Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I owned Harry Potter, Comrade Dobby would still be alive. Approximately 7 part-goblin Professors were hurt in the making of this fanfic.

And yeah, I said it was a oneshot. I lied. This is now designated as just a crackfic that gets updated irregularly.

ON WITH THE STORY!

It was a bouncing and cheerful Filius Flitwick that greeted his students on Tuesday. Basically, a normal Charms class.

"Good morning, students! Today, we shall be learning a charm called the 'House Elf Suppression Charm'! It can be used in all sorts of circumstances, such as if all the House Elves in the Wizarding World suddenly rose up in a glorious Communist revolt against their human overlords!"

A miscellaneous student spoke up.

"That seems like a really specific and contrived circumstance, Professor."

Flitwick ignored the student, and proceeded to demonstrate the wand movements for the House Elf Suppression Charm.

As the students filed out of the room at the end of class, Hermione could be heard loudly disapproving of such a cruel charm.

"I suppose that it's because of Umbridge. She gets rid of Dumbledore and suddenly we learn a new curriculum that happens to be about suppressing minorities. I don't believe in the coincidence." With this statement she scowled over at where said professor was speaking to Professor Flitwick.

"I mean honestly, they're perfectly decent and harmless beings! We shouldn't be enslaving them in the first place, much less be learning charms to hurt them further!"

Ron shook his head at his friend's naïveté.

"Didn't you hear the Professor, Hermione? The only reason we'd need the charm is if the House Elves started attacking people. It's not like we're going to be using it on every House Elf we see."

Hermione frowned in thought.

"I suppose you're right," she conceded.

Draco Malfoy smirked nastily and pointed his wand at the unsuspecting House Elf.

"House Elf Empowerifico!"

Instantly the House Elf stopped what it was doing and sat down on the ground, hugging its knees and crying silently. The Slytherin laughed and moved on to the hundreds of other Elves in the kitchens. Soon enough, he had them all sobbing on the floor.

After a few seconds of enjoying his power rush, he walked out of the portrait hole and back down to the Slytherin Common Rooms. The elves, upon his departure, got back up, dusted themselves off, and went back to work.

And if one could scour pans smugly, then they would be doing so in just such a fashion.

The Room of Requirement was once again filled to the brim with House Elves. A large whiteboard displaying complex battle maneuvers and the recipe for Winky's hundred-proof Butterbeer was centered behind the podium. And then, as one, the Elves ceased their talking as Comrade Beardy took the podium.

"Greetings, comrades. Beardy hopes you is all well?" A general affirmative was given.

"Good, then on to business. Comrade Thinky's plan was a complete success, and the reports from the Kitchen Staff have all been positive. Professor Flitwick will resume his duties as soon as our Comrades in re-education can get him to stop sobbing uncontrollably."

There was a cheer, even though many of the Elves had already heard what had occurred from the Kitchen Staff.

"Secondly, our efforts to establish connections with the Elves of other Houses have met success. Comrade Pinky, will you take the floor."

The Elf known as Pinky stood nervously in the gaze of the entire population of Hogwarts' House Elves.

"Pinky be getting messages to the Old Pureblooded houses that still be keeping Elves. Cause Pinky isn't really a Hogwarts Elf, she can be leaving the school. The Malfoy Elves, the Parkinson Elves, the Nott Elves, the Smith Elves, and a few from the minor lines all be in agreement with the Comrades of Hogwarts."

An enormous cheer echoed throughout the room. Pinky blushed furiously and looked down at her feet. Unable to stand the incredible amount of attention, she silently snapped her fingers and popped away.

Beardy took the podium as Pinky reappeared in the crowd.

"Thank you. Now, Comrade Inky wishes to inform us that the ultimatum is nearly halfway finished, and shall be delivered to all major parties within the month."

"And finally, we would like the Toad Removal Squad to report on their efforts these last few weeks."

I got bored. Thus resulting in another chapter. YAY.

Not enough time really to write another one for Shadows, though. Shame about that.

And it's not that I really have anything against Professor Flitwick. He's just short and squeaky already, so therefore the logical target for replacement by House Elf.

Bye!

-Ambiguity