Profound Bond – Chapter Four
Castiel watches as Dean talks to Rufus and gathers his weapons, preparing for his journey to Arkansas. Rufus gives Dean all the relevant information, and Castiel can feel Uriel hovering around his given partner, watching, but not wishing to interact with the humans. Castiel has never understood his brothers disdain them, how Uriel and Balthazar look down on the humans that they work and relate with.
Castiel watches Dean mostly. It has more to do with the fact that he is immensely interested with this small human and less to do with the fact that he was assigned to be Dean's partner.
Well, not assigned really. It was Castiel's watching that first brought him to this place, when he observed Dean's soul for the first time. Zachariah had made himself known to the ones who run the building, and they had in turn told Dean and those that he worked with.
Castiel had begged, pleaded, pulled in favours, and reasoned with Zachariah, all trying to convince the superior angel that he should be assigned Dean as a partner instead of Uriel or Zachariah himself. He had said that Dean would cooperate better with him than then, but he had had to say it tactically, since he did not want to offend either of his siblings. Castiel had, with the support of Anael, been given Dean as his charge and partner on earth.
When Castiel had first looked at his soul nearly two years ago, it had been more tattered and shredded than it is now. The creases and tears in the soul had slowly been knitting together, until recently, when they had begun to tear anew once more.
This had puzzled Castiel, but he saw no way he could fix it, so he did not bring up the topic with Dean.
Out of all the humans that Castiel had watched over millennia of being assigned to look over earth, Dean was the most intriguing soul Castiel had ever come across. He was broken, shattered, and yet still kept going, learning and fixing, and somehow even through its tears and scratches, Castiel could see a steady light, something that shined no matter what state the rest of Dean's soul was in. It was fascinating, that light, which draws Castiel in like a moth to flame, and is just as deadly.
It was the main argument he had presented to his superiors to convince them that Dean was the one they needed. When they had witnessed Dean's soul, they too had agreed, but Castiel had thought that they did not feel the same pull that he did, the urge to return to the human time after time.
It had started out as purely business, but over an alarmingly short period of time Castiel found himself studying Dean's soul simply because he wished to, simply because he found it beautiful to look at.
He made sure that his Grace was shielded from the Host when he spent time in Dean's apartment so that no angel could find him without asking for his location. He made sure that none of his thoughts on Dean made it out to his siblings, except for the ones he wished to share.
Castiel had never tried to hide things from his family before, and he was realising why those that tried could never keep it up for long. The constant strain of having to control what you are thinking about is very draining, especially when he is prone to think of Dean anytime during the day, when something reminded him of the human.
More and more things are beginning to remind Castiel of Dean.
The human is slowly but surely worming his way into Castiel's thoughts, suddenly there when he should not be. It is beginning to make Castiel rather annoyed, both at his thoughts and the subject of them. He is not used to not having control over his own mind.
Maybe that is why he waits until Dean is in Arkansas to appear to him. Most of the time he spends invisibly watching Dean, as he either sleeps or drives. Sometimes Anael would tell him that Zachariah wished to see him, and he would cast one last look at Dean before flying to Heaven to answer whatever questions Zachariah had for him. He tries to keep it as short as possible, each time wanting to return to Dean so he could watch over the human.
"Cas," Dean said. Since Castiel had been sitting on the couch in Dean's motel room and had not appeared next to him, Dean had not jumped and swore or blasphemed when he had become aware of Castiel's presence.
Castiel tries to frown at the nickname, but it is becoming more and more natural to respond to the shortened version of his name. Especially when it comes out of Dean's mouth.
Dean doesn't look entirely pleased to see him, but he also doesn't appear unhappy to see Castiel either, so he supposes he can stay.
"Hello Dean," Castiel responds. The green eyed man pulls on a shirt, having just got out of the shower.
"You weren't perving on me in the shower were you?" The hunter asks, a thread of humour running over the concern in his voice.
Castiel blinks, and tilts his head slightly. "I see no reason why I would 'perve' on you while you were cleaning yourself. Especially since I could know and see your physical form anytime I wished."
Dean's mouth fell open slightly, and he splutters out a "What?"
"Your clothing is simply layers of fabric. They are no barrier to an angel's eye, if we wish to see what is underneath."
Dean has his mouth parted slightly and his soul is letting off low levels of distress. It is hard to see past the tattering, but Castiel can divine that much.
"You haven't ever looked at me, have you?" The human's voice was several notes higher than usual, and Castiel was once more confused by humans. Why would Dean's voice rise?
"Why would the pitch of your voice rise Dean?" Castiel asks him. Dean's eyes widen slightly and Castiel watches in fascination as blood diverts to his cheeks, staining them red.
"No reason. No reason at all," Dean says. Castiel feels his mouth purse slightly, and he's momentarily distracted by the way that he's picking up human habits against his will.
He's confused, since Dean's voice has risen another note, but since Dean looks uncomfortable, Castiel decides to go back to the original topic.
"No, I have no reason to look at you. Why would I want to?" It would not be something that Castiel would avoid, but that is simply because he sees Dean for his soul. It is harder to see the cotton overlaying him than it is to simply watch the ebb and flow of his soul, and listen to the rhythmic tone of his voice. Castiel is not sure why the humans place so much value on what they put over their bodies. It is one of the things that make them so very strange, he decides. Maybe it is because they cannot see each other's souls.
"Oh, um, cool, I guess." The blood that had run to Dean's face was now staining his neck as well.
Castile decides that yes, humans are very strange creatures.
