The Easter Chapter is here! Yay!

Hiding in the Shadow: I'm glad I at least suck less. Maybe I will suck even lesser after you have read this one? Let me know :D

It's Too Late To Cry: I'm sorry I made you cry, though somehow I'm also happy about it :D I'm glad you were touched by the last chapters and I hope the crying will stop with this one!

FleurSuoh: Should I be worried that I quite like the idea of being the One Writer to rule them all? Probably xD But anyway, there's hope and you'll see where that takes us in this chapter :D

Chachi544: *hides fish behind back* I haven't seen it anywhere lately. Strange, isn't it?

BorysBorys: I'm afraid, the 'everybody dies' scenario was a bit too much for my little heart. I went with the 'a lot of people die' scenario instead :D

Akilah Swiftblade: Well, firstly, I'm really sorry about killing them. But… well… no, there's no excuse, I'm just plain evil. And secondly, where do you get all that fish from? xD

Nameless: Why always the fish? *sighs* I feel like I could have done that barrel-scene with the dwarves in DOS now. I seem to be a natural with fish. And to answer your question: I just had to have people suffer, and the sweetest people are often the ones who suffer the most pain, so it had to be Bofur and Ori. But I really am sorry for it! We will have more time for them during the next chapters to see where their loss leads them :)

RippahGoneWolf: Because I like crushing souls? Who knows, I'm evil, I'll do anything xD I'll just take your cursing as a compliment and hope you'll be happy with the newest chapter :D

Thanks to Eruwaedhiel95, filimeala, Adalyn, My mother is a koala, Teshka, Dalonega Noquisi, RellaRose100, kaia, Guest and Rissa for your reviews! I really, really loved reading from you all!

And thanks to those who favourited and followed!

Now, this chapter is quite long and it has a few jumps in time, which I hope will make sense. Just so you know :)

And now I won't hold you off any longer. Go, read, and let me know what you think!

Happy Easter, you lovely people, eat a lot of chocolate bunnies! :D

Voices.

Whispers, more precisely. That was what Kili first became aware of. Quiet, dull murmurs filled his ears, as he didn't know where he was or what had happened. He couldn't decipher any of the muffled voices around him, couldn't tell to whom they belonged, even though they seemed familiar.

It took Kili more effort than he would have thought to open his eyes, and as he escaped from the all-consuming numbing darkness that had held him prisoner for an unknown amount of time, he blinked heavily against the dim light that filled whatever room he was in. There was not much light here, but it was enough to give Kili a headache.

"Kili?"

Another voice, this time louder and clearer. Kili blinked again, his half-open eyes slowly adjusting to the dim light of the torches that lit the ceiling. A face appeared in his field of vision, though it was blurry at first and it took the young dwarf a few moments until he could focus his gaze on the person that was looking at him. Oin sent him a worried look, deep lines lining his forehead.

"Lad?" the healer asked with concern, his voice a bit too loud for Kili's ears. "Can you hear me?"

Kili wanted to say yes, wanted to ask the healer to speak more quietly but merely a choked and hoarse sound fell from his lips, his throat too dry to form any words. He swallowed tightly, his own saliva scratching his throat uncomfortably as he looked up at the old dwarf. Oin just nodded, observing him intently as Kili swallowed another few times until he had regained his voice at least a bit.

"Wh…what… h-happened?" he asked croakily, and he stretched his fingers against the sheets of the bed he was apparently lying in, trying to push himself up into a sitting position. This, however, proved to be a horrible idea, for immediately a searing pain flashed through his upper body, tearing a breathless wheeze from his mouth. He grimaced gravely, clenching his teeth together tightly as to not voice his pain out loud.

"You should lay still, laddie," Oin mumbled as he carefully pushed him back onto the mattress. It was only then that Kili really started to wonder, and really started to remember. The last time when he'd had his eyes open, he had been lying on the battlefield, bleeding out with Fili by his side. He had been dying. They both had been, Kili knew. But here he was, the young dwarf thought, alive against all odds. The question was where exactly he was now? And if he was here then where was –

"F-Fili?" the brunet dwarf ground out worriedly, again trying to sit up and look around for his brother almost out of reflex only to be pushed down by Oin once more, a bit firmer this time. Kili winced in pain as he shot the healer a half angry and half pleading look, his eyes now wide with simple desperation. He needed to know where his brother was, or else he would lose his mind in a matter of seconds. He needed Oin to tell him that Fili was alive. He needed to hear that his brother had survived and that he had not been left to die on the battlefield alone.

Kili's breathing became heavier as he involuntarily pictured his big brother, lively blue eyes staring dully and unseeing into the grey sky above, as he lay dead on the cold ground. Kili's breath hitched without him even noticing and his eyes were wide when Oin gripped his shoulder a bit tighter, squeezing slightly to regain the prince's attention.

