Their apartment was entirely too quiet. They had walked down the hall and up to their bedroom in complete and total silence, and Meredith had immediately locked herself in the bathroom, leaving Derek to change into his pajamas and anticipate what was to come as he nervously tapped his fingers against his stomach as he waited for her to come out of the bathroom.

When she finally opened the door and stepped into the bedroom, it was all Derek could do not to let the tears gall. He couldn't even remember the last time he had seen her in her own sweatshirt of pajama pants, having long ago taking to wearing his clothes to be, when they even bothered. But now, here she was before him wearing her own Columbia sweatshirt and a pair of Hello Kitty pajama pants. As stupid as it sounded, he felt like he was being punched in the gut, knowing that she was hurt and that was why she didn't want to wear his clothes to be.

"Meredith," he whispered.

"Don't," she shook her head. "Derek, I…you hurt me so badly tonight."

Tears filled Derek's eyes as he shook his head. "I never meant…"

"Let me talk," she insisted. "I know you didn't mean to, but you did, nonetheless. You didn't trust me, Derek, and you promised that you would always trust me. And it hurts me, it really truly hurts me to know that you think I would sleep with someone else. Especially my professor."

"I never said that," Derek insisted. "Meredith, you have to know that I would never believe that about you. It's him I don't trust."

"But it's the same thing," Meredith whispered. "You wouldn't have gotten so upset if you didn't think that I would do that."

"Mer," Derek breathed. "God, I love you more than anything in the world. How could you doubt that?"

"Love doesn't equal trust, Derek," she whispered. "And I thought you trusted me."

"It's not that I don't trust, you, because I do," Derek insisted. "With every bone in my body, every ounce of my soul….I trust you."

"Then why did you blow up like that?" Meredith asked. "Derek, you've seen other guys hit on me before. And I know you don't like it, because Lord knows I hate when girls hit on you. But he wasn't hitting on me. He wasn't even flirting with me."

"That right there," Derek replied. "That's what bothers me. Meredith, you don't even see it."

"Now I'm stupid?" Meredith asked. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe you're just paranoid?"

"I have a right to be paranoid, someone's been stalking you," Derek snapped. "And don't put words in my mouth. You've been doing it all night, and I hate it when you do that."

Meredith sighed as she slid under the covers. "I don't want to fight again," she said. "Let's just…go to sleep."

Derek inhaled sharply. "Meredith," he whispered. "I love you."

He heard her inhale a shaky breath, and the four words that came out of her mouth next might as well have been a knife in his chest. "Go to sleep, Derek."

Tears filled his eyes as he turned on his side, trying to remember the last time they had gone to bed without saying that. In the back of his head, he knew that they'd always said those three words before bed, no matter how angry they were at each other, and he couldn't ignore the pain he felt as he wondered what her silence meant for their future.

XXXXX

Meredith felt numb as she made her way down the stairs the next morning. Derek had already been out of bed when she'd woken, and she'd spent a good amount of time staring at the ceiling wondering what the hell had happened the night before.

They'd been having a nice evening and then Derek had gone off the deep end the minute her professor gave her a friendly smile, and one thing had led to another and she hadn't even told him she loved him. She still loved him, of course she did, but he had obviously needed to hear her say it, and she couldn't even work up the courage to do that for him.

The apartment was silent, and she sighed deeply as she walked into the kitchen, hoping that he hadn't packed up and left her. She had no idea what she would do if that happened, but she wouldn't blame him. If he stopped telling her he loved her…she didn't even want to think about the emotions that she would feel if that happened.

As she pulled open a cabinet to get a glass out, her eyes landed on a note on the counter.

Went to see Dad.

She inhaled deeply as she looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold back the tears. No name. No cheesy heart. No instructions for where she could find a breakfast that he had left for her.

No I love you.

She slammed the cupboard door shut as she stormed over to the couch, curling into a ball as she allowed the tears to come.

Derek never went to see his dad like this unless something was really wrong. He went every time they made it to his mom's house for dinner, and of course on both of their birthdays and Christmas and Thanksgiving. But the last time Derek had left out of the blue like this had been four years earlier, when he'd crashed that stupid motorcycle and nearly died. And the fight they'd had at that point in time paled in comparison to where they were now.

She took a shaky breath as she stood and made her way back to the kitchen, hoping that a glass of water would help her tears. She made it halfway to the kitchen before she froze, seeing an envelope sitting on the floor in front of the door, one that definitely hadn't been there only minutes before. Someone had slid something under the door, and although the police had assured her that they had her stalker in jail, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched.

She ran over to the curtains and pulled them shut quickly before she walked cautiously over to the door, standing over the envelope for a moment before she reached down and picked it up, slowly opening it and pulling out more pictures.

Except these were of Derek. And they had been tampered with.

The picture of Derek shaving over the sink in their bathroom showed a pool of red in the sink, blood instead of water.

Derek making French toast showed his entire front on fire.

She and Derek in bed, his expression one that she had seen millions of times, his head thrown back in pleasure as her mouth worked to please him. At the bottom of the picture were two words written in blood red.

I'm next.

The last picture made her want to run to the trash can and empty her stomach. A close up of Derek as he slept soundly, which had obviously been taken by whoever had been in their apartment the week before. A noose had been drawn around his neck, and at the bottom of the picture was written So long, Shepherd.

Meredith threw the pictures onto the counter, unable to look at them any longer. Tears filled her eyes as she reached for the phone, needing to have a word with these so called detectives.

"Meredith Shepherd for Detective White," she said, trying to control her voice.

