Disclaimer: I don't own The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

A/N: Part of last chapter was supposed to be a satire of psychiatry.

I find Psychiatrists annoying for a number of reasons. Mainly because I've always got the impression that they like diagnosing people with various disorders and prescribing medicine, which is creepy.

Anyway... I like to satirize various aspects of western culture in stuff I write. So, in that last chapter, Riff Raff was a caricature of a doctor. The fictional sort of doctor who has fun inventing names for disorders, yet doesn't really care about the patients.

Columbia is bipolar in this story. A 'bright episode' is what Riff Raff calls an episode of hypomania. I wrote all of A Sci-Fi Fan's Adventure while like that. A 'dark episode' would be Riff's name for depression.

Friday, March/?/1974

Dear Diary,

Thankfully, today was normal.

Well… normal by our standards.

I got up at about 9, like I often do. Then I got dressed. For breakfast, Magenta made scrambled eggs. They were revolting. That makes sense, of course. Scrambled eggs are always horrid.

Since the library takes a week to dust, Mags was dusting the books and their shelves this morning.

"Hello, Columbia," she said, in monotone somewhat like her brother's voice. I hoped she wasn't annoyed at me over something.

"Hey," I muttered.

"My brother said that Eddie is rather worried about you. This proves he likes you, I think," Magenta told me.

"I hope he likes me. I, er, I'm pretty sure I like him," I replied awkwardly.

"Maybe you should talk to him more, then."

"Well, I would talk to him more if I knew where he was all day!" I said, pouting pettily.

She raised an eyebrow. "Have you ever gone looking for him? There are only so many places a person can hide around here."

It took me a moment to understand. Once I did, I grinned madly. "You mean look for him on the castle cameras?"

Smiling, she nodded. "Of course. Only the bathrooms don't have cameras. After you've observed his routine for a few days you could intentionally run into him."

"A few days?"

Mags nodded. "Yes."

"Are you sure I shouldn't just go looking for him right now?" I asked.

At that, she threw the feather duster at me. "Why do you always ask me about relationships? I've only dated one person my entire life! I'll never be able to answer half the questions you ask!"

"Sorry…"

"Don't bother being sorry. Just try not to be too annoying," Magenta replied with a dramatic sigh.

I handed the duster back to her and she went back to dusting the shelves. After a few minutes of awkward silence, I left the room.

Why do I ask her about relationships? It's because I look up to her, I suppose. Like an older sister…

So, after that, I went back to our room. I needed to pick out tomorrow's outfit. That ended up being an ensemble that included (amongst other things): glittery stockings, my usual tap-shoes, and a sequined vest. It was perfectly cheerful.

Then it was lunchtime.

Eddie, Magenta, and I all ate together. Mags made pasta for lunch. It's funny, her newfound obsession with such a random food. We sat at the kitchen table, since it was only the three of us.

For some reason, I decided to ask Magenta about her relationship with her brother. I suppose I wanted to know how a lasting relationship begins.

"When was your first kiss?" I asked her.

She raised an eyebrow. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious."

"Well, since there's no real point to not telling you… I was 8 and Riff was 10. It was more of a joke than anything. Just a girl and her dear brother being silly one day. We never actually got into a serious relationship until I was 16 years old. That's the legal age on our home planet of Transsexual," she explained with a shrug.

"You didn't know already?" I asked, giggling.

"Nah. Nobody tells me anything, I suppose," he replied unhappily.

Mags rolled her eyes. "Well, it's not like it matters, is it?"

Eddie chuckled nervously. "Well, people around here aren't usually into that…"

"It doesn't matter. People on our planet are too 'into that'. That's one reason we're here," Magenta replied simply.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"We're here to study earthlings. One of the reasons for this is that we need some variation in our genetics. Only a few families were immune to a certain plague that swept our planet a few generations ago. So, those few families- including the royal family and mine- survived. That means much fewer people to date or marry. We're supposed to see if earthlings and our people can interbreed. Or if this planet can help in any other way. Of course, the Master has gotten a bit distracted."

"You never told me that!" I said, quite surprised by it all.

"Well, you never asked."

Once we'd all finished lunch, I went to the ballroom to practice tap dancing. Though I didn't realize it at first, someone had followed me.

"You're pretty good."

The sound of Eddie's voice startled me. In fact, it startled me so much that I fell over.

"Sorry," I muttered, as I stood up and brushed dust off my clothes.

He smiled kindly. "Why should you be sorry?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. It just seemed like the polite thing to say."

"Oh."

The two of us stood there in awkward silence for a moment. That's when I began to think rather foolish things. For some reason, Eddie reminded me of a teddy bear. He just seems so perfectly kind, strangely lovable. The kind of person I hadn't had the luck to meet before, yet somehow seems extremely familiar. If his arms were around me, everything would be-

"Columbia? Did you hear me?"

"Hmm?"

"I was just asking if you'd like to go to the cinema tomorrow night. I dunno exactly what they're playing, but I know that there's a grindhouse nearby that shows B-grade pictures. Westerns and Sci-Fi."

He was asking me on a date. Oh God, I wanted to go with him… but I was too scared. What would happen if I left?

"I really wish I could. I'm so sorry. But I can't leave the castle."

Though I hadn't actually attempted to escape, I had a feeling that the punishment would be severe. It scared me… the thought of what Frank might do and the idea of the outside world.

"Oh." Eddie looked rather disappointed.

"I'm really sorry," I said quietly.

After what felt like hours of awkward silence, Magenta entered the room.

"The Master is looking for you, Columbia," she told me.

"Goodbye," I whispered.

I doubt Eddie actually heard me.

So, Magenta led me to Frank's room. She left me there… and I did what I usually do with Frankie. Once he'd sent me back to my room, I began to wonder what it would be like if I ran away from here. If I left the castle for good…

I forgot most of that when Mags called me to dinner.

After dinner I went back to my room and wrote this.

- Columbia (a groupie)

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