ARGH! Without lying I have been TRYING to upload this freaking chapter since 2 days ago! Seriously! And I'm not lying on this one. On Thursday my internet was horrible! Not even Google could open! And then on Friday(this may sound scary.) a small earthquake hit the exact same moment I was on fanfiction literally JUST about to press the button upload.(Yes, an earthquake on Christmas eve.) Obviously I wasn't going to turn the computer on the same day after that. I'm ok, don't worry. That was like wow...
Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man in any way.
Chapter 15: Bloodshed
'The soft beat of his heart ringed in my ears. Sweet soft melody ripping my ears apart. His cries, his desperate cries shatter my longed existence. What is it boy? Do you hate me? Do you hate me that much? Don't you love me? This child, my child holding onto life. A - ah! Now I've gone and done it. Sweet little boy, young little Allen... I'm sorry...
All I wanted was to help, to help you overcome, so what is wrong? Is it that bad to possess you like this? Was it not you who wished to escape reality? Was it not you who could not come to a decision. So tell me...why are you crying? Why are you angry at me? Staring at me from the other side of that filthy mirror. I did it all, everything and all just so you could move on. You could not come to accept your life as an Exorcist, your betrayal, child oh child burning in the ashes of despair, go be it, be free, let's see if your able to withstand this wretched world. Let's see if that will of yours is able to accept reality and move on...go on you dumb child!'
Allen widened his eyes as he heard the sound of a finger snap. He looked around the bathroom searching for the sound. Nothing was there, nobody was there, only Timcampy who for some unknown reason he had searched for. Just him. Allen blinked. He then looked back at the mirror to where Neah stared at him, not with his trademark smile, but instead, a saddened face. A face so sad it could just rip Allen apart but it didn't.
Allen widened his mouth a bit. His eyes hidden in between the shadows of his hair. Small wet tears fell down his cheek. Allen raised his arm and placed it in front of the mirror. He seemed to be about to say something until -
*BANG!*
Allen heard the shouts of a woman and the sound of walls breaking. His cursed eye suddenly activated, giving him slight pain. Allen remained a bit dazed for mere seconds staring at Neah who imitated Allen's tear. Allen did his best as to analyze the situation. He looked down towards the floor and then up towards Timcampy, glumly. He then smiled towards Timcampy and then at Neah. He whispered unheard words with his smile, shook his head and got up. He opened the door and looked around.
Moore remained paralyzed on the ground of the dusty room. Her view and entire body paralyzed. She stared at a huge round Akuma that stood in front her.
" Stop it! " Allen looked up towards the Akuma and then at Moore.
He ran towards her and shook her." Moore! "
" Moore! " Moore suddenly blinked and looked up towards Allen.
Allen noticed as she remained her composure. " Moore, are you all right, are you inju - "
Allen suddenly felt the woman raise her hands towards him. She brought Allen into a tender hug and cried on his shoulders. Allen remained paralyzed but at the same time attentive at the Akuma that only stared.
" Huh? What? Why doesn't it attack, why doesn't i - "
A flash crossed Allen's mind. " ah, that's right... "
Allen lost himself on his own thoughts as Moore cried on his shoulders. " Mark! Mark! "
He on the other hand looked down closing his eyes. " I'm a Noah, I told him to stop. Of course he would obey... "
Allen pressed Moore's hug back. He closed his eyes. " I don't know who Mark is, but if this Akuma is Mark then he is dead. " He whispered coldly yet in pain.
The woman broke the hug and looked up at him with no expression.
Allen noticing what he had said quickly raised his arms. " Ah - no! That's not what I mean. Um - "
She looked down ignoring what he said. " Dead? What do you mean dead? "
Allen lowered his arm and looked the other way, fainting a smile. " Um you see I can see the souls of Akuma's with my cursed eye. And uhhh - "
Suddenly Allen noticed the sharp pain in his eye worsen. Blood dripped down it. He looked down and chuckled. He gently pushed Moore away from him. Moore not really reacting much in her shock. He got up and glared at the Akuma in sadness. He stared up at the soul of a woman who was screaming on top of the Akuma's shell. Allen's eyes glittered.
" This soul, I must save it. It's crying, Right there in front of me. My eyes can see it. Her suffering... "
He widened his eyes. " Now that I think about it, didn't I want to become an exorcist in order to save this Akumas? Well here I am in front of one, no Earl or Noah to stop me from killing this Akuma and saving this soul... "
Allen felt a flash of pain hit his head. He raised his arms towards his head breathing heavily.
" So why then...am I not killing it. "
Allen lowered his hands ignoring the pain. " Explode. " Slipped from his mouth.
" With this the woman's soul will be saved. "
Allen then turned his head towards Moore and smiled his innocent smile. She who looked up at him in horror and who also seemed in pain.
" It's all right now Moore, it's hard to explain but both his soul and that woman's soul will be saved. "
" Huh? What are you - what are you - talking about... "Moore's face remained in shock. She could just not come to understand all that was going on. Nothing, nothing she understood, only that Mark, her reason to live was dead and this kid what?
Allen's smile dropped. " I should explain this to her more accurately later. "
A bright light shone behind Allen's back. He quickly looked back towards the Akuma with a huge happy grin stuck into him. He was so glad he could finally come to save an Akuma. Moore didn't understand at the moment but he would be sure to at least see the Akuma's soul be freed. Just as he looked back his eyes widened in true deep horror. His smile dropped automatically as a scream slipped hi mouth. He raised his arms towards his mouth. His entire body trembled. Allen fell down on his knees at the scene he stared at.
