Amelia POV

Moving out of the dream house was bittersweet. More bitter than sweet, but it had to happen. Owen and I signed off on a five bedroom, four and a half bathroom that was about a twenty minute drive and one ferry boat ride away from Grey-Sloan, which made it 10 minutes and a ferry boat ride away from Meredith's old-new house. Things were weird living with Owen. We weren't a couple yet we were sharing a house and had a kid together. It was awkward every night going to bed when we weren't sure whether to hug goodnight, or even say it, so I would usually let Owen kiss her goodnight, then I would tuck her in and go to my room while he went to his. We made it work though. On day four in our new house, we were both working the same shift so we rode together in my SUV with Bella. Owen was paged as soon as I parked so I got to drop Bella off in the daycare by myself. She was such a good baby... I had her naturally. My water broke at 4 a.m, I was fully dilated by 9 a.m. She was born at 9:32 after about twenty minutes of pushing. She excelled at breastfeeding and she was only waking up once in the middle of the night to eat by the time she was seven weeks old. She loved to be held and enjoyed her pacifier but besides that, she was pretty laid back. That helped a lot since I went back to work when she was six weeks. I could usually schedule my surgeries around her feeding schedule and when I couldn't, I made sure to pump enough for her to have plenty. It was always hard for me to hand her over to the daycare workers. She would be so happy and smiley until I did so, then it was as if she was already waiting for me to pick her up later. I took time to kiss her chubby cheeks, forehead, and the tip of her nose before I was paged 911 by Hunt. I reluctantly gave her to Katie, the head of daycare, then ran off to quickly change into my scrubs then start my work day.

The trauma came from a head on collision. A middle aged man slammed into a car that had a husband, wife, and small baby in it. The middle aged man was dead upon arrival, while the wife and baby seemed fine but they were definitely startled. Kepner and Edwards took them for examination while I hurried to work on the husband. He had an obvious head wound to go along with a brain bleed and several broken ribs. Time was of the essence as I worked with Meredith to save this man's life. There was no way that man should have made it out of surgery- not with the kind of bleed he had. But being the amazing neurogoddess I am, I achieved the impossible to ensure that little baby screaming in the waiting room could grow up with her daddy around. Meredith took him up to the ICU so I went to update the family.

"You're the wife of Mr. Ross, right?"

The woman was still holding her screaming baby. It had been nearly two hours.

"Yes. Is he okay? Is he alive?"

"Yes. Your husband had a very serious brain bleed and lost a ton of blood. I was able to stop and reverse the bleed, and Dr. Grey replaced his broken ribs. He is being wheeled to intensive care right now."

"Thank you so much. Oh my god, thank you."

I looked at her baby who was almost blue in the face from screaming and crying so hard.

"Has your baby stopped cry?"

"Only temporary to eat, and she wouldn't even finish her bottle... I've tried everything. I swear she keeps crying louder and louder."

I extended my arms to check one thing.

"Mind if I hold her?"

"Not at all."

I cradled her like she was sitting up and almost instantly her crying stopped. I quickly wiped her tears away. She couldn't have been much older than Bella.

"That's amazing, what did you do?"

"From impact of the crash, she could be building up spinal fluid in her brain. Being held like this alleviates some of the pressure. I would like to take her for a secondary head CT scan. What is this little cutie's name so we can get her admitted?"

"Olivia Ross. She's only 13 weeks."

"You know, I have a daughter one week younger than her. If you could, the nurse at the desk will take Olivia's information. I will take Ms. Olivia to get her CT scan and will have a nurse bring you to me afterward."

"Thank you... Thank you so much."

The mom was frantic and crying by then but I needed to save her baby. I had this terrible sense of dread and worry in my body. This could've been Owen, Bella, and I had we been on the road 10 minutes later...

The CT scan confirmed the fluid build up. Once I got the mom, Danielle, to sign off on the paperwork for Olivia to get her shunt, Robbins and I wheeled that little baby to O.R 6. I started to scrub in while the nurses were prepping her. Every flashback from finding out I was pregnant up until me dropping Bella off at daycare this morning started to race through my mind. Moving from the scrub room over to the head of a sedated 13 week old was a blur. She looked so much like Bella... I called for a 10 blade but once I had it in my hand, I couldn't bring myself to make the cut. My hands were shaky and I felt sick to my stomach. As I stared down at baby Olivia, it felt like I was paralyzed. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I'm not sure how much time had passed, but it was enough for Robbins and the scrub nurses to start panicking about my inability to even respond, let alone do this procedure. It wasn't until I heard Owen over the intercom that I could look away.

