A/N: Guess it's about time to say again I don't own anything Scandal related. Enjoying the reviews. OliviaLovesFitz8, your wondering is on track. Clio1792, you're right, Fitz has some big secrets. Kelleekellkell, such kind words. BTW, this is an Olitz story, they're my only reason for writing FF. Next chapter, back to the present, back to Wisconsin. Here we go!
Chapter 6. The Stares
Olivia climbs into the backseat of the taxi waiting curbside at their Midtown Manhattan hotel and Fitz climbs in behind her. They both burst out laughing recalling their first taxi ride together.
"JFK", Fitz directs the driver.
"Babe, that day was too funny. The poor doorman -"
"You were so mad. And when the taxi driver made you sit in the back with me ..." She brings her hand to her mouth laughing hard.
"I thought you were the rudest person I had ever met."
"I wasn't that bad."
"You were", pecking her on the cheek.
XXX
After Olivia and Fitz finally snake their way through the long and slow moving security line at JFK International Airport they find their gate, settle into the last two open and connecting seats, and wait to board their flight to Phoenix. The monitor indicates their plane is now 30 minutes late.
"Fitz, did you enjoy being in New York?" She asks, eyeing him carefully.
"It was okay. I'll be fine no matter where we are, Liv", giving her that stupid smirk.
"We have to come back, Fitz. There is so much we didn't get a chance to see – all of the museums, the theaters, and of course the restaurants."
"OK", wrapping his arm around her shoulder and kissing her cheek.
An elderly couple with matching green eyes sits directly across from Olivia and Fitz and sneaks another peek at the younger couple. They shake their heads disapprovingly. Another 15 minutes pass and the monitor now indicates their flight will be delayed for two more hours because of bad weather in Toledo.
"Aww, babe, if I had known our flight was going to be delayed we could've stayed at the hotel a little longer.
Fitz studies the monitor closely.
"Do you want to get something to eat – some lunch? She asks, pouting a little.
"Sure", getting up and grabbing her hand. "Let's see what we can find to eat around this place."
Fitz and Olivia find a sports bar a few steps away from their gate and read the menu posted outside the restaurant and decide to test their luck. The airline will send an email if their flight status changes.
"Are you two together?" The waitress with dreadlocks asks while chewing a mouthful of gum.
They look at each other because it's obvious they're together, after all they're sitting at the same table and talking to each other.
"Yes we are", Fitz says, looking up at the waitress.
"Okay. What can I get you?" Blowing small bubbles with her gum.
They place their order and resume talking about a return trip to New York.
"Fitz, I love this city. It's so big, so alive."
"It is", smiling at her enthusiasm.
"I don't know why I never came up here when I lived in Philadelphia. It's only a few hours away."
"Well I've never been here either. It's not Phoenix and it certainly isn't Wisconsin."
"You mean you never came here when you were at Harvard?"
"Nope."
The waitress returns with their lunch order and tosses the food onto the table. They look at each other because of the woman's obvious rudeness.
"Is there a problem?" Fitz looks at the woman with his piercing blue eyes.
"Excuse you?" The waitress responds, chewing her gum.
Olivia grows quiet and looks down at her food.
"You are being rude and I want to know why", Fitz continues.
"Fitz, don't", Olivia says softly.
"I don't know what you're talking about", she says with an attitude. She rolls her eyes at Olivia before walking away.
"What's her problem?"
"Let's just go back to the gate, Fitz. I don't think I want to eat this food", Olivia says softly.
"Maybe I should speak to her manager?" His voice is getting louder.
"You do that, Fitz", the waitress shouts from across the dining room.
"Let's just go, Fitz", pulling him from his seat and out of the restaurant.
The man sitting at the bar frowns at the couple as he watches them walk from the restaurant.
"Let's grab a couple slices of New York-style pizza and eat at the gate", Olivia says, trying to diffuse the situation.
He's angry because he doesn't know why the waitress was being so rude to them.
"This is good pizza, Fitz. New York has so much wonderful food."
"You really like this city."
"I do."
They eat in silence for a few minutes.
"Fitz …" She starts slowly.