" No! No! Only my innocence can save Akuma! "
Tears fell down his eyes. He could not help but let out his loud cries. " If he explodes himself then - "
He raised his arms towards his head. " WHAT HAVE I DONE! "
Allen quickly raised his arms towards the Akuma. " No, wait! I take it back! Don't! " His voice cracked and barely understandable.
" Understood" The light stopped for a moment. Allen sighed in relief.
*BOOM!*
Allen's arm still remained in mid air. His face stuck on his half opened mouth and his eyes fell down at the dusty cold floor crying. Moore could clearly hear his shouts.
" What? Why is Allen crying? Didn't he say my brother was...saved? "
Moore crawled up beside him. She stared at him in shock.
" Why - why do you cry Allen? " She battled to speak up.
" How could this happen? This young boy, this kid. "
" Mark was saved right Allen? Right? " She held Allen's arm trying to make a smile.
" How could this kid I saved ruin my life! "
Allen's cries softened , he looked up at Moore with lost eyes. Eyes that clearly told her no. He didn't spoke words. Moore raised her other arm at her face at the realization. Allen looked down at Moore's arm. More tears fell as he stared down.
He then looked up at Moore and smiled. " Yes, I saved him. " His voice was cracked up but filled with reassurance.
Moore looked up at him not really catching up. Allen caressed Moore's wound. Her arm was bleeding. It had an Akuma bullet wound.
The woman laughed and closed her eyes. " Is that so? " Allen widened his eyes as the woman kissed his forehead.
" Thank you. " She whispered. Before Allen could react stars appeared on her body's skin. She fell towards the ground screaming.
" Moore! Moore! " He shouted as her body turned to dust.
" Huh? What just... "
Bloody tears fell down his activated cursed eyes. " What just happened... "
" What exactly... " He got up and slowly looked up towards the Akuma's dust " Was this because I concentrated to much on myself? "
Allen found no words or way to react. Somehow he felt a feeling of guiltiness. A feeling of horror. A feeling that told him. 'This is your fault boy.' but at the same time he felt blank. He looked up at the Akuma in disbelief. He then looked down at the dust of her corpse.
" Did she just...die? Moore? Just like that? But... "
He then looked up towards the Akuma's dust.
" Did I just made a soul disappear? "
Allen raised his hands in front of his face. Enough so he could see them. They were covered in dust. The dust fell down his hands as they trembled.
Allen gritted his teeth. He fell to the ground crying loud sobs. His cries echoed in the home.
Allen punched his own stomach continually. " DAMN IT! DAMN IT! "
" Why? Why hadn't I realized before? "
Allen remembered as Moore had taken care of him. As she picked him up on the cold snow. As she offered him food.
" Moore! Moore saved me! She saved me from that cold snow! But in change I... I... "
" DAMN IT! " He shouted at the sky.
" Allen. "
He heard a voice call him on his head. Allen automatically noticing who it was.
" Neah... "
" I'm sorry... " The voice did not giggle but instead spoke in shame.
More tears fell down Allen's cheeks.
" You asshole... " He murmured. No response.
" YOU ASSHOLE! " He shouted crying.
" It wasn't my fault Allen... " Neah whispered softly. Remorse hinted in his voice.
Allen widened his eyes at the realization. " Wha? Huh? - "
" It was your own weakness Allen... "
Allen got up from the floor and looked around. He narrowed his eyes and exhaled. He looked up toward the night sky.
" I - I'm weak...? " He whispered in shame at himself.
" If only I - If only I 'd been stronger. If only I wouldn't had been weak enough to fall into my instincts and follow Neah's wishes then Moore, then Mark, then that woman's soul..."
Allen tried his best to clean his tears with his sleeves. " Then they would still be alive! "
The sun rose. Allen was sat on the floor. His eyes drowsy and tired. He chuckled sadly. " So I could finally cry huh..."
He looked up at the sky and bit his lips. A tear fell down his cheek, he's expression unknown.
" Am I...a murderer? " Allen held himself from falling down on his knees crying again.
Allen got up from the dust and made his way towards the outside. Blood dripping from the arms he tried to rip off but failed to.
MEANWHILE...
Kanda stared angrily at a Finder that smiled nervously. Komui sighed.
" W- What did you say! " Kanda took the Finder by his shirt.
The Finder kept laughing nervously. " Um, according to our information posters of a white haired child were posted all over a small town here in London. At first he was reported missing but then, as soon as morning came, he was reported as wanted. "
Komui blinked. " Wanted as in a criminal? "
" Apparently... " The finder looked the other way. " Apparently it was reported that a young officer found a white haired teen half dead in the snow with a golden toy. She took him to her home for a day to keep him safe but then... "
Komui raised his finger towards his mouth. " Golden toy? Of what I know only Cross... "
The Finder lowered his gaze. " The next morning both the white haired boy, Officer Moore, her brother in law Mark, the chief of the police station and Officer Charles were reported missing. It is suspected they were either abducted or murdered as there was blood in the ground and a huge amount of dust both at the church and at a home. Both heavily destroyed. "
Kanda let go of the Finder. He looked the other way. His eyes widened. Komui remained paralyzed as well.
" The suspect of the murder massacre is the white haired teen with the scar on his eye. " The finder declared. " Wouldn't that be Allen Walker? "
" K- Kanda... " Komui murmured half not being able to speak his words.
Kanda didn't even turn his head as to look at Komui. He hid his face.
" Allen Walker, may really be a traitor... " Komui's voice trembled as he raised his hand towards his mouth in disbelief of his very words. He felt sick.
Kanda closed his eyes and walked away. Komui followed. Both men remained silent the rest of the way.
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