Keep my heart captive, set me free

by The Queen of Rose

D/s AU - Kurt Hummel had always dreamed of a fairy-tale bond, a perfect, kind and caring Dom. Blaine Anderson had always dreamed of someone who stands out from the boring crowd, someone real, and pure. When their worlds collide, will either of them get what they had dreamed of?

10. Shared

We're baaaaaaaack! Miss us? Because we missed you our lovely readers! :*

Okay so firstly, we hope you all had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! And thank you for all the support and love we got from the issues raised last chapter, we can't thank you enough really and if we could hug and kiss and marry all of you, then we surely would xD

Now… because you've been good and patient… have a belated Xmas present

Love A&M

---

After the initial bumpy start, Kurt could safely say that he had taken to kissing like a fish to water. It was quickly becoming one of his favorite ways to pass the time. If not the favorite.

"Kurt?" Blaine mumbled against his lips trying to break away.

The sub simply hummed back in dazed disinterest, unable to fixate on anything but the feel of Blaine's hands, body and wonderful, wonderful mouth. He arched his neck up in a silent plea for more and Blaine groaned before sealing their mouths again, tongue peeking out to swipe fast and hot against the seam of his lips. Kurt practically purred, lighting up like a flare at the touch of soothing tongue on kiss swollen skin instead of freaking out, tightening his fingers in Blaine's loose curls that were still slightly damp from the shower he took after school. Kurt had long since realized that he loved making out, the feelings it brought with it still foreign and shocking to his senses, but it was an addicting and fascinating kind of different that Kurt found quickly that he forever wanted more of.

He squirmed happily under Blaine's weight, toes curling into the soft comforter of their bed on the leg that was propped up to cradle the Dom's hip on his right side. Blaine lost a breathe at the action, a hot gush of sweet air into Kurt's mouth as his hand went automatically to the subs thigh to caress and squeeze and knead into the skin under the thin pair of leggings Kurt was wearing, his touch burning through them like a brand and staking ownership.

"Remember when I said…" Blaine started again only to trail off himself as his attention diverted to mouthing down to side of Kurt's face to the hinge of his jaw and lower still so he could suck marks into the pale perfect taunt of skin that was Kurt's neck. "That we needed to...hmm..." he licked and mouthed over Kurt's Adam's apple and Kurt gasped baring his neck completely in total submission. Blaine growled low and deep in his chest in approval at the action nipping swiftly at his chin before removing his hand from the subs leg to run it gently over every inch of skin bared.

"My good boy," he murmured and Kurt felt the words trickle into him like liquid gold making him whimper a little. He bit his lip at the pulse it sent to his crotch, trying his hardest to fight against the obscene urge to grind up into the friction he knew Blaine's body would provide him.

Blaine's cell began to ring in that moment however, taking the choice away.

The Dom detached his lips from where they were currently sucking an award worthy hickey onto Kurt's collarbone, deep and red and blooming against creamy white in the shape of his mouth and god if that didn't do things to him. Ignoring the incessant ringing he swiped his tongue over his accomplishment one last time, the hiss and jolt Kurt gave making his cock beg and plead with him for just a little attention, before pulling back and looking down on his beautiful boy. Mussed and flushed through prettily, eyelashes half-mast over stormy greys and blues, parted mouth red and bee stung drawing in the quick breaths that were heaving Kurt's chest. He was decadent perfection.

The phone cut off and a blanket of silence fell over them, not oppressive, but instead comforting.

Kurt's eyes searched his face for a moment as he came back down to earth, expression almost awed and Blaine felt a fierce sting in his chest, a mixture of happiness, love and triumph at having put it there. At having made Kurt feel loved and protected enough to allow himself to be this vulnerable and open to him with what he felt, even if he hadn't uttered a word of it. It was there plain to see and Blaine felt privileged to be allowed that glimpse into Kurt's heart, ecstatic to know that he occupied a part of it however big or small.

"Hi," Kurt murmured to him shyly after a while, biting is lip and looking up at him through his lashes coyly as his fingers that were still deep in his curls shifted around creating pleasant tugs and pulls on his scalp.

Blaine was constantly being struck with the fact that Kurt was the loveliest, most adorable sub he'd ever laid eyes on. Everything about him was amazing, his cute little giggles, the sass he ended up showing more and more every day, the cutting sense of humor, the class he exuded naturally, the beauty he didn't even know he possessed.
He didn't know how it was possible that he got so lucky as to find the perfect fit for him, his other half, but he was not taking him for granted, ever.

He bent down and rubbed their noses together, making Kurt let out a breathless giggle. "Hi."

His iPhone started kicking up a fuss again and Blaine sighed forlornly before drawing back from Kurt to reach over and grab it off the bedside table, swiping his thumb over the screen once he saw who was calling.

"What do you want, Duval? I'm kind of in the middle of something," he greeted matter-of-factly and grinned slyly at Kurt who blushed and stuck his tongue out at him for the implication. Blaine was oh so tempted to throw the phone and suck that slick exposed muscle into his mouth and pick right back up where they left off-

"Blaine, I…" he heard over the line breaking him swiftly from that train of thought with the sheer lost tone of it. One Blaine had never heard from his self-assured friend before.

"What's wrong, Nick?" he asked urgently, pulling back from Kurt completely to sit up on the edge of the bed properly, legs over the side and ready to bolt into action if necessary.

"Can I come over? I just... I need to talk to someone and I'm all over the place right now, B-"

"Hey, you know you're welcome here idiot, you don't even have to ask," he said firmly cutting in.

"Yeah I know. I just… thanks," there was a burst of static that said Nick had just sighed heavily. "I'll see you in a few."

The line cut off and Blaine pulled it away from his ear, frowning heavily as his mind worked overtime. This had to be about his friends mystery sub. It had to be. Nothing could have turned his best friend as inside out as that blonde seemed to have in the short time Nick knew he existed.

"Sir?" Kurt asked tentatively, scooting up behind him and wrapping an arm around Blaine's shoulder, his chin hooking over the left. "Is everything okay?"

The Dom leaned back into the embrace and raised his free hand to smooth over the arm holding him back and forth in a hypnotic motion from elbow to wrist. "Nick's coming round. He seemed upset," he revealed, still frowning worriedly. He had a bad feeling about this.

"Do you know why?"

Blaine turned and nuzzled their heads together, his forehead resting against Kurt's temple. "There's a sub he spotted recently that he wants to claim."

Kurt kissed his shoulder through his shirt. "Isn't that a good thing? That he found someone?"

"It's complicated," Blaine sighed throwing his phone back on the bedside table with a muted thud. "Nick thinks the sub was in a Twisted Bond before."

"What made him think that?" Kurt frowned curiously. It's not like subs who endured something like that went around and bragged about it.

"He saw his mark. It was tainted. It's...it's not something you see every day so it stuck out." Blaine said running a hand over his face tiredly.

Kurt's mind immediately went to Jeff. Scared, heartbroken and jaded through no fault of his own but the blonde wanted nothing to do with Dominants anymore, that was very clear to Kurt, so if this sub was anything like his best friend then he could see how it was complicated. He felt equally sorry for this unnamed sub who had suffered through a horrible bond and Nick who was obviously suffering in response to it.

"Has he talked to this sub?" he asked.

"I suppose we'll find out when he gets here, but something has happened because I've never heard him sound quite so lost," Blaine said quietly and Kurt shifted closer, leaning his chest completely along the line of Blaine's back trying to give him what comfort he could, happy that Blaine seemed to be responding to it.

They were quiet again, just soaking one another in until Blaine broke the silence this time.

"About earlier," he started shifting around so he could face Kurt properly.

"Yes?" the sub asked cocking his head to the side curiously, trying to think what Blaine was referring to.

"Before we got… distracted," he smirked slightly and Kurt blushed.

"Which was entirely your fault," Kurt huffed regally, sticking his cute little nose in the air and making Blaine chuckle.

Blaine arched a brow, gold eyes dipped in mirth. "My fault?"

"Umhm," Kurt nodded surely, trying not to smile or laugh to give up the game so quickly. "I distinctly remember it was your fault."

He doesn't remember. In fact all he does recall is lips and tongues and teeth, shifting bodies and hot gasped pants for air with no clue as to how they ended up in that position in the first place. Everything but bright, burning sensation was dim and murky for those passion filled moments.

Blaine tutted, a playful tilt to his lips. "You shouldn't lie, lovely. What did we say about lying?"

He grabbed Kurt before he could even think to move away and had him on his back in seconds, fingers seizing on his sides and pressing in. Kurt was a squirming, shrieking, laughing mess in minutes.

"Blaine!" he cried over the involuntary laughter, trying in vain to push his Doms hands away from his tense stomach. "S-stop...no...fair!"

"Be a good boy and take your punishment, lovely," Blaine grinned at him enigmatically, chuckling himself and Kurt scowled as best he could with mirthful tears leaking down his temples and a huge smile spread over his lips as he tossed and turned.

Blaine thought he was breathtaking.

He stopped before Kurt got sore however, taking his hands away and leaning them either side of Kurt's head watching the sub yet again try to catch his breath, color high on his face. He didn't think he could get any more enamored with his sub but Kurt seemed to force it out of him effortlessly.

"You're mean," Kurt told him, poking him in the chest.

Blaine leant his weight on one side and captured the hand bringing it to his lips to kiss and nip at the long, tapered fingers while keeping eye contact with his sub. "I'm sorry, lovely. Forgive me?"

Kurt pretended to think about it. "Maybe."

Blaine shook his head and smiled at him glad the mood was lightened but reality couldn't be held off forever and there had been something urgent pressing at the skirts of Blaine's mind for a while now that he wanted to get settled before it was put off like their contract had been.

"Kurt, baby, we're gonna be serious for a second okay?" he ordered subtly and Kurt nodded obediently, face creasing into tiny worried lines as wary blue eyes stared up at him. "Words, lovely. Use your words so I know we're clear."

"Okay, sir."

"Good boy," he praised, savoring the title, before sitting up properly and pulling Kurt up after him so they were sitting in the middle of the bed facing one another. Kurt tucked his legs under him while Blaine sat Indian style and retook Kurt's hand, intertwining their fingers loosely between them. "You know all the steps of Bonding, right?"

"Yes," Kurt acknowledged eyes bouncing back and forth between Blaine's as if trying to work out the answer for himself.

"And where do you think we are with that?" he asked wanting to see if they were on the same page or in completely different books, in different languages, on different continents.

