Keep my heart captive, set me free

by The Queen of Rose

D/s AU - Kurt Hummel had always dreamed of a fairy-tale bond, a perfect, kind and caring Dom. Blaine Anderson had always dreamed of someone who stands out from the boring crowd, someone real, and pure. When their worlds collide, will either of them get what they had dreamed of?

15. Loved

Everyone: you guys are late *collective frown*

A&M: but *try to talk*

Everyone: you said Sunday *disapproving look*

A&M: yes but *raise finger*

Everyone: then you said Monday or Tuesday *hands on hips*

A&M: we know but *defend themselves lamely*

Everyone: it's early Wednesday now *taps foot on floor*

A&M: yes but *lame again*

Everyone: what do you have to say for yourselves *challenging look*

A&M: thank you for being patient *cute eyelash flutter*

Everyone: not good enough *huffs*

A&M: we love you *hopeful smile*

Everyone: try again *eye roll*

A&M: we have a new chapter *wave pages*

Everyone: weeeell...*interested look*

A&M: and it's the longest so far *tempt*

Everyone: fine...hand it over... *reaching for the chapter*

A&M: we love you *another cute eyelash flutter*

Everyone: yeah yeah...go back to writing *smack on the head with the chapter*

A&M: 'kay... *bows heads in shame*

---

Friday

---

"Brad," the gym teacher and football coach, Sharon Beiste called clapping her hands together. "Some hustle please. Seen grazing cattle move faster than you, boy."

Brad sneered at the older sub and remained fussing with his hair next to the bleachers on the gymnasium as if the sheer thought of joining his classmates made him ill. He was constantly slacking and the coach was quite obviously fed up with his antics.

Despite her large stature, Kurt had soon discovered that the lady was a real sweetheart underneath all that drawl and muscle and so it made sense that she was a submissive once you got to know her.

He was currently stretching with Jeff, Sebastian and Thad in a little circle while a few others in the class were scattered around doing the same in preparation for the class. From the looks of things they were going to be playing volleyball and Kurt couldn't say he was happy about that.

He wasn't half bad at it but the thought of sweating and ruining his hair made him cringe. He had hoped he would find a kindred spirit in Sebastian who loved his hair as much as, if not more, as Kurt, but no such luck. The bitchy sub was extremely sporty and loved gym class.

"I don't know why she bothers with him," Sebastian muttered rolling his eyes as he loosened his hamstrings, casting a glance at the hated classmate and sneering when he saw him sitting on the sidelines, looking at everyone like they were the crazy ones for actually doing the required work.

Thad shrugged pulling his arm across his chest and glancing surreptitiously at the door saying cleverly, "Probably because it's her job."

Kurt followed his gaze to the entrance and found nothing there so shrugged it off just in time to see Seb glare at Thad and roll his eyes sarcastically.

"Thank you. I was unaware of that fact before. Truly Thad, you enrich my life with knowledge," Sebastian drawled dryly and Kurt snickered losing himself in this easy camaraderie.

For so long it had just been him and Jeff against the world at school and while fundamentally that would always be true, with added of addition of Blaine now, it was amazing to feel like he fit somewhere for once.

Sebastian somehow fit with them despite his rough and unlikable exterior. On the inside he truly cared and he was an amazing friend to have. Thad on the other hand, was just impossible to hate. He was so sweet, and funny, and kind and sort of clumsy but still endearing and Kurt adored him all the more when he saw how relaxed Jeff was in his presence.

The smaller sub just beamed at Seb before turning to Kurt. He was over his illness and back full force these days, a little whirlwind of activity, like he was making up for lost time. "What's going on with the charity night? Did you manage the model dilemma?"

He asked it with genuine curiosity and Kurt had learned quickly in their newly formed friendship that he was the person who always encouraged others to pursue their dreams and was sincerely happy when the succeeded; no trace of jealousy or resentment.

Kurt nodded going up a few times on his toes. "Yeah the girls were easy, I asked Corrine to ask a few of the girls on her squad and I've got Seb, David, Jon and Ryan for the males-"

"Ry agreed?" Thad interrupted with a laugh, looking giddy at the prospect of his Dom modelling on a catwalk. For teasing or ogling purposes Kurt wasn't quite sure… probably both.

"Yeah I may have said it'd make you really happy," Kurt smirked, a devious spark in his eye that Seb almost grinned at, that ghost of a smile before the sub shut it down. "So that's four… I wanted six to match up with the girls but Jeff said no, Blaine's still on the fence, you're busy with the drama club, Trent's a walking disaster of clumsiness and Wes just gave me this look."

Kurt made sure to smile at his best friend and thread their fingers together to make sure he knew he didn't hold it against him in the slightest. Jeff nudged him back with his shoulder but didn't say anything.

He'd been so quiet for days now that Kurt was really starting to worry. It wasn't just the silence either, it was the purple circles under his eyes that spoke of the nightmares Kurt knew he was plagued with after a few eventful sleepovers at Jeff's over the years. It was the sadness welling in the eyes themselves, deeper and fresher than he'd seen it for a long time. It was the pale skin and thin mouth and tighter than a coil posture.

It reminded him horribly of when he first met Jeff. That first day he'd seen the blonde looking around McKinley so lost and scared and unable to talk about what had happened to him, just locking it all inside to fester. Now it was happening all over again and while Kurt knew the essence of it Jeff refused to let him in on the details and it left him sick with worry.

After school he promised himself he'd try again to attempt to coax something more out of his friend. He hated to see him this way, suffering in silence.

"What about, Nick?" Sebastian suggested with an arched brow, glancing at the door briefly before refocusing so quickly Kurt almost missed it. What is it with people and that door? "He's an idiot but you've seen the way he struts around."

Jeff's mind immediately went back to the poncho incident and it felt like a knife in the stomach instead of the pleasant memory it had been only days ago. He bit his lip hard and looked down at his ratty converse, hiding under his fringe and trying not to cry over something so stupid.

Kurt watched his friend flinch and grimaced a little trying not to draw attention to it and deflected, "He never got back to me but I'll chase him on it. I'm going over the designs with Dana this weekend so once I know for sure how many outfits we're having I'll know how many models I need."

"And you can always check out potential runway models at the formal," Thad pointed out helpfully, hopping around on one leg as he pulled the other up behind him to stretch out. "Everyone will be dressed to impress after all, it's taken quite seriously around here. Surprise, surprise!"

Kurt blinked. "Oh god… I haven't even started planning an outfit!"

He'd been so wrapped up with the charity night that the formal kept slipping his mind.

Sebastian smirked. "It's not the end of the world. Just go and choose one, you've got another two weeks before the night."

"Just go and choose one?" Kurt deadpanned. "Really? I thought better of you, Smythe."

Sebastian actually looked a little offended and Jeff managed half a smile while Thad just laughed out loud.

"Wanna come shopping with me and Blaine?" Kurt asked Jeff and the blonde looked up at him and gave him a lackluster shake of his head.

"No thanks. I'm gonna sit this one out," he whispered.

"Aw Jeff," Thad whined. "But you have to come! And the Warblers are performing too so you're kinda needed."

Seb shook his head. "Actually if they choose mostly solo's like they did last year then it's possible for him to sit out. Wes wouldn't be thrilled but it wouldn't hurt anything."

Jeff looked at him with so much gratitude the snarky sub couldn't help himself when he quirked a gentle smile in the blonde's direction and clasped a wide palm on his shoulder briefly in silent support. He truly did care and Kurt liked him even more.

"Are you sure?" Kurt asked quietly in an aside while they debated the point and Jeff met his serious gaze not needing to say anything at all. "Okay, well want me to talk to Wes with you?"

Jeff smiled, relief flooding his face. "Thanks."

Kurt simply squeezed his hand tighter in a silent, I'm here for you.

"Okay guys, listen up-" Besite started loudly to gain the attention of her class, only to cut herself off when the gym doors crashed open. Every head swiveled that way and Kurt felt a funny jolt in his stomach when he saw Blaine sauntering inside followed by more than a few Warblers; David carrying a docking station while Jon and Trent held massive speakers. The sensation was like this sudden phantom knowing without having a clue what it actually was you knew, hairs rising on the back of your neck and heart tripping over itself as your blood raced faster through your veins.

Suddenly it all made sense why Sebastian and Thad had been watching the doors and he sent them the bitchiest, death glares he could manage with all these fluttering anticipatory feelings ticking under his skin. They just smirked at him and pushed him forwards a few steps, making him release Jeff's hand so he was on his own.

He looked up.

Amber eyes caught and held his, brimming with affection and bright with excitement, accompanied by a charming, toothy smile as he made his way over step by step just as the music kicked in, with the Warblers adding their own acapella twist to overlay it. Kurt recognized it immediately of course; Michael Buble's, Everything and it set his face on fire as all eyes flicked between him and his crazy ass Dom with rapt interest.

"Blaine," he began warningly, but the protest was breathless and weak at best.

And then Blaine started singing, crooning more like, and he really just didn't want him to ever stop.

You're a falling star, you're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

He danced his way over, all sliding feet on the polished, wooden floor making it look effortless and just the right side of goofy until he was right in front of him, Warblers flanking them on all sides.

And you play it coy but it's kinda cute, he tapped him on the nose playfully making Kurt scrunch it up adorably and try and fail to bite back a grin, playing right into his hands as he sang the next line right from his heart, eyes gazing over his face fondly.

Ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend that you don't know it's true.
'cause you can see it when I look at you.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

It almost physically hurt how much Blaine meant every single word.

He just wanted to make sure Kurt knew it too. Knew just how adored and loved he was in the wake of the few bumps they'd encountered of late.

He honestly didn't know how he'd gone so long holding back from doing something like this before. It satisfied so many things in him. The need to declare to the world that Kurt was his. The desire to sing out his love for this beautiful being every minute of every day. The satisfaction of watching Kurt light up under the attention, like a flower unfurling in the sunlight and it was stunning.

You're a carousel, he span him on the spot using his hand and Kurt laughed out loud, his cheeks hurting from all the stupid smiling. This was ridiculous in the best possible way.

You're a wishing well.
And you light me up, when you ring my bell, he winked suggestively and Kurt bit his lip feeling a little hot all over at the implication, eyes darting around to see if anyone else had and catching a flash of amused faces before his gaze inevitably was drawn back to Blaine like a magnet.

You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

Blaine pressed their foreheads together holding onto his waist and Kurt clutched the Doms biceps with trembling fingers, overwhelmed by emotion. All the love in him bubbling up to the surface and seeping through his skin like it wanted to escape him into Blaine to stitch their souls together for eternity.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.

He pulled back but didn't let go, simply sang to him serious and beautiful.

Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

Kurt's heart tripped over the word.

Love.

He knew it was just the lyrics to the song but that didn't stop him from reacting strongly to that perfect word tumbling from those flawless lips. Especially the submissive side of him. It ate it up greedily, insatiable like it couldn't hear it or feel it enough, always wanting more, more, more.

Kurt whimpered a little feeling his legs go to jelly, barely able to hold him up at all.

It wasn't impossible was it? That Blaine could actually love him. Screw what anyone else thought or said, it certainly didn't feel that way right now with the way Blaine was looking at him.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

His Dom started to dance them slowly, rocking back and forth at first before coaxing Kurt to follow his lead, the subs hands slipping behind his shoulders as the Warblers backed him up to sing the next part.

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

He stopped their movement to sing straight to him again passionately.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're every song, and I sing along.
He nuzzled their noses together, smiling bright and wide, Kurt unable to anything but mirror it as they began to dance again in a low circle. 'Cause you're my everything.
Yeah, yeah

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

He dipped him as it ended, like something straight out of a black and white movie and Kurt felt like he was actually going to swoon. Especially when soft lips pressed down over his in a butterfly touch of a kiss that made tears spring behind his closed lids.

I love you, I love you, I love you, he thought urgently, branding the silent words into his lips.

Cheers and applause erupted around them as Blaine straightened them up, lips still very much attached as Kurt pushed into the contact desperately, overwhelmed. Blaine was simultaneously grounding and sending him off into space constantly and it made his head spin in the best way.

Blaine pulled back eventually and Kurt blinked his eyes open, a stray tear falling from his lashes that the Dom scooped up gently with his knuckle letting out a little happy chuckle. "You okay, lovely?"

"Shut up," Kurt sniffed trying to be mad, but it was kind of impossible right now. "This is all your fault. What are you even doing?"

"Well get on with it, B. We didn't all skip class and interrupt another one for shits and giggles," David called out and yelped when someone presumably hit him to shut him up. It was probably Wes.

"What's going on?" Kurt asked again, eyes searching his handsome face for any clue.

Blaine cleared his throat and stepped back, suddenly looking a tad nervous as he took both his hands. "Kurt…" he started seriously and Kurt had a brief moment of fear.

"Oh my god. You're not presenting me are you?" he hissed under his breath, mortified but at the same time… sort of eager?

God what even was that reaction?

Blaine laughed, a few others that had heard joining in as well and the tension seemed to ease out of him with it. "No silly boy. I wouldn't do that when I know you'd have my ass for you being in your gym clothes."

Kurt flushed, partly because it was true and partly because he may have jumped the gun a little. He heard Sebastian snicker and he turned his head to level him with yet another bitch glare. "Laugh it up Mr just-choose-one."

Sebastian rolled his eyes and Kurt gave him a superior smirk before turning back to Blaine feeling more relaxed when he saw his amused expression at the exchange.

"Finished?" he teased.

"Yep," Kurt beamed.