"He's alive," the healer said to calm him down, though he sounded somewhat reluctant to say it. Oin shortly leaned back to reveal the pallet that was situated on the other side of the room and Kili quickly turned his head in the direction, tears of relief forming in his eyes as he saw his brother lying there, his chest moving slightly with every breath he took. It looked like he was sleeping. He was all right, Kili thought, he was just sleeping. "For now. We are not sure whether he will wake. We weren't sure you would, either. You were both gravelly wounded, Kili."

The young dwarf looked back at Oin upon his serious words, remembering the pain that had been brought down on him during the battle. The situation was still all too clearly imprinted in his mind. Kili swallowed tightly before he carefully turned his head and shot a glance down his own body. Practically his whole torso was wrapped in tight bandages, his left shoulder as well. Oin followed his gaze with a small sigh.

"We stitched you up as best we could," the old dwarf said quietly, his eyes shortly lingering on the bandages around Kili's body before he shot the young prince a careful look. "We took the arrow from your shoulder and took care of the large wound across your upper body. I won't lie to you, laddie, you will have nasty scars. But that's still better than being dead if you ask me, isn't it?"

Oin paused for a moment as Kili listened to him silently, not giving a reply as he stared at his injured body. The healer slightly cleared his throat as he heard someone enter the tent behind them. "You are very lucky you're still alive. Both you and your brother. Your wounds would have killed you had we found you any later, and had we not had the help of the elves. They aided us in healing you and Fili, though I'm afraid they…"

Kili looked up as Oin trailed off uncertainly, his gaze now questioning and confused as he looked at the healer. "They what?" the young dwarf asked as the old dwarf didn't continue. But it was not the grey-haired dwarf that answered, but a voice from behind him.

"They could do nothing for your uncle, Kili." Dwalin stated as he came into view and it was then that the memory of Thorin's lifeless body and his uncle's blood on his hands hit Kili like a bolt of lightning. The brunet took a sharp breath upon the bald warrior's revelation, feeling his wounds protest as the bandages stretched over his fresh scars. Kili shook his head, his gaze involuntarily falling onto his own hands that were clean now. No more trace of blood on them. Kili clenched his eyes together to keep the tears from falling as the cruel reality sank into his conscious mind. Dwalin stepped closer until he was standing by the bed, his mouth a thin line as he looked at the prince compassionately.

"No," Kili whispered hoarsely, lifting one heavy arm to put a hand over his eyes as he shook his head repeatedly. His voice broke. "No… no… no…"

"Thorin is dead, Kili," Dwalin muttered in between what sounded almost like chanting from the young dwarf, compassion and sadness in his voice as he watched Kili's anguish with a heavy heart. He slowly reached out, but before he could put a hand on Kili's shoulder, the young dwarf whipped his own hand away from his face, his jaw clenched as he stared at the ceiling, tears shimmering in his dark orbs and one by one escaping his eyes to slowly roll down his cheeks.

"Who else?"

Dwalin hesitated upon the brunet's question, not quite knowing what to say even though he was almost sure what Kili was talking about. The injured dwarf let out an almost pitiful growl that had more resemblance to a whine than anything else, Dwalin thought.

"Who else is dead, Dwalin?!"

"Bifur," Dwalin complied quietly, clearing his throat. "And Bombur. Nori and Dori."

Kili's body trembled silently as he tried to withhold his tears without any success. He did not take his gaze away form the shadows that were dancing on the ceiling when he spoke next, his voice hoarse and raw. "What… what about…?"

Dwalin didn't have to hear the end of that sentence to know what Kili was asking. And he dreaded to give him the answer. He cleared his throat quietly, exchanging a small glance with Bilbo who had lingered by the entrance, watching the scene silently.

"She's… alive," the bald warrior spoke slowly and he saw Kili close his eyes upon his words. "Barely. She was wounded badly. And she was more dead than alive when I found her. Her injuries would have been mortal had it not been for that grey wolf."

"Arkin…" Kili provided quietly without opening his eyes. Dwalin just nodded as the prince's lips formed a tight line.

"Yes, that one," he said stiffly. "The elves say he shared her pain and that he has saved her with it. He has died for her to live, though we do not know whether she truly will yet. It has been five days and she has not gotten any better yet."

"I-I need to… to see her," Kili mumbled as he opened his eyes again, his brown eyes hazy as he tried once more to push himself up. This time, he ignored Oin as the healer tried to stop him, and with a painful groan he drew himself into a sitting position on the pallet. Dwalin shook his head as he watched the prince's face scrunch up in pain, a thin sheen of sweat forming on his forehead while his chest heaved and his jaw was twitching as he tried not to let it show.

"You can't, Kili," the bald warrior said sternly, holding the young dwarf back by the shoulder. "You have only just woken up after almost four days of unconsciousness. You are not strong enough to sit, let alone wander the camp to visit anyone."

"Where is she?" Kili just asked in reply, shooting the dwarf before him an angry look that had Dwalin a bit taken aback for a moment.

