Currently Emma and Killian were sitting on her balcony drinking rum. Emma took in what Killian had just said about how much he loved the view of the city when suddenly she remembered something she had learned earlier before.

"Do you draw when you're looking out on the city?"

Killian raised an eyebrow at her. How did she know about that?

Emma noticed his confused look. "Your sister, Regina, told me you really love drawing."

Killian nodded. Not sure of what to think about Emma knowing "Yeah. I love drawing the city."

"I'd like to see it sometime." Emma told him.

"I'll show you some of my drawings one day." Killian took a sip of his rum. Then he said, "Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Why do you let yourself get so immersed in your work?" He took his eyes from the city and looked at her.

Emma wasn't sure why he had asked that. She shrugged. "It's my job. I have to get the job done."

"Yeah, but it seems like you're avoiding something." He stared at her with his deep blue eyes.

"What would I be avoiding?" She stared back and kept her face as still as she could, careful not to reveal herself.

He slightly twisted his lips to the side. "I don't know. Perhaps, memories. Your past. Painful things?"

She raised an eyebrow. "What makes you say that?"

"Because of the things you say. How change is always brings bad. Never stopping to just have fun." Killian said this as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He continued. "I know I may not have the right to be asking about your life. I just want you to know you can talk to me. I don't know if I can help, but I'm willing to do my best."

Emma took a deep breath. "I don't usually talk about all this stuff" She shifted her eyes away from him.

Killian spoke softly. "I'd love to learn more about you. I'd love to help you."

Emma nodded. "Fine, but tell me about you first. Your dreams of being an artist. What happened?"

Killian took a swig from the flask. He hadn't expected that, but it was fair he decided.

"Well, I-uh wanted to draw all of my life. I drew at school all the time. Granted everyone laughed at me." He chuckled in a melancholy way, remembering the bullies.

"I drew everything I could. I made Mom and Dad buy me sketch book after sketch book. I didn't think I was any good at first. My Year 3 teacher actually was the one who said I had a talent and then as I continued to grow I began to draw more and more."

Emma smiled while imagining Killian as a young boy.

"One day...while I was home...I found something in the attic. It was a tiny book. Apparently, it was one of the things I was holding onto after my biological parents got sick and died. I of course don't remember any of that, my parents just told me about it."

Emma was curious. "What was in the book?"

Killian laughed. His eyes seemed to fill with water. "It was a sketch book." He shook his head. Until this day he couldn't believe it. No photographs with them. No letters. All he had was his name and this sketch book from his biological parents. "I remember the last 3 drawings the most."

"What were the drawings?" Emma noticed the water in his eyes.

"One was a drawing of the horizon. The second was of a ship sailing on the ocean. The last one was a drawing of two hands. A tiny hand holding onto a bigger hand." Killian paused again.

"None of the drawings had any descriptions, but I suddenly felt connected to them. I mean isn't it crazy that I loved drawing long before I found this sketch book." He chuckled. "Soon I got this idea that I could become an actual artist. That's what I set my mind to and nothing else."

Emma listened to his words carefully. She didn't know he could be so sentimental.

"I became more determined to make a living with my drawings but I guess it wasn't meant to be." He sighed.

"You just gave up on your dream?" Emma asked.

"Yup. The worse part is that I don't think I'm very good at anything else so that is why I am to take over the company after my dad."

"You're getting pretty good at it." Emma said trying to comfort him.

"Thanks... No one wants me as in artist in the world so why keep trying. It just does not matter anymore." He ended his story.

"I still don't think you should have given up." Emma replied.

Killian rubbed his beard. "It was the right thing to do. My dreams of being an artist were silly. I just-" He sighed again.

Emma waited for him to say something else, but he didn't so she said, "I know what you mean. The connection. When you see something that reminds you of them."

"But you push it away which would explain why you never stop working." Killian stated.

"If I free my mind then that feeling will come back again." Emma stumbled a little with her words after all she never usually shared things that were on her mind.

"I've lost too many people in my life." Her eyes were on the skyline and she spoke softly, getting Killian to listen closely.

"Neal...he was um...Mary Margaret, Neal and I met in college. We were all very close but soon Neal and I became closer. He was such a-" Emma chuckled but she already had tears in her eyes. "Goofball. He was such a goofball. He made a joke out of everything and through his laugh he made my life just a little bit better."

Killian smiled. "So is the picture I saw from college?"

Emma nodded. "Mary Margaret took is right after graduation. No idea what we were laughing at but it made a great picture."

"And the other picture? The one with him in front of your car? It was his?"

Emma smiled. "Our car. Except of course he went out to buy it without me so he could surprise me. I'll tell you one thing I didn't expect yellow." She laughed but only slightly. She continued.

"Neal and I basically had our whole life mapped out together. We even planned to move in together right after college. He was really excited. He would come home everyday 'Emma. Emma. Emma! Look what I bought. Wouldn't this look great in the living room or our room?' He literally brought anything he found."

Killian chuckled with her but he was aware of the sadness within her eyes.

"He had colors picked out for painting the walls. Everything was planned." Emma said.

"So what happened? Didn't like living together?"

Emma couldn't stop from crying. She let the hot tears streak down her cheek. Killian took note of her crying. It was more like tears of anger than sadness.

"We never even got the chance to move in together before he-" Emma's voice cracked.

"Before what, Emma?"

"Before he got hit by a drunk driver and d-died." Emma paused to wipe her tears. "There are criminals out there that need to be stopped."

"Did the police ever find the driver?" He hadn't expected Emma to say he got killed.

"No they didn't, but I did and I put his ass in jail. 10 years, but it doesn't seem like enough."

"So that's why you just hide everything that reminds you of Neal...or your parents in your closet."

"I don't like thinking about it...it's too painful." Emma said wiping away more tears.

Killian leaned closer and spoke carefully. "I can't imagine the pain you are suffering, but you can't lose yourself in it. You deserve to live, you know."

"It doesn't seem fair to them."

"Life is never going to stop throwing rocks at you. Don't you think your parents and Neal would love to see you happy?"

Emma shrugged.

"I know you miss them but sometimes it's best to hold onto the good memories rather than letting the unpleasant memories scar you and hold you back."

"I can't-" Emma started.

Killian got up from his chair and moved over to her. He kneeled down in front of her and looked into her eyes in order to relax her. "Yes you can." He took her hands. "Changes in your life are never going to stop, love. But it is up to you to decide if you open your eyes and see the positive changes."

"What positive changes? Everything in my life has turned to the worse." The tears she tried to stop were still coming.

Killian hugged her. "The positive changes will come and I hope there's someone out there that will make you smile as much as Neal did."

Emma didn't say much after that. She let him continue to hug her and buried her face in his shoulder. It had been a couple of years since she had someone besides Mary Margaret to console her.

Moments later Killian spoke."I know these changes you've been through...suck, but not all of them have to suck. Some changes may be...good." He was saying this more to himself than to Emma. He thought his life at his dad's company would be the worse experience ever.

He felt Emma embracing him and his heart warmed up. For the first time it seemed that his life changed for the better. Working with her was one of the best things that had happened...not that he was going to tell Emma that anytime soon.

"You'd be surprised what some changes may provide you with," Killian simply said.

Hoped you liked this chapter. This story is coming to an end soon so stay tuned. Let me know what you think.