Disclaimer: I don't own The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

A/N: Now we're getting into the movie! Yay!

Sorry if all the weird stuff about the Transylvanians' planet's history is a bit pointless. Lately, I've been studying Ancient Rome and reading Asimov's Foundation series (they're awesome and highly recommended to anyone who likes Sci-fi). I'm way too into creating Science Fiction 'worlds' based on our planet's history and other random stuff.

And the movie Magenta mentions, about an alien named Klaatu, is The Day the Earth Stood Still. As the long goes: "Michael Rennie was ill, the day the Earth stood still... but he told us where we stand..." (Michael Rennie played Klaatu, by the way.)

By the way, Hari Seldon is the name of the character in Foundation (and it's sequels) that sets up an organization to preserve knowledge after the Galactic Empire's unavoidable collapse into chaos.

Other Random Notes:

I can't remember which culture the story of Damocles is from, but when I first heard the song from Rocky Horror, I suddenly remembered that it was one of the weird stories my dad told me when I was a kid. Most stories he told me and my brother when we were younger were pretty bizarre (which is half the reason we liked hearing them). The story of Oedipus is a good example. I hate to admit that I loved that one... even though Oedipus claws his own eyes out at one point. And then there's the twins Romulus and Remus being raised in the wild by a she-wolf, yet being able to speak a human language well enough to figure out their mother was royalty. Kids like unrealistic and/or gory stories, I suppose, as long as they happened centuries ago (most of the stories he told are from Ancient Greece or Rome).

The song Ziggy Stardust (and the 'character' of the same name) is from 1972, so it's possible that they could've played that song for the Unconventional Conventionalists.

Saturday, November/?/1974

Dear Diary,

I just thought I'd write what's happened so far now. The night's not over yet, but I've got a bit of a break to write things down.

Nothing worth noting happened this morning. Or this afternoon, really.

An hour after lunch Riff told Robby to go into temporary hibernation. The robot did as he was told, I'm pretty sure. For some reason he wasn't hibernating in his usual spot. In fact, the only reason I knew where he was is that Mags told me.

We began preparing for the party at about 8. Everyone had eaten dinner by then, but only I'd gotten dressed for the party. After that, I'd gone to the ballroom to practice my tap dancing. That meant Magenta interrupted my dance rehearsal halfway through when she began decorating.

"What's that?" I asked, as she wheeled some strange machine into the room.

"It plays music," she told me.

"Is it a jukebox?" It didn't exactly look like one.

"I think that's what you'd call it. It's also a pinball machine."

Weird.

Once she'd set that... thing... in the corner, I decided to sit there. Anything's better than standing up all evening, especially since my legs were already a bit tired from dance practice. Sitting there took a bit of effort initially, though, since I needed to climb up the stupid thing. It's the same height as me.

When I finally sat there atop the jukebox/pinball machine, I realized that Magenta was laughing at me.

"Shut up! It's not that funny!"

She just kept laughing. "It is very funny."

When Frank stalked into the room, a moment later, her face became quite serious.

"What do you want, Master?" she said through gritted teeth.

He smiled that Cheshire cat smile he always smiles and handed her a piece of paper. "I've got a schedule we'll be going by tonight. Be sure everything's ready for my grand entrance at exactly 11:36. The guests will begin arriving at 10 o'clock. Between ten and 11:36, pretty much anything goes. As long as there's something to entertain them, I won't be angry."

"Like my tap dancing?" I asked, smiling at him.

"Sure, doll," he replied, not even looking at me.

Then, he left the room. Why do I always try to get his attention like that? And…

"Why does he ignore me?"

"Because he thinks that he's the center of the Galaxy," she replied. "You are just another irrelevant speck of dust to him."

Then, she began hanging up a banner. It said 'Annual Transylvanian Convention' on it.

"Why do you guys call the Galaxy 'Transylvania'?"

"Ha! It's a mistranslation. Transylvania literally means 'through the woods'. Our word for this galaxy literally means 'through the stars', which is something of a misnomer. Some of our researchers saw the word 'Transylvania' somewhere and thought it meant 'through the stars'. I suppose it's partially because the only Earth-language our people bothered learning happened to be English," she explained.

What she said about them all learning English made me think of another question. "Why did you all learn English? Why not… German? Or Latin?"

"English is the official language spoken in the United States of America. That seems like a good place to make peaceful First Contact with. Americans are almost too open-minded compared to other countries on this planet. And the most popular media on this planet seems to be films. What better way to made ourselves seem more welcome than to purchase a film making company and make covert propaganda? Actually, in the Earth-year 1951, we infiltrated 20th Century Fox and convinced them to make a film about a humanoid alien named Klaatu trying to help keep your planet's people from destroying themselves. "

Then, I though of another question. "Wait… why did you guys go to Earth, of all places, in the first place?"

