Chapter Thirty Three

It took Kili's mind a few moment to catch up with what was happening.

Fili was kissing him.

Fili was kissing him.

He barely had time to kiss back before Fili was pulling back, causing him whimper in protest and desperately clutch at Fili's shirt to keep him close. The blond chuckled before bringing their lips together once more, Kili an active participant this time.

It probably wasn't the best kiss. Neither had any experience, after all. At least, Kili didn't think Fili had any experience. A sliver of jealousy shot through him at the thought, and he pressed closer to him, unable to suppress a moan as Fili's arms wrapped around him as his tongue hesitantly brushed against the seam of Kili's lips.

Excitement ran through Kili has he enthusiastically opened his mouth and let Fili in, sticking his own tongue ungracefully to explore Fili's mouth. It was messy, with too much spit and teeth clanking together.

But it was perfect.

"Kili…" Fili murmured, pulling back and trying to disentangle himself from Kili's limbs. "We need to talk."

He frowned, not really liking the idea of talking. Talking came with the fear of hearing that Fili was willing to humor him, that he would give Kili this because he loved him but not in the same way Kili loved him.

He'd rather keep kissing and not hear any of that.

"Don't wanna talk," he said, aware that it sounded more like a whine than anything else. He leaned in for another kiss, but Fili's hands on his shoulders stopped him.

"No, I need you to know exactly what you mean to me," the blond said seriously. "You were honest with me. Now I need to be honest with you."

Kili froze at that, unable to stop his trepidation at the words. His fear must have shown on his face because Fili smiled softly at him and pulled him close again, resting his chin on his head.

"Don't worry. I love you just as much as you love me. Maybe more," he teased.

"Not possible," Kili said with certainty, smiling in contentment as he wiggled closer into Fili's embrace before waiting patiently for Fili to say what he needed to say. Talking was fine as long as Fili loved him too.

"I'm sorry," Fili sighed, tightening his hold on him. "I should have told you before. I just… never dreamed that you would actually love me back."

"I didn't tell you either," he pointed out with a frown, looking up at Fili. "You can't take all the blame for that."

He shook his head. "But me not telling you hurt you!" he argued. "This whole thing with Smaug and all the shit he put you through, that's my fault."

"It's not!" Kili protested.

"I was the one who first called us brothers," Fili continued in a pained voice. "You said it yourself. I wanted to take it back the second I said it. I was barely eight, but I knew I wanted to be more than brothers with you. But you looked so happy after I said it… I thought I could be a brother to you if that's what you needed. I wasn't a very good one, though."

"No!" Kili cried, looking at him in horrified shock. "You were the best! You are the best!"

"I kept you closer than I should have," he said, cupping Kili's face and giving him a sad smile. "And when I thought you were growing up and away from me, I guilted you into staying with me."

"What? No!" he argued, angry that Fili seemed to think he was anything but wonderful to him. He sat up and glared at the blond. "There was never a time when I didn't want to be with you all the time! If I ever seemed like I was pulling away from you, it's because I thought I was being too clingy! And then when I realized I was in love with you… Fili, I was so scared you'd hate me…"

"Never," Fili said quickly before horror crossed his face. "Kili… that wasn't why you were so depressed last year?" He nodded sheepishly as Fili pulled him into a crushing embrace. "Kili…"

"That's when I realized I was in love with you," he admitted, wrapping his own arms around Fili's waist. "That I had always been in love with you. I've felt so guilty touching you or being touched by you since, thinking I was taking advantage of you."

Fili snorted and gave him a wry look. "You've felt guilty? Remember our first kiss?"

"You mean the one five minutes ago?" Kili asked sarcastically, wondering where Fili was going with this.

"No," the blond said, poking Kili's side and causing him to yelp and scowl at him. "The one when we were ten."

"Oh," he replied thoughtfully, thinking back to that day with a satisfied smile. He had almost forgotten about that. Well, if Fili had kissed someone in the meantime, at least he got his first kiss.

"I felt so guilty kissing you then," Fili confessed. "But when you suggested it, I couldn't say no. And when you didn't like it, I couldn't help but suggesting trying again."

"I liked it!" he argued. Fili shot him a look. "Well, I didn't not like it! We just didn't do it right the first time! And you shouldn't feel guilty about that. I'm glad I was your first kiss."

Fili laughed. "You don't have to look so smug about that. I was your first kiss too."

"First and only," Kili murmured, looking up at him with a shy smile. "I want you to be my first and only everything."

Fili's breath caught in his throat before he hauled Kili up into another kiss. Kili gasped as the movement ended with him straddling Fil's lap on the couch. Heat flashed through his belly as he felt the heat from Fili's body from his chest to his… well…

"You can't say things like that, Kee," Fili mumbled as he pulled away, looking up at him with dark eyes. "You have no idea how much I want that."

"I think I can guess," he panted, feeling overheated but not willing to pull away from Fili.

"We should slow down," Fili said, taking a deep breath and rearranging both of them until Kili was seated on the couch next to him, still tucked closely to his side.

Kili still felt hotter than he should, but he understood Fili's meaning and let himself be arranged so that Fili was still holding him, but not in such a compromising position.

