And we're back! Wheew!

Hiding in the Shadow: Homeboy and Tarya will have some things to sort out in this chapter :D But don't you worry, she won't be a wilting flower and he will get his shizz in order, hopefully :D

RippahGoneWolf: I just really, really like to see you react to cliffhangers if I'm honest :D But don't fret, here comes Kili and I promise, there's no cliffhanger this time :D

Eruwaedhiel95: Yeah, sorry for that :D It seems like I quite like to leave you hanging on cliffs, huh? :D But here comes the big conversation, I hope you like it!

Dalonega Noquisi: I'm really glad you liked her talk with Ori, because I really liked writing that with him as her listener :) I hope you'll like how the confrontation between Kili and Tarya turns out. They've got a few things to talk out, don't they?

Nimtheriel: Haha, that's really how this conversation should have gone. Just drop everything and become orc slayers and occasionally come home for birthdays and such :D

Akilah Swiftblade: Aha! I have found your weakness! Let's see how far up the ladder I come with this chapter then :D

SiobhansPassion: Well, hello! :D I'm glad you like the story and Tarya and have stuck with her through the entire journey to now :D To answer your question, no, Dis is not in Erebor yet, but she'll have her appearance soon. I'm actually quite looking forward to that :D And I think you'll see a part of what Tarya thinks about the whole princess business in this chapter :D

kaia: It sure is! :D

Teshka: Truer words have never been spoken. I think we should all try to have a little more faith in Tarya :D

And thanks to jkrfan7, Borys68, sassygirl9811, sarah0406, MaxRideandPercyJackson4ever, Promise1982 and Angel of the Night Watchers for your lovely reviews!

And, of course, thanks to the followers and favouriters!

Now, go, read, review, eat some chocolate and enjoy your day! :D

Kili stood in his place next to the table, arms crossed firmly over his chest while he was staring at the Amarok before him, waiting for an answer. His muscles were tense and he was angry, but he kept from saying anything else as he looked at Tarya who was staring back at him with wide uncomprehending eyes. Kili's jaw twitched as he clenched his teeth together. He had spent the last hours worrying over her, afraid that she might have run into trouble, broken down in the middle of an empty corridor due to her still healing wounds, or even left the mountain completely. He had been on edge not knowing where she was, without even the slightest sign of her anywhere, only to now realize that she had been with Ori the whole time and some other dwarf that he didn't know, and didn't trust.

"What?" Tarya finally asked into the stretching silence between them and Kili huffed quietly, not giving an answer. Her brows furrowed as she looked at him in confusion. "I have been with Ori in the library… What nice young lad are you talking about?"

"The nice young lad that took you to Ori in the first place," Kili answered lowly, sharply. "You wouldn't have had any reason to visit the library – never mention found it on your own. Dwalin said it, someone brought you there and I would like to know who."

Kili could see the frown deepen on his beloved's face but he wasn't about to back down. He was angry and disappointed, and he wanted to know where she had been and whom she had been with. He needed to know, or else it would be stuck in his head and bother him for the rest of the night if not the whole week. Tarya crossed her arms in front of her body in an almost defensive manner that had Kili's eyebrows draw together slightly.

"Borin," she answered quietly, averting her gaze from his as he narrowed his eyes at her, making Kili's frown deepen even more. "He is one of Ori's pupils."

"Where did you meet him?"

Kili stayed unmoving as she shot him a strange look, obviously not sure why he was so intent on knowing all the details of her encounter. Maybe Kili should have told her how he felt about all of this, but he couldn't bring himself to do it at the moment. So he simply raised his eyebrows at her, prompting Tarya to answer his question.

"Some corridor or other," she said vaguely, pressing her lips together as Kili gave one curt and stern nod, taking in the information she was giving him. She probably didn't know where exactly she had been when she had happened upon the dwarf lad, so Kili had no chance to determine which part of the mountain he might have come from.

"What did he want?" the brunet asked then, looking at Tarya searchingly before he suddenly saw her expression change. If it had been defensive before, it had become almost the exact opposite now. The Amarok unfolded her arms from in front of her body, slightly narrowing her eyes at him as she put them on her hips. Kili wasn't sure how his words had provoked the sudden change in her demeanour but he was sure that it had been something he had said. He didn't care much at the moment, though, too preoccupied with keeping his own temper in check.

"Dwalin already told you. Borin wanted to see if I was all right and help me find someone I know. Why do you want to know all this?" Tarya answered then, her voice calm and yet Kili could hear the underlying tension in it. Her temper was rising; her eyes alight with a strange faint fire that he hadn't seen in a very long time. He hesitated shortly before he regained his composure and answered her.