"She's in a different tent," Bilbo offered quietly from where he still stood by the entrance, causing Kili's head to whip around to him. His eyes widened slightly as he became aware of the hobbit for the first time. Bilbo shot the brunet a small smile that was supposed to be calming but didn't reach the hobbit's eyes. "She's perfectly safe there. Gandalf is with her and Thranduil."

"Oh yes, because leaving her with the elves worked out so well the last time," Kili ground out through clenched teeth as he shot the hobbit a dark look. He tried to get up again but failed as his body sank back against the mattress of its own volition without Dwalin having to do much else. Bilbo looked pitifully at the dwarf for a moment until he spoke again.

"Balin is with her, as well."

Kili still didn't look convinced but he didn't have enough time or strength to protest any longer as Dwalin spoke again, trying to appease the young dwarf.

"Lie down, Kili," Dwalin murmured quietly as Kili shot him a sceptical look. "There will be enough time for all of this once you have regained some strength."

Those were words that in Dwalin's mind might have sounded comforting, but for Kili they only meant that there would be time to truly realize what the aftermath of the battle had brought. And he wasn't sure if he truly wanted to find out.

Light.

That was what started to pull Fili away from the darkness he had found himself in for so long. The darkness that had numbed his pain and his sorrow ever since he had lost consciousness on the battlefield.

Fili remembered it all. Painfully. The images were so clear and vibrant in his head that it scared him. Fili remembered how he had been forced to watch helplessly as his brother had been slashed and pierced by sword and arrow. He remembered the strange ripping pain that had shot through him as he had been hit by two more arrows that had been meant for Kili. Fili remembered hearing his brother's shallow breaths as they had lain beside their uncle until everything had disappeared around them. He even still remembered Kili's last words to him, when he had told him to shut up and remembered how comforting he had found it for their last words to each other to be spoken with laughter.

He could have died like this, Fili thought quietly to himself, as the light became brighter. So bright that Fili almost felt blinded even with his eyes still closed. He didn't dare open them, even though he knew he could, for he feared what he would find when he did. Fili feared the reality that awaited him.

But the light was becoming more and more disturbing with its unrelenting brightness and finally, the blond dwarf groaned lowly as his eyes fluttered slowly open. Though he had to clench them shut immediately upon the bright light that filled the room, it had been enough time to see the dark figure standing by what had appeared to be an open fire on the other side of the room.

Again, Fili tried to open his eyes, slowly this time as to letting them adjust to the light. And once he could see clearly, he had time to realize where he was. He was lying on a large bed in a chamber that was lit by firelight that was actually not that bright on second thought. It had only seemed like it because he had been surrounded by darkness for so long, Fili thought as he let his gaze wander to the figure standing by the fireplace.

It didn't take him long to recognize the silhouette of his little brother and upon seeing Kili, joy filled the blond dwarf's heart. Relief flooded over him as he realized that his little brother was alive and well, and had in fact not died beside him on the battlefield. Only on second thought did Fili realize that him being here and seeing Kili meant that he had actually not died, either.

Bracing his hands against the sheets of the bed, Fili tried to push himself up, or at least get into a more comfortable position. But his body protested and a low groan left his throat, the noise enough to alert Kili that something was going on. Fili looked up almost sheepishly at the same time that the brunet turned around and Fili's eyes widened slightly upon the sight of his little brother. Though this time not out of joy but out of concern.

His little brother looked horrible. Kili's face was pale and dark circles had formed around his tired eyes. Kili looked more exhausted than Fili had ever seen him, and he frowned worriedly at him at the same time that Kili's eyebrows rose in surprise.

"You're awake!" the brunet exclaimed almost disbelievingly, looking at Fili with wide eyes as he quickly took a few steps closer. Fili now pushed himself up against the headboard of the bed with some difficulty, ignoring the sharp pain the action caused. He simply nodded as the blanket that had covered him before slid down to his hips, revealing his bandaged torso. A small frown came to play on the blond dwarf's face as he looked down at his own body and Kili quietly cleared his throat when he noticed it, causing Fili to look back up at him.

"I didn't dream that, then," Fili muttered quietly and Kili shook his head in a sad manner, though a small huff similar to a chuckle fell from his lips.

"None of it," he confirmed bitterly in a low murmur as he slowly took a seat on the edge of the bed. Fili looked at his brother worriedly as he shortly pressed his lips together. "You almost died, Fee. Both of us. It's only thanks to unbelievable luck and the power of the elves' healing abilities that we are still here."

Kili's voice was reserved, careful. And of course, it didn't escape Fili's notice, for it was nothing like his Kili's voice usually sounded. The blond dwarf shot his brother an inquisitive look, searching his face for what he was hesitant to tell him. He saw the sad expression in Kili's usually lively and joyful eyes, and it didn't take Fili very long to figure out what his brother was trying to keep from telling him.

"We failed, didn't we?"

Kili didn't look up at him as his eyes closed in exhaustion for a second and Fili knew he was right.