"Why should we go slow?" he asked petulantly. He'd follow Fili's lead as always, but he wanted to understand.

"Because we can," Fili replied, smiling down at him in what Kili realized was adoration. It took his breath away, not because it was new, but because it was familiar. How had he missed it before?

Fili went on. "We've got all the time in the world to be together," he said confidently, dropping a kiss to the topic of Kili's head. "I don't plan on ever letting you go."

Kili shot him a suspicious look. "This is you protecting me again, isn't it?"

He laughed. "Yeah, it kinda is, but it's better this way, Kee, I promise. Besides, you're all about experimenting and figuring things out, aren't you?" Fili gave him a sly smirk.

Kili smirked back at him. "You know, the best experiments are repeated multiple times to make sure the results are accurate."

"Is that so?" Fili replied, leaning down and capturing Kili's lips with his own.

Kili's heart stuttered at the thorough kiss. Fili's lips moved against his slowly and carefully at first before his tongue snuck out to lick at Kili's lips, not moving further into his mouth. Kili groaned at the teasing touch, turning in Fili's half embrace and trying to press closer.

The blond chuckled as he kept a careful distance between them and continued his exploring kiss, finally licking inside Kili's mouth, tilting the brunet's head to press deeper. Kili responded enthusiastically, mirroring Fili's movements and snaking his own tongue into the blond's mouth.

They broke apart with a gasp, Kili's heart pounding in his ears as he leaned his forehead against Fili's.

"We should experiment some more," he said, panting as if he had just run a marathon.

Fili shot him a heated look but shook his head, sitting back on the couch and pulling Kili back with him. "I think we need to space out our experiments a bit more for now," he commented, unpausing the movie. "We wouldn't want anything to overheat."

Kili snorted but understood his point.

If they kept at it, Kili didn't know if he could stop himself from wanting more. And more kinda scared him, though he wasn't ready to admit it.

They watched movies for the rest of the day, sitting even closer than they were before, if that were even possible. They couldn't help themselves, though, and often the movie would be forgotten as one or the other pulled the other in for a kiss. Often, they were kept chaste, just sweet exchanges of affection that made Kili's heart melt. However, some became heated make-out sessions that ended only when Fili gained enough control of himself to force himself away.

Kili had discovered that he himself had very little self-control when it came to Fili. Which made sense, he supposed. Fili had been aware of his feelings for much longer than he had, which meant he had to cultivate more self-control over the years.

It might have been unkind to let their kisses become to passionate at times, but Fili didn't seem to be complaining.

Of course, though, it would be in the middle of one of these kisses that their pop burst through the door, Frodo right on his heels.

Thorin just stared at them as they broke the kiss off abruptly. Kili cringed into Fili's arms, suddenly terrified. He had never considered what their parents would think of him and Fili actually being together. It hadn't been important because he had never thought they would get to this point.

Now, as Thorin kept staring without saying a word, he couldn't help but tremble slightly in fear. Fili noticed and glared at Thorin defiantly.

The tension was broken, though, when Frodo grinned at them. "I knew it!" he shouted in glee.

Thorin seemed to shake himself out of his shock at that and shook his head with a smile. "I think we all did," he commented lightly, giving Kili a reassuring smile before looking at Fili sternly. "We will all discuss this as soon as your father gets home."

Thorin went upstairs, then, and Kili relaxed as he heard the shower turn on.

"It'll be okay," Fili murmured.

"So are you two getting married like Dad and Pop?" Frodo asked with a grin as he plopped down on the armchair near Fili. "Are you in looooove?"

Kili scowled at his little brother and threw a pillow at him, which just caused him to laugh. "Keep talking and I'll tell Sam you've got a crush on him," he warned.

"I do not!" Frodo cried indignantly, turning beet red.

"Oh you so do," Kili said with a gloating smile. He took pity on his little brother, though, and added, "Don't worry. He likes you too."

"Really?" he asked with a shy smile before shaking his head and throwing the pillow back at Kili before darting upstairs.

Fili shook his head and laughed. "How did you know about Frodo's crush? You usually aren't good at things like that."

Kili snorted. "'S'not hard with Frodo putting their initials in hearts all the time. And if Sam still comes over here even though Merry and Pippin play pranks on him all the time, then he likes him back."

"Frodo's right, though," Fili commented with a shy smile. Kili gave him a questioning look. "I do want to marry you someday."

He bit his lip. "Really?" he asked hopefully, unable to deny how much he wanted that as well.

"Yeah…" Fili said, giving him a sheepish smile. "That's why I didn't want to change my name when Dad and Pop got married. Becoming a Baggins with marrying you hurt too much. It felt like it would just be rubbing what I'd never have in my face. Stupid, huh?"

Kili shook his head and leaned in to give Fili a soft kiss. "No," he said with a smile. "Not stupid."

When Bilbo came home about an hour later, Fili and he were still snuggled together on the couch, arms wrapped around each other with Kili's head resting comfortably on Fili's shoulder. It was a testament to how normal their closeness was that their dad just smiled at them before heading to the kitchen.

