A/N: To the Guest who was tired of waiting and wanted Maya to tell Lucas already: Be patient, my dear. Good things come to those who wait ;)
The layout of this chapter was a little rough, but bear with me please. Transitions are not my strongest suit.
Thank you for all the reviews and encouraging words! They are the best kind of motivation ever! :D
Disclaimer: I do not own GMW, but Lucaya is bae.
Maya sincerely hoped her mom could not hear her retching from the kitchen. She was collapsed on the bathroom floor, clutching the toilet bowl as if her life depended on it. If her mother were to randomly open the door, she would have no doubts that Maya was pregnant.
"Damn…" she grumbled, throat raw and stinging. "Bean, you're killing me."
The last time she'd gone for another check-up, about a week ago, Dr. Torres had told her that the intensity of morning sickness per pregnancy varied greatly, and that she would most likely be experiencing it for a while since she was early in. It sucked. She was almost ten weeks into her damn pregnancy. Maya just wanted this whole vomit at the slightest disruption thing to stop. She had been eating more, but all this puking couldn't be good for her. Or Jellybean.
But on another note, she had heard Jellybean's heartbeat for the first time, and it had sounded like a pack of galloping horses. She knew Lucas would have loved the comparison… But alas, he still was unaware of her pregnancy. She had tried to let him know several times, but the timing was always off, she would lose her nerve, or she was interrupted before she could find the courage to start speaking. She suspected Lucas was starting to think there was something wrong with her again, but if he did, he hadn't said a word yet and for that she was grateful.
She stayed on the floor for a few more seconds, riding out the wave of another bout of nausea. She practiced those meditation recommendations Candy had given her, thinking about scents and people who calmed her down.
Riley's laugh, Riley's goofy grin, Riley dropping her toothbrush in the toilet, Riley shouting at the toilet, Riley kicking the toilet, Riley holding her foot… Lucas' aftershave...
The nausea hurricane passed.
Sighing and finally feeling better, she flushed down the puke and cleaned herself up in the shower to get ready for another somewhat irritating, but no longer agonizing day of school.
Once showered, she went back to her room and threw on the first clothes she could find on the floor. Her pants were a little loose, and Maya observed herself in her mirror. She had definitely lost weight. And it was probably from all of that puking. She'd probably never fit perfectly in her pants again. After that, it would be weight gain after weight gain after weight gain. By around Christmas time, she'd be in her second trimester, and she would definitely put on a lot more weight.
Guess I'll be putting maternity clothes and leggings on my list to Santa.
Curiously, she snatched a pillow off of her bed and tucked it under the front of her tee. She walked around, bouncing up and down and rubbing her abdomen, testing what it was like to hold a baby. She'd be there in several months. Why not try it out now? She looked like she had a lumpy balloon under her shirt and snorted.
It was odd seeing herself so rotund and bloated like a balloon, but strangely, she kind of liked it. It brought out something very maternal in her.
Maya could just imagine herself as young married woman, expecting the birth of her Jellybean with her husband. And then she cut her train of thought quickly because she realized she had been seconds from imagining Lucas as the husband. It was ridiculous. Her and Lucas? He would never marry her. He was meant for great things, and she was Maya…
Katy rapped twice on her room door with her knuckles, "Maya? You almost ready for school?"
"Uh, yeah. Just a sec!"
She scrambled to pull the pillow out and tossed it in a random corner just as her mother opened the door. Maya pretended to search for something on the ground, tucking some loose hair behind her right ear nervously.
"Can't find my sketchbook." Maya muttered under her breath, pretending to be preoccupied.
"You mean the one on your desk?"
"Right…" Maya licked her lips nervously, before picking it up off of her desk and waving it around with a tight smile, "On my desk…"
"Have you lost weight, Maya?" Katy asked worriedly.
Maya spun around and rummaged in her bag for something long after she put the notebook inside so that her mother couldn't see the flustered expression on her face. Katy could smell lies a mile away, especially when she could see Maya's face.
"Umm no, I don't think so." Maya tugged on her jacket and a scarf. The cold front had officially been forecasted by the weatherman. Soon she'd be able to use the weather as her excuse for bundling up all the time which would definitely come in handy when she started to show. "Probably just a trick of the light."
"Okay." Katy walked in the room, "Well, I was just wondering if you thought about what we talked about."
Maya frowned in confusion.
Katy sighed, a little annoyed, "About college, Maya. Have you thought about where you're going to apply? Now's the time to start thinking. Those applications will be due in January."
"I mean, honestly, I'm not really sure I want to go, Mom." Especially if I have to take care of Jellybean.
Katy frowned, "Absolutely not, Maya. College is important. There is nothing you can't do if you have a degree."