"We couldn't save uncle," he concluded quietly, feeling his heart grow heavy with the realization as Kili glanced back up at him, a thin veil of tears covering his brown eyes. The brunet dwarf didn't say anything, he didn't even nod, but Fili still found all he needed to know in his little brother's eyes. Fili could only bring himself to nod jerkily in acknowledging of the news, trying to grasp what all this meant and at the same swallow past the uncomfortable lump that had built in his throat.

"It's not just him," Kili muttered quietly, his voice not much more than a whisper in the big room. "Ori's brothers have both died, as have Bifur and Bombur."

"I-… " Fili broke off, not sure what he actually wanted to say. Not sure if there even was something to say. His friends had died, as had his own uncle. Thorin who had been King under the Mountain. Thorin who'd had no other heirs than Kili and himself. Thorin who had taught him everything he knew about not only combat but also about diplomacy and politics. Thorin who had prepared him, trained him to be king one day. Thorin who had been like a father to him and Kili after they had lost their own. It all crashed down on Fili in a massive wave, and he shortly found himself short of breath as he realized what all of this meant.

He was now king. He was supposed to rule over a whole kingdom. A kingdom that he had never even known. Fili's thoughts whirled in his head when he finally regained his voice.

"It can't be. I need to see him," he whispered, looking at his brother desperately. "I need to see uncle before… I need to… to say goodbye. I need –"

Fili stopped abruptly when he saw his brother's pained gaze and Kili sniffled quietly as a few tears escaped his eyes.

"He has already been buried, Fee," Kili whispered, pain evident in his face as Fili's breath caught in his throat. The blond dwarf shook his head.

"No, no… It's… No, it's too early!" he exclaimed, his voice getting slightly louder with desperation with every word he spoke. "H-how long? I- I can't…"

Fili's voice broke off as he shook his head vigorously, refusing the news that Kili had just given him. The reality that had crashed down on him without any mercy. The brunet dwarf looked at his brother in sadness.

"Uncle was buried within the tombs of the mountain about a week after the battle," Kili explained quietly as Fili started to calm slightly in order to listen to his brother. "Everyone paid him their last respects, even the elves. Bard…" Kili's voice trembled and he had to look away from Fili's bright blue eyes so similar to Thorin's as he continued in a small murmur. "Bard put the Arkenstone upon his chest and King Thranduil gave back Orcrist so he… so he could be buried with it."

Fili still shook his head as he inclined his head and held it in his hands, covering his face as tears started to flow from his eyes. After a moment, he felt a strong hand squeeze his shoulder, though he didn't look up at Kili for a long while as he cried into his hands silently.

His shoulders were still trembling when he finally glanced up again, and he took a deep shuddering breath to calm his nerves at least a bit. It didn't help much, for his voice was hoarse and broken when he addressed Kili again.

"How long?"

Kili's eyebrows drew together in question, and Fili's voice got slightly louder in desperation as he repeated his question.

"How long was I gone, Kili?" the blond dwarf asked loudly. "How long has it been since those blasted arrows tore through me on that bloody battlefield?"

Kili flinched at his brother's graphic words as the memory of the day flashed through his mind, painful like a punch to the face.

"Three weeks," he answered hoarsely, observing Fili's reaction quietly as his brother's face fell and his eyes widened in disbelief. Kili saw his hand unconsciously wander to the bandage around his stomach, though he didn't say anything. Oin had tended to them only this morning, for Fili's wounds were still healing, as were his own. Kili felt the scar across his torso tingle slightly as he thought of it, almost as if to remind him that it was still there. That it would always be there.

"Three weeks," Fili muttered unbelievingly before his gaze wandered back to his little brother who was still simply looking at him silently. "And… and you?"

"I woke up four days after the battle," Kili replied quietly. "In a makeshift healing tent with you unconscious on the other side of it."

Fili simply nodded in reply, taking in the information.

"Oin wouldn't let me move too much for quite a long time," Kili explained. "I practically had to beg him to let me go to uncle's funeral. Ever since then he lets me wander about and help where I can. And Dain has taken to include me in the things he does in order to rebuild the kingdom, you know, as the only heir of Durin currently available. I'm sure he would prefer you, though. You've always been better at these diplomatic things than I am."

Kili cracked a faint smile but Fili didn't return it.

"Gandalf is here, too," Kili continued quickly, trying to take his brother's mind off of his new duty as a young king. It caused Fili's eyebrows to rise slightly. "He's helping us, taking council and all that. But he says he'll leave soon. He will accompany Bilbo on his way back to the Shire."

The Shire, Fili thought bitterly, how good the world had been then. Nothing was the same anymore now.

"He's been very quiet," Kili murmured, and Fili could tell that his little brother was starting to ramble now. "Bilbo, that is. He's been very sad ever since… it all happened. I think he just wants to go home, really. Though he has made his peace with Thorin, which is… which is good… and –"

Fili interrupted Kili's stammering as he finally brought himself to ask about the one thing that had not come up in any of Kili's flood of information during the last half hour.

"What about Tarya?"

Kili stopped talking abruptly and his expression changed into a pained one as if he had just been punched in the stomach. Fili regretted his question as soon as he saw the look in his brother's eyes.

