Sorry this chapter is my shortest one yet but I had BORING math school work to do and barely got any time to write. I SUCK at math. :P

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man in any way.

Chapter 7: Insanity

Cross could feel his fragile throat being faintly poked by Allen's huge claw. He stared in disbelief at the young white haired teen. The young teen stared down at him with dead eyes. Eyes of that of a hopeless person, but even still, eyes with an obvious glimpse of sadness. A glimpse of sadness that ate the boy away. Sadness that was mixed with in with emptiness and eyes that called out for help. Just as before the boy did not smile nor did he frown. He kept his mouth unmoving just keeping his mouth serious.

Cross, even though he had always been well in hiding his emotions and at throwing stuff important to him away could still not come to accept all of this. He could just not come to believe Allen Walker, that small innocent child who cried on Mana's grave. The young child that smiled all too innocently at Mana's side was now lying to himself, spitting foolish words of wanting to kill him. Was THIS actually, truly 100% Allen Walker? Was this really him? Would he be capable of such things? He did not find reason or motive on just how the boy got comfortable to say such words. Just one. Could the boy possibly be just confused? Confused at what he should do toward his love over him?

Somehow, even though he had only met Allen once Cross knew. He knew Allen was still an innocent young soul. He didn't know how but he could feel it. Feel nothing but a strange feeling that this boy was not meant to destroy. Not born to kill. That this was not even what he wanted. Even though the boy pointed a claw at his throat and emanated the dirty scent of blood, deep down, on that young fragile body, Cross could clearly see it, Allen Walker, the boy who loved all life and would do anything to save others. Somehow Cross knew Allen longed for him, somehow he knew all that but even so, even if he knew it, he could not understand how he could feel it. Was it perhaps because - because those were his feelings and at staring at this boy's eyes and every reaction could he perhaps...

" It's almost like a reflection; Allen I see you and it's almost like I am seeing myself. I had always searched for you. I had always felt a connection between you and me. But I could not quite put it. But somehow I knew you searched for me too, just as I searched for you. Tch! Why do I get all emotional for a kid? I don't even know him, but still! Why am I - " Cross held his hand on top of his face. He didn't even bother on taking Allen's claws out of his throat. " Why so am I crying? "

Cross saw a bit blurry due to his tears but he could feel on his throat, trembling. Allen's hands were trembling. Crosses thoughts soon broke as the boy lowered his claw toward Crosses chest.

Cross widened his eyes. " A - Allen ?

Allen scratched Crosses chest. Cross held his chest shouting in pain. It wasn't a big scratch so it didn't hurt him much but the sudden cut made him react on a scream. Cross blinked a bit in confusion, why didn't he dodge that? He was a general so why was he permitting the boy to injure him? Cross suddenly felt cold drops of water fall to his face. He saw as tears fell down the boys cheek. The boy pressed both of his hands into punches.

" Cross why? " An extremely angered voice filled with agony escaped the boys mouth. " WHY DON'T YOU HATE ME! "

Cross held his breath. He could now see the blood shot eyes of the boy. Cross didn't say anything. He was speechless and had absolutely no words to offer.

" Why, why, why, WHY? " The boy shouted as he repeatedly clawed Cross on his chest. " Why Cross did you have to search for me? Why Cross did you have to feel for me? Why Cross - why - why do you - do you"

Allen gripped his hair. His eyes widened. Cross saw as Allen seemed to murmur something to himself. Something that was clearly hearable and brought Cross to further shock. " Why do you lie to me? Master - no - Cross - no - father - no- wha, huh? ah - "

Allen held his urge to shout and break into tears. He held his arms, almost like trying to hide from the cold. He trembled and gritted his teeth repeatedly.

" Why do I feel this way? Even though all I wanted was to see him, even though all I wanted was to ask, why has it come to this? I wanted him to hate me but no he just had to love me! He just had to! Why? "

Allen looked everywhere as if searching for something. " Earl? Tyki? Road? Where are you all? Where are you all when I need you! Where are you when I need you the most! I want to -! What do I want? Where are you to help me! - "

Allen suddenly widened his eyes. " That's it, the answer has already slipped from my mouth, hahaha..." Allen stopped trembling and stopped holding onto his shoulders and looked down empty. His smile dropped. " It's because things didn't go as I planned them. If only things had gone as I planned them to, if only master had done as I wanted him too... "

Cross stared in a deep unawakable horror at the young white haired teen .He held his own arms, almost like tying them up, almost like stopping himself from killing Cross. But even so he contradicted his actions by speaking words of pure confusion. Cross had clearly heard every single thing Allen had basically shouted just now. Everything had been clearly hearable.

Cross suddenly widened his eyes. That smile Allen had done just now, that weird speech, his strange habit to contradict himself, Cross widened his mouth a bit as he put all the pieces together. What seemed as impossible just earlier he could now understand. He could now understand everything. Cross could almost feel as a deep deep regret hit him. The boy, the teen, the Noah, though it was sad and painful a cruel reality had suddenly hit. His apprentice had followed the Earls ways. Allen Walker had been driven to the pitiful pits of insanity.

His mind had been poisoned by the Noah's twisted morals. Just what in god damn's name happened in the ark? What did the Earl do to drive a fifteen year old toward insanity! Cross punched the floor in anger. This had all been his fault, if only he had arrived sooner at the time. If only he had arrived just mere minutes earlier at Mana's grave, if only he had paid better attention, right now none of this would have happened. The boy would had instead be an exorcist and be the Allen Walker he knew - no - the Allen Walker he had always dreamed of.