He laughed again. "Okay. Kurt, my beautiful, lovely boy… I know people just seem to think it's a given that we'd automatically be each other's dates for everything now and while that is true because you're sure as hell not going with anyone else," he winked, playfully serious. "I still feel it's right for me to ask you properly because the last thing I want to do is take you for granted. You really are my everything, lovely," he admitted softly.

Kurt edged closer with every word, nodding along like he was in a trance as realization of just what Blaine was going to ask him dawned on him. "Ask," he whispered.

Blaine smiled, thumbs stroking over the back of his hands. "Kurt Elizabeth Hummel. Will you do me the honor of being my date to the Winter Formal?"

"Yes," he breathed. "Yes, yes, yes!"

Another bout of merriment went around and Blaine wrapped his arms around his waist, lifting him up to spin him around happily, stopping only when Kurt leaned down to join their mouths together. Blaine coaxed his open with his questing tongue, lapping just over the back of his teeth and brushing the subs before pulling back again.

"You're mine too," Kurt whispered against his mouth, hands framing his face as they kissed until Coaches whistle broke them apart.

"Alright Anderson, I granted you fifteen minutes. You got seventeen. Get lost," Beiste said and he snickered, pecking Kurt on the lips with a smile and running out followed by teasing catcalls from Kurt's classmates and a blushing sub he loved more than life.

---

Five days.

Five long, painful days.

That's how long Nick went without Jeff's warming presence and he could feel himself crumbling a little, fraying around the edges.

His heart ached constantly, no relief from it and his mind screamed at him to fix it, to make it better, to get him back where he belonged; next to Nick, in his arms. But the thing wasn't completely certain what he had done wrong. Was it his touch that scared him? His words? The love he knew radiated off of him and poured over the blonde boy in waves, even when he tried desperately to reign it back? After all there was no way it went unnoticed. This depth of feeling couldn't be contained he knew, it was bound to spill over.

But he'd take it back if he knew what it was. He wouldn't stop loving him, that was impossible, but he'd try harder. He'd tame his Dominant blood and the ache inside of him to own and claim and keep if he knew it would bring Jeff back to him…even in the small, timid, closed-off capacity he was there before Nick blew it up.

He didn't know how to deal with the pain. His skin itched, his hands felt empty even though he had only held his angel once before the horrible hug that wrecked their tentative relationship. He knew what it was like now to have even a small part of him and losing even that was excruciating.

To make the torture worse he still saw him around the school almost every day with dark shadows under his eyes, shoulders slumped down further than he'd ever seen them and a bone deep sadness etched into his skin tore Nick apart because he'd helped put that there somehow.

He wanted to make it right again, he needed him there again.

So after five sleepless nights, five days of endless phone calls with Blaine and five desperate days of wracking his mind trying to figure out what to do, he realized he couldn't take it anymore.

He was done.

He was tired of the pain and the sadness. He wanted to be happy again and he wanted to make Jeff happy and tiptoeing around the subject and avoiding the talk that was long overdue got them into the mess they were in right now.

So five days after Jeff tore away from him in fear he walked down to the cafeteria, picked up a cup and filled it with hot chocolate, bright, red, messy handwriting soon decorating the side of it like every other time.

Determination obvious in every step, he made his way over to the hallway across the staircase from his own and knocked on the heavy wooden door. The cup in his hand was shaking lightly and he could feel his lungs struggling to draw enough oxygen into his body to function properly as he listened to the muffled steps approaching the door.

The key jiggled and the door knob twisted letting a gentle voice out into the corridor.

"Kurt I told you I just want to stay in and…" Jeff pushed the door open and froze when he saw Nick standing there, smile careful but still blinding in its beauty, hands shaking lightly where the clutched the cup that smelled so inviting and comforting. "Nick…"

The name came in a huff of breath tumbling from his lips and he gripped the door frame tightly to keep himself from falling into his arms like he had so desperately wanted since the second he ran away and left the Dom in the hallway that day.

He had came to himself a few minutes too late after the incident, mind settled and realizing it was Nick and he wasn't in danger. His skin was aching and cold, missing his touch but it was already too late to go back. He had ruined the best thing that had happened to him since the day he met Kurt and he knew Nick must have hated him for it so he stayed away.

Sleep eluded him, his eyes growing heavier and scratchier with exhaustion and tears as the days without his personal sunshine went by. He wanted to go to him and that pull scared him more than any slur or blow Kevin had ever hurled his way. The desire to be close to him, the urge to curl up on his chest again and sleep with no nightmares, no fears, just warmth and safety and Nick was almost terrifying by how strong it was.

He saw him every day around the school and he ached to be in his arms again but he knew he wasn't worth it.

He wasn't worth the sadness and the worry he saw on that beautiful face every time he messed up and hurt him. He wasn't worth the time and the patience it took to be around him. He knew he had wasted Nick's time and he was so incredibly sorry for that, so when the Dom left him alone for five days he cried one last time over him and made his heart let him go.

Nick deserved better anyway and it didn't even matter that he was so close to letting himself fall once again, hoping against hope he would be caught this time before he crashed to the ground. His bruised body had betrayed him, his fearful mind turned against him and Nick was gone.

And he'd thought that was that. He'd resigned himself to the dark whole he'd dug with his own two hands…until now…when he was in front of him again the achingly familiar cup in his hand like a rope ladder, traces of red under his fingertips indicating another note…and…and that sunshine smile of his once again igniting him from the inside out and god he couldn't breathe.

"Hi angel," he greeted softly and Jeff felt his body shiver at the nickname he still couldn't wrap his head around. He was the furthest thing away from an angel there could be and still Nick called him that with so much conviction…like he truly saw him white and pure.

He couldn't let him think that so he shook his head.

"Don't call-" he started but Nick raised one hand to stop him, the other cradling the cup to his chest, a puff of delicious smelling steam sneaking into the threads of his blazer.

"Stop," Nick said with that distinct lilt in his voice that Jeff couldn't rightly identify just yet, but he still felt his limbs loosen and his body relax. "I came here to lay it all out in front of you. If you can just spare ten minutes of your time and let me say what I came here to say I promise I won't bother you after that. Okay?"

Jeff stared at him wide eyed and in shock and maybe that was why he felt his head bob up and down slowly in confirmation before his brain caught up with what he was doing. As much as his body felt tense and scared, the sub in him purred at the sight of Nick's smile after he had said yes, delirious at the thought that he had pleased the beautiful Dom.

"Thank you, beautiful," he said gently and Jeff lowered his eyes down, fingers wringing together and cheeks coloring in shame at the compliment he knew he didn't deserve.

"This is for you," the Dom extended the cup and nodded in encouragement when Jeff reached out to take it, careful to assess the situation in case it was a trick Nick was pulling just to make him pay for what he had done. Kevin loved playing games like that with him.

But nothing came. Just the warmth seeping through the Styrofoam cup and onto his trembling fingers as he clutched it careful not to let it drop. And really he did know better than to expect that from Nick and it made guilt bubble in his chest.

"Thank you…" he whispered barely audible and Nick smiled at him coloring his world again after days of it being black and white.

"Read it," he encouraged. "It's the first thing I want you to know," he gestured towards the cup and with a knot in his chest Jeff lifted his thumb from the red note and squinted at the neat letters a gasp tearing from his lips and his heart lurching when he saw it.

"I fell in love with your broken, beautiful soul."

There was an arrow pointing right so he turned the cup numb with shock.

"I'm never changing my mind."

"Nick…why…" he got out, strangled and confused but the Dom shook his head.

"No. You promised you'd let me say what I came here to say and I'm holding you to that. After I'm done I'm gonna go and I'll give you time and space to decide what you want. I won't pressure you or force you to give me an answer. I'm just asking you to hear me out and then think about it. Can you do that for me?" he asked and Jeff felt himself nod again dazed, his thumb tracing the beautiful note on the cup almost unconsciously, like he could soak the words in through his skin.

How could he find his soul beautiful when he knew it was broken? How could he choose to stay when he knew there was nothing left of Jeff to give back to him?

A hand wrapped itself around his own and pulled him back into his room and towards the bed where they sat facing one another in silence until Nick finally spoke up.

"The first time I saw you…you were walking out of a class. I remember stopping dead in my tracks because I'd never seen someone so beautiful. It was as if someone pulled you out straight from my dreams," he started off, a genuine sound of awe in his voice when he recalled it that made Jeff's heart flutter.

"I wanted to talk to you but then you turned around and I saw…" he paused and met Jeff's eyes and the sub knew what it was and fought not to cup his neck self-consciously. "I saw your mark. And I knew you were hurt beyond belief and I wanted to find whoever did that and hurt them back so badly," he confessed, undiluted rage in his tone.

"I knew nothing about you except that you were gorgeous and yet I wanted to make sure you were safe."

He paused and made sure Jeff was looking straight at him. "It never went away, Jeff."

"Nick," he breathed but got a stern look in return that made him shut his mouth.

"It just grew and grew to the point where you were the only thing I could think of, the only one that mattered to me. The cups…the cups were a way for me to get to you without scaring you away. I left them every morning hoping they made you smile…but I guess I scared you anyway and I'm sorry about that. And then we talked and you shut me out so quickly I thought I'd never get to be close to you again…but it worked out somehow. You said you wanted to be my friend and I agreed to it, wanting to be close to you whatever way I could."

He thought it would be harder to explain his inner thoughts, but they were all tumbling out of his mouth like water, weeks worth of sentences that had been bitten back finally released.

"And over the past few weeks I felt like…like maybe things have been changing for you too…like maybe you'd find your way to me completely and after the blackout when you slept so close to me and you held my hand I guess I allowed myself to hope, to believe…" he shook his head. "And then I messed up again by holding you when you didn't want that and I scared you and I regret it so much…not the fact that I had you in my arms because Jeff, believe me, I'll never forget how it feels to hold you like that, but I am sorry it hurt you, I'm sorry it scared you and pushed you away."

Jeff felt tears sting his eyes, chest heaving from all the emotions he was feeling. He thought it was his fault?

"These past few days have been torture and I realized I can't do it anymore. I can't pretend I don't love you and I can't pretend I don't ache for you because everything I do is laced with you. So this is what I decided to do. I decided to lay it all on the line and give you the chance to break me completely. I'm giving you time now. To think about this…about us…if you decide you want to try us… come to the Winter Formal. I'll wait for you."

He reached across and hesitantly took his free hand, relishing the contact as it soothed every jagged edge.

"If you decide to give me a chance, angel, I promise you…you'll never be hurt the way you were again. I'll be the best Dom I can be to you. I'll keep you safe…and I'll keep you warm and I'll love you the way nobody has ever loved you before," he finished and turned to see silent tears slip down freckled cheeks and his heart broke as he lifted his thumb to chase them away.

"Don't cry, angel. Whatever you decide I'll respect. I promise," he said leaning in and kissing the salty skin of his wet cheek before he stood up and walked to the door.

"I truly hope I see you at the formal. I…I love you, Jeff," he admitted softly on an exhale looking over his shoulder, knowing it might be the only chance he'll ever have to say it to him before he slipped out the door and walked over to his own room, tears spilling and fear tearing at his insides.

That was it…his heart was literally a target and Jeff held all the bullets in his hands.

He had the power to crush him now.

---

They'd been at this for a little over two hours now and Blaine could tell Kurt was getting frustrated.

Hell, Blaine wasn't exactly having a picnic either but he could tell that this was important to Kurt, it was one of the first things his sub had voluntarily offered up of himself after all and so he grinned and bared it as they thumbed through yet another rack of suits.

"How about this one?" Blaine held up the classic tux jacket and Kurt shook his head, hardly sparing the thing a glance.

He'd been through stark changes of moods all day.

At first the prospect of shopping for their outfits for the formal had Kurt on the balls of his feet, vibrating out of his skin with excitement. He'd been flicking through magazines circling things in bright markers and bookmarking a few things online ever since Blaine had asked him to be his date a few days ago. But as soon as they reached the high end stores his boy had gotten a little tentative, clearly concerned still about how much everything cost as he subtly checked the tags. It had taken a little persuasion but Blaine had brought him around again, they really did have more than enough money for this lifetime and the next and he knew this was important to Kurt. His first proper social event ever and the sub was very serious about making the right impression, which explained why he was currently hiding in his knitted cardigan and biting at his fingers distractedly, face drawn and tense.

"Lovely, you're gonna look great in whatever you wear," he tried to placate, hooking the hanger back over the metal bar.

"No I'm gonna look like I'm trying too hard," Kurt mumbled around his index finger and thumb.

"Well then how about we just look at normal suits?" he suggested. "You don't have to wear a tux. I usually don't."

Kurt waved him off with his free hand, eyes still fixed on the wall of clothes as he rolled his eyes. "It's a formal, Blaine."

The Dom frowned, really quite confused. "Is there an in between of a suit and tux that I didn't know about?"

Kurt growled in his throat distressed, the slightly higher pitch perfectly mixed with the low tones and doing things to Blaine that he'd rather avoid in the middle of Versace. He pushed away that thread of desire however in favour of the more pressing need to make his sub happy again. Walking up behind him he hooked his chin over Kurt's shoulder and slipped his arms around his waist snugly. He waited patiently until his sub relaxed into him, ignoring the looks the assistant they'd sent away when they first entered was giving them, before gently rocking them from side to side.

"Tell me what's wrong, lovely," he commanded lowly, pressing a light kiss to his jaw just under his ear.

Kurt closed his eyes letting the gentle command wash over him and make him melt inside his Dom's embrace.

He didn't quite know when he'd let this get away from him. He was working so hard not to let these insecurities get to him and on the whole he was able to ignore them completely because he did know better. He knew that Brad was only trying to get under his skin because he wanted what he couldn't have. That all those magazine writers were ignorant, close minded people.