"Hmm?" He's sipping his drink and looking at the monitor to see if there is an update on their flight.
"Fitz", she says more firmly, trying to get his attention.
He turns his attention to her and smiles.
"Fitz, can you see yourself living in a big city like New York? Phoenix is big but it's no New York."
"I don't know, Liv. I've never thought about it. Why do you ask?"
"Well …" She begins slowly.
"I might have the opportunity to work in New York - to move here." She watches his expression slowly transform from calm to tense and his eyes darken."
He's in shock and can't speak. His brain hasn't caught up with what his ears are hearing.
"Do you remember when I told you that I was writing a proposal for Stearns to consider starting a low- to middle-income housing development unit?" She's getting excited.
He nods slowly. His heart is racing and he's trying to appear calm.
"Well …" She moves closer to him, her smile stretching across her face.
"Stearns has accepted my proposal." She's nodding her head vigorously.
"They thought it was a good idea since the government has gotten out of the business of building homes for people in those income brackets." She's ready to burst.
"And they want to open an office here in New York." She's beside herself with happiness.
"And guess what?" She grabs his wrist, not bothering to wait for him to guess.
"They want me to lead the unit – here - in New York City, Fitz." She's bouncing in her seat from excitement.
He looks at her stunned for a long moment and is finding it difficult to breathe. He doesn't know what to say. He feels sweat forming on his forehead, his heart beats rapidly, and he hears the blood rushing through his ears. Finally he finds his voice.
"Olivia, that's terrific. Congratulations", giving her a forced smile.
She looks at him because he just used the O word and he doesn't look happy.
"I have to go to the bathroom", he says abruptly.
She watches him hurry away from the gate before she could share the rest of her good news. After more than 30 minutes pass Fitz returns to the gate and sits next to Olivia. He looks haggard.
"Fitz, are you all right?" Looking at him with concern.
"I'm fine, Olivia." He's not looking at her, instead he's staring out the huge windows at nothing in particular.
Now she knows something's wrong. She takes his hand between her hands and speaks softly to his tense profile.
"As I was saying, Stearns wants to open a unit here in New York and they want me to lead it."
She watches him as his jaw clenches tighter.
"But, we need to develop a strategy for the new unit, find a location, and work with local and federal officials. There is just so much to plan before we can even think about opening an office any time soon. Stearns thinks it will take at least a year to set up everything."
She looks at him closely and sees his face begin to relax somewhat. He leans back in his seat and looks at her. He notices she has tamped down her enthusiasm and he feels awful. He knows he's being selfish because he doesn't want her to move to New York, doesn't want to lose her.
"Liv, I was taken aback when I heard your news. I must admit I wasn't expecting that. But I am really, truly happy for you. This is such a great opportunity. I'm proud of you, baby." He gives her a genuine smile this time.
"Are you sure, Fitz?" Pouting slightly and no longer excited about sharing her good fortune.
"Kiss me", thinking his timeline has now shifted.
She beams brightly and gives him a big, wet kiss.
Flight 753 to Phoenix will be boarding in 15 minutes.
Three Weeks Later
As Olivia sits on the sofa in Fitz' apartment she begins to set up the movie Fitz wants to watch. She clicks the Netflix icon displayed on his SMART TV screen, scrolls through the movies listings, and queues up the movie. Fitz is in the kitchen getting a bottle of beer for him and a glass of wine for her. She starts the movie as he walks into the living room. He gives her the glass of wine, sits onto the sofa, and grabs the remote from her hand. She rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her wine.
"Fitz, you know how important family is to me, right?"
"I do", he says softly, stretching his legs onto the coffee table and pointing the remote at the television.
"Fitz, I've told you everything about me - about my biological parents and adoptive parents - who were absolutely wonderful to me. They showered me with so much love and ensured I had everything I needed - more than I needed really. They made sure I got a terrific education so I could explore options in life."
He pushes the pause button on the remote, realizing she has something on her mind and is not interested in watching the movie. He turns and smiles at her.
"But Fitz", she says softly. "No matter how much my family loved me, I never felt good enough." She checks his face to see how he's absorbing her confession.
