Rise Above The Ashes
Chapter 9
Kurt leaned against the open doorway watching Blaine pace and mumble under his breath, 'Fall Out Boy' playing quietly in the background. He smiled softly at Shadow, turned upside down on his back with all four paws in the air, snoring loudly. Vesper watched Blaine's every move, head turning from left to right as the boy paced, tail twitching every so often in interest. "Nice to see some things never change no matter who you've decided you want to be." As soon as he heard Kurt's voice Shadow was up and moving towards him, tail wagging wildly, nudging Kurt's hand until the boy gave in and stroked his head.
Blaine's head snapped up to glare at the boy hovering in his doorway. "Oh bite me Kurt!"
Kurt tilted his head curiously when Blaine's pacing and mumbling continued. Moving further into the room he closed the door and leaned back against it, watching his ex boyfriend closely, noting Blaine's sure signs of distress and confusion.
"Oh yeah sure just waltz on in here as if I don't have enough to think about," He squawked, arms flying wildly.
The blue eyed boy tutted softly eyes rolling fondly. "Blaine I may not like you very much right now but I still love you." Blaine started to shake his head violently, little whimpers escaping his throat. "I do and I'm sorry I ever gave you reason to doubt that. What I do know is that venting to a human is much better than venting to a cat, so lay it on me?" Kurt took one quick look around the room before walking over to the bed and sitting cross legged, watching Blaine expectantly.
Blaine growled lowly, "I hate you so freaking much Hummel." Crossing his arms tightly across his body Blaine huffed before throwing himself onto the bed next to Kurt, one hand draped across his eyes. "And stop staring at my pants Hummel. You lost your chance with this ass months ago. It's up for grabs with other boys now. Sharing is caring after all."
Sighing, Kurt decided to disregard Blaine's last statement, ogling the boys' ridiculously tight jeans before looking back to his face still buried under an arm. "Yeah, yeah, I'm the great evil in all of this blah blah blah. Now tell me young Padawan, what is your problem?"
"Oh dear God I never should have made you watch those films. Stop quoting them you hated the damn things."
"It could've been worse. I could've said 'use the force'."
Blaine snorted, "What the force in my pants?"
"Right that's it," Kurt sighed, pushing himself up from the bed, dislodging an aggravated Vesper from his lap in the process.
"No wait!" Blaine called looking more lost and unsure of himself than Kurt had seen him look since the whole Chandler incident in his senior year. "Stay for a while? I could use someone to listen and I don't want to burden Burt anymore than I already have."
"You're not a burden Blaine," Kurt smiled softly.
"Yeah, well," He shrugged lying back on the blue bedspread and burrowing his face into it, "I haven't exactly made life easy for some people."
Kurt pushed a bundle of Blaine's cushions against the headboard and climbed back onto the bed, stretching out against them. "Lay it on me." Scratching Vesper beneath the chin he grinned when the cat deemed him worthy enough to sit on once more, the bed dipping as Shadow pushed his way onto the edge of it, tail thumping against the bedspread. He collapsed with a short sigh, head hooking over Kurt's crossed ankles.
Kurt startled when he felt a pressure just above his knees. Carefully he moved his hand from Vesper's fur into Blaine's curls letting the seventeen year old bury his face into his knees. Carding his fingers gently through them, he listened to Blaine attempt to stifle his sobs, a wet patch spreading across his knees where the boy was lying.
"They're auctioning it," Blaine eventually croaked out, one hand clenched firmly in the fabric of Kurt's pants.
The blue eyed boys face crumpled up in confusion, "Blaine, I don't understand…"
"The house, they're auctioning the house!" He cried, sitting bolt upright, his eyes red rimmed and curls wilder than ever. "My parents house Kurt it's going to be gone."
"Hey, hey, shhh,shhh," Kurt drew Blaine into his side, cradling him close as the persona he had been keeping up all year disappeared all together and he allowed himself to cry openly into Kurt's shoulder.
"I miss them Kurt. I miss them all so much. I want them back. I don't want to be an orphan and an only child. I just want my parents and my brother."
"I know, I know," Kurt murmured rocking them back and forth, one hand playing with Blaine's curls. "Have you been back to the house since everything happened?"
