Blister in the Sun Part 4

For PTB's Smut University 2014
Prompt: Like A Virgin by Chocaholic

Note: Sorry for the wait. Vacation and moving country. Life's been fun -_-

Warnings: Jasper steps in Jake's place. Will Bella ever learn?

It hurt more than I thought it would. I mean…I knew it would. I may not have given him my whole heart, but he did own a piece no matter how small it was. And when he threw himself from me, his eyes blazing but not at all surprised, I just knew it. That whatever we had was over.

I reached for him, across the sand. As if he would come to me. As if he would forgive me. "Jake…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He stood, his hands sticky, his forehead beady with sweat. "I think I've known. I think I've always known."

When he turned and walked away, leaving me alone on the shore with the tempered beat of the waves as the only sound to my falling tears, I'd never truly felt so alone. And it hurt. It hurt to know that I'd failed him. That I couldn't be the girl he wanted me to be. Couldn't give him the love he deserved. That I was forever enslaved to a boy who wouldn't reciprocate what I feel for him. I suppose that's my punishment. It always has been.

I've come to accept it. Even when he held my hand in the green tree house, listening to the waves beat the sand with their endless drumming beat, whispering that he would never abandon me, he would never leave me. It was lies. One day and one day soon, we'll all leave this small town, say goodbye to what we've known for so many years, and start a new life. Because that's what happens when you grow up.

"Are you okay?" Edward asks me, his eyes meeting my own in the rearview mirror.

"Yeah…"

Alice sighs. I can see her frustration in the corner of my eye, but I don't acknowledge it. She hates me more than ever now. I would if I were her. Hate me that is. If someone else, a girl no less, took the attentions of my boyfriend away from me, her and I wouldn't exactly be friends.

"She's fine, Edward."

"Are you sure, Bell? We don't need to go?"

I shake my head at the same time Alice says, "What? This is Rose's goodbye party! You know she's leaving for college early!"

"It's okay—"

"Ali!"

She twists around in the front passenger seat until her angry face is facing me. "He's found someone new! It's time you did too! Stop crying over him!"

"Alice!" He nudges at her until she turns back around, flopping into her seat. "Fuck!"

"Come on, Edward! You can't comfort her forever!"

I hear her. Loud and clear. I know what she's really saying. "Find a new boy and stop trying to steal mine."

"She's right, Eddie."

"Bell…we can go back. Drop Alice off and go back to the house."

"No. It's your summer too. I don't want to take that away."

He's silent for the longest time, contemplating my words as we pull onto the sand, the bonfire just barely visible off in the distance. He waits for Alice to leave, the sand flying up behind her with the rush of her flip flops, before he grabs my hand, his fingers so strong around mine, and for just the briefest second my heart rate spikes as we stand in the semi-darkness, surrounded by abandoned cars.

With the way he's looking at me, it's like he'll kiss me, or that could be the shadows playing tricks on my eyes. But then he speaks. "You tell me when, and we'll leave."

So I push him toward his girlfriend. "Go. Have fun." And then follow his footsteps to the crowd. There's a hush as eyes flit back and forth between me and Jake and the girl on his lap, but when we don't do anything, it dissipates as fast as it appeared.

He waves. "Hey, Bella."

So I copy it. "Hi, Jake."

I wish I could tell him thank you for keeping my secret, but I don't because it still hurts to see him with someone new so fast, so I walk away, and end up by the shore where so much heartache has already happened. I stomp at the waves, imagining that my kicks deliver as much pain as I've felt, as if the ocean shudders with each hurtful gesture. That's how he finds me. Stewing in my own anger.

"You okay, Bella?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

"What are you doing here?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "I just thought you would like a friend. Edward is with Alice, and it must be hard to see Jake with Ness."

"Is that it, Jasper? You want to be my friend?"

He watches as the tears glitter down my cheeks, and for a second, I see compassion in those eyes as blue as the sea before the normal boy returns. "Yeah."

His arm is heavy on my shoulders, dewy with the humidity and his own sweat, but I don't move from it, because it does feel nice. To have a boy look at and touch me when the only ones who own my heart are looking and touching other girls. To feel needed. To feel loved. Even if only for my body because there's no pretending why Jasper is standing here with me. And I react. My body does. In the way it tightens. Even though I know I shouldn't. That I should push him away and tell him to go find another lonely girl to fuck. But I don't. Maybe this is me being self-destructive. Maybe this is me unable to move on. Maybe this is me turning my pain into physical pleasure. What the fuck ever.