"I am merely worried for your safety, Tarya," Kili rumbled darkly, his tone deep and strained as he tried to keep his voice down even though he wanted nothing more than to shout out the frustration he felt. "How should I trust anyone around you after knowing what Dain said to you this afternoon? He is a powerful dwarf lord, and he has his men all around this mountain, dwarves of the Iron Hills that seem to have taken a dislike to you just as fast and unreasonably as he has. Don't you understand that I am a bit concerned if I hear that some stranger came up to you in an empty corridor and brought you somewhere without my knowledge? I see how the people look at you, Tarya, and I don't trust them. Not after today."

Tarya stared at him silently for a moment, and Kili's chest was rising heavily with the deep breaths he was taking in order to stay remotely calm. It was only when she let out a breathy and cheerless laugh that he looked at her in slight confusion.

"Do you think I don't know how they look at me?!" Tarya suddenly said loudly in reply, taking two steps closer to him as she narrowed her eyes at the brunet dwarf. Kili could only look at her in surprise for a moment, as her temper suddenly seemed to snap. "I see their gazes, Kili, I can feel them prickling on my skin every time I walk the halls of the mountain! I am almost used to the hostility in their eyes by now, the distaste they regard me with. I am so used to it that I didn't think twice about what Dain said to me today. I thought he was completely right with everything; that I was not worthy to be with you or with the people of this mountain that I fought very hard to protect. That was until I met Borin. Borin the nice young lad who was the first person to show me kindness without having any former sort of connection with me. He could have treated me like everyone else in this blasted mountain does, and yet, he was friendly and nice to me, and he reminded me that I am not just some worthless girl but that I am an Amarok and that I am deserving of people's respect, not because I am some legendary creature of old but for all the things that I've done and lost for them."

Tarya's chest was heaving with heavy angry breaths now, as well, as she glared at him, though Kili wasn't sure whether her anger was directed at him or rather at the whole population of the mountain. He stared at her for a moment, taking in her fierce expression and her golden eyes that glimmered with a distant fire that had not yet awoken fully. And Kili intended to keep it that way, so he let out a quiet sigh, though he didn't unfold his arms from before his chest as he looked back at Tarya.

"No one ever said you were just some worthless girl," he said slowly, ignoring the nagging voice in his head that was urging him to get more information on that Borin boy. He observed her reaction carefully as she shook her head with a huff.

"No one needed to say it," Tarya answered darkly. "Ever since I have woken up, I have constantly been the aim of hostile gazes. And I tried to ignore them, Kili, but Dain took good care of showing me exactly how inferior and unbefitting he thinks I am today. He says I'm not a princess, and with that he is right."

"What do you mean by that?" Kili asked, slightly irritated still, though now much more concerned than before. Tarya took a deep breath, and Kili could only watch in confusion as her hands twisted in the fabric of her clothing again, as he had seen often during the last weeks. He had always thought it was a simple sign of nervousness, but now he suddenly realized that it was really a gesture of unease. Tarya felt out of place and didn't know what to do with herself, so she found something for her hands to occupy themselves with when she was feeling vulnerable.

"I mean that I can never become what this kingdom demands, and neither do I want to. I don't want to be forced into a role that doesn't fit me, Kili, and I don't want to pretend like I don't notice how much people dislike me anymore. They don't want me as their princess and I don't want to be her."

Kili's voice was trapped in his throat for a moment, and he was unable to form any coherent sentence as he took in what Tarya had just said. "I –" he started hoarsely; then cleared his throat before he forced himself to continue with a more even voice. "Are you saying that you don't want to be with me?"

"No! No, that's not what I mean…" Tarya replied quickly, shaking her head as she took a hesitant step closer to his rigid form. His brows drew together again, his temper flaring within him once more against better judgment.

"Then what do you mean, Tarya?" he demanded roughly, his voice rising again and the force of it making her flinch back slightly in response as he uncrossed his arms from before him angrily and he took a step towards her himself. "We knew who we were when we fell in love, you knew that I was a prince and I knew that you were an Amarok. And when I asked you to marry me, you knew that marrying me meant marrying a prince, which in turn means that by marrying me, you will automatically become a princess by right. And you said yes! You accepted us as who we were and who we were going to be. Nothing has changed!" And then Kili saw it; the hesitation in her face, the uncertainty in her eyes. And his gaze darkened with hurt and anger at the same time. "That is, of course, if you are still willing to become my wife."

Silence filled the room upon his last words, and Kili looked at the Amarok before him incredulously as he felt his heart grow heavy in his chest. Tarya returned his gaze, pain evident within her bright eyes. But at that moment, Kili didn't care for her pain – at least not as he was used to – he just felt the gaping hole her silence was ripping into his own heart.

