My Sweetest Heart for You Chapter 11 – Dwindling Hope
"As light falls unto the ephemeral darkness of the night… twilight beckons the call of those who would make their stand against fate."
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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Gundam Seed/Gundam Seed Destiny. I am not compensated in any way other than in the enjoyment that my readers experience.
A/N: My apologies that this chapter took a bit longer then I had planned. As I started to go over it, I thought it might make for an interesting turn to try telling the story from the actual character's perspectives, not just the author's. As this is the first time I've done this, I know it could've been much better; however, I don't think it turned out too badly either.
Well, I do hope that you'll enjoy it. And as always, please read and review.
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Kira's POV
"Huff…Huff…"
'…Damn it.'
Even though we'd been sparring for well over an hour now, Athrun didn't seem to be exhausted in the least, whereas I was already out of breath, the muscles in my legs having begun to feel like overstretched pieces of rubber.
It was yet another one of Athrun's strengths that I was beginning to grow well acquainted with. In addition to all of his other abilities, he also knew how to pace himself, control his breathing, and conserve his strength so that he'd be able to survive an extended battle. It was an incredible skill, one that even enabled him to emerge triumphant against someone who was more powerful than he was…
I could feel my heavy breaths beginning to subside, the feeling in my legs starting to come back. I braced a hand upon my thigh, slowly bringing myself back to a stand.
"You seem pretty exhausted, Kira," Athrun said all of a sudden. "Why don't we call it a break for today, okay?"
Tempting though his words were, they felt like an unnecessary mercy coming from someone who knew he was so much stronger than me.
"…"
I sighed some, shaking such selfish thoughts away from my mind. I knew that Athrun was only thinking about what was best for me. After all, it wouldn't really matter if I could keep going if I only ended up injuring myself in the process.
"…Alright," I said, raising a hand for Athrun to clasp a hold of, helping me up the rest of the way.
"You did well today, you know?" he said, his tone of an understanding and kind nature. "Your body's getting more and more used to the flow of battle."
That much I knew was true. I could feel the uneasiness that my body had suffered at first decreasing with each and every fight.
"Well, let's go," Athrun said, making his way to the outskirts of our training area, down the hill that would lead us back to Azure. We'd agreed to have dinner with Cagalli and Lacus once we were finished with today's training, and it was already well past the appointed hour, so we needed to hurry along anyway.
I quickly made my way alongside Athrun as we began descending the hill's slopes.
"Do you think this will be alright?"
"Hmm? What do you mean?"
"Well… it's just that we've been training like this pretty consistently. Don't you think someone might see me if we keep going like this?"
Athrun shook his head. "Not necessarily. It'll only be a problem for the time being if someone connects your being here with Lacus, and that's not very likely."
'…I see,' I thought, the mentioning of Lacus' presence being perceived as a problem stirring unpleasant feelings within my heart.
"I just don't understand…" I whispered. "It doesn't make much sense to me that people would just blame Lacus for everything that happened without even trying to understand anything else. It just sounds so stupid."
"…"
"I mean, even now you're worried about what might happen if they find out about her. Are the people here so foolish that they'd harm an innocent girl for their own mistakes?"
"…Kira," Athrun near whispered, as if trying to find the right words with which to answer me.
I shook my head off to the side, finding myself caring less and less as to whether or not there were any kind of explanation for their inexcusable actions. All that mattered was that they hurt Lacus in an unforgivable manner, took away her home, and then shunned her as though she were the foulest creature on the face of the Earth.
…I could feel my hand clenching into a tight fist at the very thought of it.
Athrun slowly slid his cold hands into the warm confines of his leather jacket, the chills of the early morning having begun to affect him. He then started walking once more until he was side-by-side with me once again. Even then, much as it had seemed that he wanted to say something earlier, not a single word escaped his mouth.
This continued on for quite a while we as continued to make our descent in an obliviously silent manner down the hill.
'Why isn't he saying anything?'
From the first moment I'd met him, I'd never known Athrun to make such an obvious effort to keep from speaking. Granted he was a quiet person by his very nature, but this was different. The 'atmosphere' he had about him led me to believe there were some very hefty emotions weighing on his mind.
