"Derek, come on," Meredith giggled as she pulled her husband into the clinic. "You're so slow."
"I'm not slow," Derek laughed, squeezing her hand. "You're just moving exceptionally fast."
"We're going to see our baby, Derek," Meredith breathed. "Our baby."
"I know," he nodded, stopping to pull her closer. "Mer…I love you."
"I love you too," she whispered, kissing him gently. "But I'd love you even more if you would hurry up and come inside."
"I'm coming," Derek laughed. "Let's go."
They walked into the medical clinic, entering the suite for the doctor Beth had recommended for them and Meredith approached the desk. "Meredith Shepherd," she said. "I have an appointment for an ultrasound and a general checkup."
"Of course, Mrs. Shepherd," the receptionist smiled. "I'll just need you to fill out some of this paperwork, and we'll take you shortly."
"Sure," Meredith nodded, taking the clip board and walking towards the row of chairs against the window. She filled out the forms quickly, smiling as she glanced up and Derek occasionally, watching as she concentrated on the forms.
"Why are you staring at me?" she asked as she looked at him.
"You're adorable," Derek laughed, wrapping an arm around her. "I just like watching you."
"That's creepy," she informed him with a giggle.
"It is not," Derek argued. "You're my wife. And you're carrying my baby. I can't help but look at you."
Meredith blushed slightly as a nurse appeared in the doorway. "Meredith?"
"That's us," Meredith giggled, grabbing Derek's hand and pulling him towards the exam room.
"How are we feeling today?" the nurse asked as she gestured for Meredith to step onto the scale.
"Excited," Mereidth said as the nurse made a note in her chart.
"I'm sure," she nodded. "Alright, Dad can wait here, we're going to need you to give us a urine sample, Meredith, and then you can come back here when you're done."
"Okay," Meredith nodded, stepping into the bathroom and closing the door beind her.
Derek looked around the exam room while he waited for her to return, suddenly feeling nervous. Maybe it was because he was alone in the room, but he was pretty sure it had more to do with the warnings and complications that were posted around the room. As he waited for his wife to return to the room, he suddenly feared that she would develop preeclampsia or miscarry before the second trimester.
"Derek?" Meredith asked softly as she walked back into the room. "You okay?"
"Yeah," he smiled, helping her onto the exam table. "How are you?"
"Good," she nodded. "I'm actually not sick right now."
"That's good," Derek smiled.
There was a quick knock on the door, and a smiling woman in a lab coat entered the room a moment later. "Derek and Meredith?" she asked. "I'm Dr. Perkins. It's nice to meet you."
"You too," Derek and Meredith both shook her hand before she settled into the chair at the end of the exam table.
"Alright, I see this is your first pregnancy?" she asked.
"Yes," Meredith nodded.
"Any discomfort or pain?" Dr. Perkins asked.
"Just a little nausea," Meredith replied. "And..I mean I'm eight weeks along and I haven't gained any weight. That's okay, right?"
Dr. Perkins sighed as she closed her chart. "Your bloodwork confirms that you are pregnant," she said. "Every woman is different. I don't want to alarm you, but sometimes at this stage…results can come back positive, but it's difficult to find a heartbeat. If that's the case, then the reason you haven't been showing is because your baby isn't alive."
Meredith's eyes filled with tears as she turned to Derek. He grabbed for her hand and swallowed hard as he looked at Dr. Perkins. "Can you see if that's the case?" he asked thickly, fear filling his voice.
"Of course," the doctor said as she reached for the ultrasound machine. Meredith pulled her shirt up and winced slightly as she felt the cool gel on her stomach. "Alright," Dr. Perkins said with a smile as she looked up at the screen. "It looks like you've got a perfectly healthy baby," she said, causing Derek and Meredith to both relax in relief. She turned the machine to face them and pointed to the grainy black and white image on the screen. "That's your baby," she said. "Here's his head…and his spine. And that tiny flashing…that's his heart beating."
"Oh," Meredith breathed as she leaned forward to look at the picture on the screen.
"Meredith," Derek breathed. "That's….that's our baby."
"He's beautiful," Meredith whimpered. "Oh my god."
"He…heartbeat?" Derek asked, turning to look at Dr. Perkins. "Can we hear the heartbeat?"
"Of course," Dr. Perkins said with a smile as she flipped a switch and a soft whoosing filled the room.
"Oh," Meredith whispered. "Derek…"
Derek turned to look at her, pressing his lips to hers. "Meredith," he breathed. "Listen to that strong heartbeat."
"He's strong," she whispered. "Our baby's strong."
"Thank you," Derek whispered, resting his forehead against hers, turning his head slightly so they could both see the image of their baby. "Thank you, Meredith, thank you."
She smiled softly, tears filling her eyes as she squeezed his hand tightly. "Thank you," she whispered.
"Would you like some pictures?" Dr. Perkins asked softly.
"Yes," they said together.
"Lots of pictures," Derek added. "We need some for the fridge, and for Mom, and for my wallet."
"Derek," Meredith giggled, reaching out to rest her fingertips on the screen. "Look."
"I know," he whispered. "He's perfect."
Dr. Perkins smiled as she printed out some pictures, handing them to Derek. "Alright, take one last look," she said. "I'm going to start the exam now."
Meredith smiled softly as she looked at the screen one last time. "Bye baby," she whispered. "Mommy loves you."
"So does Daddy," Derek whispered, squeezing her hand tightly.