"… Kili?" he asked hesitantly as the brunet didn't look at him, his gaze fixed on an invisible spot on the floor instead. Fili took a deep breath, feeling worry creep up his spine as he slightly leaned forward, his injuries protesting as he did. He clenched his teeth together. "Kili, what happened?"

"She was wounded badly. Mortally, really," Kili muttered and Fili's eyes widened, though his little brother continued before he could say anything. "She's alive merely because her father gave his life for her. That's what they say, at least. They say it's what she has done with me in Laketown. I don't really know, though."

Fili just watched the brunet dwarf as he spoke quietly, his voice merely a low murmur in the room. Fili didn't interrupt, and simply listened to his brother's words as he explained everything to him.

"They won't let me see her," Kili said quietly, his jaw twitching without him noticing. Fili saw. "At least not for long."

"Why not?" Fili asked tentatively. Kili huffed quietly in reply, his nostrils flaring slightly. He was obviously angry, that much Fili could see clearly, though the brunet was apparently trying not to let it show.

"They say it would be too dangerous," he muttered after a few moments. "She has not gotten any better ever since Dwalin found her on that battlefield."

Fili frowned. "I'm sure she will," he answered, trying to give his brother a reassuring look. "I woke up, too, didn't I?"

Kili just shook his head in reply. "It's different with you," he said, releasing a deep breath. "You were showing signs that you were getting better. Slowly, yes, but surely. I could watch your skin regain more colour – more life – with every day that passed and I could see your lids flutter from time to time. And your breathing was always deep and strong, as if you were just sleeping." An almost desperate laugh left the brunet dwarf then, and all Fili could do was look at him compassionately. "Whereas Tarya has not gotten better at all. Her wounds are slowly healing but her condition doesn't change. For the last weeks, her breathing has been shallow if anything, her skin is white as snow and she is feverish. Oin won't let me see her because he fears she might have an infection that could get worse. Or that it could take on to my own injuries. Gandalf says she is in a dark place and she will wake in due time if she is strong enough. But I… I –"

Kili trailed off as his voice threatened to break and Fili raised his eyebrows at him questioningly, waiting until his brother's brown eyes found his in the dimly lit room.

"You are losing hope," Fili murmured, interpreting Kili's expression. "You can't cope."

The brunet dwarf just inclined his head silently and Fili nodded in understanding. Of course, it was too much. How could anyone cope with all these things happening at once? They had fought a dragon to reclaim their homeland and once they had managed it, a war had descended upon them and claimed more lives than Fili cared to think about. Many of their friends were dead. Their uncle, their king, had died. And Kili had not only lost them but had also had to worry for the lives of his big brother and his beloved while at the same time being forced to take the duties that would normally have been those of the King under the Mountain. The duties that were actually Fili's now. He'd had to take care of the injured and the fallen of the battle, see to it that they were properly taken care of in their enormous number. In addition, he had to take care and start Erebor's rebuilding together with Dain who – Fili was sure – was a great help but to have him around must have been a painful permanent reminder to Kili that Thorin was dead and that Fili was not there, either.

"I need her," Kili whispered quietly, burying his head in his hands. "I need both of you. I needed you so much these last weeks, Fee, you have no idea."

Fili had quite a good idea.

"It is all so much," Kili continued, his voice muffled as he spoke into his palms. "I am not the right person to do all of this. I can't function without you, Fee, or without her. And you cannot imagine how incredibly happy it makes me to have you back. To see you alive and breathing, and awake! I missed you so much and I was so scared to lose you. The Valar have been merciful for once and have given me back my brother." He took a deep shuddering breath. "I just fear that they will not do such a thing a second time."

Fili pressed his lips together as Kili finished quietly, desperately, and the blond dwarf reached out to put a heavy hand on his little brother's shoulder. Kili didn't protest as the blond pulled him in for a hug, wrapping his arms around him tightly even though his scars were protesting painfully. It was then that Kili really started to cry and Fili just let him without saying a word while he couldn't hold back his own tears, knowing that these were tears that his brother must have held back for a long time. They simply held on to each other tightly, and only after a long while, after the brunet dwarf had calmed down again slightly, did Fili speak again.

"Do not lose hope, Kee, " he murmured quietly into his little brother's hair. "I'm here now. And I'm here for you, as I always will. You haven't lost me, and you will not lose Tarya. She is strong and she loves you so much, Kili. I am certain she will come back to you. She always does."

He pulled back then, bringing his forehead gently and affectionately against his brother's as they both closed their eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"After all that has happened, the Valar certainly owe us a favour."

Cold.

That was all Tarya could feel.

She didn't know for how long she had been feeling it or when she had even started to feel anything again. It was strange. She had always thought death would be the end of everything, and that with it people simply stopped being, stopped existing. It was strange that she could still feel coldness and was still aware of the darkness that surrounded her. Tarya had been sure of her own death when she had been lying on that battlefield alone, but she wasn't so sure whether she had truly died now.