As she was put on hold, she stared at the closed curtains, wondering how anyone had even been able to take these pictures. They'd made sure to keep them securely closed all the time so nothing like this would happen. But then it dawned on her.

Whoever had been watching her had been watching Derek too. He just hadn't wanted them to know it yet.

"Mrs. Shepherd," Detective White's tired voice said as he came over the line. "I'm sorry we haven't been in touch, but we haven't had many leads on this stalker of yours."

"I just…what?" Meredith asked.

"This guy's one of the sneakiest I've ever seen," Detective White sighed. "Didn't match a fingerprint in the system, and no one who matches your neighbor's description lives in that building. But I assure you, we'll keep monitoring your apartment and keep our eyes out…"

"But you called me yesterday," Meredith replied. "You called and said that you had a guy in custody and you were ninety five percent sure that it was him."

"I assure you, Mrs. Shepherd, that we did not speak yesterday," he said. "And we never call the victims until we're one hundred percent sure."

"So you mean…he's still out there?" Meredith breathed.

"Mrs. Shepherd, is there something I should know?" the detective asked.

"Yes," Meredith said. "I mean…I just got more pictures. Of Derek. Someone just slid them under the door while I was right here. And we had a fight and he's not here, and I'm alone. And scared, because he's still out there, even though you said he wasn't but that wasn't really you…"

"Alright, calm down," Detective White said. "I'm on my way now. Just sit tight and don't go anywhere. If something happens call 911 and they'll alert me."

"Okay," Meredith whispered, hanging up the phone.

She moved slowly to sit down at the kitchen table, never taking her eyes off the door. She stared blankly at it for several minutes before there was a loud pounding on the other side, causing her to shriek in fright and jump out of her chair.

"Meredith Shepherd, I swear to God, if I dragged my ass all the way across the country to help you fix things with Derek and you're already having make up sex with him, I'm going to kick your ass."

Meredith sighed in relief as she recognized her best friend's voice, walking quickly to the door, unlocking it and pulling Addison into the apartment before she closed the door again, chaining it and locking it quickly.

"Addie," she said. "What in the world are you doing here?"

"I came to make sure you're okay," Addison sighed, reaching out to hug her. "I've never heard you more upset than you were last night."

"Oh," Meredith said. "Yeah, it's…bad."

Addison sighed as she pulled back to examine Meredith. "You look horrible," she said. "Meredith, is this all because of Derek?"

"No," Meredith sighed. She swallowed hard as she pulled Addison into the kitchen flipping over the pictures carefully, trying not to put her own finger prints on them.

"Oh gross, I don't want to see your sex pictures," Addison started, then frowned as her eyes landed on the other pictures. "Meredith…what are these?"

"Someone's…watching us," Meredith sighed. She led Addison to the couch, telling her everything that had happened from the first pictures to the fake phone call and their fight to the pictures she had just found. "And now Derek's out there at his dad's grave, except for all I know someone could have taken the chance to follow him out there and…" her words choked off as she sobbed quietly, and Addison leaned forward to hug her.

"Meredith, don't think like that," she whispered. "I…that won't happen."

"How do you know?" Meredith asked, pulling back to look at her. "That psycho drew a noose around his neck, Addison. A noose. And for all I know, my husband could be lying in the cemetery, bleeding to death and all he can think is that I didn't tell him I loved him."

Before Addison could respond, there was another knock at the door and both girls jumped in fright, clinging to each other as they stared at the closed door.

"NYPD," a voice said after a moment.

Meredith sighed in relief as she made her way to the door, still clutching onto Addison's hand.

"Look through the peephole," Addison whispered. "If it's really them they hold up their badge."

Meredith swallowed hard as she looked out the door, seeing Detective White's badge and gently unlocked the door. "Detective," she said, allowing him to step through the door.

"Mrs. Shepherd," Detective White sighed. "Your husband's still not home?"

"No," Meredith shook her head. "Do you…I mean…do you think something happened to him?"

"We haven't gotten any calls," Detective White sighed. "How long ago did he leave?"

"He was gone when I woke up," Meredith whispered, suddenly feeling light headed.

"Alright, calm down," Detective White said, helping her to a chair. "Now, let me see these pictures."

"They're…counter."

Detective White moved to look at the pictures as Addison stood beside Meredith, gently running her fingers through her hair as she made every effort she could to comfort her. The apartment was painfully silent for a moment before the door started to move gently, as if someone was trying to open it. Meredith and Addison grasped for each other as Detective White's hand automatically reached for his gun, but when the door swung open everyone relaxed to see Derek standing in the doorway.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Derek," Meredith breathed, jumping out of the chair and rushing into his arms. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry. I love you. I love you, Derek, and I'm so sorry I didn't tell you that last night."

Derek wrapped his arms around his wife, closing his eyes as he breathed her in. He was relieved to have her back, but that didn't chase away the worry that came with seeing Addison and Detective White there with her.

"It's okay, Mer," he whispered. "I love you too."

"I get it if you don't," she whispered. "Because I completely and totally over reacted, and…"

"Meredith," he said, placing a hand over his lips. "Don't even suggest it. I love you. More than anything in the world."

"Okay," she whispered, cuddling into his side as he walked further into the apartment.

"What's going on?" he repeated his earlier question.

Detective White sighed as he looked up from the pictures. "It looks like things are about to get ugly," he said.

Derek felt fear squeeze his heart as he held Meredith closer. Things were already pretty ugly, but he knew they could get worse. Much worse.