Chapter 24: Coming Through
Gillian sat quietly for a long while, analyzing the information Caroline had just given her. Although she had been surprised at Fiona's past affiliations, she was finding it difficult to see how any of that really mattered now. She had spent enough time around Fiona to know that whatever she may have been like in the past, she was certainly not that same person now. Also she, maybe more so than other people, knew all too well about doing things you weren't necessarily proud of, and how hard it was to right them again. She felt Fiona and Caroline were too good a match to let a blip from Fiona's past get between them. Even if Caroline wouldn't like her opinion, she was going to give it anyway.
"Well, you know what I think?" She sits up straighter in her seat, running her hands down her thighs.
"What?" Caroline says wryly, anticipating the onslaught to begin.
"I think you should let it go. It was in her past, and she's not that person now. She loves you and Flora and I think she's great for the two of you." She raises her eyebrow and nods her head in a matter of fact way.
"But she lied. Well, she hid it from me, like she knew she was guilty." Caroline gestures, tapping the side of her hand on the table.
"Yea, well she was. She's not proud of it and she has changed. We've all done things we aren't proud of Caroline, it's the learning and moving on from those mistakes that matter though. I don't think I need to remind you of what I've done…and you were able to forgive me for that." She cuts a narrow glance to Caroline, showing the severity of her words.
"But I'm supposed to be marrying her."
"Then all the more reason to forgive her. You know her, you know what's in her heart and you wouldn't have fallen in love with her if she wasn't a good person. You're smarter than that Caroline. You're smarter than this too. You know people can change, and I think you know she has, you're just…being a snotty bitch." She winks before returning to a more serious gaze. Caroline feigns offense then shakes her head, a small smile appearing on her lips. She sits quietly for a moment, looking out the window, absorbing the surprising words of wisdom.
"Who would have thought I'd be taking advice from such low life trailer trash?" She finally speaks, turning from the window and flashing a devilish smile that provokes a laugh from Gillian.
"Yea well, don't get used to it because I'm sure to cock things up again pretty soon." She smiles in return and they share a robust laugh as Caroline reaches across the table and takes Gillian's hand, giving it a thankful squeeze.
oOo
Caroline sat on the bench in the garden, watching Flora play. The little girl was carrying her pail and collecting rocks and leaves from along the footpath. Every so often she would come barreling over to Caroline to show off her latest find. Caroline would happily take the items and make a lavish show of her admiration for their beauty. Flora wandered off again, moving to the bushes along the path, picking the flowers and singing to herself. Caroline watched in amusement for a while at her beautiful little girl.
Eventually her thoughts drifted to Fiona, and then to the conversation she had had with Gillian, just over 3 weeks ago. She had known that day that Gillian was right, and she had been overreacting. The past was something you couldn't ignore, but it didn't completely define your future.
She had wanted to call Fiona a few times since, but would always chicken out, unable, not surprisingly, to think of the right words to say. There had been a handful of texts between them, mostly only cordial inquiries of the other's or Flora's wellbeing. The last 6 weeks had been harder than she had anticipated, Fiona's absence weighing heavy on her heart. It seemed Flora had also found it difficult, inquiring daily about Fiona and being much fussier than her usual jovial self. Caroline wondered if she had made a mistake asking Fiona to leave, but had decided it was the right decision to allow her time to understand and get over the hurt that Fiona had kept that part of her past a secret for so long.
The last 6 weeks had been pure agony for Fiona. She had wanted nothing more than to hear Caroline's voice and hold her again in her arms. She missed Flora equally as much and thought of them both every day. She knew, however, that Caroline had to come to a decision on her own, and pushing her would only make matters worse, so she sat impatiently agonizing and waiting for the call she so desperately needed to hear.
oOo
Caroline was brought back to reality by the muffled sound of Flora's voice. She looked down to her daughter who was scratching vigorously at her face.
"Mummy, my face tickles." Flora complained as she scratched.
"Here sweetheart, let me have a look." She pulls back Flora's hands to find that the little girls' face is covered in bright red welts. She jumps up and picks up Flora, heading toward the house.
"Did you touch the bushes love? Or did you see a bug?" Caroline urgently asks, seeing that the swelling and redness seem to be increasing.
"No mummy. It itches!" Flora again reaches to her face as tears start to well in her eyes.
"Alright sweetheart, try not to touch it. Let mummy get her purse and we're going to the doctor." Caroline rushes into the kitchen and down the front hall, grabbing her purse and keys at the door.
