Jack has another go at Game Night. Unfortunate Antics Ensue.
This was either his best idea ever or his worst. He wasn't entirely sure which yet, but it was definitely one or the other. It was sort of a half-assed attempt at team bonding after Extreme Ironing went south and he really hadn't expected anything to come of it, but here they were, playing Pokémon like a bunch of over excited twelve year olds. As cautious as he was about trusting his electronics into the hands of half crazed evil doers, this was too priceless to pass up.
"Ha! You insect! My Salamance has decimated your Haunter with dragon claw!" Chase said, sounding surprisingly enthusiastic about the whole thing.
"Please," Wuya said, making a dismissive gesture with the DS stylus. "I commanded stone while you were playing hero in a bathrobe. Your puny dragon will not survive my Onix's fury."
"You were a fool to ever challenge…" Jack bit back a laugh as stone edge took the Salamance, and subsequently Chase, out of the competition. "Congratulations," he said, giving her a curt nod and handing off the DS to Le Mime. He then went off to go lick his wounds in a corner, while Mittens and Boots climbed all over him.
He almost had to feel sorry for the witch. Somehow Le Mime was beating everybody involved, armed only with a Mr. Mime. He was chalking it up to Mime Magic for the time being, but he was going to check later and make sure that he hadn't hacked his game or anything. The last thing he needed was to pick up Soul Silver and find out that his beloved Magneton had been replaced with a Mr. Mime. Because damn mimes.
He couldn't believe that they'd even accepted a retry at game night, but this was strangely enjoyable. He wasn't entirely sure about it, he was still slightly paranoid about what happened last time he'd had people over, what with the evil probation and all, but he felt like this time around he had it. They would all begin to respect him like the evil leader he was.
He could see them now, groveling before him, begging, "Jack, help us! We'll do anything! Just please, tell us your secrets! How did you force the world to bend to your will?" and he would say no. He would tell them that there was only room for one evil conqueror in this world and they'd missed the chance to buy stock in him.
"You're turn," Wuya spat, shoving the game system into his hands and stalking off to stand in the corner with Chase, who was still trying to pry the kittens off of his ankles.
This was almost too easy, he had his dream team, Magneton, Arbok, Mightyena, Infernape, Skarmory, and Lucario. Absolutely no way he could lose to the mime. He'd beaten Ashley and her Persians and Glameows, Vlad and his Walrein, Tubbymura and the Hariyama, but not Jack. Nope. He'd not yet beaten Jack Spicer, Evil Boy Pokémon Master. And he never would.
As they started the battle, a sinking feeling filled him as he recalled that once, on a lark, he'd trained a team of Ursaring up to level one hundred and used a ridiculous amount of TMs for "Team Bear Scare." He'd stored them in a box and forgotten about them, and evidently nobody else thought anything of them. Except for Le Mime.
"Mommy," he peeped, watching a hyper beam take out the Arbok. "Someone maternal."
"You're on your own for this Jack," Wuya shouted, attempting to pry Mittens off of her dress. "If you'd been paying attention, you would have seen this coming."
"Why did I ever think this was a good idea?" he muttered, watching as one by one his dream team was picked off by bears until only his beloved Magneton, Magnet Bot, was left.
Le Mime looked at him, raised his smarmy French eyebrow, and switched out the Ursaring for another of his forgotten projects. He was about to have his ass handed to him by a fucking Magicarp.
"Je me rends" he muttered as he waited for the mime to make his move.
What he didn't see was this, Wuya had finally managed to remove Mittens from her person, although the kitten's sudden release of its claws from her dress caused it to be flung across the room, rather than gently removed and placed upon the floor. The flying feline's claws embedded themselves in the beret of a certain mime, who proceeded to panic, as one typically does when one finds a cat attached to their heads. In his panic, he tossed the DS in the general direction of one very covered in knickknacks bookshelf.
It hit a small statuette at the edge, creating a domino effect of trinkets falling to the floor, the worst of which being an imitation Ming vase, filled with flowers and water, that was catapulted across the room and onto the head of one very irate warlord. It also had the effect of thoroughly soaking Boots, who proceeded to streak across the floor in a blur of cat, right into the ankles of Vlad. He then fell to the floor, grasping at the drapes for support as he did so.
