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Chapter 2 - Cookies and a satellite dish

With a loud plop Hermione appeared in the main street of Godric's Hollow and immediately felt a chill running down her spine. This place still gave her the creeps. She didn't know why Harry of all people decided to live here.

She hadn't seen him since his house warming party last month. It had been a small gathering. A dinner party more than anything else really. The Weasleys and herself had been there. Harry had cooked, there had been wine, friendly chitchat, laughter and of course awkward silent moments when they had remembered all the people Harry hadn't been able to invite to his very first housewarming.

The first couple of days after the battle they had stayed at Hogwarts. They had set up a little Camp in the Gryffindor Common room and just stayed there. They hadn't done much of anything. They didn't talk, they didn't go out... They had mostly just sat there. No one had bothered them except for the occasional house elf that made sure they kept eating and an owl from Ron siblings asking when he was coming home. None of them wanted to... It had just felt so right to suffer together through the aftermath apart from everyone else, just like it had always been.

She had been the first to pull herself together. After she decided it was time to finally find her parents she'd told her two best friends that it was time for her and that they should try to go home as well, that they all needed to slowly start living again.

When she stepped outside the castle for the first time in what felt like months the world just looked different. Like she had been put on a different planet like a doll. In retrospect they had only locked themselves up for shiva for little more than a week, but isolation tends to play tricks on your mind.

She had gone off to Australia found her parents and restored their memory. When the Grangers had made it back to their home in London Hermione found Pigwidgeon already sitting at the entrance.

"You were right... Harry and I are at my parent's place if you need us.

Take care

Ron"

It had been just a line scribble on a piece of parchment, but it meant they were trying to move on, just like she was and that had been a major relieve.

Over the next weeks the letters both by Ron and Harry had gotten longer. They occasionally saw each other but mostly Hermione had tried to mend the relationship with her parents.

When Harry had written that he wanted to look for a place of his own she had been a little concerned, worrying he might be trying to draw away from people, but when he had told her about his plan to use some of his parent's money to buy a bit of land in Godric's Hollow and build a house all by himself, he had seemed so happy that she was sure it was the right thing for him.

Together with some help from Ron and George the little home had been done within a month and Harry had moved in.

Before Hermione knew it she was standing in front of the little house. It was really beautiful and looked so unlike any other place in town. The small wooden farmhouse with it's bright yellow paint job stood in the middle of a meadow on the outskirts of the town. A little path led to the front porch. She noticed the Satellite Dish on the ceiling and smirked. Apparently he'd managed to convince the ministry to grant him electricity. It was something he'd insisted on when he looked at the property.

Hermione was glad he was finally using some of his money. Maybe he was finally done punishing himself. This was so much nicer than that awful place Sirius left him.

Her heart started banging loudly when she reached the door.

"Come on... It's just Harry...", she encouraged herself.

She swallowed hard and then knocked exactly 4 times, so that Harry would know it was someone he knew. He was weird that way, almost like Moody.

When the raven haired boy, or rather man opened the door a big grin spread across his face.

"Hey! I wasn't expecting you! Nice of you to stop by!"

Hermione stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"Hey Harry... Sorry to barge in. I hope I'm not interrupting. I just thought... Well, I thought you were right and we should just talk."

"It's no problem, really! It's great to have people over. The place just feels a little too empty at times, you know? Come on in! I just made some cookies!", Harry said with a crooked smile.

"Ooohh... I didn't know you could bake!", Hermione said as she entered her friends house. It was a little weird to think of this place as Harrys' house, his home. She'd known him since they were eleven, but he'd never really had a home before. For the most part he'd hung around at the Weasley's on holidays and sometimes over the summer, but he'd only been a guest there. This was his living room, his photos hanging on the wall, his framed OWL certificate... It was a place for himself, with his unique character all over it. From the little snitches on the walls to the Gryffindor crest on the fireplace.

"Be right back", Harry said as she said on the sofa, then disappeared into the kitchen.

When he came back he sat a platter of chocolate chip cookies and a butter beer in front of her.

"It's kind of funny to take butter beer out of a fridge, you know? I mean I'm familiar with both worlds, but I've never mixed them before, you know? Does that ever happen to you?" Harry asked as he plopped down on the armchair next to her.

"All the time, with my parents and all…" she answered with a smirk.

"So...?" , Harry started. "You wanted to talk about this stuff that you wrote about in your letter, right?"

"Yeah, I just... I wasn't kidding when I said it was easier to write it down. I've never actually talked about it... ever..."

Hermione was evading his gaze now, looking embarrassed.

"Would it help if I just asked you stuff and you answered?"

Hermione nodded.

"Ok then... So what is the first memory you remember that has something to do with being trans?"

Hermione looked surprised and Harry just shrugged.

"I looked some stuff up on the internet."

"Well I remember being in primary school. I would always wear boys' clothes; you know? Hang out with the other boys... Other kids would sometimes ask me if I wanted to be a boy and I would always say yes, you know? Without a thought. It was just so clear to me as a kid. I can't believe you researched this!"

"Well I've never heard about transgender people before. My aunt's family obviously wasn't very interested in LGBT stuff and like you said, it doesn't seem very common in the wizarding world. I meant what I said Hermione... I just want to be here for you and it seems like this is a genuine issue for you."

"Thanks Harry. It really means a lot to me, you know? To be able to talk to you about this."

"So... Have you decided yet?"

"Decided?"

"Well apparently there's people that change their gender and people that don't and just live with the situation the way it is."

Hermione was silent for a moment, as if thinking about what Harry said.

"I... I don't know... It just seems so surreal. I've been Hermione for all my life. What if I'm just making it up? What if I think I'm a guy, but when I change I will regret it? Besides... I don't know if I can demand people to accept me as a guy. It feels like it's too much to ask."

"Well I don't think you have to worry about that" Harry answered with a laugh. You saved the bloody wizarding world and everyone knows it. "People would accept you as the bloody queen if you asked for it."

Hermione glared at him. "That's not even remotely funny, Harry"

"Yes it is! You know what? Maybe you should just not take it that seriously,"

For a moment you could see a flash of hurt across Hermione's face.

"That's not what I meant", Harry continued. "Look: Maybe it just seems like a bigger deal than it is. Don't see it as a problem, but as an opportunity. Your parents are both smart and educated people. I'm sure they won't take the news too hard. As for school... I really don't think it'll be a big deal. The headmistress couldn't care less about your sexual identity after everything we've been through and as for everyone else... Yeah, they might say stuff and give you a hard time, so what? It's not like you've never dealt with that at Hogwarts before. What I'm trying to say is: Don't make your decision based on what other people might think. Base it on what you want."

"I want... I just… I wanna be a normal guy Harry..." Hermione sighed and rested her head in her hands. "But... you know, what I really want is to always have been a guy. I wish I could hex everyone and no one would remember the old me. Am I making any sense here?..."

Hermione sighed and stared at the big flat screen TV hanging from the wall.

"Why don't we take you to St. Mungos and see what the healers say? No matter how uncommon, you can't be the only magical person who's ever gone through something like this and I'm sure you'll feel a heck of a lot better having more information."

"Really? You'd go with me?", Hermione asked incredulously.

"Of course! Come on, let's go!" Harry said as he got up.

"What, right now?", she asked looking sort of queasy.

"Yep, right now. Come on. It won't be a big deal. Besides everything you tell the healer is confidential, so no harm, right?"

Hermione thought about it for a second, trying to find an excuse not to go but then agreed, knowing he was right. It would make her feel better to know what she was dealing with.

Harry turned off the lights, double checked all windows and doors and set up a few protective charms, then they stepped out of his home and disapparated.