Disclaimer: I don't own The Rocky Horror Picture Show

A/N: I'm sorry if this is a bit boring. Maybe I shouldn't make it take place one day at a time.

Sunday, March/?/1974

Dear Diary,

Today was a bit awkward. You see, Eddie now thinks we're dating. That is an impossible dream that won't come true. Though such a thing hasn't actually happened before (as far as I know), I doubt Frankie would want two of his 'playthings' having an affair behind his back. I can't decide whether or not to point this out. I didn't today.

Though I didn't actually see Eddie until lunchtime. As usual, I spent the morning chatting with Magenta. Today she was cleaning the foyer.

"Hello, Columbia," she said when she saw me.

"Hey…"

"Are you going to continue leading poor Eddie on? It'll never work out. Both of you will be miserable soon enough," Magenta said.

"At least we're happy right now!" I pointed out.

She sighed. "I suppose young people don't understand long term planning. Is a wonderful romance that lasts hardly a few months worth it if afterwards you pay dearly? My brother agrees that the Master will not be pleased if he finds out."

I narrowed my eyes. "Did Riff figure it out on his own? Or did you tell him? No offense, but won't he tell Frank?"

"Don't worry. I've, of course, known him my entire life and I know him well enough to trust him more than anything. Anyway, he enjoys keeping secrets from the Master. It makes him feel like he's betraying the Master or something," Mags explained with a shrug.

I hope she's right about Riff Raff. The only reason I don't trust him is that he just seems like a not-trustable sort of person. All the hiding in the shadows and the shady, slightly stoned demeanor makes him seem a bit more malicious than he actually is.

It was at lunchtime that I actually spoke to Eddie himself.

Magenta, Eddie, and I were the only ones who ate in the kitchen. This was a good thing, of course. Whenever Riff Raff is around things are awkward and Frank dominates all conversations.

"Er, I liked that movie we watched yesterday," Eddie said nervously.

"That's good," I replied, mentally lamenting at how pathetic that sounded.

"It is a very funny film. I thought that the actor Cary Grant was quite good looking, as well as talented," Magenta said.

"He's gay," I told her, giggling.

She raised an eyebrow. "I know he improvised that one line, but-"

"Cary Grant was gay. My mother was very upset, you see, when she found out that her favorite actor was a 'darn homosexual'. Her words, not mine."

Eddie laughed at this.

For some reason, Mags looked puzzled. "But why did she care that he was gay? Wasn't she married? Anyway, she had no chance of meeting him in person… did she?"

"No. I really don't know why she cared. It's just one of those funny things about people. Some like celebrity gossip far too much."

"It's the same back home on the planet Transsexual, in the galaxy of Transylvania. Except we don't really have films. People love to gossip about the royal family instead," Magenta replied, laughing.

"So Frank has lots of fangirls back home?" I asked, suddenly feeling rather sick.

"Indeed."

"No wonder he thinks that he's better than everyone else," Eddie muttered.

"Yes, that's why he's like that. Though I'd bet years of being spoiled by his mother also factored in," Magenta explained unhappily.

All three of us hated Frank. Yet I really liked him at the same time. I wished I could be like Mags. Hating someone and loving them is hard work. She's lucky, since it's so much simpler for her. Or maybe I'm luckier, since I associate some nice emotions with him (instead of just bad ones). Yet love is only a 'nice' emotion sometimes. Mostly it's just something that makes you act like an idiot.

Yeah, Magenta is better off.

After lunch I went to the ballroom to tap dance. Like on Friday, Eddie followed me there to watch. That's actually a bit nerve wracking. I haven't actually 'performed' in years. Well, I've danced at the few parties Frank has hosted. But that's not the same. They don't have tap dancing on Transsexual Transylvania. So I'm not being compared to any other performer. I'm sure Eddie has seen people tap dance before.

Thankfully, he doesn't seem to think my dancing is awful. You know what he said?

"You're pretty good!"

I giggled. "Thanks. I took lessons as a kid. And then, when I wasn't traveling with a band, I did a professional gig here and there."

And so, we talked about my love of tap dancing. I told all those little misadventures involving different theatres and things. But, just as I was about to ask him if he has any hobbies, Mags came to get him.

I think he'll become part of my schedule now. Just like how I spend every morning talking to Magenta, I now spend the afternoons with Eddie. Okay, that's only happened twice. At least I want to make it part of my schedule. That should count for something…

Soon enough, it was dinnertime. We ate something that involved pasta. I think Magenta plans to never again feed us a dinner that doesn't involve pasta somehow.

It's a shock that Frank didn't notice me staring at Eddie the whole time. He was too busy talking to notice anything, I suppose. For once he's inability to care about others actually came in useful! Well, it came in useful for me.

After dinner I went back to my room.

"You shouldn't have been staring at that boy the whole time. Both of you will end up in quite a bit of trouble if the Master notices," Magenta grumbled.

"Whatever."

"Don't just say 'whatever'. Listen to me, Columbia. I really gave your best interests in mind."

She's still glaring at me. The fact that she hates the sound of my pencil writing on these pages is only making matters worse.

- Columbia (a groupie)

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