Thorin came down shortly after that, though, and told them to get to the kitchen as well. Bilbo looked up from perusing the fridge as they all filed in and made their way to the table. Their dad raised an eyebrow before frowning in concern.

"Did something else happen with that Smaug boy?" he asked darkly, looking at Thorin for answers.

He shook his head. "Peters is looking into it," he told him. "But he thinks he can get him with stalking if nothing else. But no, this is about something else."

Bilbo sat down at the table next to Thorin, looking between the three of them with a curious expression. "Oh?"

"I walked in on our boys kissing," Thorin informed him before giving Fili a stern look. "And that had better have been all that was going on."

"Of course it was!" Fili cried defensively, slipping his hand into Kili's.

Kili thought it was supremely unfair that Thorin seemed to be acting like Fili was to blame for something. He opened his mouth to say something but Bilbo beat him to it.

"Come on, Thorin, you know Kili is as much of an active participant in this as Fili is," their dad remarked. "Put away the over-protective father routine. This is Fili, your other son, not that Smaug kid."

Thorin looked shame-faced at that. "I'm sorry, Fili," he said. "It's just…"

"I get it," Fili assured him, glancing at Kili and giving his hand a squeeze.

"Well, we knew this was likely going to come," Bilbo stated with a heavy sigh. "The two of you have always been closer than brothers."

"You knew?" Kili asked in surprise. "Why didn't you tell us?"

Their dad chuckled. "Oh, I knew this was something you needed to figure out on your own, Kili. And I definitely didn't want to push you two together if we were reading things wrong."

"You're not… mad?" Kili had to know. He knew he had a death grip on Fili's hand as the blond watched their parents with a wariness in his eyes. "I mean… we are brothers…"

"Well, this complicates things, there's no doubt about that," Bilbo explained ruefully. "But, Kili, the two of you were always more than brothers. We'd have to have been blind to not see that. And there's nothing immoral or illegal about your relationship…"

"It won't be easy for you two, though," Thorin warned them seriously. "You might have a tough time at school."

Fili shrugged. "Most people don't even realize we're stepbrothers," he said, easing whatever fears Kili might have had before they took hold. "And our friends will understand."

Kili frowned. "How do you know?" He knew that Tauriel, Legolas, Gimli, and Faramir already knew about his feelings but he had no idea how Aragorn, Eowyn, Eomer, or Ori would feel about it.

"Because if they don't, then they aren't really our friends," Fili said firmly.

Bilbo nodded. "Very true. Now, let's talk about ground rules for home," he said sternly. "I will not have anyone accusing us of child endangerment because we let the two of you rush into a sexual relationship."

Kili blushed, looking down at the table in front of him. "Dad…"

"Don't you 'dad' me," Bilbo said. "Now, Thorin and I have discussed it before and we think it's best that Fili move into the basement and will be using the shower that Frodo uses."

"We aren't going to be… doing… anything like… that… anytime soon," Fili mumbled with pink cheeks. "You can trust us."

"It's not about trust," Thorin replied. "We trust both of you, Fili. But we've also got to protect both of you as much as possible. You're teenage boys. We were both teenage boys and we know exactly what kind of temptations you're going to face."

"So you're going to punish us by separating us before we even do anything?" Kili asked hotly, unable to believe how unfair that was.

"It's not a punishment!" Bilbo exclaimed. "We just don't want you to rush into anything because of your hormones! And we'll fix up the basement really nice! We'll put Fili's bed down there, and there's an old sofa there, and we can get the cable run down there. It'll be a great hangout place for you and your friends!"

Kili flushed hotter at the mention of their hormones, but he tried to swallow his embarrassment to argue his point. "You're exiling Fili for something neither of us could control."

Bilbo rolled his eyes in exasperation. "No one is being exiled, Kili! It's the basement. Not France."

"But—"

"Kee, I really don't mind," Fili interrupted him with a soft smile. "And I understand."

Kili pouted. "I don't want to be so far from you…" he admitted finally.

Thorin wiped a hand down his face. "Kili, this doesn't mean you will be far from Fili. I expect you two will be just as close as ever, closer in obvious aspects," he said, looking extremely uncomfortable with the thought. "You'll just be sleeping on different floors."

"Okay," he said sadly at last.

"And doors will be open whenever the two of you are alone in a room together," Bilbo said firmly, shooting a meaningful look between the two of them.

Kili couldn't help but thinking his parents were going a bit overboard, but Fili took all everything in stride with a serious glint in his eyes. He wouldn't complain, though. He knew that Bilbo and Thorin could be much less understanding and much more unforgiving about his and Fili's relationship.

Besides, Fili said they had forever, right? He could take sleeping so far apart and any other rule their parents imposed as long as he got Fili in the end.

After all, they wouldn't be teenagers forever. And the thought of a life with Fili after high school sent shivers of happiness through him.

"It'll be okay, Kee," Fili murmured as they both went upstairs to begin shifting Fili's stuff down to the basement.

He grinned at him. "I know. I love you," he said, thrilled that he could say it so freely and have it taken the way he meant it.

Fili smiled back at him. He glanced around before giving him a quick kiss. "Love you, too, Kee."

tbc…