"Only for tiny moments. I lived at the hospital for the most part until Grandmother and Grandfather practically dragged me out of there," Blaine sniffed, shifting further into Kurt's side momentarily, and truly proving that Kurt really did still love him when Kurt didn't even yell for the snot getting all over his new Marc Jacobs shirt. "After that I went between their house and the hospital and after Mama… just their house until the emancipation went through. The only time I ever went back was to sneak in the back door of the kitchen and feed them while I had to." He nodded to where Vesper was now upside down with his head resting on Shadow's paw the duo peacefully sleeping on whilst their owner shattered into pieces once more. "Once we were all here I couldn't bring myself to go back. Burt picked up some of my things but for the most part the house is untouched."
"But your Grandparents…"
"Have final say in the house and my parents possessions. I don't think I can go back in there Kurt."
Kurt hugged Blaine close and braved a quick kiss to Blaine's temple trying to ignore the way his entire body seemed to freeze up. "What about if I go with you?"
Blaine turned to him in shock, clacking his tongue piercing against his teeth rapidly whilst he searched Kurt's eyes, "Really?"
"Really."
"Okay," Blaine sighed settling back against Kurt's side. "This doesn't change anything though. I'm still me and you still don't like me, and I don't particularly like you. We're two very different people now Kurt."
"Hmm, we'll see about that," Kurt whispered softly when Blaine went lax against his side, joining his pets in the world of slumber. Gently, he traced over the tattoo on his upper arm, smiling at the red and yellow roses and paying extra attention to the bow tie and the Dalton tie that brought the entire piece together. Reaching over, he clicked off Blaine' bedside light before settling down with his head resting on Blaine's quietly humming 'Blackbird' when Blaine's sleep became restless. "I love you Blaine, never ever forget that," He mumbled closing his eyes and letting his body relax into a dream world.
Blaine stood outside the door to his childhood home, leather jacket wrapped tightly around his body as he glared at the lion knocker he had loved so much as a child. He startled when he felt a hand tug gently on his own, glancing to the side to find Kurt smiling softly at him, Shadow's leash clutched in Kurt's spare hand.
"You're not alone," Kurt whispered to him as a battalion of cars drove up the driveway, Burt and Carole clambering out of the first one and each of the New Directions following from the cars behind them. Blaine blinked at them in confusion. "I called Sam and he called everyone else. You're not alone and you are loved, no matter what you may believe."
"Thank you," Blaine whispered gratefully, squeezing Kurt's handing and reaching up to fiddle with his industrial piercing. "I just don't know where to start."
Burt came up behind them, clasping a hand on Blaine's shoulder. "We've rented a storage locker downtown. You can keep whatever you want to, we can always rent another one if we need to."
Blaine nodded, feeling overcome with appreciation at the people he had tried and tested to the end of their tethers over the course of the school year. Gulping, he instructed everyone to tackle the downstairs, knowing full well that most of it was for charity bar a few pieces of furniture he could use for college and the personal mementos from family photographs to his mother's ornaments. A final car pulled up, Kitty climbing out of it and waving goodbye to the driver. She turned and nodded slightly towards Blaine who nodded back before she disappeared into the house, following Carole's direction.
Clutching Kurt's hand tightly, he watched the other boy unclip Shadow's leash before he led him silently up the stairs. He passed a box to Kurt for Cooper's room; only wanting Cooper's old sports trophies and high school basketball jersey, his class ring and his impressive hat collection.
Kurt smiled warmly at him, eyeing him for a moment before turning to his task. Shutting his eyes in an attempt to regulate his breathing again, Blaine slowly climbed the extra flight of stairs to his own bedroom. He'd barely been in the house and he already felt physically drained just from being there.
His own room had already been ransacked by Burt earlier in the year, but there were a number of items that had been left behind that Blaine hadn't had the heart to ask Burt if they could go back for. He glanced around the room; eyes zeroing in on the black Ibanez acoustic-electric guitar his Dad had bought him for his sixteenth birthday. Blaine ran his fingers over the strings, wincing at how out of tune it sounded. Picking the guitar up he sat down against his own bed and began to strum, tuning by ear as he went. Once he was happy with the sound, he mindlessly strummed tune after tune, ignoring the shadows growing longer in his room. With his eyes closed he quietly began to hum along to the tune, memories playing on a loop in his head, being chased around the house by Cooper and his Dad, his Mom singing to him whenever he was sick, Cooper using him to pick up girls because Blaine was a damn cute child. Mostly though, he remembered sitting knee to knee with Cooper in this room as his brother ten years his elder taught him how to play guitar. They started from the time he was six years old and his chubby little hands could just about hold the guitar, and went right up until Cooper was satisfied that Blaine was an excellent player.
