A/N: Urgh I cut this damn chapter from the previous one and it still ended up being 8K words... So I ended up splicing a handful of scenes from this chapter because it was dragging, and I had NO idea how to end this chapter, so if it seems choppy, SORRY BUT I COULDN'T LOOK AT THIS STUPID CHAPTER ANYMORE.
19 HOURS. FOR 19 HOURS I WROTE THIS CHAPTER. FTS.
Thank you for the reviews! I thank you for reading this story! It means a lot to me that you're taking a chance on a preggo story. I hope it's been enjoyable for you! :D
Disclaimer: I do not own GMW, but Lucaya is bae.
Maya heard feet approaching the door, and she was so tempted to cut and run that she had to momentarily grip the wall to keep her feet bolted to the floor. The lock of the apartment door unlatched, and she held her breath.
Alright. Here we go.
The door swung open to Lucas with a smile on his face, and Maya released the breath she had been holding, actually pretty glad that it had been Lucas to open the door.
"Oh man… I thought you were going to be your mom." Maya muttered, taking Lucas' hand when he reached out to tug her in. He took her school bag and set it down beside the door.
"I figured you'd rather have a familiar face greet you." Lucas turned around after shutting the door and setting the lock.
He took her in slowly, his gaze darkening the slightest bit. Then Lucas wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close, his other hand tangling into her hair. Maya's breath caught from the look in his eyes.
"And I wanted to do this."
He leaned down and claimed her mouth in a sweet kiss, drawing out a soft groan from her lips. She didn't know what it was about Lucas, but he always managed to ignite a crazy fire in her that she couldn't ignore no matter how hard she tried. Maya clutched at his shoulders, her head growing light as he slowly drove her insane from the warmth of his mouth.
She'd needed this. It really helped eradicate some of the trepidation she'd been feeling.
And then someone cleared their throat loudly behind Maya before speaking in a somewhat thick Western country accent.
"I asked you to get the door, Lucas. I don't recall asking you to makeout with our house guest right in front of it."
Lucas pulled away from Maya rather abruptly, his eyebrows lifting in surprise and muscles stiffening almost immediately. Maya glanced up at his face, staring at his mother somewhere behind Maya with a look of trepidation in his eyes. Maya couldn't see her, but from the tone of her voice, she knew exactly why Lucas looked so put off. There was ice cold frost in her voice.
An ice cold that reminded Maya of her own mother's disapproval right before she had kicked her out.
A fear gripped her heart.
"I'm sorry, ma'am." Lucas said, his hold on Maya tightening the slightest bit.
"Where are your manners? I taught you better than that." His mother said, sounding peeved. "Well? Introduce me, or you're going in the shed."
Lucas let go of Maya, and she turned around to face his mother. The first thing Maya registered was that Mama Friar was a tall woman, her dirty blonde hair piled on top of her head in a sloppy bun. The second thing? The fact that she had her arms crossed in front of her chest and was wearing a bathrobe and house slippers. Maya wasn't sure what she had expected—maybe some expensive designer dress, fully coiffed hair, and completely done up makeup—but she sure as hell knew a woman in a bathrobe was not it.
Maya swallowed thickly, already feeling herself grow nervous as Lucas' mother rose a brow. She took a small step back unconsciously and bumped into Lucas. He put a hand on her shoulder comfortingly, though she wasn't sure if it was more to reassure her or himself.
"Mama, this is Maya Hart."
His mother eyed Maya for a second before her gaze settled on Maya's abdomen. Though her hazel eyes weren't particularly expressing warmth, strangely, Maya didn't sense any disdain or disgust in her expression. Just an intrigued curiosity.
But Maya couldn't let her guard down. She had just been caught kissing Lucas. By his mother. She'd already made a terrible first impression on someone's parent, and she hadn't had to utter a word to do that. That had to be a new record.
"Maya, was it?" Mrs. Friar smiled and walked forward, reaching out her hand to shake Maya's. Maya took it carefully, and his mother gripped it tightly. "I'm Delilah Friar. Most everyone just calls me Lila though. It's nice to meet the other half of this unplanned teenage pregnancy."
It was a particularly harsh statement, and Maya definitely felt the jab at them both, but Mrs. Friar was still smiling congenially. It was hard to tell if she was joking or not.
"Uh… the pleasure is all mine?" Maya said, uncertain how to respond to her.
Lila stared pensively at Maya for a moment, and Maya stared up at her, completely unable to tell what was going through the woman's mind. There was something really chill about her (hell, the woman was wearing a bathrobe), but also something authoritative and maybe a little frightening that made Maya nervous. But Maya was honestly glad she had Lucas there with her, because Mama Friar was one intimidating woman.
