Hi, I revised something. Since numerous times I'm calling upon different voices in Sasuke's head, I've decided upon this:
This will be Sasuke's thinking.
This will be Jeffrey's.
This will be Itachi.
I hope I don't add people, because I don't believe I have any more choices for differentiating who is talking. And it would just make Sasuke all the more creepy.
-
School the next day was a complete drag, as Shikamaru put it, and Naruto didn't even pay attention. Hell, even Sasuke was a bit distracted. They wanted to play with their newfound friend again.
Recess was the only escape from the maddening schoolhouse—Naruto didn't dare try to skip for fear he'd be told to stay after class—and even recess was a bit of a downer because Sasuke and Naruto hadn't quite explored if they truly were friends or enemies yet. Frenemies, maybe?
Pretend you're a frenemy, actually be his friend, and kill him! Jeffrey suggested. Sasuke scratched his ear. Good God, he thought, no one is talking to me inside my head! I am Sasuke, and there is no one inside my head! Besides, even there was, it wouldn't sound as annoying as Jeffrey.
Don't judge people by appearances or preconceptions, said a voice.
Gah!
Naruto was also unsure where they stood. Well, physically, they stood facing each other a few feet away by the slide.
"Uh, hi, Sasuke," Naruto muttered, looking away.
Sasuke bit his lip. What should he do? If they became friends, it would be dangerous. He really didn't want Naruto to die because of him.
Does that worry make him close to me? Sasuke thought.
Maybe you could—
Oh, just shut up!
Hey, be polite, Sasuke. You asked a question.
Yeah, but, wait a second. Why the hell am I even talking to you? You killed my—our—clan.
(This is a spoiler for Chapter 400-ish. If you haven't read, don't read this small portion of writing. I didn't write any of these kinds of spoilers elsewhere in this chapter and I will warn you if I do. Actually, I did make one other, but it's not that bad.)
TheboyiactuallyloveandamwillingtodietoprotectfromDanzoand theeldersandiscompletelyoblivioustohowireallyfeel says what?
What?
Heh. I still got it.
"Hey, idiot," Sasuke said, pulling a hand through his hair. "I saw you in class. Looked so dumb, drooling on your quiz."
"We had a quiz?!" Naruto exclaimed, shocked. Then he coughed. "Uh, I mean, yeah, but I was thinking." Then he got a bit angry. "Hey, who's calling who an idiot, idiot?"
"That's the best comeback you can think of?"
"How about this?" Naruto turned, pulled down his pants, and mooned Sasuke.
He didn't really know why he did it. Maybe it was because he truly didn't like Sasuke. Maybe it was because he was unsure about how friends acted, though he was sure some friends had a love-hate relationship, and that could be the only thing they had going for them. Or maybe his butt was just too hot and needed a breeze.
Either way, Sasuke decided to be the bigger man and stormed away. You wanted him to do something like that, Sasuke thought. To distance him.
Or maybe you're gay.
Was that Itachi or Jeffrey?
Both.
-
After school, the two met up with Gaara at the playground. But they weren't in an especially happy mood, rather, a dark storm cloud seemed to follow them. Sasuke wouldn't look at Naruto, and vice versa.
"What's wrong?" Gaara asked, hoping it would stop so they could play, for they only had two hours.
"Naruto's a bitch," Sasuke explained.
Gaara smiled. "But if he is, he was one yesterday, so why are you acting like this?"
Suddenly, a long moan was let from behind the bunch, and they swiftly turned around to see a man crying on the bench. He didn't look hurt.
"Ugh," Sasuke said, wrinkling a nose. "Green spandex? What horrible fashion sense. He should totally get a make-over."
Yep, he's gay.
Shut up!
"What's wrong with him, though?" Gaara asked.
Naruto yawned. "I'll go see." He walked up to the man, who had slung his arm over his eyes, crying into it.
"Uh, sir," Naruto asked him. "What's wrong?"
"My hair," he sobbed. "is ruined!"
"Why?"
"I got ice cream all over my mane."
Indeed, a long trail of gooey dried chocolate ice cream coated the man's mullet. Naruto wasn't sure he wanted to know just how that happened.
"Uh, why don't you just go to the barber or something?"
"It's a holiday!"
"What? A holiday for barbers?"
"Yes! It's national Go Find More Hairstyles To Master day!"
