Chap 15 Had to

They all sat around the table. It has now midday. Marcie was being taken care of by Saphira were she was away from the debate. Saphira and the other dragons were listening in on their Riders.

"I think she should be kill and that's that," Luka stated, "The longer she lives, the more she can plan to get out of her, even though it's impossible, and the more we have to worry. If we get rid of the elf now, hardly anyone will find out that she's dead and the easier we can sleep at night."

"Then the Varden and the elves will wonder why she hasn't contacted them," Kali put forward.

"What are you thinking about?" her father asked.

Kali sighed and slumped slightly in the chair and rubbed her eyes. Even after they had caught Arya she still hadn't been able to sleep. She straightened, "One elf wouldn't make a difference for us if she is sent back. All she knows is that Murtagh and I have three children and that you are my father. What harm is that going to do? If she goes back then they think they have the upper hand because they have inside information. We would know if someone of the Varden comes into the city so there is not possible way they can get to us without us knowing."

"What are you trying to say?" he asked, "To let her go?" Kali nodded her head once, "That is insane!"

"Call me crazy, but I have a point," she stated, "She can go back, give the Varden and the rest information with won't really matter and they think they have the upper hand. They'll become careless. It's the same with your soldiers. They think they can't die so they are careless and camp in the worst places. The Varden had already destroyed over seventy parties because of it. They can become careless and we could catch them off their guard."

"She will wonder why we're letting her go," Eragon said, "She's not stupid. She'll know that there's something going on. Why don't you want to get rid of her, full stop?"

"Eragon, people get tired of spilling blood after a while, even if it is for your survival," she started, "I'm tired of this war, I'm tired of everyone being on edge not being able to trust anyone. I'm tired of everything that comes with the war. What comes from it? Death and destruction. The side that wins will win but what would they lose in the process? Family, friends, neighbours, the odd person you just happen to know. I don't want anything to do with it and so do so many others but they are dragged into it unwillingly."

"Whether we're unwilling or not, we get the same results," Murtagh continued, "People will still die left, right and centre. I think we've earned the choice to have a life but even then, we don't. Many people who have done nothing wrong will want the same. I'm not saying that everything has to be perfect because it never will be, but for something like this? Come on, no one wants to die for something like a war. The war should be avoided in the first place."

"But it never is," Galbatorix sighed, "People do not like one thing so they try to destroy it."

Kali snorted, "You should talk. You're partly the reason we're in this mess!" She hummed for a second, "Let me try some psychology. Why did you kill all the Riders?"

Galbatorix looked at her, "Now's not the time Kali. It happened years ago."

"Oh, but it is the time. We're in a war because you started it. I want to know why."

"No."

"Is it because they refused to give you another dragon? Because you were careless and got your own dragon killed?"

He stood up, "Kali, enough!"

She stood up also, "Is it?! I think I have a right to know! Is it because of that?! Because you got Jarnunvosk killed?! IS IT?!"

"YES IT IS!"

"THEN WHY IN GODS NAME DID YOU DO IT?! I KNOW HE WAS PRACTICALLY HALF OF YOU BUT YOU CAN GET OVER IT! I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WOULD MISS HIM BUT THIS IS ALMOST FIVE HUNDRED YEARS LATER!!" Everyone was staring at her, "You're just a bloody coward," she hissed. She walked out of the room and slammed it shut before anyone could say a word.

Kali quickly made her was down to the dungeon cells. She found a soldier and demanded to know where the elf was being kept. He took her to one of the secured vaults and opened the door, "Knock three times and I'll open it again for you, princess," he slurred.

She went in and the soldier locked the cell door. The walls were dark and damp; the light only came from the torch on the wall the soldier had just lit. Arya sat huddled in a corner, her left foot shackled but nothing else. The bruises Kali had given her showed clearly. Kali sat down in the opposite corner and looked around. It was better than the cell she had had.

"What are you doing here?" Arya asked.

"Wondering," she replied. She looked around again before chuckling slightly, "At least you have better accommodations than I had. My cell was right next to the sewers but I got company of the rats until I was dragged off for whipping. You're luckier than me, Arya. Luckier than Murtagh and I put together," she let out a small snort, "Hell, everyone is luckier than us; even poor, homeless people. Both of us are blamed for things our father did or, in my case, does."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I wonder that too. I guess you know the problems of royalty. Being forced to do something you don't want to comes with the job. The only person I have is Murtagh because he understands the pain I have and I know his but some things he can't possibly understand." Kali fell silent for a moment, "My problems are not yours; forgive me. Galbatorix and Luka are arguing to kill you off. Murtagh and I are thinking of letting you go and Eragon is in between."

