Hello, lovely readers.

So I got some major feedback for the last chapter. I still want to reply to all the reviews but because there were so many the replies won't be as detailed as usual. But I still wanted to respond to you all. I think you all liked the kiss hehe…

KairiAnneYukari21 – I wanted to make sure the chapter had a lot of passion and chemistry between them so I'm happy that came across well.

Guest – He does need to relax but Dean is unstable and unbalanced so its expected of him

Kimberly316 – Damn Roman indeed!

Lauraxxx – Aww I'm so glad you liked their first kiss.

Ambrosee14 – Finally indeed! It's been a long time coming.

Angelsdee327 – Yes, its my fault haha! I wanted it to be a hot and steamy kiss for their first kiss

Raquel the writer – Thank you!

Ambrose-kohli-girl – The tension needed releasing a while ago. It finally has been

Rileyjade – Both Seth and Roman make quite the habit of interrupting these two

Lola – It was jam packed. Its good they stopped when they did as I think they need to talk before anything else can happen

Tantoune – A humourous chapter and a romantic one. I wish I had a Dean too

Crazy-wild-and-free – I'm so glad you think so. I wanted their first kiss to be a good and special one

Guest – You will see some of the aftermath now

LadyShadows410 – Hot and steamy… until Roman stopped them!

Guest – We'll find that out in due time hehe

Beautifultragedyxxx – I wanted it to be special and I thought a New Years countdown would be a perfect setting

2112brittbritt – Yeah. They've only just kissed, we won't be having any smut just yet. But it will come.

Vertigo Venom – You will get a Randy reaction in this chapter :)

Dutchangel1979 – Aww happy birthday! Hope you had a lovely day

Guest – Here's your update

DeeMarie426 – I'm glad you like it. I hope you continue to enjoy it.

This chapter is named after 'Aftermath' by Muse

Holly Helmsley's Point Of View

The drive back to the hotel was a silent one where no one looked at each other and no one spoke. I knew the exact reasons why – they were mad at me. Of course they were! I had just upped and left with no word and no clues as to where I was. And when they had found me I'd chosen to run and to hide. So I totally understood the quietness and solitude that filled the car.

But as bad as I felt for putting the guys through that, I welcomed the silence, because even though the car was quiet, my head would not shut up. Every thought and feeling filtered through my brain, so the lack of conversation gave me ample room and time to figure out just what was going on.

I mean, what exactly do you do when one of your closest friends kiss you and you poured every ounce of passion into kissing him back?

This was insane, crazy, completely nuts!

When I'd attended Ziggler's party, the last thing I expected was for it to end with Dean and I on a bed, his hands up my dress and his lips all over my body. I'd never expected him to be there in the first place, never mind that we would end up in such a compromising position.

But the way he touched me… the way he held me… the feel of his lips on mine…

I crossed my legs, shuffling uncomfortably in my seat to calm down the aching arousal that was in my panties. It was unbelievable the way that man had made me feel in only a matter of minutes. I was like a horny little teenager, he'd turned me into total putty in his hands, and the frustration that our little get together had not progressed further filled my body.

I agreed with Dean – I loved Roman and Seth, but they had this unbelievable skill to interrupt us at the most inopportune moments!

I gazed at Dean from my seat in the back of the car. He was in the front passenger seat as Roman drove, so I could only see the back and side of his head. Seth sat beside me in the back, but Dean made no effort to turn around.

I knew it was because the boys were still mad at me and so was he in part, but I also knew it was because he was no doubt thinking hard about what had happened just as I was. After everything Dean and I had been through and the closeness we had, kissing was a pretty big thing for us.

Dean and I had chemistry; you'd have to be blind not to see it. I knew it, he clearly knew it, pretty much everyone who knew us could see we had a connection. What that connection was, I hadn't known… well, I hadn't known till tonight. I'd always thought it was friendship. Sure, he was insanely hot and I liked to check him out when he wasn't looking, but I'd never realised it was more than friendship.

We'd had our moments in the past such as our moment in the meadow in Connecticut or the closeness in his apartment in Vegas, but I'd always figured we had been caught up in a moment, especially as neither of us played on what happened afterwards. We had simply returned to our friendly ways and never pushed anything further.

But tonight… the relief upon finding me, the anger that he didn't know where I was, the kiss, the touching on the bed… it fully affirmed to me what that connection had been all along.

It had been attraction. It had been desire. It had been a magnetic pull. It had been a connection far stronger than friendship.

