I reread this entire series, and I loved it. It's my best story ever. I can't believe I thought up the whole Sasuke-has-voices-in-his-head thing. It was ingenius!

So I decided to make a bonus chapter. If you hate me for it, oh well.

By the way, when I reread, I caught an embarrassing error on my part. I wrote this:

Naruto wiped an escaped tear and flung his arms around Gaara, clinging to him for dear life. "Remember us," he whimpered.

Sasuke gulped at Naruto's cute nature.

Gaara started to cry as well. "Never," he promised, hugging back. "Don't forget me either!"

Gah! Never remember them? Damn! I meant to have Naruto say "Never forget us," instead!

Well, whatever. There's nothing I can do.

Also, to all my reviewers--I reread the reviews and I was so happy! You were so nice! Thank you! And I'm sorry I never replied to you. That was kinda rude. I didn't think I should do that...whatever. And to future reviewers, thank you.

So, without further adu, let's rejoin the madness, one last time!

--

Naruto sighed happily, staring out the Hokage's main room window. The six Hokage heads stared back at him. They were beautiful. Well, kind of. They got Naruto's nose wrong.

He was 26 years old, and feeling great. He had a lovely family, and one of his closest friends was coming to visit for the first time in over a year. He couldn't wait to show off, because his friend had been a Kage for a number of years and he had only just obtained the position.

Suddenly, a brown-haired girl with freckles littering her face burst in, huffing like she'd just run a marathon. She was Naruto's personal assisstant, named Yiori.

Naruto swiveled around, anxious. Was the village in danger? Was there some top-secret mission for him to embark on? Was this his first chance to prove himself worthy of the Hokage name?

"Lord Hokage, sir," she panted heavily. "Urgent news! You have a visitor!"

Naruto relaxed, smiling. "The Kazekage?"

"Uh, no...it's...erm..."

Naruto tilted his head in inquisition.

"A...very angry...spouse of yours..."

Naruto's eyes widened impossibly. "Yiori," he murmured, starting to crouch down behind the desk. "I just became Hokage. I'm too young to die."

"Where is he?" Sasuke yelled, and the noise echoed throughout the halls of the great building.

Naruto yelped and started to tug at the practically glued-in windows.

Yiori gasped with surprise as a tall Uchiha roughly shoved her aside, while still holding an infant. That was the surprising extent of his ability.

Naruto unwillingly abandoned his quest for freedom and smiled tentatively. "Um...hello...honey..."

Sasuke grinned menacingly. "Well, hello, Mr. Hokage. And how are you today?"

Naruto trembled slightly. "I-I'm pretty good."

"Well, I know you must be working very hard," murmured Sasuke, starting to walk in. Other than his clothes and obvious adulthood, Sasuke had remained the same as he had when he was younger, even maintaining the same hairstyle. "So hard, in fact, that you can't even come home often. Am I right?"

Naruto nodded.

Sasuke calmed down slightly and held out the toddler he'd had wrapped under his arm recklessly, as he giggled captivatingly.

"You don't have enough time for this adorable tyke?" Sasuke murmured, wiggling the boy slightly.

The boy himself had bushy blond hair but contrasting dark eyes. Snot was dripping down out of one nostral, but this did not subtract from the impossible cuteness. He wore blue baby pajamas though it was noon, and right above the heart area there was a tiny Uchiha emblem.

The advances of modern science. To have two gay people make a baby...well then.

Damn. And I was so sure that the Uchiha clan would die. Do I have to go on another rampage?

If you're lucky, the baby will turn gay.

Who will he marry? Your mom?

That was cruel.

Hey, guys, will you shut up? I'm trying to make Naruto envious of my time with little SasuNaru. (Yes, I named the baby SasuNaru!)

No one could be envious of that ball of drool. Ah, ball of drool? I kill myself!

If only...

Naruto sighed and looked down in shame. "I'm sorry, Sasu-chan," Naruto said, calling Sasuke by his favorite petname--which, unbeknownst to him, made Sasuke even angrier because he didn't like it in public--as he took the boy from him and held him tightly. "The excitement of being Hokage just got me behind schedule, is all. I'll be back home regularly by next week!"

"You better," Sasuke warned, trying to seem menacing, and holding onto any masculinity he had left in him. Though he was very muscular, he preferred to be the feminine figure, though he could be forceful at times.

And he prefers being the one on top, if you know what I mean.

Oh, you go, girl!

I will slaughter your nads off. Oh, wait, you don't have any!

Ugh, you must stop, Sasuke. Not in front of the baby! Do you know much you could damage him anymore than having him with Naruto?

How much more damaged can a baby become?

Well, what if he'd had him with Orochimaru? I mean, how would he look--

Please, go no further.

Naruto gently rocked the giggling baby in his arms. "You know," he said, "Gaara's coming for a visit."