"Have you contacted Annie or Ash yet?" Castiel asks, sure that Dean would appreciate talking about his work rather than whatever they were talking about classified as.
He sees that his right when Dean takes a deep breath to calm himself, and Castiel watches in interest as he sees Dean's soul shifting, becoming more focused and formal. More businesslike, Castiel presumes.
"Yeah, I've tried to find them and I've come up with nothing so far. I found the hotel that they were staying in, but the manager told me that they had not been through in four days, and that he did not know where they had gone on the last day that they had disappeared. He gave me the key to the apartment after I showed him my badge and he called Rufus to confirm that I was serious, and I found no clues there as to what they were doing that day, and no leads in the hunt. Annie keeps it all in a notebook that she keeps on her at all times, and that's not there, so I don't know where they were up to, or what they suspected. All I know is what they told Charlie, and all that that is that they suspect that it's a shape shifter, and that it's nesting in the hills and caves just past town, and coming in for a snack and a bite to eat whenever it gets the nibbles."
"If you wish, I can search the town for traces of them," Castiel offers. He's not sure why until he sees Dean smile tiredly at him. It wakes something inside Castiel, and he takes a moment to check that he is not connected to the Host, to make sure that no one else is listening to his thoughts and feelings. There isn't, and he stretches his wings for a second in relief before turning his attention back to Dean.
"That'd be great, thanks Cas."
Castiel nods slightly and opens his wings, carefully going through the town, checking every room and building for traces of two souls that are more familiar than the rest. He finds traces of them in the very small sewer system and at some houses where grief and despair hang and Castiel has to duck and weave around the dark shadows of its presence.
He does not find Annie or Ash, but he tells Dean of the traces that he felt while investigating the town. Only five minutes have passed, and Castiel can tell that Dean is trying not to be impressed with what the angel accomplished.
"Yeah, they would've gone down to the sewers to make sure that the shape shifter couldn't live down there, and the sad houses would be the family of the victims. I'd say that they're in the caves." Dean starts to gather equipment, torches and ropes for climbing, silver bullets and guns for defence against the shape shifter.
"Are you planning to leave now?" Castiel asks. He can see weariness blooming from Dean's soul and could hear the creak and groan of his muscles and bones as he stands.
"Yeah. If I wait until morning then who knows what could happen to them during the night."
Castiel thinks that it would be better if Dean slept and rested before going up against the shape shifter, but Dean would know what was best for his body.
"Very well," Castiel says. He would fly Dean to the cave system, but that would mean doing what he is not yet prepared to do simply for the convenience of travelling quickly.
He walks next to Dean and opens the door to the car. He spends the entire drive watching Dean seeing the unease that was gradually edging its way through Dean's soul, but he keeps watching, content to look until Dean asks him otherwise.
"Can you stop doing that?" Dean finally asks, and Cas can hear the discomfort running through his tone.
"Of course," he replies, turning to look straight out the window for a few minutes, before he unwillingly begins to watch Dean in the rear view mirror instead. Dean seems oblivious until he looks upwards to check the cars behind them and swerves as his eyes meet Castiel's, swearing under his breath.
"Really Cas?"
"My apologies." Castiel lowers his brows for a second, taking his eyes off Dean and once more looking forwards. He is an angel. He should be able to control himself.
When he feels his eyes once more slowly moving towards Dean again, he yanks his gaze forward. Why did the human have this effect on him?
"I need to speak with Anael," Castiel tells Dean. He barely gives the human a second to look over to him before he spreads his wings and soars upwards, searching for his sister's Grace. When he cannot find it, he sends a message to her.
Anael where are you?
Castiel? Is anything wrong?
Nothing urgent. I wish to speak with you.
Anael reveals her location, standing in the currently empty viewing platform in a large building. Castiel flies towards it, and Anael looks as composed as usual when he appears in front of her.
"Yes Castiel? What is bothering you?"
Now that he is standing in front of his sister, Castiel shifts his weight from foot to foot, stopping himself when he realises what he is doing. Anael looks at him knowingly, and Castiel knows that she can make time for him, that she will listen to him if he asks her to stay. Anael is the leader of their garrison, and Castiel is second in command. However, even if this were not true, Castiel believes that Anael would still make the time for him.
"Castiel?" Anael is starting to look concerned.
"I believe I may be… malfunctioning."
Anael frowns and he feels it when she hides their presence and their thoughts from Heaven. He shakes off the exhaustion that suddenly weighs on his wings. More lies, more things to hide from Heaven, from his family.
"What do you mean Castiel?" Anael takes a step closer. Castiel knows that of all his siblings Anael would be the one to understand the most. No angel can truly understand emotions, and that is what Castiel fears the most out of his current situation. Emotion. Even the fact that he fears it is a sign of it. Castiel knows that Anael considered falling several decades ago, and even though he talked her out of it, she kept the edge of humanity she gained just by considering it.
Castiel is mostly afraid because only fallen angels feel.
He opens his Grace and presses it against Anael's, this way of communicating far more efficient than talking. His sister receives what he sends her, and he gives her a minute to sort through everything.
When she finishes, Anael smiles sadly at Castiel. "I cannot help you with this Castiel. You must find your way through this yourself. However, I feel it would be prudent not to speak of this to anyone else."
"Yes, I knew that if I spoke to anyone about it, it would be you," Castiel confides lowly.
Anael sighs. "I truly cannot help you with this Castiel. You must decide what you want to do yourself. I will support you in whatever you choose, but do not let our superiors see anything, and do not let it interfere with our work here on earth. You know what happens to angels that are caught acting out."