"Shepherd... Look at me. Everything is okay."

I tore my eyes away from the baby and up at the gallery where Owen was standing.

"I can't do this."

"You can and you will. You promised that very scared mom and wife that you would take care of her daughter."

"Owen..."

"Amelia. I know you can do this. Take a deep breath and remember who you are."

"I'm a mom with a baby not much younger than this one."

"You're also a kickass neurosurgeon. You just did the impossible with the dad, now it's time you do this simple procedure for the baby."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I counted to three. As I opened them again, Owen was still standing there.

"Robbins, be ready to take over if needed. Amelia, you can do this. You place shunts all the time. Disconnect yourself from the patient until after. This is what we do, now do it."

All I could do was nod. I had to get this over with. Once I made the small incision on the back of the baby's head, it was as simple as it could get even though it took everything out of me. Once Robbins took her patient up to the PICU, one last time I went to the scared mom and wife in the waiting room.

"Olivia did great. The shunt was placed perfectly and already seems to be working. She's in the pediatric ICU – Room 4103. Dr. Grey is the doctor assigned to your husband, and Dr. Robbins is assigned to Olivia. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Danielle gave me a huge hug nearly squeezing the life out of me.

"You saved my family's lives. I can't ever thank you enough."

Thankfully she let go of me after that.

"No thanks needed. It's what I do. Nurse Hendricks will escort you to your baby now."

As soon as Danielle Ross walked away, I all but sprinted to the daycare. I needed to hold Bella. She would make me feel better and reassure me it was all okay. I got there right as she needed to be fed so I took her into one of the nursery rooms to nurse her in private. Once she got done feeding, I burped her, and we continued to rock in the chair until we fell asleep.

I was paged around 7:30 by Owen. He was off work now and I had been cleared for the day after my little incident which was why I wasn't paged by anyone else. He met me at the daycare to carry Bella and her stuff out. The car ride home was silent. I know he knew why I was like that... It was just like the three of us... I had never been gotten like that about a patient. I guess motherhood changed me.

When we got home, Owen warmed up last night's lasagna leftovers while I bathed Bella. Once the three of us ate, I tucked Bella in and escaped to my bedroom. Things just seemed off. I couldn't bring myself to fall asleep. I just kept thinking of Owen. Would I have been so frantic like Danielle in that situation? Of course. I loved Owen. Loved him more than I probably ever loved Ryan or James. He was my daughter's father. He was the only man I really still had left in my life, even if I had lost him temporarily. I unplugged my cellphone from my nightstand and texted him.

"Hey you. Still awake?"

"Can't sleep. Today was rough."

"Tell me about it."

"I'm sorry you had such a hard time."

"I'm embarrassed they had to get you. Not sure what came over me."

"You don't have to explain it. Glad I was able to be there."

I took a leap of faith in my reply.

"Want to come to my room?"

"Yeah, sure."

It was only a minute or so later when Owen softly knocked before entering my room. I peeled back the covers on the unoccupied side for him to lay down.

"You really want us to sleep together Mia?"

"We've done before... I mean, we have a daughter together. I think we could both use this."

He softly smiled and laid down beside me. I moved a little closer to him and he put one of his arms around me in comfort. Laying beside him now didn't even feel awkward. It just felt right- it was meant to be.

"This may not be the right time and it may be hard to believe, but when I was in Iraq I missed you so much. We were in a bad place but I couldn't help worry. I was never sure how you were doing or if you were safe or anything... And I kept all contact blocked off, but I regret that. I so badly wish I could've been here for you and Bella."

"You're here now."

"Yeah, I am."

I picked up my head to look at him.

"I want this to work. Us I mean. We owe it to Bella. I'm sick of losing everyone I love and/or care about."

"I want us to work too."

I laid back down and left it at that. He pulled me a little closer and I couldn't help but smile at how warm and safe I felt with him. The light was finally visible at the end of the tunnel after losing Derek.