But the cold never gave way to anything else and the darkness never became any lighter. There was nothing. She was lost, alone again, with only her own thoughts as company. Though those were hazy if anything and not very reliable. It was as if she was floating in this never-ending darkness, sometimes aware of it and sometimes not.

Tarya didn't know how long she had been in this state when she became aware of the whispering.

She wasn't sure whether she knew the voices, for they were muffled and she couldn't make out the words that were being said. Nothing pierced through the veil of blackness that surrounded her. But it was something new, something Tarya could concentrate on. It was something that told her that she was not actually dead but that she was in a different state, in one that she might be able to escape if only she knew how. If only she were strong enough.

The voices weren't always there. They sometimes disappeared for a long time only to come back again, always muffled, always far away and out of her reach.

Tarya couldn't tell how long this had been going on when something changed. It could have been mere hours; it could have been weeks, even years. It was impossible to be sure of anything when everything was always dark and nothing mattered. But Tarya didn't really care how long it had been as the sound of the voices eventually changed, and she could hear them more clearly, more loudly, though she still couldn't make out all of the words.

But she now could hear that there were several of them, different from each other. One was calm and consistent, another deep and rumbling. And then there was one that was always the loudest, always angry. That was the one that Tarya heard the most clearly after another long time that felt like an eternity.

"She is not… … weeks… … won't sit around … … Gan… … be with her… …"

Tarya couldn't make out all that was said, no matter how hard she tried. But she could hear the familiar voice yelling at the others, though she didn't know why. But somehow she was quite certain that it was about her. Then there was a whole whirl of different voices and she completely lost any sense of the conversation that was going on around her.

It took the voices a while to quiet down and Tarya didn't know how much time had passed when she suddenly felt something that she hadn't in a long time. She felt warmth. It was faint but it was definitely there. And every bit of warmth was a blessing in this dark cold she was trapped in. Tarya didn't know how long it took until the warmth wandered, started to spread through her body, and only upon concentrating very hard on it did the Amarok realize that something – or someone – was touching her. The warmth she felt was coming from the slightly rough skin of big hands that were engulfing one of her own.

"… hear me… … "

There it was again. The angry voice from before, though now quiet and soft, and clear. Tarya could feel warm breath brushing against her hand and a short moment later she felt a pair of lips press against her skin there.

"… please… … come back… …"

Tarya wanted to come back. Though she wasn't even sure where back was. She wanted to open her eyes, to look at the face that belonged to that voice. She knew the face, the voice. She knew him. And she knew that she needed to return to him.

"… need you… … Tarya… …" She tried to concentrate harder on the words, and the voice became clearer.

"You cannot die, do you hear me?" the voice spoke, and it was only now that Tarya remembered the face, the smile, the eyes, the name that went with it.

"I won't let you," Kili spoke quietly. "I refuse to let you die, do you understand? You have to wake up. You just… you just have to. It's enough now, Tarya, I… I can't… you can't –"

Tarya wanted to say something, wanted to respond as the dwarf's voice broke and he trailed off, but all she could do was listen and feel Kili's rough hands wrapped around hers. His voice got quieter then, hoarse and raw as if he was holding back tears. And a moment later Tarya felt something heavy rest on her chest and somehow she knew that he had laid his head there to listen to her heartbeat.

It was then that the darkness slowly started to subside, though Tarya only noticed it after a few moments, for she had been too focused on the warmth that Kili was lending her and on the sorrow in his voice.

"Please…" she heard the dwarf whisper and she felt his hand squeeze hers a bit tighter. Tarya didn't know what horrors Kili had lived during the battle, and she didn't know what had happened ever since she had last seen him, but she could hear that whatever he had gone through had left him sad and broken, and angry at the world.

Tarya heard the sound of a door opening and she wondered what was going on as Kili's head only turned slightly on her chest to look at whomever it was that had entered the room. There was a long pause before anyone spoke and though her mind was still fuzzy, it took Tarya only a few moments to recognize the voice that sounded quietly through the room.

"Gandalf says you should be resting," Bofur muttered and Tarya could hear his footsteps on the floor as he approached. Kili hesitated a moment before he pulled back from her and Tarya immediately missed his heavy warmth on her.

"Gandalf says a great many things," the brunet dwarf prince muttered, his thumb starting to trail small circles on her palm. It took Tarya more effort than she would have thought not to concentrate all her thoughts on the small gesture. But she wanted to hear what they were saying, for she feared that if she let their voices slip away from her again she might not be able to find back to them.

"Oin says it, too," Bofur provided as Tarya listened to the small creak a wooden chair made as the hatted dwarf sat down on it. The Amarok heard Kili simply huff in reply and it was a while until Bofur spoke again. His voice sounded strange, Tarya thought. It wasn't as cheery as she remembered it, instead it was quiet and reserved, and Tarya wondered why.

"She is not doing any better, is she?"