For some reason, she suddenly looked a bit sad. "There's an old myth back home that a spaceship from our second Age of Glory once crashed on a distant planet. It's said that their last transmission was sent over half a century after they ended up there. Apparently everyone survived, but soon 242 of the 250 people turned barbaric and interbred with the planet's wild men. It's believed that these 'wild men' were the earliest species on your planet to be physically identical to 'modern' humans.

"This has often been dismissed as mere legend. After the First Empire fell apart due to severe corruption and many civil wars, the second Dark Age engulfed us. Then, much all knowledge was lost. Space and/or time travel became merely a rumor, just a myth. But- after about 800 hundred years of darkness- a person from the future appeared. She called herself Seldon-daughter-of-Stella. After ten years she brought us back to our former glory.

"That was 150 years ago. Though little of what she said is recorded, many claim that she mentioned finding that planet where some of us apparently crashed all those centuries ago. People now say that she spoke of Earth. Not that it's very-"

"MAGENTA! GET BACK TO WORK!"

We soon realized that Frank was standing in the doorway looking furious.

"I will go back to work. I will!" she muttered unhappily.

He left the room as Mags began mopping the floors. Often I feel really bad for her. Poor girl is treated worse than Robby…

Far too soon, guests began to arrive. Just as I finished my first tap dance Magenta turned the jukebox on. An earthling song called Ziggy Stardust played for a while. It was about a rock star and some spiders (I think). Apparently Ziggy's band later killed him because he became to egotistical. He sounds just like most bands I knew…

At 11: 15 it was time to dance the Time Warp. Irritatingly, Magenta and Riff had left the room a few minutes earlier. No doubt to make-out in the foyer. To the annoyance of the guest and I, none of us knew how to operate the jukebox.

Before I could go looking for them, however, they burst into the room with two 'normal idiots'. The jukebox had magically turned on seconds before they'd entered of course. I blame their futuristic Transylvanian technology!

Everyone who wasn't those two wide-eyed 'normal people' (or me) then danced the Time Warp. Only after one verse, however, Magenta and her brother sang/danced that solo they practiced. It was pretty cute. And, much to my amusement, the female 'normal person' fainted. Probably thanks to some of the lyrics.

After a bit more singing about the Time Warp, it was time to sing a little verse Frankie wrote for me to sing.

"Well, I was walkin' down the street- just a-havin' a think- when a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink! He shook me up, he took me by surprise! He had a pick-up truck and the devil's eyes. he stared at me, and I felt a change… time meant nothin', never would again!"

Then, they all danced the Time Warp. Again.

Then, they all danced the Time Warp. Again.

And then it was time for my tap dance!

This time, all of the guests were there. Earlier only a few had shown up. Once I'd realized this, I became awfully nervous. So nervous, in fact, that I fell over near the end of my dance.

"Why did you do that?" Magenta hissed, as I joined the crowd to dance along/

"I didn't mean to," I replied.

Then, we danced the Time Warp for the final time that evening. Afterwards I noticed that the two normal people seemed very nervous. The female muttered something to the male that made him cheerfully shout: "Say! Do any of you guys know how to Madison?"

Apparently that wasn't the proper thing to say- at least, in the opinion of the female. None of the Transylvanians (or I) knew what 'to Madison' meant. So we all began to laugh. The sound of our laughed made those two 'normal people' even more agitated.

But I didn't feel bad for them for very long.

No, the female's whiny voice made me lose all sympathy for her. What a childish thing she was! And, I wondered, why were they talking about a phone? I suppose that if I'd heard more of their conversation I would've understood.

The sound of Frankie's 'entrance music' distracted me. They would meet him, I quickly realized. And they stood right in front of his elevator!

When the elevator reached this floor, it opened. The two 'normal people' seemed quite terrified of his vampire-like appearance. In fact, the female fainted.

"How do you do?" he asked sweetly.

The female had returned to consciousness by the time he'd mentioned something about Riff.

Ah, now he'd begun to sing that song of his. The one about being a 'sweet' transvestite. Soon enough, he threw his cape off his shoulders. Now everyone could see the stylish outfit he wore.

Though the male 'normal person' only seemed a bit surprised, the female looked traumatized by it all. Poor thing looked frightened half to death, though I'm not exactly sure why. There's nothing wrong with the way Frankie acts or dresses. Well, I guess some people think so- even in this liberal day and age.