Castiel shivers. Termination or re-education. He isn't sure which is worse.
"Thank you Anael," he murmurs, looking out the window to where he knows Dean is travelling alone up to where his colleagues are held.
"Just trust yourself Castiel. You know what is best for you." With this, Anael flies away, and he loses track of her as soon as she is out of his sight. She keeps the shielding up, and Castiel takes the time to wonder briefly where she is going and what she is doing. Castiel lets out a breath, and opens his wings, letting the wind take him back to where he wishes to be.
Dean is getting out of his car when Castiel appears behind him. The hunter tries to hide how he startles at Castiel's appearance, but Castiel can sense the tension in his muscles and he knows that Dean should have rested before coming out here. Castiel is only just beginning to sense that Dean was inclined to sacrifice his time, energy, sleep and apparently life for his friends and family. Castiel would not let that happen, but he thought that Dean could perhaps take better care of himself.
"Hey Cas. You sorted out all your angel stuff?"
Castiel nods, and follows Dean as he winds his way towards the start of the cave system where Annie and Ash had gone to find the shape shifter. Castiel can smell its stink everywhere, and he can also sense the two vaguely familiar souls somewhere in the cave system.
"I can sense Annie and Ash's souls. They are still alive."
Dean looks at him, face hopeful. "Can you locate them?"
Castiel shakes his head. "I am not that familiar with their souls, so I cannot pinpoint their location. They're below us though. Under the hill, in the bottom caves."
"Of course," Dean mutters. "Anyway, it was more than we had. Come on."
Castiel follows Dean into the dark hollow where the cave starts, watching the brighter area where Dean flicks his torch on. Castiel doesn't need the light, and if he is being honest with himself he prefers the darkness, but he understands that the human cannot see without it. Dean chooses paths that look well used, and since those are the ones which are more used by the shape shifter Castiel is content to let Dean lead the way. Castiel senses that these caverns wind their way down to nearly the bedrock. He extends his senses out through the caverns, but the stench of the creature makes him gag slightly and he pulls the senses back, only keeping enough to see without the light that Dean is holding and to sense if the creature is within fifty metres of them. He could easily fly through the caves to search, but he would rather not, as the residue the creature has left is thick, sticky and disgusting, and he would rather keep his wings out of it. This shape shifter is old, and powerful. Castiel is not surprised that even such accomplished hunters like Annie and Ash could not dispatch it.
When Dean tries to go down a lesser used path Castiel places his hand on the hunters shoulder. Dean tenses suddenly and Castiel wonders if he had forgotten that he isn't alone down here.
"Not that way Dean."
Dean looks back at him with his eyebrows raised and makes a gesture with his hands that Castiel takes to mean 'then which way?'
Castiel points to the smaller passage, and Dean winces as he turns towards it. The smaller path steeply descends into the earth, with numerous holes and unstable rock which could easily fall apart. Castiel grabs Dean's elbow in order to keep the human from falling down a hole that turns into a chute that turned into a three hundred metre fall.
Dean stumbles and Castiel pulls him back from the hole and turns him onto a safer path. Dean shakes off his hand as he continues down the path. Castiel shakes his head at the emotion that wells up inside him, shedding it like water off a ducks back.
The minutes turn to hours and Castiel can nearly see the weariness that plagues Dean now, the aching of his muscles that he really should have rested before coming here.
The fact that the shape shifter had not yet made an appearance is beginning to make Castiel nervous.
"Dean?"
Dean turns, and suppresses a wince when his body protests.
Castiel thinks that if he claims that he wants to rest because of Dean then Dean would refuse to stop, so he takes the other cause of action.
"What is it Cas?"
"I am… tired?" The angel attempts to mimic what he had heard humans say when they are weary. Dean looks ready to call him out on his lie, but then seems to reconsider.
"Wow, thought that angels didn't need rest Cas," Dean says as he settles into the curve of a rock. He lets out a sigh as he lets himself relax.
"We are creatures as well Dean. We are not indestructible."
"Really? What harms an angel?"
"There are a number of things that can."
Dean waits for a few seconds before responding. "Wow, that's astonishingly vague."
Castiel turns his head to stare at Dean. "If I did not know your weaknesses then would you tell me yours?"
Dean huffs out a breath. "Yeah that makes sense I guess. No tips whatsoever?"
Castiel frowns, not wanting Dean to be harmed if it could be helped. "Very few people can hear the true voice of an angel without being inflicted with permanent hearing damage or extreme injury to their eardrums. The same thing applies for seeing an angel's true form. If one of us tells you to close your eyes, or we start glowing, you do that, and it would probably be helpful to cover your ears as well."
"And if you don't?"
"Your eyes get burnt from your skull."
Dean leans back. "Okay then, angel 101. Anything else you can share with me?"
"You make it sound like I should not be telling you this," Castiel looks down at Dean while he says it, and watches as Dean looks away uncomfortably.
"Well why are you telling me this? I thought you were meant to be all high and mighty and inconceivable and above us all."
"'All' being humans?"
"Well, yeah obviously."
Castiel hasn't taken his eyes off Dean the entire conversation, and neither has he sat down. "Maybe some humans are better than others."
"Dude, that sounds like a bad pick up line."
Castiel frowns. "What is a 'pick up line'?"
Dean closes his eyes briefly and Castiel wonders what he is thinking about. Most likely the best way to define his phrase.
"It's when you pick someone up." Castiel shakes his head, signalling that he still doesn't understand. "With a line. Usually cheesy." Castiel shakes his head again. Dean sighs like he's giving up. "For sex. A pick up line is where you try to convince someone to have sex with you."
