Hey guys! I must apologize in advance because this chapter is quite short. BUT...it's a blast to the present! (Gasp) Just something random I thought of that I typed up really quick during class. I really wish I could update more or get moving with the actual "past" plot, but for now this may better explain what happened to Raven later on ;) Since I wrote it on a whim though I'm not sure if it turned out as well as the others.
But oh well! Hope you like this snippet. Also note how "present" chapters also change their tense. Yep! Thanks so much for the support as always.
Lights are still flickering in and out of my vision, and with each one seems to flash another memory of the girl who once existed. The faint images of her of her warm, amethyst eyes hardly show any resemblance to the cold, blinding white pupils staring down at me now. No signs of hesitation. And most definitely no signs of love.
Is this how you felt, Raven? I want to ask her. It's hopeless, though, since her black boot is still pinning my neck to the ground just enough not to break it. Even so, it's amazing how many last thoughts your mind can conjure up within seconds of death – which I can already feel approaching even before she finishes uttering her spell.
Did it hurt this much, Raven?
The fingers of my right hand are losing feeling around a small, textured disc. Once upon a time, someone warm and caring, someone who would've given everything for me, had put it together. I've been holding onto it since the beginning of this battle, before the Teen Titans fell at her hands. And we're all going to die.
Because…I still can't use it.
At last, the muscles in my hand become numb enough so that I can't even press into the grenade if I wanted to. It's against all logic, and completely opposite of what any good leader should do. I know that on a regular day, I would've declared that whether the enemy was a former Titan or not, the team needed to be the priority. Especially if they were dying. I can even hear Raven – if Slade hadn't destroyed everything that made her Raven – telling me to have some common sense. 'Don't you remember how pathetic we were when we hesitated around Terra?' she'd say. 'Terra wasn't hesitating when she wrecked the whole city. And we're to blame. One lousy person isn't worth an entire population of innocents.'
But what if you're in love with that one, lousy person?
Well, not that it matters at this point. My head's feeling kind of fuzzy…at least the blurred image of her face kind of resembles how she used to look like…in a way, she's the last thing I'll ever see…not too bad of a death, actually… My fingers loosen as they fall away from the edges of the grenade.
Her voice still drifts from one of my distant memories. 'But at the same time, stupid emotions like love can make you stupid, too. Whole countries fall because of one person, since anyone in love can be the biggest idiot in the world…' We were laughing then, when she told me that. Hiding her inner torment so perfectly like always. I feel myself smile even as I hear her incantation in the crushing reality.
"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."
…Yep, I'm an idiot. The grenade rests forever-intact in my palm.
It's weird how her voice seems to be growing softer, like how it used to be. I must have died already, if I think her cold, demented voice of the present actually sounds gentle. Especially since I see nothing but blinding white filling my vision.
Suddenly, I breathe. I'm choking, gasping for air – but I can breathe. The boot has loosened its grip against my neck. My hearing becomes sharper and not so much of a hollow ring.
It's the incantation that I heard. She'd slowed it down at the last minute, and the white light is the spell that she'd inexplicably held back. I hear another voice - deep, vile, and all-too-familiar. "Finish it!" he demands, probably from some hidden corner where he commands her like a puppet.
I look back up and meet her eyes. Her eyes. The brilliant shades of violet and amethyst, glistening beneath her shadowy hood. It brings a flood of emotions that surges through my body, but shock strangely overpowers the rest.
It's Raven, but she's barely there. Something has pulled her back temporarily, just enough to make her disoriented about her surroundings. "That?" She points unsteadily in the general direction of my right hand, where the grenade lies in plain view. "What's…that?"
My chest feels impaled, even though I haven't seen her in what feels like years. Just hearing her distorted, crackly voice questioning her own gift makes me certain that I'll break Slade's neck myself the next time I get the chance.
I'm wheezing as I answer, but I force a smile as I look up into her contorted face. Now that I'm conscious again, I can finally recall the rest of that little conversation about love and idiots. But right before I can reply, Raven's eyes glaze over in the petrifying way they've done since the start of her apprenticeship. Her arm extends, crackling with black energy that sears like lightning, and suddenly I'm staring Death in the eye once again.
You can never stop being an idiot once love hits you. It'll always be there. But that's okay. Because the world prefers the idiots. I was supposed to recite her when I replied.