Kurt thought about it for a moment. Where were they? It was difficult to answer. He ran through the seven steps that had been drummed into him and everyone else since they were old enough to understand them and tried to think about it logically. Blaine had claimed him, had given him his Gift, they were living together and they were getting to know one another in all the ways that mattered. They were.

"Bonding," Kurt spoke aloud, coming back into the now and refocusing his gaze on Blaine. "We're Bonding. The fourth step."

Blaine smiled and nodded before looking earnestly into Kurt's eyes. "We are and we've been doing a pretty good job of it haven't we?"

"Yes," Kurt agreed slowly, starting to really frown now because he couldn't for the life of him tell where this conversation was heading or if it was suddenly going to turn and leave him floundering. Blaine reached forward and smoothed out his brow with his free hand before cupping his cheek and Kurt leaned into it naturally but it didn't assuage every worried feeling in his chest. "Blaine, what's going on?"

"What's the next step, lovely?" the Dom asked.

"The Presenting Ceremony," Kurt rattled off robotically and Blaine could tell it hadn't quite clicked for him yet where he was going with this.

"And what does that entail?" he asked and Kurt frowned at him irritated that he couldn't really grasp what was going on.

"Please can we get to the point?" the sub asked getting frustrated.

"Kurt," Blaine reprimanded sternly and the sub looked down at his lap, chastised.

"I'm sorry, sir," he whispered, truly meaning it. He didn't mean to snap, he was just setting himself on edge and working himself up and letting it get the better of him.

"Sorry for what?" Blaine encouraged. He wasn't going to punish Kurt for such a small thing, after all he said to Kurt that he could speak his mind, but he wasn't going to let his sub think that it was acceptable to take things out on him when he'd done nothing to warrant such a thing either.

"Sorry for snapping at you and not being patient and trusting you know what you're talking about," he answered feeling like a weight had been constricting him had lifted in those few seconds.

Blaine tilted his chin up to meet his gaze. "I forgive you, lovely."

Kurt sighed out a shuddery breathe letting the words wash over him like a cool stream, leaving him cleansed and calmer.

"Now, I know you're confused but can you please answer my question for me, baby?"

"A Presenting Ceremony is where a Dominant presents his or hers chosen submissive to society, mainly friends and family," Kurt stated from memory and at Blaine's encouraging nod he continued. "It's also where the two in the bond finally…" he cut himself off abruptly, eyes going wide and flush spreading from his face to his neck and further down beneath his top. "You want us to have sex!?" he blurted out in panic, feeling his heart start to lift off.

"What?! No, Kurt. No," Blaine quickly rushed to explain, his own eyes wide at the sight of Kurt panicking.

Kurt felt that statement hit his heart funny. A feeling very close to disappointment and hurt settling there, confusing him out of his mind. He just panicked at the thought of having sex with Blaine but it didn't mean he wasn't offended and hurt by the way Blaine reacted at his question. Maybe he wasn't attractive enough? Maybe Blaine knew he had no idea what to do?

"So you don't want to have sex with me?" he found himself saying out loud, unable to mask how he was feeling when it came out in his voice.

Blaine almost choked on his own tongue. Why did it feel like he couldn't win here?

"You don't wa-"

"Listen to me," he ordered cutting in and Kurt snapped his mouth shut. "Good, now breathe. Better baby. Good boy..." he coached until Kurt was somewhat in control again. "Okay, now let's start again shall we?"

"Yeah," Kurt agreed lamely.

"I'll clear up one thing right away. Yes. I do want to have sex with you, Kurt. You're mine and you're stunning and I want you so god damned much, all the freaking time," he told him honestly and passionately. "But there's no pressure here, lovely. Remember our contract? We're not doing anything until you're comfortable with it and it's my job to make sure you're happy and secure. So no, we're not having sex just yet, but yes I want you."

The words settled better for Kurt but there was still a few lingering doubts caused by his innocent insecurity in this particular aspect of their relationship. He'd just adjusted to making out and jumping from that to sex was a huge freaking deal. "But you just brought up the Presenting Ceremony and you have to on that night, they told us," Kurt frowned.

"You know I'm not one for the rules, lovely," Blaine winked. "Besides, it's customary to seal the bond on that night, you don't have to, we could do something else? Try something out instead of actual sex. We have all the time in the world to get to that step after," he smiled softly.

"Try something out?" Kurt asked hesitantly, heart hammering and throat dry. He licked his lips nervously.

"Sex isn't just penetration," Blaine explained and watched Kurt's whole face completely flame bright pink before he covered it with his hands. There was a reason why he avoided this lesson in school. Why he avoided it in most every conversation.

Blaine seemed to be plucking the thoughts straight out of his head. "Kurt... intimacy can be loads of things. It can be touching," he explained softly grasping his fingers and pulling them away so he had to look into that molten golden gaze. "It can be kissing," he laid a soft kiss to his lips, which was as gentle as butterfly wings. "It can be with clothes on, clothes off, clothes half on, half off," he smirked the last knowing he was painting a picture that Kurt was suddenly, visibly, enthralled with.

No longer was this prospect scary and crass to Kurt, but instead wanted and beautiful. Kurt was sure he wasn't ready for sex, but maybe he was ready for something else. Something closer and intense and magical. He felt all those things hovering in the air when they kissed, a promise of more and better tempting him further. "And you'll teach me?" he asked breathlessly and watched as Blaine's eyes dilated like he'd just taken a hit of something.

"God, Kurt, yes... yes I'll teach you beautiful boy," he said lowly and gravelly hovering over his lips, noses slotting side by side but eyes still intent on one another, so close they could see each individual lash and fleck of color.

"When?" Kurt asked grasping Blaine's collar between needy fingers, body trembling and the now familiar heat of what he knew was arousal pooling low in his stomach. It was a revelation.

"Soon, but we'd need time to prepare. Give the people we invited notice, order flowers and pick color schemes," Blaine replied. "But soon."

The last was filled with pure need and it spilled over onto Kurt, he fluttered his eyes closed finally, a submissive keen settling in his throat which Blaine answered strongly with his lips until something else caught Kurt's attention.

"Sir?" he asked sweetly and Blaine hummed in response as he nibbled his neck "Can I help pick the color scheme?"

There was a moment of silence and then Blaine growled a laugh, shoulders shaking and white teeth shining.

"I think it's safe to say you can pick that alone since I have no idea what's cool and nice looking. So knock yourself out," he said and Kurt clapped excitedly, making Blaine chuckle as he watched him bounce on the bed happily and he couldn't help but lean in and claim his lips again, lowering him back on the bed and covering his body with his own as he explored his mouth.

The chime of the doorbell rang through the large house interrupted them after a few moments.

Blaine pulled away very reluctantly with a sigh. "It's like he plans it," he grumbled, feeling far too overheated and uncomfortable in his sweats, fire still running through his veins from Kurt's close proximity. His sub was like a supernova.

Kurt swallowed and tried to compose himself, following Blaine off the bed and taking his hand when it was offered. They made their way towards the door and by the time they reached it, Kurt had found a steadier state of mind and body. They had to help Nick after all, his raging hormones could wait.

The saddened, ragged Dom they opened the door to was not the goofy upbeat Dom Kurt had known from the first time he'd met him. Blaine was right to be concerned it seemed, whatever it was had hit Nick hard.

"Hey guys," Nick smiled, but it was weighted like everything else seemed to be on him.

"Hi, Nick," Kurt smiled softly at him while Blaine clapped his best friend on the shoulder and ushered him in closing the door behind him.

They ended up in the smaller living room that everyone favored and Kurt had just come back with coffee for everyone before taking his seat curled up into Blaine's side with his legs under him, cradling his mug in both hands.

Nick hadn't started a conversation yet and both Blaine and Kurt were waiting patiently for him to arrange his thoughts while crappy shows played on the TV.
They knew that asking him questions might not end well because as open and outgoing Nick seemed to be most of the time he just didn't share when it came to the mysterious sub he had obviously fallen for.

"He said no," a sudden voice startled Kurt and Blaine from pretending to watch a silly sit com and they turned to the other Dom.
Nick sat on the sofa, elbows resting on his knees and face hidden inside his palms muffling his voice but the soft admission was still like a shout.

"He said no to what?" Blaine asked cautiously. "A claim?"

That wasn't really possible unless Nick accepted it. If there were no witnesses there to enforce it which he thought was most likely, and the Dom in Nick could accept the denial of the claim then Blaine supposed it was technically possible. Just like it would have been possible for Kurt to opt out of theirs if that's what he had wanted to do with his Gift. Blaine pushed that particular train of thought aside. He didn't want to go there ever again, didn't want to relive just how close he'd thought he'd been to losing Kurt forever.

Nick ran a hand through his hair haphazardly leaving it standing up in every direction uncaringly as he sunk lower into the armchair he was sat in. "He said no to even trying," he revealed then sat bolt upright a minute later, eyes flashing with the depth of the feelings slamming at his insides. "And you know what kills me the most is that I know we'd be perfect together. I know it! I'd take such good care of him, love him right, treat him like the angel he is. But I can't push and I won't force anything on him. I won't do that to him," he whispered the last and collapsed back in on himself again.

He knew Jeff wasn't indifferent to him. The picture told him that and yes it gave him a shred of hope, but how was he supposed to deal with the situation? His optimism had swiftly faded into pessimism as the hours ticked on. He wouldn't force attention onto Jeff, make that angel cry again, he couldn't do it. But he couldn't leave him alone either. He was stuck in the worst catch twenty two.

"Nick, I'm sorry man," Blaine said, not knowing what else he could say. Should he tell him to keep trying? Should he tell him there were more fish in the sea? "Are you sure that it's done though?"

"He told me flat out he doesn't want another bond. Doesn't want anything to do with another Dom, he just wants to be left alone," Nick repeated numbly. Kurt furrowed his brow, the words sounding eerily familiar. "He was crying, B. I did that. I made him cry, just like some other asshole did."

"It probably wasn't you, Nick," Kurt told him knowingly. "He probably just panicked and it all came rushing out of him at once. All that hurt, all the pain he'd been bottling up."

Nick stared at him curiously. "How do you know that?"

"Because my best friend is in a similar situation," Kurt said sadly and Blaine laid a kiss to his hair in comfort.

"Jeff's a fighter, lovely. He'll be alright in the end," Blaine told him.

Nick's head almost spun off his shoulders. "Did you just say, Jeff?" Kurt blew on his coffee mug then sipped with a hum of acknowledgment. "Jeff Sterling?"

Kurt nearly choked on the liquid as it suddenly slammed together inside his head. "You want to claim, Jeff! My Jeff?!" he got out.