She runs to the car, fastening Flora into her seat before jumping in and driving toward the hospital. She positions the rearview mirror so Flora is in sight and presses the button on the steering wheel for the phone. She dials Celia first and gets no answer, so she tries Alan, only to get the same. She tries Gillian, and again gets no answer there. Panic is starting to grip her chest and she keeps checking the mirror to look at Flora. The welts have now spread down her neck and across her chest.
"Hold on sweetheart, we're almost there." She calls to Flora, who is now crying in the back seat, scratching incessantly at the new bumps.
Caroline again calls Celia, desperately hoping for an answer. When she gets no response she hits the phone button again and instinctively dials Fiona. Fiona picks up on the second ring.
"Caroline?" she answers as a shy question, obviously caught off guard by Caroline's call.
"Fiona, it's Flora. Something's wrong. I'm on the way to hospital now." She blurts before she can even think.
"St. Ann's?" Fiona instantly responds.
"Yes, I'm almost there."
"I'm on the way." The phone clicks and Caroline sighs in relief, just as she pulls into the casualty entrance.
Fiona jumps up from the couch, startling Emma and Clare.
"Something's happened to Flora, I've got to go to hospital." She heads toward the door, grabbing her purse and keys off the hook. She looks to Clare, who gives her an understanding nod, then turns and rushes out the door, never realizing she's not wearing shoes.
oOo
Caroline runs into the casualty entrance carrying a crying Flora in her arms. The nurse at the desk sees her approach and jumps up, hitting the button for the door and rushes around to meet Caroline. She holds out her arms to take Flora from her and motions with her head for Caroline to follow. They head into an empty bed and the nurse pages for a doctor.
"Ok, can you tell me what happened?" The doctor asks as he enters the room, moving to examine Flora.
"We were in the garden and she was playing in the yard. She came up to me complaining of itching and when I looked she was covered in those bright red welts. They started on her face, but have spread down her neck and chest in the last 15 minutes." Caroline stands next to the bed, holding Flora's hand, trying to calm and soothe the terrified child.
"Did she get stung by an insect, or do you have stinging plants?" The doctor questions as he listens to Flora's lungs.
"No, no I don't think so. " Caroline's worry is increasing with each question, fearing her daughter is in danger.
"This looks like some sort of allergic reaction. Let me start an antihistamine and steroid and we can see how she responds, then go from there. We'll take care of her, don't worry." He smiles warmly to Caroline, trying to put her at ease.
oOo
Fiona pulls into the first space she finds in the car park and starts off to the casualty entrance at a dead run. She rushes to the front desk, where a nurse stands up to greet her.
"Can I help you miss? Is someone hurt?"
"Umm, no, well yes. I'm looking for Flora McKenzie-Dawson. She's 4 years old, here with her mother Caroline." Fiona stutters between gasping for air, the run having made her breathless.
"And who are you? A relative?" The nurse questions in a polite, but crisp tone.
"Fiona Doy…Dawson. Yes, I'm her stepmother." The little white lie came off her tongue in an instant.
"Ok, Mrs. Dawson, step to the doors and I'll take you back." The nurse points to the double doors just by the desk and Fiona quickly steps to them. The doors open and the nurse ushers her to the bay where Flora is being treated. The curtain is drawn closed and as the nurse reaches to open it Fiona braces herself, not knowing what to expect once it's opened. As the nurse opens the curtain Fiona first sees Flora sitting on the stretcher, playing with the IV tubes on the bed and her heart skips a beat seeing the state of the little girl. She then sees Caroline, sitting in the chair next to her, her hands gently rubbing Flora's leg, a deep furrow in her brow. Caroline looks up from her chair and sees Fiona, an undistinguishable look flashes across her face. Fiona feels her heart leap into her throat.
"Here you are Mrs. Dawson, I'll be right back with another chair for you." The nurse ushers Fiona into the room before leaving and drawing the curtain closed again. Flora looks up from the IV in her arm and sees Fiona, a megawatt smile appears on her face, her perfect white teeth making the red welts stand out even more.
"Fi! You're here!" Flora tries to stand up to hug Fiona, but Fiona steps up to her to prevent her from pulling on the IV, just as Caroline grabs hold of her to keep her still.
"Yes sweetheart, I'm here. It looks like you've got some boo-boos. How about you sit down and relax so the doctor can make you all better, ok?" She stands next to the bed until Flora has again sat down then kisses her head before stepping over to Caroline. Caroline looks up at her from the chair, a somewhat confused look on her face.
"Mrs. Dawson? What was that about?" Caroline finally asks.
