Chapter Thirty Four
Dinner Sunday night was a tedious affair for Kili. He didn't want to go back to school the next day. Going back to school meant leaving the blissful and carefree weekend he had enjoyed with Fili and facing reality.
Facing Smaug.
He bit his lip as he pushed his peas around his plate absently, his stomach feeling like it was in a huge knot. Thorin cleared his throat, causing Kili to look and see that his pop had put on his cop face. His stomach twisted even more.
"So Drake Smaug was arrested at school Friday afternoon," he announced.
Kili's eyes widened as his heart began to pound. That meant everyone would know.
"Does that mean he won't be in school anymore?" Fili asked in hopeful eagerness, shooting Kili a reassuring glance.
"Not… exactly," Thorin said uncomfortably. "An ADA buddy of mine convinced him to take a deal, so Kili won't have to worry about testifying or anything."
Kili hadn't even thought about that. Now that he had, though, he was very grateful that he wouldn't have to deal with it. "But he'll be at school?" he asked in a small voice.
His pop sighed. "He has six months of house arrest, but he'll be allowed to go to school. But he'll be separated from all the other students. You won't even know he's there, Kili, I promise. And it'll probably take them at least a week to get the whole thing set up for him. Until then, he won't be there. You can just forget all about him."
Kili really didn't think he'd be able to forget that he was there. Hell, he had barely seen the senior the past couple of weeks outside of study hall, and had still felt his presence keenly.
"And I'll be with you every second that you aren't in class," Fili vowed.
"And you won't have to worry about him being there during your archery practices," Bilbo was quick to assure. "He'll be gone before the final bell rings."
He nodded, not really knowing what he could say. He didn't really feel any better about going back to school with Smaug there, but he knew it couldn't be avoided. And he knew that he'd be safe. All the faculty would be watching Smaug, no doubt. He wouldn't be able to slip away to confront Kili.
It would be fine.
"Who's Drake Smaug?" Frodo asked as he looked around the table in confusion.
"Someone who threatened to hurt Kili," Bilbo explained. "But we're not going to let him."
Frodo's blue eyes went wide. "Why would anyone want to hurt Kili? He's never mean to anyone!"
The eight-year-old's indignation on his behalf made Kili smile. "Sometimes people are just mean," he told him. "And they hurt other people just because they can."
He caught Fili beaming at him triumphantly out the corner of his eye and shot him a face which didn't faze the blond at all. If anything, his smile grew larger. Kili was well aware that what he had just told Frodo was a lesson that Fili had ingrained in him over the years and had never truly sunken in. Just because he was repeating the words to Frodo didn't meant Fili had to look so smug about it.
"Now, since we are all done with supper, Thorin, why don't you and Frodo clean up while I have a talk with Fili and Kili in Fili's room?" Bilbo suggested, raising an eyebrow at their pop. Thorin was quick to scramble for the dishes and shoo them away. Kili had no idea what their dad wanted to talk to them about, but it was obviously something that their pop didn't want to be present for.
"Alright," Bilbo said, pulling Fili's desk chair over to sit in front of them as they sat on the sofa. "I know your pop… tried… to have this talk with you before," he continued in a long-suffering tone. "But since he was exceedingly bad at it and you two are now in what I assume is a committed relationship," here Fili was quick to nod while horror welled inside of Kili. "Then it's time we had a more thorough sex talk," Bilbo finished.
Kili hid his face in his hands as it became burning hot. "Do we have to? Can't we just Google it or something?" he begged from beneath his fingers. He didn't dare risk a glance at either of them.
"Who knows what you'd find on the Internet," Bilbo answered with a sigh. "And if you can't talk about it, you definitely shouldn't be having it."
"Maybe I just can't talk about it with my dad!" he cried, looking up at Bilbo's unamused stare. When he risked a glance at Fili, he couldn't help but glare. The traitor was holding back laughter.
"I'm not going to worry about telling you both how big a step sex is, because you both already know that," Bilbo continued, ignoring Kili's embarrassment and Fili's amusement. "I'm also not going to bother telling you that you should wait for the right person, because I think you've already found him."
Fili grinned at Kili and wrapped an arm around him. He smiled back despite everything. So far, Bilbo hadn't said anything he couldn't handle.
"And I think the two of you can figure out handjobs and blowjobs on your own," Bilbo quipped. Kili groaned. Yep, there it was. He couldn't handle this. He turned his head to bury his face in Fili's shoulder. "But I think it's important that you have a basic understanding of how anal sex works."
Kili knew he was going to die of mortification. His dad just said anal sex.
Bilbo gave a laugh all of a sudden. "Alright, I'll stop teasing you now," he said, standing up and pulling a pamphlet out of his back pocket. "Here, this should give you the basics. Just remember, you don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with and there's no rush, okay? In fact, if you both want to wait until you've moved out the house, I, for one, would be very grateful."
Kili blinked down at the pamphlet in his hands as Fili chuckled and Bilbo walked back upstairs. He narrowed his eyes and looked at the blond. "You knew!"
"I saw him stick it in his pocket before we came down," he replied with a smirk. "I didn't think he'd want to go over it with us."