"Okay."

He smiles and it's beautiful against the moonlight. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He leads me further down the shore until the bonfire is only a lit match in the distance, the sounds of the music blasting from car stereos a whisper on the wind. "How is it? Seeing Jake with someone else? It's only been a few weeks."

I stop so that he has no choice but to pivot on his feet and face me or risk leaving me behind. He's confused at first, but the way I grab at his arms, wipes that confusion away.

"Shut up."

"What?"

"I don't want to talk about that."

"But—" I kiss him before he can finish whatever he has to say. He doesn't fight it because we both know why he sought me out in the first place. He wants to take advantage of my loneliness. I want to take advantage of his neediness. We're perfect for each other.

"Fuck, Bella," he whispers, his lips brushing against mine as he speaks. "Do that again. With your tongue."

So I do and it brings him to his knees. He drags me down with him until he's over me on the sand, the waves ticking our feet. His kisses are sloppy down my neck, his tongue wet against the salt on my skin.

"Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"This can't be more than this."

He pulls away, and I don't like it, so I tug on his arms until he's between my legs, his hardened goodness pushed up so sweetly against where I ache to be comforted. "Hey. I get it. We can just have fun."

I search his eyes even as his hips press forward and then back and the forward again, over and over, making everything so hazy around me. "Okay. Fuck me, boy."

He falters, his hips losing their rhythm as he hands tremble against my arms. "You want to fuck?" he asks as if he's surprised I want more.

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Make me ready."

He pulls my swimsuit away, his tongue making friends with my nipple, and it feels good, but it isn't what I want. I guide his hand down until his fingers press tentatively against where my wetness is growing. "No, down here."

"Okay…" he whispers, his voice almost breathy as he fumbles his way past the elastic waistline. "Like this."

"Jasper?"

"Does this feel good, babe?"

It does, but… "Jasper?"

"I can do this…"

"Hey!" I grab his face until he's even with mine, and his eyes are clouded with apprehension. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I just—"

"Don't lie to me."

"I've done stuff with girls…"

"Jasper."

"I've just never gone all the way."

His fingers freeze right along with my heart as I gape at him. "Are you sure?"

"About what?"

"Do you really want to do this? With me? Here?"

"Are you asking if a teenage boy wants to have sex with a scantily-clad girl on the beach?"

I smile. "I guess that does sound silly."

"I'm just nervous is all."

I push him until he's on his back and I'm above him, straddling his waist. "Don't be."

"Bella…"

"Let me show you."

He's not as hard anymore, his fear having deflated his arousal, so I pull down his shorts and wrap my fingers around his flesh. He moans, pushing his head against the sand as I stroke him back to where he was before. It's almost…adorable…in the way he moves so innocently. He's not innocent. Far from it. I've heard of his activities in bed from Maria Conner. But he's still a virgin. And that makes this all just the tiniest bit special. Like he needs me. More than I need him. And for some reason that turns me on so fucking bad.

"Bella…"

"Does that feel good?"

"Yeah."

I raise above him, pulling my bottoms to the side, just enough so that he can slide into me. It's almost instantaneous in the way he grabs my hips and pulls me down, his back arching away from the sand as his heels dig in deep.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" And there's no mistaking what's happening. With his eyes closed tight. His fingers almost bruising my skin. His body shaking and tense all the same time. His jizz coating my inside.

"Was that nice?"

I can't tell if his cheeks are red with how good just came or how fast. "Fuck, Bella. I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Jesus. I just…fuck! I didn't even wait for you."

I laugh and he winces so I smooth his worried forehead with my fingers, kissing away the red on his cheeks. "Don't worry about it. You can make it up to me."

He's silent for just a moment. "Make it up?"

"They say practice makes perfect, right?"

"Right."

He laughs as his body relaxes. Well all of him except for that part down there. That part, still buried so deep inside of me, just tenses harder and harder until we're both ready for more. Until green eyes are erased from my mind. Until Jake no longer looks at me with hurt. Until I can't see any other kisses besides the ones Jasper gives me. Until I forget about everything else in the world besides the way he moves beneath me, his moans and fingers and tongue selfish in the way he's determined to make me sees stars before him.

He fails. And he does the third time too. But by the time the sun rises over the horizon and what's left of the bonfire is just a smoky haze and the sleeping bodies of our friends litter the beach along with the empty red solo cups, he has me muffling my stars into my hand. Smiling his delight. Whispering, "Fucking finally." Before he follows me into oblivion.