I watched him as the car drove. I gazed at how his fluffy brown hair fell on his head, I checked out his profile, seeing the stubble on his face and the way his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. Dean was a handsome man. A vision of perfection and beauty. I was attracted to him, that much was obvious, but it wasn't just his face I found attractive. It was his personality too. His humor, his kindness, his protectiveness. Hell, I even liked the lunatic at times. Dean Ambrose was the full package.

And now I knew he thought the same. He had been the one to initiate the kiss. He had been the one to lay me on the bed. He had been the one to start everything.

So I had to wonder where this left us, what this meant for us, how we would go forward from this.

Could we simply be friends now?

No we couldn't.

After the moment we had shared at the feelings that had emerged, there was no way we could go on as we once had.

A kiss changes things whether you want them to or not. I mean, look at myself and Randy. Yes, we had got our friendship back on track, but ever since the kiss things had not been as they once were. There was always that underlying worry, that memory of what he'd done. The friendship had altered, and I knew it would be the same for Dean and I.

And even though the same incident had happened with my two closest male friends, I could not have felt more different after each one. After my kiss with Randy I felt worry, panic, confusion. But after my kiss with Dean I felt aroused, hot and eager for more.

And that's where the difference was for me. When Randy had kissed me it was like I was kissing my own brother. He was my best friend and they were the only feelings I felt towards him. Nothing romantic and nothing passionate. But with Dean it was different. It was hot, I felt it deep in the pit of my stomach, and it just felt… right. It meant something and I had wanted to do it again and again and again.

I turned my head to look out of the window as we drove.

So where did it leave us? What did we do now?

I snuck another look at Dean.

Could we be together? Could we explore whatever that kiss meant? Or would he want things to return to normal?

No. He wouldn't.

After what was said and what was done, I knew neither of us wanted things to go back to friendship. It was obviously something we'd have to sit down to discuss and see what would happen.

I liked Dean… I really liked Dean... I seriously liked Dean. And I knew he liked me too, but I had to think what a relationship between us would mean for every around us as we would not be the only ones affected. Don't get me wrong, Seth and Roman would love it. Seth had said himself how much I'd changed Dean and they both knew how much a relationship like this would help him. Plus they were great guys. It was the people that I knew that I worried about.

Hunter would hit the fucking roof, I knew it. He would in no way approve of a romantic relationship between Dean and I. My brother appreciated Dean as a wrestler, a bodyguard, and as an amazing talent for the WWE. And even though he had been pleased with how Dean had protected me that night in the alleyway with Sheamus, he had not approved of his violent methods. Hunter knew Dean was a lunatic, he knew the guy was unstable, and the last thing he'd want was for him to be with his little sister. Hunter would not leave Dean in a room alone with his cat, never mind me! He wouldn't approve, he'd want better for me, and he simply would not accept it.

And then there was Randy, my best friend in the whole wide world, the other man who had kissed me, the man who I kept dangling along because I'd been too selfish and cowardly to tell him I didn't see him in that way. It would kill him if I chose Dean, it would destroy him if he knew I'd chosen someone else, and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. It would be bad enough when he knew I didn't want him romantically, but to know he'd lost out to Dean, his arch-enemy, would break him.

I sighed.

I didn't know what to do. I knew that I wanted to see what could happen with Dean, but I worried about the consequences it would have and the repercussions it would lead to.

I needed the girls, I needed their opinion, this wasn't something I could figure out on my own. So as the car pulled up outside the hotel and parked up, I mentally reminded myself to meet up with them tomorrow for an emergency meeting. I needed it.

We were silent as we entered the hotel lobby and waited for the elevator. I hoped the guys wouldn't stay mad at me for too long. I hated this animosity and nasty atmosphere. I was well within my right to do what I did, but I knew as soon as we got into the hotel room, I'd make amends with them. I didn't want to make a fuss in public, but behind closed doors I'd apologise to them profusely.

The elevator finally arrived, the doors opening to reveal it was empty. So all four of us stepped inside and the doors closed behind us. Seth pressed the button for our floor and it began to move.

I rested back against the wall, cautiously glancing up at the three of them. None of them looked back and a pang of guilt hit me. I'd really worried them in these three days, and I knew I should have perhaps told Sasha to tell them where I was the whole time instead of remaining incognito. I looked down at the floor, sighing.

I'd really fucked up.

I felt a shoulder touch mine, fingers brushing over my wrist. I looked up to see Dean staring right at me, his blue eyes sparkling as his fingers ran from my wrist to my hands. His fingers were about to link with mine when the elevator suddenly came to a stop. He quickly retracted his hand as the doors opened and we made our way out of it.

We were walking silently down the corridor when Dean quickly turned to me.