"That seems complicated."
"Some people find it hard, while it's easier for others." Dean laughs at something, and Castiel looks around trying to find something funny. He decides that Dean is simply strange and human when he finds nothing.
"And you would classify what I just said as a 'pick up line'?"
Dean shifts and Castiel can sense discomfort coming off the human. "I said like a pick up line, not one."
"Very well," Castiel says, extending his reach to search for the shape shifter. He turns his head in alarm when he senses it moving quickly toward them, from not very far away.
"Cas? What is it?"
"The shape shifter. It is coming here."
Dean immediately stands, grabbing his gun and checking to make sure that everything in it is working. "How far away?"
Castiel doesn't have to answer when they both hear the rumble growl echo through the cave. "Very close."
"No shit Sherlock," Dean mumbles.
Castiel frowns at Dean. "My name is not Sherlock."
Dean takes a second to look like he's regretting his life choices.
Castiel turns and slips his blade into his hand. He doubts Dean can see it, what with how the hunter is waving the torch light everywhere, trying to see where the threat is coming from.
Leaping towards Dean, Castiel throws his blade and hisses when it misses, flying through the air with a twisting spin. Castiel flies and catches it before it can hit the cave wall, but now that it knows that he is not human, it is far more interested in him than Dean.
"I aven't com ecros ona yu in a long tim'," the shape shifter growls, and Castiel is suddenly overwhelmed by how old this creature is. It's as rare as coming across a three hundred year old human, and just as valuable.
Castiel sees Dean scrunch up his face in disgust before aiming his gun, thinking that the shape shifter had forgotten about him. Castiel knew he was wrong; no creature would have lived for this long by forgetting there was a hunter at its back.
Sure enough when Dean fires, it had already leaped out of the way, and Castiel frowns as he spends half a second plucking the round from his chest. Dean looks on unbelievingly.
"I believe it is your time to walk the forests of Purgatory old one. Let me guide you there."
The shape shifter growls and launches itself as Castiel, and the angel meets it half way.
He holds the creature at arm's length, his palm on its forehead, and releases the power that he holds inside him. He can only imagine how he looks to Dean – the flashlight is facing away from the angel and the shape shifter, so the only light would be coming from Castiel's palm. Surrounded by darkness, it would be very likely that only their faces and parts of their bodies could be seen by the white light. The energy is ruffling its fur violently, and Castiel can feel where his own hair, along with his jacket and tie are flapping around wildly.
When he is finished, and the creature is a pile of smouldering ash at his feet, he looks over at Dean calmly, who is staring with his mouth slightly open. "Whoa," the hunter stutters out, retrieving the flashlight.
"You ignored me," Castiel tells him, walking to where the two souls of the hunters were, still deeper underground.
"What?" Dean asks confusedly.
"I said to look away if we start glowing, or you could lose your eyes. You ignored me Dean."
Dean is silent for the rest of the way down to the main cavern.
"I can't believe we're still alive!" Ash triumphantly declares, taking a swig from his flask. "Beastie's dead, and we're not, I'm saying a good day for everyone."
Dean clinks his glass against Annie's. Cas is the only one without a drink, declining one on the grounds that he 'did not need sustenance.' Dean wants to tell Cas that alcohol isn't exactly essential, but decides not to. The angel had done some good work today, and he isn't going to press the issue if Cas doesn't want anything.
"I'm going to detour to Bobby's on the way back , and then the Roadhouse, okay? It's a bit out of the way, but I've got part of my library to give him and I need to talk to him about getting new books, as well as make sure that Jo's alright. She's probably up there, so I'll go detour through Nebraska, check in on her. You guys fine to make your way back to HQ?"
"Yeah, we'll be fine Dean." Annie says. "Go and bribe the old man with new books. Sometimes I think it's the only reason he keeps up his relationship with you."
Dean smiles and makes sure that they both are okay to head back before getting in the Impala and closing the door. They had been tied up in the basement of the cave along with two corpses. Neither of them had been hurt and Dean counted his lucky stars for that. One or both of them could have easily been dinner.
Cas appears beside him with a rustle. "Are we headed to South Dakota or Nebraska first?"
Dean hadn't counted on taking the angel with him, but he figures that Cas would have to run off on some angel business before he gets anywhere, so Dean would welcome the company, as angelic and slightly creepy as it was.
"Up to Bobby's. He said he'd be there for the next few days but after that he's leaving. So we only have until then."
Cas nods and settles back into the front seat, his spine still too straight, his gaze still too direct, but Dean's learning that the angel doesn't mean to do these things. It's unconscious, and Cas probably doesn't even know that what he does marks him out as different from the rest of the population. Only some things stand out about him anymore, like how when Dean touches him, he feels cold and hard, like he had been hollowed out and re-filled with concrete.
"I thought you said that staring at people was not something that you did in your culture?" Cas asks curiously. He is looking back at Dean, and Dean's not sure how long they've been looking at each other.
Dean wrenches his gaze away from the angel, starting the Impala's engine and resolutely looking at the road. "Yeah, we don't."
When Dean let himself look at the angel twenty miles later, Cas is still looking confused.