Sasuke's eyes widened. "R-really?" he stuttered. "When?"

"Erm...a few...a few hours."

Sasuke's eyes awakened their Sharingan in rage. "And you never told me?" he growled menacingly.

Naruto backed up. "Hey, Sasuke, please," he whimpered.

Sasuke took a step forward. "Now I don't even have time to bake him my special pumpernickel surprise!"

"I have a baby in my arms," Naruto pleaded.

"Yiori!" Sasuke cried. The very nervous teenage assisstant was back in an instant. "Take the baby," Sasuke commanded.

She immediately, nervously, took the baby from Lord Hokage's arms.

"Please," Naruto whispered pathetically, "Don't leave me."

Yiori was about to assure him it was her job to stay when she caught Sasuke's gleaming eye, full of unadultered ferocity.

She was more afraid of Sasuke than her Hokage, which was apparent when she disobeyed an order and high-tailed it out of there.

After the worst clobbering of Naruto's life, Sasuke quickly was able to rearrange the room to have it look as if nothing had happened.

Oh, yeah, baby, Itachi chuckled. Senseless violence. Perfect.

That was enough to last me the weekend, but what of next week, Sasuke?

Orochimaru?

For once, I'm proud of my little brother.

I wish I could say that. My brother turned into an actor.

And...?

He was in High School Musical.

I'm so sorry.

Sasuke straightened out his clothes and unlocked the door. "I'll see you in a few hours," he said chipperly.

Naruto just let out a strangled cry in response.

--

"Gaara!"

"Naruto!"

The two embraced as they'd never hugged before. The duo hadn't seen each other in over a year, though they'd been seperate for longer before.

"So, you're Hokage," The Kazekage smiled.

"Yep," Naruto proudly replied as they sat at the two couches in a private conference room.

"Finally grew some balls, eh?" Gaara teased.

"Now all we're waiting on is a dick," said a new voice.

Gaara immediately looked over his shoulder to see the new arrival.

Sasuke.

Gaara grinned. "Hey, it's Lord Hokage's wife. Doesn't she just look stunning?"

"Aha, ha, ha," Sasuke sarcastically spat. He entered the room and shut the door behind him, to rid them of any prying eyes. This was a private reunion.

Sasuke sat beside Naruto with SasuNaru on his lap before introducing him to Gaara.

"He's got your eyes," Gaara complimented to Sasuke.

"He's got Naruto's ass," he replied, rather distastefully.

Naruto shuffled his feet, unsure of what to say to that.

"So, we're Kage," Gaara sighed, leaning back against the couch. "Man, it seems like yesterday we were kids. Then again, it might as well have been--I haven't slept since!"

They allowed a laugh at the private joke.

"Man, I feel like my father," Gaara said disgustedly.

"But you're not," Naruto assured.

Gaara smiled wryly. "I sure hope not." He stared into SasuNaru's eyes. SasuNaru stared back, unwavering and full of curiosity.

"I can't wait to have one of my own," he whispered.

"Don't worry, you will, eventually." Sasuke grinned.

"No, not eventually. Five months and two weeks."

Naruto dramatically picked up his coffee, drank half of it, then spit it out and onto the coffee table for affect.

"Really?" he sputtered as Sasuke hit him over the head with an open palm.

Gaara nodded shyly. "Really."

Hey, at least he got a girl.

That makes one of us...

Hey! I've had girls!

Just because you castrated Kisame--

Will you shut up?

Why don't you shut up?

Because I'm not a jerk-off.

Oh, no, you didn't!
Oh, yes, she did!

"So," Naruto said slyly, "Who's the giiiiiiirl?"

"Yes, do tell," Sasuke gossiped.

Gaara coughed into a hand. "Er, nobody..."

"Wow," Naruto chuckled, "You sound like half of America's teenage fathers!"

Sasuke wacked him again. Naruto was used to it.

"Her name's Tahi Kuwabara."

Naruto and Sasuke nodded for him to continue.

"We got married, and I do love her, but..."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "What? You have some other girlfriend?"

"No," Gaara said stubbornly. "It's an...obsession."

"Gambling?" Naruto suggested.

"Drugs?" Sasuke asked.

Alcohol?

Selling, trafficking, and illegally buying special, top-class, Chinese-made mallard duck models that quack when you sing "Right Na-Na-Na" by Akon or "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White T's to them?

"No," Gaara shook his head. "It's...Twilight."

Sasuke nearly dropped poor SasuNaru while Naruto jumped for joy.

"You read it?" Naruto gushed.

"Yeah! And saw the movie!"

"The movie sucked!"

"God, I know, but the book's awesome!"

"Who's your favorite character?"

"Jasper Cullen, of course! And Jacob."