It was only sometimes he let it all get to him; when the pressure was high and the stakes even higher. He needed to make sure he looks presentable enough for Blaine and his family.

He couldn't let them have another thing to put him down for.

"I just want it to be perfect," Kurt confessed, heart in his throat. "I don't want to be embarrassed or embarrass you by looking like I don't belong there."

Blaine snorted, placing his hands on his hips and spinning him around until glasz eyes looked back at him and his hands rested in the concave of the bottom of his spine, his pinkies brushing the beginning of the curve of his ass teasingly, making him shiver.

"Kurt you'd never embarrass me, baby. I'm so proud and lucky to have you with me that I think I might explode from the need to show you off and shout to everyone that you're actually mine sometimes," Blaine told him passionately and Kurt knew that, a small smile coming to his face when he remembered how Blaine had asked him to be his date in front of a whole class full of people. "You just need to be yourself, because he's pretty perfect," Blaine continued kissing his temple when he lowered his eyes down.

"Even when I make you shop with me for two hours and don't choose anything?" Kurt joked weakly, but he was sounding brighter so he counted it as a step in the right direction, smiling and squeezing him tighter, cupping the back of his head when he rested his face against his neck, placing a gentle kiss there.

"Especially then," Blaine admitted. Even when Kurt wanted to make him tear his hair out he still loved him with a strength that could hold up the world.

He wished he could say it out loud, not using a song's lyrics to cover up the deeper meaning and not by using someone else's words, but he wasn't wholly sure that they were there yet.

He was almost one hundred percent certain that Kurt felt just as strongly for him, this connection that lit up between them couldn't be anything but, however, he didn't want to push too soon and damage what they had. He was happy in the silent knowledge for now, the little actions between them instead of the words that spoke volumes.

"I think you're perfect even when you're not." Is what he said instead.

Kurt swallowed over the lump in his throat, happiness bubbling to the surface as he nuzzled his head into Blaine's, nosing at his Dom's cheek with eyelashes fluttering against his temple.

"Now how about we try this again and you stop trying to look for things that will make you like everyone else, hm? You were born to stand out, lovely," Blaine whispered to him tenderly.

He'd hit the nail on the head of course. The problem they were having was Kurt was trying to find something that would make him blend in. Only it went against his very nature to do that willingly and that's where the problem lay.

"I wanted something..." he trailed off and looked back towards the pristine hanging suits with a critical eye.

"Like what?" he urged, loosening his hold a little so Kurt could move if he needed to.

Kurt didn't make a move backwards and away from him like he was expecting however. Instead he dug into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper, spreading it open with shaky fingers to reveal a multitude of rough sketches from lapels, to bowties, braces and vests, to what type of stitching he wanted.

Blaine was blown away.

He knew Kurt wanted to design clothes and he'd seen him curled up on the couch with a pencil and pad a few times before, but he'd never actually seen any of Kurt's work. It was amazing. Detailed even in its roughness with a flair in every pencil stroke that screamed Kurt.

"They're just quick ideas I scribbled down…" Kurt began a little self-consciously, the blush on his face betraying him as he handed the paper to Blaine.

"Wow...these are amazing, lovely," Blaine praised immediately, cupping his hand over one of Kurt's to bring the paper closer to him to make sure he wasn't missing a single thing. He noticed his name in the corner next to a bowtie with tiny little snowflakes sprinkled over it and grinned stupidly wide. Kurt was designing him clothes? It made him feel ridiculously warm and fluttery inside, his heart swelling ten times its size.

"Are you sure you don't need any help, Mr Anderson?" the red headed assistant approached them again to ask, stilettos clattering on the hardwood flooring.

Kurt regarded her and the form hugging emerald pencil dress she was wearing skeptically. It wasn't that he didn't think she knew what she was doing despite the dollar signs that had been ringing in her eyes since she spotted and recognized Blaine. Clearly she had some taste. But knowing what looked good on you and what looked good on others wasn't exactly synonymous for some people. And besides, he knew what he was doing just fine, he was just having a bit of a crisis of faith today.

Blaine opened his mouth to speak but she cut across him obliviously walking to the rail, curls bobbing behind her as she searched for a suit.

"Because I think this one would look great on you personally," she carried on, grabbing it and thrusting it at Kurt, before carrying on to another one still chatting away. "And I know just the one to match. It's for the Dalton formal right? You're a little late in the game, people were buying theirs a month ago at least but I think I could be persuaded to help out..."

Kurt tuned her angling for a sizable tip out and pulled a face at the suit in his hands which had Blaine laughing at him. "Be nice," he teased into his ear, hooking his thumbs in the belt loops at his subs hips under the cardigan.

"Have you seen what she's given me?" he hissed back. "This grey will completely wash me out! And it's plain!"

"Nothing wrong with plain is there?" Blaine asked innocently, already knowing the answer of course but happily baiting his boy anyway to help take his mind off things and get him back to his normal happy, sassy self.

"Classic plain, no. Boring plain? I wouldn't dress like that even for my own funeral," he huffed tugging him along so he could put the suit back on the rail, tucking his designs away before turning in his arms to face him again. "Please save me from her before she comes back with more hideous opinions," he pouted.

Blaine cooed at him, stroking his cheek. "Poor baby."

"I'm serious, Blaine!" he stomped his foot like a child but cuddled in closer to his Dom anyway, seeing a getaway from the red haired shark who kept piling boring, uninspired outfits at him.

The Dom thought it was adorable but refrained from saying it out loud, no matter how tempting. Instead he concentrating on the tug in him that was urging him to do as Kurt asked and 'save him'. It didn't matter that it was only from a commission hungry redhead, the Dom in him was raring to go.

"Okay. I think I have an idea," he relented and began pulling them out of the shop just as Miss Pushy came back with an arm full of options. "Sorry. Emergency just came up, gotta run!"

She watched them go with a scowl but Kurt was very happy to escape, only lamenting a little that they had found nothing. He was surprised however when he started to pay attention to his surroundings again that instead of another shop, Blaine began leading them back to the car park.

"Where are we going? Are we going home?" he asked as he threaded their fingers, nervous that he had pushed too far and Blaine was sick of him.

Blaine just smiled at him, giving a wink and squeezing his fingers in reassurance. "You'll see."

It wasn't until a short car ride later they were walking inside the lofty, open plan studio that it really sunk in for Kurt.

He was standing in none other than Dana's fashion house, Red.

"Oh my god…" he breathed in awe eyeing the racks to their left hungrily, full of last season's stuff that he'd manage to save up enough at Mae's to splurge on a magazine to see them as a treat for himself, before his eyes drifted towards the mannequins a few assistants were fawning over, getting stunning glimpses of Dana's latest line.

Blaine filled with pride as he watched the pure, unadulterated joy and awe washing over his sub as he took in his surroundings. It reminded him of when he first stepped inside his studio when it was finally finished and the magic of that moment that had filled him to bursting.

This was Kurt's dream, just like the studio was his. It was a life affirming moment. A, god yes I want to do this forever moment, and Blaine wanted to have forever to make him this happy and excited all the time.

"Blaine, Kurt!" Dana called as she spotted them from her desk next to the north facing wall that was made of windows from floor to ceiling. She hopped up, dressed to kill in a cap sleeved floral print dress and made her way over to them in her heels. "I thought you were shopping then heading home for dinner. I was just about to head off myself."

"We need a favor," Blaine told her and both Kurt and Dana looked at him expectantly. "Kurt and I need suits for the formal but all the ones we looked at today were… plain," he smirked at Kurt over the last word and got an eye roll in return that had him grinning and Dana looking at them curiously. "Kurt has some ideas for the designs that he sketched up that are really amazing. It's short notice but I was just wondering if you could maybe whip something up for us using them as a reference?"

"What?!" Kurt yelped as he realized what was going on, suddenly going pink. "N-no… I mean… they were just some ideas-"

"I'd love to see them," Dana cut in beaming, which turned into a smirk as she looked back at her son. "Finally letting mama dress you like the good old day's sweetheart?"

Blaine pulled a, mooom-why-do-you-always-have-to-do-this face and Kurt would have laughed out loud if he wasn't freaking out.

He swallowed not knowing what to say back to that, slightly overwhelmed and Dana gestured them to follow her back to her desk. They all took their seats, Kurt and Blaine side by side across from the elder Dom.

"Only show them if you want me to see them, sweetie. If not we can just discuss what you want and I'll see what I can do," she reassured him.

Blaine grasped his hand and laid a kiss to the back of it. "Believe in yourself, lovely," he whispered and Kurt met his calming gaze before reaching into his pocket once more and passing over the paper, his fingers shaking like crazy and his mind getting angry at himself for crumpling the paper so much and making it so messy. Presentation was key after all.

Dana smoothed it out on the desk and Kurt felt like the world stopped for a second while she looked it over. It was different than showing Blaine. With his Dom he felt infinitely more comfortable sharing such intimate parts of himself, but with Dana it was a different story. He trusted her of course, but she wasn't his Dom. Plus, she was a professional in this field at the top of her game, not just Blaine's mother, so there was a very real chance she could tell him he wasn't any good and would probably be better concentrating his efforts in a different direction.

"Oh my..." Dana whispered and Kurt jumped in his chair, eyes wide and nervous as he tried to understand what she was thinking.

"Is it...is it bad..." he asked and felt Blaine snort next to him as if he found the mere idea ridiculous.

"And just when I think you can't get any more talented," Dana shook her head, eyebrows rising in pleased surprise as she scanned her well trained gaze over his doodles. "I'm really impressed, Kurt. Truly," she praised sincerely.

All the air rushed out of him at once. "You like them?" he squeaked.

"What's not to like? They're tasteful, fresh takes on classic looks. They scream personality," she observed with a smile, taking in the more elegant, embellished look for Kurt and the more alternative, dapper look for Blaine.

Kurt's pleased, bashful smile spread across his face like a sunrise. Boundless and stunning. He bounced in his seat a little. "I feel like this is one of my dreams again," he admitted giddily.

Dana snorted a laugh but actually looked flattered from the tiny blush that stained her cheeks. "You dream about me praising your design work?"

Kurt bit his lips and shrugged. "Sometimes." Read: A lot.

"He dreams about me more," Blaine put in and it was two parts joking, one part jealousy and another part childish petulance.

Kurt's face bled red and he gaped over at his Dom as images flickered behind his eyes of naked skin and bruising kisses, gasping breathes and growled moans.

Oh god.

Dana just rolled her eyes and tapped her manicured nails on the cluttered desk. "You always were a possessive little boy."

Blaine stuck his tongue out at her and didn't look at all remorseful.

"You don't have to make them exactly like that. I know its short notice," Kurt burst in a little hastily trying to get them back on point and his mind out of the sheets.

"I want the bowtie," Blaine demanded right off the bat. "Exactly like that one."

Kurt bit his lip to keep from smiling so wide and Dana didn't even bother to disguise her amusement as she grabbed a notepad and wrote it down, circling it twice. "Okay. I'm thinking that I can take a few of the suits I designed for last season and bespoke them with these elements you have here? Unfortunately it's a bit too late to start two new suits and hand-make them, especially with the workload I'm under right now but we can definitely still make you the hottest couple there," she grinned.

"That would be amazing!" Kurt gushed and hesitated before going on. "And I was wondering if maybe I could pick something up for Jeff? I know he's not gonna do it himself or ask and I really want him to have the option to come if he wants to. But we don't want to put you out-" he tacked on only to cut off as she waved it off.

"I'd be more than happy to. In fact I'm excited! How did you feel about the silk lapels on the navy suit last season? I think that would go lovely with your eyes," she asked and Kurt immediately launched into praising his mothers work and sharing his opinions eagerly, bouncing ideas back and forth seamlessly.

Blaine just sat back and watched them interact with a smile.

They went through rack after rack of clothes, picking various items up and inspecting them carefully before deeming them unfit and moving on.

After about half an hour Blaine was ready to admit that he had lost track on how many suits they had discarded and he was a enough of a man to also admit he had no idea what they were looking for.

He sipped at his coffee for another hour, amusement at seeing his adorable sub so excited and wide eyed crushed by the all-consuming boredom when Kurt finally bounced over to him, a garment bag slung over his hand and he perked up at the prospect of going home and maybe...just maybe making Kurt strip for him to try on the new clothes...and then strip again.

"Hi, lovely. Found what you were looking for?" he asked, already making a move to stand up and put his jacket back on when Kurt snorted...an ungraceful sound that would have him blushing and covering his face mere weeks ago but now he was relaxed and more confident in himself.

"This is the one I picked out for, Jeff," he said unzipping the bag and showing his Dom a classic black suit with a silk collar, a dark gray shirt with a black skinny tie.

Blaine groaned at the cheeky smirk on his sub's face because he obviously realized he was tired and wanted to go home, so he played it cool and peeked into the bag with all the interest he could muster.

The suit was subtle and doomed to blend in, but tasteful and classy and Blaine could tell right away why he chose that one for his timid friend. He wanted him to look good and feel confident but at the same time not draw too much attention from anyone there.

He knew it was a lost cause because Nick would devour him if he saw him dressed like this and he knew for a fact a few other guys around the school thought the blonde boy was sexy and would like what they saw if he decided to join them too.

Blaine knew neither Kurt nor Jeff knew about the attention the blonde sub had drawn to himself with his lean body, perfect platinum hair and those rare but blinding smiles that lit up his cocoa eyes. But he had heard his college classmates commenting on how gorgeous he was when he smiled, how sexy his body was when he wore tighter shirts, how amazing his laugh sounded on one of his good days when he was relaxed and content.