Maya wondered if Lila saw her as some kind of gold digger. Maya and her mother scraped by on life, while clearly Lucas was well to do, but she didn't like Lucas because of that. He was honestly one of the best people she'd ever met. He made her feel like she could be better than where she was in life. He made her happier than she'd ever been. If she had to convince his mother of her sincerity, she would.
"Goodness, you got all dressed up cute for this for no reason. You're absolutely glowing." Lila finally said gently. She had an amused twinkle in her eyes that Maya recognized as one she usually saw Lucas sporting. "But you're pregnant. You should have just worn a baggy sweater and leggings."
Maya's brows lifted in slight surprise. She had been about to wear that. Before she could respond, Lila let go of Maya's hand and turned back around, heading towards the alcove next to the living room with a hanging chandelier where a table had been set.
"Dinner is ready, so why don't we get this out of the way first so we can discuss things." She called out over her shoulder. "I made homemade vegetable lasagna. I hope you like it."
Neither of them moved, still standing in the same place in front of the door, a little bit taken aback by what had just happened. Maya glanced at Lucas behind her who still had that slightly anxious look on his face.
"I said dinner is ready." Lila barked. "Get moving you two!"
Maya jumped in alarm, and she rushed after his mother, feeling fear run down her back at the return of the ice cold tone.
This was Lucas' mother?
~.~.~
"So. You're pregnant, Maya." Lila said after Lucas finished rinsing the plates and came back to sit next to Maya. Maya felt like she was on the chopping block from Lila's intense stare. "And Lucas is the father. And you're eighteen weeks in?"
Dinner had been a quiet affair, with Maya too scared to make conversation, and Lucas clearly uneasy. The food had been great, and to Maya's delight, there had been ketchup on the table, so she'd been able to have some, though she hadn't put her usual quantity on the food. She knew how disgusting it could be to some people. She didn't want to make her impression on Lucas' mother any worse. And it was very hard to tell what Lila was thought about her. The woman was a master at guarding her expressions.
After dinner, they had relocated to the living room where Maya sat stiffly, back completely straight, knowing that she was probably about to be interrogated. This was it. The moment that would make or break her relationship with Lucas and his mother.
Lucas took her hand in his, rubbing soft circles on her knuckles with his thumb, and Maya squeezed his hand in return in thanks for the support. It really was comforting.
"Yes." Maya responded.
"I really, really ought to put you in the shed for this Lucas…" Lila said lowly, her hazel gaze momentarily glancing at Lucas in irritation. "I want you to tell me exactly how this happened."
Lucas opened his mouth to speak, but his mother lifted her hand and shut him up before he could get a word out.
"Not you. Maya."
Oh yeah.
Delilah Friar was one scary woman.
"We were drunk at a party." Maya said, her cheeks burning up slightly as she recalled a few of the memories from that night. "One thing led to another and then…"
Maya gestured to her abdomen.
Lila shook her head in disdain and turned to Lucas crossly.
"You see what happens when you use alcohol? What did I tell you about alcohol? Now look what you did. You impregnated this poor, sweet girl and she has to carry your child for nine months while handling school. Do you have any idea how difficult this must be for her?"
For a moment, Maya just blinked in confusion, wondering if she had really heard her correctly.
Sweet?
Maya was a little shocked by her words. That was definitely the first time she'd ever heard that one before. She felt a little warmed by the fact that his mother cared about what she was going through while pregnant. But Lucas wasn't solely to blame for this.
"Mrs. Friar—"
"Call me Lila, sweetie."
"Okay, uh Lila…" Maya said, a little tentatively. She didn't want to incur her wrath. "Lucas isn't totally to blame. I'm responsible for this too."
"Oh I know that, Maya. But I can't help but blame my idiot of a son." She smiled, chuckling to herself. "We Friars have very intense sex drives, so I have a feeling Lucas came on to you first. I don't blame him. You're very cute."
"Mom!"
Lila ignored Lucas' indignant and embarrassed reaction.
"Maya, I really like you. I know we haven't talked much yet, but I like you. I want us to be friends."
Maya's eyes widened in surprise. They'd barely had a full or proper conversation, and his mother already liked her? It was honestly bewildering and hard to believe to Maya.
"But, I'm going to be honest with you two. I think you raising a child is a stretch. I don't like it. You both are still very young, and you have your whole lives ahead of you and too much you could do with your future that you'll be letting go." Lila smiled softly when Maya frowned in concern. "But don't worry about my opinion, Maya. Lucas told me you guys are keeping your baby no matter what. And if that's what you decided, there's nothing I can do about it. If you both are old enough to think you can have unprotected sex like idiots, then you're both old enough to make decisions regarding the consequences on your own, although they might be ill-advised. So the only thing I can do is accept it."