Though I wasn't really paying attention to their conversation, I got the impression that a car belonging to the 'normal people' broke down nearby. They wanted to borrow a telephone. Unfortunately for them, we don't have one. We do have quite a few communicators that they contact their home planet with…

Far too soon, Frank's song was over and he'd finished talking to the 'normal people'. I wish I'd been paying more attention to what he'd told them. It was probably important.

With a swish of his cape, he disappeared into the elevator.

"Time to undress our guests," Magenta whispered in my ear.

I giggled at how suggestive that sounded.

At that point I quickly removed my glittery jacket and matching top hat. Then, I switched my pink bow tie for a rhinestone-adorned 'choker' necklace. And then I walked over to where the normal people, Mags, and Riff now stood.

Oh, how clever it all was! They pretended to be merely taking the 'normal people's' coats… but ended up taking all their clothes away.

The female began to panic, but the male tried to calm her by saying something about 'pulling out aces when the time's right'. I didn't pay much attention to their exact words, since I was too busy staring at the male's impressive, um, naughty bits (Mags had removed his trousers by then, and he happened to be wearing hilariously tight underwear).

"Ooh… slowly, slowly! It's too nice a job to rush!" I squealed, staring quite obviously.

"Hi!" said the male, as Magenta removed his shirt. "My name is Brad Majors. And this is my fiancée, Janet Weiss."

Riff, I noticed, stared rather maliciously at Janet's cleavage. Who could blame him? Now she wore only a bra, a half-slip, and (probably) panties. And didn't she look nice!

"And, um, you are-" Brad began to say.

I cheerfully cut him off. "You're very luck to be invited up to Frank's laboratory! Some people would give their right aaarm for the privilege!"

"People like you, maybe?" he replied unhappily.

"Ha! I've seen it!" I told him gleefully.

Then, I carelessly tossed the clothes they'd been wearing moments before onto the floor and walked toward the elevator. I heard Mags giggling as those pitiful 'normal people' tried to get their clothes back. Of course, Magenta cheerfully prevented them from doing such a thing.

"Come along, the Master doesn't like to be kept waiting!" she said, as she escorted them to the elevator.

They walked far too slowly, prompting her to say: "Shift it!"

Awkwardly, they made their way onto the elevator. Only a few steps behind me.

After Riff poured a glass of a white wine and unceremoniously threw the bottle to the floor we started the elevator. As the elevator went up and up, Janet asked me the stupidest question…

"Is he, um, Frank I mean. Is he you husband?"

I giggled. Since when would Frankie ever marry anyone?

"The Master is not yet married, nor do I think he ever will be," Riff told her darkly.

Something about the way he said that seemed a bit more… spiteful than usual. It seemed like he was up to something really bad. As I write this, I think that it just might involve the First Law that the robot follows. Not that anything's happened at the time I'm writing this. But I know that the evening isn't over yet.

Anyway! Back to the 'story'…

No other words were exchanged until we reached the lab a moment later. Of course, it was Frank- not the people on the elevator- who spoke first.

"Magenta!" he said.

She stepped out from behind Janet.

"Columbia!" he then said.

I did what Magenta had- except with Brad.

"Go and assist Riff Raff!" Frank ordered.

We did so. All the machinery needed to be prepared. I think this project has something to do with Eddie's untimely demise. As I typed some sort of code (using notes Riff had given me as a guide) into one of the machines, I heard Brad introduce himself and his fiancée using nearly the exact same words as before.

And then I heard Frank flirting with Janet. I forced myself to ignore what they were saying. For some reason, I still feel jealous whenever Frankie still does that sort of thing.

If only I could learn to tolerate what's technically his usual behavior.

Soon enough, it was time for his speech. Mags and I had to stand on either side of him as he spoke. It was so boring and poorly written that I won't bother writing any of it down.

The general idea was that he'd figured out how to create life and that a creature will be born. Though the conventionalists didn't know it, Riff Raff was the one who actually figured it all out.

Yes, Riff figured out the so-called 'secret to life itself'. Though he hasn't figured out how to make an artificial human that can have offspring. He said he wouldn't ever try to create a 'creature' using his theories since it would not do his home planet any good and therefore be a waste of time… so what was Frank talking about?

Of course, I know now. But we'll get to that later.

Once his stupid speech ended, Mags and I uncovered the tank in the middle of the room. To my confusion, it appeared to contain some sort of mummy-like creature all wrapped up.