"Ok," Naruto said, frowning. "Do you want us to help, maybe?" Sasuke and Gaara came up behind him, looking over his shoulder at the man.
The arm that was slung over his face lifted, and the man seemed instantly happy. "You would? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! My name is Might Guy. Call me Guy."
The three stared for a long moment at the man's face.
"If we do, you have to shave those monster eyebrows," Sasuke said blankly.
"I can't make any promises."
-
So with that, Sasuke raced home to find some scissors, and Gaara found a cloth to use to make sure the hair didn't get on Guy's nice green spandex. Naruto appointed himself as the cutter.
"What?" Sasuke said upon returning, dropping three different scissors to the ground. "He'll have no hair left by the time you finish!"
"Pfft, watch," Naruto said, taking one, and cutting into the man's hair. He cut a clean line, but when the hair fell away, it was ragged and unsightly.
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, thought Guy.
"You're doing it all wrong," Gaara said, taking another pair of scissors and slicing delicately around the man's ear. All was well until Guy let out a help, and blood began to trickle from a small cut.
"Gaara!" Sasuke and Naruto cried, prying him away from Guy.
"You'll kill him," Sasuke muttered.
Gaara clenched his fists and began to cry.
"No, that's not nice!" Guy insisted, turning around from sitting on the ground and hugging the boy. "You should be nicer! I'm fine, I'm a ninja!"
At that, Gaara brightened.
"Sorry, Gaara," Naruto said, "That Sasuke's a—"
Naruto received a glare from Sasuke.
"A donkey," Naruto revised.
Like that's any better, Sasuke thought.
Silence.
Hey, nobody answered!
I will eat your heart.
Gah! Itachi! Sasuke thought.
(Slight spoiler, nothing dramatic) Nah, I'm kidding, foolish Lil' Bro. All I want is your eyes.
What?
Nothing.
"Well, I've got to be the best at hair," Sasuke volunteered. "Because I have the best hairstyle here."
You wish.
Ignoring the voice, Sasuke began to cut with the third scissor. He cleanly cut along the length, making sure not to harm Guy. He could feel the eyes of Naruto and Gaara watching.
Finally, he was done. He stood the bib-like cloth off from around Guy's neck and said, "Voila!"
Guy stood, and the three stared at his hairstyle.
"That sucks," Naruto muttered.
"I could have done better," Gaara whispered.
"Maybe I should redo it," Sasuke said.
Gah, my eyes, my beautiful, crazy eyes!
I'm too cool to be seeing this!
Shut up, you're not even real.
How do you know I'm not using a genjutsu to feed these thoughts into you?
Sasuke subtly looked over his shoulder and across the playground.
Ku, ku, ku. Made you look!
Gaara took out a mirror Sasuke had brought and held it up to Guy's face.
"Ah! I love it!" Guy cried, and I mean literally cried, as he saw his new bowl-cut hairstyle. "It's perfect!"
He ran off.
"Wow, so much for thank you," Naruto muttered.
"You don't think anyone would try to copy the hairstyle, right?" Sasuke asked. "Because that thing's hideous."
"Are you kidding?" Naruto laughed. "If somebody tries to copy that, then I'm a Hokage's son."
Sasuke looked over at Naruto. "Hey, we didn't fight too much, for once."
"Yeah," Naruto said, grinning. They looked at each other a moment, and Naruto said, "Hey, so, are we friends, or what?"
Sasuke sighed. "Well, yeah, I guess."
Gaara began to cry.
"You're our friend too!" Naruto said quickly.
"I know," Gaara sobbed. "Guy's emotional level just leaked out a bit, I guess."
-
Okay, I hope you enjoyed this. No, I'm not Jeffrey. I'm the writer, Lukestur. Anyway, I have, like, five more adventures to go, and I can only think of two currently, and I don't have a really good imagination, so if you want, you can send me some ideas of yours. I do need help. This one was actually kind of crappy, but I couldn't think of much else cuz the other two have to come later.
And, also, I'm not quite certain how many spoilers I've let out. Nothing bad, I don't think. From now on, I'll warn you. But things like Naruto saying, "Yeah, right, and I'm a Hokage's son!" and stuff like that I don't really count. No one has to believe that, because it really is a rumor…mostly. I think it's true.
See you next time!