Maya didn't really know what to say to respond to that. Lila was unbelievably abrasive and the way she spoke about their mistakes made Maya a bit uncomfortable and awkward, but there was something about her that was extremely open and friendly in a way that also managed to loosen Maya up and make her feel better.
It was strange. Maya had expected a very uptight woman, and in a way she was, but Maya could also see that she was unbelievably lenient and chill. Maya could definitely tell that she was most likely the reason why Lucas had become "Mr. Perfect" in the first place. She'd raised him well, and honestly, Maya knew deep down that she had started looking up to Lila and respecting her. She inspired Maya to want to be a mother like her.
"Thank you, Mrs– uh, Lila."
"This wasn't exactly the way I pictured ever meeting my son's girlfriend when he got one, but I'm happy he's happy with you nonetheless. And clearly, he cares deeply about you which will provide a good environment for your child to grow up in. Regardless of the circumstances of the pregnancy."
Maya wasn't really sure how to let Lila know that technically, she wasn't Lucas' girlfriend, but she held her tongue.
"Now, I'm under the impression that you guys haven't really discussed your baby's future, but Lucas told me that you're raising Jellybean– Is it Jellybean?"
"Yeah." Maya said, a small smile on her face as she put her hand on her abdomen.
"How did you come up with that?" Lila let out a small laugh. "That's the cutest thing I've ever heard."
"When I was six weeks in, she looked like a jellybean in the ultrasound. I guess it just kind of stuck."
"Genius." Lila said, leaning on the armrest and watching Maya with something akin to fond admiration. "Anyway, yes. Lucas told me that you guys are planning to raise Jellybean together, but you live with the Matthews. I believe, due to the nature of your relationship, that it would be best if you lived with Lucas."
"We were planning to figure that out tonight." Lucas replied.
Lila nodded, "I reckoned, cowpoke. So I'm going to do you both a favour since you're still my son, even if you're a real idiot."
Lucas' face was a little flushed in embarrassment, and Maya had to fold her lips over to keep from snorting in amusement. His mother called him cowpoke? It was pretty hilarious to see their interaction. Lila was rough with Lucas, but she was clearly treating him like a naughty little baby boy, and it made Maya want to laugh. She could tell they were very close.
Not like me and my mother…
Maya felt a twinge of pain in her chest at the thought. There was a time when they were close once. Or as close as they could be for a mother who was rarely home from work and a daughter who spent almost all her time at her best friend's place. But all that was gone now. Even their three in the morning phone conversations about whether Katy should bring grilled cheese or a tuna melt back home.
Maya forced her thoughts to change before her melancholy showed up on her face.
"Maya, we have a lot of room here, so I'm opening my home to you." Lila continued. Maya's eyebrows lifted in surprise. "If you want to stay with Lucas—with us—anytime you need to, that's okay with me. But I'm only letting you crash here. I'm not going to be providing anything you need for your baby. That will be you and Lucas' responsibility since you both decided to screw like rabbits and ended up with a damn kid."
Damn, Lila was almost brutally blunt. Maya could feel Lucas stiffening uncomfortably next to her and she wondered just how often he'd been on the receiving end of his mother's sharp tongue.
"Mama, c'mon." Lucas said in exasperation. "Tone it down a bit, would you?"
Her gaze shot to his in annoyance and something slightly devious crawled into her gaze.
"Want to know something funny, Maya~" Lila singsonged, "When Lucas was young, I put him through ballet classes. He was the only boy in a class of about twenty little girls. Guess what he insisted I call him for the next six months?"
Lucas' eyes widened in alarm. "I'm sorry. I'll stop talking."
"Good boy." Lila said, crossing her legs with a smug look on her face.
But the damage was done. Maya rose a mischievous brow at him in amusement, and he let out an exasperated groan, leaning his head back against the sofa.
"Lucas took ballet?"
"For five years actually. He was very good." Lila responded, a similar mischievous look on her face, "It's a shame his father forced him to switch to Little League and Pee Wee."
"Oh this is priceless!" Maya snorted, mentally tucking that information away for the future.
"How did I know this was going to happen…" Lucas sighed in defeat.
"So anyway, what I was saying Maya, was that you can stay here anytime until you two figure out your future living arrangements." Lila glowered at Lucas, "But you will be moving out after you graduate college, Lucas. You got someone pregnant. So I'm forcing you to be an adult. So you had better start working on building your credit to get an apartment."
"Yes ma'am."
Lila smiled warmly and proudly and leaned over, placing her hand Lucas' knee. "Lucas, I'm very proud of you for growing up into a responsible, caring, sweet adult. Thank you for not turning out like your father."