"Everything has changed, Kili –" Tarya started, voice cracking slightly as she shortly pressed her eyes closed to escape his piercing gaze. It was a long moment before she opened them again, her eyes glazed over with a thin veil of tears. Kili stood stoically, simply staring at her without being able to avert his gaze to somewhere else as she spoke again, her voice shaky and raw. "I am not the same person I was then. I -… ever since I have woken up, I feel lost. I feel as if I lost myself in that battle. Lost myself when I lost my father and my friends. The woman you fell in love with was strong and fierce, and now I just feel small and out of place. And these scars that I have remind me of it every day, of everything that is lost. And even if they heal, there is a hole in me that I feel won't be healed. Even if I try to fill it with the effort of learning to write and read, trying to find my place in a world that is foreign to me, I will never be what –"

It was then that Kili finally snapped, and he clenched his teeth together as he took another step towards her, grabbing Tarya by the upper arms and pulling her towards him roughly. His action interrupted her abruptly, and her eyes were wide with shock as he brought his face down to level with hers, eyes dark as he looked at her.

"Do you think I don't know how you feel?" he growled darkly, unable to control his emotions any longer. He abruptly let go of her, making her stumble a step backwards as he suddenly started to undo the lacings of his embroidered blue tunic. He held her gaze as his fingers swiftly worked open the thin bands and he could see her eyes widen further with every second. Kili could see that all she wanted to do was bolt out of the room but she was frozen in place and he kept her there with only his dark gaze. The brunet dwarf heard her gasp quietly as he roughly pulled his tunic over his head in one angry motion, exposing the naked skin of his torso beneath it.

"What are you doing?" Tarya whispered in shock, almost too quietly to hear as her gaze found the raw skin of the scar that ran across his whole upper body, from his right shoulder to his left hip.

Kil's chest was heaving as he tried to contain the whirl of emotions that raged within him as he stared right back at her, taking in her wide, shocked eyes as he answered her in a low growl.

"Showing you that you are not the only one with scars."

Tarya felt her throat go dry and her heart clench painfully at the sight of Kili's damaged body. He had told her that he had been wounded during the battle, that it had been bad. But he had never told her of the whole extent of his injuries, had always avoided the topic when it came up. And Tarya had never realized just how close Kili must have been to dying until now that she saw the large nasty line of ragged skin running across his muscular torso. His left shoulder was adorned with a nasty scar as well, and Tarya could only guess that it was from an arrow that had pierced him there, for it looked similar to the large scar on her own stomach.

She couldn't help the silent tears that she had been trying hard to hold back before escaping her eyes now as she took a deep breath, simply watching as Kili came closer again without being able to move a muscle. He had thrown his tunic to the floor carelessly and though Tarya was unsure – and quite frankly a bit scared – of what he was going to do, she didn't protest or move away as Kili came to a halt right before her, his warm breath washing over her face as he looked down at her.

"I know how it feels to wake up to a world that is nothing like the one you knew," he said, voice low as she returned his gaze, unable to look away. Tarya couldn't even protest as he grabbed hold of her right wrist almost painfully and lifted her hand to put it onto his chest, her palm flat against the ragged skin of his scar. Tarya could feel Kili's heart beating rapidly underneath it. "I have scars that remind me of those I've lost, too. And it pains me more than you can ever guess to know that I lived while they died. We were supposed to return home, all of us. Rebuild the kingdom of old to give our people what they deserve. Thorin was supposed to become the king he was always supposed to be. But we failed him, and everything that we had planned burned to ashes before our eyes."

Tarya couldn't find the words to form a reply, and she merely stared on as Kili continued, taking another half step forward, so that his bare chest was grazing the front of her green tunic. His fingers were still wrapped tightly around her wrist, and Tarya's breath hitched slightly in her throat as she realized just how close they were. They had never been so intimate with each other again since the night she had woken up and he had slept in her bed beside her. Kili seemed to feel the same way, for his eyes softened ever so slightly, though there was still a hard edge to his features that made him look slightly darker than usual.

"We have all lost bits and pieces of ourselves in that battle, Tarya," he continued lowly. "But even if I have lost myself, I thank Mahal every day that I haven't lost you. I don't care what anyone in this mountain says or thinks of our union. I don't care if you become a princess or not. You don't have to be one if you don't want to, for all I care you could refuse the title, I'm sure there's a possibility to do something about that if you really wanted to. But I won't lose you again. Not because of this. I have lost you so many times already; I refuse to do it again. I want you, Tarya. I want you to be my wife, I want you to be my friend, I want you to be by my side for the rest of my days. And the only person that I will accept keeping me from being with you… is you."