My anger over the villager's persecution of Lacus slowly began to dull down as time continued to pass. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that since I'd never really met any of them it wasn't right for me to pass judgment; but… it was just so hard to accept that an entire group of people, ones whom you would call your family, would all of a sudden turn their backs on you.
…Were people really like that, I wondered.
I still couldn't remember much about any of the people I might've met before, so maybe I was just being overly enthusiastic about what I was hoping that people, at least here in Azure, were like.
Before I knew it though, Athrun and I had reached the very bottom of the hill. The soft flow of the vast fields of grass beneath my feet in accordance with the gentle morning's winds rang like crystal clear bells in my head. From a fair distance, I could hear the small chirpings of a group of birds as they flew through the clear blue sky, illuminating the vast emptiness with a sense of life for the coming day.
…Such a sight had helped to calm my mind and easy my worries.
Unable to help myself, I could feel a warm smile coming over me. The sunrises and the early mornings here were always so indescribably beautiful. I'd first seen them when Athrun had taken me out for our first training session, and I'd made it a point to stop and watch them whenever I could.
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Athrun's POV
As I watched Kira enjoy the calming effects of the sunrise, I could tell with a certainty that he'd finally calmed down.
…Even so, though I'd known it to be the best course of action to take, there was still a strong part of me that wished to assuage his feelings in any way I could. He would probably never know how much I could sympathize with his sentiments of anger towards the villagers after all that they had done towards Lacus. As one who had been there… to see it all first hand, that was certainly something that would be forever engraved within my mind.
I sighed ever so briefly at my train of thought, drawing in a breath to help relax myself.
If nothing else, I knew that Kira was an exceptionally kind individual. The truth in that he angered so quickly over the thought of something happening to one who was precious to him was proof of that.
I could feel my emerald eyes narrowing in realization of the darker truth behind those feelings.
…Regardless, allowing one's self to be controlled by anger was not the way to go about protecting those who were precious to you. To be guided by such things would only end up in suffering, both for the wielder and those who were around him. That was one of the main focuses of Kira's training, in order to try and teach him how to control those feelings.
One thing I couldn't teach him, regrettably, was that he had to come to this realization on his own. Even if I were to try and tell him now, it would lose any significance it might've had otherwise.
As such thoughts continued to swirl throughout my consciousness; I could feel my gaze slowly shifting onto the back of Kira. As he stood there, seemingly radiating in the light of the brilliant light of the morning, I remembered that which I had felt the very first time that I had laid eyes on him…
Perhaps it might turn out to be nothing more than childish naivety on my party, as one whose mind had been dulled from his time away from the battlefield, but still I wished to believe. There was something about Kira that made me want to place my hopes on him… as though I could believe that he wouldn't let me down. True, he was still a child in many aspects, and he had a long way to go when it came to understanding both his own feelings and the situation of the world in which he lived.
…Still, in spite of everything that spoke to me of the contrary, I still wanted to have faith in him. Whether it was by someone else's will or not, it couldn't have just been sheer coincidence that he had met Kira. There was meaning in it; and even if my intuition proved to be wrong in the end, I still wanted to know the truth behind it.
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Author's POV
"S-Shinn… what're you doing?" Lunamaria managed to choke out, the severe pain which she felt ringing throughout her body a result of intensifying asphyxiation.
Unwilling to listen to her words for even the briefest of moments, Shinn tightened his hold over her throat through her shirt's collar. The fierceness that lay within the crimson depths of his eyes pierced through Lunamaria's resolve like a hot knife through butter, a reflection of the terrible desire that had woken his still considerably weakened body.
"…I'm not going to ask you again, Luna," Shinn whispered, his voice filled with a harsh and hateful tone, "where is he?"
"Ahh…"
Unable to even speak now, Lunamaria struggled simply to hold onto the last reserves of strength she felt slipping away from her body with each passing moment. The lack of air quickly sucked away at her basic motor functions, leaving her with little feeling left in her arms and almost none in her legs. The light which filled her eyes was quickly fading into a dark abyss… the sight of Shinn being all that was left for her to recognize.
Even as this occurred, she could not help but ask herself the question. …Why was Shinn doing this?
She had known him for many years now and there were plenty of times when she had seen him lose his temper. After having gone through the terrible tragedy of losing his family that he had, she could understand. But never before had she seen him like this, with such a terrible and yet almost frightening clear-headed mind about it. He was perfectly aware of what it was that he was doing… and yet he just didn't care anymore.
