This is what happens when Idle and I start talking about Jack and Chase repeating lines from That 70's Show.
Jack goes to a dinner party. Unfortunate Antics Ensue.
Well, that was certainly an unforeseen turn of events. It appeared for one glorious moment that his attempts at Evil Team Bonding worked, but then the universe had to go and screw the Jack Man over.
His Evil Probation had finally come to an end and things were finally looking up for him. He was beginning to suspect that he universe had it out for him. This was one misfortune too many. None of these things could possibly be his fault. He'd done nothing to cause the destruction of his lair on multiple occasions, the running of his non-evil social life with some bullshit about, "Evil Probation", being temporary banned from both the movie theatre and the ice cream parlor, or forced to play tea party. And now this.
He'd been so proud when he received the invitation. His Evil Idol was taking his lead and throwing team bonding extravaganzas. Sure, it was a lame dinner party, b it was a start. He'd figure out awesome event planning eventually. Now, well, he'd be lucky not to go back to Evil Probation.
To cement that the Universe hated him, he'd even showed up early, seven o'clock to a seven-thirty party, and he was punished for it. He'd gotten there, early, wearing clothes that weren't covered in oil stains and he was pretty sure were somewhat nice, he even brought a thank you gift, the Juicerbot 10000. He'd joked around with Mort for a minute or two at the door, before being shod away from the breakable vases by Gawain, who no longer trusted him around things ever since The Knitting Incident.
Unfortunately for Gawain, the tiger left him by a poorly constructed marble statue with a cracked base. While getting bored waiting for his host, he started to lean on the statue while getting done with a round of Agitated Avians on his Jackphone (patent pending). Of course, despite Wuya constantly complaining about it, he was unaware of the poor construction of Chase's evil statues until it snapped off its base and tumbled down the steps before rolling off a ledge and falling into the pond with a resounding splash.
A few moments later, he heard an even more resounding, "Spicer!" followed quickly by a surprisingly triumphant, "I told you about the marble!" A few moments after that, he was treated to a sight he would have found hilarious if not for the terrifying context and the fact that it was directed at him; Chase Young, wearing an apron and carrying what he would later learn was a deflated soufflé.
"What do you have to say about this?" he said, shoving the fallen baked good in his face.
He wracked his brain for the right words, but was unable to think of anything beyond, "I think I have bad luck or something."
"Spicer, you don't have bad luck," Chase said, his fury melting into a sort of, "done with this shit," sort of look. "You're just a dumbass."