Allen could feel his face being scratched as a gun bullet passed just by it. He slowly looked toward his back, where Cross was, and saw the red haired man pulling his gun directly toward Allen. His gaze shifted into that of angers. The red haired man stood perfectly. His injuries didn't seem to affect him anymore.

" You say I hate you? You think I'm lying when I say I don't hate you? For real? You actually think that?" Cross chuckled. Allen stared at him angrily.

" Well then my STUPID apprentice, explain this to me then? " Cross quickly ran toward Allen. " If I don't care for you then how come I wasted three years of my life finding you! "

Allen widened his eyes. " Fast! " He could suddenly a gun shot and a bullet that headed his way. Allen tried to dodge it with his Innocence and closed his eyes.

Allen could soon feel his arm being shot countless of times along with an intense pain that accompanied. Allen fell to the cold ground and spit out blood. He touched to the area where his arm was injured but blood fell instead.

" Tell me Allen why did I do that? " Cross quickly gripped Allen's normal arm. He raised Allen. " Just why do you think I wasted so much time searching for a moron like you! "

" Wake up you asshole! " He punched Allen's face with his gun on the face countless of times. Allen saw everything on his view double. Cross breathed deeply. Allen on the other hand battled to keep himself awake.

" Your my apprentice, my shameful son! "

Allen chuckled. " F - father? ha! D - don't make me laugh! " Allen fought to move his broken lips. " My one and only father is Mana, my one and only savior is the Earl and you are nothing more than my so called master... "

Allen raised his face looking at Cross. Cross suddenly widened his eyes as he stared down at the gentle innocent smile that marked the boys face. The smile Cross knew him for. The face Allen wore was that of a faint smile, eyes closed and an aura of deep deep sorrow.

" I'm such an idiot, aren't I Master? "

" Heck yes you are!" Cross shouted.

Allen chuckled a bit. " Haha, is that so? "

Tears fell down Allen's face. " Ne, ne did you know Cross? " Allen scratched Crosses face with his short fingernails." I went trough a lot this whole three years " He lowered his arms toward Crosses neck. " So much happened, so much pain, so much suffering and so much sadness... " Allen stared at him glumly. " So much tears dropped and trough it all... " Allen pressed Crosses neck. " Trough everything, every single little thing, all I wanted and thought about..."

Cross quickly threw Allen on the floor making Allen loose his grip on Crosses neck.

Allen caught his breath back and stared at Crosses legs. "All I ever wished for was nothing more but to run away and be with you... " Cross was paralyzed.

More tears fell from Allen's eyes " But by time my hate started to fade... "

Memories of all the Noah's cheerful faces crossed his mind, Road, Tyki, David, Jasdero, Lulu, Skin, Cyril, Earl " And I began to appreciate what I had..."

Cross looked the other way and sat just beside Allen as the boy quickly lost lots of blood. " My family..." Suddenly Allen coughed lots and lots of blood from his mouth.

" Don't speak " Cross forced him seriously. " Cross broke his jacket and put it on Allen's bullet holes on his arm and chest. He picked Allen up. " I'll take you to a nearby hospital. " Allen was about to shout that he didn't want to go with him but instead coughed up blood again. He could not speak anymore. His view was fading.

" I understand Allen, you came to love the Noah family so much, I became nothing more than a dream. You wished for me so much that by the time you actually came to see me you knew not what to do and hate overcame you. ' Cross sighed. " So right now I am no more than just a hindrance that disturbs your life toward becoming a Noah..." Cross looked down the boy had fainted. " What a load of bullshit. "

" Allen your innocent soul contradicts your being. Deep down you WANT to be a Noah; And sadly it's not just your Noah's genes fault but at the same time you don't actually want to kill me, do you?" Cross was shocked to see a lone tear fall the boys eye.

Cross jumped through buildings. He looked down at Allen who was half awake.

Allen suddenly started to whine while hiding his eyes with his arms. " I didn't want to. I didn't want to kill Cross. But I wanted to be by my family's side..."

Cross suddenly leaned down at Allen curiously and confused. " Hey Allen why is it that you are so conflicted with having to kill me? You CAN'T kill me. You are way to weak, I mean look at you. So why didn't you just fake a fight and then loose? "

Allen frowned and whispered " I thought about it but I can't really do that. "

Cross stared really confused at Allen. " And why not? "

Allen raised his finger toward his mouth. " The Earl is watching..."

Cross widened his eyes and looked at all directions. " Since when? "

Allen fell unconscious again.

They arrived at the hospital quickly. The doctors took Allen to emergency on a flash. Cross looked quite saddened at Allen's fragile body on the hospital bed. Cross sat on the floor in front of Allen's hospital room.

Cross gave out a long sigh. Suddenly his sigh was almost cut off as he heard a familiar voice laughing faintly. His blood froze. He raised his view toward the corner of the hospital corridor.

He glared angrily at a fat short man. He wore clown clothes and his skin was gray as coal. His unmistakable smile eternally marked his demonic face. The man stared from afar at Cross with his black sunglasses.

" Millennium Earl... " Cross almost laughed.

The man smirked his deep evil smile in response. " Kombawa~ General Cross Marian~! "

Please review and comment, tips if possible, thx.

( PS: Yeah making an account would help so much Jess. Thanks for tips by the way. )

Really super duper sorry this chapter was rushed but I didn't want to keep the pace too slow and continue with the plot. Did that affect much? If it did please tell me if it did. Are the characters coming out of character? It has seriously bothered me a lot and it would be really nice if somebody pointed me out that error. :(