"Babe, don't do this to yourself." He sets the remote on the sofa and pulls her into his arms.
"I'm not. But Fitz, every child wants to know their biological parents, no matter how horrible they might have been. The yearning never goes away. Fitz …" She drops her eyes before continuing. "Sometimes I think if my own parents didn't think I was good enough to keep - if they didn't want me, then why would anyone else want me?"
"I want you, Livvie. I'll always want you", rubbing his hand up and down her arm.
She gives a weak smile and lays her head on his shoulder.
"Liv, your parents were unable to care for you, but they made sure you got to a safe place. I know it's not the same as having them, but they wanted more for you. Allowing you to be adopted could have been their way of giving you what they couldn't. You can look at it as an act of love - of selflessness."
Olivia nods and the tears roll down her cheeks and he pulls her close and kisses the top of her head. She takes a deep breath and prepares to reveal another fear.
"Fitz, the fear of rejection is always there for me."
"I didn't know, babe." He says softly, kissing her again and holding her a little tighter. "I'm so sorry."
They sit in silence for a few minutes.
"Baby, do you ever get tired of the stares?"
"The stares?" He's not sure if they're on the same subject or if she has moved on to another topic.
Olivia leans back and looks at him and he looks at her curiously because he really doesn't know what she's talking about.
"Yes, Fitz. The stares." Looking at him incredulously.
"Liv, you've got to give me a bit more here. I don't know what you're talking about."
She stands from the sofa and looks at him. He can be so dense sometimes.
"Fitz, don't be so obtuse. You have to notice the stares we get whenever we're out together?"
He looks at her blankly.
"Fitz, please. How can you not know what I'm talking about? People stare at us all the time when we're out together. I guess it's still difficult for people to accept interracial couples, especially when a white man is with a black woman", she says softly.
"What?"
She sits on the sofa again, takes his hand in hers, and looks into his eyes.
"Fitz, baby, surely you know some of the stereotypes - Sally Hemmings, Thomas Jefferson!"
"Liv …"
"Some people view us being together in different ways. Some will think I'm your whore - that you're paying for my company. Some will think I'm a novelty - your latest curiosity.
"Liv ..."
"Others will think I am a sell-out, giving myself to a white man who once enslaved my people." Dr. Ramsey's words still haunt her.
"I don't think that way and I don't give a damn about people who do."
"Fitz, you can't be naive about this."
"Olivia, I am so damned tired of people calling me naive. I know we're in an interracial relationship. Just because I choose not to let society dictate who I should love doesn't mean I'm naive." He's getting angry. "Liv, I wasn't raised by racist, bigoted parents."
"But Fitz, my question is do you get tired of the stares?"
"No! Do you?"
She wasn't expecting the tables to turn on her. Again she needs to think about if she's really ready for an interracial relationship. She remembers her conversation with Mrs. Teller.
"Honestly, babe, sometimes I do", she says softly.
He huffs, stands from the sofa, and starts walking away.
"Wait, wait. Don't walk away. Let's talk about this", she pleads, following him across the room.
"I thought we already had this conversation once ", he says tiredly, running a hand through his hair.
"Just because we discussed it once doesn't mean we can't talk about it again."
"Where is this coming from, Liv? Why are you bringing this up again tonight?"
Didn't you see the nasty looks the old couple at JFK kept giving us? And the waitress in the restaurant?"
"Liv, I love you. I'm in love with you and I don't give a damn about who doesn't like it."
"We should be able to talk about these things, Fitz. We have to be able to talk about these things."
"Baby, I don't want the differences in our race to define us. I don't want us to waste our time worrying about what people think about us when we walk down the street or when we go to the goddamn supermarket - people we don't even know or give a shit about."
He's getting frustrated because she won't drop the subject.
"Liv, baby, you gotta be okay with us. You gotta be okay with the stares. You gotta know that there is no Sally or Thomas here. It's just us, Olivia and Fitz - two people who want to be together no matter what anyone else thinks. Okay?"
She eyes him intently, looking in his eyes for any sign of uncertainty or doubt. Then she nods.
