Disclaimer: I don't own The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
A/N: So... from now on, the story skips around in time. The movie itself takes place in November, of course, and I didn't want things to get boring.
Wednesday, ?/?/1974
Dear Diary,
Over the last few months, things have gone back to normal. Nothing important has happened. Since this diary is running out of space, I haven't written anything down lately.
Now, however, something worth noting has happened: I'm pregnant.
Riff Raff- who's the closest thing we have to a medical doctor- says I'm about four months pregnant now. He told me that yesterday. Though I have only been paying attention to days of the week, I think it's currently early June. So, the baby was probably conceived in early March… and therefore Eddie might be the father.
So far the only person who knows is Riff. Of course, Magenta probably knows because he shares nearly every secret with her (and vice versa).
I doubt Frank will care about this. He's got this project he's all excited about. It something science related, which means Riff has to help with it. Thankfully he's got the robot nonHAL-Asimov-42, aka Robby, working as some kind of lab assistant. That means he won't have to do as much hand-on work, and therefore has more time to see his sister or help me.
At lunchtime today, Robby came to fetch me from the kitchen. Luckily, nobody but Magenta was in the room with me. I'm pretty sure she knows what's going on.
"Mister Riff Raff wishes to see you," the robot explained.
So, I followed him to that room near the lab that I consider the 'doctor room'. All sorts of dreadful machines that go 'ping!' and cabinets full of medicine only to be taken under very specific circumstances…
This time, apparently, Riff would be able to figure out whether or not the baby was half
He seemed quite excited about the fact that he might be the first to document a half-Earthling, half-Transylvanian pregnancy. Such information might be useful to solve the severe inbreeding problems caused by a now-over deadly plague on his home planet.
There was this little electronic thing that he scanned me with (while standing exactly two feet away). It lit up, and looked in some ways like a calculator.
"I'll also be… taking a blood sample," he said, once the device had apparently given him some sort of result.
"Why?" I asked, annoyed.
"Because that's what doctors… do."
I'd never had blood drawn, as far as I could remember. Now I wonder if earthling technology is the same as the technology he used. Probably.
Basically he stuck a needle in my arm, told me to look away and stop moving so much, somehow got a vial of blood out of my arm without me feeling anything, and then took the needle out of my arm. It hurt worse once the needle was gone, for some reason.
Then, he handed the vial of blood to Robby. "Can you analyze these samples?"
The robot, since he is physically unable to nod in agreement (because the metal of his 'head' and 'torso' are welded together), said: "Yes, sir."
"I need to know everything I can about it. Levels of minerals, "
"Yes, sir."
Then, the robot left.
"Why?" I asked. "Why do you need to analyze my blood?"
Riff glared at me. "Because, so far, all I know about earthling blood is that it's iron-based like mine. And I only know that because of the color. I'm pretty sure you're an average earthling, so I might as well use your blood as a baseline of sorts. If the queen ever decides that invading this planet is a good idea we'll also need to know what elements humans are commonly exposed to. I've already figured out that the gravity is slightly stronger, amongst other small details. But a sample of an earthling's blood might also help me figure out what environmental factors affect life over a longer period of time."
At that, I rolled my eyes. "I don't really care. What did that other scanner say? What was it ever for?"
"Well… it proved that your son is only half-human. I don't think that's ever happened before, and the Galactic Council of Biological Sciences will love to hear about it. I plan to write reports and send them to-"
"Damn the Galactic Council of Sciences!" I shouted.
"It's the Galactic Council of Biological Sciences," he unsympathetically corrected.
"Whatever."
At that moment, Robby returned to the room. In his large, metal hands he held a pile of papers. One of those high-tech Transylvanian machines had probably printed it. Why can't earthling technology be that advanced?
The robot handed Riff the papers without a word. As he began looking over them, I left the room. Though it was about 1:45 by then, I went to the kitchen. I'd decided not to tap dance every afternoon anymore.
Magenta found me going through the kitchen cabinets. Various cans of soup and bottles of spices littered the floor.
"What are you doing? I just organized all th-" her tone of voice changed from angry to sympathetic when she realized I was crying. "What's wrong, Columbia?"
"I hate him," I said quietly.
"Who do you hate?" Mags asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, I hate a lot of people right now… but it's your brother I'm most annoyed at," I told her sullenly.
"What do you mean?" she asked, less angry than I would've thought.
"He seems to think I'm just another science project. Apparently a female earthling hasn't ever been pregnant with a half-Transylvanian child. Now he's talking about writing to various scientific organizations about this. It's horrible! And he took a blood test just so that he could research average earthling blood. He's so mean!"
"So… you're pregnant?" Magenta said.
"Yes. I thought you already knew." I replied, quite annoyed that she'd ignored everything else I'd said.
"I didn't. And the Master is the father, yes?" she asked, suddenly looking very worried.
"Unfortunately."
Then, Magenta began muttering to herself. "Oh dear. That's not good... we mustn't let anyone know this. Eddie will hate you and I don't know what the Master will do, but it really won't be nice. And now the queen will probably be sending assassins after you, anyway… this is bad..."
At that point I left the kitchen. Though I was very hungry, I just wanted to be away from everything. Before I got to my room, however, I literally ran into someone nobody wants to literally run into. Robby happens to be made of a metal from another world, which is stronger than anything I've ever come across. So, if one ruins into him too hard, they could break their arm or something.
"Hello, miss," said the robot.
"Hello," I muttered in reply.
The blue lights that seemed to take the place of eyes 'blinked' once or twice. Then, Robby spoke again. "My scanners detect an expression commonly associated with sadness and related emotions on your face. Is there anything I can do?"
"I don't know," I replied with a shrug.
The robot didn't give up. "I have many songs programmed into my memory. Would playing one of them help cheer you up? A Bicycle Built for Two is a classic, alibi one with unpleasant associations with failed AI. How about Science Fiction/Double Feature?"
"I don't know that song, Robby," I replied, now a bit confused.
"Neither do I, it seems. How odd. Someone called 'Smith' programmed it into my memory in 1973. Yet, in 1973, I was still being kept in my old master's warehouse. I never knew anyone called 'Smith'."
The robot's eye-lights flickered strangely, and then he went back to normal.
"I'm sorry, miss. It seems that the memory circuits in my positronic brain had a slight malfunction. May I go rest?"
"Yes, go on," I replied.
And so… he wandered off down the corridor. A moment later I went to my room. There, I read a book for a while. Something by
After that, nothing really worth noting happened. I might write more tomorrow, though I might not. Hopefully Riff will be nicer then.
- Columbia (a groupie)
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