Blaine knew that if any other Dom had said 'my Jeff' then Nick probably would have lost it a little, as it was his best friend was simply sitting there and staring at Kurt like he was the second coming.

"He's your best friend?" he asked dazed. "The one you asked to board at Dalton as your Gift from Blaine?"

Kurt was hardly registering what the Dom was saying as he rushed to his feet. "I need to see him. He's probably freaking out!"

Blaine rose after him taking the hot, half full mug and placing it on the side next to his. "Calm down, lovely," he ordered.

"No I have to get to him now," he said turning furiously towards Nick and pointing angrily. "I swear to god if you hurt him…I'll…I'll..."

Blaine stepped up at his words, looming over his sub and taking his hand.

"Kurt, sit down," he commanded as gently as possible while still making sure to make the order noticeable.

The subs shoulders hunched and his back tensed as he fought with his own body, torn between going to find his friend and comforting him, and obeying his Dom. Finally he sat back down stiffly, glaring around and looking for a way to break away from them and get to Jeff.

"Okay, Kurt, baby I know you want to find Jeff and make sure he's okay and I promise, as soon as you hear the whole story from Nick, you're free to go. Okay?" he asked and looked between his best friend who's horrified expression still portrayed the shock of Kurt's outburst, and his sub who was trembling in silent fear and throwing hateful looks at Nick that concerned Blaine.

He felt bad for Nick but at the same time elated. Jeff was an amazing sub, but he obviously did have baggage and issues by the truckload. This wasn't going to be easy on either of them if they actually went ahead… which seemed unlikely as of yet.

"I'll tell him everything if he'll give me a chance to explain," Nick said and Blaine nodded.

"Kurt?" he asked and the sub looked at him, struggling to remain respectful and calm.

"Yeah, okay," he murmured finally and both Dom's sighed in relief before Blaine motioned to Nick to explain himself, sitting himself back down next to Kurt and laying his hand over his knee comfortingly.

"Okay um...Kurt, the first thing I want you to know is that I would never, EVER, hurt Jeff. I…I wasn't lying when I said I just want to take care of him and love him...god I want to see him smile and sleep peacefully and relax around others. I want him happy, I promise you," he said, despair and bone deep sadness etched into his words and Kurt felt his face soften.

This was Nick, he reminded himself. Kind, idiot, lovable Nick. And while he might not have known the man for that long, he just knew that Nick didn't mean harm for his friend, it just wasn't in the Dom. But that didn't mean he was completely Team Nick here, Jeff's interests and feelings would always come first for him in this situation no matter how much he liked the Dominant.

Sighing out the anger, Kurt tentatively reached out a hand to touch Nick's.

"I'm sorry I reacted the way I did, I know you wouldn't hurt him. I just worry about him. He's been through so much...and no I'm not going to tell you what happened because it's his story to tell if he so chooses," Kurt said sternly and Nick nodded in quiet acceptance though he was burning with the need to know, to fix, to make it better.

"Now tell me. What exactly happened between the two of you?" Kurt asked and after taking a deep breath Nick launched into a story; telling him of the first time he ever saw him, of the first time he realized he was everything he had ever wanted, of how his smile made him tingle and how his voice haunted his dreams.

He told Kurt of the chocolate cups and the notes and consequentially, the conversation he had with the beautiful blonde that led to him breaking down and seeking advice from his best friend.

Kurt sat silent, stunned, hopeful and scared all at the same time.

He couldn't count how many times he had wished Jeff belonged to someone as sweet and as laid back as Nick; how much easier his life would be and how far he could come with someone like him. And now the actual Nick wanted Jeff, the amazing Dom who his own Dom trusted beyond anyone else, fell for his friend and Kurt knew he had to try and help because he felt, somewhere deep in his bones that they were right for each other.

"I believe you," he said finally and Nick looked at him gratefully, tension draining out of his weary face and hunched shoulders.

"Thank you," he breathed out and Kurt half smiled.

"And I'm gonna try and help you any way I can if I get the feeling there could be something there on Jeff's side," he promised and Nick stood up, wrapping him in his arms quickly, and releasing him as soon as he heard Blaine's growl.

"I don't want to force him to do anything, I… I know he's been through a lot and he already said he wanted me to stay away so I don't know how-" he started sadly but Kurt shook his head.

"He's scared and he needs time. He's gonna fight this tooth and nail Nick and it's gonna be hard. If he says back off you do, if he's pushing you away you don't push back, you stand there strong and take the hits if you truly want him... but don't give up on him. He's amazing...I promise you he's amazing," Kurt said passionately and Nick nodded in consent.

"I'm aware of that. Trust me I am. You think I should keep trying?" he asked when Kurt stood up again to go and meet with Jeff.

"I think you should take it a slowly as possible...but keep trying," he said and Nick nodded giving him a small smile as Kurt exited the room.

---

Being on school grounds after hours was just plain weird, Kurt thought as he exited the car and thanked the driver who offered him an approving smile and told him he would wait for him in the parking lot.

Kurt found out rather quickly that people adored the Andersons and were happy working for them in various capacities; drivers, maids, gardeners and sometimes even cooks, all had nothing but words of praise for their bosses and Kurt was reminded of that famous saying stating that your character is judged not by how you behave to those equal to you, but those who are somehow beneath you.

Dana and Jared both chatted and joked and hung out with their employees, they knew all about them and their families, often asking about their wellbeing and reminding them that if there was ever something they could help with they should feel free to ask them.

Kurt's first few days at the mansion were marked with stunned silence and half amused, half shocked gazes wherever he went, until they all got used to the fact that he was around and just proceeded to behave as they usually did.

Mark, the driver they always called when they required one, later told him that they had all seen poor subs and Doms coming into money and becoming rude, stuck up and pretentious, so they had all expected him to start treating them all with little respect and politeness. Of course they all felt sorry for thinking that way after they realized he was sweet, caring and nice to everyone and he had made sure to let them know it was okay and that he didn't hold it against them.

He thanked Mark and slammed the door shut, turning towards the building that was a beacon in the darkening sky and walked in with broad, rushed steps, eager to reach his friend and see what was up with him and how much he would be willing to tell him.

Nick's visit came as a shock to both him and Blaine because they had no idea Jeff was the guy Nick was pining after and Jeff never mentioned a single thing about the mysterious boy who left chocolate cups and cute notes on his doorstep every morning. For a moment Kurt felt absolutely giddy with the prospect, he had imagined on the way over here his friend wrapped in the quirky Dom's arms, happy and safe and whole again. Jeff deserved that and Kurt was determined to help see that through if he got any indicator from Jeff that he would want that.

It would be hard to tell however.

Nick said he had talked to the blonde and Jeff had gotten scared and asked him to leave, which wasn't wholly surprising, but Kurt knew he had to hear his best friend's side of the story, had to make sure he was okay after being so frightened and pulled away from what his familiar routine that he had spent so much time building up was.

He had to make sure he was okay, he repeated to himself as he knocked on the heavy wooden door and waited for the muffled footsteps to approach.

The door in front of him slowly opened to reveal a tear streaked face, pale and tired peeking around the corner and Kurt just sighed and pushed the door gently in before scooping his best friend up in his arms, allowing him to break down and sob into his neck as they stood there in his doorway silently grateful that the hallway was empty for the time being.

Shuffling awkwardly he managed to drag a limp, sniffling Jeff into the room and push the door closed with his foot before collapsing onto the bed and pulling his friend to curl into him, hiding his face in his neck and hiccupping sadly.

Kurt stroked his back gently, worry etched into every pore of his face as he frowned and opened and closed his mouth trying to find a way to start the conversation without sounding like he was trying to pry into his friend's privacy. He couldn't just jump out and say that he knew about Nick, but he was never a good liar and he couldn't fake it and pretend he knew nothing.

He was pretty damn nervous right now because Jeff showed no signs of stopping crying and he had no idea how to make him feel better when he didn't, officially, know what the problem was supposed to be.

But Jeff kind of solved his dilemma for him after crying all of his remaining tears and soaking his shirt. "I knew you'd come," came the quiet, shaky statement and Kurt tipped his friend's chin up to look him in the eye.

"How did you know?" he asked in surprise.

"I…after h-he left… I… I remembered his name…" Jeff said sadly lowering his eyes to his lap again.

"Nick?" Kurt asked, trying not to make it sound like he knew everything and came to judge. He wanted Jeff to open up on his own.

"Y-yeah…he…I knew I heard his name before. I just…didn't realize it until he was gone…He's…he's Blaine's friend isn't he?" he asked looking up and Kurt nodded in confirmation.

"Nick Duval? Yes, he's Blaine's friend," he confirmed carefully, treading very lightly here and Jeff narrowed his eyes at him.

"Your acting is horrible, Kurt. I know you know what happened and I know that's why you're here," he mumbled and even though his voice sounded edgy and frustrated he knew he wasn't mad at him.

"Okay, yes. He called Blaine and then came over to talk to him. But I'm not judging or saying a thing until I can hear it all from you. So why don't you tell me what happened?" Kurt said in determination and Jeff slumped onto the bed running a hand over his blotchy, sore face.

"He left me notes. And cups of hot chocolate... my favorite," he whispered the last in a way that didn't escape Kurt's notice before shaking out of it. "I…it went on for days until I figured it could be meant for someone else. And so I left him a note and gave the cups back and the next thing I know he's knocking on my door, saying all kinds of stuff that I didn't want to hear and asking all kind of things I couldn't give him and then I asked him to leave me be and he did. That's all," Jeff rambled tightly and Kurt shook his head at him.

"What did the notes say?" he asked and Jeff shrugged dismissively picking at his nails.

"Just…just stuff…" he said breathily.

"What kind of stuff?" Kurt persisted.

"Stuff…about me…said that…that I'm beautiful, and that he wanted to talk to me, that m-my smile made his day…lies…" he said quietly in defeat and Kurt took his hand rolling off the bed and kneeling on the floor in front of him.

"Compliments…not lies, sweetie. He told Blaine he truly likes you," Kurt corrected him gently and Jeff shook his head furiously.

"That's not true. It can't be, Kurt. Why…why would he…" he stammered, jumping up from his bed and pacing the room agitatedly.

"Why did Blaine claim me? Why does the sun shine? I don't know what makes someone like someone else. But I know that it happens and it happened to Nick…with you." Kurt said rising to his feet and Jeff glared at him in irritation.

"Well it doesn't matter because I…I can't be what he wants me to be. If…god Kurt if he knew what happened to me…how used and tainted I was he would have regretted it all. And I…I can't give him the chance to make me believe stuff that can't be…I can't…" Jeff said, a new wave of tears spilling over his lids and staining his cheeks.

