Ushio
It's been three months. Three whole months since we escaped from the monster's deadly grip. Three whole months since I sat on the memories rock. Three whole months since I kept my newly-known identity away from her. For three whole month, I've tried to kept the cat in the bag, the entire period, the cat tried to escape. Finally, I feel that I couldn't kept the cat in the bag, I needed to spill the beans, it's time for me to come clean...
The sky was filled with an array of warm colour, mixed and constructed to perfection. A splendid blend of electric crimson, amber and mikado yellow stand out in the sky, like a master piece. The clouds simply reflected the awesome combination to made it a thousand times more beautiful.
I sat down on a rock, Nagisa sat down close to me. We have developed a kind of deep friendship from the start since we were alone and lonely, but now I knew our friendship weren't meant to be, instead we were something more, something more to just friend, way more than BFF,...
"Nagisa..."
"Hai" She turned around and looked at me, her eyes filled with grieve, yet somehow managed to give me a small smile.
"Do... you mind me telling you a story"
"um... yes... i mean no"
" This story is about a little girl. Her family was filled with bless and happiness before she came. She met a great struggle of four hours at birth. When she came into the world, her mother passed away due to sheer exhaustion. She never got to know her mother much. Her father left her right after her mother's death. Leaving her with her grandparents. As the years passed, she longed for her father and mother. She could not bear it. She watched as her classmates kisses goodbyes and hug their parents. She watched their parents showering them back with love, waving and looking back dearly, catches their 'flying' kisses every day before playgroup start. She watched them flung at their parents who came to pick them up day by day, never failing. Her classmates delighted face when they saw their parent, how she long for it. Yes, she love her grandparents after all, but it was not the same kind of love her classmates had. She was the brightest christmas light in her class, a pity she was the loneliest of them all. She was lonely in the inside and she kept it that way. She bears the deepest grudges to god, for not giving her a perfect family."
Nagisa
This story...
Ushio
"Then, one late night, she was awoken by a soft muffing sound. Being a dauntless kid, she walk towards the sound. She recognised almost immediately, it was her san-grandmother's and...her grandfather. Their conversation was heard clearly by her. Her ears burned and her eyes drowned in tears. She heard the ugly truth. She knew the problem. It was her. She was the problem. It was her. She caused her mother's death, and her father's departure. It was her fault. Her grandparent didn't said it that way, but she knew. It was entirely her fault. She realised that if she was not born, her parents would still be enjoying happiness. Being in this world was the biggest mistake she made, and the punishment was the loneliest she faced."
"In that same city, her father was there all the time, avoiding her by means due to the close resembling she had with her mother. They looked exactly alike, apart from the fact that she was younger, cuter, and loses the little antennae-like strand of hair on her forehead. Either than that, they look identical. Meanwhile, his father turned to smoking and drinking to drown his sorrow away. He did not care about anything anymore. He brushed away his friends and turned away from families. He shut himself in a conner, unable to face the world for what he done. Resorting to smoking and drinking to push away all the guilt and problems from his life temporarily."
Nagisa
Could Ushio be telling me her story?
Ushio
"It was until one day, when her grandmother decided to get them together. She told her father that he had planned a vacation for four and wanted him to go. Reluctantly, her father agreed. Her grandparents then left her with a letter that says that they were unable to go for the vacation and wanted her father to bring her there. She was on cloud nine and waited at the door an hour before the time scheduled for her father to come."
"Her father came, an hour after the scheduled timing of 8 o'clock, totally disinterested. He saw the note and was about to leave. But, he couldn't. He couldn't just leave a little child unattended."
"The little child took a shy peek at her father. Knowing that her father wanted nothing of her what-so-ever, she went around the house, in an attempt of avoiding her father. She was scared yet disheartened. She had wanted to met her father for ages and when the opportunity finally knocks, she couldn't answer."
"Her father eventually caught up with her. She took a good look at her father. Her father looked terrible, all run down, stinks, followed by a thick aurora of stinking smoke."
