Author's note: In this chapter a fictional sermon is presented for entertainment purposes only. I do not wish to offend anyone. There is only one view presented in this sermon for the purpose of the story. It can be totally skipped without the reader missing anything.

Faltered chapter 14

Dean stood on the steps of the church waiting. He was early, he'd been so eager to see Sammy that he'd woken up fast, rushed to get dressed, and hurried to the church.

His brother was nowhere to be seen.

Dean hadn't noticed the chill in the air in his hast to get to the church. Now that he was waiting on the steps and had time to look around he felt it and buried his hands in the pockets of his thread bare old coat. It was a clear spring morning. It would probably be a nice day when the sun got high.

At the moment in the cold the street was empty. It wouldn't be in fifteen minutes time. Nearly everyone in town would be at the church or heading there.

Dean leaned against the wooden railing. Sammy and he had been living in town for almost a year. Dean thought it seemed longer since their pop had left. The whispers of the town's people had died down a bit. But Dean still felt people looking at him. He never felt comfortable at church with the whole town. It seemed like they were all sitting behind him staring.

If he thought it would be an option he would have asked Pastor Jim if he could not go. It wasn't an option and Sammy really liked church. Sammy never seemed to be fazed by all the people. Sammy liked sitting through the sermons and learning about God. Dean had heard the stories. For years Jim had been preaching at him trying to drill every book and chapter into his head. Sammy and Jim hadn't seen what Dean had seen.

Dean moved down a step as the front door of the church opened and Pastor Jim stepped outside. "Good morning Dean." Jim warmly greeted after his momentary shock at finding Dean on the steps. "What are you doing standing out here?" Jim smiled at him.

Dean shrugged in reply and stayed quiet. He was waiting of course. He knew that the pastor prepared for his sermons early in the morning before church and Dean hadn't wanted to interrupt. Besides he was waiting there for someone.

"Sammy?" Dean asked. He looking around, he had thought maybe his brother would be with Jim. Sammy liked to accompany Jim to the church on Sunday mornings.

"The Warrens invited Samuel for breakfast this morning." Jim saw the panic that past behind Dean's eyes and Jim moved to distract the thirteen year old.

"He'll be here soon. Come inside Dean." Jim ushered the boy into the church and up to the front. Dean looked back over his shoulder he would rather wait for Sammy outside.

Jim noticed that Dean's limp seemed a little deeper than usual and he seemed a bit tired. "How was your first week Dean?"

Dean stood with the pastor in the church and answered honestly. "Good."

It had been a long week of hard work, but it had been good. Dean liked working it made him feel useful.

"That's wonderful." The pastor smiled again. Dean had noticed he did that a lot on Sundays.

People started to file in and Pastor Jim excused himself to greet the others. Dean stood in the front of the church and waited.

Sammy finally made it, the church had filled up and Dean had really started to worry. "Morning Dean." Was all Sammy had the chance to say before everyone was asked to find a seat and the sermon started.

"Today we will be discussing the apostle Thomas. What we really know of Thomas is what we have in the book of John. I am certain you are familiar with John 24 'now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!" But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."' What have we learned from this passage? That Thomas has doubts that the other apostles have seen Jesus risen from the dead, we all know that. What we do not learn from the passage is why. I would like to present to you a theory.

The name Thomas some of you may know means twin. But what does this mean, that this grown man's name is twin? Well after thinking about it I believe that it means that this man had a brother. A brother who was maybe born first or perhaps was the parent's favorite of the siblings. They liked him so much better that they named him and called the other child his brother, his twin. Now here's my question to you: how would you feel if your whole life you were your brother's brother never given any name of your own? How would you go through life? Would you start to doubt your own worth? Ask yourself would you be able to trust others if you always lived in the shadow of your brother? Should we fault Thomas for needing to see to believe? No it is not his faith in Jesus that is waiving. He is grieving. We have all grieved for a loved one before…"

Sammy sat listening intently to the pastor's sermon with his brother sitting next to him. Dean wasn't listening or didn't appear to be. Sam didn't like that Dean didn't pay attention in church. Sam found the stories the pastor told wonderfully interesting and he supposed that meant he'd go to Heaven. He also supposed that if you didn't pay attention in church that meant you would go to Hell because if you can't pay attention then you must not believe in God. He didn't want Dean to go to Hell because he didn't have faith.

"…What we learn from those lines is what I love the most about Thomas he is an intense and passionate person who does what needs to be done. That ends today's Sermon. Let us all bow our heads in a moment of silence for all the men fighting in the War Between the States."

Sammy nudged Dean who wasn't bowing his head and looked like he was ready to fall asleep.

Dean jumped when Sammy's elbow hit him sharply in the ribs. He blinked and realized he must have done something wrong. Looking around he saw that everyone else was praying. Dean wondered what they were praying for. By the time Dean put his head down the moment was over and the Pastor was dismissing everyone.