"Have you told him that? Did you give him an explanation?" Kurt asked and Jeff froze, wide eyed and shrugging.

"I…I told him I didn't want it…any of it…and I asked him to go…he left…that's it…" he said quietly and Kurt smiled sympathetically at him.

"Is that what you wanted?" Kurt asked carefully.

"I…y-yes…maybe…I…yes…yes it was," he stuttered, nodding in determination, as if proud of how well he could deceive his own heart.

"Why are you crying then?" Kurt asked again.

"I... what?"Jeff froze next to the window he was gazing through to hide the tears. But Kurt knew him better.

"If you wanted him gone…and he's gone now…why are you crying?" he repeated and Jeff went silent for long minutes, biting his lip and clutching the hem of his shirt.

"I…I don't know…" he breathed and Kurt stood up to walk to him and hug him gently.

"Do you think it could be because you feel something for him?" Kurt offered and felt the blonde stiffen in his arms.

"NO…Kurt…I…no I…I couldn't…I can't…" he said, panic rising in his voice.

"I know you think you can't…but just because you think that doesn't mean your heart agrees. Jeffy, sweetie…Nick is a really nice guy. And I don't want to push you into anything, but from what I heard he truly likes you. Maybe you could just…get to know him better before you write him off completely?" he suggested and hope blossomed in his chest when he realized his friend was contemplating it, deep in thought.

"I…I can't…" he said finally and Kurt deflated.

"But-"

"Kurt, I can't…"

"Jeff-"

"No Kurt! I…I like him okay? I saw him in the hallway and he's gorgeous, and he's sweet and nice and romantic…do you really think I could stay away and not develop feelings for him eventually? He would make me hope…and then he would realize how much better he could do…he could have whoever he wanted, someone beautiful, and whole and worthy. And it won't take him long to see that. I can't have my heart be broken again. Not when I've come so far. He's gone and it's for the best," he said, passion and strength draining from him as he spoke, leaving him tired and so, so sad he just wanted to be left alone with his own thoughts; his dreams where he could have the beautiful Dom and not be afraid.

"Jeff…" Kurt tried again but the blonde raised his hand to stop him.

"Kurt, please…I just…I want to be alone. Please don't fight me on this. I'm not ready and I'll never be ready again. Nick…Nick deserves more."

"Okay…okay I'll leave you alone if you want to. You know where to find me if you need me…but…let me just tell you one thing. You said Nick deserves more and I won't try to convince you otherwise, you know my opinion on that particular subject…but the thing is…he wants you…Nick wants you….hurt, scared and afraid he still wants you…think about that. I'll see you tomorrow," Kurt said as he bent down to kiss his cheek and went for the door a shaky voice stopped him.

"Kurt?"

He looked over his shoulder. "Yeah, honey?"

"Is he…is he mad at me?" he asked shakily and Kurt rushed to him to soothe the fear.

"Sweetie, Nick would never hurt you. No…he's not mad. He's sad because he'd like to get to know you but he would never do anything to make you scared. If you want him to stay away from you…he will…" he said and Jeff nodded.

"I don't want him to be sad," he whispered, thinking about that sunshiny smile dulled and gone because of him before shaking it off, knowing that he wasn't important enough to make the beautiful Dom sad.

"Maybe just think about being his friend for now? Like you are with, Blaine?" Kurt offered and Jeff attempted a small smile of consent.

"I…I'll think about it…" he agreed and Kurt beamed at him, hugging him and going for the door again.

"That's enough for now sweetie. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night, Kurt."

"Night, Blondie."

---

Blaine could hear Kurt shuffling in front of the home office door for the past ten minutes. It still made his heart clench to know Kurt hesitated, doubted and feared what he might say but it started to become somewhat amusing lately.

How his porcelain skin would blush making him look angelic beyond belief, how his cerulean eyes would skim over his face looking for any sign of disapproval and how his body would relax and cuddle into his arms when they found none. It seemed more like Kurt did it out of habit these days instead of actually truly feeling that way.
The events of yesterday replayed in his mind and he could imagine that Kurt could be a bit thrown off with everything that's happened with their two best friends but he had hope he could soothe him again like he did the night before.

It settled the rage, which was innate in every Dom, in his bones and soothed his mind to know they were moving forward; they were finding ways to belong to each other. So he decided to let him vent for a while and collect the guts to knock and come in and ask what he wanted to ask, he wanted him to come on his own terms and not because he felt pressured or forced.

Minutes ticked and Blaine chuckled lightly at the muttering coming from just outside of his office where he was trying to get the contracts they'd recently acquired, sorted and signed. It sounded like his angel was trying to gather up the courage for something and he was giving himself a pep talk. He truly was too adorable for his own good.

Finally a tentative knock broke the silence and a quiet voice called out his name making his skin shiver when he heard it slip from those warm, soft lips.

"Blaine?"

"Come in, beautiful," he said, deciding to pretend like he had no idea Kurt was hovering there for the past half an hour. The sub got embarrassed way too easily.

The door creaked open and the face he grew to love more than air peeked in, a nervous smile and shifty eyes placed firmly onto it.

"Do you have a moment?" the sub asked and Blaine dropped his files immediately, waving him in and turning his chair towards the other man.
"For you? Always," he smiled warmly and Kurt returned it, his shoulders visibly relaxing and the little crease on his forehead smoothing out, as he shut the door behind him and shuffled further inside.

"I...um...I wanted to ask you something sir," he started timidly and the title, as ever, sent shivers down Blaine's spine, making him close his eyes and practically groan in pleasure at the sound of it. He shook the arousal off however and focused on the beauty in front of him.

Kurt stood in front of his heavy, oak desk and picked at the hem of his light brown shirt as he shuffled his feet awkwardly. Blaine wanted nothing more than to feel him close, to have him in his arms and keep him calm and relaxed.

"Come here," he let the order slip into his voice, velvety and smooth, and Kurt's eyes glazed over as he walked towards his Dom, a shy smile on his lips making him look positively gorgeous.

He stopped, unsure, when he reached the swivel chair and his knees bumped against Blaine's. The Dom wrapped his fingers around Kurt's hand and gave it a small tug, causing him to lose balance and land perfectly onto his lap, legs on one side of Blaine's thighs and his side pressed against the Dom's chest.

Kurt wrapped his arms around his neck on instinct, curling into his body naturally and lowering his eyes when Blaine's hands landed on him, branding his skin and making his eyes haze over when he snapped them back up to look into golden ones.

"Hi," he whispered shyly and Blaine chuckled, threading a hand through his hair and making him scowl for a second for messing with the style, before all annoyance vanished as the Dom locked their lips together in a heated kiss that left them both trembling and gasping and grasping to find solid ground to hold onto as their world flipped upside down.

Blaine peppered his face with kisses and caresses and he relaxed into his embrace, his head falling onto his Dom's shoulder and his face diving into the crook of his neck as the Dom ran a hand up and down his back, fingers dipping beneath the hem to tease at the warm skin there.

"What did you need to ask me?" Blaine asked after an indefinite amount of time spent in enjoying the feeling of his sub in silence.

"Um…Jeff and I would really like to visit, Mercedes. We...we haven't seen her in a while and we miss her. We would take the morning bus and spend the day with her in Lima. I'd be back by nine at the latest. Would…would that be okay?" he rushed out the plan, including the times he would leave and come back to make sure he got the green light. They were finally able to be in a real bonded relationship, following the rules they have agreed on and knowing what was expected and what was forbidden. But there were things that Blaine said were too sacred to be put in a contract, things like family and friends, things he shouldn't worry about Blaine taking away from him.

Not that he was worried about it anyway. Blaine had said that he would always be able to see his family. He would always be able to…

"No," Blaine's voice stabbed through his heart, drenching him in icy numbness.

Blaine was forbidding him from going? He was…he was breaking his promises already?

"But…" he snapped his eyes up, blue misted with tears of disappointment and hurt at the rough denial that meant the breaking of a promise Blaine gave to him and he flinched when he saw the pain in Blaine's eyes at his reaction.

"I'm not letting you and Jeff risk being assaulted by the curious reporters and unknown citizens on the bus. Kurt lovely, you can visit your friends and family whenever you feel like it, I told you that. But you'll do me a favour and take the car to pick up Jeff and go to Lima. Okay?" he smiled at the relief and glee that spread over his face at his words.

"I can do that!" he said biting his lower lip and squaring his shoulders to work himself up to something.
Wrapping his arms back around his neck he bent down and kissed Blaine soundly on the lips in thank you.

"I'm sorry for doing it again!" he whispered when he pulled back from the kiss.

"Doing what, lovely?" Blaine asked, eyes still glued to Kurt's lips.

"Doubting you," he said quietly, returning his head to Blaine's shoulder, snuggling closely and sighing in content. The ease in which he relaxed in his arms gave Blaine all the hope and reassurance he could ever need that they will only get better together.

"It's okay. We'll get there with time." He squeezed the fingers still resting in his palm and he smiled when Kurt hummed in agreement as they swayed gently on the leather chair. A gust of wind drifted from the window and ruffled the papers on Blaine's desk, attracting Kurt's attention.

"Am I bothering you? You seemed busy when I got in," he asked fingering the edge of a page curiously and Blaine shrugged playing at the belt loops on Kurt's jeans idly.

"I've got some contracts to go over before I sign them and take them back into the studio," he revealed casually. "Maybe you could come with me when I take them. To see the studio?"

Kurt perked up at that and smiled happily.

"I'd love that. When were you planning to go?" he asked.

"I was thinking tomorrow but if you're seeing Mercedes that's fine, we can go another time," he answered with a smile and Kurt twisted his lips in thought.

"It wasn't set in stone," Kurt revealed. They'd only made tentative plans because Kurt had still needed to talk to Blaine… they could always go Sunday? They hadn't even talked it over with Mercedes yet after all…

He said this to Blaine.

"Are you sure, baby? You can go see your friends, the studio's still gonna be there when you get back."

Kurt pecked him on the lips because he just had to when Blaine was being so sweet and chivalrous. "It's important to you and I really want to see it," he murmured. "Plus we should probably actually phone Mercedes to let her know we're coming, so giving a day's notice could be better," Kurt conceded with a blush, examining his nails.

Blaine chuckled. "You and Jeff were just gonna turn up on her doorstep huh?"

"We were excited," Kurt defended them, shrugging gracefully. "We may have skimmed a few details."

"In favour of studying the bus route," the Dom teased, making Kurt stick his tongue out at him.