"You could've told me!" he said, pouting.
"Where would have been the fun in that?" he asked with a laugh. Kili just glared at him petulantly until Fili rearranged his face into a somewhat repentant look, though he could still see the mirth sparkling in those blue eyes. "I'm sorry," he said, wrapping his arms around the brunet and kissing his pouting lips.
"No, you're not," he muttered, but let himself be pulled into another kiss anyway.
"I am," Fili swore, brushing back his hair before licking into his mouth. Kili groaned into the kiss before smirking to himself and pushing the blond back on the couch. "Kili?" he asked, looking up at him in confusion that quickly turned to arousal as the brunet climbed on top of him before kissing him again.
Kili moaned into the kiss as he ground his hips against Fili's, feeling a thrill of excitement as the bulge in his pants met an answering bulge in Fili's.
"Kili!" the blond gasped quietly, panting against his mouth. His hands came up and stilled the motions of Kili's hips. "We can't."
"Why not?" he said, frowning down at Fili but shifting off of him nonetheless. He sat back on his knees as the blond sat up. "We both want it."
Kili knew that Fili wanted as much as he did but was only holding back for his sake. He didn't want that. If they were going to be in a relationship, they had to look out for each other. Fili couldn't just be looking out for him.
"It's too soon," Fili tried to say but Kili cut him off.
"It's not! Fili, we've always been together. Sure, we might have just acknowledged it, but it's always been there," he pointed out. "The only thing that's changed about our relationship is that we kiss now! This is it for us! Why shouldn't we explore it more?"
"Because I'm selfish," Fili answered with a rueful smile as he cupped Kili's cheek. "Because once I have a taste of you, I'll want it all. Everything. Kili… I've held back for so long, it'll be like a dam breaking."
"I want everything too," he murmured, leaning in to Fili's touch.
Fili gave him a smirk. "You don't even know what everything is."
"But I know I want it with you," he replied immediately, drawing a chuckle from Fili.
"Baby steps, okay?" the blond said, giving him a gentle kiss. "We'll give both of us time to adjust before taking another step."
Kili sighed but nodded. It was probably for the best. Fili wouldn't have suggested it if it weren't. "Well," he said, grabbing the pamphlet that had fallen on the floor. "Let's figure out just what everything entails."
Of course, after they had looked over the pamphlet, and Kili had looked over it a couple more times, he only had more questions. He had never really touched himself… there… before. He had the vaguest idea that gay men did, but…
"Does that actually… feel good?" he asked, looking in Fili in puzzlement. "Isn't it… uncomfortable?" He wanted to say painful, but he definitely didn't want Fili to associate pain with sex in any way. If he did, he might not do it to Kili. And even if he didn't understand exactly why it felt good, he definitely was curious to try.
"We don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with, Kili," Fili assured him. "I'm sure there are lots of ways to make each other feel good without doing that."
Kili's eyes lit up. Lots of ways? Sex was sounding more and more interesting as he realized how much there was to it. Where the thought of it used to confuse and embarrass him (even if he was still embarrassed when his dad talked about it), the thought of sex with Fili was thrilling. Yes, it was very personal and invasive, but it was Fili. Now that they had shared their feelings with each other, there wasn't any secrets between them.
Fili eyed him with a raised brow. "You've got that look in your eye that you get when you come across a particularly challenging math problem. Do I need to be concerned?"
He grinned at him. "Nope. We're going to try everything," he announced smugly.
"Figures your curiosity would translate to the bedroom too," Fili said with a roll of his eyes. "But we only do what we're both comfortable with. And not for a while, okay? And no looking at porn for ideas!" he added with a stern look. "That stuff isn't realistic and won't give you any good ideas."
"You just don't want me looking at other guys," he teased but tipped his head in acknowledgement. He didn't like watching porn anyway. It gave him a slimy feeling.
They settled down to watch television after that. An old rerun of Friends came on, causing Kili to frown.
"Do you think they'll be okay with us?" he couldn't help asking. It wouldn't change anything for Kili, but he really didn't want to lose any friends just because he loved Fili.
He didn't have to explain what he meant to the blond. "Well, Aragorn knows how I feel about you," he replied with a sigh. "So he'll be glad I'm not still planning to move to California."
"What!" he exclaimed, sitting up and staring at Fili in horror. Fili, for his part, looked ashamed.
"I thought it would be better for you if I moved away for college," he mumbled, looking down. "I thought I would only be holding you back if I stayed here."
"You're not as smart as I thought you were, then," Kili hissed testily, crossing his arms and leaning back onto the cushions instead of cuddling back against Fili. "You moving would have been awful."
"I know," he said apologetically. "I'm sorry. I probably wouldn't have even done it. It would have hurt too much."
"You're not still thinking about it now, are you?" he asked timidly, not meeting Fili's eyes.
"Never," he replied, pulling Kili into his arms again. "I promise. I'm never leaving you."
"Good," he said firmly, shooting Fili a glare. "Never think about it again. I'd never be better off without you."
"I see that now," he said with a smile, leaning their foreheads together. "I was blind before."