Cas is still there when Dean is pulling into Bobby's caryard, two days later. The days of driving hadn't been as weird as he would have expected, Cas silent most of the time, content to either stare at Dean when he thinks Dean isn't looking, or watching the countryside pass out the window. The few times he speaks, he asks about Dean's favourite books, music, food, colour. Dean tells him – Slaughter House Five, Led Zeppelin, pie, blue – and then asks the questions at Cas. Cas deliberates over each of them, and sometimes it's hours later that Cas will suddenly say 'I've never had the chance to listen to music so I do not have an opinion' or 'the colour green has a nice wavelength.' Dean stores these little nuggets of knowledge, somewhere where he keeps every thought about the angel. They might not particularly like each other by the time the drive is over, but Dean feels like they've reached some sort of peace, and the idea is only strengthened in his mind when his dreams taper off slightly.
Maybe he could get over his fear, and work with Cas like he was any other person.
He hadn't expected Cas to still be here at the end of the drive, but he would take the opportunity to introduce the older hunter and the angel while he had it.
Dean knocks on the front door. Bobby's truck is still here so the older hunter had not left early for whatever he had to do later in the week. When Dean hears a gruff 'come in', from inside, he smiles slightly and opens the door.
The angel follows him silently inside, and Dean places his first armful of books down on Bobby's counter with a slight thump.
"That had better be books and not your boots boy!" Bobby yells from the basement.
"I wouldn't sit down so soon old man!" Dean shouts back. He heads back outside and gives an armful of books to Cas, who looks at them bemusedly. "Make yourself useful, carry some books inside."
Cas blinks and all the books disappear, from the Impala's trunk and from the angel's hands.
Dean looks in, and they're all piled next to where he had just put down the original lot. "Oh come on, that's just showing off," he complains. "You'll make someone jealous if you keep flaunting those powers of yours. Honestly," Dean huffs.
Bobby comes into the dining room, wiping grime of his hands with a towel that looks like it is only adding grease, not removing it. "Dean? Who's your friend?" Bobby asks, looking suspiciously at Cas.
"Oh yeah. Bobby, this is Castiel. Cas, this is Bobby. He basically raised me, so you're obliged to be nice to him."
Cas walks forward, offering a hand. "Dean has informed me that humans shake hands upon meeting one another."
Bobby shakes Cas's hand, and only then does his words seem to register. "Humans?"
Dean rubs his chin, deciding just to hit the older man over the head with the information. "Umm, Bobby, Cas is also an angel."
Bobby turns wary eyes on Cas, looking him up and down. "Angel eh?"
"That is correct Robert Singer."
Bobby looks uneasy at the use of his full name, and half turns like he's ready to leave the room to get his shotgun. "It's okay Bobby. The Bureau is participating in a program with them… Cas is one of the angels assigned to work with us on earth."
"What have I told you about supernatural creatures Dean?"
Dean sighs. "I know, I know. But work, what can you do?"
Bobby grunts out an assent to that. "Where are my books?"
"You're leaning on them."
Bobby stands up straight. "You didn't get time to bring those in."
"Cas was showing off."
"I was not showing off."
"You were too showing off."
"Shut up the both of ya. Dean, you can browse through, take whatever you need. Just don't touch the ones in my study. I haven't catalogued them yet."
Dean nods and starts to walk around the room. Bobby goes back into the basement after casting one last look at Cas, like he can't quite believe what Dean was bringing home, before going back to whatever he had been doing before.
"What are you looking for?" Cas asks quietly.
"Anything I haven't read that looks like it might have information that also looks interesting. And are in English. I have Sam to do all the translating work, I don't need to put up with that as well."
Cas cocks his head, and in a second there are a pile of books beside him. "There is no true information inside these."
"And how do you know that?" Dean asks, looking at the pile of books.
"I have read them all, and these ones have no truth inside them."
"Right," Dean drawls. He picks up the pile and puts them in a corner, scribbling a note on top that tells Bobby that these books are all fictional, and to say thanks to Cas for letting them know.
Picking up books at random, Dean flicks through them to make sure they're in English, and then checks the title and the subject so he can see if it's on anything interesting. Anything on demons is immediately put back where Dean had picked it up from.
Cas is wondering around as well, trailing his hands over book spines and looking at the numerous books attentively. Dean plunks the books he had down on the table in the middle of the room which is relatively free of clutter, and goes into the hallway to search for anything else that catches his eye.
The phones ring a few times every hour for the four hours that Dean browses through Bobby's books. He eventually finds himself rummaging through Bobby's freezer, trying to see what he can find for dinner. He comes up with some mince, and humming happily, finds Bobby's pan and starts making burgers. He finds some sad looking tomato in Bobby's fridge and cuts that up, before setting some frozen bread out for it to thaw.
Half an hour later he's hollering for Bobby, who comes up into the kitchen. "I've never got used to you commandeering my kitchen boy. The last time I had a meal that wasn't out of a box…" Bobby pauses, thinking it over. "I'm not even sure." He takes the plate, and Dean picks up his. Cas had been standing behind the bench after Dean had shooed him out of the kitchen for getting in the way.
"Here you go Cas." Dean puts a plate in front of Cas, and the angel frowns at it.
"I do not eat Dean."
Dean sighs. "Yeah, but I made it for you, so it'd be rude if you didn't eat it. You don't want to be rude do you?"
Cas looks conflicted. "I've never eaten anything before," he confesses.
"There's a first time for everything."
Cas still looks confused, so Dean pulls up two seats. "Sit down." The angel does. "Now pick up the burger. And take a bite."
Cas purses his lips before doing as Dean suggests. He sits there for a minute before Dean tells him to chew. The angel swallows and looks down at his plate.
"I think… I like it?"
"Good. Now eat the rest."
Dean watches as Cas meticulously consumes the burger, not leaving a crumb on the plate. He takes longer than Dean, and he sits watching the angel for another five minutes before Cas finishes.
"Thank you Dean. I enjoyed that."