Maya rolled her eyes, knowing exactly the speech her mother was about to give her. If she'd heard it once, she'd heard it a million times.
"I never had the chance to go to college, Maya. And look where I am now. I work unbelievable and countless hours and the payoff is terrible. I barely got the chance to see you grow into the young lady you are today. You wouldn't want the same for your future child, would you?"
Oh if only she knew…
Maya swallowed thickly, and picked up her bag off of the floor, a little uneasy at Katy's mention of a future child.
"Mom. I get it. You want me to have my best shot in life, but college isn't really something that seems realistic to me. I don't even know what I'd want to do after it."
"As long as you have that diploma and your Bachelor's, that's what counts." Katy pressed, "There are some brochures we got in the mail. I'll leave them on your desk, and you can take a look at them after school, okay?"
"Fine Mom. I'll take a look at it." Maya finally relented, only because she wanted to get the hell out of there. She was tired of having this discussion with her mother. Before, she might have contemplated the idea. But now, college really wasn't feasible if she would be raising Jellybean. "I've gotta go. Riley's waiting for me."
Katy smiled serenely, tucking that stray lock of Maya's hair behind her ear. "Oh honey. I'm so proud of you. You've been diligent all these years, despite not having someone to take care of you. You kept persevering in school and now look. You're going to graduate high school."
Maya laughed nervously, a nervous sweat building up.
"I never finished high school, so I'm glad you're taking those steps to do what your mother could not."
"Alright Mom." She said, ducking out from her reach with a lopsided smile that she was positive was more of a grimace, "I've gotta go. By the way, I'm eating at Riley's for dinner, so don't wait up if I'm late."
"Think about what I said about college Maya. We can discuss it when you get home." Katy called out as Maya grabbed a couple slices of toast and hightailed it out of the house. She was a little peeved she didn't have a chance to put ketchup on them. "Remember! I'm proud of you, baby girl!"
Proud of me? Would you still be proud of me if you found out that I'm pregnant?
Maya felt guilty that she hadn't told her mother about the baby, but she was scared of how her mom would react. That particular conversation would have to be thoughtfully planned out and carefully executed if she even considered telling her mother. Maybe Maya could find some way to live at the Matthews during her last trimester and just show up at home one random day after the kid was born. 'Oh hey Mom. Look, I had a kid.' Her mother would definitely have a field day with that one.
Maya snorted and shook her head at the mental image, racing to get to the subway station before she missed her ride. She'd get her ketchup at Riley's.
~.~.~
"Well, well. Look who's Mr. Popular." Maya snickered quietly when one of their classmates turned around in her seat and winked at Lucas. This was the millionth person she had seen do something flirtatious to Lucas that day. It bugged her. Was every girl on the prowl today or something?
Lucas groaned, ducking his head further down, "It's not that. To get Homecoming game attendance up on Saturday, coach told everyone that their ticket would be drawn in a raffle to win a free date with me if they went."
Maya had to bite her lip to keep from bursting out laughing, and Lucas pinched her side in payback. She yelped quietly and scootched her chair over, giggling and putting more space between them.
"You're supposed to be supportive."
"Says who, Ranger Rick?" Maya grinned, "I think this is funny."
"You know what else is funny? Riley entered your name under her ticket."
Maya frowned and shot Riley a warning glare over her shoulder. Riley shrugged sheepishly, batting her eyelashes sweetly at Maya.
"You know I'll run your wallet dry on the date."
"That's assuming you even win in the first place." Lucas replied without missing a beat, his shit eating grin firmly set in place, "Already planning our dates, ma'am?"
"In your wet dreams, Heehaw."
"Could you guys get a room?" Farkle hissed from behind them, "And shush. Some of us are trying to learn."
Riley rolled her eyes, "I agree. You both need to be quiet."
"Is there a problem, Ms. Matthews?" the Biology teacher, Mr. Weatherly, droned, back still facing the students.
"Not at all, sir." she chirped, cheeks blushing red in embarrassment. "Sorry."
He continued his lecture, and Maya turned around and glanced at Riley, "How the hell does he do that?"
"Beats me…"
"Alright class," he continued, opening a new set of PowerPoint slides on the projector. "That ends our chapter on cell signals and transduction. We'll be starting our chapter on reproduction and development now."
Interest peaked, Maya spun around and faced the front, her eyebrows rising. This seemed like a pretty cool chapter. Don't get her wrong. She hated biology with a passion, and she didn't know why she had let Riley talk her into taking the damn class with all of them, but she supposed with her being pregnant and all, it could be good to learn what was happening with her body. And then she wouldn't have to ask so many questions when she visited Dr. Torres.
"Lucas, do you have an extra pen?" she asked, flipping open the notebook she hadn't touched since the first day of classes. "I want to take some notes."
