Disclaimer: I don't own The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Or Revenge of the Old Queen (more and more characters/ideas are coming from that).

A/N: Is this getting too weird? People were reviewing... and then just stopped.

"Out of Universe" Explanations For Names:

'Winslow' is named after the Phantom from The Phantom of the Paradise, though not really for any reason important at this point in time. I just thought the name fit. His alias, 'Martin', is reference to Martin 'Marty' McFly wasn't related to Doc Brown, though saw him as a father figure in some ways. Winslow/Martin isn't actually related to Mr. Bradshaw, but must pretend that he is.

In the stage musical Cabaret, based on short stories by Christopher Isherwood, Sally Bowles is a nightclub singer in 1930s Berlin. The musical's protagonist, an American wannabe-writer named Cliff Bradshaw, falls for her. When she aborts their baby so that she can continue her decadent partying lifestyle, he leaves the country (Germany) without her. The person who Isherwood reportedly based the character 'Sally' on was named Jean Ross.

That musical's plot might have something to do with a few backstories...

Saturday, ?/?/1974

Dear Diary,

Like yesterday, I awoke to a sound that initially confused me.

It happened to be a hushed argument of some kind. Since Winslow/Martin and Eddie weren't in their sleeping bags, I correctly guessed that it was between them. Right outside the van. Though I couldn't hear much of it, it seemed to involve the people chasing us.

"-and now they're after me!" That was the voice of Winslow/Martin.

"So we've got aliens, cops, and his people after us?"

I wondered whom they were talking about. Unfortunately, I couldn't hear the rest of the conversation because Mr. Bradshaw choose that exact moment to enter the van from the door opposite the one I was listening to the conversation through. He immediately began talking to me.

"I've got to plan out the rest of the journey. That means I need as much information as possible on this queen everyone's been talking about and… what's his name? Lordy?"

"De Lordy," I corrected unhappily.

"Right. Tell me everything you know about what his next move might be," Mr. Bradshaw said, holding the pencil just above the paper.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Do you think he'll try to follow us or… whatever. I'm a bit out of practice when it comes to strategic planning, of course. But any information will help. For one thing, what does the so-called queen want with you?"

I sighed, knowing that he probably wouldn't believe a word. "She's the Queen of the planet Transsexual in the galaxy Transylvania. That's not to far away, since Transylvania is just their name for our galaxy… I'm pretty sure. By living with her son for at least six months, I learned all sorts of top-secret stuff about their planet. Since they haven't made official First Contact with Earth's government, nobody is supposed to know about them.

"The prince, of course, likes taking in earthling companions. Most of the time that means a cute girl he picked up at a bar or something. As long as they never leave his Mother never gets involved or anything. I'm pretty sure that Eddie and I are the only ones who've escaped instead of died. So we could potentially tell the whole world about the secrets. The fact that Eddie's uncle works for the government only makes matters worse.

"Lord Dominus de Lordy is the Queen's first cousin. He's a lazy, fat bastard with no sense of style that'd do nearly anything to be on her 'good' side. No sane being would trust him for any reason. Somehow he's got the impression that she might name him heir to the throne. I doubt she will. Though I think that whoever kills us and brings our very-dead corpses to the queen is set to collect a large monetary reward. From what I know, Transylvanians are very bad at blending in and not looking crazy. Fishnets and corsets are worn by pretty much everyone who's upper class, and I'd bet the lower classes are equally outlandish. But after meeting Rosencrantz and Guildenstern they might be a bit saner than I once believed."

Mr. Bradshaw wrote all this down in some sort of code. The fact that I couldn't read it made me nervous.

At about that point I realized that his hair wasn't stark white anymore and it hardly stuck out at all. Now it was a dark brown color with a few streaks of grey here and there. Today he looked much younger. As if the wrinkled face was just a mask or something!

"How old are you?" I asked him.

"Not a day over 44," he replied cheerfully.

"I thought you were older than Dr. Scott," I said.

"No. He's only a bit older than 50, though. Younger than he looks. I just pretend to be older so that, er… so that I get more respect. A guy of 50-something is seen as smarter and everything. Since I haven't got the same education as Dr. Scott, people think I'm less intelligent," he explained.

It sounded like mostly lies. Something really bothers me about Mr. Bradshaw. I'd bet he's not German (like everyone else who lives with Eddie's Uncle), for one thing. Actually, I know he's not German. But I'll get to that later…

At that moment, Eddie opened the van door.

"Do ya know when breakfast is?" he asked.

Mr. Bradshaw chuckled. "Breakfast is whenever anyone wants it, you know. Today we can eat some of the salmon jerky."

"Right," Eddie replied.

And so, we all ate some of the salmon. For some reason Mr. Bradshaw only let us eat a small amount. I guess he wanted to save most of it in case we didn't get around to grocery shopping again soon.

If Winslow/Martin hadn't seemed so angry, I would've asked he or Eddie what they'd been talking about earlier. Since I'd only heard a bit of their conversation, I was quite curious. It sounded important.

Whatever.

Once we'd all eaten, it was time for planning.

"So, we've got to plan out our entire route. And figure out any places where we can stop without being betrayed. Plus, we'll need a few designated areas to all go in case we get separated," Mr. Bradshaw explained, grinning happily.

What a weirdo. He likes 'adventuring' far too much.

"Are we just going to keep running from them?" I asked, very worried.

"We'll have to confront them at some point," Eddie pointed out.

"And, when we do confront them, what do we do? I doubt that these crazy outer-space guys know how to fight with switchblades. And I'm not gonna fight with anything else!" Winslow/Martin added darkly.

Mr. Bradshaw chuckled nervously. "Er… I'm sure we'll figure all that out later. We need to write out the basic route now. Do you kids have any ideas on where to plan to stop? Any family friends? I've already got a few ideas."

"Well, there's always my Granny's house," I said thoughtfully.

Eddie stared at me in confusion. "You have a granny?"

"Technically everyone has a granny!" Winslow/Martin muttered bitterly, for no good reason.

I rolled my eyes. "My Granny is the last person in my family that I spoke to before I ran away. She's the only person in my family who always supported me. Of course, she doesn't know about all that's happened… but she was a flapper in her youth. All those stories about bootleg gin…"

"Where does this grandmother o' yours live?" Eddie asked.

"Um… just outside Washington, DC. In Maryland… or maybe northern Virginia…." I replied thoughtfully.

"I've got an ally in DC," Mr. Bradshaw said thoughtfully.

And then it was decided.

We now plan to drive to Washington DC. To everyone that seemed pretty safe. According to Mr. Bradshaw, that should take about six hours. Hopefully Granny will be ready for us.

So we spent the rest of the morning driving.

Currently, we're sitting outside the van eating lunch. That happens to be soup we heated up with the portable stove. We're in the middle of nowhere again.

Apparently we'll stop be in DC by four this afternoon. We've still got a lot of driving left to do, of course. Can't wait to see civilization again!

- Columbia (a groupie)/Sally Ross

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