He also knew it drove Nick crazy to listen to them but there was one thing he had over every single guy that drooled after the blonde.

On his good days, when he would let go and laugh out loud...it was always Nick who made him laugh, always Nick who cracked his walls and peeked inside of him and he was sure he had nothing to fear.

He wondered if he should let Kurt know about the fact that Jeff was quite admired at Dalton.

"I love it. He will look amazing in that suit," Blaine said honestly and Kurt perked up.

"Think Nick will like it?" he asked, mischief clear in his voice and Blaine chuckled, knowing he was just given the perfect in for the information.

"I think Nick just loves him. Suit or no suit or a bad suit. But he won't be the only one liking him I think," he said casually and eyed Kurt's reaction as he tensed and frowned.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked and Blaine took his hand to calm him down. He was so fiercely protective over Jeff sometimes it was hard to get through to him when he got into one of his worrying frenzies.

"It's nothing bad lovely don't worry. A few guys around the school noticed Jeff and they seem to like him if their comments are something to go by," he said as calmly as he could and Kurt side eyed him suspiciously.

"Are they rude? Will they hurt him?" he demanded and Blaine shook his head.

"No baby. They're nice guys, I know them. Polite and kind and they seem to think Jeff is quite beautiful. Their comments are always respectful and sweet," he reassured and Kurt nodded, the frown on his face a little less prominent now.

"What are they saying?" he asked just to make sure and Blaine smiled pulling him closer until he stood between his knees with his Dom's hands wrapped around his hips gently.

"I've heard them say he was beautiful. One of them mentioned he liked his hair a lot and then they all agreed. One of them also said he was cute and that if he had a sub like him he would buy him flowers every day to make him smile. All good things," he assured again and Kurt nodded, smiling again.

"Well he is all that. So that's good. But I still want Nick for him," he said in determination and Blaine laughed perfectly in time with an excited scream coming from the depths of clothing racks.

They both jumped and Kurt rushed towards Dana, buzzing with excitement when Blaine spoke up again.

"Lovely," he called out after him and Kurt spun on his heel to face his Dom a scowl firmly on his face, clearly stating he did not appreciate the interruption.

"What?" he snapped and then glared at Blaine's raised eyebrow, adding a snippy, "Sir," at the end to make it sound less pissed off… he failed miserably and Blaine almost combusted with the effort it took not to burst in laughter.

"Wanna know what they're saying about you?" he asked teasingly and Kurt scowled even deeper looking like an angry little kitten, more adorable than intimidating, but there was something suddenly vulnerable in his stance and it made Blaine uneasy.

"No," he said wrapping his hands around his middle and looking at the floor.

Blaine jumped and came to him, wrapping him in a strong embrace and whispering in his ear.

"They talk about you all the time when they think I can't hear them. How gorgeous you are, how sexy your body is, how magical your eyes are, how they wished they were me...but they aren't, are they my beautiful boy. They aren't me. They don't get to kiss you, they don't get to make you shiver and moan so beautifully. They can look and talk...but you're mine. Mine to please and mine to touch and mine to look at as you fall apart under me," he purred in a hushed voice, his breath curling around Kurt's neck and ears, little puffs of it touching his mark and making him tremble in Blaine's arms. All he could do was nod and hold on to Blaine's shoulders as his pants grew tighter and much less comfortable only from words alone.

They were standing so close, their lips almost brushing with every breathe once Blaine brought his head back around and Kurt felt his body rock into Blaine's on its own accord, hips thrusting forward and damp lips parting in expectation.

Blaine was looking at him hungrily, hands sneaking down his back to cup his ass and pull him in closer still, forcing a silent moan out of him when their erections brushed.

"So sexy, so tempting...I can't wait to have you all alone with me...in our bed...where everything smells like you. I'm gonna make you feel so good lovely...so...so good," he whispered enticingly, catching his lips and Kurt just broke.

He gasped and clung to him, mind going blank as his fingers dug into soft curls. Strong hands on his back and ass gripped tighter and pulled so they rocked together again... he was lost.

Blaine licked into his mouth teasingly at first but it grew so much stronger when he felt his desperation. It felt like the world melted away with his mouth on him and then down his neck, biting and nipping and soothing with his tongue in turns.

Shit. He wanted him so much he could barely control himself.

In the back of his mind he knew there was a reason they shouldn't be doing that but he couldn't really recall what it was until a voice broke through the cloud of lust and need around them.

"Kurt sweetie are you coming?" Dana called out and as their lips detached with a wet smack he turned desperate eyes towards his Dom; red lips and damp curls evidence of the fact that Kurt turned him on just as much as he did him.

It was empowering in a way...to be able to turn someone experienced and so in control into a mess of want.

And god, he was so glad all the other workers had gone home already.

"You can go now. We'll see about you coming later," Blaine murmured and his breath hitched, brain still unfocused and fuzzy. In the end he had to have Blaine turn him around and push him forwards until he was moving himself on shaking legs, moves uncoordinated and repeatedly looking back over his shoulder at his Dom as he tried to collected himself before looking for Dana.

Blaine sat back onto his chair, smug and turned on and desperate, but beaming when he heard excited shouts of joy a few minutes later as Kurt obviously found what he was looking for.

He couldn't wait to see what he had picked out for them.

Eventually happy claps and squeals made him curious enough and he was about to walk towards them to see what they found when his phone went off and he saw Nick's name flashing from the screen.

He swiped to answer it.

"Nicky. What can I do for you this fine afternoon?" he chirped into his phone happily, his day shaping up to be better than he had ever expected.

"B, I...I think my heart is breaking for real..." the pained voice of his friend alarmed Blaine and he tensed, worry flooding over him in cold waves as his friend bled out into the phone, basically on the verge of a panic attack.

Nick never panicked. He just didn't know the meaning of the word. He went through life happy, daring, brave and strong and there was just one thing that made him this scared.

Jeff.

"Nick...hey...hey...buddy I need you to calm down and tell me what's going on," Blaine asked him and he gasped heavily.

"I...can you just come over...I can't...I just..." he wheezed desperately and Blaine cut him off.

"Yeah...yeah I'll be there as soon as I can. Stay in your room okay?" he said quickly.

"'kay...sorry, B," he answered sadly and Blaine rolled his eyes.

"You're my best friend you prick. I'm always here for you. Just hold on tight. I'll be there in no time."

He tried letting his smile seep into his voice to soothe his friend but he had no idea if it worked because the line broke and Nick was gone.

Worried out his mind he ran into the back room where his mother and his sub were packing stuff away into another two garment bags and he knew how bad he was when he didn't take the time to admire Kurt's flushed cheeks and the excited smile he wore that would usually make him breathless.

"Kurt...Nick just called me. He sounded pretty out of it and he wants to see me. Do you want to stay here and come back home with my mom or do you want me to drop you off?" he asked and flinched when Kurt's eyes darkened with worry and something close to understanding.

"I want to come with you," he said immediately in determination and Dana eyed them curiously.

"Lovely, I don't think Nick-" he started but Kurt cut him off.

"I want to see, Jeff. I've never seen Nick out of it unless it's about, Jeff. I need to make sure he's okay," he said and Blaine had to admit he agreed with him.

"Okay, baby. Mom can you take the suits home with you? And maybe save us dinner? I don't know how long we'll be so don't wait for us," he asked as Kurt put his coat back on and slung Jeff's suit over his arm.

"Absolutely. You just make sure your friends are okay," she said kindly, proud of her son and his sub who was fast becoming a third son to her and Kurt smiled at her, coming back to give her a hug and kiss her cheek.

"Thank you so much," he whispered and she returned the hug gently.

"Any time, sweetie. Now go," she shooed them and they rushed to the car, silent and each in their own thoughts, painting the worst possible scenarios and hoping they were wrong.

The ride to Dalton seemed to last forever with Blaine worrying about his friend and trying to hide it in order to maintain his collected facade for Kurt's sake, and Kurt banging his fingers on his knee repeatedly, body tightly wound and ready to bolt to Jeff as soon as they stop the car. Which is exactly what he did only seconds later when Blaine pulled into the parking lot and turned to him but he was already gone.

Silently he made his way towards Nick's room, all the while wondering what was happening behind the door that hid the cute blonde sub and his own boy from curious eyes and ears.

He just hoped it wasn't too bad.

---

On the other side of the heavy wooden door Kurt was kneeling next to his friend who was sobbing so hard his entire body shook with the force of it and he held his hands, allowing him to get it all out before asking any questions.

He'd walked into the room after bolting from the car to find his best friend in hysterics, pacing the room, running desperate hands through messy hair, eyes red rimmed and cheeks stained with tears. He'd held him tight and moved them towards the bed, sitting down and allowing Jeff to curl up into him as he cried and trembled and fought for breath to explain what was going on.

Kurt hated that they were here again. That Jeff hurt this much this often.

Kurt was having none of it though and he forced him to just take his time and they could talk when he felt better so that's where they were fifteen minutes later.

Jeff's sobs quieting down slowly and his grip on Kurt's jacket loosening until he finally looked calm enough for Kurt to try and find out what was wrong.

"Jeff...honey look at me," he tried and his friend pulled back from him and glanced into his eyes sadly. "What's happening?"

He tried to keep his voice calm and reassuring but the way Jeff clung to him and the way his body just pulled back into his shell made him feel so scared for him.

"He...he told m-me...Kurt he..." he tried but his words betrayed him as another wave of tears spilled down his pale cheeks and Kurt fumed at the sight of him so broken.

"He what? Did he hurt you? I'm gonna kill him..." he swore but Jeff gripped his hands and shook his head.

"No... no he didn't hurt me...h-he just...he...he came here...a few hours ago...a-and he t-told me that...that he wanted me to k-know everything..." he sniffled miserably and Kurt was pretty much ready to go and beat the crap out of Nick...or well...he could ask Ryan or Dave to beat him because Nick was a gym regular and he had muscles that were hard to ignore so Kurt doubted he would stand a chance against him...but Ryan would...and Dave.

"What did he say Jeff?" Kurt asked and Jeff finally took a deep breath to calm himself down so he could tell Kurt what happened.

He stood up shakily and walked to his desk, picking up the still full cup of hot chocolate handing it to Kurt to read the note...which he did, a huge smile blossoming on his face.

"Jeff...sweetie this is amazing...why...why are you so sad?" he asked, heart melting at the beautiful note Nick left him.

He decided to let Ryan and Dave be for the time being.

"Not sad...just...he...he came here earlier, to apologize for that hug that scared me...and...and he said that he made a decision," Jeff stuttered sitting back next to Kurt, pulling his blanket around him looking bone tired and so dejected Kurt wanted to hold him and protect him forever.

"What kind of decision?" he asked instead, prompting his friend to keep talking.

"He said he wanted me to know everything so I could decide. He said he would never hurt me, that he wanted to...um...to keep me safe since the f-first second he saw me...and um...he said that...he said that he'd be the best D-dom to me he could and then..." he blushed and trailed off picking at the loose thread on his shirt.

"Then what, sweetie?" he asked and Jeff sighed deeply.

"He said he loved me..." he whispered gently, disbelief obvious in the width of his eyes and the frown on his forehead.

Kurt on the other hand...seemed ecstatic.

"Jeff...oh sweetie that's amazing. I'm so happy for you..." he bounced on the bed and Jeff eyed him questioningly as if he couldn't quite understand what was so amazing about what he had just said.

"Why?" he let out on another whisper that stopped Kurt's excitement like a gun shot.

"Why is it amazing?" he asked in surprise and gasped when he saw his friend nod his head timidly.

"Because Nick is an amazing Dom. Because I knew he had it bad for you. Because I know...I am absolutely positive, he will be the best Dom you could have asked for. Because you deserve to be loved the way he loves you...desperately...completely. Jeff, sweetie that man...he would turn the world upside down for one smile on your face. Don't you think you deserve someone like that?" he asked passionately and Jeff stared at him for a moment before shaking his head.

"No...No I don't...y-you deserve that...and Thad...and Seb...and the other subs who aren't dirty and used and broken. I am...I don't...I can't...I can't be worth it... I wouldn't be this way if I was worth it," he cried and Kurt shot up from his place on the bed turning on his heel furiously.

"Stop it! You listen to me Jeffrey Sterling and you listen to me good. You. Are. Beautiful. You're perfect. You're sweet and kind and caring and talented and lovely and worth every single word Nick said to you...every single feeling he has for you. He made an amazing choice falling in love with you because you're everything Jeff...you're my best friend...you're my family. To Nick...you're everything to that boy," he said and Jeff twined his fingers in his lap as the words slammed into him, pushing past the sadness and self-loathing.

"He said he wants to be with me...for...for real and that I should think about it...and if I want it...I should come to the formal and h-he'll wait for me. I don't know what to do, Kurt!" he said miserably and Kurt knelt down in front of him again, taking his hands into his own.

"Do you care about him?" he asked gently and Jeff snapped his eyes up.

"That...that doesn't matter Kurt...I can't...I can't tie him to me...he deserves better," he said desperately and Kurt shook his head.

"Okay...okay here's what we're gonna do...I need you to forget the things you think about yourself...Nick doesn't see them as something that makes you unworthy so you and I...we're gonna try and turn them off and talk like they don't exist okay?" Kurt asked.

"But-"

"No buts...just forget about what you think about yourself and answer my questions as if you were never hurt before. Do you like, Nick?" he asked and Jeff opened and closed his mouth for a minute trying to argue and failing miserably.

After a long stretch of silence he nodded his head once, blonde fringe falling over his eyes.