Tarya blinked at him, feeling her insides warm and at the same time churn slightly at his words. He didn't want to lose her, but if she decided to leave, he would let her, even if it would break his heart and hers. Tarya knew it. She could feel it, see it in his eyes. Her mouth was dry as she tried to find her voice, but again, Kili was faster.

"I will not force you to stay if you want to leave this mountain. I will not stop you if you don't feel like you want this – me – anymore. I won't judge you if you decide that you can't make a home here," he said quietly, his voice raw with emotion as his thumb started to trail small circles on her wrist and his grip loosened slightly. "But I know that you love me as I love you, and I know that all your doubts merely come from letting others define who you are and who you are supposed to be. But none of them know you or have a right to judge you in any way. None of them have been through what we have. You are stronger and braver than all of them and they will regret ever having been hostile towards you once you show them who you really are."

Tarya's gaze dropped from Kili's eyes, and she sniffled quietly, letting her forehead sink the few centimetres forward against his bare chest as more tears escaped from behind her closed lids. Kili's free hand came up to cup the back of her head as he held her against him, and Tarya could feel his steady heartbeat rhythmically thumping against the palm of her hand that still lay on his chest. She felt him incline his head then, and she could feel his breath against the shell of her ear as he murmured his next words.

"I know you're wounded, inside and out. I am, too. But if you would only let me, I could show you that no matter how deep our scars go, we can heal together."

Tarya let out a shuddering breath that collided with the naked skin of his torso, and she could feel Kili shiver slightly in return. For a moment, she wondered whether he was cold, but the room was warm with the light of the open fire on the opposite wall, and his skin was giving off heat like a furnace beneath her hand. Tarya took a moment to gather her thoughts as she ran her fingers lightly over his warm skin, her eyes trained on the light dark hair that lined his torso, dipping and moving along the curves of his muscles down to the waistband of his pants. Kili shivered again and Tarya pulled back, looking up at him and frowning slightly at the darkened state of his eyes. But he didn't look angry anymore; there was only warmth in his deep brown eyes.

"I don't want to leave," she whispered quietly, staring up at him as he held her still trapped within his embrace. "It was never my intention to leave you. And I do want to make a home here, Kili, with you. I simply don't feel like myself anymore and that is making it very hard for me to… find my place."

"How can I help you?" Kili asked quietly, releasing her wrist to lift his hand and brush a few strands of hair behind her ear. Tarya smiled faintly, touched by his genuine effort to support her in any way possible. Maybe she didn't have the approval of many dwarves in this mountain, Tarya thought, but she didn't need it, either. As long as she knew that she had some people that were there for her, the people she actually cared about, she could find enough strength to face whatever was to come.

"I already asked Ori to teach me how to read," Tarya said quietly, lowering her gaze from Kili's eyes to his collarbone. "And write. I thought that if I had something to do, I would not feel so useless all the time."

"That's good," Kili said encouragingly, and Tarya could hear the surprise in his voice mixed with a small amount of pride. Tarya just nodded, and looked back up at him, her hand still lingering on his bare chest as he returned her gaze. "What can I do?"

"Be less protective," she answered carefully, already anticipating the reaction her request would cause. And as she had thought, Kili's brows drew together into a frown as he slightly leaned back to get a better look at her. Tarya quickly continued before he could say anything. "I know that you worry for me. And I appreciate that, Kili, I really do. But I'm not some damsel in distress that needs to be watched over day and night. I'm an Amarok, I can take care of myself. And I need to do that if I want to be myself again."

"What exactly do you mean by that?" Kili asked, still frowning at her, though she could see that he was trying to understand. She sighed quietly, giving him a small smile.

"I mean that I am a wolf and I need to go my own way sometimes," the Amarok replied. "Sometimes I feel caged, and sometimes I feel suffocated within these walls of stone. I need to go outside, at least once in a while, and feel the air and hear the sound of the trees rustling in the wind. I need to explore my new home, Kili, without your constant help."

The brunet dwarf sighed deeply, taking a step back and at the same time putting his hands on her shoulders as he answered. "I understand that. I think. But I don't feel very comfortable with the thought of you doing all this on your own. What if anything happens? What if –"

"I can take care of myself, Kili, you know that."

"I do, but… it's just…" he trailed off as Tarya took a step towards him again, closing the distance between them as she took his face in her hands. He didn't resist as she pulled him down and planted a soft kiss on his lips, and Tarya sighed quietly as his hands found their way to her waist, pulling her further into him without hesitation. Kili returned the kiss eagerly, and as Tarya's hands wrapped around his neck to get even closer to him, she realized how much she had missed being as near to the brunet dwarf. How much she had missed him during the days that they had been together and yet not close.