"So what will happen to me?" Arya shifted slightly.

"Personally, I don't have anything against the Varden that I don't have against the Empire but I do want you to know this: the Varden have more help than they think. I will take you to the Varden, but you have to trust me." Arya nodded. "You hate demons, I can accept that but I'm getting you there by demonic means." Kali got up and removed the shackle with magic.

"Why are you helping me?" she asked as she stood, "I'm an elf, you should be trying to destroy me."

"Arya, what happened in the past will stay in the past but whether you want it to affect the present is a different matter. People can choose their own paths, not have it carved out because of what happened centuries ago," Kali sighed, "I learned a long time ago that fate controls everything but fate cannot make you make your choices; it will guide you." She knocked on the door three times.

The moment the door was open, she punched the soldier, knocking him unconscious. She looked down the corridor and saw no one. She waved to Arya to follow her. They passed corridor after corridor until Kali stopped at a door. She opened it and closed it quickly after Arya had gotten in. Kali looked around and saw a sword and three long knives. She handed them to Arya. Before she could do anything, Kali grabbed her arm and oriored.

They landed outside the Varden camp. Arya looked around in disbelief before finally looking at Kali. "How...why?"

"You're safe now. Arya, I want you to do me a favour. I want you to stay with the Varden, you can tell them what happened, what you found out, I don't care but please...don't try to do something like this again, or let anyone try," Kali begged, "Please, and I don't want any more blood spilt. My father doesn't either even though it doesn't show. Tell Nasuada, Orik, your mother and the urgal leader that they have more help than you all think. When the final battle comes, you'll see what I mean." With that, Kali oriored back to the castle leaving Arya perplexed outside the camp.

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Her father found out what she had done soon after she had arrived. She had gotten a good shout at from him and Luka although she barely paid attention. Eragon and Murtagh were indifferent. They knew once she made her mind she wasn't easily swayed.

They went back to their normal routines the next day for lack of a better thing to do. Kali taught Luka the rest on sword fighting although Luka refused to talk to Kali and followed instructions wordlessly, none of the usual chatter they had. Over the next few days Kali seemed to draw herself away from everyone except Murtagh and Marcie. Hardly anyone saw her anymore, she didn't go down to breakfast, lunch nor dinner, she stopped teaching Luka because she had learned how to swordfight and now needed to be taught magic by Murtagh; she didn't even go out to train with the others or practice with Murtagh.

Murtagh seemed to withdraw also but not as much as her. He spoke when spoken to and answered in the least possible syllables or to give out instructions. The occasional "morning" was the closest they could get him to talk. The moment training was finished, he went straight to his room or to have dinner and then to his room.

On occasion Marcie was seen here or there but she disappeared before they could speak with her. They knew Kali was almost always with her and that Kali was teaching her various things. They managed to get very little information out of Murtagh. He was always so quiet nowadays. Even when Galbatorix or the others screamed at him he always looked at them blankly, as if he had stopped caring.

Luka and Eragon became closer still. They had so much free time they had barely anything to do. They knew that there was nothing they could do about Kali or Murtagh but they still voiced their opinions to each other. They knew that it couldn't be good if both of them were shying away from everything. Normally, it would be one of them trying to stop the other but they were both going and they were dragging Marcie with them.

A week passed, then two, then a month. It didn't change. They heard nothing from Kali or Marcie, not even from Murtagh because he refused to even answer their questions. Luka once wondered if Kali had fallen into another coma but Murtagh only shook his head at dinner. She felt guilty because she had shouted at Kali after they had found out that she has freed Arya but Eragon reassured her that that could not possibly be why she was hiding way. But both still wondered. They didn't understand. They didn't understand until Luka had gotten a message from the street rats.

It was morning. Luka, Eragon and Galbatorix were sitting eating breakfast. Marlon flew in from one of the open windows just as Murtagh came in. Marlon flew to Luka and placed the message in front of her before flying away. She opened in curiously. She scanned the letter before her mouth opened in shock. She looked at Eragon in shock and wordlessly handed him the letter.

Luka, I hope you are alright. You haven't been down here for a long time or sent us any messages. Actually, neither has Kali but Marlon refuses to give her the letters. Do you know why? He just snaps at us! I know that something must be up with her. Could you tell us what's wrong?