"I had to tell them that Caroline, or they wouldn't have let me come back." Caroline looks at Fiona, a flash of recognition registering in her eyes. She inhales slowly then releases the breath on a long sigh. Fiona's heart pounds in her throat, fearing Caroline's reaction to her bold move.
"Well…I'm glad you're here, thank you." A small smile crosses her lips, her eyes conveying her gratitude. Fiona smiles back timidly.
"So, what did the doctor say?" The nurse pulls the curtain and pushes in a chair, asking if they need anything before leaving them alone. Fiona moves the chair next to Caroline and sits, reaching up to hold Flora's hand at the bed.
"Umm, he thinks it is some sort of allergic reaction. They have given her antihistamines and a steroid to see if it helps. He said it would make her drowsy. It's been about 10 minutes, but I think it might be helping." The women look at Flora whose eyes are starting to get heavy. Flora looks over to the women, barely able to keep her eyes open, a big yawn escaping from her little mouth.
"Mummy, I'm sleepy. Rub my tummy, please. Fi, will you sing me a song?" The little girl rubs her eyes and looks at the women, scooting across the bed to lie down on her back.
Caroline leans forward and gently rubs Flora's tummy and looks to Fiona with a shy smile. Fiona leans in and begins to rub Flora's feet as she sings the same lullaby Caroline had heard her sing to Flora before. Caroline feels a warm calm fill her chest as she listens to Fiona sing. It is in that very moment that she realizes just how much Fiona truly loves Flora, and how much she loves Fiona as well. A small tear trickles down her cheek as the feeling of completeness overwhelms her, and some of the apprehensions she had felt over the last 6 weeks begin to fade away. Within minutes Flora is asleep and the two women sit in silence as they watch her, both relieved to see the welts are beginning to fade. Caroline looks down to wipe a tear from her eye and finally sees Fiona's bare feet.
"Fiona, where are your shoes?" She asks, a light chuckle breaking the somber mood. Fiona looks down to her feet in curiosity, then looks at Caroline sheepishly.
"Oh, umm…I didn't realize..." an embarrassed flush colors her cheeks and she returns her attention to Flora to avoid Caroline's gaze. The realization that Fiona must have dropped everything to come and be by their side hits Caroline and again her chest vibrates with the warm buzz of tranquility, her love for Fiona growing another little bit stronger.
The doctor returns, startling the women as he pulls back the curtain. Flora continues to sleep, oblivious to the cacophony of sounds around her.
"Well, it looks like she is much improved. I'm fairly confident this was an allergic reaction, so let's go over what happened today, to see if we can narrow anything down. Did she eat anything prior to being in the garden?" The doctor examines Flora's body as he talks, being careful not to wake her.
"Well yes, we had just taken tea. I had given her some trail mix with nuts…oh god…it's Kate…" a flash of realization lights up Caroline's face, the light going off in her head.
"Kate?" Fiona asks, completely clueless at Caroline's train of thought.
"Yes Kate, Flora's biological mother, she was very allergic to peanuts. She carried a pen with her at all times. Could Flora have inherited that from her?" She looks to the doctor for an answer.
"Absolutely. Given that she has a family history and the severity of that particular allergy in most patients, I think that is more than likely the most probable cause."
"But, she's eaten that trail mix a hundred times before with no problems."
"Well sometimes it takes multiple exposures to an item before an allergy develops." Caroline remembers learning that at university and chides herself for forgetting and being so thick.
"I think, to be safe, you should probably avoid peanuts and I'll also send you home with a pediatric formula of that pen, just in case the situation should arise. I think she's fine to go home now, just keep an eye on her tonight. If the rash returns or she develops trouble breathing, bring her back immediately." The two women stand to thank him and he pats Flora's head affectionately before wishing them well and leaving the room.
Caroline and Fiona stand silently watching Flora for a moment, breathing in the relief. Caroline finally looks up to Fiona, with tears in her eyes. She steps forward and takes Fiona into her arms, hugging her tightly around the neck. Fiona stands still a moment, unsure of how to respond, then her heart takes control and she wraps her arms around Caroline, returning the embrace. Caroline finally pulls away, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
"Fiona, thank you so much for being here for me, for Flora. I can't begin to tell you how much that means to me." She grabs Fiona's arm, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Would you like to come home with us tonight? I would really like to sit down and talk, about us, about our future." She smiles warmly at Fiona and waits for a response, the sincerity of her words cutting straight to Fiona's heart. It takes all of Fiona's effort to not leap into the air and shout her joy from the rooftops.
"I'd like that very much." She looks at Caroline, love beaming from her eyes.