"Cool. I'll cook for you some other time then."
Dean cleans up and does the washing up after everyone is done. Cas picks each dish up and puts it down, except it's dry when it touches the counter. Dean takes the time to clean up all the other dishes he finds around the house, a silent thank you to Bobby for letting him take some of his books and letting him crash here.
It's past one by the time Dean finishes cleaning up all the dishes he can find around the house and has put them all away. He doesn't touch the books, since Bobby has his own sorting method that appears to be random if anyone else looks at it, but if you put one book back in the wrong place, he'd know about it.
"You got anywhere to be?" Dean asks Cas. The angel shakes his head. "We can stay up, talk about stuff?"
Cas frowns slightly. "I would prefer it if you slept," the angel says.
Dean rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah, well, so would I," he mutters.
Cas is looking at him again, head tilted to the side slightly. "Sleep, Dean. We can talk more in the morning."
"Are you even still going to be here in the morning?" Cas hasn't left his side in days, and he thinks he's beginning to like the angel, against all odds.
"If I have to leave I will wake you," Cas promises.
Dean nods. He's not sure if he can do anything else.
Taking his pack, he walks down to the spare room, noting how Cas settles down on the couch, and how a book filled with strange looking scribbles appears in his hands. Swallowing some of Pamela's medicine with water, Dean pulls the covers up over him and sends out his now daily wish for no dreams.
Cas is sitting on the hood of the Impala when Dean wakes in a cold sweat. Dean can see him out the window, staring up at the sky with his eyes closed, coat haphazardly rumbled up around him with his hands folded together on his stomach.
He showers, trying to wash off the memory of the dream. Wondering if it would be impolite to start drinking at such an early hour, Dean reasons that it is Bobby's house that he's at right now.
The angel is leaning against the windscreen, and Dean watches as he silently raises a hand to acknowledge him. Cas is still staring up at the sky, watching as it turns from black to a dark blue, the first rays of the rising sun peeking up over the horizon.
Dean finds bacon, but no eggs in the fridge, so he fries enough for Cas and himself, taking a plate with some bread out to the angel an placing it on the Impala's hood before leaving silently. When he comes out an hour later, Cas is gone but the plate is empty, so Dean assumes that he's coming back.
"Your angel friend leave?" Bobby asks.
"For now. He'll be back."
"What are you messing around with Dean? What are you playing with? I remember the summer of 06. That was not a pretty year, and it had angels all through it." Bobby looks at Dean, trying to figure out what could have prompted the younger man to participate in such a scheme. "What about your dreams? Sam's told me they're getting worse."
Not for the first time, Dean regrets telling anyone that he can't sleep at night.
"I don't know Bobby. Rufus says that we're 'fostering relationships' with them, making sure that they won't all sweep down on us one day and randomly decide that they should kill us all. I wasn't sure at first, but I think that it's a way to get knowledge out of them, to see what their weaknesses are in order to give us an advantage if they ever do decide to fight against us. Some of me just thinks the Bureau wants them for firepower, wants us to convince them that they should side with America if a war between humans started. And my dreams have nothing to do with this, and they are not getting worse. I'm fine."
Bobby looks at him disbelievingly. "Oh sure, you're fine." Dean half flinches at the sarcasm in the older man's voice. Bobby could still bring it. "I don't believe it."
Dean knew that Bobby wouldn't press the issue, since he isn't that type of person. Bobby's only letting Dean know he can talk if he wants to. Dean doesn't intend to take him up on his offer, but it's a slight relief to know that he can go somewhere if he had to.
"So tell me about your angel friends."
Dean had never kept anything from Bobby if the old man asked, and this is no exception. He tells Bobby about how the angels had come and had chosen partners out of the SPN team and the normal units as well. How they just seemed to hover, occasionally helping with hunts or information gathering, but otherwise not doing much of anything.
"So what are they here for? Do you know?" Dean shakes his head.
"I don't know. I think it has something to do with what Meg was saying, and the questions that Cas was asking. They're looking for something, I know that much. I asked Charlie to dig into it, but she said that she'll have to go about it really carefully to make sure that no one finds out that she's looking for why the angels are actually here. I think that I'll just have to wait and see what's going to happen with them."
Bobby grunts, taking a sip of his beer. Dean had taken a beer as well, since Bobby had offered. "I don't think there's anything else you can do Dean, not unless you want to get fired and then have the FBI on your tail, looking for you to make sure that you don't spill any state secrets. You're pretty high up on the food chain, aren't you?"
"Yeah, just by knowing about the supernatural we're above a lot of other units. But we also don't know stuff that some of the others do. We keep to our job, and make sure that they don't interfere with it, and we keep out of their way. We're known as the silent team, since no one knows anything about us, and we don't talk about what we work about, but they have orders to do what we say if we ask them to do something. They don't know why, but those are their orders. Nobody asks though. They know that there's stuff they don't know about that we do, and we like to keep it that way."
Bobby nods. "And yet you tell me anything I ask."
"But not all that you ask is all that I know old man," Dean tells the hunter. Bobby nods slowly at this, looking at Dean considerately.
"You probably want to talk to Ellen."
"Yeah, I was going to go down there on the way back to Phoenix."
"That's one hell of a detour."
Dean shrugs. "Eh. It's worth it. If Ellen found out that I had been up here but not to see her, she'd have my head, and Bill wouldn't talk to me for a few months, just for making her upset."
Bobby nods. "True. I've got to go tomorrow, but you can stick around until then. Do you know if the angel's gonna show back up?"