The thing was suspended in some sort of liquid. It sort of reminded me of the bottles of mysterious dead bugs or whatever, seen in the laboratories of cliché B-movie 'mad scientists'. The liquid it floated in appeared to be similar. And it looked dead…

Then Frank began to shout 'fake-scientific' nonsense. Good thing all the conventionalists are all idiots…

Then there was quite a bit of noise, while the light dimmed and then flickered- probably just for dramatic affect.

Janet seemed very frightened by it all, though that might've been an act. People do weird things to look like a 'proper' young lady or 'proper' guy. I have a feeling that she thinks that girls get scared of this sort of thing. They do in films, I'll admit.

Some sort of machine thingy came down from the ceiling and Frank began to drip the dye into the tank. It looked very pretty, but didn't really do anything.

At least I know where all of the food coloring in the entire house went.

That's when I realize that the thing in the tank wasn't really dead. It began to move, which is something that corpses don't usually do without help. So, it was alive.

It slowly stood up, still wrapped in the 'mummy bandages', and then walked around the tank for a moment. The wrappings on its head then fell away (with some help from Riff Raff and Frank) to reveal a tan face and bleach-blond hair. Then it made a stupid grunting sound that reminded me of Boris Karloff famous portrayal of Frankenstein's creature. I suppose that's what it is, in a way!

"Oh, Rocky!" Frank said happily.

That's his name, you see. Isn't that awful?

After a minute or two, Rocky began to behave less stupidly. He spoke about the story of Damocles and how, metaphorically, he was like that character. Though he really isn't. Rocky the Unintelligent didn't wish to be powerful (like a king) and was then taught a lesson via a sword hung above his head by a very thin thread. No, he never did.

I hate him!

To my annoyance, Magenta and I had to unwrap him. After we'd finished Frank began chasing him around the lab as Rocky continued to talk about how he was like Damocles.

"That's no way to behave on your first day out!" Frank shouted. Then, he suddenly calmed down. "But, um, since you're such an exceptional beauty… I'm prepared to forgive you."

Everyone cheered for no reason.

"Oh, I just love success!" Frank shouted joyfully.

"He's a credit to you genius, Master," Riff muttered.

"A triumph of your vill!" Magenta added.

"He's okay!" I said, wishing I didn't have to lie.

"Okay? I think we can do better than that!" Frank snarled.

He then walked over to Brad and Janet and asked them what they thought. By then I was too tired to bother dealing with any of his lunacy. So I stood in the corner and sulked. In fact, I almost fell asleep… but then I heard a motorcycle and the sound of the walk-in freezer opening.

Magenta had said they'd put Eddie in the freezer, so I knew exactly who was there.

"Eddie!" I shrieked.

I was overjoyed to see him! I'd thought he was dead… of course, he was dead less than ten minutes after we'd been reunited.

Before that bastard Frank killed Eddie in front of my eyes, the world seemed nice for a minute. I forgot about the stupid blond man who'd basically be replacing me.

Eddie sang that song he made up when he was really drunk at Granny's house. The conventionalists danced and sang along. I have a feeling they thought it was 'part of the show' in a way. A conventionalist with light purple hair and an uncanny resemblance to Granny even said: "lovely party!"

And Eddie spent those last few moments of his life riding his motorcycle around the room, singing, and kissing me.

Well, actually, we kinda made out on the floor for a while. It was a bit more extreme than kissing. I think Frank would've been less angry if we hadn't gotten so intense.

As I write this, I've decided that watching Frank hack Eddie to death is probably the worst thing that's happened to me. Actually, the worst thing that's ever happened might be the stun ray killing my baby.

Either way, it's Frank's fault.

After basically saying that Eddie was worthless and his death didn't matter, Frank proceeded to have some sort of fake wedding ceremony between Rocky the Idiot and himself. Lots of confetti was thrown and everyone seemed so bloody cheerful.

I hate him!

God, I sound like a bitch. I suppose I'm just in a horrible mood. Writing about such things just makes me so bloody angry!

For now, I'll try not to think about all that. I've got to finish writing this.

Once the fake wedding was over, I had to show Brad to the guest room he'll be staying in tonight. Out of pity I gave him a bathrobe to wear over his underclothes. Not that he actually seemed that grateful.

After showing Brad to his room, I went to mine. There I wrote this diary entry.

Only a moment ago Magenta entered the room looking suspiciously happy. Now she says there's something on the television that will really cheer me up. I can't help but wonder what it is… so I'll stop writing now.

- Columbia (a groupie)

We're past 40K words! Before this story, the longest thing I'd written was just 27K words...

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