Mitch spotted her yesterday with the little girl. Kali looked horrible according to him. He said he could barely recognise her! She was in the market, dressed in peasant clothing and so was the little girl. You know the herbalist shop near the Oak bar? She went in there! And above all, she came out with something! Mitch wasn't sure what but she never goes in there, right?

But maybe it wasn't her. Maybe it was someone else. He did say he couldn't really recognise her but he was sure that she had a scar. I, honestly, can't tell you anything other than that. If you could send a reply that would be great; if you're too busy, we understand. Love, Mary.

The letter finished. Eragon felt his jaw was open. He looked at Luka and then at Murtagh, "Why was Kali in the market yesterday?" he blurted.

He wordlessly reached out for the letter which Eragon gave. He read it quickly and handed it back. He shrugged and sat down, reaching for something to eat. Luka finally snapped and stood up.

"Don't shrug at us, Morzansson! I think we have a right to know! You and Kali have been hiding since she let Arya go! What in the bloody shiting pits of hell are you hiding?! And what's more, whatever you and Kali are doing, you're taking Marcie with you! I haven't seen her for almost two bloody MONTHS! You and Kali can do whatever the flip you like but we have a right to know! If you want to be antisocial, that's FINE but at least let us know and make us stop worrying!"

They were all staring at her. Hardly anyone had heard Luka swear or shout before. It goes to show how angry she was. Murtagh stared at her through his fringe. He sat up straight and chuckled slightly; darkly. "Aren't we angry," he smirked. It took all of Luka's willpower to stop from jumping over the table and claw that smirk off his face. He stood up and bent over the table so that he was closer to her and looked her in the eye, "I can't tell you."

He turned and made for the door. Just as he reached the handle something hard collided with his head and smashed. He looked at the floor where the vase lay in pieces. He looked at their shocked faces and smirked again before going out of the room.

Luka sat down with a small thump on the chair. "You know what?" she said to no one in particular, "I've absolutely had it," she stood up suddenly and marched to the door. Eragon quickly followed her, hoping that she didn't do something irrational. Luka stormed all the way to Kali and Murtagh's room and started banging on the door. "OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR!!" she screamed, "LET ME IN, DAMN IT, OR I'LL FIND MY OWN WAY IN!!"

After a minute of shouting and screaming, the door opened slightly. Marcie let them in and quietly closed the door. The curtains were partly closed and barely let any light in. The room was the same really, except it was darker. They saw Kali sitting on the bed looking worse than ever before, even worse than when she was tortured. Murtagh was kneeling on the floor beside her, forcing a steaming cup into her hands.

Kali didn't look up nor did she really notice the cup in her hands. Her hands were trembling like the rest of her body. A silent tear fell down her cheek which Murtagh wiped away gently. "Kali, please," he said lifting the cup in her hands to her lips. She obediently drank whatever was inside the cup, Murtagh helping her. She looked weak and sick. He took the empty cup and placed it on the table. Kali just sat there, staring at nothing.

Murtagh looked up at them and pointed to Marcie's room. They quickly went in with Murtagh following. Marcie stayed with her mother promising to tell them if something happened. He looked at them, waiting for the questions,

"What's wrong with her?" Luka fired, "Why does she look like she's traumatised? Why don't you take her to see Nayara?"

"Nay can't heal depression," he answered quietly, "Anything physical she can fix but not this. She's been getting depressed lately. Today...it's been worse than normal. I know I couldn't hide it forever but I hoped that she would get over it soon. She doesn't want anyone to know. I respect her decision."

"But maybe there is something she could have that would take it away," Luka stated.

"That was what was in the mug she just had. The herbs should help and they do but it comes back after a while. Depending how she feels is how long the drugs work. The happier she is the longer they work. Marcie helps her a lot, more than I do actually," he admitted, "As for your question before, she was in the market to buy the herbs. It was one of the more better days she's had."

"Why is she depressed?" Eragon asked, "Is it something we did?"

Murtagh shook his head, "No, but everything is catching up to her. Her mother, the torture, everything. I know she let herself show it sometimes but she's kept it all hidden for too long. The coma she was on before helped a bit but there was still so much behind that barrier she created. It's so much that it snapped under the pressure. There's nothing left of the barrier but tiny fragments and it's so much that she can't have an emotional breakdown again. She went into shock and now this."

"Can't you just help her build a new, stronger barrier?" Luka wondered.