The last part of Lila's sentence was said a little tightly and a little angrily with an undertone of resentment, and it only served to remind Maya of Lucas' morbid words that he didn't want his father to know of the pregnancy. This was the second time she'd heard something particularly bad about the mysterious Mr. Friar. And the fact that both Friars had said it worried Maya a little bit.
Just how bad is Mr. Friar?
Lila patted Lucas' knee. "Lucas, I want to talk to Maya alone for a second. Could you give us some privacy?"
He nodded and got up, slowly sliding his hand out of Maya's, their fingers trailing each other's before they finally let go. She stared up at him, honestly feeling a little bit anxious at the thought of being left alone with his mom, but Lucas gave her an encouraging smile, and Maya relaxed a bit as he walked away.
She turned back to Lila who was watching her with warmth in her expression.
"Don't worry. I'm not going to attack you, honey." Lila smiled. "I just wanted to know your thoughts on my son, and I didn't know if you felt comfortable discussing it with him around. Consider this private girl talk."
Maya let out a visible sigh of relief and leaned back against the plush cushions of the sofa. "Honestly, he makes me happy. I like him. A lot. Probably since even before we slept together."
"I've always wondered what kind of person you were, Maya. He's talked about you before, you know? The first time I noticed his feelings was probably two years ago when he was talking about some guy you were interested in. Lucas kept saying how annoying you were for not listening and not taking his advice, but even though he looked mad, he was very obviously jealous. And that's when I knew he had pretty deep feelings for you."
Two years ago? That was a long time ago. Had Maya really been so dense that she didn't pick up on that through all those years?
"Maya, you're good for him. Usually when his father is around, and especially after the holiday break, Lucas tends to be particularly irritated, but the past two months, he's been in a pretty great mood. And I'm positive that's your doing."
Maya felt her heart skip in excitement at her words. The thought that she had a positive effect on Lucas made her a bit giddy. But Lila had brought it up again. Lucas' father and how terrible he seemed. And it made Maya curious.
"Lila, Lucas told me he couldn't tell his father about the baby. Why?"
Lila regarded her silently for a second before letting out a soft sigh. "My husband Thomas—soon to be ex—is a little rough around the edges. He's very driven and stubborn and once he decides he wants a certain thing to go one way, he will relentlessly try to make it happen. Especially when it comes to Lucas who he tends to control. Doesn't leave much room for flaws. Lucas' unexpected daughter is definitely what Thomas would consider a flaw in Lucas' life. So I think he made the right choice to keep it on the down low."
Maya felt chills down her back. So Lucas' father clearly was someone who she had to watch out for.
"Well what happens if he finds out? What does he do to Lucas' supposed 'flaws'?"
The smile Lila gave her had a touch of hidden cynicism, and Maya recognized the look as one that told her she wouldn't be getting an answer to her question. And that scared the shit out of her. Whatever was so bad about Lucas' father, even Lila had her reservations about it.
"You're very brave you know. Keeping the child takes a lot of courage at your age." Lila said, changing the subject, "But I want you to remember that you won't be living for yourself anymore. Taking care of a baby is one thing, but you're going to have to raise her too. And not just for a handful of years. For the rest of your life. Are you prepared to sacrifice everything in the future for your child?"
"Yeah. Even if I have to work morning to night for her." Maya smiled a little melancholically, "My mother did that for me. Sacrificed everything she could have been and could have done so I could have something of a decent life."
And look how I repaid her. By fucking up the one thing she asked—begged—of me.
Maya fidgeted with the bottom of her dress, her eyes downcast and trying not to think too much about her ruined relationship with her mother. Why was it that despite all this time passing, she still wasn't okay?
"Maya?"
"But nevermind that." Maya feigned a jovial smile, knowing that it very obviously seemed fake. She was grateful that Lila didn't press her though. "I'm definitely scared about raising a child to adulthood, but I plan to give my all for Jellybean. I want her to grow up happy."
"Lucas said the same thing. And after meeting you, I know you two will make excellent parents, no matter how young you two are. The most important thing in raising a child is making sure their needs are met and giving them lots of love and clearly, you both are willing to do whatever it takes for Jellybean."
"Thank you for that. That really does mean a lot. But I don't want Lucas to sacrifice everything." Maya replied honestly, "I kept the pregnancy from him for about a month. He already had his plan for the future set before he found out. I want him to still go to college so he can become a vet. And I also don't want him to quite baseball. He loves being on the team."
I don't want to take away his freedom.