"Okay. I'll leave you to your work then. I've got some homework to get out of the way anyhow and I should probably call Jeff and Mercedes to let them know the plan… or try to confirm one," he said and stood up from his lap making his way towards the door.

"I'll see you later, beautiful," he called after him and chuckled at the faint blush that blossomed on Kurt's face as he pulled the door closed behind him.

---

"If you don't stop you're gonna bounce right out of that seat," Blaine warned his excited sub as they drove towards his studio the next day. It was about half an hour from the Anderson house in a lesser used part of Westerville which Blaine found perfect. There was less traffic, less attention while they were still finding their feet and creating contacts, they definitely didn't need a load of media attention putting stupid amounts of pressure on them to deliver right away.

The building itself used to be a small old warehouse before his parents bought it and converted it; making sure it was structurally sound, rewiring and painting it neutrally before giving it to him, which allowed him to really build it up and make it his own. He repainted how he wanted, choose the equipment, remodeled the layout inside all with the help of his best friends and now business partners, David and Wes.

Warbler Records was born and Blaine couldn't wait to show his accomplishment to his sub and see his reactions to the place that he'd put so much of himself into.

Kurt glanced over wryly at Blaine in the driver seat and tried his best to cease fidgeting. "I can't help it," he pouted before glancing out the window at the unfamiliar surroundings again. "Are we there yet?"

Blaine snorted at how childishly adorable he looked and sounded, before indicating left and pulling into the private car lot they had also gotten with the building to park. "Actually… yes," he grinned cutting the engine.

Kurt squeaked happily and tore out of his seatbelt before bolting from the car. Blaine followed him at a more sedate pace, pausing only to grab his folder containing the contracts he'd finished last night. Kurt was leaning against the bonnet of the Lexus, the most attractive hood ornament ever conceived, in his dark navy pea coat and light brown skinny chino's, the light breeze ruffling a few stray hairs in the perfect coif Kurt always styled his hair into these days.

The Dom closed the space between them and grasped his hand but Kurt didn't seem to properly register the action as he took in the outside of the building with wide curious eyes. Blaine knew it didn't look like much from this perspective… in fact much of the exterior still looked exactly like a warehouse, albeit cleaner and slightly primped, but Blaine liked the edgy, natural look of it. The fact that they didn't need to overdo it on architectural designs or advertising to pull in people, he liked to think they'd do that with the work and passion they put into the place and the music.

"Ready?" he asked, leaning into his subs ear.

Kurt snapped his head around, tearing his eyes away from the grey almost nondescript building. He was about to ask if Blaine was sure they had the right place when he saw the look of fierce pride on his Doms face. "Yeah. Show me what you've got, Anderson," he smiled, a tease to his bright blue eyes.

Blaine huff a laugh and towed him towards the door, pausing to unlock the door then type in the code for the alarm before flicking the lights on.

Kurt caught his breathe.

The space was bigger than it looked from the outside, the wide corridor stretched in front of them breaking off into various different doors and hallways and the color was a vibrant blue shot through with accents of purple and silver. Kurt approved.

"This is the private entrance, we've got the public one out the front that leads to a small reception but we've just started out and we haven't got that many artists coming here just yet so no one really uses it," Blaine explained, his smooth voice carrying in the airy corridor as he moved them along it.

"Blaine, this is amazing," Kurt breathed, eyes eating everything up from the framed records on the walls to the posters of what was obviously an array of influences for Blaine, David and Wes; Broadway, Rock, Motown, Jazz and the list only continued the further down the hall you went, a mishmash of everything the men loved and it all just somehow fit together, collaborated and vibed to create this energy that was infectious and heart stopping.

Blaine smiled so wide his cheeks hurt, adding to the ache in his heart as it filled to bursting with affection and love for his sub, his pride over this place that had been his baby somehow validated in a way Blaine didn't think it could be under Kurt's praise.

They went through a door into a space that looked very much Blaine's. The guitar in the corner, a Beatles signed vinyl album holding pride of place over a small desk set in the corner out of the way, that Kurt was sure Blaine hardly spent any time actually sitting at considering the amount of junk haphazardly thrown there. There was a laptop concealed amongst that junk and song books and music sheets scattered around every visible surface including the comfortable looking black sofa, some other peoples, some Blaine's himself- Kurt could recognize the handwriting. "And this is my office, David's is through that door there and Wes' after that."

Kurt looked to the side to see the conjoined doorway, "I'm gonna go ahead and assume that Wes' is the only one that looks like an actual office?" Kurt teased with a grin over his shoulder as he walked further into the space. It even smelled like Blaine in here, concentrated and strong, belaying the fact that he spent a lot of his free time here before Kurt came along.

"Hey! I have office-y things in here," Blaine retorted walking to his desk, dropping his folder there and rummaging around until he found a stapler of all things and held it up triumphantly, eyebrows raised in an 'I told you so' expression.

Kurt sucked in his lips to try and stop himself from laughing, even pressed the back of his hand against his mouth, but eventually it all came falling out.

"Very professional," Kurt giggled uncontrollably, trying to be serious and failing spectacularly. "It was right under the slinky toy."

Blaine mock scowled at him throwing the stapler back down before rushing Kurt and throwing him over his shoulder in one smooth movement.

Kurt didn't even see it coming and he shrieked a little, fingers grabbing handfuls of Blaine's black coat at his mid-back. "Oh my God, what are you doing?!"

"Showing you professional," Blaine said casually walking them back through the open door and along to a different part of the building.

"Put me down, Blaine!" Kurt demanded haughtily, squirming and struggling and he couldn't help it but he was laughing too, completely ruining the effect of his protests. "Blaine, c'mon," he whined. How was his Dom this strong? And why was it turning him on so much? He blushed to the roots of his hair, actually happy he could blame the coloring on a blood rush from being upside down.

Blaine laughed, tapping him lightly on the ass. "Aw lovely, I'm pampering you, enjoy it."

Kurt stiffened up, mouth falling into an perfect 'o' at the touch before they were finally stopping and he found himself being slid back off and down Blaine's body, faces inches apart. "Um," Kurt breathed hazily, caught up in Blaine's eyes, all coherent thoughts destroyed.

His Dom leaned in further still and breathed hot across his mouth. "So what do you think?"

I think we should kiss.

Blaine smiled wide, all perfect white teeth and smile lines as he tugged at Kurt's tiny waist. "Really now?"

"I just said that out loud didn't I."

Blaine cupped his chin gently making the subs heart pitter patter tellingly and Kurt was just about to close his eyes when the Dom turned his face away and the rest of the room finally came back into focus with his confusion.

They were in a recording studio.

"Oh…" was all he could think of to say, like the air had been punched from his lungs as he stared at the huge panel of switches dials and recording equipment that was the main feature in the large room, then through the glass into the actual studio where a microphone and headphones were set up along with various instruments all in pristine condition. Everything was shiny and new and foreign, it was like stepping into a dream, nothing seemed quite tangible until you touched it and so that's how he found himself walking up to the massive board and tentatively reaching out a finger for a switch.

"Blaine…" he said eyes flicking everywhere and never settling, trying to take it all in why still trying to keep his cool.

"Yeah, lovely?" the Dom answered, soaking in Kurt's reaction like sunlight.

"You have a recording studio," he informed him quietly like it would be news to him.

Blaine bit his lip to hide his grin as he walked up behind him, settling his arms around Kurt's waist and his head on Kurt's shoulder. "What, really?" he mocked surprise turning around wide eyed, and then asked playfully. "Professional enough?"

"Blaine you have a recording studio!" Kurt exclaimed loudly ignoring the jab, his vibrating body finally exhaling the tension as he bounced on his toes and clapped his hands gleefully. "Oh my god this is so amazing! I'm in a studio, I'm in your studio!" he rambled on and on turning around in Blaine's arms to sling his own around his Doms neck and plant a firm kiss on his mouth.

Why didn't I take him here weeks ago? Blaine thought fuzzily as he returned the heated kiss, trying to keep up with the whirlwind that was his sub as he broke away again to buzz around the equipment.

"What the hell does it all do?" he asked interestedly, turning a dial absently here and flicking another switch there. "You can't need this many buttons!"

Blaine smirked and sat down in the plush seat, pulling Kurt down on his lap working around the fascinated sub as he switched everything on explaining a few things as he went, demonstrating a few others on the screens and letting Kurt play around to his heart's content.

"So you produce everything here?" Kurt asked, eager to learn about Blaine's work, fiddling with the pitch controls.

"We have another studio down the hall but since our client base is still relatively small we use this one mainly," Blaine told him, leaning back in the chair and running a hand up and down Kurt's spine. They had shed their heavy coats and Blaine was left in a white shirt and green sweater with his jeans, while Kurt had on a tight cotton navy long sleeved top, a similar shade to his coat, with a simple scarf around his neck.

Kurt already knew that Blaine, David and Wes wanted to finish up school before they jumped fully into the studio, his Dom had told him that they wanted to give it the time it deserved, so they did enough to get by and turn a small profit, but it was nothing ground setting just yet.

"Have you recorded any of your stuff here?" he asked next, looking over his shoulder at his Dom. He knew Blaine was amazing so it was a question at the forefront of his mind.

Blaine swallowed as he met that clear blue gaze. "Uh, I might have dabbled a little."

"He may have dabbled a lot," came the voice from the door and they glanced over to see a smirking David Thompson propped there, arms crossed over a white tee and leather jacket, dark jeans hugging his long legs with high tops on his feet.

"What are you doing here?" Blaine asked surprised.

"Well I was actually going to work, unlike someone," he smirked again. "You better not have defiled the chair, B. Otherwise I'll have to inform Wes and he'll probably lecture you for hours on the seriousness of professional and personal boundaries for the workplace…AKA don't fuck in the office," he grinned, teeth gleaming and Kurt almost choked on his own tongue.

"D," Blaine warned with a frown at the tasteless joke, squeezing Kurt's hip in reassurance.

"It's okay," Kurt promised even though he was blushing like a schoolgirl. "I'm just gonna check out in there," he said pointing to the recording booth. "You guys can talk… business."

He hopped off of Blaine's lap and headed towards the soundproofed door and slipped inside with a small smile sent in Blaine's direction. The Dom held up his hand for five minutes and Kurt nodded through the glass waving them off as he took in the new space he was surrounded by.

He walked around the polished area, trailing fingers over instruments idly and daydreaming what it would be like to actually be one of the people who got to record their own music here, allowing himself to get lost in his head.

Blaine scowled at David as soon as Kurt had turned away from him. "Thank you for that, asshole."