"Now kiss me", he says.
She smiles broadly as he wraps his hands around her ass and pulls her close.
"Olivia", he says, more seriously, looking into her eyes. "I need you to be okay with us. If you can't do this then let me know, baby, because I'm in this for the long haul."
She sees the sincerity in his eyes and decides to drop the subject for now.
"I'm in this for the long haul too. I - I just get scared sometimes."
"What scares you about us?" Looking at her with concern.
She hesitates for a moment before sharing another fear.
"Fitz …" She takes a deep breath before continuing. "Sometimes I get scared that you'll wake up one day - that the pressure will become too much - and you won't want to do this anymore - won't want me anymore. I couldn't take that kind of rejection."
She tries to pull away from him but he holds on to her tighter.
"Don't hide from me, Livvie."
She stills her movements and looks into his eyes.
"You know I can say the same thing, Liv. I'm afraid of losing you all the time." He looks at her as if he just let the cat out of the bag and she looks at him in shock.
"Liv, I spend too many hours of my day worrying if I am going to lose you. I love you more than anything. You're everything to me and I want to spend all of my time with you. When you didn't talk to me for days I panicked." He begins to pace around the room, running his hand through his hair.
She looks at him in surprise.
"Liv, I went to New York because I was devastated – because I thought I'd lost you. I needed to explain - to win you back."
"You never lost me, Fitz."
"Well, it sure felt like it."
"Fitz …"
"Babe, there is no pressure for me. If you decide - we decide that this - what we have isn't working, it won't be because I am a white and you are black. Is this why you won't move in with me?"
"I've been thinking about that too, Fitz."
He strains not to roll his eyes because she always needs time to think things over.
"While I won't move in with you …"
His features harden.
"I will commit to staying here two to three nights a week. I'm staying here a couple of nights a week already", she adds quickly."
He smiles and walks over to her.
"Three to four nights and it's a deal", he insists.
"Fitz, I like my apartment."
"I like it too. Three to four nights", he says, grabbing her around the waist.
"Okay, okay. Three to four nights, but only because your snoring has gotten better. They both smile. "And Fitz, we have to talk about you being such a neat freak."
He looks at her astonished because he doesn't think he's a neat freak at all.
One Week Later
Olivia stands in the middle of the huge walk-in closet and looks around at all of Fitz' clothes that are hang neatly and coordinated by color. She shakes her head because she would never have pegged him for being a clothes horse.
"Fitz, you have to move more of your shirts and suits. I'm going to need more space for my clothes."
"OK. I'll put them in the guest room." He's smiling because he'd clear out his whole closet if it means she will be spending more time with him.
"Do you have anything else in the car you need me to get?" He calls from the bedroom.
"There's one more box on the back seat. Can you get it for me, babe?"
"Sure."
Fitz brings the box in from the car and sets it on the floor by the door. Then he goes to the guest room and brings the huge wrapped item into the living room. He removes the brown paper, steps back, and smiles.
"Liv, come check if this is the box you were talking about."
"Fitz, there was only one box left on the backseat." She doesn't have time to check on the box because she's trying to organize her clothes in the new space.
"Well, I saw two and I'm not sure if you want both of them."
She huffs as she walks from the closet. She needs to get her things set up before the work week begins. She hates when she can't find what she's looking for.
"Liv", he calls again from the living room.
"Coming", rolling her eyes as she walks toward the living room. She stops in her tracks when she sees his big smile and the painting.
"Oh my god. Oh, Fitz", bringing her hand to her mouth.
"It's a house-warming gift for you." He's beaming.
"Fitz ..."
"I wanted you to have something that would make you feel at home - like this is your home too."
"Fitz ..." Tears are now streaming down her face.
"I know how much you loved it so I went back the next day and bought it for you. Needless to say the woman wasn't too happy to see me at first."
"You bought this after our first date?"
He's nodding his head and giving her that goofy grin she loves so much.
"I told you, Livvie. I always knew we were going to be together."
She jumps into his arms and covers his face with wet, sloppy kisses.
"I love you, Fitz."