"I need you to say that out loud. Do you like, Nick?"

"Y-yes," he whispered barely audible, but still resonating around them.

"If nothing had happened to you, would you want to be with him?" Kurt asked again and this time it came without a single moment of hesitation.

"Yes," he admitted, this time his voice had less quiver and less hesitation in it and it made Kurt smile so much.

"Then I think you should go to that formal. Let yourself go. Allow yourself to be vulnerable again because this time...this time you've got someone who won't use that against you. This time sweetie...if you fall...he will be there to catch you," Kurt reassured as best he could with all the sincerity in his heart, feeling odd because wasn't these the fears he himself was wrestling with? The fear that Blaine would let him fall if he admitted to being in love with him?

Jeff let a single tear slide down his cheek as he leant forwards and cuddled into Kurt's chest breaking his train of thought. "And if I hit the ground again?" he asked hiding his blotchy face and shivering lightly.

"You won't...I promise you, you won't," he said, determination shining from every word.

"How do you know that?" Jeff asked again and Kurt pulled him closer and hugged him tight.

"He loves you. You don't let the person you love fall," Kurt answered honestly, that pang there again and Jeff grew silent in his arms for a few moments.

"If I go...and he decides I'm not what he wants after all...what then...?" he asked, fear lacing his words and breaking Kurt's heart.

"That won't happen. We both know he's too far gone for you," Kurt said, voice slightly teasing and playful.

"He shouldn't be," Jeff said again and Kurt tightened his hold on him.

"Don't go back to that place. Just...get out of your head and stay here...where you're loved and wanted. Please," he begged him and the blonde nodded reluctantly, signaling he was willing to at least try.

They sat in silence for a while before Kurt spoke again.

"Are you going? To the formal?" he asked and Jeff tensed.

"I...I don't know yet...can I...is it okay if I think about it? On my own?" he asked and Kurt nodded vigorously.

"Of course it is. Jeff I can give you advice, and push you out of your comfort zone sometimes but in the end...you're in charge of your life. If you decide not to go...I'll support you. I'll understand. And so will Nick."

"He said he'd never bother me again if I decide not to come. I...I'm not sure if I want him as my Dom Kurt...but...but I am sure I don't want him to go...what if...what I don't show up and he just...he just leaves?" he asked fearfully and Kurt could almost feel how much it hurt him to think about losing Nick.

"I don't think he'll do that. I just think that if you don't show up he'll stop trying to make you see you should be together. He'll be your friend...and just a friend. But let me ask you this...if you're so afraid of losing him...don't you think it's a sign that you should go?" he asked and Jeff shrugged, brows creasing.

"I don't know right now...I feel like I don't even know my own name," he said desperately and Kurt nodded.

"You still have time until the formal to sleep on it...to think about it and to decide. In the meantime...I got you something...just in case you decide to go after all," he smiled wide as he stood up and walked over to where he slung the garment bag to reveal the simple but still classy and impeccable suit for him.

Jeff gasped and stood up to run his fingers over it softly, like a harder touch would cause it to crumble into dust.

"It's...it's beautiful," he breathed out, thinking of the days when he used to have loads of these to spare before they had to sell them all off and Kurt beamed.

"I knew you'd like it. And you'll look breathtaking in it," he crowed and Jeff smiled, holding the garment bag close to him and letting his mind picture all the possibilities of him showing up, of him not showing up...and he knew...he knew he was close to finding the answer...he just needed to allow his heart to win the argument against his mind.

---

A week later... Day of the formal...

---

I fell in love with your broken soul...

He shouldn't love me...

If you're so afraid of losing him, don't you think it's a sign that you should go...

I love you...

I'll be the best Dom I can be to you...

I'm not worth it...

He loves you...

He shouldn't...

Loves you...

Shouldn't...

Jeff pressed his hands over his ears trying to tune out the voices fleeting around his room and making him even more confused than he already was.

Nick's words came to him and made him feel loved, then his own doubts kicked in and he curled inside his armchair trying to appear as small as he could, then Kurt's words broke through and he felt a little bit braver, then he was back in his own mind again making him stumble back...

And so it went in circles for hours...days...

Classes breezed past him, voices of his friends blending together in a barely understandable symphony of words and he couldn't answer them, couldn't pull himself out...Nick was all he saw, all he heard, all he felt and all he could focus on.

Nick with his gorgeous, trustworthy eyes. Nick with the smile made of sunshine and warmth. Nick with arms strong and threatening for everybody else but him when they held him and protected him from everything. Nick with his silly jokes and his madness that managed to make him laugh at the worst of days.

Nick...
Nick...
Nick...

Was it wrong to be so close to letting him own him? Was it wrong to want to belong to someone so desperately after everything he's been through? Was it wrong to want so much, when he knew he had nothing to give back?

He felt selfish.

He was thinking of going to that formal and allowing himself to melt inside Nick's arms and to live forever on borrowed strength and warmth when he knew it would leave Nick cold, wrecked and disappointed.

Faintly, he could already hear the beat of the music coming from the hall where the formal was being held and he knew, somehow, that Nick was keeping his word and waiting for him but he couldn't bring himself to get ready and go.

Fear freezing him in place.

If he could just hold still for another few hours Nick will be free of him; free to love someone worthy, someone vibrant and beautiful...someone completely opposite from him.

And he wanted that...in his mind at least. His heart however broke into a million pieces, not really glued together properly to begin with to withstand the blow it would create seeing Nick with someone else.

He came to his window and opened it, letting the fresh air hit his face and ruffle his hair teasingly; the wind playful and happy and disrespectful towards the tortured boy in front of it.

A slow song was playing now and the breeze carried the light tune with it to Jeff.

So loud, the voices of all my doubts
Telling me to give up
To pack up and leave town

A sweet voice sang the lyrics that made his heart beat faster because he could feel every word of the song so clearly...he was so ready to actually pack up and leave...to give up once and for all...

It was a constant struggle he led, every day for the past two years; listening to his doubts and giving up, or listening to the people around him and fighting another day to keep his head above water. So far, the people who still loved him won and he was still there but lately he felt like more and more water managed to find its way into his mouth, into his nose, into his lungs.

He felt like drowning and he needed to decide if he was going to reach out and take someone's hand or just succumb and sink.

So can you lift me up?
And turn the ashes into flames
'Cause I have overcome more than words will ever say

He chuckled bitterly, starting to feel like the person singing this song knew him and what he had been through.

Could he be lifted up? Could he be saved again? Could he be whole again?

He had no idea...

But in the back of his mind words of love and praise reverberated with every word of the song and somehow he knew that there was a person out there...waiting for him...willing to try and save him...

And I've been given hope
That there's a light on up the hall
And that a day will come when the fight is won
And I think that day has just begun

Nick was hope personified and Jeff was sure that if he truly tried, if he truly let him...he would find a way to fix him...

He just had to be brave and go.

Lost in thought he listened to the song and every single word hit him right in the chest, filling the black hole left there with light and hope and NickNickNick...

Somewhere, everybody starts there
Counting on a small prayer
Lost in a nightmare
But I'm here and suddenly it's so clear
The struggle through the long years
It taught me to outrun my fears

And everything that's worth having
Comes with trials worth withstanding

So can you lift me up?
And turn the ashes into flames
'Cause I have overcome more than words will ever say
And I've been given hope
That there's a light on up the hall
And that a day will come when the fight is won
And I think that day has just begun

Tearing away from the window he stared at the garment bag hanging off his closet door and a rush of something went through him so strong, so compelling he just allowed it to dominate.

He stripped his sweats and hoodie and jumped into the shower quickly, putting on the beautiful suit and forcing his hair not to embarrass him.

He tied the knot on his tie and ignored the mirror to stop the fear in the eyes of his reflection to petrify him.

An upbeat song replaced the sweet tune but as he walked through the door he could hear the encouragement caressing his skin...

...a day will come when the fight is won
And I think that day has just begun...

---

The Winter Formal was one of the most anticipated events of the year for the students of Dalton. It was a highlight for both seniors and college students to mark the end of the year and the start of winter break and so things usually got a little crazy.

Held in the auditorium, the seats were packed away to leave space for a dance floor and tables and chairs to line the walls. It was decorated much the same as it always was, a lot of fairy lights in the shape of snowflakes scattered everywhere, Christmas trees decorated to perfection in corners and enough decorations, fake snow and ice sculptures to make it look like a winter wonderland.

The floors were vibrating with the bass screaming from the speakers and the mass of people singing along to the latest top 40 songs when they walked in.

Never let it be said that all the Dalton crowd was stuffy and uptight.

"Blaine, Kurt," Hikaru greeted them at the door with his wife Tara who was helping chaperone, who looked appropriately stunning in a Chinese style dress that hit the floor and buttoned intricately up her neck. "Glad you could make it."

"Glad to be here," he responded shaking his hand, smiling at Kurt as he did the same before they both pecked Tara on the cheek in greeting after Blaine introduced them. "The decorating committee didn't pull any punches again this year again."

The Principal rolled his eyes. "Give them a budget and they insist on spending every dime."

Tara smacked him on the arm in reprimand. "Stop being such a grumpy old man."

He simply grinned at her with a wink. "You knew what you were getting into my dear."

Her own eyes did a lap around their sockets but there was a smile twitching her lips. "You boys look lovely," she complimented instead of firing back at her Dom.

Kurt blushed and preened happily on his arm and Blaine couldn't take his eyes off of him. Hadn't been able to since he'd first glimpsed him in that outfit.

Perfectly tailored to accentuate all the graceful lines of his body, it tucked into his tiny waist and the wide, patterned lapels lengthened his neck in a way that Blaine wanted to spend hours marking up. This was only exaggerated by the upswept hairstyle Kurt had decided on for the event, a little more height than his usual coif and suiting him wonderfully. The shirt he was wearing was pure white with a dash of black on the collar that made it look like he was wearing a bowtie when he wasn't and the colors all brought out the intense creamy, flawlessness of his skin and kaleidoscope eyes.

They weren't even in the room properly yet and he can already see the many admiring stares directed at his sub making him feel a little jumpy. His blood moving just that much faster as he tried to fight the rising possessiveness.

Kurt was his. That's all he needed to remember.

"Thank you. So do you. That dress is wonderful," he praised back sincerely.

She beamed. Tara Montgomery was notoriously hard to please but it was clear she had taken an immediate liking to Kurt. "Thank you, sweetie. You're a lucky man, Blaine Anderson," she told him.

"Don't I know it," Blaine grinned, feeling pride swell in him.

They said their goodbyes and walked further into the room eyes scanning the crowds for familiar faces. "This is something else," Kurt murmured as he soaked it in. He'd never been to anything like this in his life. In Lima there was nothing comparable to this and the only other thing was the Showing, but that was different. It was structured and strict and proper, whereas this seemed like mayhem in comparison and it was intriguing to watch, exhilarating to experience.

"You're something else," Blaine whispered back to him, straight into his ear and loving the shiver he felt run up Kurt's spine.

"Sir," he breathed, trying to sound stern but knowing it just came out needy.

"Lovely, you shouldn't say sir like that unless you want me to find us the nearest dark corner," he warned, voice soaked in dirty promise.

Kurt bit his lip and met his Dom's dark eyes from under his lashes. He was becoming very familiar with that look, like they were old friends and it made his stomach twist into pleasant knots. "Is that a promise, sir," he whispered feeling a surge of confidence.

Blaine hooked his hand around the back of his head, careful not to ruin his hair as he pulled his closer to press a hard kiss to his lips. Kurt melted into it but the Dom was pulling back all too soon to indeed promise, "Later."

He pulled away completely with a naughty smirk and Kurt was left flushed and breathless and wanting.

"C'mon, lovely. Let's go be social," he urged like nothing at all had transpired, tugging him to get him moving.

Kurt narrowed his eyes on him, pouting at being worked up then denied, muttering under his breath the whole while. "The only one I want to be social with is your tongue."

Blaine missed a step and choked on air. "Kurt!"

He raised an innocent brow. "Yes, Blaine?"

Two could play at that game.

It was too late for Blaine to say anything though because they literally stumbled into a familiar face waiting at a table.

"Hey guys," Dave beamed at them, raising his voice to be heard above the music because they were closer to the speakers here and Kurt noticed that he cleaned up very well in a classic blue three piece suit.

"Hey, Dave. You look nice," Kurt complimented him.

"I'd say you do too if I didn't fear for my face," the jock joked offering a hand out to Blaine who took it with a ghost of a sheepish smile.

"Where is everyone?" the Dom asked glancing around all the energetic bodies.

"Wes called the Warblers for an emergency meeting and Corrine dragged Miriam and Ryan to dance," he informed them, pointing over their shoulders with a shit-eating grin.

The couple glanced back to see why he was so amused when they caught sight of Ryan doing what could be described as an animal dance. One minute he was snapping his arms like a crocodile, the next curling them up like a tiger, waving them around like a monkey, the classic chicken of course and all to the sounds of Kesha's, Timber.

They all burst out laughing. He was completely uninhibited, totally uncaring of just how ridiculous he looked and from glimpses of Corrine and Miriam's faces he could spy through the moving bodies, they were loving it.

"Guess we should go see what Wes wants," Blaine sighed and Kurt nodded looking back wistfully at the dance floor. They waved goodbye to Dave after he pointed them in the direction they were and ended up in the far left corner, all the Warblers sitting around a table bored while Wes stood lecturing.

The Dom's eyes caught and held on them and he cut himself off. "Where have you been? We have to go on in half an hour!"