"He knows I was just kidding," David rolled his eyes sinking onto the couch at the back of the room, arms slung over the back casually.

Blaine hummed dubiously and flicked on the switch so he could hear what Kurt was doing in the room, muffled because he wasn't that close to the microphone, but he wanted to make sure his sub was fine. It was stupid, he knew, Kurt was hardly going to get attacked by a piano monster of something, but the protective streak in him constantly reared its head and small things like that kept it sated.

"So work?" Blaine asked curiously.

"Yeah I wanted to check on some things, you know that big contract Wes was talking about?" David asked rubbing his fingers over the leather idly.

"Yeah, I thought he was still working out the kinks before he presented it to us to decide?" Blaine questioned.

"Well I just wanted to do a little homework myself, you know Wes likes to keep inside that little box of his, I don't want us to miss out on something big because we haven't covered all the angles," David grinned and Blaine rolled his eyes back.

"You know who it is don't you."

"I may have used some powers of persuasion," he hedged looking around the room innocently as the sound of tinkling keys filled the room, from Kurt running his fingers over the piano presumably.

"You got him drunk," Blaine guessed dryly. Everyone knew that the controlled leader of the Warblers council couldn't hold his liquor.

"It was informative and entertaining," he threw his hands up. "What more could I ask for."

Blaine chuckled despite himself, rocking the chair back and forth slowly as Kurt strummed a guitars strings lightly. "You're not gonna tell me are you?" he guessed again.

David threw him a shit eating grin. "You want it, go wet Wes' whistle."

Blaine screwed up his nose at the obvious innuendo hidden there. "I'm good thanks. You keep Wes' whistle wet plenty, I don't think I'd be needed," he snarked back.

"Asshole."

Kurt walked full circle before sitting himself down on the chair in front of the microphone attached to the ceiling and wet his lips nervously as he stared at it intently.

Just sing something, a part of his brain was chanting to him. They won't hear, it's not even turned on.

He shook his head to himself but a part of him was really yearning to express himself. He hadn't sung since Blaine had claimed him and he missed it. When he was still living with his dad his voice coming from his room was a common occurrence, filling up the house with whatever he was feeling at the time. He hadn't felt comfortable enough to do it at the Anderson residence at first because no one but his family and Jeff, but he wanted to. He wanted to all the time and he was so tempted to try and put himself out there to join the Warblers but the memory of his one and only audition for glee in McKinley held him back. What if they hated him? What if they ridiculed his voice like they did?

Logically he knew they wouldn't be as cruel about it, but it was still a fear sitting heavy on his voice box and strangling out the sounds he wanted to make.

He exhaled heavily and shook his head. He hated himself for letting them win, letting them decide for him what he did in his life. It light a match in him and he lifted his eyes back to the microphone in determination.

He could do it. He could just sing what he was feeling.

A nervous glance at the figures through the window told him they were still deep in conversation, Blaine's profile to him, looking gorgeous in the lower lighting of the studio. He bit his lip and closed his eyes and just… sang. No thinking, just feeling, letting his heart decide the song that sprang to his lips as he played the music in his head, the tinkling piano keys and slow drum…

Remember those walls I built?
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound

It didn't surprise him that Blaine was the song on the tip of his tongue waiting to unfold and he softly smiled through the lines that came quiet at first before building up into something much more. He thought back to how determined he'd been to keep a fortress around his heart and how easily it was for Blaine to breach it, to disarm him and leave him utterly vulnerable and Kurt had let him. He hadn't put up a fight, not really, he'd let himself be swept away on a tide of feeling and emotion, sometimes still and sometimes crashing around him intense and powerful but Kurt didn't ever want to be rid of it.

I found a way to let you in
But, I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It scared him, he had already fallen way past the point of no return here but all he could do was trust in Blaine to catch him. All those fairytales he'd read about perfect matches, about true love and he felt like he was on the cusp of something here like they'd always talked about, but he was almost afraid to push that little bit further to see just what this burning thing he was standing on the edge of was. It felt like it could take him apart, pull one string and make him unravel.

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm taking
I ain't never gonna shut you out!

Blaine couldn't describe just what he had felt the moment he heard that soft, angelic voice drift over the speakers to hover in the air around them. Everything stilled, everything focused down to that one single point and Blaine felt awe like he hadn't known the meaning of the word until now. His heart was a jackhammer in his chest and it swelled with every line, every soft rise and fall in tone and pitch that was executed so flawless and beautifully as that voice wrapped around words that were meant for him. Kurt, his beautiful, beautiful boy was singing for him, about him, he felt it as if Kurt had enthused every word into his skin and Blaine could hardly swallow past his dry mouth as he eventually swung to face his salvation. Because Kurt had saved him, he had come along just when he needed him the most and brightened his life to the point where all he wanted to do was smile and laugh and love and it was amazing.

"Blaine, he…" David trailed off in a similar stated of reverent shock but Blaine hardly heard him, hardly saw him, he was stuck on Kurt, like the tide was a slave to the moons pull.

He was a vision in there. Eyes closed and pouring out his heart when he thought no one could hear him making it so much more intimate. And if Blaine could have felt anything negative right now he would have felt bad for listening in on something so private, but it was like Kurt had washed everything else away in that moment.

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby, I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby, I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo, halo, halo
I can see your halo, halo, halo
I can feel your halo, halo, halo
I can see your halo, halo...
Halo, ooh oo-.

Kurt opened his eyes for a split second, feeling the hairs on his neck standing on end, a burning on his face that he found came from two set of eyes laser focused on him. It took him not even seconds to work out they could hear him and he cut off abruptly, a sick feeling jolting through him.

They heard you singing.

"Oh god…" he whispered, face draining of color.

That's all it took for Blaine to be off his chair, barely hitting off the record button before running into the studio to gather a stiff, trembling Kurt into his arms. He hushed him gently, running his fingers through the back of his hair as his face hid against his collarbone. "Shh, lovely… what's wrong? You were amazing baby, perfect, why are you embarrassed?"

He pulled back and cupped Kurt's face so he could look at him and frowned when he saw tears gathering in his subs eyes.

"I didn't want you to hear me, I thought you couldn't… the light wasn't on in there when I came in here," he rambled, upset, hands wringing on his lap.

Blaine rubbed his thumbs over the apples of Kurt's now flushed cheeks. He was happy at least the color was back. "Why wouldn't you want me to hear you, lovely?" he asked softly. Was it because of what the song meant? It didn't make sense to Blaine. He already knew that Kurt cared about him, so that couldn't be it could it?

"I have a…" Kurt trailed off and growled almost angrily to himself before he blurted, "I have a girl's voice."

Blaine's frown increased tenfold and realization dawned. Kurt didn't like his voice? That was insane, Blaine had never heard anything so unique and stunning. "Kurt," he started sternly. "You don't have a girl's voice. Your voice is your own and it's unique and wonderful, baby. I don't think I've ever or ever will hear anything that reaches into my soul as much as your voice just did," he revealed passionately, with utmost sincerity.

"Blaine…" Kurt breathed, unsure how to take it in, how to take Blaine saying such lovely things so reminiscent of what his mother used to say about his voice. A tear fell but he couldn't help it. That sort of validation and praise from his Dom was unbelievable to feel coursing through his veins.

"Why did you say that, lovely? Do you really think that?" Blaine asked worriedly.

"No… I… I tried out for glee at McKinley and they said…" he couldn't finish it but the implication was enough for Blaine to guess. "I used to sing for my mom the most, she used to say I was all the things you just said but then they told me I wasn't and I just..."

"Believed them," Blaine filled in.

"Yes…No! I mean I… I got scared," Kurt struggled to explain himself, eyes faraway. "I love singing, I feel closer to my mom when I do it and they just ripped into that and I couldn't go through that kind of pain again. It hurt too much so I hid it away safe."

"Just like your books," Blaine whispered in realization at just how hard Kurt clung onto the things he loved, how fiercely he loved them and Blaine really wanted to be one of those things himself.

Kurt swallowed thickly and nodded, looking down at Blaine's chest.

The Dom leaned down and kissed him on the forehead lingeringly. "You're magical, Kurt, never let anyone tell you differently and if they do then don't believe them baby please. You have a wonderful gift and you should share it because it's beautiful."

Kurt clutched onto Blaine and allowed just one more tear to snake, hot and wet down his face as if to wash everything else away. All the doubts and fears and insecurities.

The door slid open an undefinable amount of time later and David popped his head in. "I'm sorry if I'm interrupting a moment but if you're not gonna ask him I will," he said seriously.

Shit. David had heard him sing too. "Ask me what?" Kurt blushed wiping his face self-consciously, happy that Blaine was mostly blocking him from view like a shield, before poking his head out to look at the Dom properly.

"Wes will flip when he hears your range superstar, I bet all my money that you're a countertenor, freaking all of it!" David grinned enthusiastically, pointing at him.

"Ask me what?" Kurt asked again, a bit more forcefully because he was agitated and a little overwhelmed by the amount of praise he was receiving.

David rolled his eyes. "What else, after a performance like that? I almost wanted to get down on my knees and worship at your altar!"

Kurt ignored the compliments otherwise he'd probably die of embarrassment and instead looked exasperatedly back at Blaine, who simply smiled down at him reassuringly. "The Warblers, lovely."

The sub shook his head immediately even though a part of him was dancing on the inside at the opportunity he thought he'd never get. "No… I couldn't-"

"We just recorded that stunning rendition already, Kurt. We could just play it for the rest of the Warblers and they could take a vote… you're guaranteed, trust me, I am an esteemed member of the council and I do part own a recording studio," David cut in teasingly with a genuine encouraging smile.

Kurt couldn't help but smile back briefly before he buried his face in Blaine's stomach with a groan, making the Dom laugh and cup his head.

"Alright there?"

"Mmhm," Kurt mumbled back.

"There's no pressure, lovely. But you really are amazing and we'd be lucky to have you if it was something you wanted to do," Blaine said tenderly stroking his hair.

And it was something he wanted to do. It was. But could he really just do it? Throw away his fears and say yes? He thought it over for a few silent moments. He'd done scarier things, faced down insecurities over his and Blaine's relationship, the misconceptions that arose… was he really considering this?

He uncovered his face again and straightened up slowly. "I want Jeff with me," he said suddenly, the feeling hitting him out of nowhere but sticking and growing.

"He'd have to audition too, but sure, he's more than welcome," David said with a shrug and Kurt frowned sadly.

"He's not going to do it," he said quietly and both Warblers turned to him in surprise.