"You never know with Cas," Dean confesses. "Sometimes he'll stay for days on end. Other times, you won't see him for a week. He'll be around though."
Bobby casts a sceptical look at him. "If you say so. You need to fix anything on your car, the garage is open."
Dean smiles. "Thanks Bobby. Yeah, I was hearing a rattle up on the way here. I want to have a look at her."
"Then don't let me stop you. I have things to do, phones to answer, cases to research. You go and do your thing, have your break from work."
Bobby leaves and Dean drives the Impala into the garage. He pulls out the tools he keeps here, ones that Bobby doesn't use that he has especially for the Impala. Opening the hood, Dean bends over the engine, trying to see if he can find the cause of the rattle.
Dean looks after the Impala for a few hours, changing her oil, checking tire pressure and giving the car a once over.
"Do you enjoy this?"
Dean swears as his head catches on the hood of the Impala's engine. "Jesus Cas!"
The angel is looking at him calmly, wide blue eyes studying Dean. Dean had just been in the engine for the last fifteen minutes, so the angel could have been sitting there for a while.
Cas cocks his head, looking at Dean, who was rubbing his head angrily. "Give a guy some warning, yeah?"
"Very well," Cas says.
Dean sighs, closing the hood. "Yeah, of course I enjoy it."
"You've been doing it for the last few hours, so I would assume that you enjoy it."
Dean walks over to where he kept his rags, wiping his hands of most of the grease. "Did you get your angel business finished?"
"Yes."
"Good, good."
Dean walks into the house, with Castiel following him. "So you just winged your way back here?"
"Yes. It is our current mission to be with you when we are not needed by our superiors."
"I don't see Anna or Uriel hanging around all that often," Dean retorts.
"They are there, just unseen by your human eyes. We are angels Dean. It is more in our nature to watch and guard rather than interact."
Dean shrugs slightly, reasoning that this does sound like what angels do.
Bobby is in his office, walking around, and Dean can hear the footsteps from the living room. The older man is probably researching something, so Dean sticks his head inside.
"Do you need help with anything?" He asks.
Bobby looks up with a scowl. "Why? Do you think my eye sight's going boy?" He growls.
Dean hastily backtracks. "No, no, just if you need me to look through something, then we can get twice the work done if I help."
Bobby regards him suspiciously for another second before picking up a large tome and holding it out for Dean to pick up. "See if you can find anything in there about ancient Rome and fauns."
"As in the half goat half human people?" Bobby nods and Dean looks at the book. It's covered in dust, and the writing inside is hand written in a scrawling script. Sighing, Dean wonders when he had thought it was a good idea to volunteer to help with information.
Three hours later Bobby calls him into the office, saying that he found the relevant info. Dean dumps the half read tome onto the older hunters desk and swallows Pamela's leaves, watching Cas as he squints in confusion at the TV, which is on mute.
Crawling underneath the covers, Dean closes his eyes and asks for a dreamless sleep.
The drive to the Roadhouse takes just over five hours.
It definitely isn't one of Dean's worst drives, since he can go flat out along the highway, avoiding cops and Cas's reproaching glances.
As they're pulling up into the parking lot, Dean looks over the rusty and worn down trucks, utes and cars that occupy the majority of the parking lot. After seven Ellen ushers any civilians out of the bar, and the hunters are free to talk about whatever they wish, however loudly they wish, and not have to worry that some well-meaning stranger calling the police on the crazy guy talking about monsters at the bar.
It's only three when they get there though, so that leaves four hours until the bar becomes hunter friendly.
"So you can't tell anyone that you're not human okay? I don't need someone deciding to try and kill you, and I don't need my cover blown. There aren't that many people who know that I work for the state now, and those that do aren't gonna give me any crap about it, but someone in there might. And it helps to have a person who everyone thinks is just a normal hunter like them. Nobody speaks to the feds, even if the feds know about the supernatural. It's ingrained into us. So behave like a normal human, okay?"
Cas looks vaguely puzzled, like he can't imagine how a normal human looks or moves. Dean suppresses the frustration he's feeling and gets out of the Impala. He digs around in one of his duffels for one of his most hunter looking shirts, as he is already wearing threadbare jeans. Pulling two layers of plaid out, Dean yanks his shirt off and puts another on, having the plaid go over the top. Lastly he tugs on his leather jacket, and turns to see Cas watching him.
"You need to lose the suit Cas," Dean tells the angel. "No one's going to take you seriously looking like that."
Cas frowns down at what he's wearing, and then before Dean can blink, Cas is wearing an exact replica of what Dean is. "No, you can't wear the same stuff as me!" Dean tells the angel in exasperation. "Vary the colours, change the jacket or something."
Cas frowns again, and the jeans darken to an almost black, his shirt turning tight and white, one of the plaid layers disappearing and the other turning the exact colour of Cas's eyes. Not that Dean knows what colour Cas's eyes are. The leather jacket melts down into a tightly fitting black leather jacket, and his shoes turn to sneakers.
"Is this acceptable?" The angel asks.
"Well," Dean chokes out. The angel tilts his head to the side. Dean pretends he's running his eyes over Cas's body just because he wants to make sure the outfit is okay. "That'll be fine," he says, voice slightly raw, ignoring the slight churn of his gut. "Come on." Dean brushes past Cas, arm catching slightly on the shorter man's, and Dean can't even bring himself to think that it's not an accident.
He catches Ellen's eye as soon as he walks in, and he moves towards a booth. She comes over, apparently to give them menus, but immediately narrows her eyes at Cas.