Kurt glanced at Thad and the sub mouthed, "Stressed," and gestured to Wes with his thumb before miming a gun against his head and pulling the trigger.

Kurt tried to cover his laugh with the back of his hand.

Blaine himself rolled his eyes. "We know these routines back to front, Wes. Let everyone enjoy the night yeah?"

Wes scowled at him and crossed his arms across his classic tux. "You mean let them all get drunk before they go on? Don't think I forgot about you stumbling around up there last year, Trent," he warned the boy sternly.

The Dom smirked as a few of the others shoved his shoulders good-naturedly. "I wasn't that bad."

"Dude, I had to pull you back by your collar to keep you from walking off the end of the stage in the middle of Frosty the Snowman," David snorted, loosening his skinny red tie that matched the exact shade of Corrine's dress.

"You should have let him brain himself," Sebastian drawled taking a sip out of his glass of punch and looking like he'd rather be anywhere else.

"Frosty is actually a sad story, it might have been appropriate," Thad mused, head titling cutely, chin resting in his palm.

Blaine smiled at the boy and his mind turned back to his Dom who was probably still cutting shapes like they were in the eighties. "Is Ryan embarrassing you yet?" he teased gesturing over his shoulder.

Thad followed his direction and simply grinned at what he saw, shrugging carelessly as mischief lit his eyes. "What can I say? He makes up for it by being awesome in bed."

"That's enough!" Wes snapped at them cutting straight through the banter and what was descending into sex talk. "I know you all wanna have a good time. Trust me I'd rather be with my own sub than having to babysit you all or listen to your sex lives. But we have ten songs to get through and I'd like to make sure everyone knows where they're supposed to be."

They all sighed and shut up and Wes nodded happily before pulling a sheet out of his inside jacket pocket.

Ten long minutes later they were all up to speed on what order they were singing in. They had four group numbers that were classic staples of previous formal's and then six smaller groups and solo's mixed up throughout the night that weren't the usual Christmas songs.

The group broke apart well before Wes could even finish the sentence that they could leave and Blaine headed straight for Nick who had been sitting in silence the whole time, fingers tapping anxiously as he kept his eyes trained on the door not listening to a word.

"Hey man," he smiled at his best friend.

"B," he nodded back eyeing him over and for brief second there was a hint of that old, constant amusement in his eyes again. "That outfits very you. Pretentious. Preppy. Hipst-hey!" he cried out when Blaine punched him on the arm.

He looked to Kurt for sympathy but found none from the sub that was death glaring at him. "I helped pick that out."

Nick shrunk back a little from the fierceness of that statement and Blaine grinned, completely turned on by his sassy, confident boy. He personally loved the outfit Kurt had found for him at his mother's studio. A white jacket and black pants, black shiny dress shoes, a blue shirt and of course, the bowtie his mother made sure she made for him as per Kurt's drawing.

He liked the way they looked together. Blaine in white and Kurt in black.

"I was kidding?" he offered cautiously and Kurt huffed but it was exaggerated so Nick knew he wasn't mad at him. He was in fact messing around after all because of course Blaine looked like he'd stepped off the cover of freaking GQ or something and Kurt could easily grace the cover of Vogue he was so striking tonight.

It brought his thoughts inevitably back around to Jeff.

What would he look like in a suit? He would bet his families fortune on absolutely breath-taking.

"Hey, um, Kurt… do you know if Jeff's planning on coming tonight?" he found himself asking despite himself, scrubbing hard at the back of his neck. He wasn't sure if he could take the answer but it was killing him inside not knowing whether or not this was the end of the road for his hopes.

Kurt and Blaine shared a look before the sub settled his sympathetic gaze on the defeated Dom in front of him. "I'm sorry I honestly don't know. I left him a suit last week and he wanted to think about it on his own for a while… he didn't tell me his decision."

"But he dropped out of the Warbler numbers," he said dully.

Blaine sighed heavily for his friend and clapped him on the back. "He could still come. Him not performing doesn't mean that he's moved out of state or something."

Nick nodded but he didn't look wholly convinced. "How about we go dance?" Kurt suggested trying to brighten his mood. "Ryan's doing some pretty interesting things on the dance-floor."

Nick appreciated the effort but shook his head. "I'm just gonna find a seat near the door until the first performance. You guys go have fun."

"Nick-" Blaine started.

"Seriously, B. Don't let me ruin your night. Dance with your sub, it's his first formal after all," he gave them another lifeless smile before slinking off into the crowd, head down, shoulders hunched and hands jammed into the pockets of his grey Dior suit. Kurt had seen pictures of it online and the man filled it out impeccably.

"I wish we could do something," Kurt sighed unhappily, watching him go.

Blaine drew him in closer and kissed his temple. "They'll work it out. They were made for each other."

Just like you and me.

He nodded and allowed Blaine to pull him towards the group in the middle of the room, now larger with the addition of David, Thad and Trent.

Corrine wolf whistled at Kurt when he smiled at her in greeting. "Well hello handsome, where have you been all my life?"

David rolled his eyes and pulled Corrine back into the curve of his hips in possessive playfulness, Blaine doing the same with Kurt. The subs laughed but didn't pull away. They all spent the next half hour or so dancing around and acting like idiots before they had to get up on stage and sing.

It was a success of course. Thad getting to lead Let It Snow, and Kurt and Blaine even got to duet Baby Its Cold Outside which was flirty and fun, the audience eating it up.

The first solo slot was David's who lead them out with Bruno Mars', Locked out of Heaven which he dedicated to Corrine who just smirked and put on a show for him like they were the only two in the room. They all continued to dance and sit and talk in turns as well as sing when they were up. Trent of course did end up drunk and fumbled his way through a truly entertaining version of an Eminem song that he had swapped in at the last minute.

The punch was spiked very early on in the night, blazers and jackets discarded and the ties loosened, heels swapped for ballet flats and stiff buns lowered to pony tails and bouncy curls across the shoulders. Blaine was one of the first to lose his jacket, sweat forming on his brow and soaking his curls as he threw himself around, Kurt laughing so hard his sides hurt and trying to keep up with the erratic, goofy idiot. They ended up grinding for the first time, something Kurt was initially hesitant about until he saw literally everyone doing it and then relaxed into the feel of Blaine hard and warm behind him, kissing at his neck and whispering sweet nothings into his ear while the lights strobe around them. It was intoxicating.

They all took it in turns to sit with Nick at different points in the night as he stared more desolately at the entrance with every passing moment. But no one knew what to say, most of them didn't even know what was wrong, though they had their suspicions of course.

The evening was winding down when Thad got back up on stage. The first strands of Passengers, Let Her Go started playing and Blaine looked at Kurt like he had been all evening, like he'd hung the moon and stars before offering his hand. "Dance with me?"

Kurt nodded and allowed himself to be led into the crush of pairing off bodies, sinking into his Dom when he pulled him close; one hand on his lower back, the other grasping Kurt's and holding it up between them in a classic waltz position.

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Blaine swayed them back and forth, nothing fancy just breathing Kurt in and appreciating the feel of him so close. Their cheeks pressed together and he felt Kurt nuzzle into the contact wrapping his arm around his shoulder tighter so that their chests were flush and their joint hands ran fingers to elbow, tucked tight to their bodies.

He closed his eyes.

Nick watched his friends from where he sat on the table nearest the door numbly.

The love between them was like a shooting star, burning so brightly and inspiring people that true love did exist. That magic like soulmates was out there. Someone that was made for you, someone you had been looking for your whole life.

He was sure that that was Jeff for him. Absolutely sure… only… it didn't look like he was going to get his happily ever after.

He palmed the folded paper he'd placed in his pocket almost like a safety blanket. It was his one piece of tangible proof that Jeff cared about him. He pulled it out and stared at the drawing of his own face, concentrating on the name at the bottom of the page. He stroked his fingers over it reverently and clenched his jaw to keep from howling out his sorrow.

Kurt caught a glimpse of Nick's miserable, downturned face and his heart wept for him, unconsciously pressing closer to Blaine for comfort. He felt soothing lips against his cheek and turned his face into the contact, seeking more intimacy, more closeness, more Blaine.

Lips caught and held, sticking together with the softness of the pressure they used before Blaine snaked the tip of his tongue over the seam of his lips. The kiss became deep and slow and languid as they turned into small circles oblivious to everyone else.

The song began to end and Nick knew it was his turn next. The last performance of the night. It seemed bitterly fitting that it was for Jeff.

His final goodbye.

He walked towards the stage like he was walking to the hangman's noose. Thad sent him an encouraging smile on his way off but Nick hardly saw it, he was too stuck in his own head. To wrapped up in his despair. The loop going round and round in his head.

He didn't come. It's over.

Give me love like him,
'Cause lately I've been waking up alone,
Paint splattered teardrops on my shirt,
Told you I'd let them go,

He didn't remember picking up the guitar, not even starting but pretty soon he was singing and he didn't think he'd ever meant something so much.

And that I'll fight my corner,
Maybe tonight I'll call ya,
After my blood turns into alcohol,
No, I just wanna hold ya.

This hurt.

Finally it hurt. It wasn't numb anymore, this was someone ripping open his chest and playing at his insides and all he could do was feel it and stare at the door still. Eyes fixed nowhere else willing with everything he had that Jeff would round that corner.

Give a little time to me or burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,
All I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, give me love,

Give me love like never before,
'Cause lately I've been craving more,
And it's been a while but I still feel the same,
Maybe I should let you go,

God he didn't want to. How could he possibly let him go when he was so tightly wound into every pore of his being? Letting him go would literally rip him in half.

He couldn't...he knew he couldn't...but he had to...

He had promised him that if he chose not to come it would mean the end, he would never bother him again.

Jeff made his choice. He didn't come and Nick knew, without a shadow of doubt that the song meant to make him see he was loved, was now a song to make him cut the ties that held him to the sub that would never be his.

He would keep the drawing that gave him hope and the memory of the night he held him in his arms.

He would make sure it was enough to last him a lifetime without him.

You know I'll fight my corner,
And that tonight I'll call ya,
After my blood is drowning in alcohol,
No, I just wanna hold ya.

Give a little time to me or burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,
All I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,

He was on the edge of the final chorus repeat and he realized the entire student body stood in complete silence, watching him fall apart in front of them with no shame, no shield to keep him safe from their pity.

He chanced and defiant glance up at them and froze. Fingers halting on the strings and lyrics trapped in his throat as his eyes locked with terrified, chocolate brown ones, partially shielded with blonde fringe.

The auditorium was wrapped in perfect silence, his classmates unmoving and respectful in the face of a real life angel materializing among them.

Jeff...

He came...he was there...

His feet turned to leave the stage to him but something stopped him; like an invisible hand holding him tight and a friendly voice whispering in his ear: finish your song...sing it for him...not as a goodbye, sing it like you had planned this whole time.

He gripped his guitar and sang his heart out in those few lines he had left as he stared at his blonde wonder and begged him not to leave now...not now when he gave him all the hope in the world.

He sang like it was the last time he would ever sing...

Give a little time to me or burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,
All I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love.

The chords petered out and there was a half second of silence that descended like a veil over the whole room. The aftermath of a shockwave where you ceased all movement as you tried to find your feet on the world again.

Only… Nick didn't have that luxury.

He pulled the guitar from around his neck and let it drop to the floor, the drum and twang fading into white noise as it hit. Their gazes never broke and he didn't think he even blinked as he vaulted down from the stage, not bothering with the stairs. Every action was urgent. Every step desperate. Every beat of his heart hopeful as he pushed through the crowd that were applauding now having recovered. He might as well have been stuck in a silent movie though because he heard none of it, barely saw the rhythmic thump of hands hitting hands through his tunnel vision.

The urge to run was strong for Jeff, courage waning the closer Nick got… but he couldn't move.

He didn't know whether it was turbulent emotions in him that seemed too heavy to drag around anymore that kept him weighted or the song that had left him dazed but what he did know was that it all revolved around Nick.

He was everywhere.

In his head, in his heart, under his skin. He was in songs, in coffee cups, in red writing and stupid clothing, in smiles and his favorite films.

He couldn't escape him, didn't want to but there was that vicious voice, that toxic whisper in his ear saying that he must. That he'd promised not to burden Nick with himself and it was the worst sort of pain to be so torn in two, hands scrabbling at him from one side, ripping into his flesh, relentless in its pull no matter how hard he tried to break free from its hold and Nick's gentle tug from the other promising nothing but all he'd ever wanted. Love. Protection. Trust.

He'd come here tonight thinking he knew what he was doing… but now it felt like everything just flew out the window and he was left floundering like a fish on dry land, gasping for breath, struggling for help because he couldn't help himself.

And then Nick was in front of him. Gorgeous and hopeful, so hopeful that it made Jeff want to cry. He didn't know if he could do this… didn't know what he was doing at all.

"You came," the Dom breathed, eyes searching his face.

Nick didn't know what else to say even though a million questions were racing though his head pushing in line for air time. Does this mean we can be together? He turned up… that's what this means right?

"I…" Jeff left his open to say more than that strangled word but he found he couldn't. He looked around at all the openly curious and staring faces, all the whispering mouths and clammed up completely.

Nick watched Jeff dart scared eyes around the room before folding in on himself, wrapping arms around his stomach and Nick wanted to gather him up and replace those arms with his. Offer safety and protection and love.

He didn't though. It killed him but he didn't, the memory of last time and its consequences still vividly fresh in his mind.

"We can go somewhere to talk," he suggested gently and Jeff snapped his eyes back to his, looking grateful as he nodded his assent.

This doesn't feel like it's supposed to.