"Why not?" David asked and Kurt sighed and looked up with heavy eyes.

"I think he could be okay with blending in, and he's an amazing dancer, but the audition is a solo and he's...well it's complicated but he would never agree to that," Kurt tried his best to explain without revealing a single thing about his friend and the two older Doms stood in silence until David broke into a grin.

"Well if he says yes we could arrange the same thing we did for you. He could audition in front of a few people he feels comfortable around and we can play the recording of him to the rest of the guys," he suggested and Kurt beamed.

"You can do that?"

"I'm a Council member cutie and I say yes. Thad is a puppy who can't shut up about wanting to be friends with Jeff so he's cool and Wes can't say no when it's against the majority. We're all set," he smiled and Kurt whooped joyfully hugging Blaine around the neck tightly.

"Is this you agreeing?" David asked and Kurt gave him a hesitant nod and a small smile.

"Baby, are you sure?" Blaine asked, wanting to double check with him.

Kurt looked up into Blaine earnest, concerned gaze and smiled feeling love fill his heart. He felt stronger with Blaine, like he could really do this. "Yeah I want to."

---

He couldn't remember the last time he felt so out of place which, considering his daily feeling of drifting around without an anchor, was really saying something.

The huge, ornate wooden door stared at him as he paced the marble tiled floor waiting for his name to be called out. The sound of them beckoning would be a signal for him to enter the Warbler hall and offer a piece of himself for someone to judge; like he didn't have enough of that so far, like it didn't scare him to death.

He knew what they would say: that it was a nice try, that he did his best, that it was decent but still not good enough to be a part of something so big as the Warblers. It wouldn't surprise him in the least if Kurt got in. His best friend had a phenomenal voice, truly something special but Jeff's was just… Jeff. How could he ever hope to be good enough to belong with Blaine and the rest of the boys who were just as perfect as he was?

He just didn't belong there.

And yet...there he was….waiting for the massive door to open and to enter the room that felt warm and familiar to a part of him that still wanted to live and be, but so frighteningly threatening to the other part of him...the one that shut out the rest of the world and built a wall around all of his dreams to prevent them from making him go after them.

He was there waiting to audition for the Warblers knowing exactly how he got there.

"It was amazing Jeff. Their studio is like… amazing… they have every instrument you could possibly imagine and I got to press all the buttons and hear Blaine and David goof around and record their voices and play with them," Kurt rattled off to an impressed Jeff as the lounged on the sofa in the Anderson's living room.

He was there almost every day hanging around with Kurt and Blaine and he never expected to get so comfortable around a Dom the way he felt around his best friend's. Blaine was kind and kind of goofy and relaxed all the time and he took care of Kurt with so much gentleness and love he just couldn't not like him. Blaine made sure he was safe as well, and as much as it embarrassed him sometimes that he needed it, he was grateful for it and he had learned to trust Blaine the way he never thought he would. He didn't feel threatened, he didn't feel unwelcome- Blaine was like an extension of Kurt, the other half of his best friend and so it was impossible not to appreciate the friendship he offered.

The remaining pangs of jealousy have finally melted away and he could now be perfectly happy for his best friend and the happiness the Dom brought him almost daily.

"That sounds really cool. Did you sing?" Jeff asked properly impressed and curious as Kurt rattled a story about how he had stepped out so Blaine and David could talk business and he started singing because he thought they couldn't hear, but then they had and said he sounded amazing and that they were willing to consider that song his official audition for the Warblers if he would just join, because Wes would flip over having a countertenor and then Kurt said that he would love to join under the condition that Jeff joined as well and they said yes and…wait...What?

"What?" Jeff paled, arms clenching the pillow in his lap and fingers tightening almost painfully around the squishy fabric.

"I said I told them I would join if you did," Kurt repeated and Jeff threw the pillow back onto the couch before standing up and turning towards him, anger and fear and pain etched into his skin.

"I hear you...what I don't get is why would you do that when you know I can't do it?" he asked, tension hunching his shoulders and eyes misting over.

"Because I want to do this with my best friend," Kurt said, standing up as well and facing Jeff who was close to fainting.

"I can't...Kurt I can't," he wheezed out and gasped when a warm hand encased his.

"I believe in you," Kurt said softly and Jeff huffed out a bitter laugh.

"There's nothing left to believe in Kurt. I just… I just want to survive," he said desperately.

"I know. And for the longest time I was willing to help you do just that. But...it's not enough Jeff. Surviving, going through the motions. I remember how you spoke about Dalton back when we were stuck in McKinley...how you dreamt of going there and joining the group and joining the art club and I wanted all of that for you so, so badly. You're here now honey. You have the chance to do everything you've ever wanted and you closed off and gave up and I just can't let you do it," Kurt said and Jeff felt his eyes sting and tears spill over as he listened to what his friend was saying.

He wanted, so badly, to belong the way he had always dreamt he would if he ever got the chance to go to Dalton. His chances were stolen from him by his old Dom and he thought he would never get another chance. But it was there, right in front of him now and he could just reach out and grab it.

He was scared, terrified...but what if it was the last chance he would ever get? Was he able to let it go and live his entire life knowing he could have had it all?

"Would you be there with me?" he whispered and Kurt squeezed his hand.

"If you want me to be of course I will. But I talked to Blaine and he said you could audition in front of three people of your choosing. The rest of the Warblers will then listen to the recording and take a vote like they're doing for me," Kurt explained and Jeff felt his heart pound against his ribs almost achingly fast.

"I...I want to…I really do but…but I don't know if I can," he said sadly, hands shaking and voice cracking.

"You can, I know you can... you, Jeff Sterling, are a fighter and you can do whatever you set your mind to," Kurt said in determination and Jeff cracked a timid smile at him in gratitude.

"You said...you said I could chose who to audition in front?" he checked and Kurt nodded.

"Yup. Blaine and David both said that Wes was the only one who still cared about all the stuck up rules and since he is only one third of the council nobody paid him any attention anyway. So you get to pick," Kurt beamed and Jeff ran a hand over his mark subconsciously, the way he always did when he was afraid.

"Do I pick right now?" he asked and Kurt shrugged.

"If you know who you want then sure."

"Um...okay... Blaine...is...is that okay?" he checked to make sure his friend wouldn't mind him picking his own Dom.

"Of course it's okay. I expected that. You two get along great and he makes you feel comfortable because you know him. I'm glad my Dom and my best friend get along so great. Okay who else?" Kurt reassured him and Jeff smiled gratefully before thinking long and hard about the boys he met not so long ago.
They all seemed nice and while he was wary and kept his distance none of them ever said a single word out of place.

One face popped into his mind and he smiled gently.

"Thad...he...he's nice," he admitted remembering the small, cute sub who had enough energy to power up a small village and was genuinely sweet and caring.

"Awesome. He's a member of the council as well so that makes things even better," Kurt approved and Jeff nodded.

"I don't know who else to pick...I don't know them well enough," he said, raking his mind and going over their faces swimming in his head.

"Can I suggest someone?" Kurt asked and Jeff looked up nodding in consent.

"Yeah...I guess," he shrugged, he trusted Kurt implicitly after all and Kurt smiled.

"Sebastian," he said and Jeff ran the suggestion inside his own thoughts.

Seb was a submissive with the biggest mouth ever. He was bitchy and sassy and fierce and it seemed his Dom adored that about him. He stood up for Kurt and himself more than once and even if he would probably kill you for saying it, he cared about his friends.

He would be a good choice… and he reminded him of a certain best friend of his already.

"Yeah…that's...that sounds good. Sebastian is the third one then," he nodded and Kurt let out a squeal.

"YES! Okay I'm gonna tell Blaine and you can audition whenever you want. We need to pick you a song!" He clapped excitedly and Jeff agreed to auditioning sooner rather than later to prevent losing his guts and backing out.

"I already have a song though," he admitted and Kurt eyed him curiously.

"Really, what is it?" he asked in excitement and Jeff shook his head.

"It's…it's a surprise," he answered with a soft, sad smile on his face.

And now came the time to let his walls down and sing and he had no idea what in the world possessed him and made him say yes. He could literally feel his lungs fighting to expand and contract to bring air in and out, his heart pounding deafeningly in his ears and his entire body shaking beyond his control.

Lyrics of the song he had chosen swam inside his head, screaming and scaring him even further, pushing him to the brink of turning around and running away into the safety of his own room.

He knew there were only four people in that room; four people he had chosen.

The rest of the Warblers were informed of his audition and while they had agreed to allow him to audition in private they had insisted on being only a few doors down, ready to hear the recording right away and to vote both him and Kurt in or out at the same time.

It terrified him.

Knowing that they were there, even if he wouldn't have to sing in front of him made his stomach turn in anxiety...what if he can hear them laughing when they listen to the tape?

His fingers tightened around the tape with the music to his song Blaine managed to make for him and the plastic rattled against the case with his trembles.

He couldn't do it.

He couldn't do it.

He couldn't…

"Jeff, we're ready for you," Blaine's soft voice startled him and he snapped his eyes up to find the Dom looking at him from the doorway, pointing to the room where he could see Kurt sitting on one of the chairs and Thad and Sebastian taking the two seats on the Council's table, the third one obviously reserved for Blaine.

"I…" he tried but his voice failed him, creaking awkwardly and dying out.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked, eyes squinting worriedly.

"I-I can't..." he shook his head desperately, tears spilling over his lids and lower lip shaking. God he was so pathetic, he could hear Kevin laughing at him now.

"Yes you can," a new voice came from just a few steps down the hallway and he felt his body both tense and relax at the same time at the sound of it; so calm, so warm, so gentle.

Nick.

"Blaine, can you please give us a moment?" Nick asked and Jeff startled, reaching out to take Blaine's hand and plead for him not to go.

Blaine looked at his friend apologetically and took Jeff's hand, seeing Nick frown and his hands ball up into tense fists.

"Jeff, is that okay? Kurt and I are just behind these doors. Just like Thad and Seb. Nothing bad will happen to you," he assured and Jeff gasped in fear as he looked at the beautiful Dom that stood inside his room and called him an angel and offered him things he knew he couldn't even dream of, let alone have.

He stood there, careful and still, not posing a visible threat at all but Jeff knew…he just knew that allowing him in meant being in danger again. He couldn't go through that again, he wouldn't survive it a second time.

But Kurt's words came to mind and he had thought about what Kurt had said. He thought that maybe he could be strong if he just pushed himself a little bit out of his comfort zone.
Auditioning for the Warblers, drawing again, making Nick his friend…maybe he could…

"I promise I won't hurt you," Nick placated quietly and Blaine nodded at him encouragingly, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze and then retreating his hand as he went back into the room, closing the door and leaving him alone with the Dom that made everything inside him wake up when all the wanted to do was to let it all rest.

