had been out, I was still not very hungry. I attributed this tentatively to the fact that my body was trying to focus on healing the rather serious wounds which still throbbed with pain. Though it was muted by some method I was unaware of.

As I ate, I thought about the blunted pain. Usually it was some form of painkiller which did this. However, I did not feel the effects of such pain killers. I usually felt the keen grip of slightly altered mental states whenever I took high strength pain killers. This time however, I felt fully awake despite the fact that my injuries still seemed very fresh.

I must have stopped eating at some point as I suddenly heard Arias voice in my head Is there a problem my Beh Sze?

I lowered my arm, then looked at her as she said that.

What does that mean? I found myself asking without even realizing that the question was being asked.

What does what mean? came her almost endearingly innocent reply.

I waved the fruit distractedly as I formulated the question Sometimes when you talk to me, you refer to me strictly as 'Beh Sze' but you do it without any clear pattern other than referring to me. I said.

She considered my question for the longest moment, then grinned happily It's what you should call me too Beh Sze, only if you are to refer to me, it would be ses frau! her face grew excited as she then proceeded to elaborate. It's what all caim duc ... mates call one another!

Mates. Caim duc.

Aria, I found myself asking her. Does Beh sze mean lover? Or does it mean something like husband and wife? I asked. I tried using a few examples so that if I was incorrect, at least I could figure out the pattern to this strange ritual.

She gave me a perplexed look then asked me What does husband and wife mean?
I felt my head drop as those words were unknown to her. I shouldn't be surprised. If she is speaking to my mind, then it is probably being made to that I can understand it from her native tongue. Thus, I shouldn't be surprised that certain words do not translate.

With a thought, I tried to draw an analogy using words I had heard them both speak before Husband and wife are two mates that will spend their lives together. They love one another and are devoted to one another. I sat back slowly, minding my shoulder as I finished the explanation. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the Matriarch looking on with a faint look of amusing in her eye.

Aria finally gave a wide smile before she nodded! A Beh sze and ses frau have pleged their caim duc to one another just like you said! We are two mates who will spend our lives together in caim duc because we have caim duc... love for one another!

Even though her explanation was something of a shock. I was momentarily astonished with how easily those words flowed from her lips. I gave her the most searching expression I could, then felt a wave of nausea overtake me. My eyes closed for a moment as I felt my head and chest sag forward suddenly as the full weight of her words sunk in. I was uncertain about how to really take this though. In fact, as she said those words such such an innocent smile on her face, I actually found it endearing. Like she was the most innocent being in the universe at this moment. I didn't even know how to feel anymore. Sitting there so innocently, this Female Gardevoir who I have only known for a grand total of three days manages to say with a straight face and a heart full of mirth that I am now wed to her, and that she and I are somehow lovers.

I mean, ok. Sure, there was this weird interaction that we have going on. And sure, I feel like the two of us are apparently one unit. And Sure, MAYBE we shared a moment that seemed to transcend space and time. And The possibility certainly existed that I might have actually enjoyed the sensation of waking up next to her despite not remembering how in the hell I got here. And why the hell not? I was grateful for her saving my life shortly ago when I got attacked and nearly died! And I was fascinated by how she seemed to understand me well enough.

But lovers?

Once the shock wore off though...

Was... Was that what it was?

Just before I was attacked, I had the distinct impression that watching them was wrong. I felt, for a few moments before I nearly died, like I shouldn't be this deceptive. Was that guilt? Or was it longing? Was it because I felt too attached to them to be objective? Or was it that Objectivity died the moment that Aria found my hide and proceeded to make contact with me?
Was it really such a short time ago that I looked on at their daily routines in such a dispassionate expression?

I felt the fruit suddenly be extracted from my hand. A three fingered hand placed itself onto my cheek, then gently lifted my chin up so that my eyes were met by hers.