It was then that Rey's words came back to ring with the clarity of bells in her mind.
"He didn't do this for anyone or anything other than himself, Lunamaria. He is a man obsessed with revenge… unable to truly care or dedicate himself to anything other than his own ambition."
As those words repeated themselves within her consciousness time and time again, Lunamaria gathered the very last bits of her strength together and raised her hand to clasp it upon Shinn's wrist, trying with all her might to pull him away.
"…S-Shinn…" she rasped out, "y-you've go-o-t to stop t-t-his…"
Shinn narrowed his already vicious gaze at the sight of Lunamaria's conviction. Given her situation, it was impressive that she was still able to move as much as she, let alone manage to speak. Still, he knew that this was the limit of that newfound resolve and that she was all but teetering on the edge on losing consciousness.
There was no longer any point in dragging this out any further, for he didn't take any pleasure in squeezing the life out of his now former comrade.
With that thought dominating his mind, Shinn called forth the reserves of his strength into his arm and pulled Lunamaria close to him so he could whisper in her ear.
"…Don't worry. You'll only feel it for a minute."
And not a moment later did Shinn pour all his power into his hold, his fingernails tearing into Lunamaria's neck, bringing forth small trails of crimson red blood flowing down her throat. He then thrust her powerfully away from him and into a nearby wall, the resounding shudders shaking a nearby bookcase and table.
"Gah!"
Lunamaria's then helpless body slid slowly down the wall for what seemed like an extended moment, falling in a helpless heap upon the floor. Neither a single movement nor utterance from her gave any evidence to the contrary that she was still conscious as her disheveled hair fell about her closed eyes.
"…"
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Shinn's POV
As I saw Lunamaria's fallen body lay helplessly upon the floor, naught even the slightest bit of regret filled my heart. It was an unfortunate circumstance that she had to be the one to be there when I woke up, but there was just no way that I could have let her go. There was no doubt that she would've tried to stop me once she knew what it was that I going to do.
"Gah…"
From seemingly out of nowhere, a sudden jolt of pain and muscle spasms rang throughout my arm. I immediately clasped it with my other, gritting my teeth together as I tried to subdue it.
'…Lunamaria.'
Having exerted so much of my strength after I'd just woken up, I must've exceeded my limits more than I thought. And so, even though she was now unconscious and out of my way, it would seem that Lunamaria still managed to deal me a staving blow… if only just for a little while.
Shaking my head in order to rid such unpleasant thoughts from my mind, I slowly tossed aside the bed covers that still lay over me into a forgotten corner of the room. I then slid my legs onto the floor, being careful as to gauge the strength of my body before I started to move around too freely.
I made my through the door and into the following hallway. As I did so however, I took quick notice… that this was not the same quarters that we'd established in Azure.
"…"
I clasped a hand firmly over my face, a few bangs of my long hair swaying back and forth over my contempt gaze as I realized the truth behind what was going on. For fear of my awakening, Rey and Lunamaria must've moved me out of Azure and to our temporary headquarters within the Azure Forest. We'd done it as a precaution against something unexpected happening during the mission, but who would've guessed they'd use it for me?
I slowly clasped my left hand into a firm fist and slammed it powerfully against a nearby wall… small pieces of brittle white paint and plaster crumbling onto the ground.
'You can never stop getting my way… can you, Rey?'
To say it was frustrating would be an understatement. But even now Rey and Lunamaria were doing their best to try and stop me from fulfilling my life's purpose.
'…Wait. If they moved me out here, then that must mean I'm close to…'
What started as a faint smile soon grew into something far more profound as I realized the unparalleled foolishness behind Rey's plan. The fool had absolutely no idea in that trying to secure the success of his fruitless mission; he had all but doomed it.
'Rey will probably be back soon though,' I thought, folding my hands over my bare chest. 'I really doubt someone as overcautious as him would leave Luna to look after me all by herself for very long.'
As dedicated as Rey was to the success of his mission and ensuring the Chairman's wishes, he was perhaps even more obstinate when it came to dealing with those whom he felt were a threat.
'…I'll have to hurry if I want to make it in time.'
