Disclaimer: I don't own The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

A/N: I had a lot of fun 'designing' Magenta's garbled letter. There's actually a bit of a system to it, in fact. I typed what I wanted it to mean into Google Translate, translated it into German, and then translated it back into English word-by-word.

Also... a Guest Reviewer's idea of Columbia temporarily escaping the castle is interesting. Maybe Eddie could persuade her to run away with him, then when they both get brought back a bit of drama between them happens? (Columbia's obsession with Frank and general craziness might stop her from think of something like that on her own.)

Anyway, I'm grateful for all the ideas/feedback you give me.

Saturday, March/?/1974

Dear Diary,

Today was ordinary. It's funny how I say that! At first I think a day was perfectly normal, then I soon think of something that made it different from other days. Ah, well…

I woke up at 9 o'clock. That's practically the only thing that truly never changes day by day.

To my delight, Magenta had made waffles for breakfast. Waffles are a truly glorious food. Mags, being the wonderful cook she is, managed to cook them until they were perfectly crispy and just the right shade of golden brown. Not burned or undercooked at all. The waffles she cooked for breakfast were so magnificent that putting butter on them seems like sacrilege. It was a thousand times better than that vile abomination known as 'scrambled eggs'.

Next to the plate of that most glorious breakfast food was a note (typed on one of those futuristic-looking computers the Transylvanians have) from Magenta. I've copied it here:

Dear Miss Columbia,

At the day this day, at the it happening currently to be, I done old Castle-Spaceship in the library to clean. So, now will I the Room will mop up in to those parties usually will. Yes, the room, that we often call the ballroom. If you wish, myself to find were I there be!

You beloved Friend,

Magenta

She's never gotten the hang of writing in English. It's rather pathetic. I suspect that she literally translates the language spoken on Transsexual, Transylvania into English on that computer. Ah, well. By now I'm pretty good at deciphering her strange attempts at writing in English. I know she's currently in the ballroom.

So, the moment I finished breakfast, I went to find my friend in the ballroom. Indeed, she was currently mopping the floor. I stood in the doorway to avoid getting dirt all over the newly cleaned floor.

"Hiya!" I said brightly.

"I've got a surprise for you. It involves a leopard," Mags replied cryptically.

"What does that mean?" I asked, suddenly very worried.

I wouldn't be surprised if she'd bought a pet leopard or something equally deranged. Though we had a taxidermy one in the foyer, a living one was too much. Where do people get leopards, anyway?

"I have a movie for the three of us to watch. It stars Katharine Hepburn, Cary Grant, and a leopard. It's comedic and from the year 1938."

Ah, so no live leopard would be living here! I was very glad of this… but then I realized something.

"The three of us…?"

"Yes, Eddie will be at our movie night. I know he wished to take you on a date today, and that you can't leave the castle, so I decided to invite him to watch a film in our room," Magenta explained.

"Okay."

The idea of Eddie being in my mess of a room freaked me out. Having a guy 'invade' my 'territory' was gonna be weird, I thought. Very awkward, at least. Hopefully he'd be too focused on the movie to notice that picture of Frankie I'd hung on the wall.

So, when I went upstairs to find tomorrow's outfit, I also began to clean things up a bit. Not that there was much I could do… my ability to make a place a horrid mess very quickly is practically a talent.

Though I'm more talented at 'flashing' people, of course. Not that such a thing is actually useful- even compared to trashing a room in very little time.

Yeah, I'd pretty much given up on cleaning by lunchtime.

As we often do, we ate lunch in the kitchen. Today 'we' meant Magenta, Eddie, Riff, and I. Like anything involving Riff Raff, the fact that he ate lunch with us made everything awkward. Not to mention the fact that Magenta sat on his lap and they sort of… made out for a while. I have a feeling neither of them actually ate anything.

Poor Eddie is still a bit uncomfortable about the whole incest thing those two have going on…

"They're sibling and they're kissing like that… just why?" he whispered to me.

I shrugged. "At this point I never bother asking why when it comes to anything. It's much easier to just go along with it. "

"Right…"

"I'm rather jealous of them, you know," I muttered, blushing slightly.