Beh sze, when you were attacked, you called out to me. In that moment, your heart reached out desperate to find mine. Your heart had been affected by a realization that you belonged here, sitting with us, having such a wonderful morning. You longed for it. It was because you and I shared our hearts with each other those 5 nights ago. When I came to your camp and you showed me where you and that human were staying. We felt each other. But you weren't ready for it. So, I simply gave you the space you needed. But now you are here and you are home finally. You no longer have to only feel my emotions to know what it is that we both want. The thing that you have always missed in life is right in front of you. As long as you reach out, your family... me, your ses frau, shall be here to help you see the path you wish to walk. Her voice carried with it the comfort and confidence I found myself endeared to. Like a light, it penetrated the storm of my heart which beat an uncertain rhythm to the discordant path I found myself on.

I...called out to you? I decided to seek clarification. I felt like it meant that in all the world, if I was dying, the one I called out to would be the one I wanted most.

Our hearts, when we face trials, seek concordance. If you had never known me, it would perhaps be your mother. Or even that Amelia woman... Regardless of who it is, you would have sought for the one who was most important to you. Her palm fell into mine as she said that. Our hearts have begun to intertwine...

I felt something stir in me as she said those words. It was an uncertain stirring. As if some emotion that I hadn't felt in many many lifetimes stirred upon being summoned. I looked at her, with an innocent yet loving expression on her face whilst her hand danced along my palm. She could feel the distant stirrings of a greater emotion, but did not push that. Rather, She gently placed the fruit into my hands, then raised her hand up to rub my cheek. Now then, it is important that my mate finishes his meal. You are still injured and without food in your stomach, you will never get better There was a tone to her voice as she gave me this instruction. Like a mother trying to be strict with a child that was not really misbehaving. I found it adorable, then began to slowly comply with her wishes.

By around 10am, I had finished my meal, then found myself still sitting in Arias hammock like bed. For some reason, I found my current position comfortable enough that the balance between rocking and falling out seemed to have a net calming effect. I watched as Aria took to playing with the ralts again while the Matriarch and Aitsu conferred with Aika and Aina concerning the eggs. All four of them were watching two eggs in particular. It seemed that those eggs were expected to hatch at any time. In fact, noises could be heard coming from within.

If it wasn't for the occasional bout of lightheadedness, I would have enjoyed the scene more. However, and against my better judgement, I found my attention focused on Aria once more.

She was teaching the ralts another song. While the vocalizations were essentially useless to me save for finding the tune, I did manage to catch a lyric as she sang it. You, you are in my heart, You are in my mind~ So, as I love you, so,so love me too, The most tender desires, I alone feel for only you!

She repeated this simple little lyric, then allowed the Ralts to rejoin.

I realized that she was teaching the Ralts how to sing.

She was teaching the ralts how to sing. Her and her alone was teaching it how to sing.

The researcher part of my mind fairly rang with alarm as the thought occurred to me. However, the more curious part of my mind noticed that she had turned to me, vocalizing the tune.

It... It was tempting to get up and walk over to her...

In fact, I wanted to for some reason. There was a part of me that seemed to be accepting the situation as it was. I had to admit that there was a part of me that enjoyed this moment of sitting in a hammock like vine bed, On a warm summers morning, watching someone I was apparently mated to sing to a child, while the birds sang softly overhead. I guess it was the sap in me.

I soon found myself slowly standing up instead.
This was the first substantial motion that I had completed in an unknown number of days. As such, my legs began supporting my weight with a great uncertainty. My left knee fairly shok as it took on the weight of my body. So, I leaned slowly to one side, allowing my good arm and knee to do most of the heavy work. As I stood to my full height, I felt another round of lightheadedness come on. However, before I could loose my balance to it, I felt comforting arms wrap around my waist. Supporting and guiding me.

It was her.

Was this love? Did I even know that that word even was? Did I have the right to claim that feeling of my own? These thoughts were swept away by a wave of calm that enveloped me. It wasn't through that hand contact this time though. I got the distinct feeling as though our interactions were entirely telepathic at this point.

You didn't have to help me stand up. I stubbornly and quietly said.

Nonsense Beh sze! That's what you even have me for! She all but chirped.