Lucas's brows went up in shock, and he turned over his shoulder, "Guys, I think that's the first time I've ever seen Maya take any notes in this class. Why this chapter?"
"Th-that's because she's serious about college!" Riley panicked and piped up awkwardly.
"You've made up your mind Maya?" Lucas asked in surprise. "You're going to college?"
Maya sighed lowly, giving Riley an annoyed raised brow for the lie. She had warned Riley about freaking out over anything that remotely had to do with babies, pregnancy, or children. She always overreacted and then to compensate, she would say something that made the situation totally worse. Riley mouthed an apology, and Maya knew she couldn't stay mad at her for very long.
"Where are you applying?" Farkle asked, giving up on getting any notes in with his friends talking so much. Besides, the new revelation was way more interesting than the monotonous drawl of their teacher.
"Riley lied. I haven't figured that out yet." Maya corrected, "I'm still iffy about college. I've got too much to worry about right now for that." I'm having a kid. There is no way in hell I'm going to college now.
"That's too bad." Lucas said quietly, unconsciously playing with a lock of her hair, "I thought it could be fun with all of us there, chilling and hanging out."
"Isn't Farkle trying to go Ivy?" Maya said dejectedly, resting her chin in her palm. "Besides, with these grades and my scores, I wouldn't even be able to get in the same school as you all."
"Don't discredit yourself Maya. I think you could."
Maya met his eyes and smiled, a pale blush dotting her cheeks. It meant a lot to her that he believed in her.
"Well thank you, Sundance."
"Get a room…" Farkle said again, making a gagging motion with his finger.
"I agree." Riley added. "You're making us uncomfortable."
"Ms. Matthews! Do you need to leave this classroom?" Mr. Weatherly scolded, turning around and pinning Riley with a glare. Lucas and Maya quickly spun around and faced the front, feigning diligent note taking and stifling their snickers by biting their lips.
"No, sir." Riley squeaked, sliding further down in her chair, "I'm sorry, sir."
"Then you would do well to keep your mouth shut for the remainder of this class."
He went back to his teaching, and Lucas and Maya's shoulders shook from concealed laughter. Riley threw cap erasers at both of their backs, huffing indignantly. Farkle shook his head, clearly exasperated with his friends' inabilities to not talk in class.
"Hey," Lucas nudged Maya after a few moments of silent note taking, "Are you going to Homecoming dance on Friday?"
She eyed him from the side, before looking back towards the front. Honestly, she wasn't in the mood to party it up with a bunch of idiots. Plus every year, some senior would spike the punch towards the middle, and since there wasn't anything else to drink at this event, Maya didn't want to spend her evening thirsty.
"I don't think so."
"Why not? It's senior year. You gotta live it up. This is our last Homecoming." He grinned boyishly, "And I'm in the court."
"Not interested. I'd have to find a dress and buy some shoes, get my hair and makeup done." She groaned under her breath, "Find a damn date."
"Well at least you can check one thing off your list."
"Huh?" she looked at him in confusion. What the hell was he talking about?
He smiled, "I'll be your date."
Her heart skipped a beat, "Of all the willing girls you could ask, you want to go with me?"
"Yeah. Is that so weird?"
Yes. Yes it was.
"Why me?"
A pale blush coloured his cheeks, and he momentarily hesitated, "...Because I like hanging out with you. And we're friends."
She tried not to feel disappointment when his words weren't what she had hoped for.
"And it's convenient. I'm giving Farkle and his date a ride to the dance. And I'm giving Riley a ride back since Mr. Matthews doesn't trust her date to bring her home safely. You might as well be there too."
She nodded, "Alright. I'll go with you. But if you show up wearing a cowboy hat, I'm turning right back around and leaving your ass outside in the cold."
"Sounds about right."
Maya snorted, and they went back to paying attention in class. Her lips curled up happily and she couldn't help the feeling of joy bubbling up in her chest.
~.~.~
"Dinner was great. Thank you." Maya stretched in satisfaction. "I guess I should head home now."
Cory gave her a look that was a mixture between complete awe and extreme disbelief. "You had like ten servings Maya… with ketchup and honey mustard."
"Dad! That's rude." Riley chastised, standing up with Maya.
"She ate all of the macaroni too…" Auggie grumbled under his breath, displeasure evident on his face.
Riley scowled at her younger brother, "If Maya wants to eat, she's allowed to eat. Don't you both have any manners? She's a guest."
"It's okay Riles." Maya said, laughing it off. He hadn't been wrong. She'd been pretty hungry. And dinner definitely had filled her up after the meager lunch she'd eaten. Her stomach had been grumbling all throughout the school day. She was satisfied for now. Though something fried and greasy sounded really good for later if she were to be completely honest…
She picked up the bottle of ketchup from the table, "Mind if I take this to go?"