And so, without a single distraction to sway my train of thought, I quickly took to gathering what little food there was to be found around the quarters, eating it down with a more than vigorous attitude. My body was still considerably weakened from the encounter with Lunamaria, never mind the injuries I was still suffering from from my fight with 'Kira'. And as if that weren't enough, there was little doubt that I had been asleep for at least a few, if not several days. Any one of those would be enough on their own, but with all three I would definitely need some time to let my body regain some more of its strength.
After I swallowed the last bits of food and washed it down with a glass of water, I hurried over to the closet and opened it up, a hopeful look on my face. What was within was just what I was looking for. After taking it off from the hanger, I stuffed it inside a nearby sack, threw it over my shoulder and hurriedly made my way to the door.
Just as I took my first few steps outside the door though, the late afternoon's winds brushing against my skin, a faint sound coming from behind halted me all but completely.
"Huff…Huff…"
I didn't need to turn around to know who it was that stood behind me; and the only feeling that filled my heart was a sense of annoyance for one who apparently didn't know when to give it up.
"…You should've stayed down, you know…" I near whispered, slowly lowering the sack in my hand down to the ground.
Honestly I'd tried to hold back then, if only to save myself the trouble of having another life to burden my shoulders. So why… why was it that she was trying so hard to stop me when she knew she didn't stand a chance? It didn't make any sense to me. Was it some misplaced sense of caring towards me that she was struggling this hard? Regardless of the answer…
"…Lunamaria," I concluded, the full use of her name used a clear reflection of my serious nature.
…If she were going to keep getting in my way, then I would show her no mercy.
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Author's POV
Betwixt the both of them, it was clear how the situation stood. Lunamaria, with her barely standing body, had to lean against the wooden doorway for support… the gun which she barely held in her wavering hands threatening to fall with each painful moment that passed.
Shinn, on the other hand, stood with a firmly proud and obstinate posture… an unforgiving and relentless look present within the crimson fires of his gaze. The winds which wrapped about the both of them sent their hair flowing in gentle waves… neither having the motivation to make the first move.
"…So," Shinn said at least, "what the hell do you think you're doing?"
"…"
"…Look at you," he continued, turning himself about ever so slowly, "barely able to stand and still you're standing there like you like you think you can do something."
"Huff…Huff…"
"…Hmph. Not going to say anything?" Shinn stated as though it were but a matter of fact. "Or maybe you just can't say anything, is that it?"
Doing naught but gritting her teeth as a means of expressing her frustration, Lunamaria struggled with all the power she had left teetering within her fragile body to lift up the gun she held. Her quivering hands shook with every movement forced upon them, the reverberating muscles clearly still weakened from their ordeal earlier.
"…Enough," Shinn whispered near to himself, slowly making his way before Lunamaria. With each step he took, the supreme confidence he held in his control over the situation was made obliviously known.
Lunamaria's POV
'…Damn it,' I thought, over and over again as I tried with all of my might to raise my gun.
In spite of my hardest efforts though, there just wasn't enough strength left in my body to do anything anymore, and Shinn was nearly at me. He could've taken me out with barely any effort if he'd really wanted to, but now he was off his guard because he thought I couldn't fight anymore.
…The detestable truth of the matter was that he was right.
'…No, damn it!' I thought, clasping a hold of the hand which held my gun with my other, redoubling my efforts to raise it as a last defense.
Slowly, as hard as it was for even me to believe, I was actually beginning to get a firm rise out of my hands. Just as I was about to have it up to a fair level though, a gentle pair of hands clasped down firmly upon me, effortlessly lowering my gun back down and forcing it to fall onto the ground.
As I raised my eyes in fearful anticipation of the face of the one who stopped me, I was met with an even more detestable outcome then I had thought… for upon Shinn's face was not the look of unparalleled viciousness that he had given me before, but a look of pity.
Shinn's POV
As I held my hands in a gentle fashion over Lunamaria's, I knew that there was no longer anything that she could do to resist me. She and I both knew that she was using every last bit of strength that she could muster to keep herself standing; and the idea of her putting up any kind of fight in her situation was nothing short of ridiculous.
…Still, the idea of having to inflict even more pain upon a completely helpless person did not appeal to me at all, nor did having to beat her down as I had earlier. However, if I were to leave her to her own devices, there was the strong possibility that she would call Rey back here. Were that to happen; it would, without doubt, cause me a great deal of unnecessary trouble.