Kili huffed before curling back against Fili and facing the tv. "So Aragorn knows and will be okay with it. Tauriel, Legolas, Gimli, and Faramir all knew how I feel and will be fine with it. What about Eomer, Eowyn, and Ori?" he asked.
"Ori's known us both for so long that I doubt he'll be shocked," Fili responded thoughtfully. "Eomer and Eowyn are going to be pissed at me for not saying anything before, but I don't think they'd hold it against us forever. But let's not worry about them until tomorrow, okay?"
He nodded before biting his lip. "What about Smaug?"
"Don't think about him," the blond said, tightening his arms around him. "He won't be able to hurt you. He won't be able to see you at all."
"But he'll be there," he said in a frightened whisper.
"Not this week. And when he is there, I will be too," Fili stated confidently. "Nothing bad is going to happen to you as long as I'm around, okay?"
He nodded. As long as Fili were with him, he'd feel safe.
#
The hardest part, Kili was quick to figure out as they walked into the high school the next day, was how exactly they were going to tell their friends about them. Short of kissing in front of them, which Kili didn't really feel comfortable doing, anything else they did that was "couply" would just be something they would normally do anyway.
Which meant that they had to come out and actually say what had happened, something that was easier said than none when all their friends seemed to want to talk about as they met up in courtyard was the arrest of Smaug.
"What happened Thursday?" Eowyn demanded, worry etched into her face. "He didn't… do… anything, right?"
Kili felt instantly guilty. He hadn't even considered that Eowyn had probably worried about him the entire weekend after seeing how distressed he was after Smaug threatened him. He had been so wrapped up all weekend with Fili that he hadn't considered her at all.
"No, he just… threatened me, is all," he explained, the furrow in her brow telling him that that didn't not assuage her concern. "He tried to… blackmail me into having sex with him," he continued in a mumble, figuring that they might as well know everything.
Fili squeezed his waist reassuringly as their friends broke out in outraged cries.
"That bastard!"
"Kili, you can't…"
"Why I oughta…"
"Asshole!"
"How dare he!"
"It doesn't matter!" his voice cut through their cries as they seethed. "It doesn't matter anymore. He can't blackmail with the information he has and, now that he's under house arrest, I never have to see him again."
"But what…" Ori began to ask before flushing and shaking his head. "Never mind, sorry."
"What did he have on me?" Kili asked with a rueful smile.
"You don't have to answer!" Ori was quick to assure.
"Right, like you said, it doesn't matter," Gimli jumped in, looking around the table as if daring the rest of them to ask.
"No, it's alright," Kili said. If he wanted an opening for telling them about him and Fili, he wouldn't get a better one than this. He took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself.
"Smaug found out Kili was in love with me," Fili said without batting an eye, shooting a wink at Kili. He sagged in relief. He really hadn't wanted to be the one to say it when he was so unsure about the reaction. "But he told me about it and I told him the feeling was mutual, and now we're together."
Fili's succinct explanation was following by a challenging look that said exactly what would happen to his friendship with whoever spoke against their relationship.
"Wait, I thought you two were always together?" Ori asked with a frown. "I always assumed you were and treated you like you were…"
Kili gaped at his oldest friend as Tauriel snorted. "It's not like they did a good job hiding it."
"Come on, Tauriel, you had no idea Fili felt the same for me," he grumbled, crossing his arms with a pout.
"I did too!" she argued. "I figured it out at the audition! When his prince charming was acting like he was in love with Cinderella, he was wearing the exact same expression he wears when he looks at you!"
"How did I miss that?" Eowyn wondered before glaring at Fili. "You could've told us."
"I knew it!" Eomer told her with a self-satisfied smirk. "Well, I knew about Fili. So much for women's intuition."
"That's because it takes one pining idiot to recognize another," she snapped back.
"Not pining anymore," he replied with an easy grin, throwing an arm around Faramir's shoulders.
Faramir rolled his eyes at him before smiling at Kili. "I told you it would work out."
"How did Smaug figure it out though?" Gimli asked with a frown.
"Probably the same way any of us did," Tauriel commented with a scowl. "Again, they weren't very good at hiding it. And Kili looks at Fili like his world would end if he weren't there…"
"I do not!"
"… it probably wasn't hard for him to figure out that Kili was afraid of Fili not returning his feelings," she continued, unperturbed by his protest. "But how did he know they weren't already together?"
Kili paled at that. "I told him," he whispered softly, glad Fili's arm was around his waist as his knees became shaky. "I told him," he repeated, feeling like an idiot. "He asked if Fili was my boyfriend, and I said no. I was stupid."
"You couldn't have known," Fili soothed, wrapping his other arm around him. "And he would've found out another way if you hadn't. It's over now, though. You don't have to be afraid of him."
In the safety of Fili's arms, Kili could believe that were true.
tbc…
A/N: So the right prosecutor (with the right motivation) could definitely convince a 17 year old to plead guilty and get house arrest in order to avoid being sentenced to an adult penitentiary (16 and 17 year olds are charged as adults in NY, which really kinda sucks from a human rights perspective). The criminal justice system might be faulty, but you can bet your ass it works in the favor of a decorated detective such as Thorin as often as possible.