"Because she just...can't. Sometimes she's Kali and sometimes...she's a random lunatic!" he hissed frustrated, "She changes so fast sometimes I have to wonder if I imagined it being really her. I know that she can't help it and she tries really hard to stay Kali but..."

"She can't." They all looked up at the door. Kali was standing there with Marcie standing uncertainly behind her. She didn't look angry or disappointed or...anything really. She just stood there with her hand on the handle. She looked at Murtagh, "Can I go for a fly?" she asked uncertainly.

"Kali..." he started sighing.

"Please? Marcie can come with me," she said hopefully. Her dull eyes brightened slightly with hope. Murtagh sighed again helplessly. "Please?" she asked, her voice lost the hope and sounded desperate.

"Kali, I...not by yourself and not only with Marcie," he stated firmly. Kali nodded hopelessly at the floor and closed the door again. Murtagh turned and smack his head deliberately on the wall, "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" he hissed.

Eragon stopped him before he could hurt himself more, "Murtagh stop. She needs your help, not this."

"But that's the problem!" Murtagh shouted, "I'm not helping her! Not the way I should be! I should let her go! She needs to get out of here!"

"You said yourself that she shouldn't be by herself," Luka stated calmly.

"But we all know how she's like! She wants to be by herself! Look at her! She's a bloody wreck!"

They heard a crash in the other room, like glass breaking. Before they could move Marcie slammed the door open. "Stop shouting! You're making mummy worse!"

Murtagh was instantly in the other room. Eragon and Luka followed quickly. Kali was crying, sitting on the window ledge. Murtagh held her tightly, rocking her back and forth. "Why couldn't you just have let me die!?" she cried, "Why?! You wouldn't have to be dealing with this?! You wouldn't have to have to take care of me because you don't have to take care of a dead person!!"

"GET MARCIE OUT OF HERE!!" Murtagh yelled at them. Luka instantly got Marcie's hand and took her out of the room, Eragon quickly closing the door. "Shh, honey, come on," he hushed softly, "I want to take care of you. I don't like it when you're like this and I want to make you better."

"You shouldn't," she murmured as she lay her head in his shoulder, "You shouldn't have to take care of me. I shouldn't be here for you to take care of me. I should be dead. Dead and buried. You should only have to worry about your brother and Luka and the kids and...other things that are not me."

"Don't talk like that," he whispered kissing her as she looked up at him, "I don't want you to be dead. You can't die unless I do anyway. Kali, please, I want to help you but I need you to tell me how I can help," he said desperately.

She looked up at him with wide eyes, "Kiss me," she said softly.

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Over the next month, Kali and Murtagh were seen outside more often. Kali was still weak and had a few breakdowns but they were few and far between after that month. If she wasn't flying she was sitting in the garden or in the forest, usually with Marcie. She was only inside for lunch, dinner or sleep.

Murtagh went back to teaching more complex magic to the other two, sometimes with Kali watching. She didn't join the training but taught Marcie how to defend herself with magic. Marcie learned very fast, her druid side easily able to grasp the magic. Kali managed to convince Murtagh to teach her how to defend herself more thoroughly with knives as Marcie already had the basic training.

After the second month, Kali helped with the theory of the magic while Murtagh showed them the spell. Eragon and Luka learned very fast. They switched every week; one week magic, the other with their dragons. Okapi had had a huge growth spurt in the four months and Saphira and Thorn were inseparable, like Eragon and Luka.

The Varden had barely moved from its position according to spies and scouts but the elves had gone straight south, ignoring Uru'Baen, and joined the Varden along with the dwarves and urgals. Galbatorix had gathered them all to plan a battle although Kali barely helped them, still in her fragile state. The army was already gathered, the soldiers having never been left to go home. All that was left were the Riders.

Once they were dismissed, they all gathered in the Dragon Tower entrance including Saphira, Thorn and Okapi. So the war ends in this battle? Okapi huffed, a puff of smoke coming from his nostrils.

"But which side wins?" Kali stated. All of them except Murtagh and Thorn looked at them. "The Empire or the Varden?"

"You help the Varden don't you?" Eragon asked, "Luka and I overheard the conversation the day before training started."

Murtagh nodded, "Yes, we do, but they don't know. We don't agree with everything the Varden and the Empire do but we try to do something. In a way what we are doing is cowardly. If the Empire wins, we're safe because we were fighting with them or if the Varden wins, we reveal ourselves."

"But we have to pick a side," Kali continued as she looked at all of them, "The real question is; what side will you choose?"

N/A: So what do you think?