When Nick allowed himself to picture the moment in his mind when Jeff turned up it was because he had wholeheartedly chosen to be the best part of his life, no doubts, no second thoughts… but this Jeff still looked unsure and Nick didn't know if he could take it if Jeff turned up to tell him no to his face instead of simply not coming at all.

Nick led the way outside hands clenching and unclenching in anxiousness, keeping an almost stupidly large gap between himself and Jeff's personal space. The air was biting with winter chill when they stepped out, the surrounding area pitch darkness broken up into circled patches of yellow glow coming from the lights shining through the windows. He knew it wasn't the most perfect place for a conversation but because of the cold it was the only place close enough that they'd really be able to have some privacy.

They huddled by the door in the alcove so there was at least adequate light and a semblance of warmth and stared at each other for a moment or two, neither knowing how to start.

It felt like a lifetime to Nick. A lifetime of watching and pining after someone he couldn't have and it started eating him up inside, slowly killing him because he just wanted him. He just wanted to love him. Why couldn't he have that? Why wasn't he allowed to make Jeff happy?

It flew out of his mouth before he could stop it. "Be with me."

The air hitched in Jeff throat, heart squeezing over the words like a vice trying to keep them inside always. Three little words that had the same shattering impact as the others he had confessed to him on the broken walls he was still trying to hold up inside him.

He wanted to say yes. Needed to… but Nick didn't know what he's asking. Jeff wasn't what he thought he was. He'd been going back and forth on this decision for days but that fact remained the same.

He wasn't an angel.

He swallowed past the hurt and forced the words out, wincing as they scraped his throat raw. "I can't be with you."

Nick felt like the world has just fell out from under him but it didn't hurt like he thought it would, he just felt numb. In denial.

No, no, no, no…

He couldn't accept it. Not after all this.

He scrambled for his pocket and the folded paper there that he'd looked over a thousand times and ripped it out holding it in between them like a lifeline. "You care about me, Jeff. I know you do. You came here tonight-"

"I know-"

"You can't tell me you don't care about me the way I care about you!" he barreled on relentlessly, feeling tears prick his eyes as he waved the drawing between them.

Jeff felt hot streams already trekking down his own cheeks as he stared at the paper shaking between Nick's tensed fingers. He was scared of what he might find but he took it for himself, careful to avoid touching skin, knowing that one brush could send him over the edge and opened it up.

His stomach lurched as he stared at the drawing he drew, the one he thought he lost and he's struck by how worn the paper is already. The creases are deep like it had been opened and closed a million times and where he'd signed his name is smudged like someone had run their fingers over it repeatedly. He bit his lip hard over the mental image.

"You care about me," Nick told him quietly and Jeff couldn't deny it.

Another tear fell hot and molten and dripped onto the paper. He raised his eyes again. "Yes… I do."

It felt so much worse having the words in the air though screaming between them in the silence, having Nick know them because it's going to hurt so much more when Nick rejects him when he knows the truth about who he is. But he couldn't take them back, wasn't sure even that he wanted to really because the least he owed Nick was honesty.

Nick was speechless. Struck dumb by actually hearing those words, the confirmation of something he could have made up all in his head confirmed in Jeff's own beautiful voice. Something he'd began to fear would never happen all night long.

He cares about me…

He surged forwards suddenly, fuelled now by the fire Jeff just sparked, fingers closing over Jeff's on the drawing and tingling at the contact. He felt Jeff shiver as well and didn't know whether it's from the cold or him… he hoped it was the latter. "Then be with me," he begged hoarsely. "Be mine, angel."

Jeff shook his head, trying to control the urge to break down and sob. "You don't want to be with me, you don't… what he did… you don't know what he made me!"

Nick felt that self-same spark of rage whenever the sub's ex Dom was mentioned but he managed to keep his head because Jeff needed him in that moment. He looked so defeated. So lost and devastated while he hated himself for someone else's failings that Nick had to do something to comfort him. It wasn't not a choice anymore.

He reached out and cupped the blonde's splotchy cheek, wiping away the tears as best he could and he ached when he felt Jeff leaning into the contact like he couldn't help it. Like he needed him.

Its heart calling out to heart and Dom calling out to sub and Nick reacts on all levels.

"I fell in love with your broken, beautiful soul," he repeated passionately, enthusing himself into the words so much that he feels empty afterwards. He's poured everything he is into Jeff's hands.

The blondes face crumpled. "You shouldn't have," he sobbed, hitting at his chest weakly and he wanted to explain why. Tell him everything that happened to him so he could see how wrong he was for him...how wrong for anything else but solitude, but he couldn't seem to find the words. "You deserve better-"

"Shhh," Nick hushed pulling them closer still, so that their arms and hands that were still joined tightly are trapped between their chests. "There's no one better. You were meant to be mine, angel. Heaven sent you," he whispered, stroking his thumb along the smooth arch of his damp cheekbone.

Jeff's closed his eyes, soaking in the warmth of Nick's skin greedily never wanting him to let go. He knew all it would take was a touch. A single point of contact for him to die to give in.

"Do you want to be with me?" Nick asked, soft and gentle.

Jeff kept his eyes closed. It was easier to admit the truth that way. "I'd rather be yours than anybody's in the whole world... but I promised myself I wouldn't. I promised."

"Don't do this for him," Nick beseeched, a tear spilling over and sliding down his face at last. "Don't let him win this way, please. He was an animal and he never deserved you, Jeff. But you're not ruined. You're not what you think you are," he told him desperately, leaning his head in closer so that their foggy breathes mingled.

Jeff opened his watery eyes, in awe of how sincere Nick sounded when he said that. The words bloomed something in his chest, the small, limp flower there that had been stuck so long in the cold finally seeing a shred of sunlight as Nick reached deep down within him.

"Every second that I'm not with you feels like I can't breathe," he admitted, the words skating across his lips, sounding open and wounded. "Say yes?"

It was posed as a question. No command or demand. Jeff's choice wholly and completely and it's such a stark contrast to what he knows. What he had endured at the hands of someone who just wanted a plaything to own. He was nothing more than a doll to Kevin, not meant to have opinions, not meant to have feelings, only there to please and look pretty and be used by a will not his own.

And here Nick is… how he's always been. Honest and kind, treating him like an equal. Like he mattered and it's all Jeff ever wanted… only he's shying away from it now. Using excuses and barriers to hold him at length, to keep himself suffering for reasons he doesn't rightly understand. He told himself he didn't want another Dom, but Nick isn't just that, Jeff doesn't view him that way. When he looks at him he doesn't see power and ways that he can make him suffer.

He just sees Nick.

Nick who says he loves him, all of him, no matter how scarred or broken. Nick who says he needs him, wants him, desires him above everyone else.

Jeff loves him.

He can't help it. He'd admitted that quietly inside his own mind at least, but now it was really hitting him and it was the most powerful feeling he'd ever felt and the hardest thing to fight against.

And why was he fighting? He thought of all the reasons from earlier, all the reasons that made him come here tonight. He thought of the song Nick had sung him. The words he had told him.

He was sick of punishing himself. He wanted to be selfish. Just this once. He could just have Nick right? It wasn't like he wanted anything else, would never ask for anything else. No money. No power. He'd live with him in Lima in a shack and be completely content. "There's things you don't know," he started. "Things that happened to me… I'm really messed up, Nick," he admitted, voice strangled, more tears spilling when he met sad, brown eyes. "But I want you. I tried to tell myself I didn't but I want to be with you… that's all I ever want but once you know you'll look at me different, I know you will."

The speech both elated and broke Nick's heart all at once.

He shook his head and framed his face with both hands now, stroking over his cheek and into his fair hair. "Nothing could make me change the way I feel about you. You could secretly be a cannibal and I'd still feel exactly the same," he attempted the weak joke with a small smile but it wasn't funny because Nick's tone and open face were wholly serious.

Jeff's grasped Nick's forearms, drawing crinkling in one hand against his jacket, to steady his legs that felt like they were about to buckle.

The air between them changed, became charged in a whole different way.

Nick swallowed and tried to draw air in and out but his lungs had frozen up. Eyes were drawn down to pink lips against his will and god it was torture. The, should I, shouldn't I debate. Jeff had just admitted to wanting to be with him, to caring for him but he needed it in black and white. Definitive.

"Be mine?" he asked again. One last time.

They locked stares.

Jeff had never felt anything like it before. Something that made him feel scared and yet safe at the same time. Made him ache with want instead of hurt. His eyes bounced back and forth between the Doms finding nothing but affection there, no hidden agendas. It suddenly felt like standing on the edge of a cliff with only two options left. Run away for good or take the leap.

He fell.

"Yes."

It was like a supernova exploded inside of the Dom. "Yes?" he asked dizzily, the beginnings of a smile so wide splitting his face.

Jeff choked a happy sob this time because that's truthfully all he felt right now and he hadn't had this in years. All the dark spots chased away, heat finally warming him all the way through to his bones even though it was freezing out here. "Yes. I've nothing to give you...but..."

"You already gave me the world with that single yes," he promised and pulled him closer still, feeling the lithe body shivering next to his.

"Nick..." he whispered and the Dom raised his head to look him in the eye, awe and pride etched into his skin.

"Can I...can I kiss you?" he asked and Jeff froze for a moment, flashes of bitten lips and drops of blood crossing his mind. The only kisses he knew.

"Please don't hurt me," he pleaded in fear and Nick gasped, aching to find the bastard who made him afraid to be kissed.

"Never angel. I'll never hurt you. My kisses, my hands, my words, they will never do anything to make you hurt. I promise you," he said heatedly and Jeff nodded once, fear still lacing his beautiful features.

He smoothed his thumbs across perfect cheeks and gave him a smile that lit up his soul.

"I love you," he whispered again and then Nick leant in those last few inches and Jeff could feel his pulse hammering in his ears, could smell the Dom's aftershave as he tentatively closed the gap. Their lips barely brushed and their gazes were still locked, the blonde trying to control his ragged breathing and he could feel himself nodding, saying silently that it was alright even as his body stayed alert and ready to close in on the world at the first flash of pain.

It never came.

Nick pulled back to make doubly sure, only to be drawn back down helplessly because he couldn't stay away. Not now. Fuck they were kissing… finally they were kissing and it was better than any fantasy or daydream. God so much better.

Flesh met flesh with the gentlest of pressures, off center and clumsy, hardly even pressing down at all and it was fireworks and sparks and electricity. Jeff's vice grip on his arms tightened and the most beautiful sound escaped him when he realigned their lips to slot together, once, twice… he lost count of how many times.

Jeff could taste salt on his tongue from where he was still crying, knew that Nick could too which was a heady thought. More intimate than even the tender way he was kissing him… and Jeff had never been kissed this way. With so much passion and care. It was surreal.

They broke apart after an undefined amount of time to gasp in lungfuls of air, Nick resting their foreheads together as he began laughing giddily. Jeff opened his tingling lips to ask why only to be cut off by his mouth again as it began pecking kisses one after the other.

"You," kiss, "wont," kiss, "be," kiss, "sorry." Three kisses in succession that made Jeff's head spin but suddenly he was smiling, feeling this rush of adrenaline and happiness now that the shock from the initial kiss had worn off. "I'm gonna take such good care of you, angel," he whispered, nuzzling their noses.

Jeff broke from their current hold to throw himself at Nick, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and burying his face in the curve of the Dom's neck. The sub in him purred at this. Finally. A calm washed over him, so strong and sure he thought he could just fall asleep here in his arms. Nick cupped the back of his head and wrapped an arm tight around his waist kissing at his temple over and over like he couldn't get enough, like Jeff was precious.

He shut his eyes and let himself feel for a moment and they stay like that until someone knocks on the door.

Jeff peeked out from his hiding spot, eyes heavy and spotted Kurt and Blaine watching them with undisguised joy and disbelief on their faces and the strange thing was that Jeff didn't feel ashamed. Didn't feel the need to pull back and defend himself, say it wasn't what it looked like, because he trusted Kurt with his life and Blaine had proven himself twice over that he's worthy too and they just look so happy for them.

Nick gestured them in, meeting his best friends ecstatic gaze with one of his own. He still thought he'd wake up any moment.

"Please tell me that this is what it looks like," Kurt begged, snuggling into Blaine's arms and biting his lip hopefully as he looks at them.

Nick glanced down at the gift in his arms and leant into his ear saying, loud enough for everyone to hear but just for Jeff as he channeled his Dominant voice and finally placed the claim he'd wanted to since that first day.

"He is mine."

---

"I can't believe that happened! Blaine...can you believe that happened? Jeff is Nick's. He's finally loved the way he's supposed to be," Kurt bounced all the way to the entrance to the mansion from the car, giddy and giggly and happy and Blaine couldn't even blame him.

He unlocked the door, trying not to keep scanning eyes up and down Kurt as he leant on the wall next to him. Unknowingly enticing.

"I know baby. I know. It was amazing to see them both so happy," Blaine replied to his excited sub, smiling as he led him through the darkened house, years spent there teaching him where to step to avoid colliding with things in the dark.

"I'm sooo tired. But I'm so happy. Tonight was perfect Blaine," he sighed dreamily, clinging onto his arm as Blaine let them into their room and collapsed on the bed Kurt letting go unfortunately so he didn't come down with him, doing his best to pay attention to his sub but he was so tired and sore he could barely keep his eyes open.

"'m glad you had a good time lovely," Kurt heard his Dom slur and he smiled gently as he took him in, blazer wrinkled and bowtie undone as he star-fished across their bed.

Something inside of him shifted at the sight of him so slumped and small on the bed and the sudden need to make him feel strong and big again made him stumble as he kicked off his dress shoes.