The image disappeared to a black screen, and Dr. Perkins smiled softly as she turned to Meredith and Derek. "This is the less fun part," she said. "Some fathers aren't comfortable…"
"I'm staying," Derek nodded firmly, gripping Meredith's hand tightly.
"Can you just distract me?" Meredith whispered.
"Hmmm," Derek nodded, taking her hand and turning to face her, brushing her hair out of her face. "You know what I've been doing for baby?"
"What?" Meredith asked, a small smile playing on her lips.
"I'm starting a book for him," Derek whispered. "First will be the father's day card. And then I have pictures of you. I want to document his or her life from the moment it started. And now we'll have our very first pictures of Baby Shepherd to put in his book."
Meredith smiled softly. "That's so sweet," she whispered. "You're going to be an amazing father."
"And you're going to be an amazing mother," Derek breathed.
"Everything looks good," Dr. Perkins said with a smile as she sat back and pulled off her gloves. "Your baby is very healthy, and so are you."
"There are no problems?" Meredith asked.
"No," Dr. Perkins smiled. "But it's still early in the pregnancy. There are still many complications that could occur. I'm not trying to scare you, but you need to be aware of what may happen."
"Okay," Meredith nodded.
"I'm going to give you some prenatal vitamins, as well as some extra information on what you should be doing for your baby at this stage of the pregnancy," Dr. Perkins continued. "And if you don't have any questions, you can make an appoint to meet back here at the twenty week mark."
"It was a pleasure meeting you," Dr. Perkins said, handing Meredith a packet of information. "I'll see you in a few months."
She flashed them another smile as she walked out the door, leaving Derek to stare at the pictures in his hands before turning to look at Meredith. "Mer," he breathed. "We're going to be parents."
"We're going to be parents," Meredith echoed with a wide smile.
XXXXX
"There," Derek said confidently as he pasted an ultrasound picture on the next clean page of his baby's book. He carefully wrote down the date, then snapped it shut and handed it to Meredith. "Our baby's life so far."
Meredith giggled as she flipped through the few pages, smiling widely. "I can't believe you're doing this," she whispered.
Derek smiled as he reached out to stroke her stomach. "I just…I want to feel a connection to him," he said softly. "I know it's my baby, and I can't wait to meet him. Or her. But right now, you have such a strong connection to our baby, and I'm just…I just want my baby to know that I loved him from the moment I found out about him."
"That's sweet," Meredith whispered. "Derek, we heard our baby's heartbeat today."
"I know," he smiled, leaning down to rest his head against her stomach. "Stay strong, Baby Shepherd," he whispered against the skin of her belly. "We need you to stay strong so you can come and meet us soon."
Meredith giggled as she threaded her fingers through his hair. "You talk to baby a lot."
"I like talking to him," Derek replied. "You should try it."
"Baby can't even hear you," Meredith rolled her eyes.
"Doesn't matter," Derek said. "I want Baby to know my voice."
"He'll know you," she whispered gently. "You're Daddy."
Their moment was interrupted by the ringing of the phone and Derek sighed, his breath coming out against the soft skin of her stomach in a slight tickle. "I'll get it," he sighed.
He pushed himself off the couch and walked into the kitchen, leaning against the wall and meeting Meredith's eyes from across the room. "Hello? Mom, I'm glad it's you…Mer and I just saw…what? What do you mean?...Well, is she okay?...obviously. Does she want visitors or should we…yeah, that's understandable…No, she'll get it. I'll talk to her, see what she thinks. Alright, send Kath my love. I'll see you soon, Mom. I love you too."
"What's wrong?" Meredith asked immediately as he hung up the phone and leaned against the wall, a stunned expression on his face.
"Kathleen lost her baby," he breathed.
"What?" Meredith breathed, her arms automatically wrapping around her stomach. "She…how? When?"
"She…Chris found her on the floor of Hailey's nursery," Derek breathed. "She was bleeding pretty badly, and by the time he got her to the hospital…it was too late."
Tears filled Meredith's eyes as she stood and made her way over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Does she want us to come?"
"They're keeping her in the hospital for a few days," Derek whispered. "They're afraid of hemmorages. Mom…she said she's not sure that you visiting is the best idea."
"Oh," Meredith said, running a hand over her stomach. "Yeah, I…I get it."
"It's not you," Derek shook his head. "It's just that you're pregnant. And she just lost a baby. Mom's asking Liz not to be there either."
"I get it," Meredith nodded. "You should go."
"Are you sure?" Derek frowned. "If you need me to stay here, I'll stay. You come first, Mer."
"No," she shook her head. "Kath needs you. I can take care of baby for a little while."
"Okay," Derek nodded, a hand joining hers on her stomach. "I'll only be a couple hours. And if you get sick, call the hospital."
"Derek, I'm fine," she whispered, kissing him softly. "We'll be okay for a couple hours."
"I know," Derek sighed. "Just call me if you have any problems. At all."
"I will," she nodded.
"I love you," Derek whispered, kissing her forhead before moving to her stomach. "And I love you too," he whispered, pushing her shirt up. "Please stay strong, Baby. Mommy and Daddy couldn't handle loosing you."
Meredith smiled sadly as she ran a hand through his curls. "We're fine, Derek," she whispered. "We love you too. And your sister needs you."
"She does," Derek nodded, reaching for his keys. "Alright, call me if you need anything."
"I will," she promised, wrapping an arm over her stomach as Derek closed the door gently behind him.
"Please don't die, baby," she whispered. "Mommy loves you too much."