Slowly, We made our way out of the shelter and into the field that bordered the Settlement. I shifted my weight so that I was heavily leaning on one leg, thus sparing her the burden of having to support so much of my weight. I suddenly felt a wave of guilt as my entire reason for getting up was because I wanted to see the surroundings from their viewpoint.

I glanced around, then found a large rock which jutted up from the ground. She felt my intentions well before I did as we slowly began to make our way towards it. Then, she slowly helped me to settle down onto it. A wave of relief passed through me as my body was no longer stressed by the act of moving. However, I found myself looking at her with an expression of concern on my face.

Aria, what do you even feel for me? I found myself asking her.

She gave a small smile as she walked around in front of me, then, very elegantly sat herself down before me. Her head cocked to the side as she contemplated the question. When you and I spoke, She held up her hand, indicating that she was referring to the contact we established on my second day here You and I communicated using a method which allows us to forgo the slow blossoming of friendship. We linked together to understand one another. I would not do that had you not shown your heart to me.

I was apparently confused as she placed her small hand on my chest. While the contact initially hurt, I was able to see through the pain enough to feel the spreading warmth. The Gardevoirs heart is our most powerful prize. We see the world through our heart. While you think the world, we are immersed in it. As such, when you and I joined our hearts, I saw the qualities of you that made you a wonderful person. You and I have opened ourselves to one another in a way that transcends the need for speech. You have felt it right? how intricately and ornately we experience each others emotions? That can only arise when two hearts begin beating as one, as our have done. She raised her hand to my face, then placed the back of it to my cheek. Almost instinctively I felt my good hand reach up, then hold it.

Whether you fully realize it, the bond we have created is so subtle that we can think it isn't even there. All of us though, we learn from this bond. And the bond we grow is part of what being a gardevoir is. For, in the end, the bond we grow from that feeling you call love, is what we define.
I chose you as my mate because of the bond we forged on that day.

I felt my head sag. But I'm not a gardevoir. I found myself saying to her. I'm a human. The obvious problem finally was being aired. Don't you find it peculiar? Are you even sure that we can mate? That I can even give you a family? I was wrong on this, I knew it as I said it. I was wrong because I was trying to take a simplistic approach. And I felt self remorse as I asked it.

We won't know if we don't try. She said simply.

How... blissful, it must be, I thought, to be her.

I suddenly felt her small hand rest upon my cheek, drawing my attention to her face. And even if we cannot, it does not matter. mating is more than having children. It is the path we walk. The corridors of feeling that we are surrounded by. The lives we share and live from here out.

Damn her. I smiled as the thought crossed my mind. There was a sense of logic there that I found myself incapable of fighting. That it didn't matter what the biological purpose of mates were. What mattered was the sensation. The affirmation that I felt through her. Affirmation of life. The experience that defined ones life. Nothing mattered in the end except that.

I stopped fighting it. Everything I threw at her would be similarly deflected. Every objection I could dream up would sound hollow and trite. Rather, every objection I could dream up was entirely for my own ears. I needed to understand from a different perspective. I needed to let go of this urge to deny what I have in favor for platitudes. I needed to stop running.

I needed to start again.

I looked at her again. I look in her somewhat radiant features. Her innocent smile, her eyes that mixed with cerulean like a sunset on the ocean. Her sylph like body. Fragile looking and, in a way, pure.

With a smile, I finally nodded to her.

do you want to know what's funny? I suddenly asked.

Of course! she all but chirped in response. As I looked at her, I could all but feel the anticipation roiling off of her. She seemed to hang onto every word I said without any hesitation. She seemed genuinely interested in understanding me.

At least, I think she did.

I'm actually scared to death of this. I mean, you saved my life, and that alone is more than I can ever express in words. My gratitude cannot be articulated and expressed enough about this. But, I am terrified if what I feel is what you feel... I feel like my subjective experience of the emotions you radiate are somehow getting in the way of seeing how you really feel. I am trying to justify to myself that what you feel isn't what I define as love. But that you are infatuated. But there's something more to it.

Her smile dropped as she considered what I said. I got the feeling that how I said it came off wrong. I am talking to a being of pure emotion. She probably understands emotion better than I will ever be able to. She experiences it on levels that are nearly intoxicating. But I speak of it like I have some kind of understanding? The arrogance!

