2
They were sitting on the couch, facing one another. The window beside Shay's bed was cracked open and a chill breeze encircled them. They had not let go of one another's hands since Cosima had begun explaining her journey, her life, what brought her where she currently was. Shay could not say she understood it all though. There were still some parts that did not completely add up to her, some things were just not aligning. But she wouldn't worry about those details right now. Right now, all she was focused on was helping Cosima heal.
"So they're the reason why you're sick." Shay said, looking down at the card in her hand. It was meant to be posed as a question but it came out more like a statement.
"Well, basically, yeah." Cosima said. "We all, uh, some of us have a defect." The clinical nature of the word she had to use hit her full force. She sniffled a bit, and held back a few coughs. Shay could tell that she was beginning to break down. Cosima could not keep it together for any longer. Shay gathered her in her arms and she felt Cosima finally begin to relax under her embrace. Cosima's tears began to mark her sweater but Shay needed them. She didn't mind them.
She let Cosima let it all out. By now she was bawling, shivering with grief. Shay was startled a bit. This behavior was nothing like chill, bubbly, vibe Shay had got from the woman when they had first met just a few days prior. Shay inhaled Cosima's scent. Earth and vanilla and eucalyptus. Some undertones of pot although she had yet to see Cosima actually smoke it. Cosima smelt fresh and crisp, like apples. Cosima felt warm. Her jolts and gasps had lessened to the point where they were breathing in unison. It was like they were one. Shay held Cosima in front of her so she could look at her. She could see the grief, the internal pain in the waves of Cosima's face. In the semi circles underneath her eyes. Shay was marked by her pain. Cosima leaned into Shay, rested her head into the crook of her shoulder, and breathed. Just breathed. It was somehow the easiest she had breathed all week. It was amazing how much Shay made her feel at ease. Cosima began to trace the specks on Shay's arms, the freckle on her shoulder blade. Cosima kissed there. Then she kissed Shay's neck but for longer. Shay sighed, eyes closed, her whole body ready to succumb to Cosima. Shay leaned her head back. Meanwhile, Cosima kept kissing, anywhere and everywhere she could from the neck up. Cosima met Shay's lips, her mouth ablaze with passion. Shay leaned into her and met her with matched fervor. Cosima had her hands around the back of Shay's neck. Her lips were soft and subtle, moving with Shay's like low tide. Shay had reciprocated with lips but with touches too. She grazed the outside of Cosima's arm, ran her hand down Cosima's side, making sure to put emphasis on the slight obtrusion of Cosima's breast.
"Cosima." She said breathily as she pulled Cosima back.
She reached behind Cosima's ears and gently removed her glasses. Cosima watched as Shay folded them and set them on the side table. Shay put her hands her backs on Cosima's hips, Cosima's at the bottom of Shay's sweater. They soon regained equilibrium.
Shay had to shuffle around some of the comforters to find Cosima in the ocean that was her duvet. She had been oscillating in and out of sleep, but during the last few times she woke up, she was sure she could hear a few sniffles and uneasy breaths coming from Cosima's prostrate body.
"Hey," Shay said. She put her arm around Cosima's bare stomach. "Babe."
"Why are you crying?"
Cosima shook her head as Shay wiped away the tears from the eyes that refused to see her.
"I," Cosima started. "God, I don't know."
"You're just too good." Cosima said. "You're just too damn good and I don't deserve you."
Shay leaned over on her elbow, her head resting in the crook of her palm. She looked down at Cosima who was beginning to play with the few strands of hair that her fell in front of profile. Shay look at her in complete adoration before she smirked down at cosima.
"Come on, let's get you a bath."