Eddie's eyes widened in horror. "How could you be jealous of that sort of thing?"

"'Cause I've never been in an actual relationship. I've been a groupie since I ran away at age 16. Before that I was a sheltered little bitch… God, I wish they'd loved me. I was just a pretty thing for them to use then get bored of. It's a shock I didn't get pregnant or something! I mean… incest is technically illegal and everything. But at least they really love each other. Riff and Mags actually love each other."

Eddie stared at me with a ridiculous amount of pity in his brown, 'puppy-dog' eyes.

And then… he kissed me. Probably out of pity, I'd bet. Yet I couldn't help but forget everything in the whole world when his lips were pressed softly against mine for those few seconds. Yeah, the kiss was ridiculously sloppy. He probably hadn't even had a girlfriend before. But that only made it seem nicer. It probably meant more than all those meaningless affairs combined.

When Frank kisses me, it's because he likes to know that he has someone in his power. He adores the fact that people can't resist his charm.

I'm pretty sure Eddie kissed me because he actually likes me. Because it made me smile like a teenager on her first date.

Of course, I might be wrong. It might just be like all the others attempts at relationships. I couldn't help but worry after I'd wandered away to practice my tap dance routines.

After hours of dancing- just enough time to forget my troubles – Magenta walked into the ballroom. She wrinkled her nose when she looked down at the floor.

"Columbia! You scratched up the floor again. And I just fixed it up this morning."

For a second, Mags sounded more like my mother than my best friend. Well, not my actual mother… from the few things I can bring myself to remember I'd say she never scolded me over anything dance-related. That's practically the only thing I did that she approved of… I think…

"I think you should come upstairs now. We'll be starting the movie soon, and I left your boyfriend outside our room." She giggled a bit madly.

Indeed, Eddie stood right outside the room.

He seemed very nervous. It makes sense, of course. The illogical fear of entering a room inhabited by numerous people who are girls if you're a guy (and vice versa) is probably quite universal. Especially if you don't know them that well.

Thankfully, he seemed a bit less weirded out as time went by. By the time Mags had managed to get the TV to magically play the movie, with some kind of futuristic tech earthlings hadn't figured out yet, he seemed quite comfortable.

And so we watched the movie. It was bizarrely hilarious and all of us found it quite funny.

"Tri-doubly-weird!" Eddie suddenly said, halfway through the film.

I glanced over at him in confusion. "Hmm?"

"That's just a saying I made up. It means something is five times weirder than just plain old weird. And is this film is definitely five times weirder than weird," he explained with a shrug.

Magenta raised an eyebrow. "You're smarter than I thought, boy."

Eddie looked confused. I'm pretty sure he was trying to figure out if what she'd said was a compliment or an insult. It's sometimes hard to tell when she says stuff.

"Uh, thank you…?" he said, after a moment.

Then, we went back intently watching to the film.

It was quite funny, and we all laughed when the main character is wearing the gal's fluffy dressing gown. We laughed even more when he jumped into the air and said that that maybe he'd 'just gone gay all of a sudden'.

"That's the first time in Earthling film that 'gay' means what the Master sort of is," Mags told us (probably just to prove she knew something we didn't).

"Sort of what all of the people here are," Eddie muttered, suddenly very serious.

I snuggled closer to him. "Just watch the film, darling. No seriousness allowed right now!"

Chuckling, he wrapped his arm around me. "Okay, babe."

Over his shoulder I noticed Magenta miming vomiting. That's a rather silly thing for her to do. I'm forced to watch her stare dreamily at Riff all the time and I don't act that immature. Well, not usually.

Once the movie ended Eddie had to leave. To my delight, he gave me a goodnight kiss just before he left.

"You're falling in love," Magenta stated bluntly.

"Am not!"

"You can keep telling yourself that, but that won't help things. The only reason that the Master hasn't noticed is that he's too busy being a self-centered bastard. Be careful, Columbia."

She's probably right, as usual.

- Columbia (a groupie)

A/N: The film they watch (Bringing Up Baby) is a classic comedy. And what Magenta says about the film's character saying "maybe I just went gay all of a sudden" is true.

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