As such thoughts circulated throughout my consciousness in order to strength my resolve, I ushered my eyes unto a close.
We were so close that I could feel her heaving breaths brushing against my skin. I leaned inwards, my leg bracing between her legs as my hand came to clasp upon her shoulder and push her against the outside the house.
I could see from the fresh blush that now stained her face that this was quite unexpected on my part. Granted I hadn't thought that I would be doing something like this myself… though she would soon learn that this was not an act of compassion or anything of the sort. Short of taking her life, this was perhaps the cruelest way I could think of to part with her now.
With my body have leaned so close that I could feel the soft swell of her breasts upon my chest, I raised a gentle hand upon her soft cheek, my fingertips tenderly smoothing over the faint smears of blood that were there.
"…I am grateful," I near whispered.
"…"
"Thank you from trying to stop me… but there is no longer a path for me to choose from other than this. It's all that's ever been there for me since that time, and there is nothing I can do to change that."
As I spoke, I could feel Lunamaria's ever tense body brace against me. Whether or not she was trying to have me throw off my guard, I didn't know; though that hardly mattered now…
Slowly, the depths of my crimson eyes rose unto an open once more, their all-seeing gaze consuming the sight of Lunamaria's frozen face. Despite the obvious blush that still stained her cheeks, there was also a look of near horror there as well. What in the world are you doing, her face asked me. It was then that I knew that I no longer had to worry… for she understood the true intent behind my actions all too well.
"…I'm truly sorry that it's had to come to this," I whispered into her ear, my arms coming up to wrap around her waist, pulling her cold body into my warm embrace.
"…S-Shinn…"
For what seemed like an eternity, to the both of us I was sure, we stayed like that. She didn't say a single word more and neither did I, though I had to wonder what was going on inside of her mind. If she were growing to hate me upon realizing my actions, then everything was going as I had wished it. Though… if by some remote chance she were feeling sorry for me or still holding onto her naïve wish to stop me, then she was only bringing even more pain upon herself…
…It was time to end this, and say goodbye forever…
In an instant, I clenched my fist tightly together and sent it roaring upwards into Lunamaria's chest cavity, dealing a direct blow to her solar plexus. Her mouth fell open, gasping desperately for the breath that had come roaring so abruptly out of her.
"Ahh…Ahhh…"
Not content to end it with that, I clasped my other hand upon her face and sent it crashing back against the house's outer wall. With the wood having near broken with the viciousness of my assault, smears of blood dripping down onto the grass below, I finally relinquished my grip and allowed Lunamaria's now certainly unconscious body to fall into a once against helpless heap.
With this, I knew, there would be no further distractions.
For but a moment I stood there… the sight of my now former comrade's body lying so completely helpless on the ground reflected in my eyes' uncertain reflection. …No, there was no longer any time for regret. This was all necessary for the moment with which I had lived near the whole of my life up until now.
Author's POV
Knowing that there was no further time with which to waste, Shinn turned his back on Lunamaria, picked up the sack that had been left lying on the ground and began to make his way into the depths of the Azure Forest.
It would take him a while, he knew, to get to his destination… but once he did, 'Kira's' death was assured.
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"Honestly, the two of you are even later than usual," Cagalli stated as Kira and Athrun made their way through the door.
"Heh. Sorry about that, Cagalli," Athrun retorted, bracing a hand behind his head as he bowed out an apology."
"Hmph. If you were really sorry then you'd have stopped being out so late when we discussed this the first time," she interjected, taking her frustration out on a head of lettuce that she was chopping up.
Not knowing quite how to respond to that one except to give a sigh of defeat, Athrun seated himself down in a nearby chair.
Kira, feeling that it would be inappropriate to interject his opinion at the moment, made his way over to the kitchen so he could have a moment to speak with Cagalli.
"Sorry about staying out like that, Cagalli. We really didn't mean to; it's just that we have a tendency to get caught up in our training and sometimes we'll like to take it easy on our way back."
"Hmph." Cagalli snatched a hold of a nearby fork and thrust it in front of Kira's face, its pointy ends edged away from his skin by mere millimeters. "Don't get any misunderstandings. I was only concerned because Lacus was beginning to worry about you. She still has to rest for a while yet, you know? So there's not much time for her to be around except when you two are always training."