Cory frowned in confusion, "You ate all the food and now you want the ketchup too?"
"Thank you for joining us for dinner tonight Maya." Topanga replied after giving Cory a disapproving glare. He cowered in apology, "Be careful getting home, okay sweetie?"
I'll walk you downstairs Maya." Riley said, grabbing her shawl off the couch.
Maya slipped on her jacket, grabbed her school bag and followed Riley out the door. They walked down the apartment complex's steps to the first floor.
When they finally got to the lobby, Riley slipped Maya a ten.
"What's this for?" Maya asked suspiciously, though she pocketed the cash. Free money was free money.
"You're probably going to crave something nasty and fried later tonight." Riley smiled, "And I know you don't have any cash on you."
"Riley, have I ever told you how much I love you?"
"Only every day." She grinned widely.
Then she took Maya's hands and contemplated at her seriously.
"Maya, no matter what happens, you know I will always support you, right?"
"Yeah?" Maya nodded slowly, confused as to why she was saying that. That basically went without saying. "What brought this on?"
"I've got your back no matter what happens, you know." Riley continued.
"I know, Riley." Maya rolled her eyes, "Stop beating around the bush."
"I say this with all the love and respect I have for you—which is a lot!" Riley's expression sobered, "But you need to tell Lucas, okay? It's been weeks since you said you would."
Maya sucked in a breath, a little put off by Riley's blunt reminder.
"I'm not ready yet." She said tightly.
"When will you be, Maya? Every time I bring it up, you say you'll talk to him. But then it never happens."
"I will. Eventually. I promise."
"No. Not eventually. As soon as possible. He deserves to know that he's fathering a child." Riley urged, "I'm saying this because I care about you Maya, but you're being stupid about telling him. Do you really think Lucas is the type of guy who would push you away if he found out about Jellybean?"
"I know he's not, it's just–"
"That you're scared. I know." Riley said reassuringly, "But remember this is Lucas we're talking about. Has he ever given you a reason to be scared of him? Maybe he'll be mad that you waited so long to tell him, but he'll understand. You just have to talk to him."
Maya frowned, but couldn't respond. Sometimes it sucked that Riley could read her mind...
"Just tell him. If you need me there too, I'll be there."
"I'll… Just… give me time, okay?" Maya said, squeezing Riley's hand to confirm that she would tell him. "I need to prepare myself."
"Alright Maya." She gave her a warm hug before grabbing her shoulders. "You better not break this promise."
"Go home, Riley." Maya laughed.
Riley smiled and then spun around, climbing back up those steps to get to her apartment.
Maya watched her for a few seconds before turning on her heel and exiting the building. Maya shivered as a burst of cold air suddenly smacked her in the face. It was amazing how quickly the weather had suddenly changed.
Jamming her hands in her pockets to keep them warm, she walked down the sidewalk, heading toward the subway station. Maya knew what was holding her back from telling Lucas. She knew he wouldn't reject her—it wasn't in his nature—but she didn't want to tie him down. Lucas was raised to be a gentleman. She had no doubt he would take responsibility, but that didn't mean he couldn't eventually grow to resent her for taking away his freedom. And that scared her more than anything.
What do you think, Beanie? Is it time I introduced your father to you?
A slight wave of nausea went through her, and Maya chuckled to herself, wondering if that had been her baby's way of letting her know she had the Jellybean Seal of Approval.
But regardless, Riley was right. She had to tell him.
Maya decided she would let Lucas know the truth on Saturday after the game. At least that way, he'd be able to focus on playing.
She rode the subway to her station and got off feeling, for the first time in a while, that things were truly going to be okay. Sure, she was a seventeen year old who had accidentally gotten pregnant and now had to hide the fact that she was baking a baby in her uterus oven from pretty much everyone she knew, but in spite of all that, her life was completely in control. Her relationship with Lucas had survived their little one-night stand, Jellybean was super healthy and growing at a lively rate, and Maya's pieces for the Studio Art art show next semester were coming along very nicely. All she had to do was gain inspiration for one more perfect freestyle piece, and she'd be just about done with her requirement for this semester's pieces.
Yes, indeed.
Life was looking great right now.
Maya got to the front door of their apartment and frowned when she noticed a suitcase with shoes on top resting against the door on their welcome mat.
Her suitcase.
"What the hell…"
With a frown, Maya pushed the door open.
Katy was standing with her arms crossed in the doorway, expression livid and eyes shining in uninhibited fury. Her frigid, disgusted glare pierced Maya to the core, and she felt her mouth go dry.
No…
Dangling from her hand was the ultrasound photograph of a six week old Jellybean.
No!
"You have ten seconds to explain to me why the hell this was in your room."