"Then, lunch time came, her grandparents have not come back. Her father cooked them fried rice. She ate a mouthful of it. It taste different, but delicious. She wanted to just tell her father that it was the most delicious meal ever, but she chickened out and said bitter instead. She mumbled out 'rice' to gain some courage. Her father thought she wanted rice, and she just manage to nod her head. Her father made her plain rice and she forced herself to push away the delicious fried rice. Her father told her that he could not let her have just plain rice as it would be child abuse. She sprinkled her rice with rice seasoning. She ate a mouthful. Delicious. She knew it would taste nice without the rice seasoning. The rice seasoning was just icing on top of the cake."
"Somehow, her father decided to bring her to the trip. She happily agreed even it means without aki- her grandparents. The trip was the best she could ever asked for. Her father bought her a toy robot, thought she lost it. She grew closer to her father. She knew more about her mother. All the loneliest she felt was lifted off her. All her tears that she held on to, was shed upon her father's shoulder. She felt truly free and happy for the first time."
"When they finally got back from the trip, a surprise await her, she learned that she was going to leave with her father. She enjoyed every moment afterwards. However, happiness was not to last. The little girl felt sick, terrible sick, inherited an incurable illness from her mother."
"She begged her father to take her on a trip, her father reluctantly decided to bring her to a trip."
"It was snowing heavily but she decided to walk. She wanted to show her father how capable she was. She took a step, then another, then her legs turned jelly. Her father caught her. Her breath slower down and soften. The little mist she form per breath was reduced to almost nothing. Her colour fainted away from her. She spooked her last words : Papa, I love you."
"She collapsed onto the snowy blanket. Tired, but still alive. Her father cushioned her fall. Her life drained away slowly. As her soul departed from her lifeless body, she saw her dying father on the icy, cold ground. It was snowing hard. Her father died not long after her. Of depression, of guilt, of sorrow, of heartbroken,..."
I glazed at Nagisa's face, her eyes were filled to the brim with wet, salty eyes. I ponder whether I should continue, after much discussion from my brain and a silent 'apan', I continued.
"The little girl was angry, angry because her life was like that. Why couldn't she and her family leave together peacefully? Why must they died so early? She bottled up her anger and build a hidden world where she can survive and change the situation. She was willing to sacrifice herself for her parent's happiness. She twist the time. However, she forgot that she could not fight against fate. Fate brought her parents together and history was about to repeat itself. She wouldn't. She couldn't. Using the light she collected on her world, she create a miracle. However, the miracle was not strong enough to prevent her mother from dying, it was only enough to make her mother fall into a comma and into her world."
Nagisa
into the world...?
Hmm... I wonder what it mean?
Ushio
"This girl has the most beautiful name, about the tide rises and going out.
Nagisa
Tide rises and going out...
Could that be?
Ushio
"Her name is..."
Nagisa
?
Ushio
"Ushio!" I was so afraid that I almost shout that out.
"That little girl is...me." It came out more than a whisper.
I looked at Nagisa's eyes, filled to the brim with salty tears. My vision was blurred. Tears threatened to overflow.
There was a suspense. I couldn't take it anymore. I sum up my courage.
"Mama!"
I cried and buried my head into Nagi- I meant my mother's chest. She welcome me with open arm, hugging me for the first time. I felt so blessed. I could heard her distinctive heartbeats thumping in a rhythm.
Nagisa
I, Okazaki Nagisa, will not cry anymore. No matter the hardship, I will overcome it. But I may cry in happy situations.
Tomoya...
I have not keep up to that oath since I came here.
But now, I can cry, freely.
Because, this is a happy situation.
I found our daughter.
Ushio
I looked at my mum, tears of happiness were shed between us. Bright, fluffy light surrounded us. They floated away into the purple sky. A full moon glance at us from a distance, jealousy overwhelming it. After all, it is not everyday that you reunite with your mother.
Konichiwa minna-san,
I've been rather busy with my mid-year so I have not been updating. But now, June holiday is finally here! So you guys can expect more from me. I might be doing a one-shot clannad story, so please support me and check it out(I said might)
Oh, and one last request, please, pretty please, review. Reviews are what give writers the strength and determination to continue their story.
Right now, I have 0 reviews and I really hope I will get more...
My story aren't that bad, right?
It was fate that brought us together, but your burning passion that brought us closer.
Signing off,
Angel Niki-chan