Chapter Twenty Seven
After the dreams Kili had had for the last couple nights, dreams that he couldn't help but feel guilty about, he was glad Fili had jiu-jitsu class during the archery team try-outs. The blond had offered to skip in order to come support him, but knowing those blue eyes were on him, watching his every movement, would have been too much for Kili.
Besides, though archery had surprised him by becoming a way for him to ground himself, it really wasn't all that important to Kili that he make the team. He was mostly doing it to appease Tauriel and to be able to put it on his college applications. He didn't so much care for the competitive aspect of the whole thing. Sure, winning was great, but losing sucked.
And Kili didn't really want to win if it made the people he beat feel bad.
So when his name was called first by the archery coach, he wasn't really nervous. He calmly took his place and shot the allotted number of arrows. Despite himself, though, he couldn't hold back a triumphant smirk as he noted that most of them hit the bullseye, with a couple of them hitting pretty damn near center.
He glanced at Tauriel and noticed her grinning at his success and giving Bard a smug look. The senior looked inordinately pleased, no doubt, Kili thought, thinking about the team's chances that season.
"That was great, Kili!" the coach praised, writing something down on his clipboard before calling the next name.
Kili smiled as he walked back to where Tauriel was standing.
"That was excellent," she said, smiling broadly before shooting a look at the nearby bleachers. "Looks like I'm not the only one who thinks so, either."
Kili whipped his head around with a grin, thinking that maybe Fili had decided to come despite Kili's protests, but was instantly disappointed when he realized who she was referring to.
Drake was staring at him with an oddly intense look on his face.
Kili's face flushed and looked down, fiddling with his bow string nervously. This wasn't the first time he had caught Drake giving him that kind of look. It made him uncomfortable. He couldn't say why it made him uncomfortable. Well, that wasn't exactly true. He wasn't stupid. After the seventh or eighth time, he was finally able to accept that maybe, for whatever reason, Drake found him attractive.
Maybe he just wasn't used to that kind of attention being directed at him. He knew he should be flattered, but all he felt was nauseated. And maybe a bit guilty. Had he been leading Drake on and making him believe he was interested? He hadn't meant to! He had only meant to be polite, not flirtatious! Hell, he wouldn't know how to flirt even if he tried!
"Kili?" Tauriel said in a soft, concerned voice. "Are you okay?"
He bit his lip. He really hadn't talked about Drake with anyone. Fili would just worry, and he had been afraid that Tauriel would try to push him to pursue something with the senior. But she wouldn't do that if Kili were uncomfortable, right? She was his friend, after all.
He opened his mouth to tell her what was going on, but before he could, the coach barked her name. She shot him an apologetic look before stepping onto the field for her tryout.
Kili was so focused on watching her that he jumped when a voice sounded in his ear.
"Hi there."
He jerked his head to find Drake standing close to him and giving him a sharp-looking grin. "H-hello," he stammered out, turning back to watch Tauriel's tryout. Maybe if he didn't look at the older boy too much, he would catch on that Kili wasn't interested.
"You looked good out there," he commented. "You're definitely a shoo-in for the team."
"Thank you," Kili replied awkwardly, concentrating on Tauriel as she released her first arrow, hitting the bullseye only slightly off-center.
"We should celebrate," Drake suggested. "How about dinner Saturday?"
Kili tore his eyes from Tauriel and gave the senior a searching look. "Are… are you asking me out?" he asked uncertainly. He felt mortified just asking the question. If he were wrong, Drake might think that he was interested in him and was only asking out of hopefulness.
"Yes," the taller teen replied matter-of-factly. "You are extremely attractive, Kili, and I would very much like to take you out on a date."
He could feel the heat rising in his face at the answer. How could Drake be so… straightforward… about the whole thing? Those green eyes were once again sweeping his body appreciatively, making Kili feel queasy.
"No, thank you," he breathed, turning his whole body so that he was facing the tryouts, even though he definitely couldn't focus enough to see whether or not Tauriel's arrow flew true.
"I'm not used to hearing no," Drake mused in quiet amusement even as Kili refused to look at him. "But you'll say yes. I'll just have to keep asking until you do."
That annoyed Kili enough to turn and tell the senior that he most certainly would not say yes and that he was an arrogant asshole for assuming he would, but the other boy had already walked away. He almost called after him angrily, but decided against it. He didn't really want everyone at the tryouts to know about the embarrassing scene.
"Well, that was easy!" Tauriel proclaimed as she rejoined him on the sidelines. "We're sure to be on the team!"