His Dom was larger than life. Confident, powerful, strong.

And like that he made Kurt's submission purr in quiet satisfaction at being safe and protected by him all the time. But like this...he made another kind of submissive instincts perk up; the ones that balanced, the one that paid back what it got from the Dominance Blaine gave him, the one that nurtured and replenished and empowered.

He needed to make him feel better, strong again and a pull from the inside made him cross the room and kneel next to his Dom on the bed, running cautious fingers across his chest.

Blaine snapped his eyes open at the first touch and locked them with hesitant blue ones.

"Lovely?" he asked curiously and Kurt slipped his fingers to the top button of his shirt and popped it open.

"I...I want to make you feel good...I want to try..." he said, avoiding his eyes and Blaine captured his hand in his to prevent him from going further, sitting up and cupping his chin gently.

He recognized the inherent need in a submissive to please, to care for and he wanted to give Kurt the chance to explore that. The Dom in him was practically salivating at the idea.

"Baby, look at me," he demanded and Kurt tore his gaze from their locked fingers and looked up at him through his forest of curled lashes. "You always make me feel good." He reassured but he wasn't going to deny Kurt what he needed. What they both needed at this point. "Tell me what you want?"

Kurt looked at him, trying to figure out how to do this and not fail completely. What could he do to make Blaine feel better and please the Dom inside? Perhaps by simply listening to what his blood whispered to him…

"Lie down, please, sir," he said demurely, every mannerism submissive from his exposed neck, to his kneeling position on the bed and Blaine felt his dominance surge with power as he went to comply.

He was almost down when Kurt spoke again.

"Um...could you...um...the clothes...could you take off the clothes?" he asked biting his lip and Blaine grinned at him, feeling far more awake than ever as his cock gave an interested twitch.

"Naughty boy," he whispered and Kurt blushed fiercely as he watched Blaine rose to his feet beside the bed to shrug off his shirt, then take off his shoes and dress pants before hooking his thumbs under the waist band of his briefs.

"No...leave those on, please," Kurt requested hastily, not knowing he was totally ready for that just yet and Blaine snapped the elastic back onto his skin, sitting lower on his hips to reveal the perfect vee of his groin and the sight and sound made Kurt's stomach knot pleasantly with arousal.

Jumping back up on the bed he settled down, only to flop over onto his stomach once Kurt asked him too, head turned sideways to look at his sub scanning him with gorgeous blue eyes.

"Like what you see?" he teased and Kurt blushed to the roots of his still high and swept hair, nodding shyly and making Blaine chuckle at the cuteness.

"Watcha gonna do to me?" he asked eagerly and Kurt stood up a plan forming in his mind, walking to the dresser where most of his cosmetics were stored. He opened a drawer, pulling out a pale yellow bottle, flushing hotly at the thought of what he was about to do before walking back to the bed.

He dropped the bottle onto the comforter next to Blaine's hip and Blaine only had enough time to read the word vanilla before his attention was well and truly captured as his sub began undressing before his very eyes.

His brain short circuited.

"God, you're magical," he breathed out, thinking he'd never really get over how flawless his sub was. It made him want to put in rules to make them be naked all day every day, and he was only half kidding.

Kurt finally awarded him with a smile that felt sincere, relaxed and mind numbingly beautiful and it went straight to his heart to keep.

He took off the rest of his clothes apart from his black briefs and with a moment of hesitation, he climbed onto the bed, slinging a leg over Blaine and settling on his hips making him hiss and squirm under his weight. Biting back a roan because Kurt was straddling him.

Oh fuck.

"Am I heavy, sir?" he asked innocently and Blaine smashed his face in the cover for a moment to keep from blowing his load there and then. That genuinely guileless tone, submissive and pure in every facet, was one of his biggest kinks apparently.

Kurt popped the bottle open as he waited for his answer and poured a bit of oil on his hands, the scent of vanilla washing over the both of them.

Blaine hummed underneath him and Kurt could feel the vibration on his knees where they were pressed tight to his sides. "Not at all...love feeling you on my, baby," Blaine said, a breathy lilt in his voice making the sub in Kurt purr.

"Okay...hold still please," he asked and slathered the oil on his skin, the liquid warmed up on his palm and comforting on his flesh.

Blaine melted into the mattress and groaned when Kurt dug slender fingers into tense muscles on his back and kneaded, releasing the tension and removing some of the aches from his body.

Kurt felt empowered by the pleased sounds his Dom was making under his touch and he spread his palms just above his shoulder blades, digging the heel into the skin and fanning the fingers out to brush his neck and shoulders as he dragged the pressure down and outwards, covering Blaine's back with his capable touch that left him visibly relaxed and calm.

Spreading his legs wider for better access he dipped his hands into the dimples at the bottom of his spine and allowed his thumbs to slip under the band of his briefs teasingly just for a fraction of a second making Blaine growl, a sound that made him shiver.

"Such a tease, lovely," he reprimanded jokingly and Kurt pinched his sides in retaliation a smirk playing unseeing on his lips.

"Sorry, sir," he said, biting his lip to stifle the urge to giggle.

"You don't sound sorry at all you little...ohh..." he trailed off in a soft moan when he felt a pair of lips at the back of his neck, brushing his mark.

His body tensed and arched towards the soft touch as if it was out of his control completely. Fuck. He just wanted Kurt closer, so much closer.

There was another kiss, this time on his shoulder and another one in the middle of his back and it only took him a second to realize what was happening when Kurt started kissing every millimetre down his back, seeming not to want to miss an inch.

He was rock hard by now, trying to rub himself against the sheets but Kurt's weight on him restricted his movement and turned it all into the sweetest kind of torture as rose bud lips neared the bottom of his back and a tentative tongue traced the edge of his boxer briefs, frustratingly far from where it was needed.

"Lovely," he gasped and Kurt kissed back up laving a hot lick over his mark that made him jolt in pure pleasure before aligning his lips with his ear.

"Yes sir?" he crooned and Blaine felt like he could die just like that, from the vibrato in his voice and his hot breath on his skin.

"Need you so badly, Kurt. Kiss me," he commanded and Kurt lowered his head to kiss directly on top of his mark again, sucking a little and making him moan loudly, eyes rolling back in his head.

Shit, he couldn't take it anymore.

He flipped over under Kurt, bringing them face to face with, cocks pressed together finally and lips inches away.

"Kiss me, lovely," he said again, dominance seeping out of his very pores and into the words and Kurt shivered, leaning down and locking their lips as his knees gave out and he sprawled on top of Blaine, naked skin burning at the touch and both of them moaning loudly into each other's mouths.

Kurt felt them both so clearly, so strongly, so hard next to each other, so desperate for each other that if he could have fused them into one he would have and before he could stop himself he rocked down, tentative and unsure.

"Blaine," he whimpered involuntarily, the name dripping with reverence.

This was uncharted territory, he had no idea what he was doing. The last time they did this, Blaine was in charge, Blaine led them, Blaine showed him.

But now he was letting him take the lead.

He was the one responsible for making his Dom feel good and he shivered with nerves and then arousal when Blaine's hands slipped inside his briefs and cupped his ass, pushing him forward, coaxing him on.

"Don't hesitate, beautiful boy. Whatever feels good...just do it," he encouraged low and rough and Kurt buried his head in his neck, nodding briefly before rocking forward again experimentally, undecided on the pressure or angle to try and use.

"I...I want to make it good for you, sir," he whispered almost whimpered shakily as his hips stuttered on top of him, every brush of their cocks sending electric shocks through his body.

Blaine's whole body tensed at those words and he pushed his hips up towards him instinctively.

"Everything you do is good baby...anything. Just feel...let go..." he praised, feeling like he'd burn up if Kurt stopped now and his sub lifted his head, capturing his lips again in a searing kiss as he grinded into him with more confidence, drawing desperate moans from the both of them.

They kissed, messy and wet and biting as they sought friction from each other, rushing towards something that kept escaping them somehow and Kurt was getting hot and bothered.

He pushed his hips down, trying to find that feeling Blaine woke in him that tipped him over the edge the last time they did this but it just wasn't there...wasn't enough...

He moaned in frustration, hips coming down faster and harder as he tried to find the same sensations through doing this. It was impossible. "Sir...I...I can't...I want..." he stammered but he couldn't find a way to say what he wanted...couldn't bring himself to voice it.

Blaine squeezed his ass between his palms, eyeing Kurt's discontented expression, the wild look in his eyes that screamed for something, anything. It stirred something in Blaine, strong and powerful. "What do you need, Kurt? What do you want? Tell me!" he ordered darkly and his sub shook with the force of his command, closing his eyes and moaning as it washed over him.

"I want to touch you. I want to see you and make you come, sir," he begged desperately and Blaine rolled him over so they faced each other, resting on their sides panting.

He took Kurt's hand and brought it down between his legs looking at his face intently as his sub licked his lips and fanned his fingers to cup him completely, pressing down cautiously and making Blaine throw his head back and hiss as that delicate hand moved over him, felt him out, explored to his heart's content.

"Sir...can I..." he asked, spider fingers sneaking beneath his briefs and brushing the head of his cock with his fingertips.

His whole body jerked and bowed into that tentative stroke of fingers. "God, fuck... anything... anything you want, baby," he moaned out, hips canting up and into his hand fully as he wrapped it around the heated flesh and moved it timidly.

Oh god, he had Blaine in his hand.

"I don't know-" he started but Blaine surged up to kiss him.

"Perfect, my beautiful boy. You're perfect. Just don't stop. Make me come baby," he encouraged and praised and fuck he needed to come. This was going to be embarrassingly short but he couldn't even find it in himself to feel embarrassed when it felt so god damned amazing.

The hand on him sped up, encouraged by the words and the moans and Blaine fucked up into his fist unable to help himself as he bit and gasped into Kurt's swollen mouth.

It only took seconds before Blaine was seeing fucking stars, a strangled sound that sounded like his name spilling into the air around them as he spilled into the subs hand, biting down on his plush bottom lip to keep himself from screaming.

And Kurt came untouched, whining high and pitchy, just from witnessing and feeling everything Blaine had to give, what he'd done to him. All that dominant strength flooding out of him because he made it so and sending Kurt to another dimension. It was an intoxicating, heady cocktail that set him on fire.

They collapsed down together exhausted and spent.

---

"Well look who decided to grace us with their presence," Dana chirped when she saw her son padding into the dining room, wild haired and eyes half opened, his adorably sleep flushed sub clinging to his neck and hips as he gave him a piggy back ride and lowered him onto the chair.

"Mom...please keep it down," Blaine whined petulantly slumping into his own chair and pouted when he realized he'd have to get back up and make some more toast for him and Kurt if they planned to eat anything. It was the only reason they had dressed and got out of bed, because their stomach were rumbling from all the… ah… activity, last night. Blaine tried and failed to hold back his smug grin at the memory, feeling himself get hard in his pajama pants.

"My everything hurts," Kurt cried quietly, resting his head on his folded arms on the table and Blaine almost jumped up, well as much as he could in his beat up state despite the stellar, sort of aborted massage last night and brought his hands up and onto his shoulders, squeezing lightly and smoothening the knots he found there.

He caught Kurt's eye when he glanced back at him and stuck his tongue in the corner of his mouth cheekily. Kurt squeaked and hide back in his arms, face flushing beautifully.

"How much did you two have to drink last night?" Jared asked chuckling at their disheveled state, none the wiser of what they'd gotten up to and the two of them shook their heads in unison.

"Nothing. We just ended up dancing like crazy the whole night and now everything hurts so much..." Blaine explained, omitting other vigorous activities and his parents huffed out a laugh.

"Well, have some breakfast and then you can go back to bed until you feel better. Sound good?" she asked and the two of them nodded, eyes shining at the prospect of just going back to bed shutting the light out and cuddling until they felt their muscles unwind and relax once again.

"Awesome...would you mind making us some toast?" Blaine decided to milk his mother's good mood as much as he could but she hit him with her best bitch glare and he cowered.

"Don't push it darling," she said sweetly, sipping her tea and he nodded letting go of Kurt's shoulders and heaving himself up, turning towards the kitchen.

"Do you want some help, sir?" Kurt answered to the sub inside him to make his Dom happy but Blaine just smiled and walked back to peck his lips gently.

"You just sit and relax. I'll take care of you," he assured, the unspoken, you took perfect care of me last night, unsaid and kissed his forehead before walking back to the kitchen leaving a blushing Kurt to recount their night to their parents, also omitting details.

He walked back in a few minutes later with a tray of breakfast things for them to find his dad unwrapping the newspapers and his mother and Kurt laughing at Kurt's description of some of the less successful clothing choices from last night.

He chuckled at a couple of Kurt's descriptions when a gasp from his dad made him jump in his seat and look at him in question.

Jared held the papers out to them and the three of them leaned over the offered page, eyes going wide and blood pounding.

"Oh god," Kurt said but there was a small smile playing in the corner of his lips that told a tale of how proud he was of what he saw.

"Oh god is right," Dana said managing to look graceful but Blaine could almost hear the gears in her head spinning.

"Well...this will cause an interesting reaction, won't it?" he settled for the mildest reaction he could have and his parents laughed at his assessment.

"That's one way of putting it I guess," Jared agreed and they leaned back to read the page to the end, anxious and excited about what was to come from this.

---

Okay so we know that this chapter doesn't have the interview in, but we kind of got carried away with developing the Klaine and Niff plots that it ended up not fitting here… other than the brief mention at the end… it will 100% be the first thing on the next chapter though! Thanks everyone for voting, Thyan kinda won by a landlside! xD

Please review as always!
Love A&M