"I agree. I don't think just because you have a baby that either of you should stop your entire lives, but I can't speak for him. This is something you two need to decide together." Lila smiled kindly, "Your care for Lucas' well-being warms my heart, Maya. I can definitely see why he likes you so much. You know, aside from your obvious attractive physical attributes."
A small blush sprouted on Maya's cheeks, and she averted her gaze, a little embarrassed by the unabashed statements.
"You're so cute, Maya." She teased, standing up and stretching loudly. "Well it's getting late. And you still have school tomorrow. You must be exhausted."
Maya looked at the clock above their TV and was surprised that it was almost ten. She hadn't realized time had slipped by so quickly.
"You're right." Maya stood up as well, walking over to the door to pick up her bag. "I should probably head home soon. I texted Riley about the dinner, but she's probably wondering why I haven't come back yet."
"Hmmm… I don't know how I feel about a pregnant girl going home by herself. And I don't like Lucas driving out and about late on a school night."
"I'll be fine taking the subway."
"I disagree." Lila said, "I'll call the Matthews and let them know you'll be spending the night here. You can sleep in Lucas' room. Lucas can drop you off at the Matthews' in the morning before school."
Maya's brows rose, a little surprised by her declaration. "You would let me stay the night in Lucas' room after what happened?"
"You're already pregnant." Lila laughed, "What good does the no girlfriend in the house rule do if he already defeated the purpose of said rule. Regardless, he'll be sleeping on the couch. You can take his bed."
Maya felt bad. She didn't want him to be forced to be displaced from a comfortable night's rest. It was bound to be uncomfortable, especially since Lucas was pretty tall and the sofa wasn't altogether that long.
"I don't mind him sleeping in his own bed with me." Maya said, hoping it came out sounding innocent, because she was pretty sure her words could easily be misconstrued. "And I don't mean it like that. I just think I would be more comfortable with him in the room."
Lila stared at her for a second, her own eyes searching Maya's before her lips curved up into a small smile. "Alright, darlin'. But only because I want you to be comfortable when you sleep."
She gestured for Maya to follow her and took her down the hallway leading to the closed door of Lucas' room.
"You better not be watching something inappropriate in there." Lila called out, rapping her knuckles against the door, "We're coming inside."
She pushed open the door and tugged Maya in behind her. His room was pretty plain, painted blue, nothing particularly outstanding about it. Well, except for his scent clinging to every surface of the room. It had been lingering in various parts of the living room, but here, it was extremely strong. Maya fought her urge to inhale deeply when she felt a twinge of pleasure rise up in her.
Lucas pulled his headphones out, turning to look at them in slight confusion, and Maya stared at the ground. She kind of felt like a concubine being offered to a queen's son, if she were to put into words how odd the situation kind of felt.
"Maya's sleeping in here tonight." Lila declared. "And you are too, but I swear if you try anything funny on a school night, I'm putting you in the shed, got it? In the morning, drop her off at the Matthews'."
Lucas glanced at Maya in slight surprise, but he nodded in understanding.
"Okay. I'll uh… I'll go take a shower then. So you can change." He closed his laptop and stood from his desk chair, grabbing his towel off the back of his chair. He gestured to his dresser. "There are some t-shirts in there if you want something to sleep in."
As Lucas made his way out of the room, Lila wrapped her arm around his shoulders, stopping him from leaving, and brought her lips to his ear.
"I mean it Lucas… I know you like the back of my hand. If you have sex with her, you're in deep shit."
Lila had growled it lowly, and Maya knew it hadn't been for her own ears to hear, but she had definitely caught the threat. And from the way Lucas stared at his mother a little stunned, Maya knew Lila had meant every word she had said.
When Lucas left, Maya walked over to his dresser and pulled it open, perusing the neatly folded shirts before taking out one that looked a little worn, but looked like a souvenir from a rodeo. There was a cartoon man with a cowboy hat riding a bull on the front. She smiled, deciding this was the perfect one.
"Alright, I'm going to go call the Matthews. Do you need anything else from me?" Lila asked.
"I kind of need to empty my bladder." Maya said with a smile, "Is there another bathroom?"
Lila nodded with a chuckle. "Down the hall, second to last door before the living room."
Maya sighed gratefully and rushed down the hall to the bathroom with the t-shirt. She used the restroom and then removed her panty liner, wrapping it in toilet paper before tossing it in the nearby trash bin. She cleaned herself up and washed her hands properly, before tugging off her dress and pulling on the borrowed t-shirt. It obviously didn't fit well—it stopped at her thighs—but it was comfortable and warm. And best of all, it smelled almost exactly like Lucas, and she mentally sighed in bliss. She loved his scent. And she loved the way that wearing his shirt made her feel like he was wrapped around her.