He gave her a weak smile. "Sure."
She frowned at him before looking around. "Where'd Drake go?"
He swallowed thickly and tried to shrug nonchalantly. "Guess he didn't want to stick around after I turned him down for a date."
"What!" Tauriel cried, grabbing his arm and pulling him even further away from the other students milling around. "He asked you out? Why'd you say no?!"
Kili scowled at her. "I said no because I don't like him," he hissed heatedly.
She rolled her eyes. "That's because you won't look past Fili," she hissed right back, having the decency, at least, to keep her voice down. "Kili, if you won't tell him how you feel, you've got to get over him!"
"You don't understand," he snapped before pausing to take a deep breath and calm down. He didn't want to argue about this. "You can't understand. I've been in love with Fili since stood up to Randy for me at the group home. I don't think… I don't think I ever really saw him as a brother," he confessed, blinking back tears. "I've been in love with him since I was seven, and I don't think going out with an asshole like Drake would help me any."
"Oh, Kili…" she said before wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into a hug. "I guess I never thought about how deeply your feelings for Fili ran. I'm sorry."
"Not your fault," he muttered, shaking his head and pulling away. He gave her a rueful smile. "It's not really a normal situation."
"Maybe, but I should've listened more," she insisted before scowling. "And I never would have pushed you towards Smaug if I knew he was such an asshole. What'd he do?"
He stepped back and looked away awkwardly. "Nothing really," he said sheepishly. "He just was so damn cocky when he asked me out. Said he'd keep asking til I said yes."
"Dick," she scoffed, looping her arm through Kili's as the archery coach called them to gather around. "He's officially on my bad side, which means you are forbidden from saying yes even if you wanted to."
Kili laughed. "You don't have to worry about that," he assured.
#
Fili was already back from his class when he got home. Kili hesitated briefly in the hallway outside the blond's room as he watched him frowning over his homework at his desk. Judging by the particular look of frustration on Fili's face, Kili would guess that it was his Algebra II homework. He was debating whether or not he wanted to interrupt him when Fili looked up and spotted him with a grin.
"How'd it go?" he asked cheerfully, motioning Kili in with an impatient gesture. "Why are you lingering out there?"
"Didn't want to break your concentration," he replied with a smirk. "I know how you love math."
Fili gave him a mock glare before throwing his pencil down in disgust. "Numbers make no sense. But tell me how the tryouts went?"
"They went okay," he said with a shrug before falling back onto Fili's bed. "Pretty sure Tauriel and I made the team. Our arrows hit closest to the bullseye than anyone else's. The list goes up tomorrow."
"That's great!" Fili cried before flopping onto his stomach heavily next to Kili, causing the brunet to bounce slightly. He mock-scowled at the blond, who just grinned at him in response, blue eyes sparkling mischievously. "We should celebrate!"
He bit his lip at the words and turned his head to gaze at the ceiling. Should he tell Fili what happened?
Before he could decide, Fili made the decision for him. "What's wrong?" he asked, propping himself up on his elbow to look at Kili in concern. He couldn't lie to Fili.
"Drake asked me out today," he admitted with a sigh.
Fili went very still next to him. "And?"
"And what?" he asked in confusion, not sure what else Fili wanted him to add.
"What'd you say?" Fili asked in a very neutral voice, one that Kili knew he only used when he didn't want to force his opinion on someone but he very much had an opinion.
"I said no!" he cried indignantly. "I told you I didn't want to go out with him. And after he was such a cocky asshole in how he asked me out, I can't imagine how anyone would want to go out with him," he added sulkily.
"I'm sorry, Kee," Fili said, leaning over and pulling him into his arms. "I didn't want to assume… You've never really talked to me about anyone you liked so I didn't know…"
"You've never talked to me about anyone you've liked either," he pointed out grumpily but didn't try to break out of Fili's embrace. It felt far too nice, especially after the run-in with Drake earlier.
"That's different," Fili murmured into his hair. "I've never liked anyone."
"Well, I haven't either," Kili lied. "And if I did, I'd certainly have better taste than Drake Smaug."
Fili chuckled. "What exactly did he do to piss you off so much?" he wondered. "From what I've heard, he can be quite charming."
"Arrogant ass told me I'd go out with him eventually and that he'd keep asking until I said yes," he said, scowling at the memory. "And the way he looks at me…" He couldn't repress his shudder at that.
Fili's arms stiffening around him told him that that probably wasn't the best thing to admit. "And just how does he look at you?"