He eyed Nick as he took a step towards him and he pushed his own body back, hitting the wall and startling when he realized he had trapped himself between the wall and the Dom.

He stopped and held up his hands a look of pain pinching lines into his handsome face. "I won't come any closer. Please angel...please don't fear me," Nick begged and Jeff lowered his eyes to the floor, hating the way his body shivered at the nickname; the way his heart stuttered when he knew he didn't deserve to be called that.

"Don't call me that," a whisper broke through his lips and he bit the bottom one to stop himself from saying anything else.

"Because you don't like it or because you think you're not worth it?" Nick asked, voice firm but still not commanding or scary.

"W-what?" Jeff snapped his eyes up, because how could he know? How did he always seem to know when to stop pushing, when to stop approaching and when to reassure him that he meant no harm? How was it possible that he was reading his signals so correctly after one single conversation?

"Do you want me to stop calling you that because you don't like it or because you think you don't deserve it?" he repeated his question gauging his reactions intently and Jeff gulped nervously averting his eyes from that intense chocolate gaze.

"Does it matter?" he asked to buy himself some time, nervously glancing back at the Dom and Nick smiled at him making his knees turn to jelly and unable to tear his eyes away again.

"Yes it does. Because if you simply hate the nickname I'll stop right now. But if you don't want to be called that for the sole reason that you think you're not worthy of it then I can't promise to stop because I think you're more beautiful than any angel that ever existed," Nick answered honestly and Jeff shook his head in determination against the butterflies exploding in his stomach and the telltale flush on his cheeks.

He couldn't listen to the lies about himself coming from this gorgeous Dom. He just couldn't let himself believe the compliments he was paying him when he knew it would only end up hurting more in the end when he took them back.

"Don't... please just," he begged and Nick's eyes softened as he took another careful step forward.

"We don't have to talk about this now. You have an audition to go to and I don't want to throw you off track," Nick said, trying to weasel a promise of a future conversation out of the blonde sub without scaring him into it.

Jeff felt the ground shake under his feet when he was roughly reminded of the audition he had forgotten about the minute Nick spoke.

"Oh god," he breathed out shakily, fear evident in his voice.

"I understand that you're scared but I know you can do this. Just breathe, calm down, and do it," Nick reassured in a voice that startled Jeff.

There was something about it. Something he had never heard before and it made his insides warm and his heart settle down easily, giving way to a type of serenity he hadn't felt in a long while.

It wasn't a command.

He knew what those felt like; compelling and binding and rough. This was gentle; a soft caress upon his skin that warmed it and smoothed the ugly wrinkles away. This was comfort and safety and he basked in it as he nodded his head gently and reached for the doorknob to enter the room.

Turning around he saw Nick's back as he too retreated into the room a hallway away and he stepped back out to call softly after him.

"Um...s-sir," he started shakily and Nick turned around to look at him, a soft smile on his lips.

"It's Nick if that makes you feel more comfortable. What is it?" he asked gently.

"T-thank you." Jeff whispered, insides jumping with how the Dom made him feel with just a few well-placed sentences that settled his mind.

"Any time angel," Nick smiled warmly and walked into the room, leaving Jeff to take a deep breath and do the same.

He walked in and stood in front of them, handing the tape to Kurt and turning to the "jury" for the day.
Thad, Blaine and Sebastian sat at the council table, Blaine's eyes concerned and Thad's questioning and curious while Sebastian just looked bored as he always did, but he offered a reassuring nod to Jeff when he glanced at him timidly.

"Okay then. We're here to listen to the audition of Jeff Sterling. By the orders of Head Council Member Wes Montgomery, the council for this audition consists of regular council member Thad Harwood, and temporary members Sebastian Smythe and Blaine Anderson. This audition will be recorded and played for the rest of the group to vote on. You may now introduce yourself. State your name, age and the song you'll be singing. The music will start right after that and you can sing," Blaine rattled the annoyingly formal introduction he hated but Wes insisted on and since it would all be on tape he couldn't just skip it.

"Okay um...I...I'm Jeff Sterling, eighteen years old and I'll…I'll be singing a cover of Evanescence's, Lost in Paradise," he revealed, barely audible and Blaine nodded to Kurt who pressed play on the sound system, the sound of haunting, skin piercing music filled the room in an instant.

Jeff closed his eyes for a moment, hands shaking and heart pounding as his tried his best to find that sense of calm Nick caused just moments ago...but it was gone.

His tongue twisted as his cue came and went and the beginning of the song remained locked inside his throat. "I'm s-sorry...I…" he stuttered, shame colouring his cheeks and bringing tears back into his eyes.

"That's okay. Just take a moment and we can try again," Thad's sweet voice came and he looked up to him, gratitude shining from his face as he nodded slowly.

He took a deep breath when the music stopped and tried to find something to anchor him, to help him through. All of a sudden an image of a sunshiny smile flashed inside his head and he stilled his fingers and took a freeing breath, meeting the music lingering in the air around them and starting the song with a shaky but strong voice; pure, and liberating and emotional.

It stunned them all to silence as the blonde in front of them allowed himself to feel freely for the first time in such a long time.

They let him live through it...not moving a muscle...not making a sound, just listening and realizing they were seeing something beyond special. Something huge for someone who has been so hurt he wasn't even sure of who he was anymore.

It was his moment and they allowed him to have it completely.

I've been believing in something so distant
As if I was human
And I've been denying this feeling of hopelessness
In me, in me

The key was much lower, his range nowhere near what the original artists was but Jeff didn't choose this song to try something fancy, to impress or wow, he chose it because it spoke to him. It took all those harsh, jagged shards in him that had been taped together so haphazardly and placed them into some kind of order without him having to hurt himself trying to traverse that painful place himself. It was an outlet to pour what was left of himself into, someone else's words but now his voice, his pain, his emotion.

All the promises I made
Just to let you down
You believed in me, but I'm broken

There was a flash of Nick's face and he screwed his eyes closed against the hopeful expression he saw there before Jeff had collapsed it. But he had to do it. He had to, before Nick found out for himself and the expression found its way there on its own. Jeff didn't think he could have handled that sort of rejection again and so he got there first, extinguished the spark before it flamed no matter how bad he hurt himself in the process. Better a little pain now than agony later.

I have nothing left
And all I feel is this cruel wanting

He almost choked over the words. It wasn't fair. Why did he have to feel like this? Why did he have to see Nick, why was the universe taunting him with this?

We've been falling for all this time
And now I'm lost in paradise

As much as I'd like the past not to exist
It still does
And as much as I'd like to feel like I belong here
I'm just as scared as you

He had a trail of disaster in his wake and an empty future in front of him, stretching and yawning blackness and he wished that just for a second he could forget it. That he could pretend that he was whole and happy, that being here at Dalton, the place he'd always dreamed of would magically fix something inside him but it didn't and it hadn't. He was surrounded by this safe haven, but he'd never felt more adrift amongst the happy masses.

I have nothing left
And all I feel is this cruel wanting

We've been falling for all this time
And now I'm lost in paradise

He opened his eyes and stared at the floor as he belted the next line out clutching at his chest.

Run away, run away
One day we won't feel this pain anymore

Take it all away
Shadows of you
Cause they won't let me go

He wanted him out of his head. He wanted that viscous voice out of his ear, the blackness gone from his heart, the scars of all forms vanished. He wanted to feel warm again, real, true warmth that left no place untouched in him. A tear snaked down his cheek.

Until I have nothing left
And all I feel is this cruel wanting

We've been falling for all this time
And now I'm lost in paradise

Alone, and lost in paradise

The music trailed off, the last airy notes lingering in the air and touching their skin. Jeff stood, eyes downcast and breathe heaving as he came back from wherever the song took him.

He felt so exposed, so vulnerable and raw and there was nothing he could do now to protect himself from whatever they threw at him. He chanced a look up and found them staring at him wide eyed and confused in their silence.

"Um...I…" he tried but Thad lifted his hands up to stop him from talking.

"I don't even care what they have to say. Jeff that was amazing. I've got goosebumps and I swear to god if they don't vote you on I'm quitting and starting a new group with you," he said a huge smile on his cute face and Jeff smiled at him in shy gratitude as Blaine spoke up.

"I don't think I've ever heard something like that. That song... that was perfect and the way you sang it… no the way you lived it...god there're no words for it. Stunning," Blaine said standing up and giving him a short applause making him blush and hide his face back down when he heard Sebastian's voice.

"I don't usually give praise but that was superb. It's a brave person who stands up and does an Evanescence cover and the way you fit the song around you and made it your own… I'd definitely vote you on if only to get a chance to hear more from you," he said in a regal voice.

"Well done Jeff. We will now retreat into the other room to play this and Kurt's tape to the others. You wait here for the news but between you and me... there's no way in hell you're not in," Thad said with a wink and the three of them left the room hastily.

There was a moment of stillness and silence when suddenly there was a squeak and a thump as Kurt hurled himself off his sofa and barreled into him, hugging the breath out of his lungs.

"Oh my god sweetie. That was the best thing I have ever heard! God Jeff why were you hiding that amazing voice all this time?" He asked excitedly and Jeff blushed, looking down again.

"It was not that good, Kurt," he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and Kurt scowled.

"You need to stop doing that. You need to stop believing everything he told you. What makes his opinions more valuable than mine or you're parents or you're friends or…or Nick's? We can all see you for who you really are and still you believe him instead of us. Why is that?" Kurt sighed and Jeff looked at him sadly.

"He was my Dom, Kurt. The one who was supposed to care and keep me happy. He didn't do that and he made sure I knew it was my fault. If I was a good sub, what he always told me to be..." he let it trail off as he swallowed thickly over the memories. "I know now that what he did was wrong but it's so hard to leave it behind," he finished in a tiny voice that made Kurt sorry for being so forceful.

"I'm sorry, Jeffy. I know it's hard. But…but please just trust us when we say you're amazing, beautiful and talented beyond belief. Okay?" Kurt smiled and Jeff leaned into his touch.

"I'll try," he shrugged the exact moment the door creaked open and the three judges came back in.

Both their futures hung upon that one word Blaine would say.
A good word or a bad word.
In or out.

"Okay guys... we have played both tapes and the boys have voted. For the first time since the Warblers exist we had a unanimous vote," Blaine said happily and Kurt clutched Jeff's hand tightly in his own as they waited for the news.

---

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