She left the bathroom, heading back to Lucas' room where his mother was standing there with an amused smile on her face.
"All good?" Lila asked with a small yawn.
"Yeah, definitely." Maya said, setting her dress on Lucas' chair before removing her boots.
When Maya straightened, Lila leaned down and wrapped her up in a tight hug. Surprised, Maya wasn't sure what to do so she hugged her back, not knowing the reason behind the affectionate gesture.
"Maya," Lila whispered warmly in her ear, "Thank you for giving me my first grandchild."
Maya was shocked and extremely touched by the comment. She hadn't been expecting those words from Lila. It was a little sad that Maya hadn't heard those words from Katy, who she wanted to hear that from most of all, but it still meant something to her.
And it meant that Lila approved even though Maya had done nothing but screw up. It meant that Lila wanted Maya in her life and in Lucas'.
Maya forced the lump growing in her throat down. She couldn't get all blubbery now.
Before she could respond, Lila had let go and was already making her way down the hall.
"Just shout if you need anything, okay?" she called out to Maya.
Maya was frozen in place for a little while, her heart jumping in her chest in happiness. She hadn't known how much having Lila's approval meant to her, but now that she had it, her spirits lifted a bit and a weight seemed to be taken off her shoulders.
A good thing had happened to her. It was one of the first days she had felt some real inkling of happiness in a while.
Maya went over to her school bag next to Lucas' desk, rummaging through it until she pulled out the notebook containing her letter to her father. She snatched a pen from Lucas' desk and plopped on his bed, opening it to write.
Hey dad.
I know my letters usually aren't cheerful or happy. And I know I'm usually blaming you for one thing or another, but I just felt like I should tell you about today. I met the mother of the father of my baby. And she actually liked me. Surprising right? I wouldn't have expected anyone to like the daughter of a deserting Clutterbucket asshole. But even though I'm mad at you, I wanted to tell you, for the first time in a while, I've felt a little bit of happiness. Maybe life is a complete mess right now, and like I told you before, I'm still scared of raising Jellybean into adulthood because I don't have a first-hand example to learn from (thanks to your sorry ass), but I don't know… It feels like things are looking up. Maybe things are getting better. Maybe it's okay for me to have some hope.
Maya had been a little bit lost in thought and absorbed in her writing so she didn't hear when Lucas walked in and closed the door, but then a shadow fell over her notebook, and she glanced up in surprise.
To Lucas standing in front of her in just a pair of boxers. Maya suddenly felt an unbelievable spasm of arousal run through her as she stared at his body.
"Why can't you ever put on any clothes, Heehaw?" Was it wrong that she really wanted to put whipped cream on him and lick it off like some crazed sex kitten? Dammit, she was so fucking horny.
"Because I love watching you react to me." He snarked back. Then he pointed to the letter to her dad. "What's that? Is that the same thing I saw a while back?"
"No." she lied, closing it quickly.
Lucas gently took it out of her hands against her protests and flipped it back open to the page it had been on, brows furrowed as he looked at the words on the paper.
"What is it?"
Maya sighed in defeat, knowing there was no way around it. "It's a letter to my dad. I'm never sending it so sometimes if life gets tough, I write my anger to him. It helps me cope."
Lucas read the page silently, his expression not particularly changing, save for this slight concern that she could read in his eyes.
"How long have you been writing it?"
"Since the end of middle school."
And then she hopped off the bed and pulled it out of his hands before he could flip back to a previous entry. He'd gotten a glimpse of the page she had just written on, but there was no way in hell she would let him read anything beforehand. She'd mentioned Lucas a couple times, and she wasn't sure if she wanted him to know about all her insecurities regarding him. She stuffed the notebook back into her school bag before straightening.
"Why haven't you ever sent it?"
"Because he's not going to respond." Maya said, facing him, "I wrote him a letter once years ago, and he didn't answer back. My mom told me to never contact him again, so this is what I do instead."
Maya rubbed her arm, uncomfortable with the topic. She didn't want to talk about this anymore.
"Your mom and I talked." Maya said, changing the subject, "We both think that you shouldn't drop all your activities just because of the baby."
Lucas frowned. "If I don't, I'll be leaving you by yourself, and that's not fair to you."
"As much as I appreciate it, I'll be fine, Huckleberry." Maya gave him a reassuring smile. "I don't want you to quit what you love just because I'm pregnant. And the same goes for college. Don't take that year off."
"Maya." Lucas tugged her forward by the hips, a serious look on his face. "I honestly don't mind taking a year off. It wouldn't be right for me to put you through the first year with a baby on your own."
"But I wouldn't be on my own." She asserted, slipping her arms around him and gazing up at him. "There are people who can help me and on top of that, it's not like you'd be completely abandoning me. You'd just be gone for a bit of time to take your lectures. And then we'd have you at night."