The words just slipped out. She hadn't planned on saying them. She freezes, looking at him in surprise, trying to gauge his reaction.
"Say it again." He's wearing the biggest smile ever, holding her tighter.
"I love you, Fitz." Now she's wearing a big smile too.
"And again."
"Nooo." She's laughing, pulling away from him.
"Say it again or ..."
"No, Fitz. No tickling."
"Then say it."
She attempts to run but he catches her by the arm and pulls her in for a kiss. They're getting lost in the moment when the doorbell rings.
"Don't. You. Move. I'm not done with you." He's red-faced from laughing so hard and his hair is wild from her hands roaming through his curls.
"Yes, sir", she giggles while saluting him.
XXX
"Cyrus, what are you doing here?" Still grinning from their frolicking.
Cyrus is stunned by the sight standing before him; Dr. Grant with tousled hair, looking carefree, and seemingly in the middle of a laugh fest.
"Is this not a good time, Fitzgerald?" Cyrus looks at the man questioningly.
"It's fine. Please come in." Fitz steps aside, allowing the man to enter the apartment.
Olivia runs a hand through her hair, trying to look presentable for Chief Beene. Cyrus glances around the room at all of the moving boxes and wonders what's going on.
"Are you moving, Fitzgerald? I thought you loved this place."
"Not at all, Cyrus. These boxes belong to my girlfriend, Olivia. She's moving in", he announces proudly.
Cyrus is shocked by the revelation and tries to maintain his composure. He had no idea things had gotten this serious with them.
"You can meet her now", guiding Cyrus into the living room where Olivia is now sitting up straight on the sofa.
Fitz walks over to Olivia, pulls her up by the hand from the sofa, and pecks her on the lips.
"I'll finish with you later, missy", he whispers into her ear then turns back to Cyrus. "Liv, this is Cyrus Beene, chief of neurology. Cyrus, this is Olivia."
Olivia extends her hand to Cyrus and he shakes it unenthusiastically.
"It's good to meet you, Olivia. I'm sorry to interrupt your evening", glancing around the room.
"Not at all. We were just taking a break anyway", giving Fitz a furtive glance. "Can I get you something to drink, Chief Beene?"
"No - nothing, thank you. I won't be staying. I just wanted to discuss a matter with Fitzgerald."
"Well, I'll leave the two of you alone while I finish putting away my things."
Cyrus bristles.
"It was nice to meet you Chief Beene."
"You too, Olivia", he says tightly.
"So Cyrus, what case do you want to discuss?" He looks at the man curiously.
Cyrus waves the manila folder he's been holding tightly in his hand before responding.
"The Darwin twins. Their surgery is scheduled for next week. I just wanted to go over a few things with you."
Fitz finds it quite odd that Cyrus has shown up at his home unannounced and wants to discuss the case of the conjoined twins the surgical team has been planning for weeks. Cyrus rarely gets involved in the surgical cases.
"Since you have company, Fitzgerald -"
"Olivia lives here, Cyrus. She's not company", quickly correcting the man.
"Of course. Of course. Well we can discuss this at another time. I won't interrupt your evening any further."
Fitz gives the man a curious look again before walking him to the door.
"Good night, Cyrus."
"Good night, Fitzgerald."
Olivia comes back into the living room where she sees Fitz shaking his head, seemingly in deep thought.
"Is everything all right? Do you need to go to the hospital?"
"Everything's fine, babe. It's just unusual for Cyrus to stop by without calling." He shakes his head again, then looks at her lecherously. "Now, where were we?"
Olivia laughs hysterically as she slowly backs away from him, resuming their cat and mouse game.
Cyrus is fuming as he stands in the hall outside of Fitz' apartment. Scowling, he grips the folder containing the investigator's report on Olivia Pope. Fitzgerald needs to know the kind of woman he's gotten involved with.
November
Fitz and Olivia leave the movie theater in downtown Phoenix after watching the romantic comedy she insisted they see because it is all the rave and it was her turn to select the movie for their date night. He hates those kinds of movies, chick flicks as he likes to call them, where the guy is always chasing/stalking the girl until she lets him catch her.