"She is not doing worse, either," Kili replied almost without hesitance, though there was a strange tremble in his voice as he said the words. Tarya wondered how bad her state actually was, and how much of it she was aware of. "I refuse to give up on her as long as her heart is still beating in her chest."

"But Gandalf says –"

"I don't care what Gandalf says!" Kili snapped loudly, his voice echoing off the walls of the room with the force of it. Tarya would have flinched if she'd had control over her body and she could hear Bofur's quiet sigh somewhere to her right.

"I… I'm sorry, Bofur," Kili amended quietly after a moment, his voice now soft again, tired almost. "I… I just…" the brunet hesitated and Tarya listened attentively as his voice sounded through the room once more as nothing more than a quiet murmur. "Is it possible to love someone so completely they simply can't die?"

There was a long pause in which Bofur said nothing and Tarya felt her heart go out to Kili and the sheer desperation in his voice. She wanted to open her eyes and wrap her arms around him. She wanted to hold him and him to hold her until his sorrow would have disappeared. Kili was not supposed to be hurting in this way.

"No," was all Bofur said in reply after a long while and then Tarya didn't hear anything anymore for a long time. She didn't know how much time had passed since Bofur's and Kili's conversation and now. It was as if she was sleeping, and missing out on large parts of what was going on around her. All Tarya knew was that as she regained some sense now, Kili's warmth was gone as was his touch. But somehow her head felt lighter now, and after a while she thought she could see a faint shimmer of light through her closed lids. Tarya took a deep breath, and this time she could actually feel the air flowing through her lungs like a blow of fresh wind. And it was just as Tarya thought about how liberating it had felt when she could suddenly feel her body again, as a light tingle wandered through her limbs. Tarya waited, although rather impatiently, and when the tingle had reached her hands she slowly moved her fingers, making them dance lightly.

She tried to open her eyes then, and to her utter surprise her lids actually complied and fluttered slowly, letting in the dim light that was casting shadows on the stone walls she could now see around her. It took her eyes a few moments to adjust to the light and the shadows, but once Tarya could see clearly, she realized that she was in a rather large stone room, on a comfortable bed and covered in thick fur blankets. Tarya lay there silently for a while, simply staring up at the ceiling as she watched the dim flames of the firelight reflect on it.

She would have liked to ask where she was and what had happened, but there was no one there except her and the only sounds in the room was the quiet crackling of the wood in the open fire on the opposite wall. Tarya sighed quietly, taking another deep breath just to calm her nerves. She couldn't say she particularly like waking up in a dark room all by herself, but it was still better than not waking up at all.

Tarya slowly pushed the furs off of her then, revealing her upper body covered in a white shirt that was a bit too big for her. Hesitantly, she reached down and grabbed the hem of the garment before cautiously pulling it up to reveal what was beneath it. There was a nasty and still rather fresh scar adorning her stomach and Tarya carefully let her fingers run over the pink scar tissue, hissing slightly at the contact.

Tarya knew what had happened to her on the battlefield. She remembered the arrow that had torn through her, remembered the warg that had crushed her ribs, remembered the blood on her hands and the screams around her. She also remembered the sounds of clashing iron, and the sight of a sword sticking out of Bombur's back.

The Amarok felt her breathing suddenly become ragged as the images flooded her mind, and she felt her head start to ache as she closed her eyes and tried to get rid of them. But it was no use, Tarya knew, as the scenes of the battle kept repeating themselves in her head mercilessly. She abruptly pushed herself into a sitting position then as to somehow physically escape her own thoughts, but immediately dizziness overflowed her mind at the same time that a pained groan left her mouth. Tarya didn't know how long she had been lying in this bed but it had apparently not been quite enough time to heal all her wounds properly.

She took several deep breaths through clenched teeth as she fought down the pain and it was a while until she had regained her composure. The Amarok looked around then and found herself in an empty room apart from a wooden chair in one corner and a small table near the bed. Tarya frowned as her gaze found the door and she stared at it for a moment until she made up her mind. Staying in here alone would only bring back memories and images that she couldn't bear to think about at the moment. It was too fresh, too painful, and she just wanted to see her friends, to see Kili. Tarya wanted to see a familiar face after waking up, since she had not been able to see one before she had fallen on the battlefield.

Slowly, she pushed the heavy furs off of her, only then realizing that her legs were only half covered by the large white shirt that reached down to shortly above her knees. Tarya merely frowned shortly, then shrugged slightly as she swung her legs out of the bed. Her ribs hurt, as did the scar on her stomach as she got to her feet but Tarya clenched her teeth together, unwilling to lie back down. She had to hold on to the bedpost for a moment as to gather enough balance to stand more or less steadily on her legs before she slowly and carefully made her way over to the door. It was large and heavy and as Tarya's hands wrapped around the iron door handle it cost her more strength than she cared to admit to only get it to open.

Tarya quickly slipped out of the dark room, only to be met with a dark corridor instead. Thick stone-walls lay to all sides and every few metres torches hanging from the walls lit the way. Tarya stood for a moment, her heart beating heavily in her chest as her eyes searched the corridor for something familiar, something to tell her which way to go. There were two corridors leading down to her right and her left, and another one that went straight ahead. After a short moment of hesitation, Tarya decided to simply follow her nose and walked on, using the wall to her side to keep herself balanced.