Isn't... it normal to be afraid? She asked. Beh Sze, when you and your friend came to our territory, I was frightened. When I saw you watching us, I was afraid. When you nearly died, I felt as if your death would have been the death of me. Why is it wrong to be afraid? I know what it is you feel. I can feel the conflict and the turmoil. The utter lack of desire to harm me. And I especially feel your fondness. How you struggle with yourself. Your conflict plays out in waves you are unaware you broadcast. Yet I can feel the tumultuous emotions that you fight to restrain. But, I can feel how they tear you apart. The day you were attacked, I felt your mind begin to slip. I was worried that someone had given you a feedback of guilt. That someone in our tet ze had done this to you despite the Mothers desire to leave you alone. I realized then what you felt for me. Your desire to be with us, your guilt at watching us. Your attempts at holding back your friendship. Beh sze, your emotions are only a secret to yourself! She never let her eyes leave me. Yet as she spoke, she slowly walked towards me. Gently taking my hand in hers.
As she continued speaking, the cascade of emotions swept over us, once more. Her hand motions took the lead in articulating this. I approached you that day because I felt your desire to be a part of us growing. You watched us in fascination. You were absorbed in our cultural beliefs even if you couldn't understand it. When the others fell asleep that day, I intentionally approached you because I wanted you to leave that dark hole you were living in and sit with us in the light. I wanted to let you know you were welcome.

She glanced at our hands for a moment. The intricate motions of our interlinked hands slowed to a more sedate pace. Punctuated by a gentle rhythm in syncronization with a warm fondness. When we touched, I felt your emotions. I felt a growing sense of attraction. More than anything though, I felt that you looked at me as with love in your eyes. Love that had begun to bloom without you even knowing it. I felt my heart swell. I felt elated when I felt this! Feeling the small bud of love growing. I was ecstatic! She said as a pulse of happiness emanated. I could finally bond with someone! I could join hands with them and we could speak as equals! No longer would I have to walk alone. I felt her relief in those words. Pushed through by my memories of that day. I could share my love for my life with someone else who felt the same! This relief that I felt that day helped me to understand just why I had felt this way in the first place. Beh sze, the day I taught you this. Our fra cu sche, the feelings you felt that day were not just mine. They were your own. They were our emotions syncronizing with one another. We fed into one another with these feelings we currently are tied by.

With a smile, she suddenly gripped my fingers, then rolled our hands together.
So why deny what we both feel? Why stand on what we think we should feel? Why not just free ourselves and allow ourselves to love?

I... was rendered speechless by her words.

I felt my bad arm gently reach out, shakily though, then place my hand on her waist, just below her crystalline shard. I felt my arm slowly pull at her, indicating my desire for her closeness.
Her body came close to mine. Her chest adjusted to allow closeness without her shard getting in the way. We found ourselves in a mutual embrace. Fueled by my gratitude to her for taking the initiative to show me just what it was I felt. Any other person might have taken offense at being told how they felt. But she saw through me. She saw through my pedantic attempts at maintaining an illusion of knowing the bonds shared in family. She forced me to confront them, but never once did I feel it as insistent. Rather, it grew organically from an awareness she had at me trying to hide behind a calm, detached exterior. I allowed myself to feel for a moment, something falling away.

I know what it was, though at the time, I was afraid of it leaving. The reluctance I felt at allowing her in was the natural result of me not wanting to be hurt again. I didn't, initially, want to let her past the defenses I built to keep me safe. Of all the petty things I didn't want, this one was obvious:

I just didn't want to be hurt again.

Aria, I kept trying to push you away because I was acting selfish... I found myself saying. I didn't want you in. I didn't want the feeling of closeness because I feared the most simplistic thing. I didn't want to be hurt like I had been before. I wanted to trust, but to do that, I would have to try and have both at once, which is impossible. The safety and the sensation of closeness.
When you and I first... connected, it was like you saw right through to my core with no effort. Like your presence was so strong that there was no way I could ever not want to walk side by side with you. I felt like I was saying nothing at this point. I felt like I was rambling, thanking her without saying the words, trying to comprehend and articulate that which defies explanation.