"Is this the angel?" She asks Dean lowly, eyes never leaving Cas.
"Yeah. Ellen, this is Castiel. Cas, this is my foster mother, Ellen."
Cas nods, and offers his hand. Ellen shakes it slowly, still eyeing Cas like he'll bite her. "Bobby called, told me everything you told him 'bout them," Ellen says, pointing at Cas with her thumb. "You got yourself in a spot of trouble there Dean."
Dean nods. "Yeah, well we're just dropping by to say hello. I've gotta leave tomorrow, to get back to Phoenix before Rufus chew me up for taking too long visiting you guys. Is Bill around? Has Jo dropped by yet?"
Ellen nods. "You just missed her. She left this morning, saying the same thing about Rufus that you just did. Bill is out back, just going over our supplies, making the shopping list for the week. You need a place to crash?"
"Yeah, is the guest room empty?"
"Yep, nobody's been in there for a bit, so you got the place to yourself."
"Cool, can we get some lunch?"
"Angel boy eats?"
"I suspect that it would appear peculiar if Dean was the only one eating, and yet I was sitting here with him."
Ellen looks at Cas. "That it might. Just the usual then? For both of you?"
Dean nods and Ellen walks back towards the bar.
Dean takes the time to start talking to Cas, pointing out everything in the bar he could think of that the angel wouldn't know of, including human behaviour. Ellen brings them the burgers, and Dean is still talking to Cas, the angel just sitting there and soaking the information up. In return, Cas told Dean about the time he had witnessed the first few seconds of a supernova of a star, and about some of his friends. He talked about angels that Dean knew, like Uriel and Balthazar, but also of ones that he hadn't, like Rachel and Hestor. Not very angelic sounding names, but Cas assured Dean that he had said the right thing.
Before Dean knew it, it was seven o'clock, and Ellen is announcing that she is closing for everyone but the special customers. A few families and couples walk out, and the hunters wait all of thirty seconds after Ellen had put the closed sign on the door to start talking about the supernatural.
"They seem very enthused," Cas observes, looking around the bar.
"Yeah well most of them work alone, and this is the only time they can relax, put their guard down and talk about whatever they want, with people who know what they do and what they're gone through on the job. Most of them are only here for a night or two, so they want to get out all of the talking that they can before heading off to their next hunt."
Dean watches as Ellen slides away the covering on the noticeboard. "See over there?" He asks Cas, pointing towards the board that several hunters were making their way over to. "Bobby scans for hunts, and gives the info to Ellen, who puts the minimum information on the board. If they see something they want to take on, you take down the paper that is advertising that hunt, and you go and see Bill, who has all the information collated. He then gives you the full packet that they have, and you take it, go and gank the son of a bitch, and you don't have to look for a hunt yourself. It's good, because if you catch wind of another hunt while you're on one, you call up Bill and tell him about it, he looks into it and puts it up on the board, where someone else can take it. You can finish your job knowing that someone else is taking care of the other one. Charlie even calls up sometimes, giving jobs when she has no one left at the office and she's found something."
"It sounds like a convenient system."
"Yeah, it is. It also drums us business here, since hunters know they can come and get another job here, as well as there being free talk and discounted alcohol."
"Is that why you have had so much alcohol?" Cas asks.
"Well I'm sleeping here, so there's no reason not to." Dean can already feel the slight light headedness and lowering of inhibitions that comes with drinking. He lets himself look over Cas more lingeringly. "You can have some if you want to," Dean offers. He tries to imagine the angel drunk, and can't help the muffled snort that he makes.
"I do not wish to consume any liquor Dean," Cas tells him.
"Whatever floats your boat," Dean says. "Look, I'm going to go and socialise a bit. You can mingle as well if you want to, but don't let anyone know that you're not human, okay?"
The angel nods, and Dean thinks it's unlikely that Cas will leave the table. He goes over to watch the pool table, and after watching two games asks to join. There's no stakes, just some fun, and Dean willingly gives himself over to the science of trying to find that exact sweet spot to hit, that place where the ball goes rolling across the green felt and sinks cleanly into the hole.
He wins two games, watches a few more, cheering on whoever's turn it is. He listens to stories, and before he knows it, it's two o'clock and Ellen is threatening, bribing, shoving and taunting everyone out of the bar. Dean's left, with Cas sitting at the bar, where he was talking to Ellen.
Dean grabs a cloth without being asked to and begins to wipe down the tables, put the chairs up so Ellen can mop the floor, wipes glasses before putting them away, organises the bottles and puts the stoppers back in, making sure they were all in their right spots.
He had thrown a cloth to Cas, who had determinedly set to the bar, and was scrubbing at it with a kind of focus that normally isn't put to that task. Ellen cleans all the floors while Dean stacks the very large dishwasher, and he is wiping his hands as he surveys the bar. Cas is putting the pool table to rights, fishing out all the balls and placing them in a triangle formation.
"You right Cas?" Dean asks the angel. Cas nods, and Dean says goodnight to Ellen and Bill when he passes them on the way to the guestroom, which used to be his room.
There were so many memories attached to these walls, and Dean feels safe among his childhood place, where some of his best memories had occurred.
In the morning, he waves goodbye to Ellen and Bill. He tells them to call if they need anything, even if it was just an extra hand on a hunt, and Ellen had ignored it while telling him to come by more often. Cas had stood awkwardly behind him, standing next to the passenger side door of the Impala while Dean said his goodbyes. The angel had changed back to his suit and oversized trench coat, and looks as he had before Dean had insisted he change.
Cas is there the whole way as Dean speeds back to Phoenix.