Hours later, Kurt climbed the stairs to Blaine's room to see if he was ready to leave, having sent everyone else home a little over an hour ago. He sighed sadly, not willing to say goodbye to the house himself and unable to imagine what Blaine was currently feeling.
Climbing the stairs, he paused in Blaine's doorway at the soft strings playing, Blaine's melancholic voice joining in with the lyrics. "I don't recognise these eyes, I don't recognise these hands," Kurt shuddered slightly, eyes welling up with tears at the emotion in Blaine's voice. "Please believe me when I tell you, that this is not who I am."
Blaine's eyes snapped open, catching on Kurt's when his voice broke. "If I recover will you take me back again?" Kurt reached out and took hold of Blaine's ankle, keeping them both grounded while Blaine continued to strum the guitar. "I'm just another, trying hard to fit right in, but the photographs remind me of who I used to be, if only I could go back where I, I was me."
Stopping, Blaine placed the guitar on the floor and drew his knees to his chest burying his face in them and sobbing messily into them. Kurt crawled to his side, wrapping his arms around his and hushing him softly, thankful that Blaine had started to let out the pent up rage and sorrow that had been building since his parents deaths. Peppering kisses to Blaine's curls, he mumbled nonsensically in his ear, hoping it would begin to calm him down.
Slowly, Blaine's tears subsided and he pulled back to look at Kurt, lifting one arm up and placing it around Kurt's shoulders. "I'm not the person you fell in love with anymore Kurt, too much has happened for me to be that boy ever again," Blaine whispered sadly, tracing a finger over Kurt's cheekbone.
Kurt shook his head, "He's a part of you Blaine, you can protest against that, but it's a fact. You've had a rough year, hell a really rough year and you've lost the last little bit of your childhood to it really. But you're a good person I honestly do believe that. I heard about what you did for Unique and Marley the other day. You keep everyone in line for Finn at Glee, not so much for Mr. Schue," Kurt shot him a look and Blaine snickered slightly making Kurt grin. "You've helped Sam and Brittany graduate high school next week. Yes I know your arrangement. You tutor Sam and he then goes on to repeat the lesson with Britt. It's down to you that they're both graduating so no protesting that." Kurt rested his forehead against Blaine's, "You are a good person Blaine Anderson and I wont hear any different. A little crude maybe, but a good person nonetheless and I love you."
Blaine breathed in sharply, "You still love me? Even like this?"
Rolling his blue eyes Kurt surged forwards and sealed his lips to Blaine's, taking him by surprise but letting Blaine melt into the kiss regardless. "You've pissed me off so many times over the last few weeks I've been home Blaine. But yes I do still love you and that's what I've been trying to tell you if you'd listen, you Muppet."
"Muppet Kurt, really?"
"Shut it," Kurt laughed holding Blaine close.
"Where's everyone else?" Blaine questioned noting how quiet the house was while still tracing Kurt's face with his fingertips.
"I sent them home over an hour ago. They'd already cleared out everything you wanted."
Blaine waggled his eyebrows mischievously, "We have the whole house to ourselves."
Kurt startled, glancing at him for a moment before grinning. "I guess that we do." Smirking he stood and pulled Blaine to his feet pulling the shorter boy into a searing kiss and pushing him backwards onto the bed, clambering on after him and kissing down his neck, one hand already at work on Blaine's belt buckle. "I missed you so much."
Whining low in his throat Blaine pulled Kurt's shirt over his head and grabbed his ass, pressing their hips together, Kurt groaning into his mouth. "Kurt, Kurt, Kurt," Blaine chanted blissfully, pulling Kurt harder against him as he swiveled his hips just right.
"Damn it Blaine!" Kurt gasped, "You're going to make me cum in my pants you asshole."
"And that's a bad thing because?" Blaine panted, sucking on Kurt's neck.
Kurt gasped again grinding harder into Blaine, "You're paying the fucking dry cleaning."
"Too much talking," Blaine murmured rolling them so that he was on top, shedding his t-shirt. Leaning back down, he sucked Kurt's bottom lip into his mouth, grinning when he shivered violently. "I love you."
"I love you too," Kurt gasped, gripping Blaine's curls as the boy kissed and sucked his way down his body, "Mmmm so love you too."