"You should go see Randy now you're back safely," he explained. "I don't like the guy but he's been worrying about you. You should go tell him we've found you and brought you back."

Randy… of course…

"Yeah, I'll do that," I said as Seth rummaged around his pocket, handing me a key card to their room.

"He's in room 416," he explained. "Take this so you can get into your room when you're done."

"Sure," I said with a half smile. "I guess I'll be right back."

"Make sure you are," Dean said. "I don't want to be chasing you around again."

He offered me a sly wink before the three of them headed away to their room. I watched them go, feeling sad, his comment not going unnoticed. I hoped they didn't stay too mad, especially once they knew my reasons for going. Seth and Roman half knew them already so I just wanted things to get back to normal. I saw them turn the corner and go out of sight so I took a deep breath before I turned and headed to Randy's room.

I knocked on his door as soon as I reached it, standing there patiently, waiting for him to answer.

I wasn't sure what sort of reception I'd get from him. He'd left me quite a few missed calls that first morning I went into hiding but, as with Dean, I didn't know how many calls had been attempted since my phone had been off. I knew he'd have been worried; this was Randy after all. He was just like Dean; he was a constant worrier about those he cared for.

I knew he'd be angry with me but I also hoped he'd be relieved too. I hoped for the latter most of all because I'd already had to deal with Dean's anger. I wasn't sure if I could handle Randy's too.

He finally answered the door.

I offered him a warm and friendly smile when he saw me, the sort that construed I was fine, I was well, and there was nothing wrong with me. Upon his face was a look of confusion, swiftly followed by a look of recognition as his eyes widened slightly.

"Holly…" he said, his hand still on the door handle.

"Hi, Randy," I said softly.

He stared at me for a few moments, a heavy silence hanging between us as his eyes took me in. I waited for him to say something but his mouth simply hung agape, no words coming from his lips. So I decided to speak instead.

"I just thought I'd come by because I know-"

I was instantly cut off as his arms suddenly embraced me, pulling me towards him and hugging me so tightly I was afraid I'd have cracked ribs.

"Oh, thank god," he replied, his face buried in my hair, his arms squeezing me more.

"Your arms a little tight there, Randy," I tried.

"I don't care," he said, holding me closer. "I'm just so glad you're okay. I've been out of my mind worrying over you."

Guilt hit me, the same guilt I felt when I saw the faces of Seth and Roman, the same guilt I felt when I saw how much Dean wanted to find me. Maybe I had gone too far by going into hiding. Perhaps I should have cut contact for one day rather than three. Perhaps I should have kept away but still let them know where I was and that I was safe.

Considering Sheamus was still out there and I'd disappeared without a trace, it would have driven all four men mad. I realised then that I'd pushed it too far, I'd got in too deep, there were better ways of punishing them for their childishness than the way I chose.

So I wrapped my arms around him and I hugged him back, holding him tightly to show how bad I felt.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm so sorry I left without a word."

"That doesn't matter now," he said, pulling back and looking at my face, brushing a few strands of my hair away from my eyes. "What matters is that you're here and you're safe."

"I didn't mean to worry you," I said. "I honestly didn't."

"Where have you been?" he simply asked. "I've been looking everywhere for you, so has Ambrose. Shit, does he even know you're back?"

"Yes," I nodded. "The Shield were the ones who found me and brought me here. Dean told me to come tell you I was home."

He smirked. "I can't stand the guy but I'll have to thank him for that one."

I let out a light chuckle as his eyes continued gazing at my face.

"I've been terrified, Holly," he continued. "Where have you been?"

"With Sasha and Paige," I said.

"But we asked them," he said, his eyebrows furrowed. "They said they didn't have a clue where you were."

"I told them to say that," I said. "I needed some space and some time away from everyone. I knew you guys would come asking for me so that meant I had to lie for a while."

He stroked my hair softly, his eyes sparkling. "I'm just so glad you're back. I've never been so scared in all my life."

"I know," I said, looking down at the floor. "I've upset a lot of people. I just wanted some space, but I went about it the wrong way. I just want to apologise and make everything right."

"Hey," he said softly, placing his hand delicately under my chin and gently lifting my head until my eyes met his. "Like I said, none of that matters now. What matters is you are back with us and we know nothing bad has happened to you."

"I guess…" I shrugged, the guilty feeling refusing to go away.

"The Shield boys can say or do what they want, but I forgive you," he said.

You have no idea what one of The Shield boys has done…

"Thanks, Randy," I said with a half smile. "You're the best."

"I know I am," he said with a cheeky wink, causing me to giggle.

"I'm best get to sleep anyway," I said. "It's been a long night."

"You got somewhere to sleep?" he asked.