"Maya—"
"Lucas, I won't let you give up what you're used to. Yes, I'm aware being by myself while you're gone will be weird, but honestly, you have goals you need to achieve."
Goals I don't want to keep you from just because I'm pregnant.
Lucas stared down at her for a second, his expression conflicted, but Maya only rose a brow, letting him know silently that she wasn't going to budge on her stance. Finally, Lucas sighed, knowing he'd have to concede this battle to her.
"Then can you promise me though, that if anything goes wrong, you'll call me immediately?"
She rolled her eyes. "Obviously Huckleberry."
"I mean it. If there are any problems, I'm coming straight back to you."
"Yeah, yeah…"
"Good." He smiled.
She hummed contently, gazing up at him with a smile and just breathing in his scent. He smelled amazing. But it didn't help that being so close to him was making her mind drift to particularly dirty thoughts. Lucas underneath her dirty thoughts.
"Is it bad that I really love seeing you in my favourite shirt?" he muttered, his gaze darkening as he looked at her.
"Is it bad that I really want you to kiss me?" Maya replied quietly, leaning into him.
With a slight smile, he leaned down, capturing her lips in a heated kiss, his arms winding around her waist to tug her forward until their bodies were flush against each other. She let out a low moan into his mouth, a surge of heat dancing in her veins. She could feel the heat coursing wildly through her, burning and pooling between her legs.
He sat back on the edge of his bed, tugging Maya onto his lap. She straddled him, sliding her arms around his neck, molding herself to him, kissing him more urgently when she felt his arousal. His hand traveled under the hem of her shirt, trailing up her hips before settling on the bare skin of her lower back. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and heard Lucas' groan from his throat when she grinded against him slowly. Maya's breathing harshened from the sound. She was well aware that her desire had skyrocketed beyond what was normal for her.
So horny.
She was so unbelievably horny. She'd never wanted it more.
Was this even normal? She needed release. Badly.
He trailed kisses down to her jaw and placed a few gentle kisses on the overheated skin of her neck before sucking the skin in between his teeth. Maya pressed herself closer to him with a ragged sigh, her toes curling and pleasure rippling in waves down her body. His hands teasing the skin of her waist under the shirt and his mouth on her neck making her flush left her dizzy, and Maya squirmed on his lap, the insatiable need to be touched between her legs pervading her mind.
"Maya, be my girlfriend." Lucas murmured into her neck.
And Maya stiffened and froze.
With a sharp intake of breath, Maya put her hands on his shoulders and pushed away from him, her heart drumming in her ears. She swallowed thickly, trying to catch her breath.
"I can't."
A confused frown flitted on Lucas' face, and he stared at her for a second, clearly trying to figure out if she was joking or not.
But she wasn't.
Because all of a sudden, she knew she was scared. And she knew exactly why. It was why after they'd slept together, Maya had cut and run with her tail between her legs. It was why whenever he had looked like he had something important he wanted to confess to her, she had avoided it like the plague. It was why she wanted to run and hide when he had told her he liked her.
She trusted Lucas to never hurt her, but part of her—the part that she knew had been viciously affected by her mother's failure at finding love in life—was apprehensive. She wanted to keep her distance because of that one little doubt in her mind that maybe, just maybe, there could be a chance that Lucas would leave her somehow for whatever reason. And if he did, she would have to find a way to make it through with her heart in shambles.
But that wouldn't happen if she didn't open herself entirely to him. She needed this one distance to keep her sanity and preserve her heart. To keep herself from falling completely. To keep from drowning and not being able to find a way out if everything crashed and burned.
"Maya, what?"
She removed his hands from her sides and backed off of his lap, immediately missing his warmth and the feel of his body against hers. She took a few steps away from him, forcing herself to stay put, despite every ounce of her being screaming at her to get back on his lap and let him work his magic.
"I can't be your girlfriend." Maya said honestly, "I can't get hurt. And I don't want to get hurt by you."
He frowned, staring up at her incredulously, a little bit of hurt creeping into the beautiful green. "Maya, you know I would never do anything to hurt you."
"Lucas stop. You don't get it. I need space. I can't just let myself go."
He was starting to look a little irritated. "And why the hell not? I don't understand. We both like each other. How hard is it to make it official?"
"It just is, okay?" she growled. "I can't be your girlfriend."
"That makes no sense. I won't accept that as an answer. Tell me the truth Maya."
"Lucas, drop it!"