They walk hand in hand down Jackson Street discussing the movie plot, or like thereof, as they approach what has become one of their favorite eateries.
"Gelato?"
"Yes, yes, yes", she says excitedly.
It's a beautiful night and it seems like everyone in Phoenix had the same idea, to enjoy the cool evening and eat gelato. They walk into what has become their favorite Gelateria, which is fairly crowded. Olivia spots an open table in the middle of the shop and hurries to claim it while Fitz gets in line to place their order. A handsome young man approaches her shortly after she sits down at the table.
"Hello", he says, smiling at her kindly.
She looks up and returns the greeting.
"I was watching you from across the room and was wondering why such a beautiful woman is out alone on a Saturday night."
Before she can respond she hears that familiar voice.
"She's not alone", Fitz says gruffly, glaring at the man while handing Olivia her cherry gelato.
"I see. I get it. Okay, no harm, man." The man looks between the two and backs away.
"Was he bothering you?" Obviously annoyed by the attention the man was giving Olivia.
"Fitz, don't start."
"Did you tell that asshole not to start when he tried to pick you while I was getting our gelato?"
"Honestly, I really didn't get a chance to say anything before you walked up", she says calmly.
She loves him but he can be so irascible at times. She doesn't want to argue tonight so she scoops some of the creamy delight from the cup, slips the spoon into her mouth, and closes her eyes as the cream hits her tongue and slides down her throat. She licks her lips and moans as her taste buds awaken from the cherry-flavored dessert.
He thinks she looks absolutely beautiful as she licks her lips with her eyes closed and he wants her to be his forever. He doesn't want strange men trying to pick her up when they think she is out alone, although he can't blame them. He wants the world to know she is taken, that she is his. He wants to put an end to the fractured lifestyle they are living. He wants them to stop living in two different apartments and losing their personal items because they are scattered between both places. Olivia scoops more gelato with the plastic spoon and raises it to her mouth.
"Marry me", he says quickly.
He wasn't planning to do it like this, to propose to her while sitting in the middle of a tiny and crowded Gelateria. He's been wracking his brain for months, since New York actually, to come up with a romantic and original way to pop the question. But in this moment he couldn't think of anything more romantic than asking her to be his as he enjoys watching her savor the gelato. He holds his breath.
"What?" Her mouth is wide open and her hand holds the spoonful of gelato mid-air.
"I didn't plan on doing it this way, Liv - to ask you this way - but the time just feels right. I love you and I want us to be together, forever", he says anxiously.
Her mouth is still agape, her eyes are wide, and the creamy, red delight has begun to drip from the white plastic spoon onto the white, hardwood table.
"Say something, Liv. Will you - marry me?" He asks tenderly with so much love in his voice.
She finally regains her senses and sets the plastic spoon into her cup of gelato.
"Fitz, does this have anything to do with that guy who was just over here?"
"Liv, I've been in love with you since, well forever. I didn't know where our relationship would go, but you have always been my endgame. You saw The Plan." He smiles as he recalls the incident.
She rolls her eyes when she thinks about the stupid Plan. He reaches across the table and caresses her hand.
"I want us to be together, as much as humanly possible. I want to stop the insanity of us living between two apartments. I want the world to know that we belong to each other – that I belong to you and you belong to me."
"Fitz ..." She says softly and the tears begin to roll down her face.
He stands from his seat and gets down on one knee in front of her, in the middle of the tiny, crowded shop. He takes her hand into his and repeats his proposal, looking hopeful into her tear-filled eyes.
"Olivia, Livvie. Will you do me the honor of marrying me - of becoming my wife?"
The floodgates are wide open and she is crying a river of happy tears. She wraps her arms around his neck and shakes her head vigorously.
"Yes. Yes. I'll marry you. I'll be your wife."
The patrons in the shop cheer as they watch her acceptance of his marriage proposal unfold. He smiles widely and leans in for a kiss. She holds up a hand halting his movement and he looks confused.
"Not so fast, cowboy. Where's my ring?" She laughs out loud at the look on his face.