"…"
"I was just hoping that you'd be a little more considerate towards her feelings, that's all."
"Ah, well…" Kira began, his eyes drifting off to the side some, "that is…"
"Look," Cagalli interjected, flipping the fork around her head and giving it a quick stab into what was left of the lettuce, "I don't claim to know what's going on between you two; and as much as I'd like to say otherwise, the truth is is that she has feelings for you."
"…!"
"What those feelings are though…" she continued, her voice falling onto something of a whisper, "I don't know. But there is one thing that I'm sure of, and that's that I won't forgive you if you just avoid her so you don't have to confront those feelings."
Kira's amethyst eyes widened considerably after hearing such a thing.
'…Cagalli, you…'
"…Anyway," she near muttered, digging the fork out of the lettuce, "I just wanted to get that out in the open. It's up to you to decide what to do from here on, get it?"
"…Ah, yeah… I understand."
"Good. Now that we've gotten out of the way," Cagalli continued, picking up a pair of dishes and handing them over to Kira, "you can start helping by preparing the dinner table."
"Huh? So soon? It's still early afternoon though…"
Sighing some, Cagalli gave Kira a light poke on the forehead to try and jar some sense into him. "We've got a whole lot to talk out before then. We need to get dinner and the table prepared so we don't have anything to worry about later, okay?"
"Ah, I see…" Kira replied near to himself, turning about so he could begin the preparations.
'…Cagalli's a lot more proficient in these things then I might've given her credit for. I guess first impressions aren't everything…'
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Athrun's POV
It had been a few hours since we'd come home, and for the most part it had been relatively peaceful. Lacus was still sleeping soundly in her room much to Cagalli's insistence, and Kira and I had been made to do a good deal of chores and preparations about the house so as to excuse our behavior from staying out so much this morning.
Something I had taken a particular notice towards was that Kira and Cagalli seemed to be getting along a bit better than they had been. The wall of uncertainty and near anxiety that she had kept up about her heart whenever Kira was near was slowly beginning to dissolve away… almost as if she could feel that he was someone with whom she could begin to place her trust in.
Just what was it that had happened between them to have caused such a thing, I wonder?
I would shrug half-heartedly whenever I asked myself that question and went back to my work.
Sooner then I would've expected however there came a turn of events which even I found surprising…
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Author's POV
"Are you serious about this, Kira?"
Kira nodded his head in affirmation, a look of pure determination present on his face. "Yes. I want you to see if you can arrange a meeting with this town's committee so I can discuss having Lacus come out into the open."
Even Cagalli, whose mouth was agape upon hearing such a thing, could not contain her surprise at Kira's request. She had told him to be careful about how he was going to deal with Lacus' feelings, but this was more than a bit overboard on what she'd meant…
"…Kira," Athrun interjected, "I understand your feelings, but I think this is a bit too much. What do you think you're going to be able to do if you talk to them?"
"…I don't know yet. That's why I wanted to talk to the two of you first. I've thought about it for a while now, and I just think that we have to do something if we're going to change anything in this town. Don't you think?"
"…And you think trying to convince those senile old fools that Lacus could be welcome back here will do that?" Cagalli inquired, her hands folded firmly over her chest as an unspoken form of disappointment in Kira's idea.
"…"
"It's the people here that we have to convince, not the committee. If it only meant getting through to them, then we would've taken care of this problem a long time ago, even before we found you and Lacus."
"…Still," Athrun spoke up, the crackling light of the fireplace reflecting a gentle light over him, "Kira does have a point in that we have to do something. We can't just sit around doing nothing while all of these things continue to happen around us."
Cagalli's expression shifted to a more serious outlook as she heard Athrun's words.
"If you're really serious about doing this, Kira," Athrun continued, his sharpened gaze shifting over to him, "then you're going to need our help. I fear the committee won't be opening to listening to anything you have to say if you're by yourself."
Kira's eyes widened some, almost as if in disbelief. "You'll… come with me?"
Athrun nodded his head.
"Yeah, you can count on it. If the three of us work together, then I'm confident that we can come up with something and have a real chance at the convincing the people of this town to help change."
'…Athrun,' Kira thought, a faint smile overcoming him.
"What do you say, Cagalli?" Athrun asked, shifting his gaze over to his long-time friend. "It's going to be tough, but we can't do this without you. Are you willing to lend us your strength?"