Jack could only mutter, "How…" as his mother's drapes were pulled to the floor, the curtain rod falling directly on the forgotten DS. Now, this did not have the expected effect of shutting the device down, but rather triggering the Magicarp's attack. Although at this point, his loss to a Magicarp was the least of Jack's worries.
"Oh my god Chase!" he said, rushing to the side of his soaked evil hero. "Let me get you a towel or something…"
"Worm, let it be. It's alright. Accidents do tend to happen," he said, pushing him to an arm's length away while still picking bits of ceramic out of his hair with his free hand.
"They tend to happen around you," Wuya muttered, brushing ceramic dust from her own clothes.
"But…"
"One more word on the subject and you will be back on Evil Probation faster than you can say Gong Yi Tam Pi," he said, nonchalantly shaking the remaining water from his hair, not unlike an Evil German Shepherd.
That alone was enough to shut him up. He wasn't sure if he could last another month without pirating his neighbor's cable. He wasn't sure that even counted as evil until his probation. Damn his parents for only having educational TV. Speaking of his parents, it was almost six, they should be home any…
"Jack? Jack sweetie, are you home?" Damn. His mom was home and the living room was wrecked and there was a veritable menagerie of scoundrels and rogues on the couches.
Chase and Wuya didn't even hesitate before poofing away in a cloud of magic, but the others were going to be a bit trickier to explain, especially given that they were in full evil costume. Maybe he could spew off some spiel about a school play…no. That would never work. His mom knew Ashley too well for that. He didn't think he could get them out the back door without noise either.
"Alright, all of you to the lair," he whispered. "And Ashley, bring me up the Vacuum Bot." It was originally intended to be a mother's day gift, but in times like these, you laid the blame on what you had available. He would try to make this look as much like a robot accident as possible, rather than gaming induced chaos. This would have to be quick though, he could hear his mom coming down the hall.
"Jack, what happened in here?" his mother asked, opening the door and surveying the room with an air that the ancient oracles would have decided meant future groundings. He didn't know what was worse, that or Evil Probation.
"Erm…well you see…I…" he had no idea where he was going with this. Thankfully for him, Ashley actually came through on the Vacuum Bot.
"Jack, I caught your stupid robot," she said, shoving it into his hands. Somehow, she'd managed to change into street clothes in the time it took to get the bot. "It made a mess of your basement though. Hi Mrs. Spicer, how are you doing?"
"I'm fine Ashley. Now, what's going on here?" she said, gesturing to the destroyed living room and the robot.
"Jack needed help with his project for robotics and it sort of went crazy," she said. "If you think this is bad, you should see the basement…" His poor, poor lair…
"My poor vase," his mom said, picking up a blue painted shard. "Jack, you're going to clean this up. And no robots for a week. Do you understand?"
"Understood." He understood alright. He was getting off light here because he had friends over. In her joy at her son being social, Susan Spicer forgot her usual robot related mayhem punishment of taking away his favorite soldering iron.
"You so owe me for this," Ashley said as his mom left the room to go do mom stuff.
"You wrecked my lair. I owe you nothing," he said, picking up statuettes and replacing them on the shelves.
"I didn't do anything to your basement. If something happened to it, that's all up to Tubbimura, Vlad, and Le Mime." Oh god she gave them free reign of his lair. That could not mean good things. His Wu stash was probably completely empty by now.
"You left them alone with my Wu?" If he was really thinking about this, he'd done it to begin with, and he trusted her around the Wu even less than them, but that wasn't the issue.
"What? You mean these Wu?" she said, pulling a handful of miniaturized Wu out of her pocket. He reached for them, only to have her snatch them away at the last moment.
"Fine. I owe you," he admitted. Just what was up for debate, he would have to make it something that wasn't totally a loss for him, so it couldn't be anything Xiaolin Loser related, or evil related in general. And nothing school related. He was not in the mood to do her homework.