"Yeah, I have a room," I said.

"Good," he smiled. "Get plenty of rest and we can talk properly tomorrow."

"I'd like that," I replied as he stared down at me, an unknown emotion swimming in his eyes.

Next thing I knew, he picked me up and embraced me again, his arms lovingly around me as he gently kissed my head. My heart thumped in my chest, unsure of what was happening until he spoke.

"Just don't leave again," he said. "These last three days have been the worst of my life. I don't think I can take going through them again."

"I… I won't," I murmured, guilt hitting me again. But this was a different kind of guilt, a worse guilt, a guilt which I should have sorted long ago.

His words were that of more than a friend, they were words of affection, of care, of… dare I say it… love.

I knew Randy's true feelings. I knew what he felt for me, what he had felt for years. I'd known ever since that night he kissed me in that hotel corridor. But I'd also known my own feelings that night. I'd known it was only ever friendship for me, nothing more. But whilst Randy had been brave enough to admit his feelings in that moment, I hadn't. I'd not responded, I'd bottled them up, I'd kept them quiet over the fear of hurting him.

But that had been wrong, that had been selfish, and I should have told him instantly.

Instead I'd let the moment fester and grow, giving Randy hope, giving him the optimism that I felt more than I actually did when really I didn't. He should know that we can never be more than friends, even more so since Dean had kissed me. I fully knew now that I could not enter into anything romantic with Randy.

I knew now was not the time to dash his hopes away, so as I pulled back from his hug and looked at him, I knew the next time I saw him I'd have to admit the truth and let him down gently. It wasn't fair on him to keep this pretense up. I loved him but I wasn't in love with him. And I never could be.

Randy needed to know that.

I silently made my way back to The Shield's room shortly after, finding the room silent and dark, all three of them having gone straight to sleep. An empty bed was waiting for me, so I hurried to the bathroom to get ready to go to sleep, slipping silently into the bed once I was done.

I stared blankly up at the ceiling, conflicting emotions hitting me.

Happiness, sadness, excitement, guilt, curiosity, fear…

Whatever I decided to do, someone was about to get hurt and that was something I could not avoid. How many people depended on what happened after I spoke to Dean tomorrow.

We needed to discuss what had happened tonight, what our kiss meant, and what we should do going forward. My eyes slowly fluttered closed, the night's events taking their toll on my body, many dreams hitting my mind that night…

It was just me sitting in the meadow in Connecticut, the flowers surrounding me, the sun shining high and bright in the beautiful blue sky, a light breeze blowing past me, causing my hair to move around a little before it settled back down. It was rather warm in Weston and I felt so content here in one of my most favorite places in the whole world. This place really was perfection.

I heard footsteps behind me and I knew that I wasn't alone.

Suddenly, I felt skin connect with mine and the electric sensation that flooded my body automatically told me who it was. I smiled as he sat down behind me and pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around my body, trapping me in a loving protective cage. This was the sort of cage that I would never want escape from, I could live in it forever, never afraid of it. I leaned back into him, resting my head upon his shoulder, wanting to get as close as I could.

I suddenly felt his lips connect with my skin as he kissed across my shoulders and the back of my neck. His hands lightly brushed across my arms and I began to shiver in the most delightful way. His touch caused my breathing to become labored and I knew right there and then that this was a full on addiction. I craved him too much to not see where this could go. The flowers swayed in the wind.

His hands brushed my hair to one side and he began to pepper kisses up my neck, heading towards my ear slowly and seductively. His lips left goose bumps in their tracks as he finally reached my ear. His breath on my skin made me sigh in happiness and I felt so complete in that moment. He finally spoke, his musical voice filling the silence, whispering sweetly into my ear.

"I need you, Holly…"

"Then have me, Dean," I replied.

"With pleasure," he finished as he turned me around to face him and he placed his lips upon mine...

I slept soundly that night, my dreams happy and vivid. They gave me a gateway to another word, a truthful world, a place where my mind could admit what it could not in reality. They knew what I wanted, but I couldn't admit it until I'd heard his side of the story.

The dreams spoke volumes and told me what I already knew, confirming my choice fully…

I knew what I wanted.

I wanted Dean Ambrose

Again, a huge thanks to KairiAnneYukari21, kimberly316, lauraxxx, Ambrosee14, angelsdee327, Raquel the writer, ambrose-kohli-girl, rileyjade, Lola, Tantoune, crazy-wild-and-free, LadyShadows410, beautifultragedyxxx, 2112brittbritt, Vertigo Venom, dutchangel1979, DeeMarie426 and my 4 guest reviewers for their kind words about the last chapter.