Cagalli, still seated silently in her chair, could not bring herself to say anything in instant response to Athrun. At first glance it was an understandable situation; after all, for her, one who was still a long way away from being able to put her trust in Kira freely, had to give this idea of his a good deal of thought before coming to any sort of conclusion.
If any one were to give it some thought though, it would become obvious that this would be an all-or-nothing gamble for them. Right now they had been able to buy time based on the premise that Lacus did not wish to go outside… didn't want to cause any unnecessary trouble; however, if they were to bring this idea of theirs forth, then it would no doubt cause unrest within the committee and potentially awaken the whole of Azure to the realization that Lacus was back.
…If they failed in convincing the committee, then there was no doubt that they'd all…
Cagalli's fingernails dug into the finely turned material of her shirt at the very thought of it.
"…Are the both of you sure you want to this?" she asked.
"…"
"It's going to be difficult, if not impossible to stay here if we fail. Personally I don't care about the both of you being willing to throw your lives here away, but that also means that me and Lacus would be caught up in it too."
"…I know that," Kira interjected, taking a step forward, "and that's why we definitely won't fail… definitely."
Cagalli's expression shifted ever so slowly over to Kira, although he was unaware of this. Was he really so determined to help Lacus and everyone else? It was fine if he was, though even those good feelings could work against him if he were to let them consume him and not let him think through the situation intelligently.
Sighing some, Cagalli unfolded her hands from her chest and brought herself up to a proud stand. "Well, I guess I can't let you two idiots do this by yourselves. You're going to need someone to keep an eye on you."
'Cagalli…' Athrun thought, a gradual smile overcoming him.
"Thank you, Cagalli," Kira said.
"Hmph. You can give me your thanks after we can say that we've succeeded. There's neither room nor time for celebration until then."
Athrun chuckled somewhat nervously at Cagalli's zealousness. For someone who had been against the idea from the get-go, she was certainly gung-ho about it now that she was on the proverbial train.
"Anyway," she continued, stepping over by the still crackling fireplace, "let's not tell Lacus about this for the time being. I'd like to have an idea of what to tell her before we go giving her any false hope."
Kira and Athrun both nodded their heads in simultaneous agreement.
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Kira's POV
A few hours had passed since the conversation between Athrun, Cagalli, and I. As light descended into ephemeral darkness, the stars above glistening with a brilliant radiance, Lacus awakened. Having been made to sleep through most of the day, even Cagalli could not find it within her to convince our beautiful 'princess' to retire back to her room.
As the three of us had agreed though, we spoke not a single word of our coming discussion with the committee to Lacus. Though the decision to do so had been Cagalli's, I couldn't have agreed with it more. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was to cause Lacus any unnecessary pain, even more so if it were to come about as a result of my good intentions.
After we had dinner though, one in which was filled with pleasant conversation and smiles, Lacus snuck me aside and said that she wanted to talk to me…
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After I'd agreed to talk, Lacus led me through the upper levels of Cagalli's house and up into the attic. Confused as I was at the moment, I soon understood what was going on as Lacus opened up a scenic door which led onto a rooftop balcony.
I took a gentle a hold of her offered hand and stepped out onto the balcony, my eyes immediately caught by the breathtaking sight of the starry night sky above me. A crescent moon wheeled overhead, illuminating ever so brilliantly. Amidst us, a gentle course of wind swayed… the exhilarating feeling bringing a serene sense of comfort to my heart and mind.
"Do you like it?" Lacus asked, seating herself down upon the stone sitting.
I replied with naught but a brilliant smile, quickly sitting myself down next to her.
"I had no idea that this was up here…" I said. "I wonder why Cagalli never said anything about it."
Lacus chuckled softly, raising a hand up to her lips. "Cagalli can be rather shy when it comes to telling people about this place. She puts on such a tough front; if people were to know, they might start to think of her as a romantic."
I chuckled at her words. Surely, the thought of Cagalli being anything like a romantic at heart was contrary to everything that I'd come to know about her. Still, I'd begun to learn that women could be pretty mysterious… so maybe it wasn't completely impossible.
"You've been working very hard with Athrun lately, haven't you?"
"Huh?"