"No. Tell me why you're trying to push me away now of all times! Just tell me, so I can at least understand what the hell you're talking about. So I can understand what's going through your mind." His jaw was clenched tightly. "We've already established that we like each other. Hell, we've had sex and made a baby, and you know I don't want anyone but you. So what's the problem here?"
Maya let out a sigh, staring at the floor. "Lucas, I'm scared of getting left. Desperately scared. Maybe it sounds stupid to you, but my mom was left, and I've seen what it did to her. I don't want that to be me."
Lucas frowned. "You're not your mother Maya. Just because your mom got left doesn't mean you're going to turn out just like her."
"But you don't know that. Look at me, Lucas." She gestured to her abdomen with derisive snort. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, right?"
"Stop that. You are not your mother Maya. And stop looking at yourself that way. Maybe your father left you both, but I would never do that to you. You or Jellybean."
"But you don't know that." she pressed, "Years from now, you could decide you want nothing more to do with us and take off back to Texas."
"Yes I do know. I'm not going anywhere." Lucas said emphatically, reaching out and taking her hands. "Even if you try to push me away. I promised you, didn't I?"
She stayed silent for a moment, avoiding his gaze. Lucas tugged on her hands, pulling her in between his legs.
"Is that why you told me you wanted to pretend nothing happened after we slept together?" he asked quietly, sounding shocked.
Maya bristled at the reminder. "Yes, okay. I know it was stupid and kind of messed up, but I was trying to protect myself from you because I knew deep down things regarding you had changed forever. And then you really did leave, and I was upset that you didn't try to stick around."
Lucas narrowed his eyes. "That's not fair Maya. I left because I thought that was what you really wanted. You seemed okay with it."
"And that's the point! I wasn't okay!" Maya blurted, furiously meeting his gaze. "I wanted you to stay, Lucas. I wanted you to stay so badly. So, so badly! But I was scared okay? The more time I spend with you, the harder it is to back away. And now that I'm pregnant with your baby, I know it's going to be even harder to be away from you, and I'm terrified Lucas. I don't know how to deal with this. Because if you leave…"
She quieted for a moment and then rolled her eyes in exasperation with a sigh.
"I should have just been honest with you from the start. I mean I had you. And then I lost you."
Lucas' gaze softened, and he smiled, looking up at her like she was his entire world. His eyes were shining with warmth, and Maya's pulse began to race.
"You do have me. You've always had me. I'm right here."
He reached up to cup the back of her neck and pulled her down until their foreheads were touching.
"Maya, I know you're scared, but you have to trust me. I won't leave you, okay? I'll never leave you." he said, "Girlfriend or not, nothing will ever change that. If it really does make you uncomfortable, then we don't have to make it official. But I want you to be my girlfriend. Can we make it official?"
Maya nodded and smiled, her fears alleviated a lot more now that he knew what was going on with her. Why had she doubted him?
"Okay."
He stood up with a grin, taking her face in his hands before placing a chaste kiss to her lips that sent a shiver down Maya's back. She didn't know how he managed it, but she was even more turned on than she was before.
"I think we should go to bed." He muttered against her lips. "We have to get up early."
She loosely grasped his wrists, licking her lips slightly.
"I can't sleep."
"What? Do you want me to sleep on the couch?" Lucas asked, an eyebrow raised teasingly, "I mean, sure, some groping is bound to happen to you at some point in the night, but if that really bothers you, I'll sleep somewhere else."
"No. That's not it." She rubbed her thighs uncomfortably together, grimacing slightly from the lack of relief from the friction. "Lucas, I'm horny. It's really bad… And being in the same bed as you will make it worse."
He took a slight step back from her, staring at her for a second. Then an amused snort left his lips, and he started laughing.
"It's not funny you asshole!" Maya's face burned red in embarrassment. "You're the reason why I'm like this right now!"
"Okay." Lucas took her hand and led her around the side of the bed, lifting up his covers with a smirk. "Let's take care of the problem."
Maya frowned, but climbed under the covers, settling in and glancing at him with furrowed brows. He got in behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle, pulling her backwards until he was spooning her and she was pressed flush against him. When his hands trailed lower, Maya felt goosebumps rise on her neck.
"Lucas, you'll get in trouble if we get caught."
She definitely still remembered his mother's threat. And Maya herself wasn't even in any danger, but she still felt chills of fear from Lila's dangerous words. Lucas didn't seem to care though because he still didn't move his hands.
"Relax. I have to take care of my girlfriend don't I? What kind of guy would I be if I left you wound up?"
"Are you sure?"
And then her breath hitched in her throat when he slipped his hand into her panties. She let out a small, shaky moan.
"Shhhh…" he whispered playfully in her ear, "You have to stay quiet or I'm going in the shed. And we don't want that."
"Lucas…"
"Just relax…"