I feel pretty, oh so pretty...
I feel pretty, and witty, and...
Yeah, yeah, gay.
We know you know, Brother. But you were the one to say "gay", not us.
Fine, let's sing another song. This is the song that doesn't end...
Oh, God, no!
It goes on and on my friend...
Sasuke continued to sing to himself in his head as the host of this Friendship Brawl explained the rules of the hairstyling competition.
"You will be given the model of a head; a styrofoam model, mind you..."
Some people started singing it...
"And you will have an hour to..."
Not knowing what it was...
"Whoever has the best hairstyle..."
And they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song--
Why does God hate me? What did I ever do? Oh, yeah...
Gah! My ears! They're on fire! They're bubbling with intense heat and pain! Gah! The pain!
"Wins!"
Sasuke looked up. On the long table there were many styling supplies, like scissors, gel, spray bottles, and things of that sort. There were also two identical heads of hair, two long, black-haired models.
Sasuke looked at his and knew he'd be the winner.
Naruto looked at his own and started to sweat, without the same confidence. But he needed to win, or he'd be behind. And that was something that could not happen. But something occured to him suddenly. He grinned devilishly at his clever plot.
They started immediately into their task. Sasuke examined his subject with a gentle seriousness as Naruto barely second glanced his. Sasuke smirked at his amateur demeanor.
What makes you think you'll be so good? Remember Guy?
Yes, Sasuke! Let me do it! I was the top stylist among the war heroes of Nam!
Sasuke ignored them and surveyed the dark, silky hair. It looked so much like his mother's....
Oh, don't think about that. You'll get sentimental, then choked up...
She never did finish her story about how she met Dad...sob...
Oh, so sweet!
They met at a bar. Had a drink, took a cab, had a one-night stand, wound up with me, got married. Happy?
Liar!
Didn't you ever notice how Dad is so much older than Mom?
But they didn't regret you, right? You became an amazing shinobi!
No...but she might have said something like that as I brought down the sword...
Gah! Stop!
Gaara lied in the grass, head in hands, watching an ant hill. So many ants. So many little mounds of dirt to make the castle home thing. Oops, crushed an ant. Oops, another. Oops, another. Oops...ten...oops...fifty...oops...heehee...wait, what? They're...they're all over me...no...get off...gaaaaaah!
As Gaara fought for his life against the tiny menaces, Naruto was making progress. He cut this way and that, completely satisfying his urge to make it as he'd envisioned. He'd have to win now. His plan was working...
The Kazekage stared at his creature of hair. "The hell is that? It looks horrible...what is he thinking...?"
Temari tapped his shoulder. "Would you like some Red Bull, Father?" She asked. The Red Bull smelled horribly and a light explosion sounded within.
"Uh, no thanks," said the man, looking back hesitantly.
Finally, the two boys were done. They covered them with sheets, to unveil when Gaara was properly debugged and checked over by the school nurse.
When the bleeding had stopped, Gaara sat before his friends, awaiting their creations. He hoped Naruto had done well, because he needed a point more than anything.
One...two...three!
The sheets were taken off simultaneously by the host, and both heads were showed to Gaara in one go. He had to take in two tragedies at once.
Sasuke's hair...man, Sasuke's hair. It turned out exactly like Guy's hair. It was so atrocious Gaara felt his retinas melt and give off a mild burning sensation.
But, Naruto's hair was equally horrible. It was jagged and horrible-looking, for he'd gone for a hairstyle that wasn't for silky dark-haired people. But it was obvious immediately that he'd tried to model it after Gaara. He'd tried to make the hair jagged and uneven, sticking up at odd angles using gel, to look like Gaara.
His plan had obviously and horribly failed, as Sasuke realized. He didn't stand a chance. Even against Guy's hair.
But Gaara didn't seem to think so. He started to cry immediately. He did that a lot lately, it seemed.
"You...you...made it...after...me..." his sniffles and sobs choked up his words.
Sneaky little fuck, thought Sasuke.
Just like Father.
God, I hope I don't have to listen to you for the rest of eternity...
Just think, at the end, there will be...cake.
This was a triumph! I'm making a note here, HUGE SUCCESS!
Oh my God, you started him off. Thanks a lot, Itachi.
You're welcome. Now, are you gonna eat that cake?
Where?!
Haha, there is no cake!
You bastard.
And, Naruto miraculously won the next point, giving him two points and Sasuke still at three, much to his dismay.
That was a sucky ending.
How about an Itachi strip-tease?
Ok!
No! The only one who'll see it is me!
You know you love it.
--
Just so that you know, the 'cake' reference was from a game, Portal--If you know a gamer boy, you'll know it. Or if you are a gamer boy you'll know. I personally don't play it, but my brother does, and I heard the Portal Song--which is "Still Alive" by the way, and fell in love with it.
Look at me still talking when theres science to do...
Sorry, that was a line from the song. Bye!
Oh, wait. I also used that "I Feel Pretty" song and "The Song That Doesn't End" or, "The Song That Never Ends" or something to that effect...
Ok, bye!