Her naked feet were making dull sounds on the cold stone floor with every step she took and Tarya wasn't sure how long she had been walking when she suddenly heard voices being carried down a corridor to her left. She turned her head, leaning against the wall to look in the direction the voices were coming from.

"… in a month. Dain thinks it is important for our people to have a new king as soon as possible."

"I think he's right. After all, you are the King under the Mountain now, though I know that fact hurts you more than you would openly admit."

"I just… I think it's too early. I'm not ready yet; I still have so much to learn. It should be Thorin. Not me. He always knew what to do, and knew what to say. He was the king that Erebor deserved and now he is not even here to see it."

Tarya recognized the voices before the brothers even rounded the corner, though for a moment the only thing that she could think of was that Thorin was dead. He had not survived the battle and now Fili, as his heir, was the rightful king and ruler of Erebor. Tarya's eyes were still wide with her newest realization when Fili and Kili rounded the corner a little distance away from her, talking quietly to each other.

"It has been almost four months since –"

Kili stopped talking abruptly mid-sentence as he looked up and suddenly met her gaze. Tarya could only watch as his eyes went wide with disbelief and confusion and all she could do was to lean back against the wall behind her with a small exhausted huff, though a faint smile ghosted over her lips as she finally saw the dwarf's face again.

"Wha… T-Tarya?" Kili muttered completely dumbstruck and for a moment he merely stood motionlessly beside his brother whose eyes were as wide as Kili's. The Amarok inclined her head slightly, ignoring the pain that shot through her torso as she pushed herself off the wall and took a few steps towards them. But apparently, the massive stone walls had done more for her balance than she had thought and she hadn't come very far when her legs buckled beneath her.

It was then that movement suddenly returned to Kili and before Tarya could even blink away the dizziness that started to cloud her sight again, the brunet dwarf had taken off and run down the corridor as fast as his legs would carry him. The heavy footsteps of his boots sounded loudly through the halls as Fili followed him swiftly and it was only a few seconds later that Tarya felt two strong arms wrap around her tightly, though still careful as to not hurt her more than she already was.

"What… how…" Kili muttered in confusion and Tarya could only lean heavily against him, inhaling his familiar scent as he tried to find the right words. "What are you doing here?"

"I… woke up and… no one was there," Tarya murmured tiredly in reply as Kili slowly knelt down with her, seating her on the floor as his hands gently grabbed her face in his hands, his thumbs trailing carefully over her cheekbones. Tarya saw his eyes shimmering with a thin veil of tears as she looked up at him.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, as he looked at her intently, seemingly trying to take in every feature of her face. "I should have been there… I should have… But no one knew when you would wake… if you would wake, and… and… I had to –"

Tarya interrupted the dwarf as she lifted her hand to cover one of his with her own. She smiled faintly at him, though no less softly. "I know you were with me whenever you could," she murmured quietly as his eyebrows rose in question. "I heard you yelling sometimes, I think. And I heard you talking with Bofur earlier."

"That was three weeks ago," Kili said slowly, a slightly sheepish expression on his face as she mentioned the yelling. He was searching her eyes for something Tarya didn't know, his warm brown eyes focused intently on her. "I… you heard. I knew you would. I knew you would wake up. I –"

This time Kili interrupted his own stammering and Tarya's eyes widened shortly as he leaned down and pressed a gentle yet urgent kiss to her lips. The Amarok sighed silently as the dwarf pulled back, a happy smile now playing on his lips as he sniffled quietly, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "I knew you would return to me," he murmured croakily, kissing her again before Fili cleared his throat from where he was standing next to them.

"As much as I rejoice this reunion," he said, shooting the Amarok an affectionate look before his expression turned more serious. "She should not be out here. Tarya, you are still too weak to even stand properly, you need to lie down."

The Amarok tried to protest but it was no use as she suddenly felt two arms wrap around her form and a moment later she was lifted off the ground and found herself leaning against Kili's chest as he carried her down the corridor with his brother by their side. Tarya felt the dwarf wince slightly as he wrapped his arms a bit tighter around her, and she shortly caught sight of the worried expression Fili shot his little brother behind his back. The Amarok frowned and looked back at Kili whose expression was now merely a little strained.

"Are you hurt?" she asked quietly, worry swinging in her voice as she stared at the brunet dwarf in concern. Kili shot her a short sideways glance and Tarya saw his jaw twitch slightly as he pressed his teeth together, carrying her back to where she had come from without saying anything. Tarya looked back over his shoulder towards Fili who only smiled ruefully as he caught her gaze. The Amarok felt her heart sink with worry at his expression.

"We will tell you everything you want to know, namadîth, I promise," Fili said quietly, smiling again, though it didn't reach his pale blue eyes. He looked sad and tired. Older. "But first you need to rest."