"He just… makes me uncomfortable," Kili confessed softly. He didn't want to worry Fili about it. It's not like Drake was actually doing anything. It wasn't a crime to look at someone after all.
"We'll keep him away from you," Fili promised. "He's not going to bother you."
He rolled his eyes. "He's not doing anything," he protested. "I'm just being overly sensitive."
The blond looked down at him with stern eyes. "He's making you uncomfortable and has already said that he planned on pestering you until you go out with him. And you forget I know you, Kee. You wouldn't say anything if it wasn't really bothering you."
He sighed in defeat and buried his face in the crook of Fili's neck. "I don't want to bother anyone."
"It's no bother," the blond assured, resting his chin on Kili's head protectively.
They lay there for a few moments in silence, Kili's feelings jumbled into a ball of affection, guilt, longing, and contentment.
"Shit," Fili swore, causing Kili to look up at him in concern. "I won't be able to walk home with you tomorrow," he explained with a frown. "I, uh, kinda signed up to audition for the fall musical."
A smile crept over Kili's face at the light blush staining Fili's cheeks. He wasn't surprised. Fili had always liked musical theatre. More than he ever did, really. Thorin had taken them both to a few Broadway musicals over the years, Kili going more to see the rapture on Fili's face than anything else.
"And just when were you going to tell me you were auditioning?" he teased, pushing all thoughts of Drake out of his mind.
"After I didn't get a part so that you would give me sympathy instead of teasing me," Fili replied with a pout.
Kili laughed before settling his head on Fili's shoulder. "Then you'd never tell me because you're sure to get a part," he declared, knowing it was true. Fili had a wonderful voice. Even if his acting sucked, they'd put him in the musical for that alone, Kili was sure. "You didn't audition last year."
"I wasn't going to this year, either," he admitted. "I'm probably not good enough to be put in and would rather save myself the embarrassment. Eowyn asked me to audition with her, though."
Kili frowned at Fili's self-deprecation. "You're going to be great!" he protested. "And I'm always right so there's no point in arguing," he added, giving Fili a stern look when he opened his mouth to argue. The blond just closed his mouth and shook his head fondly. "Since when is Eowyn into drama, though?"
Fili snorted. "Since she has a crush on this senior named Lothiriel, who's pretty much the drama club star."
That explained Tauriel's sudden urge to party with Bard's friends tomorrow night, Kili realized with a frown. He felt bad for his friend. He knew she really liked Eowyn. He had thought that the blonde had liked her back. Maybe he just wasn't so good at the whole romance thing. It was a good thing he never planned on having to deal with it.
"So what musical are you doing?" he asked curiously. "And what are you singing tomorrow?"
"Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella. The Enchanted Edition," Fili replied. Kili smiled at the excitement in his voice. "Eowyn and I signed up to sing Do I Love You Because You're Beautiful as the prince and Cinderella."
"And you'll be singing Cinderella's part?" he couldn't help but tease.
"No!" Fili cried huffily, giving him a poke in his side that made him squeal.
"Sorry!" Kili laughed, squirming away from Fili's fingers. "I'm sure you'll make a very handsome prince!"
He wasn't even teasing about that. Fili was his ideal image of the perfect golden prince.
Fili showed him mercy and stopped trying to tickle him. "I'm sure I won't get the role of the prince," he said thoughtfully. "But it'd be nice to get be the steward or the king. I'll probably be in the chorus if anything, though."
"You'll be great no matter where you're put," Kili stated firmly.
"If you say so," he said. "But the whole point was that I wouldn't be able to walk home with you and make sure Smaug doesn't bug you."
"Like I'm missing your audition," he replied dismissively.
"Kili," the blond whined. "I don't want you to see me embarrass myself."
"You aren't going to embarrass yourself," he huffed. "You're going to embarrass everyone else because you're so much better than they are. And you want me there, even if you think you don't. Just like I wanted you at the tryouts even though I thought I didn't."
Fili gave him a pained look. "I would've come…"
Kili shook his head. "I told you not to, and I meant it then. It wasn't until after when I looked around for you that I realized I wanted you there," he admitted sheepishly.
Fili grinned at him. "Well, I'll definitely be at all your matches," he assured him.
"And I'll be at your audition, and at each performance you're in," Kili replied with a grin, though in the back of his mind, he wondered just how much it would hurt to watch Fili pretend to be in love with someone else on stage?
It was probably bound to be good practice for the future, when Fili actually fell in love with someone else.
Tbc…