It was clumbsy, but I did manage to say the most important thing I am attracted to you. I want to know more about you. I want to know why you laugh, where you have been, what your future is, why you like the water so much... and I want to know if we can understand our own hearts. I... feel like I want to be with you... And what kills me is that I know that I feel love... I was terrified when I woke up and you just began calling me that. But I know why... Whatever those words mean, it's because that day, when I was attacked. I felt regret. I felt ashamed that I was going to die and I didn't even tell you that I think I was in love with you... I guess sappier people would be crying at this. Me, I just shut off my filter and let my heart speak for once.

My eyes shifter to look at her aquamarine hair. I wanted to bury my face in it, and learn more about her. I felt Eros in that moment. Yet, somehow, I did not feel desire in the way I usually did. Rather, I simply wanted.

For what could have been a while, we stayed like that. Though I suspect it was only a few minutes. In this embrace, our hearts felt like they were all but one. Our emotions seemed to resonate with each other. Oddly enough, I could, in fact, feel that. I want to think it was our bond, but I think that the moment we embraced and I let her in, when things began to change, it was more than just our feelings for one another. The bond we forged soon before I was attacked, was strengthened here, on a field, near a small pond, in a forgotten piece of backwoods wilderness that nobody ever bothered to explore.

Instead. When we finally broke our embrace, and she helped me back up, while we worked together to get me back to the communal area, it was really one entity that walked back. At that moment, our lives had been intrinsically linked. Our emotional selves were entirely dependent on the other. Without one, the other would have fallen apart.

We were Henoisis from that moment forth. And it honestly felt right...

30 June 3130.
Field Camp.
1930.

The failing light brought a bright moon to the sky which helped Amelia to navigate her way back to their field camp. Knowing Rowan, he would probably be closing down shop for now. Since he was closer to camp than she was, she had no doubt that he would be getting some food cooked right about then.

She gave a small grin. Or maybe, she mused, he was lazy enough to live off that reprocessed garbage he calls a meal every day. The man was mal-nourished though. Sure, he could make some good coffee and his eggs and biscuits with gravy were up to muster. But when you get down to it, he lacked the finesse to really make a good meal. She had been gone almost a week now. Much longer than she intended. But then, she mused with a darkened expression. It was a needed thing to do.

Sometime in the next few days the University should be checking in on them. The big satellite video down link was pretty much for that exact reason. Despite being close enough to the cities, the distance still prevented their usual phones from working all the way out here. So, they had to lug in the expensive goodies.

Truth be told, even Rowan was impressed by the full video conferencing suite that was going to be on the load she had retrieved before leaving. He didn't seem like the type who minded going a few days without talking to another person. However, she thought with a mischievous smile, since that Aquamarine pokemon came around, he seemed rather fond of it.

Perhaps it was just how different it looked. Or maybe he thought it was cute. Either way, she thought with a light laugh. There was plenty of room for messing with him. He would probably get so flustered that she could butter him up enough to convince him to take an off day and catch a freaking pokemon with her or something.

These idle thoughts bounced through the older teens head as she finally came up to where the campsite was. Since It was dark, she had taken to watching her feet first and foremost. Therefore, as she stopped then looked up, the shock at what she saw was only intensified.

The entire camp site was in ruins. Her tent was alright. Collapsed but no real damage. But Rowans tent and the work tent were shredded. Bits of metal were scattered around. Food was ripped apart and clothing lay in ribbons.

Her eyes darted around as she took stock of the damage, then she turned and ran as fast as she could to the observation hide.

As she arrived at it, she felt her heart sink.
Everything was in ruins. The cover had been blown off and was half missing, the entire bushworks was missing on one side and a large chunk on the opposite side was gone. The camera was smashed to pieces and its parts scattered around.

As she was examining the camera, she felt her blood turn to ice.

There was blood on the metal fragments.