Lacus smiled ever so fairly. "I'd asked Cagalli about it a few days ago. She told me that Athrun had offered you some training, and that you'd accepted. And you and he have been gone quite a bit during these past few mornings now…"
I feel could feel my gaze avert away ever slightly upon sensing the sadness in Lacus' words. It was then that Cagalli's words from earlier came back to repeat themselves in my mind…
"…I'm sorry I didn't tell you about that first," I near whispered, bracing a hand on my knee. "It's just… you'd already been through so much. I didn't want to have to burden you with anything else."
"…Silly," she whispered, her voice of a kind and understanding tone.
"Huh?"
Before I'd had the chance to notice, Lacus gave me a light poke on the forehead. I blinked, confused at her action.
"You're only human…" she spoke softly, gently placing her hand atop mine. "Just because you have the heart and the will to do everything, that doesn't mean you can. So please don't try to put so much on your shoulders…"
My eyes widened upon the truth behind Lacus' words piercing my heart and mind. It were as if, in spite of any protests I might've had, she could see past all of my doubt and uncertainty… knowing exactly what to say to soothe the pain that my heart had been enduring.
As I felt the warmth from Lacus' hand work its way through my body, I couldn't help but wonder why I hadn't tried harder to talk to her about all of this earlier. Was I trying to convince myself that simply getting stronger was the best way to protect her and everyone else? Or was it a means by which I could deceive myself into believing that I would be better able to protect myself?
'…Maybe I really am a fool,' I thought, clasping a hand upon my forehead.
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Author's POV
Sensing the wavering lurking within Kira's eyes, Lacus slid her way over by his side and leaned her head upon his shoulder… the beautiful strands of her long hair falling in cascading waves about the both of them.
Kira's expression contorted with a sense of surprise and sudden anxiety at the feeling of Lacus' body pressed so closely against him. It had been such a short while since he had felt so much more of her, and yet… for one reason or another the sensation of her body sent his heart into a near frantic series of beats. The sweet scent of her hair filled his senses, reviving vivid memories of all the times in which he had held her in his arms…
"It's a very beautiful night tonight," she whispered, "don't you think…?"
"…Yeah," he replied briefly, slowly wrapping an arm about Lacus' waist so that he could nudge her even closer to him.
Feeling her cheeks fill with but the faintest tints of red, Lacus fell willingly into the smile that had dawned upon her soft lips. It was then that, perhaps urged by the beating of her own heart, she leaned ever closer and let her head fall onto Kira's chest, much to his embarrassed surprise.
"…L-Lacus…?"
"Could I stay like this for a while…?" she asked, her tone near that of a plea rather than a question.
"…"
"…Just for a little while…" she said once more, the hand with which she held his tightening some in its grip.
"…Sure," Kira replied, ushering the depths of his amethyst gaze unto a close.
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Shinn's POV
'Finally…' I thought, having made my way through what seemed an almost endless forest to finally come upon my destination.
Kneeling before me, as if in patient wait for its master's return, was my Force Impulse Gundam. Its impeccable armor glistened vibrantly through the light of the crescent moon that wheeled overhead… a sight to behold as though the heavens themselves had graced this unworthy place with its presence.
Immensely satisfied though I was to be reunited with my weapon, I quickly remembered that this was not the time to be hasty. After having treaded through the forest for the past couple of hours, I had used up the last reserves of my strength. I would now need to rest through the night before I went about attempting anything too reckless.
After I set down my sack upon the ground, I hoped atop the Impulse's knee and made my over to the cockpit. I opened it up and stepped inside, taking my rightful place in the seat.
As I leaned back in the seat, the weariness which I had staved off slowly beginning to come back to me, I took a solitary moment to take solace in the fact that this would be the last night in which I would have to live in this accursed world that had 'Kira' in it. Tomorrow would be a day for the history books to be sure… the day in which that 'person' finally drew his last breath.
"…Very soon," I whispered, a cloud of darkness descending over my eyes.
'…I'll be there for you very soon, 'Kira'. Just you wait…'
To Be Continued
A/N: It certainly seems as though things are beginning to look quite dangerous for Kira and the others, doesn't it? I wonder how they're going to fare against the unparalleled might of a Gundam. It'll certainly be interesting to see how they'll manage to survive this one, if they do that is.
Well, I hope you'll look forward to the upcoming battle. And as always, please read and review.