"Dude, Aro's the coolest! And Marcus is so nonchalant, it's great!"

Sasuke covered his ears while SasuNaru played with a pillow of one of the couches. "Oh, God," he whimpered. "Twilighters. Happy place, happy place..."

I had a fantasy that Edward wanted me as a boyfriend because he got tired of Bella's incapability of doing absolutely anything right. No, doing anything at all without tripping over herself...

God, don't tell me you read those books?

And you didn't?

Well, yeah. But I liked Mike Newton best. Mmm...

Gaara and Naruto finally calmed down. "So, what you're telling me is," Naruto said, "that you can't have a fully functioning relationship because Twilight is in the way?"

Gaara nodded.

Sasuke started to giggle uncontrollably. "You gotta get around Twilight," he advised between chuckles. "I mean, I had to get over Naruto's ED..."

And it was Naruto's turn to clobber Sasuke, while mindfully avoiding the oblivious SasuNaru.

"Yeah, I will," Gaara agreed. "She's a great gal."

Naruto smiled. Sasuke smiled. SasuNaru drooled.

"So, life," Naruto said. "Such a strange thing, ain't it?"

"Sure is," Gaara nodded. "I mean, one day Sasuke's a man, the next a woman..."

"Hey," Sasuke growled. "I take offense to that."

"Being a woman isn't a bad thing!" Naruto objected, frowning.

"Especially if you're Sasuke," Gaara chuckled.

"You're no funnier than you ever were," Sasuke murmured.

"I guess, then, we haven't changed much?" Naruto said.

"Nope." Sasuke grinned.

Except Sasuke's gayer than ever. But was he ever not?

And I'm dead. But, hey, what can you do?

"Let's keep it that way," Naruto decided.

"Definitely," Gaara said. "Cuz, I mean, the next time we meet up, Sasuke could be manly, and who the hell wants that?"

"Yeah, and you could look less like an insane panda," Sasuke spat, "and more like a somewhat-cute koala...that...likes to sell non-refundable, unwarranted models of ducks in various, suggestive positions for ridiculously high prices, which have to be paid in the form of curiously unnatural door knobs."

"And I could be smart," Naruto gasped.

"That's impossible," Sasuke stated.

And so went their stupid little reunion, destined to be repeated again and again. SasuNaru grew up and eventually married the illegitimate daughter of Gaara and Tahi, while suffering from mild schizophrenia resulting from Sasuke's messed-up genes, and inherited Gaara's unconstitutional business of the shooting, stuffing, and selling of innocent mallards.

Gaara became a Twilight fanatic and eventually divorced with Tahi in order to chase his far-off, impossible dream of marrying Rosalie Cullen--which, as you might assume, did not turn out fruitful. I mean, come on, Rosalie's a bitch. He died quietly on Theodore Roosevelt's 157th birthday after a huge drinking party at the age of seventy-three.

Naruto and Sasuke's relationship thrived until death. Naruto was Hokage and eventually was relieved of the title when it was passed to Konohamaru, which wasn't the best idea ever because he was still a Chunin at the time, and many horrible things ensued because of Naruto's poor decision. He died of insane boredom after watching I Love Lucy reruns for, interestingly enough, the seventy-third time. He was seventy-five.

Sasuke was the last to go. His ending was abrupt and painless, at the age of eighty-two. Well, painless physically, but mentally...

Why do you walk so slowly, you old coot?

I'm not getting any younger! I want to watch my Everybody Loves Raymond before my bowels riot!

Sasuke, tiredly, hobbled over to the television set in his one-bedroom apartment. Many had tried talking him out of buying such a small place with the money he had from being the Hokage's husband--or rather, wife--but he'd decided he really didn't want to live the high life. Anyway, he would be easier to find if he lived in a large house--and those wildlife conservationists were really very ambitious...

Sasuke heavily sat in the lumpy sofa and, slowly, lifted the TV remote to change the channel from Oprah. Suddenly, the door rang.

Nooo~! Who cares? You'll die before you get to the door, Sas...hey, what was your name again?

Wah! I can't see my hand! I can't see my--hey, wait, do I have a hand?

I don't remember. Do you, Sasuke? Hey, I remembered it!

Let me get the damn door...people I forget the names of.

Hey, Jeff, I was wondering...hey, Jeff?

Snore....

I think Jeffrey died! No, my love!

Relax, he's sleeping.

*Sniff* A nap that they never wake up from...

Sasuke slowly turned the bothersome doorknob and swung the door open to reveal a pink-haired senior lady wearing make-up and an awfully revealing dress.

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura purred, taking Sasuke's hands. "I've wanted you for so long. I know you're gay, but...take me!"

Sasuke immediately died of heart failure, resulting from the pure horror of the prospect of sleeping with a girl, especially Sakura.