Not just a little blood. This place was all but bathed in it. The blood streak was visible in the collapsed section where it was chaotically scattered around the ground. She felt her feet heavily carry her down the hill, following the trail of blood as it was sprayed across a tree, then was scattered in the clearing itself. She knelt down, then looked at it. There was a long dried pool here, yet, what she saw around her was enough to turn her stomach.

Usually in battles with pokemon, there could be some scratches. Maybe a little blood.
But not like this.
Whatever happened here was all but a slaughter.
She raised her flashlight back to the large pool then realized that the blood could only have belonged to one person.

Rowan.

She felt a whimpering cry come to her throat as she realized that her selfishness just got a friend she was beginning to like killed. Her whimpers escaped in the form of hesitant noise filled gasps. Her mind abstractedly wondered if this was the end of her education as a Poochyheena field researcher. That she would never get the chance to become a researcher all because she did something as self centered as go see her mother who, it turned out, just was feeling ill and checked herself into the hospital due to her hypochondria.

It was so stupid! She felt her rage rise as she hit the ground, then began slamming her hands into the ground. Her hands clenched desperately at the grass, then ripped some up. It was only when she realized that some of the grass kept sticking to her hand, that she stopped then looked at why.

On her hand was blood.

In her panicked state, she beat her hand against her skirt trying to get it off. In the process, her flashlights beam was sent askew. In the dancing light, her eyes caught something that made her instantly forget the blood on her hand.

The blood was smeared. It was as if someone had dragged a body away.

Her mind raced. An impossible series of connections flew together as she felt herself arising at a conclusion. Yet even before the conclusion was entirely reached, she felt a surging anger rise in her. The more she was made aware of it, the stronger it became. It all but boiled in her blood as she came to a conclusion which sent it into a rage.

It was THEM!

THEY were responsible!

She looked in the direction with a resolve that came from the cold logic of cause and effect.
They clearly were dangerous. They had killed a human. They had killed her friend.
Rowan did nothing wrong. Rowan had too much affection for them to raise a hand in anger.
He posed no threat to them. And still, they killed him.

Her rage guiding her, she set forth into the pale moonlight.

A/N: There was a lot I needed to cover in this chapter. Most importantly, Rowans conflict was a moment for me. His reluctance, his confusion and his acceptance were tapped from me allowing myself some serious emotional searching. But more importantly, This chapter does a lot to introduce what the 2nd and 3rd acts focus on. There is a delicate dance at work that I felt myself moving through. But, I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge a fellow user. In his writing, Fractured Unity, Edge Feyera introduces the concept of complex high cultural behavior in the Gardevoir species. When I was reading his work, the gem for this story was born in a question I found myself asking: What was Gardevoir culture anyways?

I wanted to hint at a few discoveries that Rowan would make from here on out, but I really hope I was subtle enough. More importantly, I was curious in just what a complex emotional species perception of their love was. I kept on feeling myself riding waves of inspiration for this chapter. I intentionally left the date empty at the top because our entire way of keeping track was through Rowan. After being injured and in and out of consciousness for days at a time, there is no way that he knew. That 5 day gap will be slowly filled in. And it is important too. As I wrote their confessions, I was fully under the understanding that there had to be more at play. In the intervening time, they must have somehow bonded further. With their emotional states, it is impossible that they didn't.

Finally, the naming convention.
I began coming up with their proper names based mostly upon music. To me, music is the conveyance of emotion. In music, we find in ourselves the feelings we might be unfamiliar with. Seeing as how Aria was teaching the young Ralts to sing, I felt it appropriate that she embodied this. I hope to expand upon this music motif as I continue the story.

A final note: This is the only chapter which will not include some measure of field notes. He will summarize the events of the past 5 days, but as this was entirely beyond what he had expected to have happened, and due to the fact that he was seriously injured. There was no expectation that his first conscious day would result in him dutifully trying to give an objective account of a subjective experience.

It is my sincerest wish that you too like the story enough to follow it through to the end. I cannot say how far along we are yet. I keep on going through revisions for chapter 12 on out. I feel like I am closing in on just what I want to accomplish, but the path to getting there is hard to find.

Thank you again.

Dani