"I'll see you back at the house for lunch Dean." Sammy said as everyone stood up. Before Dean had a chance to react Sammy grabbed his hat and ran to join the other boys as they pushed pasted the adults who were standing in the aisles talking.

Dean was taken aback. He was hurt that Sam didn't seem to have any interest in him even after he'd not seen him all week. He stood up determined not to show what he was feeling. He picked up his hat and straightened the hymnal Sammy had left askew on the bench in his hast.

Pastor Jim came down off the pulpit "Go on outside Dean. I'll see you boys back at the house in about an hour and we'll talk some more." Jim patted him on the back and made his way past Dean to talk with his parishioners.

Dean slipped out the church's back door rather than push his way through all the church ladies and their husbands.

Outside the sun had warmed things up a bit and Dean walked down to the stable where Sam and some of the other children were standing along the fence looking at two horses that were new in the corral.

"They must belong to cowboys." Zach said matter of factly.

"Probably outlaws." Andy corrected.

"Yeah they probably belong to horse thieves." Sammy decided as he and his friends put together a back story for the wild looking horses' owners.

Dean who would have usually stood back and watched his brother stepped forward up to the fence where the younger boys were. He didn't pay any attention when Harry moved away from him to the other side of Sam. It didn't matter and the earlier slight by his brother was forgotten.

Dean was suddenly love struck. She was beautiful.

She was an all black filly. She bucked and pranced in the corral stretching her legs and warming up in the spring sun. To Dean she looked uninhabited and had a fierce spark in her eyes. Dean wondered who she belonged to and how he could find enough money to buy her.

When she got close to the fence he held out his hand and waited. He wished he had something to give her but he wasn't in the habit of carrying sugar or carrots in his pockets.

"Dean don't." Sam warned. The younger boys had learned the hard way that the sable owner didn't like children bothered the horses.

Dean didn't hear his brother's warning his attention was all focused on the filly who had just nudged his hand with her nose. Dean smiled at her and patted her neck.

"Sam your brother is going to get us in trouble." Harry accused, he didn't want to have to clean stalls again on account of weird Dean Winchester.

"Dean stop." Sam said nearly whining at his brother. Dean turned away from the filly and looked at Sammy who was giving him a very stern look. Dean for the second time that day wondered what he'd done wrong.

When Dean took his hand from her neck the filly ran back out into the corral to play with the other pony. Dean's attention turned back to her from Sammy.

"You coming Sam?" Andy yelled as he and the other boys headed down the road to the general store.

"Wait up." Sam called back. "I told you I'd see you later Dean." Sammy said harshly as he ran after the other boys.

Dean stood at the corral confused. The filly strutted back around to where Dean was standing. Dean patted her on the nose. "I don't know what just happened girl."

Eventually the stable hand came and took the ponies back into the stable and Dean realized that he didn't know how long he'd been standing there watching the filly. He started walking back to the pastor's house hoping he'd find an excuse to come back and see the filly again. He got as far as the general store when Gordan stopped him in his tracks.

"Hey Dean, where ya been?" Gordan stepped in front of Dean and two of the bender boys stepped behind him. Dean looked down and tried to walk past him but Gordan but a hand out and stopped him. "Going so fast? We missed you this week Dean." Gordan said with all the warmth of an icicle.

Dean tried going the other direction but the Benders pushed him back in front of Gordan.

"We heard you got kicked out of school, Dean. Mrs. Ellen she told us you were just too dumb." Gordan smiled like a snake and Dean clenched his fists. "She said she didn't want a freak like you in her class anymore and you know I've got to agree with her." The bully stepped in closer to Dean. "It was so much nicer learning in a freak free classroom."

"Leave him alone."Sammy shouted as he come out of the general store and ran to his brother's side.

"Stay out of this short stack." Gordan spat and Dean watched helpless as his brother was pushed down. Sammy landed on his butt with a thump. Dean reached his boiling point; it was one thing to mess with him it was another entirely to touch Sammy.

Gordan didn't know what hit him when Dean's first punch landed squarely on his jaw knocking him back.

Dean shook the hand he'd just hit Gordan with trying to get the feeling back in it. He helped Sammy up off the ground completely forgetting about the two brutes standing behind them. Lee swung first then his brother. They didn't connect at all Dean dodged them both. In a spare second he nudged a stunned Sammy out of the line of fire. Gordan got quickly over his shock and the fight turned into three against one.

It didn't last long Dean got in two more good punches and one of the fists flying at him landed soundly on his mouth then they were all being dragged apart. The bully's were pulled off him in different directions by their fathers and uncles. Dean was the last one standing in front of the general store. Looking around he saw lots of eyes peering through the windows at him.

Dean had just made the town legend about the Winchesters that much truer. Dean wiped the blood from his lip.

Sammy came timidly back out of the general store. "You ok?"

Dean nodded. "Let's go Sammy." Dean put his hand on Sam's shoulder and they headed off to lunch leaving the other boys awestruck.

TBC….

Thank you for reading.