Because it was discussed at one point that bratty teenage daughter Shadow is the best Shadow and Chase not knowing how to use the TV is the best Chase and I was bored tonight. And plus, it was either this or Angsty Cylice Fic. Also I'm not familiar with MTV's schedule so yeah. IDGAF what their order of shows is.

Regularly Scheduled Programming

"This is the start of another long night in the citadel", thought Mort as he hid at the base of one of the statues. Miss Shadow was going through a rebellious phase and was using Evil as an excuse to sneak out and commit acts of petty vandalism and theft against the Xiaolin Monks. If anybody was keeping track, and Gawain apparently was, Miss Shadow had to wait for at least three thousand, eight hundred and forty two years, seven months and three weeks until her current accumulated grounding was up. Whether or not Chase would actually keep it up was another question entirely. He may have been quite liberal in doling out groundings, but he had a soft spot for his unconventional offspring.

Tonight, a familiar argument was playing out. Mort could almost time it. Shadow was currently yelling at how what she was doing was contributing to evil. Chase would counter by saying that it wasn't evil, it was petty theft vandalism, and assault, the hallmarks of a lowlife thug rather than an evil mastermind. And then he would ask her if she wanted to be a lowlife thug. She would reply with something along the lines of, "But you let Jack do it!" Chase would then remind her that Jack was more of an annoyance than real evil, and sometimes comment on how Wuya had him on weekends and let him get away with murder. Whenever he said that, she would reply with, "He doesn't have it in him." Chase would reply that, "He's done a good job murdering the name of Evil." And then she would start again on how he wasn't letting her be proper evil. And it would go on like that for a while until Miss Shadow came storming down the stairs and into the living room, where she would flop down on one of the cat beds, take a rat out of the bowl on the coffee table, and start to watch TV.

By the time the yelling and the stamping quieted down, the poor panther decided he could come out of hiding and get started on the hot chocolate Miss Shadow would be asking for soon. If he was remembering correctly, she preferred the little marshmallows to the big ones.
X~X~X~X~X~X~X

"Thank you Mort," she said, taking the hot chocolate and stirring it with the rat's tail she was saving just for this very purpose. If there was one thing she could thank Aunty Ixchel for, it was that rats went well with everything. "Everybody in this show is so yummy…" Aunty Ngozi nodded and stretched her head out to be scratched.

Teen Wolf was one of her favorite programs. Lydia especially. She reminded her of her favorite xiaolin monk. Everybody was so pretty though. It was like a trip to a candy shop. Or the bug house at the zoo. Jack went back on Evil Probation for months after that and Chase decided that her favorite chaperone was no longer an option. That annoyed her. Jack was easy to evade and it was always funny to watch Papa yelling at him. Either way, she could watch all the pretty people parading around on screen forever.

Still, she wished Papa would let her prove herself as true evil. He never let her just attack the monks, there always had to be an, "evil plan," involved. He just didn't have a proper appreciation for mayhem and destruction. Besides, she could weaken them. She could weaken them a lot. She could rough them up a little, steal their Shen Gong Wu, create structural damage in the temple, get Kimiko to burn things, eat the pizza crusts that the cowboy was saving under the sofa. It wasn't global conquest yet, but it was a start. She had to start somewhere and there was no place better than her enemy's home.

She curled up further into the cat bed, clutching her coacoa close and going through the ordeal that was kicking of her boots without bootpulls. It really was late. Maybe the marathon of season two would have to wait until tomorrow…but Allison had her crossbow…the only way to make somebody yummier was to give them a crossbow. That was a proven fact…

X~X~X~X~X~X~X

Chase almost felt bad about fighting with Shadow earlier. But really, sneaking out and lying that she was going to go steal homework from Canada…according to his Evil Parenting Magazine, getting caught doing something bad was at least a month of grounding.

Mort was sleeping outside the living room. Or more like half way in the living room. Mort was never one for sleeping in a place that made sense to sleep. He peeked in for a second and sighed. Shadow had fallen asleep while watching TV again. At least this time she didn't spill hot chocolate all over the cat beds.

Gingerly, so as not to wake her up, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her off to bed. He tucked her in, kissed her forehead, and made a promise to make her beetle pancakes as soon as it wouldn't seen as an apology for their argument.

Then he went back down stairs and decided it was probably best to call it a night on any sort of productivity. He took a spot on the actual sofa, the cat beds were covered in hair, and got comfortable, only to realize Shadow was watching one of her stations and as loath as he was to admit it, changing the channel was beyond his abilities. The television was a stupid, newfangled doohicky and if not for the fact that the cats threatened to claw the drapes, he would never have considered buying it.

"No. No. Never this…" he angrily murmured as the title card for, "Jersey Shore," came on screen, complete with orange dancing trolls.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X

Mort wasn't surprised by anything that happened at the citadel anymore. However, waking up and seeing Chase intently watching, "Jersey Shore," came very close to creating feelings of surprise.

Upon noticing that his minion was awake, Chase glanced at Mort and said, "Good. You're awake. Come along Mort." He stood up from the sofa and walked out the door, a look of intense resolve on his face. "We're going to New Jersey. We must recruit this, "Snookie," for my army."

So yeah. That's that. Review S'il vous plait!