"And besides," she murmured once they had parted again, her cheeks flushed due to the fact that not even a sheet of paper would have fit between them anymore. She slightly pulled back, her hands slipping from Kili's neck to his shoulders and down to his chest. He pressed a small kiss to her forehead before she continued, though he quickly pulled back once she uttered her next words. "I have actually made a friend today. It might be good if I go out by myself more often."

"A friend, hm?" Kili answered, trying to sound neutral and failing miserably. The words came out in a mixture of huff and growl, and Tarya raised her eyebrows at him upon noticing it. Kili cleared his throat awkwardly as he returned her gaze.

"I take it you don't like my new friend?"

"I don't know him," Kili answered gruffly, and Tarya felt his hold around her waist tighten slightly as he pressed her against him. "I don't trust him."

Tarya looked at the brunet dwarf for a moment, taking in the hard line of his jaw as he clenched his teeth together. During their journey, Tarya had learned from Gloìn that dwarves were prone to be a rather possessive and protective race. She remembered the redheaded warrior telling her once about how much he disliked other men 'roaming' around his wife, as he had put it. Tarya had never quite understood what he had meant then, not seeing how something as unimportant as that could be so problematic in a relationship. But now she saw that Kili was indeed jealous, though she didn't know whether he was really jealous of Borin, someone he had never even seen, or just unsettled by the thought that other men – or dwarves – would 'roam' around her without him being there, just as Gloìn had told her. Which, of course, wasn't the case. Tarya would never let anyone get as close to her as Kili. She didn't trust many people, and she had never offered her trust as deeply to anyone as she had to him. She could only hope that he had done the same.

"You might not trust him," Tarya murmured quietly, looking up at the brunet dwarf as her hands moved back up to the sides of his face, her fingers stroking lightly over his stubbly cheeks. "But do you trust me?"

Kili closed his eyes for a moment, seemingly defeated in his argument as he nodded quietly. Tarya smiled then, a warm smile that actually reached her eyes, and she leaned up to press another kiss to his lips, smiling even wider as he huffed slightly into their kiss.

"You know I do," he said against her lips as he pulled away to look at her. Tarya merely kept smiling up at him, and she could see Kili's walls crack after a few seconds, his stern expression giving way to a softer one as a compliant smile worked its way onto his lips. The dwarf shook his head, sighing quietly. "I will try to do as you wish, then. But I'm not happy with it."

"I know," Tarya answered softly, pulling away from his embrace in order to take his hand. Kili merely followed in confusion as she led him over to the large bed on the other side of the room. "Just trust that I know what I'm doing, as I always do."

"Debatable."

"Oh, hush."

"What are you doing?" Kili asked once they reached the bed and Tarya sat down on it, scrambling over to lie on the right side. She looked up at him, seeing several questions mirroring in his eyes but she just smiled at him, and pulled lightly on his hand so he would join her. Kili complied, although reluctantly, and it was a few moments later that they were lying next to each other on the soft furs of the bed.

"It's very improper, you know," Kili teased lightly as she moved closer to him and carefully laid her head on his chest, one hand coming up to rest next to her face. Her fingers softly stroked over his warm skin again, skimming lightly over his scar here and there. Tarya heard Kili sigh silently before he continued. "For a lady and man to lie together before marriage."

"It's a good thing I'm a wolf and not a lady then, eh?"

Tarya smiled at the rumbling chuckle that vibrated through Kili's chest beneath her ear, and it was just a second later that she could feel his arm wrap around her and pulling her a little closer still. "You always tell me that I need to rest," she murmured then, feeling her body relax in his arms and her tiredness overthrow her. "And since you are so concerned for my safety, you may watch over me when I sleep. I am merely thinking of preserving your peace of mind with this arrangement."

"How very generous of you," Kili mocked lightly, leaning down and pressing a small kiss to the top of her head as his hand leisurely stroked down her spine and back up. Tarya merely nodded sleepily against his chest. After that, silence reigned over the room for a while and it was only when Tarya thought Kili had already fallen asleep, his chest rising and falling with steady deep breaths beneath her, that she uttered the words that she hadn't said to him since before they had gone to war.

"I love you, Kili…" she whispered into the silence of the room, and though she hadn't been expecting an answer, she felt Kili's arms tighten around her and as she looked up, she could see him looking down at her warmly in the now shadowy light of the chamber. The fire was already going out as he smiled at her with a happiness that she hadn't seen on him for a while.

"I love you, too, Tarya."